Chapter 15
Ed checked his watch for the third time then went back to wiping down Olivia's kitchen counter. The last of the guests who had attended Noah's adoption party had finally departed and Olivia disappeared with Noah, presumably to give him a bath and fresh pajamas.
It had been a fantastic day. Olivia had requested that Ed drop her and Noah off at the courthouse where she was meeting Trevor to finalize Noah's adoption. Ed had been elated at the offer. Ever since she learned the final court date, Olivia had somewhat closed herself off, which she later admitted was out of anxiety and had nothing to do with Ed or their relationship. He had not expected to be invited to the courthouse, but jumped at the opportunity to take her there and give her a firm hug and kiss before watching them climb the steps. Olivia had left Ed her keys so he could go to her apartment and set things up for a little post-adoption party. Once again, Ed found himself surprised that Olivia so readily included him in the party invitation, particularly since Rafael Barba would be in attendance. When he questioned whether she was ready, Olivia shrugged it off.
"If he finds out, he finds out," she said nonchalantly. "Something I never ever thought would happen is finally happening today, and I want to be surrounded by my family."
Ed was considered family. Despite the two of them still struggling to open up, their commitment to each other felt stronger than ever and Ed was convinced that once Noah was legally Olivia's, and she was free from the fear that he would be taken away, their relationship would flourish.
Smiling to himself, Ed went to rinse out the sponge, squeezed it dry, then plopped it back into the sponge holder that hung in Olivia's sink. He spun in a circle and admired his work. Deciding it was a job well done, he lit the lavender candle she kept on the bar counter and poured the rest of one of the bottles of wine into two glasses. In a matter of minutes, she had returned with Noah. They had both changed, Olivia into gray athletic leggings and a lightweight pink pullover and Noah in blue and green train pajamas.
"Better?" He asked, handing her the wine and admiring her from head to toe.
"Much," Olivia replied, kissing him quickly. Noah reached for Ed and he took the little boy, tossed him in the air, eliciting a belly laugh, then settled him on his hip.
"Cheers," Olivia said, once Ed grabbed his own glass.
"Cheers, baby," he whispered, sipping the wine, kissing Noah's head, then moving for Olivia's lips. "It's been a good day."
"The best day," she said softly, her eyes moving to Noah who had laid his head on Ed's shoulder in contentment. "Just…the best. Thank you…for being a part of it. For being here."
Ed paused, calculating what his response could be. He had so much he wanted to say to her, to commit to with her, but he didn't want to push too far. Deciding to take a slight risk, he put his glass down and cupped her cheek.
"Liv, I wanna be here for anything and everything you'll let me," he said. His voice was still soft, but firm and full of resolve. Even if Olivia tried, she wouldn't be able to doubt his sincerity. It was written all over his face. "It's your call, your pace," he continued. "But I'm here and I'm in."
Olivia smiled and reached up to kiss his lips. "Me too," she said, pulling back a tiny bit. Ed could feel her breath on his face as she spoke. "I'm in too."
Ed grinned and nodded his head to the living room. As Olivia turned, she caught sight of Ed once again checking his watch and furrowed her eyebrows.
"Got somewhere to be, Tucker?" She asked playfully, knowing he had brought overnight gear, but she was curious why he kept checking the time.
"Nah," he said. "Just habit I suppose."
Olivia didn't believe him, but quickly decided whatever his reasoning was, the importance was low. Ed, however, knew it was. Just as they settled onto the couch, his phone buzzed and Ed quickly reached for it.
"And you say I'm glued to my phone," Olivia muttered, watching as Noah made his way over to his toy box and went straight for the blocks.
Tossing his phone back onto the coffee table, Ed leaned over and kissed Olivia's cheek. "Gotta surprise for ya," he said with a grin. Olivia just looked at him curiously. He had almost a giddy look on his face.
"Are you gonna tell me what it is?"
"Nope," he said with a shrug. "You'll see soon enough."
Unbeknownst to Olivia, Ed had been in communication with his kids all day. When he returned from dropping her and Noah off, he spoke with the doorman and explained that his two kids wanted to surprise Olivia. He left a photo of them with the desk, and he promised they would let them up without buzzing the apartment. All Emma was supposed to do was text him when they were in the elevator.
At first thought, Ed had suggested they come the night before the adoption. But as the time neared, he saw how anxious Olivia was and changed his mind. Paying the airline fee, he swapped their flight to the next day. Nate and Emma didn't mind at all, and Emma was actually relieved to not feel obligated to be at an event with Olivia's friends. She was not at all ready for that kind of interaction. She was, however, bouncing with excitement at their plan of surprising Olivia and Noah.
A soft knock filtered through the apartment and Olivia raised her eyebrow at Ed.
"Well, ya gonna answer your door?" The smirk on Ed's face caused a flutter to flow through Olivia and she quickly got up and went to the door.
"Surprise!" Nate and Emma was standing side by side, Emma was holding a bouquet of colorful flowers and Nate had two meticulously wrapped gifts.
"Nate! Emma!" Olivia exclaimed, quickly ushering them inside. She took the flowers from Emma and gave her a brief side hug and kiss on the cheek. "These are beautiful."
"Congratulations," she said. "We're so excited for you!"
"I'm so surprised you're here!"
Nate shrugged, handed the gifts to Ed, and embraced Olivia warmly. "We didn't wanna miss out on this," he said simply.
Olivia's entire body relaxed and her heart swelled. Ed's kids wanted to be a part of something monumental in her life.
"Come in," she said ushering them into the living room, a wide smile plastering her face. "Have you eaten? We have leftovers…and I actually have sodas too."
Nate plopped the presents on the coffee table and squatted to greet Noah. "Hey little man," he said, taking his arm and teaching him to fist bump. "Heard ya had a big day!"
Noah grinned and allowed some drool to drop onto his chin. Nate grabbed a clothe, wiped it, then picked him up. Noah swatted at his face playfully. Emma shifted, unsure what to do, and settled on helping Olivia situate the flowers.
"Do you have a vase?" She asked, dropped her bag and going into the kitchen.
"In the cabinet above the stove," Olivia said, her smile still huge as she looked between Nate playing with Noah and Emma rummaging through her kitchen without hesitation. She wrapped her arms around herself, made eye contact with Ed, and let out a sigh. It was exactly what she wanted.
Olivia had just finished topping up her coffee when Ed came up behind her and snaked his arms around her waist. He kissed at her ear as she poured a small amount of almond milk and stirred the contents of her mug.
"Guess you're not staying over anymore," she said with a sigh. It wasn't a disappointed statement, just a mere observation given his kids were in town.
"Wrong, Benson," he said, his mouth still dangerously close to her ear. The words sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. "They insisted I stay."
"They insisted, huh?" Olivia teased, turning around in his arms. She was hyper sensitive about showing too much affection in front of his kids, but Ed didn't seem to mind. He kissed her lips a few times and nuzzled her nose.
"They insisted."
Olivia smiled, patted his chest, and pulled away. "Well, then," she said. "Let's go enjoy the rest of this surprise game night."
Once Noah had gone down for the night, Nate suggested they play a couple of games. Olivia readily agreed, but then realized she didn't have many options.
"I've got, well, regular cards, poker chips and Scrabble."
The guys immediately suggested poker, but Emma had frowned. "I don't know how to play poker," she said.
Olivia smiled and put her arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry," she said with a smirk. "I crush your dad often. I'll teach you my ways."
Ed looked indignant. "You do not crush me often," he said. "I let you win."
Nate let out a laugh, one that was similar to Ed's. "Yeah right," he said, shaking his head and taking the cards from Olivia to shuffle. "You're too competitive. She just crushes you."
Emma had laughed and looked at Olivia. "Sounds fun."
Now, as Ed and Olivia made their way back to the table, Nate and Emma quickly stopped whispering and scrambled back to their seats.
Ed raised his eyebrows. "Talkin' 'bout us?" His tone was teasing, but he was curious.
"Yep," Emma side, a sly smile that was identical to Ed's donning her face. "But you'll live. Now come on, me and Liv need to take more of your money."
Olivia laughed and tried not to let her emotion from Emma using her nickname show. Instead, she sat next to Emma and nudged her arm. "We already have enough to leave them at home and go for manicures. Maybe we can add a pedicure to that plan…"
Emma eagerly nodded and reached for the deck as it was her turn to shuffle. "Good idea."
Ed playfully rolled his eyes, but caught Olivia's gaze. They both shared a relieved, yet grateful smile. For the first time since the two families started spending time together, there was no awkward pause or moment. They just had fun, and Emma was openly planning to spend one on one time with Olivia. Neither adult could have asked for a better end to an already monumental day.
The next day Emma and Olivia set off for their mani/pedis, and had already informed the boys that they would likely stop for lunch before coming home. Ed seemed perfectly okay with the plan and announced he and Nate planned on feeding Noah junk and watching the previous night's NBA final game that Ed had recorded on his DVR. Perfectly comfortable leaving Noah in the hands of Ed and Nate, the two girls set off and wandered into a coffee shop before entering the nail salon.
Unfortunately, their plans for lunch were not meant to be. Olivia received a call just as the two sat down to let their nails dry.
"Work?" Emma asked, her eyes wide. Despite knowing what Olivia did for a living and having a father who would also get called in, she seemed surprised that Olivia had to cut their date short. And Olivia also sensed a tiny bit of disappointment.
"Yeah," she said softly, her own disappointment evident in her tone. "I have a few minutes, but probably can't do lunch."
"That's okay," Emma said shrugging. "I still really enjoyed this."
"Me too, Emma," Olivia said sincerely. "And…I'll make the lunch up to you. Okay?"
"Sounds like a plan. If not this trip, then the next one!"
Olivia just smiled, suddenly feeling the beginning of tears forming in her eyes. She thought back to the comment she overheard back in March and compared it to the last several days she had spent with Ed, Emma, and Nate. There was no outward sign of discomfort or hesitation. The five of them had spent time all together and also pairing off at times. The more she reminisced, the more disappointed she was that she had to end her and Emma's one on one time.
"It's really okay, Liv," Emma said, using her nickname a second time. The girl was easily able to see Olivia's turmoil about leaving. "I can go home and make sure Dad and Nate aren't corrupting your completely innocent son. And hopefully you'll be home in time for dinner?"
"I hope so too," Olivia said, smiling softly at the young girl. She took a few moments to collect her thoughts before continuing. "It was so sweet of you and Nate to come out for Noah's adoption. Thank you. You being here means the world to me. And your dad, too."
"You're welcome," Emma said, but shifted her eyes to her light pink fingernails. The duo let their nails dry a bit longer before sliding their sandals back on and heading back out towards Ed's building. "I had a good time today."
Olivia pulled Emma in for a quick side hug, slowing their gait just a bit. "Me too," she said softly. As they neared Ed's building Emma stopped and bit her index finger for a bit.
"Emma, you okay?" Olivia's face was full of concern.
"Oh, yeah," she said quickly. "It's not that. I just, well, um…"
Olivia reached out and rubbed Emma's upper arm, hoping to calm whatever anxiety she had about what she wanted to say.
"You really like my dad, don't you?" Her blue eyes peered up at Olivia in anticipation of her answer.
"I do," Olivia said firmly. She studied Emma's face, taking note of how young the girl nervously tried to figure out what to say about the situation. "And," Olivia continued with slight hesitation. "I really like you and Nate. As does Noah."
Emma smiled up at Olivia. "He's so cute," she gushed, turning to continue their walk. "Don't let Dad and Nate corrupt him…"
Olivia just smiled. "Ah, I can think of worse people for my son to learn from."
As they waited for the elevator, Emma grew quiet again. "It was weird, at first, when I realized Dad was so…well, that he was with you."
Olivia tried to hide her surprise and excitement that Emma was finally opening up a little bit. Ed mentioned several times that while Nate was more open about things and easier to read, Emma could be a bit more difficult. He assumed it was because, as a girl, she had a closer relationship to her mother. Ed also admitted that despite his best efforts, he was likely a little intimidating as they grew up. But things seemed to be shifting for the Tuckers, as well as the Bensons.
"Emma, I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable," Olivia said honestly. The elevator doors opened and they stepped in. Emma hit the button for Olivia's floor then turn to look at her again.
"I'm not," she said. "Not anymore."
Willing the tears away, Olivia nodded and patted the girl on the arm. "I'm so glad."
It was pushing ten that night when Olivia finally made it back to Ed's. She unlocked the door and dropped her bag in the foyer, surprised that the apartment lights were dim and it seemed quiet. She crept around the corner and noticed Nate on the couch, the TV softly on in the background, but he was reading a book.
"Hey," she whispered. "Where is everybody?"
Nate turned around and grinned. "Emma wanted ice cream," he explained. "And dad realized they were out…so they ran to the store."
Olivia laughed. "Yeah…I think that's my fault."
"Exactly what Dad said," Nate responded with his own chuckle. "They should be back soon. I hope you don't mind I'm here with Noah."
"Of course not," Olivia said, plopping on the opposite side of the couch from Nate. "He been asleep long?"
Nate looked at her sheepishly. "Not as long as he should have been…"
"Ah," Olivia shrugged. "He probably had to time of his life."
The pair fell into a comfortable silence. Olivia kicked her shoes off, put them under the coffee table, and tucked her feet under her.
"Everyone okay while I was gone?"
"Yep," Nate confirmed. "Took Noah to the park. Emma whined because she chipped her nail already. And dad had to toss Noah's outfit in the wash because we let him munch on a pretzel and he really liked the mustard…"
Olivia just laughed. "I hope you got pictures?"
"Emma did." Nate paused, and Olivia noticed the same contemplative look on his face that she had witnessed from Emma earlier.
Wow, they look so much like their father, she thought to herself as she waited for what Nate wanted to say.
"We're really happy, ya know, that Dad is so happy," Nate said. He wasn't nearly as tentative with his words as Emma. Nate seemed wise beyond his mere 19 years, which Olivia often saw in young men who felt responsible for younger siblings, especially within a broken family. "And Dad…he's so into you."
Olivia blushed. "I'm pretty into him too, Nate," she assured him, correctly assuming that was where the conversation was headed.
"My mom never had a real serious relationship," he explained. "Lots of men, nothing serious. And that's hard on Emma. Much more so than me, for whatever reason."
Olivia turned so her body was facing Nate, eager for him to open up more. She desperately wanted to understand Ed's kids, and perhaps more of Ed, so she could do right by all of them.
"Emma is close to our mom," he explained. "And when her, well, Chris..whatever he is…comes back into the picture, it's hard on Emma. And she tends to withdraw. And I think…that's why she was so nervous about you."
"That makes sense," Olivia said, hanging on to every word Nate was saying.
"And Dad is so steady."
"He really is."
"But ya know," Nate said, with an almost cautious tone. "Sometimes he's too steady. I see him push his feelings down every year at Christmas. Not so much any more, but definitely during those first years. Mom really hurt him. And he would never show it. He just wanted to be steady and strong."
Olivia's heart felt like it was breaking as Nate described Ed. She noticed that about him as well. He didn't often admit his feelings to her either. And the more she thought, the more guilt she felt about how much he was giving and how little she gave in return.
"Anyways," he said. "I'm probably overstepping, I just…I wanted you to know that for some reason. So you can take care of him."
Olivia took a deep breath and kept eye contact with Nate, feeling his protectiveness and allowing it to wash over her. "Nate," she said carefully. "I promise you that as long as he'll let me, I'll do my best to take care of him."
"Good," Nate said. "Sorry if I over-stepped."
"Of course not," Olivia said. "I know this is hard, and sometimes awkward. I'm so grateful you both came here for Noah. For me. And, who knows what the future will bring. But I want it to include all of us."
Later that night, Olivia crawled into bed next to Ed. She rested her head on his shoulders and sighed as he traced patterns over her shoulder.
"Sure they're okay that we are staying over?"
"Liv," he sighed. "For the tenth time, yes. It was their idea."
"I know," she said, but her voice was still unsure.
Ed sat up a bit so he could look at Olivia. "What is it?"
"I don't want you to hide your feelings from me," she said. "I don't want you to feel like you always have to be strong, or understanding."
Ed screwed up his face in confusion. "Where is this coming from?"
"I just," she began, trying to gather her thoughts. "This relationship should go both ways. I want to be for you, what you are for me."
"Liv, you are," he said honestly. "You've had a lot going on, baby. It was the time for me to be steady. But I know, and I trust, that if and when that changes, you'll be the one holding me up."
"I will," she said firmly, holding his gaze as she kissed his lips before settling back onto her chest. "These last few days have been…incredible. And a needed relief."
Ed rubbed her back gently. "What do you mean by relief?"
Olivia took a deep breath, and to keep with her promise to try harder to be open with him, went for it. "Back in March, I overheard Emma tell her friends how uncomfortable she was that I was staying with you while they were there."
"Liv…" Ed said, frustration evident in his voice.
Olivia rubbed his chest comfortingly. "Ed, it's okay," she said. "I knew she felt that way even before she said it. But, well, this is me trying to be more open. So you know just how much the last few days have meant to me."
"I wish you woulda told me, Liv," he said. "But, I get why you didn't. And…these last few days have meant a lot to me too."
She sat up, wanting to make sure to see Ed's face as she made her next move. "I hope," she began, taking a deep breath of courage. "I hope that this means…well…that it means that this is gonna work. We, all five of us, are gonna work. In whatever capacity that is."
Not typically emotional, Ed felt tears burn in his eyes. He pulled Olivia down and crushed his lips to hers, suddenly desperate to feel every part of her body touch his. When he finally had to pull his mouth away from hers in order to catch his breath, he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and traced her face lightly with his index finger.
"I love you, Olivia," he whispered. It was the first time he dared to utter the words, but it had never felt more right than in that moment. He was rewarded with one of the biggest, brightest smiles he'd witnessed from Olivia.
"I love you, too."
Alright, well, this was a little sugary and sweet and unlike me. But...*shrugs*...enjoy it for now. Wonder what's next? Leave a review!
