Chapter 17

Ed slept soundly. He was laying on his stomach, hands under the pillow and head facing Olivia, who was asleep on her side, body curled up against Ed and her forehead against his bicep. They slept so soundly, in fact, that it wasn't until his phone rang for the third time that Olivia finally stirred.

"Ed," she mumbled, fumbling around for the cord to her lamp. "Ed your phone…"

He sniffed quickly and opened his eyes, blinking and finally sitting up. "Huh?"

"Your phone," Olivia said, nodding to wear it sat on the opposite night stand, beginning to ring for a fourth round.

"Shit," he said, sitting up and grabbing for it. "Tucker."

Olivia saw his entire body tense up as he listened to the caller and she felt her stomach drop.

"Emma?" His voice was a whisper and suddenly Olivia felt fear shoot through her gut. She watched as Ed's head fell foreword and he used his free hand to cover his face. Olivia instantly moved so she was next to him and rubbed his back, not taking her eyes off of him.

"Okay," he said softly. "Thank you." Ed allowed the phone to slip out of his hands as he stared at the floor and tried to digest the information.

"Ed? What happened?"

He turned and looked at Olivia, his face both expressionless and full of despair at the same time. "Ed, talk to me."

"Suzanne…she was, uh, shot last night, er, well a few hours ago. At home."

"Oh no…" Olivia reached out to clutch Ed's hands as he tried to continue to speak.

"Emma was there," he said. "Witnessed the entire thing. She's a little banged up, according to the police captain just now, but alive. In shock."

Olivia's body felt numb as she digested the information, but quickly put her emotions aside and concentrated on Ed who seemed to be holding up remarkably well at the moment.

"I, uh," he said, suddenly looking around the room for something, though Olivia wasn't sure what. "I gotta get to her. To them."

"Ed," Olivia called as he stood and moved to the bathroom. She followed him in and grabbed his elbow, trying to catch his eyes. "Suzanne…is she…okay?"

Ed looked at Olivia with tears forming in his eyes. "No," he responded. "She's dead."


An hour later Olivia had dropped Noah off at Amanda's, promised her she'd be back soon to get him, and was speeding towards JFK with an increasingly distraught Ed in the passenger seat.

He'd finally reached Nate who was at the hospital waiting on Emma to be released. The young girl miraculously was not hit by any bullets, but that had not been clear at the beginning. When the cops arrived at the scene, Suzanne was limp on top of Emma. When the paramedics finally reached the girl, her eyes were open, but she was still and covered in blood. They immediately checked for entry and exit wounds and found none, but transported her by ambulance to the hospital anyways. By the time Nate had arrived, Suzanne had been pronounced dead and when he was finally allowed to see Emma, the young girl just started at the wall, not saying a word.

Hearing more of the details had Ed frantically trying to get on the first flight out to Los Angeles. By the time he had gotten an actual human being on the phone, Olivia had arranged to drop Noah off with Rollins and was ushering them all into the car, as she planned on being by his side right up until he walked down the jetway.

"I just…I need to get to them," he muttered, watching the city lights fly past them as Olivia sped down the expressway towards the airport.

"They know you're on the way," Olivia said, reaching over and patting Ed's leg. He grasped her hand, kissed it, and held it tightly in both of his. "You'll be there soon."

"Fuck!" He slammed his head back into the headrest of the cruiser and closed his eyes. "Just…fuck…"

Olivia was at a loss for words. She let him grip her hand and she squeezed back as best she could.

"Ed," she began, merging into the exit lane towards the terminals. "Do you want me to come with you? Are you going to be okay?"

He closed his eyes before turning his head towards her and reaching out to gently touch her cheek. "I love you," he whispered. "Let me…let me get there. See how, well, how they are." His voice once again cracked at the thought of his kids, all alone at the hospital. "I know for a fact I want you there…but…I need to see how they are first."

"Of course," Olivia said, unbothered by his reasoning. "I just want you to know that all you have to do is say the word, and I'll be there as soon as possible."

"I know, Liv," he said, looking back out of the car window. "Why…why are you parking?"

Olivia found a spot, cut the engine off, and unbuckled her seatbelt.

"No way in hell are you waiting in this airport by yourself. I've got my shield. I'll wait with you until you board."

Ed nodded and climbed out of the car, grabbing his carry on that he packed hastily. If he was honest, he had no clue what he actually threw into it, especially since he packed at Olivia's. Ed gripped her hand and they hurried to the terminal. As Ed checked in with the agent and explained the situation, the agent asked for both shields, handed over a pass for Olivia to go to the gate, and wished them well. Twenty minutes later the couple was through security and sitting at the gate, about fifteen minutes before it began to board. Ed had yet to let go of Olivia's hand.

As the gate attendant made the pre-boarding announcements, Ed stood up and Olivia followed suit. She was suddenly overcome with emotion and dread, not wanting him to have to go alone. It was taking all the strength she had to not get a last minute ticket and just go with him.

"Liv," he whispered, dropping his bag and pulling her into his arms. "Thank you," he said. "Thank you."

"I'm right here, Ed," she said, clutching him tightly to her. "I love you. Call me. Okay? And…I'll be there if you need me."

Ed was allowed to board first. He gave Olivia a kiss, then another, and walked towards the gate, not letting go of her hand until she was physically out of reach. Olivia watched him disappear from her sight and allowed herself to fall against one of the large pillars and close her eyes.

"God, please watch over them," she said to herself. Olivia waited a few more minutes, making sure the flight was actually going to take off, then reluctantly made her way back to the cruiser and into Manhattan alone.


An hour later, Olivia had drug herself into the squad room donning worn-looking jeans, a white henley and grey slip on sneakers. It was a look none of her detectives had seen from her wear in a work environment, but Olivia didn't care and neither did they.

After picking Noah up from Amanda's, she had headed home to shower, change, and wait for Lucy. Olivia tried to distract herself by playing with her son, but he was so confused from being woken up a few times that all he wanted to do was curl up into her chest and sleep. Left with nothing to distract her, she flipped mindlessly through television shows until a knock at the door signaled the arrival of Lucy. Struggling to leave her son and try to carry on her day as normal, Olivia was out of it by the time she arrived at work. Fin caught a glimpse of her expression as she strode towards her office. Concerned, he quickly finished up what he was typing and knocked on her door.

"Come in," she said, tossing her glasses off and onto the desk before leaning back and waiting for Fin to sit down. "What's up?"

"You okay, boss?"

Olivia just scoffed and shook her head.

"Amanda told me," he admitted. "But not much. Need to talk?"

Olivia dropped her head into her hands and tried to take some deep breaths. She could barely comprehend Fin's simple words, let alone figure out an answer. Olivia's default way of dealing with terrible, awful things had always been to throw herself into work. Except this time, the terrible awful things were happening to people she loved, not herself, which made it harder for her to soldier on.

"I should be there," she whispered, clicking her phone and once again staring at the lock screen. "I know he wants to…assess. But. I don't want him to be alone."

Her voice cracked at the end of the sentence and she immediately bit her lip and looked up towards to ceiling. "Fin, I don't know what to do."

Fin leaned forward and studied his boss and his friend.

"Don't sell yourself short, Liv," he said. "You know what you need to do."

A lone tear ran down Olivia's cheek and she swiped it away.

"Hey," Fin said, waiting until Olivia finally looked at him before he continued. "We've got this. I've gotcha. You're covered. Go spend some time with your son and get on a plane."

Olivia gave her longtime friend a teary, yet grateful smile.

"Thank you," she said, standing up and throwing some files and her laptop back into her tote. She moved around the desk and to the door.

Fin got up and grasped her elbow as she walked by. "Call me," he said. "No matter the time. If you need anything. Got it?"

Olivia dropped her bag briefly and gave Fin a hug. "It'll be alright, Liv."

"I'll see ya later," she said, giving him once last grateful look before hurrying out of the squad room.


Ed burst through the double doors leading into the UCLA Medical Center. He did a quick scan before running up to the attendant on duty.

"Tucker," he said breathlessly. "Emma Tucker."

The attendant, clearly aware of the situation, gently pointed him in the right direction and wished him luck. Ed didn't even hear her comments. He was already jogging down the hallway and following the signs. After what seemed like an unnecessarily long run through a maze, Ed turned a corner and saw Nate just as he was exiting what looked to be a trauma bay, but it had it's own door.

"Dad," he said, running towards him. Ed gripped his son and held him tightly, his eyes closing in a moment of pure relief.

"Nate," he rasped, before holding him at arm's length and looking him over. "Ya okay?"

"I'm…" he began, about to say he was just fine, but that would've been a lie. "I dunno how I am."

"That's okay, son," Ed said softly, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as they made their way towards where Emma was. "You don't have to know, or do anything. That's what I'm here for. I'm here."

"Emma's, well," Nate, obviously in shock, was having trouble communicating with Ed.

"Let's just get in there to her," Ed said. "I'll deal with whatever I have to deal with okay?"

"Hey, do you mind if I just…clear my head some?" Nate's eyes were wide, as if Ed was going to be upset that he needed some time.

"Of course not," he said. "Do you need cash for anything?"

"Nah," Nate responded. "Just gonna walk a bit. I'll be back soon."

He began to walk off, but Ed called out to him. "Nate?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"I love you."

Nate's chin trembled as he gave Ed a brief, sad smile. "Love you too."

Ed watched as Nate disappeared around the corner before turning, taking a deep breath, and quietly opening the door to Emma's room. He simultaneously breathed a sigh of relief at the sight in front of him, while also feeling his heart crack. Emma looked small in the hospital bed. They had her in a pale pink hospital gown and she had pulled the covered up to her neck. Eyes closed, Ed assumed perhaps she was asleep but as he moved towards the bed her eyes shot open.

"Hey, Emma," he said softly, trying to calm the fear he saw in her face. "It's just me."

"Dad." Her voice was raspy, almost hoarse, and so soft. Ed quickly took the remaining few steps and sat on the edge of her bed. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before cupping her face.

"I'm here," he whispered. "I'm right here. You're okay."

Her eyes began to glaze over and her words slurred. Ed noticed the IV in her arm and wondered what kind of drugs they were pumping into her. He made a mental note to find a nurse once she was calm and asleep. But for now, he had more important things to do.

"What can I do? What do you need?"

Ed's words came out quickly, but Emma hung onto them. She reached up and grasped his wrist, holding it tightly. "Don't leave."

"I promise you I'm not leaving sweetheart," he said. "I'm gonna be right here, okay? You're safe."

"I'm sleepy," she murmured. "But I don't want to close my eyes."

Ed's heart just continued to crack as he listened to her voice, but for the time being he needed to be rock solid. "I'll keep watch, okay? You can sleep now. I'm not gonna let anything else happen."

"Okay," she whispered. "Love you." Emma's eyes fluttered closed and Ed noticed her breathing even out. Reluctant to move, Ed made the decision to shift into the chair right next to Emma's bed and keep hold of her hand, making sure she knew he was there. As he took in her appearance, he noticed a bruise forming on her upper cheek and a few cuts on the one exposed arm. Still unclear on exactly what went on inside that house, Ed could feel the anger begin to bubble up and he had to fight hard to suppress it. There would be a time, later on down the road, when he could let his anger show. But right now, his one and only concern was the well-being of his two children.

A knock at the door startled Ed out of his thoughts. A young looking nurse came in followed by two men in suits with shields. Ed stood up and introduced himself, quickly learning that they were both detectives with the LAPD.

"Listen, I know ya need information, but I'm not sure she's up for this," Ed said, understanding the urgency in the police work but not quite willing to let them near his daughter at the moment.

"We understand, Captain Tucker," the older looking detective said. "Our captain actually just sent us in to see if you had any questions."

Ed rubbed his hand over his face and glanced at Emma. She looked to be completely out of it, so Ed sat back down and looked up at the officers.

"What the hell happened?"

The officers went on to explain what they knew of the events leading up to Chris pulling the gun. "Looks to us like the mom, Suzanne, threw herself on top of Emma as soon as the gun was pulled. Three of the bullets hit her, another two look to have ricocheted off the floor very close to Emma's body. The perp made a run for it. Several LAPD officers cornered him about half a mile from the house. He fired a few shots and they fired back, killing him. Paramedics did everything they could, but by the time they got to the hospital…" His words tapered off but Ed knew exactly what he was going to say. He turned back to look at Emma as he digested the information.

"Has she, Emma, said much?" Ed asked the question not because he wanted to know if the officers had what they needed, but because he desperately needed to know her headspace and how she had been coping, if at all.

"She gave an initial statement as they cleaned her up. Almost robotic. She was clearly in shock. As soon as she started getting upset, the doctor kicked us out. We spoke with Nate, your son, and then decided to come back a little later once you had arrived."

"We have her on a light sedative," the nurse said, suddenly reminding Ed she was in the room. She puttered around the machine monitoring Emma's vitals. "She can go home with you once she wakes up."

The nurse departed, followed soon by the detectives, leaving Ed alone with Emma in the hospital bay. Overwhelmed, Ed just kept rubbing at his temple. He still couldn't wrap his mind around what had happened to his family. The door creaked open again and Nate entered quietly. He moved quickly and pulled a chair next to Ed, getting as close as possible to his father.

"Now what?" Nate asked, his voice sounding much younger and more vulnerable than Ed had ever heard. "What do we do now?

Ed grabbed Emma's hand and reached over for Nate's. "I'm not sure, son," he said honestly. "But we'll do it together."


Back in New York, Olivia had gotten home and relieved Lucy. Noah was happily playing with his toys and so Olivia made a few phone calls to try and get more information as to what happened. She spoke at length to the Captain of the Los Angeles Special Victims Unit, who had told her everything he knew at that point. Springing into action, Olivia researched hotels that were close to the hospital for Ed, who was grateful to have her figure out accommodations. She had correctly assumed he had given no thought as to where he would be staying, and Olivia knew he would have Nate and Emma wherever he went.

"Do you have suites available? Right. Okay. Can I book the two bedroom suite, as well as a regular room? Yes. Olivia Benson. It may be Ed Tucker who checks in. Great. Yes. Thank you so much."

After giving her credit card information, Olivia hung up and texted Ed the details.

I got an extra room. Unless you think it's a bad idea, I'm gonna fly out tonight.

Instead of a texting response, she got a phone call.

"How are you? How are Nate and Emma?"

"I'm okay," he replied honestly. "Nate and Emma are in shock. Thanks for figuring out the hotel."

"It's a two bedroom suite, in case any of you need space."

There was silence on the phone call for a bit, before Olivia cleared her throat.

"I want to be there for you," she said softly. "I'll stay back if you really want me to, but…I can also be on the 4pm flight."

"What about Noah?"

"Nick is in San Diego, and not working. He'll come up and hang out with Noah when I need to be elsewhere. I just…I don't want you to be alone. I want to be there."

"Okay," Ed said, his voice full of grateful relief. "Please. Come."

Olivia smiled sadly into the phone and swallowed her welling tears.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."