Chapter 26
"Cheers, Lieutenant," Ed said, a proud smile on his face as he and Olivia clinked their glasses together. Olivia smiled and took a sip of her wine, fidgeting slightly under his gaze. Ed hadn't taken his eyes off of her all night. From the time he picked her up at her apartment, to holding the Uber and restaurant door open for her, to pulling her chair out, to now, when they toasted her promotion, his eyes were glued to his girlfriend.
After Dodds had announced her as SVU's newly crowned Lieutenant, Olivia had immediately called Ed. Despite it being his prodding that got the ball rolling for her to sit for the exam, Ed refused any credit. He was elated that he was Olivia's first call and immediately began plotting to take her out. Once Olivia confirmed that Lucy could stay with Noah for a few extra hours, Ed called around and got a last minute reservation at a quaint, but upscale restaurant. After thinking it through, he called back and requested a slightly later time, then called Olivia.
"How about we ditch the work clothes tonight. Something a little…different?"
She readily agreed and as she stepped out of her building, Ed's jaw dropped. She had, in fact, ditched her work attire and slipped into a deep green, sleeveless dress with a hemline that fell a couple of inches above her knees. She paired the ensemble with nude heels and a deeper shade of lipstick. The entire outfit stunned Ed. Despite being together for over a year, fancy date nights were a rarity for the busy couple. Most of their alone time happened either right after work at a designated bar or after Noah had fallen asleep, neither of which required any kind of festive attire. So as Ed sat next to her at a little table by the window over looking the quiet, tree-line Upper West Side street, he had to stop from pinching himself.
"Thank you, Captain," Olivia finally responded, putting her glass down and playing with the napkin in her lap. "This was a good idea."
"I have them on occasion," Ed retorted with a smirk. He reached over to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. "How do you feel about all of this?"
Olivia smiled. "Good," she said confidently. "I'm a little concerned about Dodds placing his son as my second in command, but…" Olivia paused and shrugged. "It is what it is."
Ed twisted his lips a bit and sat back. "I don't think he'll last," he said simply, his IAB tone returning. "SVU's…not for everyone."
"No kidding," Olivia muttered. "Thank you…for pushing me along here. For helping me keep my job…my command."
"I didn't wanna see ya lose that unit," Ed responded. "It was an easy decision, at least in my book. That job…that squad…it's you. It's all you."
Olivia stopped fidgeting and looked over at Ed, her eyes running over every feature. He was ruggedly handsome. She was used to seeing him in a full suit, crisp white button down, and a plain colored tie. That evening he had switched it up and went with a darker combination. Deep gray suit pants paired with a black button down. He had the sleeves rolled neatly midway up his forearms, and left a couple of the neck buttons undone. At first glance, Olivia had thought he had a matching dark gray blazer, but it was actually just a jacket. She delighted in seeing Ed without a tie on, but still dressed up, and she found those undone buttons to be a slight turn on.
She snapped herself out of her gaze and reached over to toy with the collar of his shirt, as she could easily reach him. They had been seated next to each other at the square table, not across, a gesture that she was now appreciating.
"See something ya like, Lieutenant?" Ed raised his eye brows as he both teased her and continued to emphasize her new title.
"I do." Her words were deep, sultry, and drawn out. They made Ed shift in his seat and lean closer to her. He brushed her cheek with his lips and made a daring move to nip at her earlobe. "Ed…" she cautioned, suddenly looking around the restaurant to make sure they didn't have prying eyes.
"Sorry," he whispered. "Couldn't help it…"
Olivia laughed lightly and grabbed for his hand, bring it to her lips and kissing at it a few times, trying to gather some courage for her next statement.
"I think we should talk about disclosing the relationship," she said, her voice soft, but Ed picked up immediately on her lack of hesitation.
He sat back, keeping her hand in his, and eyed her. "Ya do?"
Olivia nodded. "I do," she said simply. "It is…well, its a little hard to keep it under wraps. My whole squad knows, Barba knows, and Dodds suspects it given how much time we both requested off."
Ed nodded, but didn't say anything. Olivia assumed it meant he wasn't ready, so she continued with her argument.
"I don't want this to come back and bite us, Ed," she said. Her tone was strained, almost pleading. "We have…a lot going on. Perhaps 'sneaking' around can be one of the things we no longer have to do." She paused, and leaned forward to try and emphasize her point. Ed squeezed her hands in his, his eyes still on hers, and allowed her to finish her thoughts. "I don't…I just want this to work…" The last few words of her statement trailed off, as the very thought of losing Ed was near nauseating. Olivia had never felt this kind of attachment to someone she was dating and she found it both scary and exhilarating.
"Hey," Ed finally said, leaning forward once again, but this time only to be closer to her as he spoke. "I'm on board, Liv," he said, setting her mind at ease. "I think you're right. It's one less thing for us to worry about. And…I think ya know I want this to work…"
Olivia smiled, both out of relief and contentment. "I do."
Ed let out a long, slow breath. "Big day, huh," he said, bouncing their joined hands slightly on the table. "Promotion, fancy date night, disclosure…"
Olivia got a teasing glint in her eyes. "Careful, Captain," she said. "Don't overwhelm me…"
Ed chuckled, kissed her knuckles, and signaled to the waiter. "Nah," he said. "Don't plan on overwhelmin' ya until later tonight." He watched as Olivia bit her bottom lip and blushed slightly. It only served to strengthen his desire for her.
"Where's the damn waiter…" he muttered, making a show of looking around the restaurant. "I wanna get out of here."
"Hey, Em?" Nate wandered out of the hallway bathroom and into the kitchen, filling up a glass with water from the fridge.
"Hm?" Emma barely looked up from where she was perched on the couch, in what had become her usual corner. She was playing around on her phone while the television played a documentary that she had on mute.
"I'm gonna head to bed," he said, stifling a yawn. It was barely nine o'clock, but neither Tucker kid had been sleeping well and it seemed to be catching up to Nate. "I'm really beat for some reason…"
Emma looked up. Even from a distance, Nate could tell her eyes were glazed over but she didn't appear to be upset.
"You okay?" He finally asked. The exhaustion kept deepening for him and though he badly wanted sleep, he didn't want to leave his sister alone if she was upset. He knew she had been sleeping even less than he had, but he felt rather helpless with the situation.
When Ed had approached them about taking Olivia out and potentially staying over at her apartment, both Nate and Emma readily agreed and assured him that they would be fine. Ed took their word at face value, already giddy with excitement to finally have Olivia alone for an entire evening. But what he had failed to notice was for Emma, at least, her assurance was all surface. There was an underlying fear in her eyes that Nate had only noticed after Ed departed and Emma had become more anxious, constantly checking the locks on the door and looking around the apartment from her perch on the couch. But, again, Nate didn't know what to do with that. He knew that his sister was traumatized. He knew that he, himself, was traumatized, however, outside of therapy Nate didn't have any answers. He badly wanted to protect his sister, to help her, but the closer the time came for him to go back to school, the less energy he had to slog through the day, let alone help someone else slog. That feeling of helplessness, and of inability to help, was a new feeling for Nate. He didn't like it one bit, but for the time being, he decided to try and sleep it off and start fresh the next day.
"I'm fine," Emma responded with a shrug. She eyed Nate and took in his seemingly deflated appearance. "Just playing this new word game with Amanda."
"Okay…" Nate responded hesitantly.
"Are you okay?" Emma asked pointedly, putting the question back on him.
Nate gave her a small smile. "I guess," he said honestly. "A little worn out…kinda ready to get back to school, actually."
Emma wanted to flinch at the thought, but gave no outward appearance of a reaction.
"Some sense of normalcy," Nate continued, letting out another yawn. "Whatever that is anymore…"
"Yeah," Emma whispered. "Whatever that is…" In an effort to reassure her brother, Emma tossed her phone onto a couch cushion and popped up, making her way to Nate and engulfed him in a bear-like sibling hug. "Sleep," she said firmly. "Love you, brother."
Assured Emma was okay, Nate hugged her back tightly before patting her on the head and smirking. She hated when he did that and he got the desired glare he was after. "Love you too."
Ed collapsed next to Olivia and tried to resume normal breathing patterns. They both momentarily laid on their backs, arms and legs splayed out in various directions, and stared up at the ceiling to try and gather their bearings. Olivia was confident she'd never experienced such a powerful climax, as not only was she trying to control her breathing she was also working to regain clear vision.
The couple had wasted very little time getting down to business once they returned home from dinner and relieved Lucy. Noah was sound asleep and as soon as Olivia had returned from checking on him, Ed pounced. What had started as almost a frantic, desperate romp quickly slowed down once they hit the sheets. Ed had undressed her slowly, kissing each spot of newly exposed skin. They had whispered to each other softly while they enjoyed a more prolonged period of foreplay. It was the first time in a while that they had an entire night ahead of them, assuringly all to themselves, and neither one of them seemed to take it for granted.
Now as they laid next to each other, almost star-fished, Olivia let out a content sigh and found the strength to roll her body over and curl into Ed's side.
"Mmmmm," she moaned. "That was…so good. So so good, Captain."
Ed grunted and shifted so he could wrap both arms around her slick, naked body. "Its always good with you," he said, kissing at her head before allowing her to bury her face in his neck. Ed closed his eyes and tried to freeze time. Their lives had been so hectic and he wanted to savor the feel of Olivia Benson laying sated in his arms for as long as he possibly could. In fact, they had stayed in that position so long Ed had assumed Olivia drifted off, but her lips on his chest and the tickle of her hair along his ribs signaled otherwise. Ed took a deep breath and ran his fingertips along her side and down to her hip, tracing circular patterns.
"Ed," she whispered, her body twitching, before she lifted her head slightly to look into his eyes.
"Whaddya want, Liv," he asked, awkwardly bending his neck in order to press his forehead against hers and feel her breath against his lips.
"This," she said simply, kissing him softly. "I just want this. I feel so…safe."
"You are." Ed's tone was still soft, almost a whisper, but there was a unique firmness to it. His grip on her tightened as he kissed her once again. "You. Are."
Olivia rested her head back on his chest, and closed her eyes. She assumed sleep would come quickly, as their bodies were both spent, but it didn't. Olivia could feel Ed try not to move and jostle her too much, and his breathing never quite evened out.
"What's wrong," she said quietly, rubbing his chest comfortingly.
A few minutes passed before Ed attempted to answer her question. "Everything changes so…fast," he said. "A few years ago, I felt like I was stuck on repeat. Had been for years. And now, in the course of a year, everything just completely changed. And seems to still be changing."
"Yeah," Olivia agreed, for she felt the same way. "It's been a lot. And all at once."
"Don't get me wrong. I'm not really complaining," he said, stopping abruptly. "I…well, that sounded bad…"
Olivia let out a chuckle. "I know, baby," she soothed. "I get what you mean."
"Been missing this, though," he continued. "Life is barreling forward, and I want to make sure I'm next to you while it happens."
Olivia slung her arm around his torso and held him tightly, but didn't say anything. She correctly sensed he had a little more to say.
"I think disclosing is the turn around a corner we need," he said decisively. "I'd been thinkin' it for a while, but wanted you to be ready."
"I'm very ready."
"Next week?"
Olivia rested her chin on his peck and smiled at him. "Tell me when, and I'll meet ya downtown."
Ed grinned and pulled her body up so he could kiss her. She quickly deepened it and allowed Ed to roll her onto her back, eagerly anticipating what he had in store for her next.
Emma's eyes roamed around the apartment as she took in her surroundings. Candles flickered on the coffee table, illuminating the pattern of the one exposed-brick wall in Ed's living room. The television hung above the mantle of an old, no longer usable fire place. When Ed had bought his apartment years ago, the building's twenty-four floors had just undergone major renovations, bringing the units up-to-date and installing fancier, updated elevators. But Ed chose this apartment because, despite the building being more on the modern side, his unit still had characteristics that were highly sought after in New York City real estate; the exposed brick wall being high on the list. When he first moved in, the kitchen was fully enclosed, but Ed had decided to knock down the wall and put a counter with bar seating up, fully opening up his living and dining area to the kitchen. It made it easier for him to keep an eye on his kids when they were younger. Now it had become the trend for apartments, but back when Ed had the work done, he wasn't thinking of anything other than practicality.
Smiling as she wandered into the kitchen, Emma admired her father's updated, stainless steel appliances. She knew he rarely used it, but when his refrigerator had died several years back, he couldn't stand the thought of not having matching appliances, a similarity that Ed and Emma shared. People often commented on how alike Ed and Nate are, but Emma shared more of her personality with Ed than people realized. They both liked order and coordination. While Ed kept his apartment organized and coordinating throughout the space, Emma did the same with her bedroom and accessories. They both acted and spoke with purpose, and it would often take them a while to warm up to new people. But once they did, their identical smirks were filled with mischief and funny quips. Father and daughter ribbed each other endlessly, as Emma could go toe to toe with Ed's dry sense of humor.
Emma also had a stone face that was near identical to Ed's. She could be reacting and feeling deeply inside, but to the outside person there was little to no emotion. Nate wore his feelings a little bit more on his sleeve and seemed more open to talking, whereas Emma would brush things off with a sarcastic comment and move on. Her mother was always good at seeing through the facade, and she had known when to push and when to let it go. But now Emma found herself missing the one person who knew how to read her, and reach her. It was Nate who would bond more openly with his father, and Emma who would lean more towards joking it off. The foundation in which both kids had rooted themselves, and the routine that they had grown to crave the familiarity of, had since been broken.
Thinking back to Nate's earlier comment about getting back into his own sense of normal, Emma found herself feeling lost. What kind of normal did she have? She turned around slowly in the kitchen, but it was a dazed movement. Her breathing sped up and she immediately placed the glass on the counter and gripped it's edges with both hands. As Emma felt herself become more steady, she looked around for her phone. Spotting it on the coffee table, she managed to stumble over to grab it, and went back to the kitchen.
Perhaps water will help.
She took a few quick sips, but her hands trembled. She left the glass in the sink and spun around the kitchen one more time before her eyes locked on Ed's locked liquor cabinet above the refrigerator. Emma stumbled backwards, her lower back hitting the ledge of the counter, before she allowed herself to sink to the floor. Gripping her phone, she kept telling herself to text her father or Olivia, but she never did.
You're fine, Emma. Get it together.
Giving up for the moment, Emma let her head fall back against the countertop and she closed her eyes. Her friends back in California were out having fun. Nate desperately needed sleep. Her father was in a serious relationship and, despite her previous hesitation, Emma liked Olivia and wanted it to work out for all of them. Curling up on the floor in the corner of the kitchen, eyes closed, Emma tried to fight off the flashbacks and allowed the reality of being alone to permeate deep into her soul.
It was a little after one when Olivia startled awake. She immediately checked the monitor but saw that Noah was still out cold. Ed's breathing was deep as he laid next her, signaling he hadn't moved in a while. Not immediately able to pinpoint a reason why she startled awake, she turned onto her back and blinked a few times. As her eyes adjusted, she rolled over and checked her phone. Feeling Olivia's body move, Ed breathed in sharply, rolled himself over so he was spooned against her back, and buried his face in her neck.
"Why are you awake," he mumbled, kissing along her shoulder.
Olivia checked her notifications and saw none, but didn't put her phone down. "I don't know," she whispered. "Something woke me up. But it wasn't Noah. Or you. Or my phone…"
Ed groaned and wrapped one of his legs around hers.
"Good," he growled. "Let's go back to sleep…" Instead of relaxing, Olivia's body remained slightly tense which meant Ed couldn't go back to sleep. He let a few minutes pass before he spoke. "Liv, what is it?"
"Are you sure your kids are okay?" Olivia turned onto her back and reached up to stroke Ed's cheek as she watched his blue eyes sparkle in the darkened room.
"They're fine," he said. "They'd text if they weren't."
Olivia didn't look convinced. "Are you sure they'd actually call us?"
"Why wouldn't they?" Ed asked, his face scrunched up in confusion.
Biting her lip, Olivia reached over to grab her phone. She quickly fired off a text and set it back on the nightstand.
"I texted Emma," she explained. "Hopefully she's asleep and can think I'm ridiculous in the morning."
Ed smirked at his girlfriend and pulled her into his chest. "Nothing ridiculous about you caring for my kids…"
"I'm worried about them."
"They're fine," Ed insisted, but then he questioned himself. Assured that Olivia did reach out, he kissed her lips a few times before settling back into the pillows. "Go back to sleep, Benson."
I know the updates have slowed a bit. I hope you'll stick with me...there's a lot of story left!
