Chapter 14

"Olivia…"

Ed had to resist the urge to run right to Olivia and gather her in his arms, holding her tightly in relief. Instead, he walked briskly to where she was speaking with Rollins and Fin and shoved his hands in his pockets so they wouldn't instinctively attempt to comfort her in front of the hoards of NYPD personnel in the hospital waiting room.

"Ed." Her voice sounded slightly hoarse, but he could hear his own relief mirrored when she spoke his name.

"Amaro okay?" Ed asked, switching into IAB mode but being careful with his tone.

"Considering," Olivia replied.

"What about Johnny D?"

"Dead," Olivia said, her tone professional but Ed could hear the distance in it. "So is a court officer. Two others hit, including a judge. Plus Nick."

"Jesus," Ed replied, his hand rubbing his forehead as he stared at the floor, still trying to calm his heart rate from that initial fear that Olivia could've been hit. The sound of more footsteps signaled the arrival of Cole, who Ed had left to park the car once arriving at the hospital.

"What was he thinking?" Rollins asked. "No way he was getting out of there alive."

Ed shuddered, shaking off the image he had of bullets flying around far too close to Olivia, then glanced at Cole. "That's exactly what he was thinking," he muttered. "Liv, ya got a moment?

Olivia nodded and requested that Amanda come get her as soon as any news emerged about Amaro. She took one last look around the waiting area before following Ed. The eyes of Cole, Rollins, and Fin followed the two of them until they were out of sight.

"There somethin' going on there?" Cole asked, more certain than ever his coworker was smitten with Olivia Benson.

"They're doing a pretty shitty job of hiding it," Rollins muttered, unofficially confirming Cole's belief. He let out a grunt before looking around the sea of faces and, correctly assuming Ed wanted to focus on Olivia for a bit, went in search of a higher ranking official to piece together what happened in the courtroom.

Ed and Olivia made their way down a corridor before hanging a left into a little alcove. He grabbed her elbow and spun her around to face him. Reaching up, Ed played a little with the strand of hair that fell out of Olivia's ponytail then traced her cheekbone with his finger tip.

"Ya alright?" He asked in a soft tone.

"I am," Olivia allowed. "It was…well, you know how it is. When something like that happens you don't think, you just react and do what you need to do. Haven't had much time to let the reality sink in…"

"Sounds like Amaro will be okay…"

"Seems that way. Though I anticipate a rough recovery from a bullet to the kneecap."

Ed winced at the thought. "Hate to see an officer go down like that," he muttered. "And…Johnny D…I guess that situation worked itself out." Ed ducked his head to keep eye contact with Olivia. "As far as IAB is concerned, you should be in the clear Sergeant."

Olivia's eyes closed and a tear made its way down her cheek as she nodded. Ed couldn't take it anymore. He wrapped his arms around her, one hand tangled in her hair and the other rubbing her back as he crushed her into his chest.

"It's okay, Liv," he whispered. "It's okay."

Olivia didn't allow herself to cry. She stayed nestled in Ed's protective grip for a few moments before pulling away, taking some deep breaths to collect herself, then returning to business.

"We all need to give statements," she said. "And I really want to get home to Noah."

"Come'on," Ed said, guiding her back towards the waiting room. He kept his hand on her lower back until they were in view of any onlookers. "We can take statements right here, then I'll getcha home."

Ed handled the statements of any bystanders that were in the courtroom while Cole took Olivia's. Doing his best to concentrate on the witnesses in front of him, Ed diligently took notes and asked the standard questions. It was an easy, open and shut case as far as Ed was concerned. The perp pulled a gun and shot several officials, including a judge. He couldn't imagine a world in which IAB would take issue with any action that was taken that day by NYPD officials. Nevertheless, he made sure to thoroughly question people before closing his notebook and wandering back out to find Cole. Not seeing any familiar face back in the waiting area, he stretched, feeling his back crack a couple of times to release the tension his body was carrying.

The minutes between getting the call about the courtroom shooting and then confirming Olivia hadn't been hit was grueling for the typically tough-as-nails IAB Lieutenant. The tension between the couple hadn't quite abated since Olivia came clean about Noah's paternity, but Ed believed they were getting closer. For a few brief minutes, he had to live with the agony of Olivia being taken from him before they could get back on track. Luckily, that wasn't even near the case. Over their radios, it was confirmed that Amaro was the officer that was hit. Ed had been able to calm down slightly before arriving at the hospital.

He was still lost in thought when Cole came up behind him.

"All done," he said. "I think we can type this up and close it. There's not even a minuscule amount of room to open an investigation."

"Agreed," Ed grunted, crossing his arms in front of his chest and narrowing his eyes as he scanned the room of people. "One less thing for her to worry about…"

Cole eyed Ed suspiciously. "Her?"

"Them," he corrected. "The whole unit. I suppose I just conflated the entire unit into Benson."

"Is there something I need to know?" Cole asked. He had noticed the signs in his partner for almost a year now. How every time Olivia Benson's name crossed their desks, his body would tense up and he would be more protective. Cole remembered the way he fidgeted, going unnoticed by the rest in the room, when they questioned Olivia after Lewis killed himself. He also recalled that Ed had been more on edge the next couple of weeks, almost existing in a fog. And now, seeing with his own eyes how Ed had quickly ushered Olivia away from prying eyes, he was more sure than ever that his partner and Olivia Benson had something going on.

But Ed just gave him a side-eye glare. "Like what?"

Cole just laughed and shook his head. He slapped Ed on the back and headed towards the exit. "Ya coming?"

"Nah," he said, puffing his chest out a bit. "I'll wait until he's out of surgery."

Cole tossed him the keys to the cruise. "In lot C," he said. "See ya later, Tucker."

Ed took a deep breath, realizing that Cole had figured out there was something happening between him and Olivia, but luckily he hadn't forced him into admitting it. He knew Olivia wasn't ready to officially disclose, despite the growing number of people in their close circles who found out. But Ed wasn't entirely ready to disclose either.

Suddenly finding himself alone in the large, sterile waiting area, he went off to find Olivia and hopefully take her home.


Olivia could tell that Ed wasn't sure what to do, or where his place was, as they entered her building lobby and boarded the elevator. His hands were in his pockets and his jaw was set, but he stood right next to her so that their arms were touching. Olivia, as well, wasn't sure how to navigate in the moment. She felt certain that Ed was still hurt by her secrecy, but he had arrived at the hospital so quickly and had held her so tightly and securely, that she thought perhaps the tension was abating. Deciding she would need to take the first step, she turned towards him slightly and grasped his forearm as the elevator began to climb.

"Thank you," she whispered, her thumb rubbing his skin lightly. "Thank you for coming. And for getting me out of there."

Ed turned to her and pressed his lips to her forehead, without making much eye contact. "I'll always come for you."

Olivia smiled as he rubbed his lips on her head gently, before pulling away when the elevator doors opened. "Come on," he said, grasping her hand. "There's a little boy that's ready to see his Mommy."

The smile on Olivia's face grew quickly as they walked quickly down the hallway. Despite the horror and trauma of the afternoon, there was another emotion that Olivia felt. Relief. Relief that Johnny D was dead and completely out of the picture. No more petitions for visitation and no more complications with the adoption. Noah, in her mind, was now hers. And as soon as those papers were signed by a judge, he would be hers forever.

She burst through the door and took Noah from Lucy, holding him tight and whispering to him. "Mommy's home," she said over and over. "Mommy's home."

Ed remained in the foyer for a moment just admiring the scene in front of him. The little boy clutched tightly to his mother and Olivia swayed him around for a bit before finally looking up at Lucy. She gave Ed and Olivia a brief rundown of the day and quickly made her exit, as it was clear Olivia needed to be with Noah and that the trio likely needed to decompress on their own. Once she was gone, Ed and Olivia spent the evening playing with Noah. The three of them all sat at Olivia's mostly cleared off table for dinner and the adults chuckled at Noah's attempts at feeding himself, before Ed took pity on him and gave him a hand. Olivia gave Noah a quick bath and brought a freshly bathed Noah, in dinosaur footie pajamas, to say goodnight to Ed.

As Ed leaned in to give Noah a kiss on the cheek, the little boy reached out to him. Olivia handed him over and watched as Noah cuddled right into Ed's chest and clutched a piece of his tie. Heart melting, Olivia watched the tender moment, unable to stop her mind from wandering to a time when this could be a nightly scene. Not wanting to get ahead of herself, she grabbed her phone and snapped a few photos before coaxing Noah from Ed.

"Say night night to Ed, Noah," she cooed. "Say 'see ya in the morning!''

Ed rustled Noah's hair before Olivia disappeared into the back. To kill time, he went to clean up the dishes from the evening. Just as he loaded the last one and turned the dishwasher on, Olivia reappeared from the back and tossed him one of his t-shirt and a pair of sweats.

"I washed them the other night," she said, "in case you wanna get more comfortable."

Ed tugged at his tie and headed back into Olivia's bedroom. Olivia busied herself straightening up Noah's toys, fluffing the pillows, and finally deciding on a bottle of wine to open. She had just finished pouring both glasses when Ed emerged and snuck up behind Olivia, snaking his hands around her waist and burying his face in her neck.

"Mmmmmm," he moaned. "You smell good."

Olivia chuckled as his breath hit her neck, before pulling out of his arms and handing him a glass. "Cheers," she said, keeping her eyes on his and searching for any residual tension. While she couldn't tell if tension was there, she detected a hint of uncertainty or hurt, or both.

"I know we need to talk," Olivia said, taking him by the hand and leading them to the couch. "I know I owe you an explanation…"

"Olivia…"

"I owe you more than that, actually." Olivia kept going, her speech speeding up and becoming more of a ramble. "There's just a lot going on and I'm so tired and…"

"Stop," Ed said gently, reaching out to grasp her shoulders. "Olivia, stop. You owe me nothing."

"But…"

"No buts," Ed said firmly. "You do not owe me anything. Liv, I'm not asking you to bare your soul right this second. You don't have to be glass," he continued, his voice not hiding the passion he felt. "All I need is for you to try. When you're happy, or excited, or proud. When you're scared, or unsure, or hurt. I want to be the first person you think of telling. I just…I want you to try."

Olivia, afraid that if she opened her mouth she would break into full-on sobs, nodded and tried to stop her quivering chin.

"Liv," Ed rasped. "I didn't wanna make you cry."

"You're not," she finally said, moving her hands to his chest and grasping his shirt. "I'll try harder, Ed. I promise you I'll try. I want this to work."

"I do too. That's all I want." Ed whispered, rubbing his nose against hers before pulling her gently into his arms and rocking them back and forth on the couch. "That's all I want."


"Have you talked to Dad recently?" Nate wandered downstairs and plopped onto a barstool while Emma grumbled at the Keurig.

"No," she said. "This thing is so stupid…"

"Just add more water, dumbass," Nate quipped, shaking his head. Emma turned around, stuck her tongue out at him, but did as he instructed. "Well, have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Talked to Dad," Nate exclaimed.

"Oh. No. You?"

"Yeah, I called him yesterday," he replied.

"Then what are you asking me for?" Emma asked incredulously.

"You're ridiculous," Nate muttered, before straightening up on the stool. "I'm only asking 'cuz he mentioned that Noah's adoption is almost official."

Emma's eyes widened. "Wow, really? That's great!"

"He seemed…excited."

"Well, that's good," Emma said, before squinting at her brother. "Right?"

Nate shifted. "Probably means he's serious."

"Kinda figured that," Emma said softly, reaching up to grab another mug and fix Nate a coffee.

"I was sorta thinking…" Nate began, eyeing his sister to gauge her reaction to his proposal. "If mom'll get us tickets, what do you think about surprising them. Ya know. For the adoption thing."

Emma stopped and looked curiously at Nate. "Like, us go there?"

"Yeah," he shrugged. "Like, the day of the adoption, or maybe the day after…we can surprise them. Celebrate."

Emma handed Nate his mug, took a sip of her own, and then chewed her bottom lip. "You, uh, you think they want us there?"

"Why wouldn't they?" Nate's face was scrunched up in confusion at his sister's reluctance. "What's going on, Em?"

"It's nothing," she shrugged. "I just…I really like Olivia. And I think Dad is really into her. But, like, doesn't it feel weird?"

Nate gestured for Emma to come out of the kitchen and they settled themselves in the breakfast nook's bench that overlooked the backyard. "What feels weird to you?"

"I don't know how to explain it…"

Nate watched Emma chew her bottom lip and stare out of their window. The siblings always had a relatively close relationship, especially given the occasional discourse and the cross-country move. Nate had a strong protective streak, much like his father, and looked after his little sister. Emma, in return, adored her older brother. There were times when, despite both of their parents trying their best, that the two felt like they were on their own in the world. While normal siblings would fight, they seldom did. And as Nate observed Emma struggle to put words to her feelings, that protective urge came back.

"Em, Olivia's not gonna replace Mom," he said gently.

"I know that," she said honestly. "And I want to get to know her more…to be close to her." Emma paused briefly before continuing. "But what if she doesn't want to be close to us?"

Nate didn't say anything for a bit. Instead he thought back to the time he had spent with Olivia. "I think she's just reserved because she doesn't want to come on too strong. Like, I got the feeling she wanted to get to know us, but was afraid of saying, or doing, the wrong thing."

"Maybe that's it," Emma said, nodding. "That makes sense."

"I think she's 'the one' for Dad," Nate finally said. "It's not like with Mom and Chris. This is the real deal."

Emma agreed. "I don't wanna hurt Mom. Or Dad and Olivia." She let out a sigh and let her head fall back against the wall. "A bazillion kids deal with this in the world. Why do I find it so hard?"

"Because they probably find it hard too," Nate said simply. "You know Mom supports us having a relationship with Dad…and she will with Olivia, too."

"I know," Emma said, and finally allowed herself to smile. "Okay. Let's talk to Mom and go!"

Nate grinned, finally seeing some light come back into his sister's eyes.

"I'll research flights."


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