Chapter 22

"Knock knock," Olivia said softly as she stood in the doorway to Emma's bedroom. The seventeen year old was sitting on her bed, surrounded by several boxes and a couple of large black trash bags, clutching a worn, tan bear with enormously plush paws. "Can I come in?"

"Sure," Emma responded quietly, giving a little shrug but not bothering to look up from where she was staring at the floor.

Olivia slowly made her way inside, careful of the things strewn about the floor, and sat down on the bed leaving a decent amount of space between herself and Emma. "Do you need any help?"

Emma made a little sound and shrugged, remaining still. Olivia eyed her carefully.

"Or…maybe you want a break? We can go get a coffee or a smoothie? Or I could even finish this for you? Whatever you want."

Still nothing.

Not quite willing to give up, Olivia resorted to sitting next to Emma and imitating her silence.

Once Ed had informed Olivia the previous weekend that his plan was to eventually relocate Emma back to New York, she had been operating with tremendous relief. Her entire being was lighter. Though she was still riddled with questions and concerns about how everything was going to work out, those questions were at least asked in the context of Ed being in the same city as her and Noah.

Ed, however, remained overwhelmed, particularly with the task of getting the kids to pack up their belongings in a house they didn't want to return to, and get it on the market. Olivia graciously offered to fly out the following weekend to try and help, suggesting that at the very least, her and Ed could do the packing and the kids could stay away from the house if they wanted.

Unclear if this was an appropriate time to bring Noah, Olivia fretted about what to do with her son. Lucy was able to stay with him Friday night and all day Sunday, but Olivia needed a plan for Saturday through Sunday morning. Still on edge with Rollins and feeling like Fin was not quite ready for overnight babbitting, she finally reached out to John Munch. Munch had relocated to a small house in the middle of nowhere Maryland, but he stayed in regular touch with Olivia and had yet to meet Noah. Jumping at the chance to begin to teach Noah how to question life, he quickly booked a train and assured Olivia he could handle child care for the entire weekend. Knowing that Lucy was a quick phone call away, Olivia felt comfortable with that plan and booked her flight. Now as she sat on the bed next to a silent Emma Tucker, Olivia almost found herself smiling as she thought about what her son was up to with her perpetually paranoid, but good friend. A soft mumbling from next to her brought Olivia out of her thoughts.

"What was that, Emma?" Olivia used her softest tone, one she typically reserved for Noah, in an attempt to get Emma to loosen up a little bit with her.

"I don't know what I want to keep," she whispered only slightly louder than before, but this time Olivia heard her.

"Well, it's up to you," she said, looking around the room. "But if you're having trouble deciding, we can always pack most things up and keep them in storage for a bit until you're ready to go through it all."

Emma finally looked up and over at Olivia, offering her a tiny smile. "That's a good idea," she said, her face brightening slightly. "It's a lot to try and go through everything right now."

"Then we won't," Olivia replied, placing her hands on her thighs and standing up. "How about we first focus on things you definitely don't want."

"Okay," Emma said, standing up slowly and looking around.

"Then everything else, we'll have the movers pack up for you and we can get it to New York and into storage for whenever you want to deal with it."

Emma began to rummage through her room, tossing things over to Olivia who filled the trash bags. Forty-five minutes later, Emma had a few piles of things waiting to be packed and was back to staring blankly, this time at her nightstand. Olivia noticed her stance and came up softly next to her, following her line of sight.

"That's a good photo," she said, noticing that Emma was staring at a framed photo of her and her mother. It was a regular sized, landscape print of Emma and Suzanne sitting side by side, staring over the Grand Canyon, taken from behind them. Suzanne had her arm around Emma's shoulders and their heads rested against each others.

Emma nodded, biting her lip. "Yeah," she finally said, voice shaking slightly. "When we first moved out here, she was trying to make it up to me. Nate had gone to some kind of debate retreat, so Mom took me on a week long road trip. Went to a few parks. But the Grand Canyon…it was my favorite."

"That sounds like a good trip, Emma," Olivia said.

"It was the best. That's been my favorite picture ever since then."

Olivia smiled sadly over at the image and felt her hear break all over again for Ed's children. Shaking it off for the moment, she moved over to the nightstand and gingerly picked it up. "How about we wrap this in some bubble wrap, and keep it with us so the mover's won't accidentally break it. You can keep it with you at the hotel, or I can carry it back to New York with me."

Emma wiped a rogue tear from her cheek and nodded. "Yeah that's good, Olivia," she said softly. "Thank you."

"Of course. Now. You want to take a break?"

Emma just nodded. Olivia reached out slowly and grasped her arm. "Come on," she coaxed. "Let's go find your dad and your brother."

Not saying another word, Emma allowed Olivia to lead her out of her bedroom, down the stairs, and out the back door of the house. As they descended the porch stairs and headed to the gate, Emma stopped, causing Olivia to turn around.

"Actually, do you think you could take me to Amanda's?" Emma's voice was steady and calm but her body language said otherwise as she wrapped her arms around her waist.

Olivia just nodded. "Of course," she said. "I'll text your dad the plan and we'll head over."

"Thanks," Emma whispered, moving past Olivia and towards the gate. Olivia watched her go and let out a deep sigh before pulling out her phone and texting Ed.


Ed pulled out his key card, waved it in front of the door, and stumbled into the hotel suite exhausted from the day. As soon as he entered, however, his energy shifted. Olivia was curled up on the sofa sound asleep with the Food Network channel playing softly in the background. He quietly moved into the bedroom and swapped his jeans for navy sweats and a white undershirt. He scrubbed his face, brushed his teeth, and finally padded his way back to Olivia, carefully sitting next to her and placing her feet in his lap. Torn between wanting to wake her up and wanting to watch her sleep, he softly rubbed her feet and mindlessly flipped through the hotel's limited channel options. On his second time through the lineup, Olivia let out a moan and turned over onto her back, giving Ed a sleepy smile.

"Hey you," she said, her voice still groggy and sleepy.

Ed flipped the television off and pressed his thumbs a bit harder into the sole of her foot.

"God that feels good," she said, stretching out and letting him continue his work. "How was your day?"

"Got the house listed, finally got Nate access to most of the assets she had, then did some packing back at the house," he reported as he finished rubbing her feet and began to gently caress her ankles. "We musta just missed you…"

"Mmmmm," she moaned. "Yeah, we left a little after three and I took Emma over to Amanda's. Then I came back here."

"How was she?"

"Quiet," Olivia reported, stretching her legs more so Ed could potentially caress higher up her calf. He did not disappoint and starting running his hands from her ankles up to her knees as she continued talking. "Told her we'd take anything she was unsure about back to New York with us, and she could sort through it when she's ready."

"She say anything else?"

"Not really. I didn't want to push. She's still pretty hesitant around me."

Ed stopped his hands at Olivia's knees and lightly tickled the skin on the back of the joint. "I'm worried about her," he sighed. "I'm really worried about her."

"I know you are," Olivia said, reaching her hand out to stroke his face. She sat up slightly, causing him to stop caressing and gripped her leg just above her knee. "I am too."

Ed leaned over and kissed her lips. "Do we…well…can we spend a little time not worried about anything?" He asked the question hesitantly, but it was sincere. Almost as if he felt guilty instigating intimacy with his girlfriend given everything that was happening.

"I think it's healthy to spend a little time not worrying and taking care of yourself," Olivia said, rearranging herself so she was straddling his waist. She cupped his face and stared into his eyes. "How long do we have, Captain?"

Ed groaned as she rocked her hips into his, but checked his watch. "About two hours…think that's enough?"

Olivia smirked and kissed at his neck. "It'll never be enough," she whispered. "But it'll have to do."

Ed and Olivia made quick work of their clothes and at the last minute decided a hotel living room tryst was not what they wanted. Ed gathered their garments and Olivia drug him into the bedroom where he tossed the clothes onto the floor and fell on top of her on the bed. She squirmed a bit, getting comfortable as he settled his body on hers and began to kiss her deeply.

"Mmmmmmm," she moaned happily. She ran her hands up and down his sides, feeling his muscles twitch under her touch. Ed moved his lips down her jaw, taking his time to kiss every millimeter of her neck. "Ed…"

"I love you," he rasped, his mouth moving lower and his movements picking up speed. "I love you. I wanna…I wanna kiss you all night. But…I need you…"

"I'm right here," she said, adjusting her hips and pulling his head back up to her face. "Make love to me, Ed. I'm right here…"

"Liv," he groaned, positioning himself between her legs. Olivia let out a whimper as he entered her just a little bit before he stopped and stared down at her. "Liv…"

His voice was desperate and all Olivia could do was encourage him. "Take me, Ed. I want you…I want you right now."

That was all Ed needed to hear. He spent the next twenty minutes making love to Olivia, gently at first, before becoming a bit more frenzied and hard. Every sound he heard from her proved that she was enjoying herself as she begged for more of him. He had just held Olivia through her second orgasm before he cried out loudly and spilled into her, collapsing and burying his face in her neck. Olivia ran her hands lightly up and down his spine as they fought to catch their breath. Content to stay right there and hold him, Olivia locked her ankles with his and closed her eyes, but after a few moments she felt his body tremble and tried to strain her neck to see his face.

"Ed?"

Trying to remain buried in her neck as to hide his tears, Ed held Olivia tighter but she eventually won and sat them both up against the headboard. She clutched his face and wiped his tears with her thumbs.

"Oh, Ed…"

"Sorry," he rasped, taking a few deep and calming breaths as his tears dried up. "I just…I love you. And there was just this…rush of emotion just then. It was a little overwhelming."

"It's okay, baby," Olivia cooed, not taking her eyes off of his. "There's so much happening. It's okay."

Ed pulled Olivia into his chest, allowing her body to rest against his as he kissed her hair. They laid there for a while before Ed took a deep breath and began to speak. "I keep wanting to ask them…both of them…more about Chris. Nate mentioned he had never noticed a drinking problem. But had Emma? Is that why she was hesitant?"

"Maybe," Olivia said slowly. "I got the feeling she was hesitant because of what he did to your marriage, though."

"He was my partner," Ed said, the emotion evident in his voice. "He was my partner. How could he…how did he do this? He could've killed my daughter, Olivia. Emma was…inches…from those bullets."

Olivia wrapped her arms tighter around his torso, encouraging him to keep talking.

"It wasn't enough that he ripped apart my family," Ed said, his voice dropping as he continued. "He had to traumatize them. I just don't get it. How did I miss the signs? I should've paid more attention when Emma mentioned not liking him."

"Ed, don't do this…"

"I should've questioned Suzanne over Christmas," he continued. "It's so…easy…to be traumatized on our job and turn to drinking or other unhealthy things."

"It is," Olivia allowed. "We unfortunately see it every day. Good cops, good people, who succumb to…whatever it is. But Ed, this is not your fault. You are…an incredible father. But even you couldn't have prevented this. You can't blame yourself."

Ed moved his hand and buried in Olivia's hair, holding her more tightly to him. "Look what he's done to my kids. To us. To my…our…family."

Despite the pain of the situation, Olivia's heart soared when Ed changed "my" to "ours." However, with that admission, it deepened Olivia's resolve to be there for him and for his kids. To make sure they had unending support and love.

"Maybe in time we'll find out more information," Olivia said softly. "Once we have everyone settled back at home, we can do some digging."

"Yeah," Ed said. "I still…I keep wanting to ask Emma."

"She seems fragile right now…"

"I know," he said. "I'll only do it if there's a time that seems right."

"Hey," Olivia said, resting her chin on his chest and looking into his eyes. "You are…the best father. You know what's right for your kids. Talk to her when you want to talk to her."

"I can't wait for her to adjust…warm up a little around you," Ed whispered, a smile forming on his face. "She's gonna love you, Liv. Don't worry."

"I hope so," Olivia said softly. "I already love her."

Ed's eyes traced all over Olivia's face, followed quickly by his lips. He gently moved her onto her back and nipped at her earlobe. "Enough of this for now," he rasped. "We've got…a good forty-five minutes or so before a kid is supposed to return…"


The next morning Ed, Olivia, Nate, and Emma went over to the house one last time. They were still a few weeks away from the move but Ed was looking to get the house sold quickly and the real estate agent he had selected seemed to think it would. Olivia took it upon herself to give the kitchen a good scrub down, Ed made sure the walls and floors were in pristine showing condition, and the kids did one more thorough search of the property, including the basement, attic, garage, and bedrooms. Both kids were insistent that this would be the last time they wanted to go into the house, but Emma more so than Nate. She had soldiered through the packing, was fine to check everything out once more as long as she could avoid the kitchen area, and wanted to spend one last hour on the back porch, her coveted haven since they had moved in.

Overall it seemed Emma was content with the decision to move back to New York. Ed knew it wasn't going to be met with excitement, but given the events of the last month he wasn't expecting anything to be met with excitement. She was still quiet, but neither Ed nor Olivia got any sense of resentment or anger about the decision. Nate was still tossing around the idea of transferring from Stanford but hadn't even begun to look into it. Ed encouraged him to keep it as an option, but to try and let the dust settle before making any decisions.

"Stanford was your dream school," he had reasoned the night before as they chatted over a late dinner. "Why don't you ride this out for a bit and then we can see how you feel."

Nate received the advice well. Once he felt assured that Emma was okay with the move, with or without him, Nate was able to relax a little bit. His protective side was still evident in other ways, but Ed's attempt to take some of that burden from him seemed to be working.

After checking on Olivia, Ed fixed a couple glasses of lemonade and made his way through the french doors and out to the porch to join his daughter. She was sitting in a light blue, wooden swing and staring out over the backyard and the palm trees surrounding the property. In the far distance you could make out the tops of the mountain range, which seemed to run right into a band of fluffy white clouds. Ed took a seat in the adirondack chair just to the right of the swing, handed her a glass, and sat back to take in the view with her.

"Are we almost done?" Emma's voice was still not much more than a whisper, a tone that was becoming a temporary norm for her.

Ed took a sip of his lemonade and rested the glass on the arm of the chair, turning his head to study Emma's profile. She did not budge as she spoke.

"Yeah," he said. "Everything's in good shape. We could leave right now if you wanted?"

Emma just shrugged. She moved to set her glass on the glass table in front of her and tucked her feet under her. Hugging her knees and resting her chin on top of them made her look younger than seventeen to Ed. And she didn't just look younger, she looked lost.

"Emma…" Ed began, but quickly paused realizing he wasn't sure what to say. He took several deep breaths, trying to read the situation, but his detective skills weren't quite as spot-on when it came to his kids. "Sweetheart, I'm so sorry I didn't notice anything was wrong," he finally said. As he spoke, he reached out to grab her hand. Emma squeezed back tightly, despite still refusing to look at him. "I know what can happen with cops sometimes. And I knew you didn't like Chris. I should've asked more questions. And I'm just…I'm so sorry I didn't."

"This isn't your fault," Emma said softly. "It's not like I knew he was capable of this either."

Ed saw an opening to question her a little bit, so to took it. "Did he have a regular drinking problem?"

"Not that I know of," Emma replied. "That…that night was the first time I've ever seen him like that."

"Had he ever gotten…angry before? Any sign he was violent?"

Emma shook her head. She seemed, at the moment, unbothered by the questions. Ed thought nothing of continuing slowly.

"I know you didn't care for him," Ed said cautiously, eyeing his daughter. "Was there a specific reason?"

"You mean other than the fact he broke up our family?"

Ed did a small double take at the sudden venom in Emma's voice, but recovered quickly. "Well, yeah," he said honestly.

"There was just…something about him," she said simply. "I had a weird feeling. But, he was always nice to me. To Nate. To Mom. But he was never consistent. He'd be around a lot for a short amount of time, then he'd sorta go radio silent. And I just…had this feeling…"

Her last words trailed off and Ed almost missed them. He watched as Emma swallowed hard and shook herself a bit.

"This wasn't your fault either, sweetheart," Ed said firmly.

Emma just shrugged.

"It wasn't."

"Did you find an Air BNB so we can stop living out of a hotel?" Emma asked, clearly done with the conversation.

Trying to recover from the abrupt change of subject, Ed just nodded. "I did. A little condo. Not near the beach, but a nice view of those mountains. Kept the hotel tonight. Then after Olivia leaves, we'll stay there until we head to New York."

"About Olivia," Emma began, but stopped as soft sound of footsteps signaled an their conversation. Ed turned and smiled as Olivia made her way out onto the porch. Her hair was back in a messy ponytail and she was in jean shorts and a yellow t-shirt. She looked completely casual and very west-coast-like as she padded around with her bare feet.

"Hey," she said softly. "Everything seems in order." She took inventory of the situation and felt a slight amount of tension. "Do you want a few minutes?"

"No," Emma said almost harshly. She stood up quickly, the swing rocking a little bit, and moved to put on her sandals.

"I'll get the glasses," Ed said, watching her with concern. She still wasn't making eye contact.

Emma just nodded and headed down the steps. "I'll meet you in the car."

Ed let out a sigh and Olivia came up to him, wrapping an arm around his waist. They both watched Emma quickly exit the backyard. Ed kissed her head and took in the smell of her shampoo. "I need to get her some counseling when we settle in New York," he finally said.

"I'll make some calls when I get back to the office tomorrow afternoon," Olivia offered.

Appreciating her offer, Ed remained silent for a little bit before responding. "Nah," he said. "Let me."

Olivia looked at him funny but shrugged and gave him a smile. "Whatever you want, Ed."


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