I roll over, reach my arm out and, unfortunately, hit cold, empty sheets instead of my warm husband. I raise my head and see that it's just before 3 a.m., and I can't help but wonder where Tobias is. I was wanting to snuggle. Before I search for my missing husband I need to take care of some urgent business. I slowly roll out of bed and shuffle to the bathroom. I bump into the doorway and momentarily wonder if there will be another bruise later. I rub the spot on my hip in an effort to ease the sting but it doesn't really help. When the throbbing subsides, I lower my sleep shorts and yawn as I sit down on the toilet and plunge straight into freezing water. I bounce right back up and, frustrated, I scream … at the top of my lungs. I don't know where Tobias was but mere seconds later he comes running through the door. He hits the switch on the wall, and I blink back against the assault of soft white light now flooding the room. Once I can see, I fix an exasperated glare on him and notice that he's white as a sheet.

"What's wrong, love?" he anxiously asks, panting forcefully. He's franticly looking around, his eyes wide with fear and confusion.

"I just sat in the freaking toilet, Tobias!" I say as I point at the porcelain offender, the seat up, laughing at me. "If I wasn't awake before I sure as hell am now." He closes his beautiful eyes, sucks in a deep breath, then looks back at me, this time irritated.

"You scared the hell out of me. I thought something was really wrong." I cross my arms over my chest, narrow my eyes, and impatiently tap my foot.

"You think your wife falling into freezing water in the middle of the night is no big deal?" Each word gets louder until I'm nearly shrieking at him. I don't know if I'm about to bawl or blow my top. Remorse immediately changes his features, and he holds both hands out in front of him like he's approaching a wounded, wild animal. He pulls me into his arms and wraps me in his loving embrace. I lock my fingers at the small of his back and hug him fiercely. "I'm sorry I scared you," I mutter with a groan. I know I probably overreacted but there's something about sitting in the toilet that secretly makes me want to dump toilet water on his head in the middle of the night while he's sleeping. I release him and pull my shorts back up. Apparently, the cold water scared my bladder and I no longer have to pee. "But seriously, baby, how freaking hard is it to put the damn toilet seat down? I don't think I'm asking too much here. If I am, tell me, okay?" He hangs his head.

"No. You're absolutely right. I know how much it upsets you, and I shouldn't be the one causing you extra stress, especially now," he says. "I always try my best to take care of you but constantly disregarding your wishes when it comes to this one issue isn't helpful. I'm truly sorry, Tris. I honestly don't know why I keep doing it."

"I'm sorry if I'm a bitch. I don't mean to harp but it's frustrating."

"Hey, you are not a bitch," he forcefully says. "I don't want to hear you speak that way about yourself."

"Button and Bean are making me twice as moody as I usually am," I mutter, pouting. I squeeze my eyes shut in an effort to keep the unwelcome, irrational tears that are forming at bay. I'm a frickin' mess.

"I can't say I've missed your mood swings," he says.

"I know. I haven't missed them either," I say. "The worst part is, I know I'm being completely irrational but I literally can't help myself. It's like I've totally lost control of my mouth, and we have seven to eight more months of this to look forward to … at least." He reaches out and cups my face between his strong hands.

"The second trimester will be here before we know it, and your hormones will level out." He leans down and gives me a tender kiss. I groan when he pulls away.

"I hope so." I worry my bottom lip between my teeth as I think about that. He reaches up and frees it.

"What's on your mind, love?"

"We don't know how different this pregnancy is going to be from the first one," I say.

"You're right, we don't. We'll just have to adapt."

"So, you're all right with me jumping down your throat every time you leave the toilet seat up?"

"I guess I'll have to be unless I can figure out a way to remember to put the damn thing down," he says. "I don't want you planning my death again. I have to admit that scared me a little last time."

"This time I've been thinking about dumping toilet water on your head while you're sleeping." I grin up at him and he shakes his head but he can't hide his amusement. I wonder how amusing he would find it if I followed through on my threat?

"I love you," he says, "but I would appreciate it if you never did that."

"We'll see."

"Let's go to bed," he says. He puts his hand on the small of my back and tries to steer me toward our bedroom.

"You go. I have to take a quick shower." He looks at me, perplexed. "I need to get the toilet water off my butt, thank you very much."

"I'll join you," he says as he whips his shirt off over his head. I just now notice that he's still dressed.

"You don't have to do that," I say as I take my pajamas off. "Where have you been?"

"I want to, and I told you I had work to do," he says as he drops his t-shirt in the hamper and moves to take off his pants.

"Baby, it's 3 in the morning," I say. "Is work really that important?"

"Yes, actually it is," he says. "I'll admit, though, that I got on a roll and lost track of time." I gather my hair on the top of my head and secure it with a clip. I step into the shower with Tobias right behind me and turn on only the body jets, not wanting to get my hair wet. I find the perfect temperature and pick up my body wash.

"Would you like to do the honors, baby?" I ask.

"I would love to." He givens me a tender kiss then takes the bottle from me and pours a small amount of the delicious-smelling liquid soap into the palm of his hand. "Turn around, love," he murmurs and I immediately do as he asks, being mindful of my steps. After creating a thick, rich, moisturizing lather, he rests his hands on my shoulders and gently starts to massage the soap into my skin, loosening my tight muscles. I didn't even know I was tense. I let my head hang forward with a sigh as he unhurriedly works his way down my back, the calloused pads of his fingertips gently kneading the flesh. He tenderly runs his big hands over the taut flesh of my behind and gives me a playful little squeeze. I can't help the moan of desire that slips from my parted lips. He unexpectedly slides his fingers between my cheeks and over my puckered hole with a light pressure causing me to tense back up and my heart to hammer. He's never touched me there before. "Have you ever thought of having me here?" His voice is soft and smooth like silk up against my ear. Holy shit! Is he asking me what I think he is?

"Um," I squeak, my voice betraying my nervousness. He moves his hands and slowly turns me so the cascading water can rinse my back. He raises one hand to gently tilt my chin up, and he searches my eyes for a long moment.

"I scared you," he states. "That certainly wasn't my intension. I'm sorry."

"I'm not scared … just," I search my brain for exactly how I'm feeling, "surprised. Is this something you would like?"

"I guess I'm just…" His voice trails off as his cheeks flood with color.

"Curious?" I whisper, barely louder than the shower, finishing his thought. He nods.

"I'll be honest, love, I am curious. Is that something you might be interested in?" I drop my eyes, shying away from his intense, penetrating gaze.

"I don't know," I whisper.

"Have you ever thought about it?" I don't know if I'm cherry red or deathly pale right now but this is one conversation I never dreamed we would have. I open my mouth to answer him but I quickly realize I don't know what to say, and I close it. I try again but the same thing happens. I imagine I look something like a fish out of water searching for air. "Never mind, love." He caresses my face and runs his fingers into my hair. My eyes dart up to his, and I swear I see disappointment but he would never admit to it. "Forget I said anything. Let's just go back to bed. Morning will be here before we know it."

I don't say anything as he shuts off the water. I want to talk to him but my mind is too busy spinning a million miles an hour to think straight let alone make any coherent sense. He retrieves a couple towels off the warmer and hands one to me. We quickly dry off and step out into the air-conditioned bathroom and goosebumps erupt on my arms. I put my PJs back on after relieving myself then head into the nursery to check on my girls. Thinking I might find one or both of them awake because of my earlier outburst, I'm thankful they're both still sound asleep in the middle of their cribs. I softly kiss Tessa and Teagan then make my way to the bedroom. Tobias lifts the sheet, and I slip into bed beside him. I roll onto my side and tense up when he wraps his arm around me, pulling me against his chest. The second I do it, I hate myself.

"I screwed up, didn't I?" he murmurs against my ear. I don't want him to think that. I slowly roll in his arms and rest my head on his pillow and gaze at him.

"You didn't screw up," I say. "Please don't think that way."

"I shouldn't have said anything." He rolls onto his back with a heavy sigh and runs his hand through his already messy tresses. I snuggle in close to his side, toss my leg over his, and rest my head in the crook of his arm. I run my fingers across his washboard abs searching for the right words.

"I don't ever want you to be afraid to ask for what you want. I need you to be happy and fulfilled in every aspect of our life just like you always take care of me. Is … that really something you want to try?" I ask, my heart rate accelerating as my nerves get the best of me. I can't even bring myself to say the words out loud.

"Only if you want to," he says. "We obviously don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with."

"I know. You'd never make me do anything I didn't want to do." We silently lie in each other's arms both staring at the ceiling for a long time.

"I feel like there's something you want to say but you're either embarrassed or scared," he finally says. "Please talk to me, love. I don't want this to become an issue."

"I should be able to say anything to you but I'm not exactly sure how to say this."

"You don't want to. That's fine," he says. Although he's doing a good job of hiding it, I can hear his disappointment. This is something he really wants. I wonder if I could give it to him.

"Please don't put words in my mouth," I softly say. "That's not where I was going with that comment." He turns his head and stares at me but I can't bring myself to look at him if I'm going to talk about this, so I turn my back to him.

"Tris."

"Hold me, Tobias," I say. He rolls up behind me and molds his body to mine. He drapes his arm and leg over mine, cocooning me in his loving embrace. It should feel suffocating but it only feels loving and safe. "The thought of anal sex scares me." He raises his arm and starts running his fingers through my tangled hair.

"I would never intentionally hurt you."

"I know you wouldn't," I whisper. "There's something you don't know. I didn't tense because of where you were touching me, although I was surprised you were touching me there, I tensed because … you're not the first person to touch me there and it took me back to that day." Tears well up in my eyes thinking about that night in the training room or maybe it's because Tobias' entire body goes rigid behind me.

"What are you saying?" he quietly asks. His voice may be barely audible but I can hear pain in it.

"He," I can't bring myself to say his name, "tried to put his fingers inside me in the training room. I fought him so hard but he wouldn't stop touching me." I remind myself to take deep steady breaths to stave off a panic attack. Thinking about the attack transports me back to that night. I smell the sweat, dirt, and steel of the training room mixed with his fowl breath. I feel his aggressive, unwanted hands all over my body and the pain of every punch and kick. I hear every single disgusting word he whispered in my ear. "He told me he wanted my ass, and I was so scared, Tobias. I knew he would hurt me and take pleasure in it. I thank God every day for sending Zeke to intervene."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this before?" he asks. His body relaxes, and he starts caressing my hair once again but his voice is gruff with emotion.

"I don't like thinking about that night. As a matter of fact, I don't like thinking about him period. My husband should be able to touch me anywhere he wants without reminding me of another man. It's not fair to you." I lose my battle with the tears and just let them fall. He holds me tightly and if I'm not mistaken, he sheds some of his own. I hate that after all this time that bastard still has the power to reduce me to tears, especially since I've promised myself time after time that I'd never do it again.

"I hate what he did to you."

"What he did to us," I interrupt.

"I hate what he stole from you," he says. "And I hate that my selfishness brought it all back for you and now I'm the one causing you pain." I struggle out of his embrace and sit up.

"What are you talking about?" He sits up and leans against our headboard with a low groan.

"Some insignificant thing I want is causing you pain and distress, love," he says, anguish in his eyes. "I got carried away in the shower and started thinking with my dick instead of my brain."

"You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who never gave you all the specifics of the attack. You can't read my mind," I say and then I add, "Can I think about it?"

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to. Baby, you don't ask for things very often so I know this is something you really want. I can hear the disappointment in your voice, and I don't want to be the cause of it," I say. He opens his mouth to say something but I press my lips to his to quiet him before a word escapes. I climb into his lap as the kiss deepens, our tongues gliding sensually along each other. We only part when we need to breathe. I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him tightly. "I'm glad you asked me." I lean back, not letting my hold on him go and stare into his dilated eyes. "I wish I could say yes right now … you know I'd give you the world … but this is something I need to think about."

"Thank you for thinking about it." He flushes a brighter shade of red, and I know how hard this has been for him. "I just want to experience every part of you."

"I think I might want that to."

"Do you have any idea how much I love you," he gruffly says, the look in his eyes intense.

"Yes, I do," I reply, my words quivering with strong emotion. "You love me as much as I love you." I expect him to kiss me but instead he sighs then presses his lips to my forehead.

"We should at least try to get some sleep," he says.

"You're right." I give him a quick kiss then climb off his lap. We both slide down into bed and spoon. I close my eyes, relishing the feel of his arms around me and try to get some sleep but my mind won't shut off. I keep reliving what happened in the training room. It's been months since I've let it bother me this badly. I take deep breaths in and slowly release them but it doesn't help.

Realizing there's no way I'm going to be able to get back to sleep, I very carefully move Tobias's arm off of me and slip out of bed. I stare at his slumbering form thankful that he's able to get some rest. I take the baby monitor off my nightstand and head downstairs. I trudge into the kitchen in desperate need of coffee. The machine is ready to go; I just need to press the start button. While I wait for the pot to brew, I gaze at the contents of the refrigerator for inspiration. What should I make for breakfast? Nothing grabs my attention so I move on to the cupboards. After staring at the staple goods for at least five minutes an idea hits me. I gather the ingredients and within 30 minutes I have sweet dough rising in a covered bowl in preparation for cinnamon rolls. If I time it right the mouth-watering aroma will wake my family up.

I pour myself a second cup of decaf coffee, pick up the timer, then go into the living room to relax a little. I sit on the loveseat and stretch my legs out in front of me. I gaze out into the dark city. It won't be long before dusk gives way to dawn. I run over today's schedule and realize I might be able to get a nap in before I have to go to the office if I play my cards right. My thoughts soon drifts from work to pleasure, Tobias to be specific and his intriguing and completely terrifying request.

"There you are," comes a gravelly voice from my left, interrupting my reverie and making me jump. I swear my heart stops for a full minute before sprinting.

"Damn!" I say, clutching my chest, trying to calm myself.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to scare you," he says. He picks up my legs, sits down, and puts them in his lap. "What are you doing up? Why aren't you in bed?"

"I couldn't get back to sleep. I tried," I say. "I guess I'm just too keyed up."

"I'm sorry."

"Why don't you go back to bed," I say.

"Only if you come with me."

"I can't. I'm making cinnamon rolls for breakfast," I say.

"Would you like some help?" he asks just as the timer goes off.

"I'd like that." We get up and go into the kitchen. While I roll out the dough, Tobias gathers the butter, sugar, and cinnamon.

"Should we add raisins or pecans?" he asks.

"Let's do pecans this time," I say. "We added raisins last time."

"Okay." I finish rolling out the dough into a nice rectangle. While I clean the rolling pin, Tobias spreads on a generous layer of butter then sprinkles it with the cinnamon, sugar, pecan mixture. "This was definitely a good idea. Are we going to frost them?" I roll the dough then cut them into equal lengths and put them in the greased baking dishes.

"Of course. They wouldn't be cinnamon rolls without frosting." I cover the dishes and set the timer to let them raise then go to the sink to wash my hands. Tobias moves up behind me and kisses my neck.

"I need to apologize to you," he murmurs. "If I hadn't left the toilet seat up, we'd both be asleep right now."

"You're probably right," I say although not unkindly. It's just a fact.

"I think I have a way to make it up to you." He places a smattering of kisses down my neck to my shoulder.

"Yeah, what's that?" I unconsciously tilt my head to give him better access.

"An orgasm." His hot breath on my ear when he whispers makes me shudder. He's being charming and sexy but I start laughing. "What's so funny?" he indignantly asks. I turn around and gaze up at him.

"You want to give me an orgasm every time you leave the toilet seat up?" I flirtatiously ask, running a single finger down the center of his bare chest. "Tell me, does the count start now or would it be retroactive? Because if that were the case, you would owe me about … oh … a thousand orgasms!"

"How about we start with one?" He lifts me onto the island and I squeal in surprise. His lips land on mine with a hungry urgency, quashing my delightful cry as his arms tighten around me and his hands press me up against him. He kisses down my neck and slowly runs his hands up and down my back. My body responds to each caress and kiss. He picks me straight up and I wrap myself around him. He carries me into the living room and collapses on the couch with me in his lap.

"What are you doing?" I moan as one hand finds its way into my sleep shorts.

"I think you know," he chuckles as his fingers search my already moist folds and finds my throbbing nubbin. My mouth dries and my body stiffens as he glides his fingers over the aching bundle of nerves. I close my eyes and drop my head onto his shoulder. My hips start to sway with the rhythm he creates.

"Oh, God!" I moan. "So good." He changes up his touch, slipping a finger inside me and then two. He curves his fingers and glides his thumb over my needy nub then picks up the pace. "Tobias! Oh, God!" He keeps rubbing up against that magic spot inside me and I move in rhythm with his strokes. I clench around his invading digits as a violent explosion starts deep inside and detonates outward, blinding me with a bright white light of pure passion. Once I remember how to breathe, he captures my screams of pleasure as I ride through the intense wave of pleasure. After I'm totally spent, he slows his fingers then withdraws them. "Damn."

"Damn is right," he says. My body feels like I had all my bones removed. "I love when you come for me." I sit in his lap, my senses slowly returning to normal.

"If you do that every time the toilet seat is left up, I might not get so angry with you. As a matter of fact, I might encourage you."

"That's the plan," he says laughing his deep belly laugh I love. He's so happy and relaxed right now. I can feel him beneath me. He's not fully erect but well on his way. I grind myself against him, and he growls as his body reacts to mine.

"I love you," I whisper in his ear.

"I love you, too." I pull his mouth to mine and kiss him passionately. I let our tongues tangle as our bodies rock against each other. I wasn't expecting this but making love with my husband is always welcome. My oversensitive nipples lengthen and harden, and the silky material of my cami is just too much to take. I rip it off over my head and he moans then dips his head and captures a pebbled peak between his moist lips and massages my other breast with a gentle touch. I move my hand between us and stroke him through his cotton sleep pants.

"I want you, Tobias," I moan. "I need you." He moves so fast that one second I'm in his lap and the next I'm beneath him and my sleep shorts are on the floor. I help him push his pajama bottoms down over his hips just enough to free his hard length, and he places himself at my entrance. He roughly kisses me as he slides fully into me with one steady thrust of his powerful hips.

"You feel so good," he murmurs against my lips. He hooks my knees around his elbows and spreads me wide. His phone rings just as he starts to move.

"Ignore it," I pant as our bodies collide and our tongues search each other's mouths. It stops after half a dozen rings only to immediately pick up again. I'm about ready to tell him to ignore it again when someone bangs on the door.

"Sonofabitch!" he growls, pulling out of me and fixing his pants.

"You get the phone; I'll get the door." I put my PJs back on and smooth down my hair as I make my way to the door, and he gets his phone off the charger. By the time he gets to it, it's ringing for the third time.

"What?" he barks into the receiver as I open the door to find Will on the other side, looking … troubled? Yeah, troubled. I look over my shoulder and Tobias is staring at us. "Yeah, he's here."

"What's going on, Will?" I ask. I step out of the way and let him into the apartment.

"There's been a disturbance in the Pit," he says. "I'm afraid I don't know any details. Shauna just called, told me there's an emergency, and to get Four. James has been trying to get ahold of you two."

"We were … busy." I blush and look away.

"Will and I will be there as soon as possible," Tobias says in a huff into the phone. "Hold all parties and any witnesses until I'm there."

"What's going on?" I ask him when he ends the call.

"An altercation in the Pit with injuries and possible casualties." He kisses my temple then sighs. "Apparently Hector and a few other initiates were smack dab in the middle of it."