Chapter 16
Ed woke up with a start, immediately sitting up and rubbing his face. Olivia stirred and reached out for him.
"You okay?" Her voice was groggy, but her eyes were open and eyeing Ed.
"Yeah," he said quickly. "I have no idea what woke me up."
Olivia sat up, more awake now, and studied his breathing. "Ed, you're shaking."
"Yeah," he mumbled.
"Dream?"
"I don't think so? Just…startled I guess," he said. He shook it off and leaned over to kiss Olivia's lips. "G'morning, Liv."
"Good morning to you," she said and grinned at him, before leaning over for another kiss. Thinking they were headed towards a morning quickie, she was disappointed when Ed rolled out of bed.
"I think I need to shower," he said. "Un-fog my brain. I'll be right back."
Olivia sighed and watched him disappear into her bathroom. It was unlike Ed to get rattled like he seemed to be after waking up. Knowing she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, she leaned over and turned on the lamp on her side of the bed. Olivia reached for her sleep pants and shirt, which Ed had tossed across the room the night before, and padded out to start a pot of coffee.
The stove clock read 4:57am and Olivia let out a yawn, rubbing her eyes and willing the coffee machine to work faster. Typically Noah woke up around 6:00am and she had grown accustomed to getting another hour to snooze before starting her day. But given the abrupt wake up, and her worry about the man currently in her shower, she felt it would be best to just get up and try to talk to Ed before they had to go separate ways to work.
Instead of working herself into more anxiety while Ed showered, Olivia tried to focus on the last week they had together. Nate and Emma had just departed New York the day before after a four day stay. In addition to the meaningful one on one conversations they all managed to have, the days were filled games, parks, exploration, and enjoying being together. Olivia was able to bask in the knowledge that Noah was hers legally and forever, while getting a glimpse at how full her life had the potential to be. She thought she would be more overwhelmed at the concept, but even that morning as she sipped her coffee and waited for Ed to emerge, she felt nothing but gratefulness.
Olivia heard the shower water stop. She put her mug down and grabbed another, one of Ed's favorites, and poured it about three quarters full. Ed didn't like a full cup, as he often grumbled about how it would spill. She placed it on the counter, sipped her own, and smiled as Ed finally came around the corner. He had thrown a clean pair of sweatpants back on, but remained shirtless. His closely cropped hair appeared slightly damp, but was drying quickly.
"Here," she whispered, sliding the mug towards him. Ed smirked, but bypassed the mug and took Olivia into his arms, hugging her closely and swaying them gently.
"Did you use my body wash?" Olivia asked, content to stay right where he held her.
"Yep," he replied simply. "Smelled good."
Olivia chuckled. "The big, tough, new IAB Captain is gonna show up to work smelling like vanilla and lavender."
Ed let out a hearty laugh. He kissed Olivia's head before finally releasing her and reaching for his coffee. "Guess I didn't think that part through." Ed's eyes closed as he took a long, slow sip of the hot beverage. "God that tastes good."
"Come on," she whispered, taking his hand and leading him out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Sit with me."
The couple collapsed onto the couch. Ed propped his feet on the coffee table and rested his mug on his leg with one hand. He used his free arm to tug Olivia into his side and he played with her hair. "As much as I would've liked a bit more sleep, this is nice," he said softly.
"Me too," she murmured. The couple gazed out of the windows at the twinkling city lights, waiting for the sun to begin to peak out. Olivia was about to drift off to sleep when Ed shifted, presumably to place his coffee on the side table. "Wanna tell me why you're so anxious?"
Olivia sat up and faced Ed, her features full of concern as she eyed him. Despite the shower and few minutes of couch cuddling, his jaw was still tense and Olivia could feel tension.
Ed grunted. "Not gonna let it go, huh," he said with a smirk.
Olivia grinned. "No," she said, her voice soft. "I want you to talk to me."
Rubbing his hand through his now dry hair, Ed bought himself a few minutes to breathe and think about what to say. "Last week was nice," he began, but he looked to Olivia for confirmation.
"It was," she agreed, knowing that it mattered a great deal to him that his kids, and her, were comfortable around each other. "Just…the best."
Ed smiled and reached out to twist a strand of her hair through his fingers. "I hated that my kids had to leave," he admitted. "I mean, I always hate it. But there was something different about it this time…"
He paused, twisting his lips. Olivia didn't say anything, as she could see his mind churning. She was elated, and relieved, that Ed was divulging to her as she was desperately hoping he would, but her heart ached. She couldn't imagine having to deal with her kids being on the other side of the country.
"Maybe it was how comfortable and easy it felt," he continued. "This tiny glimpse at being together, and being happy, after being alone for a long time."
"Ed…" Olivia sighed, reaching out to grasp his hands and hold them tightly. One of the main reasons Ed and Olivia were drawn to each other, it seemed, was that they both were alone. Or, at least, that's how it felt to them. They understood that feeling, and could commiserate together. But this was perhaps the first time Ed seemed willing to dive deeply into his own solitude.
"I miss my kids," he whispered, voice full of emotion but his features stayed tense and rugged. "And I…enjoyed…feeling as if the five of us could work."
"Me too," Olivia agreed, hoping to put a little of his anxiety at ease. "But?"
"I dunno," he said honestly. Ed tugged one of his hands from Olivia's and rubbed his face. "Ever since I watched them go through airport security, I've had this…knot…in my stomach. I'm usually sad, but…this feels different."
Olivia just watched him and made sure to keep physical contact with him in some way. She wanted him to know she was right there with him, listening to him, and ready to do whatever she could for him.
"Maybe," she began slowly, making sure to watch for signs that he didn't want any advice. "Maybe getting back to a normal routine will help?"
"That's probably exactly what will help," he admitted. They enjoyed a few more moments of silence before Ed leaned over and gently kissed Olivia's lips. "That and…maybe some of this…"
Olivia smirked before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him back. The couple giggled and kissed playfully before Olivia laid back on the couch, pulling him on top of her.
"Oh yeah," he rasped as she reached into his sweat pants. He moved his lips across her neck slowly. "This'll definitely help."
The squad room was bustling with activity. After several days off, Olivia found herself buried in unread emails and paperwork. She was hoping to get a few more minutes of catch-up in before having to leave her office to help her squad, but she was skeptical that would happen. With Nick officially not returning, the unit was down a detective which made this new case a bit more difficult. Several assaults had been reported at a big party right by the NYU campus, and the witness list seemed to be never ending.
Olivia looked out into the squad room and let out a sigh. Her body was still tingling from her and Ed's morning romp on the couch. He always left her completely satisfied, but for some reason the after effects of his maneuvers this morning were sticking with her. But she didn't mind one bit. The only thing she minded was that once she walked of of her office, those feelings would leave. Glancing one more time at her phone cover photo, an impromptu pose of Ed and Noah, she finally got up and went out.
"Liv this is Nicole Griggs," Rollins said. "From what we can tell, she's the last one to see Allie, one of our vics, before the attack."
"Thanks, Amanda." Olivia gestured for Allie to go into the interview room. "Carisi and Fin are still at the hospital?"
"Yeah." Rollins lowered her voice. "This one was roughed up pretty badly. They may be a little while."
"Okay," Olivia said. "How many witnesses do we have waiting?"
Rollins eyes scanned out over the squad room. "Nine right now."
"Jesus," Olivia breathed out. "Okay. Well. Let's get started."
"You think they're gonna get us a new detective any time soon?" Amanda asked, seeing that Olivia hadn't moved, despite her order to get started.
"I sure hope so," she said. "Amaro will be tough to replace."
"Yeah. It's strange knowing he's not returning."
Olivia turned and smiled at Amanda. She always knew that her and Nick had a special relationship, though she was never sure just how special. But whatever annoyances that may have caused for her and her squad, she knew first hand what it felt like to have your partner and coworker just abruptly be gone. So she had a small amount of sympathy for Rollins.
"It'll be an adjustment," she said wisely. "But sometimes, change is for the better. Even if it hurts when it's happening."
Olivia patted Rollins' shoulder and made her way over to the interview room. "Hi, Nicole," she said calmly, her victim voice making it's first appearance of the day as she dove into her work.
It was pushing seven o'clock that evening when Olivia could finally come up for air. She strode through the squad room, holding her hand up to signal her detectives to give her a minute, and into her office where she closed the door and collapsed into her chair. Olivia held her head in her hands for a few minutes, collecting her thoughts. She loathed cases like this. There were multiple versions of the story, from multiple groups of people, and nothing was adding up. The only thing that was clear to her was that there were two traumatized teenagers, lives forever altered by these vicious attacks, and her squad was nowhere close to pinning it on anyone.
Olivia sighed and checked her phone, seeing a missed call from Ed. Knowing that Lucy needed to be relieved soon so she could study for her upcoming summer class, Olivia bit her lip and dialed Ed back.
"Hey," she breathed, her voice tired but no less happy to hear Ed on the other end of the phone. "Look, I'm gonna be a little while longer. Any chance you could relieve Lucy?"
She waited and smiled as Ed assured her it was no trouble, and he was just wrapping up himself.
"He should be fed, but Lucy will give you the rundown. I'll try not to be too late. Stay over?"
Olivia chuckled. Of course Ed would stay over if she asked.
"Okay, I'll see you later," she paused, hearing Ed's 'I love you' on the other end. "Love you too."
Olivia took the phone from her ear and instead of putting it down, went to scroll through her camera roll. The 'I love you' phrase was very new to her, and though they had finally admitted that to each other, both Ed and Olivia were cautious when using it. Surprisingly, Olivia didn't flinch at the words. Each time Ed spoke them, she felt warm and wanted, a feeling that she had craved her entire life. Olivia allowed herself a few more minutes of staring at her pictures before turning her phone face down and diving back into files.
Ed arrived at the Benson apartment around eight that evening. Lucy answered the door quickly, and he could see that she was needing to get going and study.
"Hey," he said, loosening his tie as he made his way into the apartment. "Sorry I'm late…"
"It's okay," she said. "I'm just anxious about this summer class. It's really not a big deal."
"Anything I should know?"
"He had a good dinner, but still doesn't seem to like chicken," Lucy reported. "We played outside a lot, so he's had a bath. I really thought he'd be worn out by now, but…"
Both adults eyed the little boy as he pulled toys out of his basket and slung them across the room.
"I dunno, maybe the carrots were caffeinated," Lucy joked, shaking her head. "Anyways, sorry about that Captain Tucker."
Ed had to do a double take, as he still was not quite used to people referring to him by Captain. But his promotion was still fresh, and he was still getting used to it. Lucy seemed to be the one person he interacted with that made the title switch effortlessly when she spoke to him.
"Ah, it's alright," he replied, picking Noah up and kissing his cheek. "We can have us a guys night, huh buddy?"
Noah giggled and clutched Ed's neck as he watched Lucy gather her bags and leave. Ed carried Noah to the back where he changed out of his suit and into sweats, before heading into the living room and plopping on the couch.
"Okay, No, what should we do?" Noah was standing on Ed's thighs and doing his version of jumping, while holding tightly the man's fingers. "Lucy was right," he said chuckling softly. "You are definitely wide awake."
Noah looked at him curiously, as if he could understand exactly was Ed was saying.
"Bah," he said, grabbing Ed's nose and squeezing. "Bah bah bah."
Ed just laughed. "Can you say 'Ed'?" Olivia had expressed her concerns about Noah's speech being delayed. The doctor assured her it was normal, that some kids didn't start talking at the normal age-range, but that hadn't stopped her from fretting about his lack of speech. Olivia, and now Ed, would gently try to coax words out of the little boy whenever they got a chance.
Noah just looked at him before patting his cheek and responding with his typical sound. "Bah!"
"Okay," Ed said, giving in. "Guess I'm 'bah'. What about 'Mommy'? Can you say Mah-Me?"
Noah grinned and twisted his body around, looking to the door expecting to see his mother. But his little face contorted into a frown and tears welled in his eyes. Ed, immediately regretting bringing her up and feeling badly, hugged Noah tightly.
"Mommy'll be home soon, little man," he cooed. "How about a movie? Huh? Mickey Mouse?"
Noah's tears dried instantly and he resumed bouncing on Ed's thighs.
"I'll take that as a yes," he said, navigating the Fire TV remote to Noah's favorite movie. As he waited for it to load, he carried the little boy to the kitchen and fixed a cup of milk for him and grabbed a beer for himself. "Alright," he said, almost laughing at how much conversation he was trying to have with an almost one and a half year old. "Movie time."
Noah reclined against Ed, one hand holding his milk cup to his mouth and the other clutching Ed's wrist. It was one of the most peaceful feelings Ed had ever experienced, and he kept trying to lose himself in the moment, but for some reason his anxiety was still acting up. Careful not to jostle Noah, Ed grabbed his phone and fired off a message to Nate and then to Emma, hoping that once he heard from them his anxiety would cease and he could enjoy the night. Five minutes later his phone buzzed. It was Emma.
Nate is out with Bailey, so me and mom went to dinner and a movie. Will text you when we are out of the theater.
Temporarily assuaged, Ed allowed himself to lean back and relax. When Olivia walked in a little after ten, she found Ed asleep on the couch with Noah snoozing curled up in his chest. Her heart melted a little bit, and instead of disturbing them right away, she crept to the back to change clothes. By the time she came back out, Ed had woken up and was gently standing up in hopes of not jostling Noah.
"Hi," Olivia whispered, kissing him and then brushing Noah's hair back and kissing his cheeks. "Sweet boy," she murmured. "I'll get him down."
She carefully took the little boy from Ed's arms and cuddled him closely. Ed reached over and kissed her head. "Ya okay?"
"Yeah, just tired," Olivia replied, before smirking and raising her eyebrow. "Meet me in the bedroom?"
Ed grinned, suddenly wide awake and anticipating an amorous night with Olivia. "Don't be long."
Olivia leaned up to kiss his lips, running her tongue along his bottom lip before gently biting and pulling back. "Oh," she said. "I won't."
"What'd you think of the movie?" Suzanne slowly turned her SUV into their neighborhood. Emma had been chatty most of the night, but as they got in the car after a late dinner, she quieted.
"It was good," she said. "Cheesy. Funny. Just my type."
Suzanne laughed. "I agree. Who needs a heavy movie when the world is heavy enough?"
"Exactly."
"Sounds like you had a good time in New York?" Suzanne wasn't prying, but Emma hadn't said much to her since returning. "You can talk to me about it, ya know."
Emma shifted. "I know," she said. "It was great. Noah is so cute, and Olivia and Dad seem happy."
"You think she's permanent?"
The question took Emma by surprise, but she hid it well. The girl tucked her hair behind her ear and studied her mother. She didn't seem annoyed, it was almost as if she just wanted to be included in what was going on.
"I do," Emma said slowly. "I really like her. She's good for dad."
"Good," her mother said, and the tone was genuine. "Ya know, that actually makes me feel better."
"Yeah?"
"Of course," Suzanne replied, shrugging as she steered the car onto their block. "Your dad…he deserves that."
"He really does," Emma said softly, before cursing under her breath as they pulled into the driveway. "Chris is here?"
Suzanne pulled the car into the garage, cut it off, and hit the button for the garage door to close.
"He said he may come by," she murmured. "But I actually never got a confirmation."
Emma just rolled her eyes and went to climb out of the car.
"Em," Suzanne said gently, grasping her arm and looking into her eyes. "You need to cut him some slack eventually."
"I don't want to," Emma said, the venom in her tone shocking both herself and her mother. Emma had never openly admitted how much she didn't like Chris to anyone, but especially to her mom. "Sorry," she said quickly. "I didn't mean…"
"It's okay," Suzanne whispered. "Glad you finally admitted it. But, he's a part of our lives, Emma."
"He can be a part of yours," Emma retorted, suddenly finding the courage to speak out. "But I don't want him to be a part of mine."
"You may not have a choice," Suzanne said firmly, her green eyes narrowing as she started at her daughter. "Come on," she finally said. Suzanne entered the house, leaving Emma to glare in her direction for a bit. After a couple of minutes, the young girl let out a reluctant sigh and entered the house, planning to go straight to her room. But the scene she saw in the kitchen stopped her dead in her tracks.
"Well, answer me," Chris said, his voice slurring as he struggled to stay upright. He held a bottle of dark rum by the neck in one hand while other was gestured around wildly. "Where the hell were you?"
"Emma and I went to a movie," Suzanne said, her eyes narrow. "Give me the rum. You've had enough."
As Suzanne went to grab the bottle, Chris jerked away and threw the bottle. It hit the wall mere inches from Emma and shattered, rum going everywhere. Emma jumped back, eyes wide with fear. Suzanne stared at the wall in shock, before turning to Chris angrily. "Get out," she said, point her hand towards the door. "Get out of my house. Right now."
Emma was frozen in place, the smell of rum permeating her senses as she watched the man steady himself. His eyes darkened. Emma had always disliked Chris, but she had never been afraid of him until right now.
"Get. Out." Suzanne said before stepping towards him in an attempt to get him to move. Suddenly Chris snapped and lunged towards Suzanne, throwing her against the counter. "Emma, run!" Suzanne screamed, trying to fight Chris off of her. Instead of escaping, Emma ran towards her mother, and desperately tried to pull the man off of her.
"Leave her alone!" she shouted, but Chris was too strong. He backhanded Emma, sending her flying back into the rum and glass-covered wall. Emma didn't have time to get her bearings before she heard a blood curdling scream and felt a heavy weight push her to the ground as gunshots rang out and echoed throughout the house.
