I don't know how but I'm 100% confident that I'm dreaming. I'm being violently tossed around in the swells of a large, angry body of water like an insignificant rag doll. Just before another wave crashes down on me, I see Tobias' and my beloved lighthouse in the distance, a bright yellow-tinged light pulsing like a steady heartbeat in the storm-darkened sky. After I struggle to the surface, I gasp in several much-needed breaths and try to swim towards safety before yet another wave rolls over me, pulling me down.

I wake with a start, my upset stomach churning violently. I groan loudly as I roll over and hurriedly climb out of my warm bed. I cover my mouth, breathing as evenly as possible as I run to the bathroom. I hit the switch on the wall and blink back against the soft white light that fills the room as I fall to my knees in front of the toilet just in time to empty the contents of my rolling stomach. I don't know how long I'm kneeling here, retching into the porcelain basin, when Tobias comes in. He immediately squats down beside me and gathers my bed knotted hair in a ponytail at the back of my head to get it out of the way. I'm thankful he's here to help me but I absolutely hate that he has to see me this way. It's embarrassing. Once my stomach totally empties and the dry heaving stops, he helps me to my feet, puts the seat down, and flushes the toilet.

"Are you okay, love?" he asks.

"Honestly, I'm not sure yet," I mutter as I sit down, the room precariously tilting then spinning. I lean over and put my head between my knees and breathe deeply and smoothly. "I just want to sit here."

"Can I get you anything?" he asks as he tenderly runs his hand up and down my back.

"I could use some ginger ale," I murmur, my voice muffled by my position. Thankfully, it's helping the vertigo but it's not doing a thing for my poor stomach. I hate nausea.

"Okay. I'll get you a glass," he says. "Will you be okay up here by yourself while I go get you some?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I say.

"Okay. I'll be right back." He kisses the top of my head then I hear his soft footsteps leave the room. I stay in the same position until I'm absolutely certain I'm no longer nauseated and the room is no longer spinning then I get up, brush my teeth, and rinse my mouth, twice.

I slowly pad into our bedroom and look at the clock on Tobias' nightstand. I see that our alarm is set to go off in 30 minutes so I switch it off. Ugh! What a way to be woken up. That's definitely a new one. I thought maybe I was going to get off easy this pregnancy with the morning sickness or puke whenever the babies thinks it's funny sickness, whatever you want to call it but the past three days have been horrendous. I can't keep anything down and it seems like I'm always nauseated. I should climb back into bed but it doesn't look nearly as inviting without Tobias in it to keep me company, and I'm wide awake now anyway, so I head toward the door but stop when I hear whimpering through the baby monitor.

I immediately detour into the nursery and find Teags lying in the middle of her crib, quietly keening in her sleep. I lightly run my hand soothingly over her back but it does nothing to quiet her so I pick her up without managing to wake her then I sit down in one of the twin rocking chairs. I gently rock with her, rubbing little circles on her back and she finally stops mewling. I press my lips to her forehead checking for a fever but she's not warm. She must have been dreaming. I wonder what would make her cry like that. My poor baby girl. Maybe she's picking up on the tension her father and I have been under. It's been one hell of a long week.

Shortly after we went to bed Monday night, the doorbell woke me up. Thankfully Tobias hadn't fallen asleep yet, and he was able to make it downstairs before the noise woke the kids up. I managed to slip into my robe despite the over stimulated nature of my body and followed behind him. I honestly wished I wouldn't have. It was Purple-Hair and Snake-Tattoo checking in on us. Just as we thought, several people wanted patrol to do a welfare check on me. I don't know who was more embarrassed when we explained the noises being heard was just sex and not homicide, them or us. With as red as their faces got, I'd bet money it was them. We had to promise to keep it down from now on.

After learning that the bitch was released from the hospital over the weekend, we asked Zeke to assign someone trustworthy to scan the surveillance feeds surrounding the compound for any sign of her. He put Murphy on it, and on three separate occasions, she was seen loitering on Dauntless property, which is a no-no for a factionless person. Although what are you going to do, make them even more factionless? Once she was seen in the little park near Dauntless 2.0 then twice she was seen near the entrance to the garage. Unfortunately, Murphy hasn't found any sign of her on video inside the compound but I'm convinced that when I felt eyes on me last Sunday when we were bringing the kids back from my parents' house she was there watching us. No matter what anyone else thinks, I know she hasn't changed. A leopard can't change its spots.

Tuesday afternoon, we scheduled an appointment with Erudite to have an engineer and architect come Wednesday morning to look at the garage entrance. We've had entirely too many security breaches there. They are drawing up plans for keycard-enabled garage doors to be installed as soon as possible. It's likely some structural changes will have to made to get this done but it's imperative that we close off one of the ways intruders are entering the compound. We were reluctant to enlist Erudite's help in something as sensitive as the security of our faction so I called Caleb and asked for his advice. He understood our hesitance, and he gave me the names of the architect and engineer. We've yet to schedule a follow-up meeting but they promised plans early next week.

For his part in the Pit fight, Hector was assigned to do two hours of maintenance duty in the cafeteria after the supper rush until initiation is over, and Rose, Oliver, Maeve, and Jeremy were each assigned one hour for two weeks for their roles. The five of us felt like we couldn't look the other way this time. That would have given the rest of the initiates as well as all the members of the faction the impression that if you have a personal relationship with a member of leadership you can do as you please and that's just not true. Hector didn't take the news very well but his mother was livid.

We finally sat down with Jessica Thursday afternoon. Tobias and I wanted to speak to her alone to see what we could get out of her but she wouldn't hear of it. She insisted that Shauna be present or she wouldn't cooperate. We finally relented but she didn't exactly cooperate anyway. She didn't have much to say about her husband other than what we already knew, and she insisted she didn't know he was alive, in contact with her son, or coming into the faction. I don't trust her as far as I can throw her and Tobias agrees. But she did unload about what she called "unfair behavior" toward her baby. She doesn't like that Tobias and I put him with the transfers for the remainder of initiation as a learning tool. She doesn't like that transfers are training him, which made me roll my eyes. One half of the Dauntless-born instructor team is a transfer. She doesn't like his choice of new friends even though it was Shauna and Lynn who encouraged him to interact with them. She thinks it's unfair he was given punishment for the fight in the Pit, stating it was the yet unknown victim/assailant who instigated the whole thing. It's still very hard to judge that particular situation since we've yet to find out who Hector fought with. Some call him Hec's victim while others say he was the aggressor and Hector was just defending himself. She also hinted that she doesn't like our leadership abilities but didn't come straight out and say it. I could tell that Shauna was embarrassed by her mother's behavior but if she confronted her it was after they left.

My mind drifts from our hectic, troubled week to Tobias. Between the near constant nausea and the debilitating fatigue, we haven't been together since the hot tub Monday night. At first, I didn't really care because my body was entirely too sensitive to entertain any more intimate activity after the water torture he subjected me to that night but the truth is I miss him and my pregnancy hormones are making me incredibly horny. Stupid screwed up hormones. I've even planned some quality alone time for just the two of us Saturday night ... if I start feeling better that is. It's time for a little payback, and I've thought of a few ways to torture him.

"There you are, beautiful," Tobias quietly says, interrupting my reverie. He certainly knows how to put a smile on my face even though I know I'm not the stunning creature he always makes me out to be, especially after he saw me face down in the toilet not a half hour ago, literally heaving my guts out. "I was wondering where you ran off to." He's holding a plate of what looks like toast in one hand and a tall glass of ginger ale in the other. "Is she okay?"

"I think she was having a bad dream," I say. "I was getting ready to go downstairs when I heard her through the monitor."

"Our poor girl," he says as he sets the plate and glass down on the small table beside me. "Here, let me take her so you can eat." He carefully lifts her off my chest and onto his, and she starts whining again.

"Sshh," he softly murmurs.

"Dadda?"

"Go back to sleep, baby girl," he whispers in her ear while rubbing her back. "I've got you." She sighs then closes her eyes, a smug little grin on her cherubic face knowing that her daddy is holding her. I shake my head at the nearly identical expression Tobias is wearing. It's a good thing my hormones aren't riled up like my stomach at the moment or I'd probably be in tears right now, irrational as they may be. I watch him rock with Teags as I nibble on the cold toast and sip the room temperature ginger ale hoping I can keep it down. Movement across from me catches my attention and I see Tessa rubbing her eyes. I motion to Tobias, point her way then put my finger in front of my lips, signaling him to stay quiet. He nods, letting me know he understands. I practically hold my breath hoping she'll go back to sleep. It's too early for any of the kids to be up. Unfortunately, she sits up and when she sees Tobias and me sitting here, she grins widely.

"Out, Mama," she says. She stands up by the railing and holds her arms out to me.

"Okay," I softly say as I get up. "I need you to be quiet so sissy doesn't wake up. She was having a bad dream."

"Otay," she whispers somewhat on the loud side but at least she's trying. I lift her out of her crib and sit back down. We gently rock and she snuggles closer to me. After a few minutes, she raises her hand and waves at Tobias who is making funny faces at her.

"Good morning, Pebbles."

"Hi, Dadda," she says with a giggle. "I gotsta potty, Mama."

"Okay." I let her off my lap and she runs towards the bathroom.

"Oh, to have that much energy first thing in the morning," Tobias chuckles. I follow after her into the bathroom and find her already sitting on the potty chair.

"Good job, little one," I say as I squat down in front of her. "You're doing such a good job. You haven't had one accident since we got you the big girl panties." She beams at the praise.

"I big giwl," she says.

"You sure are, my sweet girl," I say. After making sure she's done, I clean her up then pull up her pajama bottoms. Suddenly, a wave of heat rolls over my body and my stomach twists. I slowly breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth as yet another wave of nausea crashes over me then I stumble onto my knees causing Tessa to jump back.

"Mama you otay? Mama?" I hear her fear and feel her worried eyes but can't answer as moisture floods my throat. I know what's coming next so I quickly scamper across the floor to the toilet. "Dadda, Dadda, Dadda," Tessa screams as she runs out of the room. I hear shuffling and urgent utterances as I tightly grip the porcelain bowl and let loose the toast and ginger ale. For the second time this morning, Tobias rushes into the room and kneels down beside me to hold my hair back. After I'm totally exhausted and the queasy urge passes, I lean up against the tub. It just seems closer, although in reality it probably isn't.

"Are you okay, Tris?" Tobias asks. He wets a washcloth then hands it to me.

"I will be," I murmur as I wipe my mouth.

"I should take you to the infirmary," he worriedly says.

"I don't think that's necessary, Tobias. It's just morning sickness," I sigh. "I'm feeling better now."

"I'm so sorry, love. I hate seeing you this way, and I have to admit, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. I'm sure it's completely normal under the circumstances."

"I know," he says as he rubs my not quite so flat belly. I stood in front of the mirror yesterday morning while Tobias was in the shower, studying it from every angle. I don't think it will be long before I'm showing and then we won't be able to keep it a secret. I see Tessa and Teags poke their heads into the room, matching fretful looks on their little faces.

"It's okay, girls," I say. "You don't have to be scared."

"Mama sick," Tessa says looking at Teags. I notice they're holding hands and I swear my heart nearly stops. I don't want my kids unnecessarily worrying about me, too.

"You're right. We should stop by the infirmary and talk to Zander or Isobel just to be on the safe side," I say. "I still think you're needlessly worrying but if talking to someone makes you feel better, I'll do it."

"I'd appreciate it," he says. "How about we stop by the infirmary before we go to the training room."

"Okay."

Tobias helps me to my feet then ushers the girls into the nursery to get ready for the day. When I'm feeling better, I take a quick shower and get myself ready for another long day. After towel drying and running a wide tooth comb through my tangled tresses, I go into the closet and put on a pair of dark gray yoga pants, a black and gray scoop neck top, and a pair of black and gray running shoes.

I go back into the bathroom and stare in the mirror for a while trying to figure out something to do with my hair but I'm startled by my overall appearance. Tobias carried me up to bed last night at a little before 8 p.m. after I fell asleep on the couch and I slept until nearly 6 a.m., and I look like I haven't slept 10 minutes let alone 10 hours. My eyes appear slightly sunken in. There are pronounced dark circles beneath. My cheeks are gaunt.

"I look like hell," I mutter. I decide to braid my hair then I work a little longer applying my makeup to bring a little life back into my face.

"Hi, Mommy," Tyler brightly says. "Daddy says breakfast is ready. He made oatmeal."

"Okay, buddy."

"Tess says you sick," he says. "Are you better?"

"I do feel better," I say. I squat down in front of him and give him a big hug.

"I glad you feel better," he says. "I don't like it when you sick."

"Thank you," I say. "I don't like being sick either." I get up and he takes my hand and leads me downstairs like a little gentleman.

"I bringed her like you say, Daddy," he says when we reach the dining room.

"Thank you, buddy."

"Mama, you otay?" Tessa asks, her eyes wide.

"You 'kay," Teags apes.

"I'm much better but I'm not sure I can eat, Tobias."

"Will you please try to eat just a little, for me?" he asks as he puts bowls in front of the kids then heads back into the kitchen for ours.

"I'll try." I pick at the oatmeal, not wanting the nausea to return, although I know it will come whether I have food in my stomach or not if it wants to.

"Are you staying home with us, Mommy?" Tyler asks when breakfast is almost over.

"No, buddy. Mommy has to work today but I'm staying home with you guys tomorrow." Tobias and I have to evaluate the initiates today. It's introduction to knife throwing and we usually are there to demonstrate the correct form as the instructors give the initiates detailed directions.

"But you sick," he says. "I stay home when I sick."

"Well I'm not sick like when you get sick," I say. All three kids furrow their brows at me. "The babies are making me sick." I immediately know that I shouldn't have put it that way by the identical stunned look on their faces.

"Bad bebes," Teags forcefully says.

"I no like babies no mo," Tessa pouts, her little arms crossing her chest.

"Why do they want to make you sick?" Tyler asks, looking very sad.

"Oh guys. That's not what I meant," I say. "Because I have the babies in my tummy, my body isn't working like it normally does. I might get upset or cry for no reason."

"Your Mommy gets really tired now," Tobias says. "And she might get crazy cravings like chocolate and tapioca pudding mixed together." He shudders remembering the concoction I dreamed up when I was pregnant with Teags.

"I remember that," Tyler says. "It wasn't very good."

"I bemember, too," Tessa says.

"Nuh uh!" Tyler says.

"Tyler," I scold causing him to frown then turn my attention to Tessa. "You were too little to remember." I reach out and tickle her belly. "You didn't even have any teeth." She squeals and laughs loudly. "So, it's not the babies' fault I get sick sometimes. It's just the way it is."

"I sowwy," Tessa says and Teags says, "Yeah!"

"We all sorry, Mommy," Tyler says. "We love the babies again." The girls nod in agreement.

"Of course, you do," I say. "I wasn't worried about that." The doorbell interrupts and the kids start to leave the table but I keep them sitting while Tobias lets Bridget in.

"Good morning, Tris," she says as she comes into the dining room. "Good morning, children."

"Hi, Bridget," I say.

"Tris and I will be leaving early this morning," Tobias says. "Will you clean up the kitchen for me?"

"I can do that while you get ready," I say.

"I want you to rest, love. Please," he says then he looks at Bridget who doesn't know I'm pregnant again. "I'm taking Tris to the infirmary. She's not feeling very well."

"Morning sickness?" she sheepishly asks. "I know I'm not supposed to know your news but the girls let it slip earlier this week."

"I sowwy, Mama," Tessa says. "I fowgetted."

"It's all right, little one," I say. "Come give Mommy a hug." She jumps down off her chair, and I lift her into my arms. "I love you. You be good today."

"I will." She gives me a sloppy oatmeal-covered kiss then wiggles in my lap.

"Let me wash your face," I say. She obliges then I set her on her feet. She runs into the sunroom and gets her box of dolls off the shelf. I watch as Teags struggles to get down from the chair, and right before I go to help, she makes it to the floor herself with a triumphant grin.

"Up." She raises her little arms and I pick her up straight into a hug. "Lub 'ou, Mama."

"Love you, too," I say.

"Down," she says and I comply with her demand after washing her face. She immediately joins Tessa in the other room.

"Are you sure you're okay, Mommy?" Tyler worriedly asks.

"I'm fine, buddy," I say. "Come here." He hurries over and I pull him into my lap. "Don't worry about me. It's my job to worry about you not the other way around." He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"I love you, Mommy. It scares me when you sick. I don't want you to go nowhere."

"I'm not going anywhere, my sweet boy," I say. "I promise." I know it's a lofty promise to make but I won't be a source of tension for my babies.

"You ready to go?" Tobias asks. I look up to find him descending the stairs in a pair of black boxing pants, which are hanging off his hips in a scandalous way, a dark gray sleeveless fitted t-shirt, and black and gray running shoes that match mine. The bulge of his biceps and triceps makes my mouth water and I forget that he asked me something. "Love?"

"Hhm?" My eyes meet his and he smirks.

"You ready to go?"

"Oh, yeah," I say. "You be good, buddy. Have fun with Tessa and Teags and listen to Bridget."

"I can't wait for a baby brother," he mutters under his breath. Apparently, his sisters are grating on is nerves like siblings often do. I know Caleb rubbed me the wrong way from time to time growing up. He sighs then says, "Okay, Mommy. I'll miss you today. Will you come home for lunch?" he asks hopefully.

"No, I'm afraid not," I say. "Mommy and Daddy have business near the Pit before and after lunch so we're going to eat in the cafeteria. We'll be home around regular time tonight for supper."

"Can we go to the park?" he asks.

"Yeah!" Teags says as she comes running into the room with Tessa on her heels.

"Peas!" she says.

"We don't have a problem with you going down the street to the park if Bridget wants to take you," Tobias says. As the kids celebrate their good fortune, Tobias pulls Bridget aside and quietly talks to her.

"Give Mommy hugs and kisses," I say as I kneel down. The kids descend on me at the same time, nearly knocking me off balance, and wrap their arms around various body parts. I'm thoroughly kissed and hugged then Tobias leads me out into the hallway after his own goodbyes.

"I didn't think they were ever going to let us leave," Tobias says.

"They didn't want us to go," I say.

"You mean they didn't want you to go," he says.

"No, they wanted us both to stay home with them," I say. "I'm glad we have Bridget, and they love her, but they miss us when we're at work." To get my mind off missing the kids I ask, "So what did you talk to Bridget about?"

"I told her that if she was going to take the kids to the park to let me know and I would have Simon or Tony assign someone trustworthy to accompany them. I trust Bridget wholeheartedly but with Olivia on the loose I want to err on the side of caution. I doubt she would make a move on the kids but I won't chance it."

"That's good thinking," I say as I pull my phone out of my pocket.

"Who are you calling?"

"I'm sending a message to Ana and Brody to let them know we'll more than likely be late to the training room."

"I already did that," he says as I hit the send button.

"Oh well. I guess we told them twice," I say with a chuckle.

"I should have said something to you," he says. "I didn't think about it."

"That's okay," I say as we walk into the infirmary."

"Hello," Tobias says to the unfamiliar looking nurse behind the intake desk. We need to find more Dauntless help. "Is Dr. Parrish or Isobel Michaels available? Tris and I would like to discuss something with one of them."

"Is this an emergency?" she politely asks with a grandmotherly smile on her round face.

"Um, I don't think it's an emergency," I say.

"I'll page Isobel for you," she says. "Dr. Parrish is in a meeting and doesn't want to be disturbed unless there's an emergency."

"That's fine," Tobias says.

"If you would take a seat against the wall, Isobel will be right with you," she says.

"Okay," I say. She picks up her phone and enters a series of numbers then sets it back down. Within two minutes, Isobel comes out into the waiting room.

"Hi, guys," she says when she sees us sitting here. "Did you have me paged?"

"Yes, we did," Tobias says. "Can we talk in an exam room?" There aren't many people around but all eyes are on us, and we don't want more rumors and gossip spread about us.

"Sure," she says. "Follow me." She leads us into the closest empty examination room and closes the door behind us. "What can I do for you?"

"You may know this but in case you don't, I'm pregnant," I say. When her face lights up, I realize she's hearing our news for the first time.

"Congratulations! I'm so happy for you."

"I found some additional bruising, and we came to see Zander," I say. "Four and I were really worried something terrible was wrong with me."

"Anemia?" she asks.

"Yes. But our big surprise is that I'm nine weeks pregnant with twins."

"Holy shit!" she squeals then her face turns tomato red. "I'm so sorry. I guess I'm really surprised. What happened with the IUD?" I explain everything that Zander told us. "It happens. So, what can I help you with today?"

"I already had a lot of symptoms before we received the news including morning sickness but it's out of control, Isobel. I haven't been able to keep anything down for days. I don't think it's anything serious but I promised Four I would get checked out. With the possible preeclampsia and multiple pregnancy, we know there is the possibility of complications."

"There is a severe form of morning sickness known as hyperemesis gravidarum," she says. "Can you tell me how you are feeling?"

"Let's see. I've been excessively tired. I'm nauseated most of the time. Nothing stays down. I've been getting headaches."

"That sounds about right," she says. "Has there been any blood in your vomit?"

"No."

"Any confusion, rapid heart rate, decreased urination, fainting or dizziness?"

"Yes, dizziness," I say.

"Do you think you've lost any weight?"

"I wouldn't be surprised since I'm not keeping anything down but I can't say yes for sure."

"Okay," she says. "Let's do a physical exam then I'll see what I can do to help you feel better." I nearly break out in a happy dance when Isobel tells me I don't have to change into a hospital gown for the quick exam. I give her a urine sample after she draws a couple vials of blood then she weighs me. She pinches both arms a few times then takes my blood pressure and pulse. "How are you sleeping?" she asks as she looks deeply into my eyes and palates up and down my neck.

"She sleeps like the dead," Tobias says, "which is unusual for her. She's usually all over the bed but the last few nights she lands in one place and stays there until morning."

"I think it's a refreshing sleep though," I say. "I don't wake up tired anyway."

"That's good," she says. "You're not dehydrated but you're definitely on the cusp, and you've lost four pounds since Monday's visit. Does liquid cause nausea also?"

"Not always," I say. "But anything solid has been coming back up within 30 minutes of finishing, even though I've been eating bland stuff."

"I'm going to give you something for the nausea so you can get some food and drink in you," she says. She writes orders on a prescription pad then tears it off and gives it to me. "I'm glad you came in this morning, Tris. If you would have waited much longer you would have had to be admitted for IV nausea medication and fluids." I glance at Tobias and see the smug smirk on his face.

"He's never going to let me live this down," I say. "I didn't really want to come but I promised him."

"Don't you know that you should never doubt me," he says and I roll my eyes at him.

"When you get the prescription, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get some water or ginger ale and carry it with you," she says. "Take small amounts at regular intervals."

"Should she be working or would it be best to rest at home?" Tobias asks.

"What do you have planned today?"

"We are evaluating the initiates during their first day of knife throwing," I say.

"Is there a place to sit down?"

"I can get a chair brought in," he says.

"Then I don't see a problem with her working," she says. "If your symptoms continue as is or they get worse come back on Monday. If you get to feeling better there's no need to return."

"I have to come in Monday for blood pressure check anyway so I'll be here," I say. "By the way, Zander has taken over my primary care since it's a higher risk pregnancy."

"I completely understand," she says. "I had a nurse practitioner with Clary but I had an OB when I had the twins so I totally understand. It's better to be safe than sorry but if you ever have any questions about twins you can ask me."

"I appreciate that, Isobel. I was worried you would be upset but I should have known better. We're friends first."

"That we are."

"We better get your prescription so we can get to the training room," Tobias says. "Thanks for everything, Isobel. We truly appreciate it."

"Anytime," she says. "And congratulations again."