Note: This chapter is a little Ed-centric. I'm fascinated with Tucker's backstory and context, which the show robbed us of. And to truly set up the twists and turns I have planned for this story, we need to really get to know the character. So. Enjoy this particular angle into our favorite, blue-eyed IAB Captain.

Chapter 9

Ed shifted uncomfortably. He took a sip of his coffee and looked out over the bright, open living area of his ex-wife's Los Angeles home. There was a large, full Christmas tree centered in front of floor to ceiling windows. Beautifully wrapped gifts sat untouched around the tree as the sun began to rise and allow light to filter in, adding to the colorful hue the tree lights produced. He thought back to previous years when his kids were younger. They would wake up before their parents and bound down the hallway, waking Ed up who was asleep on the couch and then going to get their mother. Wrapping paper and ribbon would fly through the air, creating giggles and no room or time for any kind of awkward encounter between Ed and Suzanne. The day would always filter through their children, allowing for a comfortable holiday before Ed would depart after a late breakfast. Ed found himself smiling, thinking about how boisterous both Emma and Nate would get after opening their one big present each year. His favorite memory was from years ago. Emma was eight and Nate was ten. They all still lived in New York, and though not financially struggling, money was tight as each parent worked to afford separate apartments large enough for their two young kids to bounce back and forth. Debating on what to get them that year, Ed had stumbled upon an old, Victorian doll house. It was run down, but seemingly in stable, good condition. He purchased it and got to work fixing it up. He'd occasionally enlist his ex wife's opinion on different coloring, etc. He even figured out how to wire it so the doll house had working lights. His smile grew as he remembered Emma running down the hallway and setting her eyes on that dollhouse. She barely even looked at another present that day. Nate had received a bigger bicycle as his larger present that year, which meant the parents took turns either being outside with Nate riding in the cold, or inside with Emma who insisted on at least one other person to help create her imaginary dollhouse world.

Now, however, as the kids were older, they no longer woke up early and there was not the typical larger, unwrapped present to the side of the tree. Both parents now had higher financial means, but they never went overboard. This year presents were more practical, things for Nate's college dorm, higher end clothes and electronics for Emma as she hurdled towards the end of her eleventh grade year, and money. Though Ed, one who liked to keep tradition, wrapped up some larger bills in several different boxes of varying sizes. He smirked as he envisioned the eye rolls he would receive once his teenaged children decided to wake up and come downstairs.

"Coffee smells good." Ed startled out of his thoughts and turned around to see his ex-wife make her way into the kitchen to fix her morning drink. "Thanks for making it."

"No problem," he said.

"Sleep okay in the guest bedroom?"

"I did," he allowed, not letting on that he had tossed and turned most of the night, checking in often with Olivia who didn't seem to be sleeping any more than he was. "I wake up earlier and earlier as I get older."

Suzanne let out a soft laugh and came around the large island to stand next to him, looking at the tree. "And our kids sleep later and later…"

Ed grunted. Gone were the days of the kids waking up before them, alleviating the forced time of small talk between two people who had been separated for many years. There were times when Ed wondered if this tradition should end, given the kids were older. But he and Suzanne mutually decided to keep it going until Emma graduated high school, at which point the kids would be old enough to decide on their own what to do, and their parents could finally free themselves of the forced holiday together.

"Emma mentioned you were seeing someone," Suzanne said softly. Her tone was not negative, but more inquisitive. "Olivia?"

"Yeah," Ed allowed. "'Bout six months now, officially."

"Longer than that, unofficially?" Suzanne was teasing, clearly trying to make the morning as easy as possible, which Ed appreciated, but he was reluctant to give away too much information about his relationship with Olivia.

"Somethin' like that," he said. "I've known her for a long time, though not always in a friendly way."

Suzanne laughed. "I can see that."

"Thanks," he grumbled good-naturedly, well aware of the fact that he had gone through many years of being hard and tough.

"She okay that you're here?"

"Of course," Ed replied.

"Emma showed me pictures of Noah," she continued, clearly not letting the subject drop. "He's adorable. Foster son?"

"For now. Hopefully dropping the foster part," Ed replied before turning the topic around. "You?"

"Ah, I've had one here or there," she said whimsically.

"Chris?" Ed asked, uninterested in his ex's relationships as she had many flings over the years, including one that had ultimately ended their marriage, but Chris was a name both Emma and Nate had mentioned a few times over the last couple of years.

"On and off. He'll stop by this afternoon, once we finish up here."

Ed nodded, done with the conversation, and checked his watch. "Imma go wake them up," he mumbled, setting his coffee down and wandering up the stairs.


Olivia finished shoving the last of the Santa themed wrapping paper into a garbage bag, sealed it, and left it in the foyer so she could take it down to the shute later that afternoon. Her and Noah had a perfect morning. She had let him sleep in the bed with her, curled up in her chest, and he had woken her up around six that morning by gently pawing at her face. When Olivia opened her eyes, she was nose to nose with a smiling, wide awake Noah. She snuggled him for a few minutes before giving him a fresh diaper, washing her face, and holding his hands, helping him walk slowly and crookedly out into the living room.

Olivia enjoyed every last minute of Noah's curious face as he looked at the presents, his slack jaw as he eyed the sparkle of the tree lights, and his giggles as he tried out each new toy he received. Having not paid much attention to the boxes she had unloaded from the closet and arranged under the tree the night before, Olivia did not notice that there were two additional, unfamiliar presents until Noah had opened the last of his.

"What…" she mumbled, trying to figure out what toys the little boy hadn't opened yet, but could think of none. Noah reached under the tree, trying to get to the shiny red packages. They had a sparkly silver ribbon and bow, and once pulled closer, Olivia noticed they were addressed to her; one from Noah and one from Ed. Her heart soared and she bit her lip as she pulled Noah into her lap. "Wanna help me open these, Noah? One is from you!"

"Bababa," Noah mumbled as he put his hands on Olivia's and they unwrapped the first present, marked from Noah. Inside was a gorgeous, silver 8x10 picture frame with one of Olivia's favorite photos of her and Noah. She had taken him to the park with Ed a few months back, and he had unknowingly snapped a picture when Noah had adorably moved to place a slobbery kiss on her nose. On the bottom of the frame was engraved "Our First Christmas" with the date.

Trying not to cry, Olivia smothered Noah's cheeks with kisses. "Thank you, sweet boy. This was so sweet," she cooed, knowing he really had no idea. "Did you get this with Ed?"

At the mention of Ed's name, Noah sat up and looked around, assuming he was there. Olivia let out a chuckle and distracted him with opening the next present, the one from Ed. She took a deep breath as they unwrapped what she assumed to be a necklace box. Noah sat back into her chest and watched as she slowly opened the velvet box.

"Oh my…" she whispered, burying her nose in Noah's hair as a few tears escaped. Inside the box was a delicate gold necklace with Noah's name in small script. Olivia imagined from far away, no one would notice her necklace had a name. It was simple, discreet, and elegant. Exactly what she would have picked out herself, if given the option.

Not wanting to interrupt Ed's morning with his kids, but unable to wait until later that evening to thank him, she snapped a quick picture of the necklace along with a selfie of Noah smiling in her lap, and shot him a quick text. Noah quickly lost interest in the jewelry and frame and crawled out of Olivia's lap and back to his toys. She placed the frame on the console, next to her television for the moment, and moved to put the necklace on despite still being in pajamas. Leaning back against the couch, she smiled and watched Noah play, his eyes sparkling, and allowed a deep sense of gratefulness to wash over her.


Ed, Nate, and Emma had just wandered back into their Venice Beach condo. The Christmas night sunset had been full of purple and pink hues, and after spending an hour surfing the waves, or in Ed and Emma's case, attempting to surf the waves, the trio trudged back and watched the sun fall below the water line from their balcony.

After living in California for several years, Nate had become an expert surfer. He had immediately taken to the sport, made a few good buddies, and before long he was spending every weekend on one of the many surfing beaches near Los Angeles. Emma, a naturally coordinated and athletic girl, had a harder time learning the skill. Nate was a patient teacher, but Emma wasn't nearly as passionate about learning. However, that didn't stop Nate from taking Emma and Ed out into the waves every chance he got. Ed, despite pushing fifty and only practicing once or twice a year, was surprisingly decent on a surf board. He had splurged and bought all three of them wet suits for Christmas last year, so once they left Suzanne's and checked into their place, the three Tuckers set off for the sand and Nate began to re-teach them how to balance.

After a few good wipe outs, Nate and Ed each caught a few good waves to ride. Emma, tired of hitting the water hard on a fall, drug herself and her board to the shore and watched the guys, cheering them on and videoing a few wipe outs.

"What's Olivia's number, Dad?" Emma was editing on her phone as they lounged, freshly showered, on the condo in the evening dusk. "She needs to see this wipe out."

Ed eyed his daughter out of the corner of his eye. "Ya can't send her a good one before mocking me?"

"No."

Fidgeting a bit, Ed dug around for his phone and shot off a quick text to Olivia, clearing his handing her number to his daughter. Despite communicating regularly the last couple of days, Ed was still stewing over the tension left between the two of them. He was kicking himself for leaving with that still in the air, but Ed had been left with no choice and deep down he knew that Olivia understood. Scratching the back of his head, he waited for her reply and hoped Emma wouldn't push.

"Dad?"

Both kids had been eyeing him, seeing his mind wander briefly. Nate was the one who called him on it.

"Everything okay?"

"Oh, yeah, everything's fine," Ed said quickly, waving off the notion of unrest. He placed his phone on the coffee table and leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and eyed both of his kids. "Olivia is a private person. I want to check before handing her number, though I imagine she will be happy you want to send her embarrassing videos."

Emma took a sip of her soda and stretched her legs onto the railing of the balcony. "I would be private too if I had to deal with that pyscho," she mumbled.

"Emma!" Nate scolded, his eyes wide. Both kids had googled their dad's girlfriend and stumbled upon article after article of her ordeal with William Lewis, but they had come to a mutual agreement never to bring it up. Emma, typically a vault when it came to this kind of stuff, threw her head back in anger at herself for letting the comment slip.

"Sorry, dad," she mumbled. "I shouldn't have brought it up…"

Ed went to reply, but his phone buzzed. He smiled softly at Olivia's used of the "wink" emoji and he then shared her contact information with both Nate and Emma. "There," he muttered good-naturedly. "Knock yourself out."

Emma smiled, saved the number, and scrolled through to carefully select the videos and pictures to send to Olivia. She included a quick text of "He'll be glad to get back home to you. We are torturing him." Emma hit send, waited for it to go through, the put her phone on the arm of the chair before turning back to Ed.

"I'm really sorry, dad," she said. "I'm sure you don't wanna think about it. We were just…curious about her. We didn't know…"

"Nah, it's okay," Ed said, rubbing his face and taking a sip of his own soda. "It's not…a secret. It's just…well, not something we typically wanna talk about."

"Is she okay?" Emma's eyes were wide as she asked her question innocently, but Ed sensed a deep meaning behind it. Nate, who had been quiet since admonishing his sister, also leaned forward to listen intently.

"She is," Ed said slowly. "I imagine she will always have…issues…around it. Noah has been a bright spot. I'd like to think I have been a bright spot as well."

"Yeah except you're not very bright," Emma quipped, trying her best to abate the tense topic of conversation and succeeding. Ed tossed a napkin at her playfully. Nate was not as easily assuaged.

"Olivia's really okay you're here? This stuff was…well not all that long ago?"

"She's okay," Ed assured them, playing with the top of his soda can and wanting to end the topic of conversation. "Left with a little tension. But nothing we can't handle."

"Good," Nate said. "We like her."

"So do I, son."


"Captain, Eileen," Olivia said warmly, opening the door and inviting them in. "Such a nice surprise."

Don Cragen hung his coat on the hook in the foyer and helped Eileen with hers before following Olivia into the living room where Noah sitting almost under the tree, playing with a new set of blocks. He had called Olivia a couple hours before, stating that they were in town for a few days and had finished with Eileen's family early. He hinted at wanting to meet Noah, and Olivia jumped at the chance to have him over, especially given Amanda had ended up elsewhere that day.

"I just made some hot chocolate if you want some," she offered before chuckling. "Well, lukewarm chocolate. Noah can't have hot just yet…"

Eileen gave Noah a huge smile. "Lukewarm chocolate sounds just fine," she said genuinely, before squatting in front of Noah and speaking to him. He warmed up quickly, handed her a block, and before long Eileen and Noah seemed to be best friends.

"That was fast," Olivia said, handing them both a mug and settling on the couch. Cragen sat down in the arm chair and sipped the drink.

"Eileen likes kids," he explained, watching her interact with Noah. "Probably more than she likes me."

The adults laughed and Noah joined in with his own giggles, though totally unaware of what was funny.

"Have a good Christmas?"

Olivia shifted and nodded towards the tree. "Oh yeah," she said. "He won't need any new toys for about three years."

"I'm sure it's hard not to spoil him" Cragen allowed, before leaning forward and giving Olivia his undivided attention. "How long until it's…official?"

"Hopefully this spring," she offered, tucking her hair behind her ear, and hoping that Cragen wouldn't push as this was a conversation that she was tired of having giving the anxiety it brought up. He must have gotten the message.

"I, uh, hear you've befriended Tucker…" Cragen's face was pensive, but he had a small smirk as he looked at, arguably, his favorite detective.

Olivia's head snapped up, her eyes wide. "Who told you that?"

"Ah, the NYPD rumor mill is strong," he offered. "Never quite got out of it."

"He's…here," Olivia said, meaning that she was allowing Ed Tucker to be present in her life and he was seemingly sticking with her, unlike others she had dated. Cragen understood exactly what that word meant. "I'm sure you think I'm crazy, just like everyone else. Hell, sometimes I think I'm crazy."

"Is he good to you?" Eileen was busy playing with Noah, hearing the conversation but knowing that Don wanted a little time. He made eye contact with Olivia and waited patiently for her answer. She took a few deep breaths before allowing a small smile, which told Cragen everything he needed to know.

"He is."

"Then screw everyone else."


Review if you're ready for Ed to return from Cali.