"Son of a bitch!"
"Tris, love, calm down," Tobias says with an irritated sigh but I know it's not me he's upset with. It's himself. It's the situation. He can't seem to escape it. We can't seem to escape it.
"I'm not explaining this to one more damn person," I spit as I flop down on the couch, crossing my arms over my chest like some tantruming child. Tobias sits beside me, his elbows resting on his knees, a defeated look on his face. So much for trying to keep this under wraps. Will's penetrating glare enrages me. "Don't you look at him like that, Will Drake." His eyes fly to mine. "How dare you come into our home and accuse one of your best friends of something so horrible? Leave. Now. Don't ever come back." I point at the door, my chest heaving with unadulterated fury.
"Beatrice Grace Eaton, enough," Tobias says then he turns his attention to Will. "What have you heard? Where did you hear it? Does it seem widespread?"
"I can't believe this," I mutter as I rise and start restlessly pacing. I won't let the compound look at him differently. I won't.
"It was the main topic in the dining hall tonight," Will says. "It seems like it spread like wildfire. It's everywhere."
"I need to know exactly what they're saying, Will," Tobias says.
"General consensus is you beat her, Four." Tears spring into my eyes and nausea rolls over me. I turn and run to the powder room, getting to the porcelain bowl just in the nick of time. My stomach retches until it's totally empty and even then, it doesn't stop.
"Can I get you anything, love?" Tobias asks, his voice pained.
"Water please." I turn and sit on the toilet seat after rinsing my mouth, trying to catch my breath. Within a minute, Tobias holds out a glass of water, and I reach for it with a trembling hand.
"Are you okay?" he asks, his face full of love and worry.
"Why is this happening?" Tears roll down my cheeks and emotion sticks in my throat.
"Please don't cry, love," he says as he takes me in his arms. "We'll get through this."
"Why do our friends think you would hurt me?" I blubber against his hard chest.
"You do have my handprint on your arm," he says, as he caresses the back of my head.
"You didn't mean it."
"I know but it doesn't change the fact that it looks bad. You know that. Anyone who sees that bruise is going to assume the worst."
"I didn't think this could get any worse," I say as I release my grip on him. He cups my cheeks with his loving hands and dries my tears with a few gentle swipes of his calloused thumbs. "I love you so much. I'm so sorry."
"I know and I love you," he says. "Don't be so mad at Will. He cares about you. He doesn't want anything bad to happen to you."
"I didn't like how he was looking at you," I utter. Movement catches my eye and I notice Will lingering on the other side of the doorway.
"I'm sorry, Tris," he says. "I should have known better. I didn't believe a word I heard tonight but then I saw the bruises. I assumed the worse. Can I ask what happened?"
"It's really none of your business," I spit.
"Tris," Tobias quietly admonishes. "The gist is we had an argument, words were said, and I grabbed her to get her to talk to me. That's what happened." I step into the dining room and stand in front of my friend, my hands on my hips, my eyes hard. I'm quiet as competing emotions battle inside me.
"This has been incredibly hard on him, Will. I'm not going to let him be hurt further," I finally say, trying to keep calm. "This bruise was just as much my fault as it was his. He's never hurt me not once but my so-called friends thinking the worse about the man I chose to spend my life with is tearing me up inside. I'm glad you're concerned about me, I really am; it means the world to me. But what about him?" Rage is edging out anguish at the moment and once again I'm seething. "How can you walk in here, see a bruise and condemn him without asking a single question." He tries to interrupt but I stop him. "Don't try to deny it. I saw it on your face. You saw this," I point at my arm, "and automatically thought whatever you heard tonight was true. That's not being a very good friend to him."
"You're right," Will says. "I jumped to conclusions."
"He's not his father," I mutter petulantly.
"I know he's not. I'm sorry, Four. I didn't mean to make things worse. I just thought you deserved to know what was being said beyond these walls."
"We appreciate it," Tobias says. "And you're right. The past few days have been hell for us."
"It almost cost us everything," I say, anger still simmering just beneath the surface.
"And you don't have to apologize, Will," Tobias says. "Like I said to Stella and Zander earlier, I'm glad my wife has friends who passionately care for her. I don't blame you for thinking the rumors are true with how it looks."
"Can I give you some advice, Tris?" he asks and I nod. "Keep that bruise covered up until it goes away. People who really know you two will laugh off the rumors but only if they don't see that."
"I will," I say.
"I've got to get home," he says. "Christina will be wondering where I am."
"I'll walk you out," Tobias says. I follow them into the living room and lie down on the couch while I watch them go to the door. I stare at the ceiling, leaving them to talk. How are we going to get through this? We've never had bad reputations in the compound. Yes, most members have a healthy fear of Four but what does this mean now? Are they going to look at him as a monster? Are they going to stop trusting that he knows what's best for Dauntless?
"Mommy." I lift my eyelids to find the most beautiful light blue orbs looking at me somewhat forlornly.
"Hey, buddy," I say as I drag myself into a sitting position. "What are you doing up?"
"I hear voices," he whispers. "I gots scared." I drag him up into my lap and he wraps his arms around me.
"There's nothing to be scared about. Uncle Will dropped by for a minute to tell Mommy and Daddy something," I say. "I'm sorry we woke you up."
"Did Daddy hurt you again?"
"Again?" Tobias and I say at the same time. I look up and meet his bemused eyes.
"What do you mean again?" I quietly ask, keeping my voice as steady as possible. I'm so glad Will left already. He would second guess our denials of abuse.
"He made you cry," he says. "'Member?"
"I remember," I softly say. "Why would you ask that?"
"You was fighting," he pouts.
"Buddy, we weren't fighting," Tobias says, even more confused.
"Mommy was yelling."
"How long were you listening?"
"A while," he finally confesses. "I waked up and my light was out. I was scared so I comed to get you but you was mad so I didn't get you." I tighten my embrace, and I hear him yawn.
"The news Uncle Will told us upset me … terribly. I wasn't yelling at Daddy," I say. "I'm sorry I woke you up. How about we get you back into bed?"
"Okay," he sighs.
"I'll carry you," Tobias says.
"No. I want my mommy," Tyler stubbornly says clinging to me as his father tries to lift him from my lap.
"I'll get him," I say. "Come on, buddy." I shift him and he wraps his arms around my neck and holds tight. We head upstairs and into his dark room. "How about we rock while Daddy finds a new bulb?"
"Okay, Mommy," he sleepily says. It won't take long for him to fall back to sleep. He played hard today.
After a quiet moment he asks, "Are you sad?"
"No, I'm not sad," I say. "I'm actually quite happy. Why?"
"I don't want you and Daddy fighting."
"Oh, buddy. I can't promise you that Daddy and I will never fight ever again," I say. He looks up at me with a pout on his lips and fear in his eyes. "You see, Daddy and I both have our own thoughts and ideas on things. Just like you do." I kiss his forehead. "Sometimes we agree on a subject and sometimes we don't. We always try to talk through our differences because we don't want to hurt each other's feelings and come up with a compromise."
"What's that?" he asks.
"Let's see. We compromised that time Tessa and Teagan wanted vanilla ice cream and you wanted chocolate by having hot fudge sundaes. Do you understand?" He nods. "But there are other times that Mommy and Daddy's views are so far apart that it's hard to find a middle ground and a discussion can turn into an argument."
"I don't like it when you fight," he says.
"I want you to be honest with me, my sweet boy, do you think Mommy and Daddy fight a lot?" I ask, fearing his answer but needing to know what he thinks.
He silently stares up at me for so long that I think he fell asleep with his eyes open before saying, "No. You don't fight a lot but I don't like it at all. I don't want you getting a 'vorce. I don't like you sad. I like when we all happy."
"I'll never lie to you, Tyler. I wasn't very happy earlier but it had absolutely nothing to do with you, your sisters, or your daddy. Someone made a mistake, and I was just letting Will know the truth. I shouldn't have yelled but I was upset."
"You still upset?" he asks.
"No," I say. "I'm very happy sitting here with you like this. We don't do this very often."
"I know. I like it, too."
"Do you know how much I love you?" I ask as I kiss his head.
"To the moon and back," he states with a sleepy smile on his face.
"You changed my life," I say.
"How?"
"You made me a mommy," I say. "You are such a special child. Remember that always. I love you with my whole heart and soul." A big grin spreads across his face as his hooded eyelids finally close.
"Love you, Mommy," he murmurs almost incoherently.
"I love you, too, my sweet boy," I say as I kiss his forehead.
"That boy loves you more than anything else in this world," Tobias softly says from the doorway. I was concentrating so hard on Tyler that I missed the fact that my handsome husband was leaning up against the doorjamb listening to us.
"He loves you, too," I say.
"I know but you're the one he always wants. You always have been. You were Mommy long before I was Daddy."
"Are you … jealous?" I ask.
"Jealous? No, not at all," he says. "I'm glad you two have such a strong bond. I think we're both lucky. He could have hated us."
"No. He's too sweet to hate anyone, well except for the sperm donor," I say. We refuse to utter his biological father's name, especially in his presence. Even after all this time and knowing that he and Evelyn are both deceased, Tyler thinks that somehow he'll be taken away from us. Each time the issue arises, we reassure him the best we can but he still has nightmares for days. I'd give anything to punch that stupid judge in the face. He's never had to listen to Tyler's screaming and pleading and look into his terrified eyes as he comes out of a nightmare.
I continue gently rocking Tyler while Tobias changes the burnt-out lightbulb then he gently lifts him off my lap and puts him back in bed. I tuck him in safe and sound then we both softly kiss his head.
"Goodnight, my sweet boy," I whisper before leaving him to hopefully sleep the rest of the night.
"I think we need to talk about the rumors," Tobias says as we make our way into the hallway. I don't want to but I know he's right. We need to figure out how to address them. "How about we go up to the roof?"
"Okay. It's really a nice night," I say. "I'll go get the baby monitor if you get us something cold to drink."
"Cider? Lemonade? Tea?"
"I'd take a lightly sweetened iced tea please."
"I'll be right back." He places a soft kiss on my temple on his way by me.
"Hey, baby?" He stops on the top step and looks back over his shoulder at me. "Will you leave the upstairs door open and the light on so Tyler knows where we are just in case he wakes up again? I don't want him to get scared. He's had a rough enough night as it is."
"Of course," he says. He turns back around and heads down the stairs as I get the monitor off my nightstand. I go into the nursery and check on the girls before I head to the roof and find that they're both sound asleep. I softly kiss their heads then make my way to our rooftop oasis. The cityscape is still blazing bright, lighting up our intimate seating area. I get comfortable on the loveseat and put the baby monitor on the small table next to me.
While I wait for Tobias, my mind automatically runs through every moment of the past few days trying to figure out who would have started the rumor about us, and I come up empty. If people were abuzz with gossip during dinner, it couldn't have been Stella or Zander who first said something to someone. We were with them when the rumor started going around the compound, not to mention they confronted us with their suspicions head on then heard us out. Whoever did this didn't say anything to me they just took it upon themselves to gossip. I'd like to kill whoever did this. They're making our lives a hell of a lot harder than they need to be.
"Here's your iced tea, love," Tobias says startling me out of my reverie as he hands me the tall glass. "Want to talk about it?"
"I was just trying to figure out who saw this damn thing and instead of coming to me decided to spread it around the compound," I say as I take a sip of the refreshing liquid. It's a nice evening but it's warmer than usual for this time of night, and there's no breeze.
"It doesn't really matter who did it," he says. "It's been done."
"But it's not fair," I whine. "We just came to terms with it and was putting it behind us."
"Sometimes life's not fair, Tris," he says. "It's dealt me some pretty shitty hands before. We can and we will get through this."
"So, what do we do? Deny it, confirm it, ignore it? What?"
"I think that unless things spiral out of control, we should just ignore it," he says. "Rumors fly around the compound all the time. It's nothing new. Next week something else will peak everyone's interest."
"You're right on that account," I say with a small smile. "I'm still not sure how the warrior faction turns into a bunch of gossiping old busybodies at the drop of a tasty tidbit." I watch him out of the corner of my eye as I take another sip of my tea. "Just remember that you're not alone." I reach up and cup his cheek. "We're in this together, for better or worse."
"That actually makes me feel a little better." We stare into each other's eyes, and I see the war raging inside of him. I want nothing more than to take the pain away.
"What does this mean for us, Tobias? Are we okay?"
"Of course, we are. We're fine, love. I've accepted that it was an accident. I still don't like that I left marks on you but I refuse to let it ruin what we have. I love you so much," he says as he reaches up and sweeps my hair off my shoulder then gently massages my stiff muscles. "But to be honest, I'm worried Dauntless members will look at me differently from now on. I'm also worried that they'll think you are making excuses for me if we have to address the rumors. I don't want anyone thinking I'm controlling you."
"Normally I would say who cares what other people think but I happen to agree with you. I don't want your reputation to suffer," I say. He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip, rescuing it from my teeth. I didn't realize I was gnawing on it. "You have no idea how much I wish I could go back in time and change that whole night … well except for the sex. The sex was divine but then again it always is."
"Are you trying to distract me, love?"
"Would I do that?" I giggle as heat not only floods my cheeks but between my thighs, too. I take a sip of my iced tea and gaze at him over the rim of the glass.
"I know you would," he growls. "Tease."
"How about that quickie you were begging for earlier?" I suggest, running a finger up and down his cotton-covered chest. "I want you inside me."
"You told me you're sore, Tris," he softly but quite sternly says. "I'm not going to make it worse for you." I set my glass beside the baby monitor then move to straddle his lap. A deep groan rumbles in his chest when I run my fingers into his hair and move my lips to his neck.
"I need you deep inside me, baby. I need you to make this ache go away," I whisper against his sensitive right ear as I seductively grind my hips against his. I immediately feel him react, getting hard for me. "You want me, too."
"Of course, I do," he growls as he tightens his grip on my hips. The city lights shining down on us like a spotlight extinguish nearly all at once indicating it's midnight. I reach down and drag my tank top up my body and off over my head. He moans when I bare my chest to him. "Tris."
"Please." I know I'm using my feminine wiles and that it may be selfish but I don't care. I know what I want; I want him.
He stares deeply into my wanting eyes for what seems like a lifetime, his gaze penetrating my very soul. Suddenly, his mouth lands on mine in an eager kiss that threatens to consume me. We move our lips together impatiently as our clothes fall away one article at a time leaving us naked and writhing against each other.
"Get on your knees with your arms resting on the back of the loveseat." I give him another fiery kiss then climb off his lap and follow his instructions. I may still be sore from last night but this insatiable need I'm feeling right now will only quiet once he's deep inside me. He shrouds my body with his and kisses every inch of my exposed neck. As his fingertips lightly graze my sides, he presses his lips against my sensitive ear, and says, "Spread your legs wider for me, love." I move my knees even farther apart as a subtle blush spreads across my chest. "Damn, you're so sexy." I feel his lips skim down my spine dropping sporadic kisses as his hands wander over my bare, heated skin. I involuntarily arch my back, presenting myself to him even more as my breath gets caught in my throat. I expect him to enter me so when I instead feel the velvety tip of his tongue glide over my moist opening I flinch.
"Oh, baby," I moan. "That feels so good." I fist my hands in the pillows I'm resting on and push my body towards his exploring tongue and lips. He takes his sweet time kissing every inch of my exposed flesh before concentrating on tasting me. He gently nibbles on my folds then soothes the sting first with a delicate kiss and then with the glide of his tongue. He's gotten so much better at this than the first time. He knows every inch of my body and just how to wring every ounce of pleasure from it. "Oh, Tobias." He then thrusts his insatiable tongue inside me, making love to me with his mouth. "Aah!"
"Have I ever told you how amazing you taste?" he asks as he moves his mouth to the back of my thighs. Holy fuck! "Kind of a cross between plums and honey. So delicious." I'm rendered speechless from his unorthodox compliment and my body burns. He thoroughly explores the back of each thigh unlike he's ever done while his fingers gently roll my painfully stiff nipples.
"Oh, God!" I moan as he moves his tongue to attack my needy bundle of nerves. He lightly circles, barely touching the aching nub then he applies more pressure as he laps at it. He tightly wraps his arms around my thighs, holding me in place when I try to get away from his merciless tongue. He takes his time, savoring me with leisurely, decadent strokes over my nubbin. I bite down on the loveseat cushions as my entire body starts to quake. He has me wound so tightly I fear the power of the unraveling. "Tobias! Oh, my God!" Knowing how close I am, he concentrates on just the right spot that makes me sees stars. "Right there! Right there! Oh, God! Don't stop, baby!" I scream his name as pleasure peaks in a spectacular burst of blinding white light. Tobias holds onto me, never once letting his tongue leave its mark as I ride the wave of overwhelming bliss to completion.
"Are you sure you still want to do this?" he asks, his mouth beside my ear. I'm so spent I didn't even feel him move.
"Definitely," I say, although I'm still panting from the incredible release and it doesn't come out as forceful as I mean.
"Do you think you're ready for me?"
"Mm." I moan my affirmation incoherently, turning my head and searching out his mouth. As we move our lips together fervently, he slowly inserts a thick finger inside me while gently circling my overly sensitive, swollen nubbin with his thumb.
"I just can't say no," he murmurs almost inaudibly. I doubt he even knows he said it. He removes his finger then places his hard length at my entrance. I gasp into his open mouth as he slowly pushes his way inside me. He stills letting me get used to his size once he's fully seated inside me.
"You feel so good, Tobias." I moan.
"Are you all right, love?" he roughly asks, always worried about me. He places loving butterfly kisses all along my shoulders.
"I'm more than all right," I pant. "Make love to me, baby."
Our pace is unhurried as we love each other. I reach back and twist my fingers in his hair as we leisurely move against one another. His grip on my hips almost becomes too much to bear as he slowly slides in and out of me.
"I love you," he roughly says as he moves his mouth back to mine. We kiss intimately, our tongues dancing as we thoroughly enjoy each other. We keep the pace slow but I feel a powerful release building nonetheless. I don't realize he moves his hands until one palms a swaying breast and the other gently circles my throbbing bundle of nerves.
"Oh, God!" I moan as the now very familiar pressure builds with an almost frightening intensity. "I love you, Tobias. Make me come." He presses a little harder on my nubbin as we move against each other. I drag his mouth beck to mine and kiss him hard until a massive explosion rocks my body. I throw my head back and scream out his name in pure pleasure. He lets out a rapturous groan of his own against my ear as he follows me over the edge into ecstasy. After a few more thrust, we collapse against the back of the loveseat. The only sounds I hear are our mingling heavy breaths and the crickets' nightly serenade. After a few minutes he carefully pulls out of me then drags me into his arms.
"I love you," Tobias says as he leisurely drags his fingertips up and down my spine.
"I love you, too," I tiredly say.
"I'm sorry, love," he says. "We shouldn't have friends showing up at our door asking if I beat you."
"I just wish whoever started that damn rumor would have come to us then maybe it wouldn't be half way around the compound by now," I say. "I'm sure it embarrasses you."
"I can handle it," he says. "I just don't want people looking at you differently." I sit straight up and look into his eyes, suddenly remembering something. "What is it?"
"I think I know who it was," I say. "One of the salon technicians, I don't even know her name, saw the bruise. I totally forgot about that. She gave me such an odd look. I remember at the time worrying about rumors starting. It had to be her. It couldn't have been anyone else. I'm going to talk to her."
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" he asks. "She may think I'm putting you up to it."
"Everyone we've told has understood."
"We've only told friends who know the real me," he says. "She's just some random Dauntless member who obviously believes that Four is who I am all the time."
"I understand your point," I sigh. "I won't confront her but if things get out of hand, I will go see her."
"We should get to bed, love," he says.
"Can I get that massage before we turn in?" I ask.
"Of course." He stands up and sweeps me up into his arms. "Hold tight." I wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder. "How are you doing? I made sure not to get too carried away. I didn't want things to get worse for you."
"I noticed," I say as I caress his cheek.
"I didn't want to hurt you, Tris, but I just couldn't say no," he says. "One of these days I'm going to have to learn but I'm not sure I know how."
"I don't think that's necessary," I giggle as I kiss his neck. "You always give me what I want."
"But not necessarily what you need," he grumbles. I glide my tongue up to his ear and his grumble turns to a groan. "Tris, are you trying to distract me?"
"Is it working, baby?" I ask, getting my second wind. He lies me down on our bed, and I hold him tightly when I feel him try to move away from me.
"Maybe but I thought you wanted a massage," he says. I draw his lips to mine and kiss him deeply. When I push on his chest, he rolls us over.
"What massage?" I roughly murmur as I start kissing my way down his chiseled chest.
