"Surgery?" I mutter under my breath, my heart threatening to beat its way right out of my tightening chest. I can't breathe. Tobias reaches out and grabs my hand and painfully squeezes it until I draw in an unsteady gasp. I don't think either one of us thought that what's wrong with Tyler could possibly be this serious. Lord, please don't let my baby have to have surgery.
"Mommy?" he moans lowly.
"Yeah, buddy?" I ask as I smooth his hair down affectionately. I hate that he's hurting.
"What is sur…ger…ry?" he asks as he looks up at me, his eyes wide with fear.
"I tell you what, Tyler," Zander says, garnering his attention, "I'll tell you all about what surgery is if you have to have one. Does that sound fair?"
"Okay," he says. He buries his head in my chest and clings to me tightly. He's obviously scared, and he's not the only one.
"Isobel will give him the ultrasound while I arrange for the CT scan," Zander says. "As soon as I get the results then I'll know more, and we'll discuss your options. One thing I need from you two is to arrange for Tessa and Teagan to be brought down so they can be checked for strep. They might need antibiotics, too. Okay?"
"Okay," Tobias says as he gets to his feet. "Hey, I'm sorry about earlier."
"Don't apologize, Four," he says as he slaps his back, understandingly. "You're worried about your son. I would have done the same thing in your shoes. I'm sorry he's hurting but it's best to hold off on all medication until we know exactly what we're dealing with. I hope you understand."
"I understand. It's just hard to see him this way."
"Isobel will be in soon," he says then turns and walks out the door. I watch as Tobias gets his phone out of his pocket.
"Hey, Bridget, it's Four," he says. "Where are you? … Good. Will you please bring them to the infirmary? What Tyler has is contagious, and they need to be examined, too … Thank you." He sighs as he puts his phone away then runs his hand through his hair, obviously frustrated. "She's going to change the girls then bring them down." It may be way down on my list of concerns at the moment, but I'm glad she's going to put Tessa and Teagan in proper outfits. I don't want the entire compound to think Tobias and I don't know our colors and patterns. A noise at the door captures my attention and Isobel walks in pushing a familiar-looking machine. She sets it up next to the examination table then looks over at me.
"Does Tyler's jeans have a zipper?" she asks.
"Yes," I immediately answer, wondering the significance of her question.
"He can't wear any metal for the CT scan," she says, answering my unspoken question. She goes to the bank of cupboards along the wall and opens a drawer then comes back with a set of neon green scrubs. "You can wear these, Tyler. They're just your size." I help him out of his jeans and t-shirt and into the scrubs, and it's the first time I've seen him smile all day.
"You look very handsome in these," I say. "You look just like your daddy."
"Can I keep them?" he asks me. I look toward Isobel and she nods.
"You sure can," I say as I lift him onto the exam table. He lies down and immediately closes his eyes. "Are you tired, buddy?"
"Mm-hm," he says, his eyes fluttering back open. "Can I take a nap?" This is a first. He's never asked permission to sleep before. He usually asks to stay up later.
"If you can sleep, honey, you go right on ahead," Isobel says. I hold his hand, studying his face as he falls asleep. "He's a trooper."
"I'm so worried about him," I say as she preps him for the test. "Will his test be like the ultrasounds I got when I was pregnant?"
"Exactly," she says then points at Tyler's head. "Why don't you stand on this side of the machine? You'll be in reach of his hand if he wakes up, which he might because I've got to put an IV in."
"Shouldn't you wait to do that until he wakes up anyway?" Tobias asks.
"In my experience, it's actually easier when they're sleeping or unconscious," she says and she's right. Within five minutes he has an IV in the back of his left hand and the ultrasound is complete. We ask her take on the results, and she explains that she isn't qualified to read the tests, only administer them so we'll have to wait. "A nurse will be in soon to escort you to the radiology lab for his CT scan. Can I get anything for either of you?"
"I don't think so," I say.
"Bridget is bringing the girls down so they can be examined," Tobias says. "They should be here soon. I didn't know where to tell her to go."
"I'll take care of it for you," she says before she leaves us alone.
"He looks so small on this table," I say. Tobias drapes his arm over my shoulder and pulls me close. "I hate that he's going through this."
"Me, too," he says. I turn and he takes me in his arms. "You're worrying me." I lift my chin and look at him.
"You're worried about me?" I ask. "Don't be."
"But I am," he says. "You're not acting like yourself. You're acting like … me."
"I guess you're rubbing off," I say. He takes my face between his palms and stares down at me.
"Talk to me, Tris," he pleads. "We work so well because there's only one of me." Not even his self-deprecating humor makes me smile.
"I'm barely holding it together," I say, emotionlessly, "and Tyler needs me to be strong not blubbering in the corner. I would be of no use to anyone."
"I understand," he says. "I'm scared, too."
"I've never been more afraid in my life." My bottom lip slowly starts to quiver as I stare into his concerned eyes then I bury my head in his chest as the tears I've been holding back the past hour or so stream down my face and wet his shirt. He holds me tightly as the pent-up emotion flows out of me. I should have known that a good cry would be cathartic.
"Feeling better?" he asks as he kisses my head.
"A little," I say. "Thank you."
"I'm sorry to interrupt," an unfamiliar voice says. Tobias releases me and I quickly rub my tear-filled eyes then turn around and face the plump, older, golden-haired nurse. She must be new because I've never seen her before. "I'm here to take Tyler for his CT scan. Would you like to accompany him?"
"You go with him, love," Tobias says, knowing exactly where I need to be right now. "I'll wait here for the girls."
"Okay." I go up on my tiptoes and lightly press my lips to his. "Thank you," I whisper. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he says.
"Is it all right if I just carry him?" I ask the nurse.
"Sure," she says. "We're just going next door." I gently lift him into my arms, and he tightens his arms around my neck. By the time I walk across the hallway, he's wide awake.
"Did you have a good nap?" I ask and he nods. "Are you feeling better?"
"A little," he murmurs.
"I'm happy to hear that," I say as I sit down in the chair.
"Do you like banana or grape better, Tyler?" the nurse asks.
"Banana," he says.
"That's my favorite, too," she says. There's something about her that reminds me of my mother. She picks up a small paper cup off a metal tray then kneels down in front of us. "I need you to drink this. It's how we'll be able to see inside you with this machine. It will taste like bananas but it might have a weird aftertaste." He reaches out and takes it then looks up at me.
"Drink it really fast," I say. "You can do it." I hope it doesn't come right back up. He looks in the cup and tentatively lifts it to his mouth. He sniffs at it and wrinkles his nose. "You can do it, buddy." After staring at it for a full minute, he puts it to his mouth and drinks it down in two swallows. When he finishes, he gags but he manages to keep it down.
"That's yucky," he grimaces.
"Does he have to drink anything else?" I ask.
"No, that's it," she says. "In about five minutes I'll inject a dye into his IV then we'll do the test."
"I'm scared," Tyler says, looking at the imposing machine near the center of the room.
"It's okay to be scared," I say.
"The test is really easy, Tyler," the nurse says. "You'll lie on the table and hold really still while I go in that little room over there. When I start the machine, the table will slowly move you through the big circle, taking pictures of your insides the entire time. It takes about 15 seconds and then you'll be done. Easy-peasy!" He doesn't say anything, he just rests his head against my chest. I look at the nurse and mouth thank you. She smiles and leaves us alone.
"Mommy, have I been bad?" he asks. I furrow my brows, taken aback by his question.
"No. Why do you think that?" He shrugs his shoulders and sighs.
"I thinked maybe I was bad is why my tummy hurts so much," he finally says.
"Buddy, you're just sick," I say. "Everyone gets sick from time to time. It doesn't mean you were bad."
"Are you sure?" he moans.
"I'm your mommy," I say. "I will never lie to you. If you ask me a question, I will always answer it to the best of my ability. You aren't sick because you were bad. You're sick because you came into contact with icky germs."
"So, the germs are bad?" he asks.
"Yes, the germs are bad. You are not bad."
"I love you, Mommy," he says, hugging me.
"I love you, too, Tyler Aaron," I say as I kiss his head, "to the moon and back."
"Moon and back," he sighs.
"Time for the dye," the nurse says as she comes back into the room. When she picks up a syringe off the metal tray table, Tyler tenses in my arms.
"She's going to put that in the tube on the IV on your hand," I say. "It won't hurt at all."
"That's right," she says. She picks up his hand then injects the dye into the port. "Did it hurt?"
"No," he says as he shakes his head.
"I told you it wouldn't hurt," she says. "Now I need you to lie on the table." I get up and carry him to the table. He clings to me and won't let go.
"I can't hold your hand during this test but I won't leave the room," I say. "I promise."
"If you hold still when I tell you to, the test will be over in 15 seconds," the nurse says.
"Can I count?" he asks.
"That's a great idea," she says. "I wish I would have thought of that." Her enthusiasm gains a small smile from him. He lets me release him and then he lies back stick straight and stone still. "I'll need you to sit in the chair, Tris."
"Okay," I say. I lean over and kiss Tyler's forehead. "I'll be right over there, buddy. Be brave." I say the words his father once told me then sit down. I think I'm talking to myself though.
"Okay, Tyler, start counting now," the nurse says. I count with him, watching as the table moves through the machine and when we say 12, it shuts off. "All done." I get up and pick him up off the table. He rests his head on my shoulder as I hold him close once again.
"Do you know how long it will take to get the results?" I ask.
"Dr. Parrish called the radiologist in to read the images but he isn't here yet," she says. "He's on his way though. Once he reads them, the results will be given to you immediately. You're free to go back into the other exam room. Thanks for being a great patient, Tyler."
"You're welcome," he shyly says.
"Let's go, buddy," I say. When I walk back into his exam room, I don't know where to put Tyler because his sisters are sitting on the table getting examined by Zander. I'm thankful to see them in cute outfits rather than the hodgepodge messes they were in this morning. Tessa has on a black and white tunic with a pink rosette on the high waistline over black and white stripped capris, and Teagan is in a white chiffon top with a tulle ruffle overlay, black detailing along the neckline, and a removable pink rosette on the front over black and white capris with a cute geometric design. And they're both wearing matching black headbands with a pink rosette in their freshly brushed hair and little black sandals adorned with a black flower.
"Hi, Mama!" they say in unison.
"Hi, girls," I say. "You sure look cute." Tessa frowns at me, probably because I reminded her that she had to take the outfit off she picked out for herself. Oh, to have her problems.
"Ty-Ty 'till sick?" Tessa asks as she looks at her brother. "Him cwied. A lot."
"Mm-hm," Teagan says, agreeing with her sister's take on the situation.
"Tyler has a tummy ache," Tobias says.
"Open wide, Teags," Zander says. He puts something in her mouth then puts it in a vial and seals it. "Thank you."
"Way-come," she says, grinning.
"Do either of you have a tummy ache?" Zander asks and they shake their little heads. "What about a sore throat or an earache?" Once again, they shake their heads.
"Okay," he says. "Four, Tris, I need swabs of your throats, too, just to be on the safe side. I assume neither of you are feeling poorly or you would have told me."
"I'm tired but I didn't get a lot of sleep last night," I say, "but nothing hurts."
"Me, too," Tobias says.
"Like I said, I just want to be on the safe side," he says. He takes a quick swab of my throat and then Tobias' then seals them in individual vials. He looks at his phone when it beeps and breathes a sigh of relief. "The radiologist is here to read the tests. I should have answers for you in the next 15 minutes or so. Sit tight." Tobias takes the girls off the exam table so Tyler can get more comfortable. I pile a couple pillows and ease him back on them.
"Does your tummy still hurt?" I ask. I feel something brush up against my leg and when I look down I find Tessa beside me with her arms wrapped around my shin.
"I want up," she whines. I pick her up and immediately Teagan wants up, too, so Tobias grabs ahold of her.
"Yes," Tyler says, looking frustrated or maybe sad … I'm not quite sure which but I think he'd be happy if his sisters were back home right now so he was getting all the attention again.
"I sowwy you sick," Tessa says. "I love you, Ty-Ty."
"I love you, Tess," he says.
"Lub 'ou," Teagan says, never wanting to feel left out.
"I love you, Teags," he sighs. "Can I go back to sleep, Mommy?"
"Of course, you can, buddy," I say. "We're just going to sit down while you rest." All four of us kiss his forehead then Tobias and I sit in the vacant chairs he pulls up beside the examination table, with the girls in our laps. Their afternoon must have been overwhelming for them, too, because within minutes they're each fast asleep. I lean up against Tobias and he puts his arm around me.
"We'll know what we're facing soon, love," Tobias says. Even though I haven't said a word, my doubts must be screaming loudly around the room.
"You know me so well," I say as I rest my head against his shoulder.
"Yeah, I do," he says as he kisses my temple. I look at each of our sleeping children and smile.
"I wish I could take a nap, too," I say. "It's odd feeling fatigued and keyed up at the same time."
"I know what you mean," he says. "I could sleep for hours or workout on the punching bags, either one."
"Good news," Zander says as he comes through the door but upon seeing all the sleeping faces, he lowers his voice. "I'm sorry. First, Tyler doesn't need to have surgery. The ultrasound and CT scan were normal." Hearing those six simple words – Tyler doesn't have to have surgery – is like having the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. "I would like to keep him overnight for observation though because his temperature is still climbing and his white count is higher than I'd like to see. I'm ordering IV antibiotics and pain medication. We'll check his labs again in the morning, and if I see an improvement, I'll release him to go home. Your strep tests were both negative but the girls', unfortunately, were positive but I think we caught it early. I'll give them both a seven-day course of a mild liquid antibiotic. Make sure they take all of it or they could develop symptoms like Tyler's."
"I didn't know strep throat could cause stomach pain," I say.
"Yes, in children, it's a common occurrence, which I probably should have told you but his symptoms were perfectly mimicking appendicitis also so I wanted to be 100% sure I was giving you the correct information." While Zander gives us a clinical explanation of strep throat and how it caused Tyler's ear infection, why it causes abdominal pain in some but not all cases, and what to look for in the future, Isobel comes in and administers an antibiotic and pain medication to Tyler. I try to listen to everything Zander has to say but I'm more focused on my son and the fact that he's going to be just fine. "Do either of you have any questions?"
"He won't be in this room for the night, will he?" I ask.
"No, I'm having a suite made up with fresh sheets," he says. "You, Four, and the girls can all stay."
"Thank you so much," I emphatically say. "You're too kind to us, you know that."
"It's what I would expect if one of my children was sick," he says.
A different blonde-haired nurse sticks her head in the door and says, "The room is ready, doctor."
"Thank you," Zander says. "Would you like me to grab Tyler?"
"Can you take Tessa, and I'll get Tyler?" I ask.
"Sure," he says. I stand up and very gently put Tessa in Zander's arms then carefully pick up Tyler. I'm surprised that as we walk to the inpatient rooms the kids don't wake up but none of them make a sound. When we enter the suite, I put Tyler down in the single adjustable hospital bed and tuck him in, and Tobias and Zander put Tessa and Teagan in the extra-large crib. "The nursing staff will be in periodically throughout the evening and night to check on Tyler. The girls' antibiotics are right here." He points at two bottles of liquid sitting on the counter. "One dropper full twice a day for the next seven days. It's bubblegum flavor so hopefully they won't fight taking it. Someone from the cafeteria will be in shortly to take your dinner and breakfast orders. Do you have any questions for me?"
"I don't think so," I say as I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly. "Thank you so much, Zander."
"I was just doing my job, Tris," he bashfully says.
"No, you dropped everything on your day off, nonetheless, and made sure Tyler got the best care possible, and you kept Four and I as calm as possible," I say. "You are a godsend, Zander." A subtle blush colors his face when I kiss his cheek. "Dauntless is lucky to have you as our doctor, and Four and I are lucky to have you as our friend."
"I think you choked him up," Tobias says, lightening the mood and we all laugh lightly. "But seriously, thank you."
"I don't need any more thanks," he says. "I have to be going. Stella and the kids are waiting for me."
"Will you pass on my thanks to Stella," I say. "I feel bad she got out of here before I could say anything myself. It may not have seemed like it but I'm extremely thankful to have had her with me when I didn't know what was going on with my boy."
"I'll tell her, Tris," he says. "If you two need anything, don't hesitate to call. I'll see you later."
"Bye," we say as he walks out the door. We check on the kids then relax on the small loveseat in the corner of the room, our arms and legs a tangled mess, the stress of the day leaving us longing for contact from the one person we love most in this world.
"What a day," Tobias says.
"I know," I murmur. "Can I call for a do over?" When I woke up this morning, I was blissfully ignorant of what this day had in store for my family. I'm thankful everything turned out okay but I wish my kids weren't sick. I feel my husband's lips in my hair and I sigh. If I'm not careful I might fall asleep. A light rapping on the doorframe makes us untangle ourselves from each other's embrace just before a young man sticks his head into the room.
"Hi, I'm here to take your dinner and breakfast orders," he says. He hands Tobias what looks like a menu, and I scoot closer to him and look over his shoulder. "These are your menu choices. Just circle what you want and mark the quantity. I'll be back in a few minutes to pick them up."
"Okay, thanks," I say. "What sounds good?"
"Well, the girls can split an order of chicken strips, macaroni and cheese, mixed vegetables, apple sauce, and a slice of cake."
"I want mac and cheese," Tyler groggily says. Tobias and I get off the couch and sit on either side of his small bed. "Where am I?"
"You're in the infirmary," I say. "We moved into a room while you were asleep."
"I think you should have something soothing for your tummy. How about some chicken and noodles over mashed potatoes?" Tobias asks. "I think I'll have that myself."
"Okay, Daddy," he says then yawns. "Why am I so sleepy?"
"Zander gave you some medicine that will keep the pain away," I say. "But it also makes you tired. Are you feeling any better?"
"My tummy doesn't hurt as bad," he says. "But it still hurts."
"I'm so sorry you're sick," I say as I kiss his head. "You rest, okay?"
"Okay, Mommy," he says.
I sit, holding Tyler's hand and watching him sleep as Tobias finishes filling out our dinner and breakfast orders. He tries to keep everything as normal as possible for Tessa and Teagan and as light as possible for Tyler. He's such a good father. Shortly after the cafeteria worker comes to pick up our orders, the girls wake up from their naps. This family suite is obviously set up to keep little ones entertained with the number of books, toys, and movies that are in the cupboards. While we wait for dinner, Tobias plays dolls with Tessa, and I quietly read a story to Teagan. Tyler tries to stay awake but the medication is too strong, and he drifts in and out.
Christina stops by with pajamas she bought for the girls, Tobias, and me. I thank her by crying on her shoulder for a couple minutes then rambling about Tyler and his strep throat. After telling her that Tessa and Teagan have it too, I suggest she bring Liam in to get checked just to be on the safe side because he's with the girls most days since Fiona and Bridget are sisters, and they spend a lot of time together. After I'm done blubbering, she gives me the final stats on the initiates and lets me know hard copies are in Tobias' office. I want to ask her opinion about our Al look-alike but the cafeteria worker chooses that very moment to bring our delicious-smelling supper into the room. I thank her for the clothes and promise to talk again soon.
After supper, we let Tyler pick out a movie and it's no surprise he picks out Cars. It's still his favorite after all this time. His sisters whine, wanting to watch a princess movie but we explain that Tyler gets to choose because he had a scary day. They apologize by crawling up onto his bed and giving him kisses. He acts like they annoy him but I know how much he loves his little sisters.
Tyler surprises me by watching every minute of the movie but the minute we turn it off, he closes his eyes and passes out, probably because the nurse came in and gave him another dose of antibiotic and pain medication. Since it's not quite bedtime and they've both been so good, we let the girls pick out a movie, which takes them about 10 minutes to agree upon. About halfway through Tangled I notice that Teagan is out like a light and Tessa's head is bobbing up and down like a bobber with a fish on the line. I try to turn the TV off but she whines that she was watching it, and she manages to stay awake through the second half.
"It's time for bed, little one," I say and she groans.
"I not seepy," she mutters, her eyes practically closed.
"You always say that," Tobias quietly murmurs. "Let's get your jammies on." She fights until she sees the cute purple PJs Christina picked out for her that say "Her Royal Sleepiness" across the front over a princess getting into bed then she relents. Within minutes, I'm rocking her and she's sound asleep. Teagan's cries break the peaceful silence when Tobias accidentally wakes her up trying to get her PJs on. He picks her up and rubs her back until she falls back to sleep then once again the suite is silent except for the incessant tic, tic, tic of the clock. When our kids are down for the night, Tobias, and I collapse onto the loveseat.
"I'm so tired," I murmur.
"Me, too," he yawns. I kick off my boots and curl up beside him. He wraps his arms around me and draws my lips to his. He kisses me tenderly for a moment then pulls away. "I think we should go to bed."
"I think you're right." We manage to get to our feet and I throw a pair of black sleep shorts and a black wife beater to him. "We have to remember to properly thank Christina," I say as I hold up a pair of PJs that match his. "She's so thoughtful. Pajamas never even crossed my mind."
"But they sure do come in handy when we're in public." He goes into the small bathroom and gets ready for bed then I take my turn. I kiss each of my babies, thank God that they're each safe and sound, then slide into bed beside my husband.
"Goodnight, baby." I tilt my lips up to his and give him a soft kiss.
"Goodnight, love."
