A bouquet of delicate pink peonies was on the top of her counter, near a plate of a pair of warm pain au chocolat. Beside the plate was a square shaped note with the drawing of a paw bent in two.
Marinette rolled her eyes and bit her lip trying to repress a smile, and failing in the process.
She took the note between her fingers and played with the paper a few times before opening it. Inside, with beautiful and elegant cursive letters a little message was written
"Bonjour, princesse! Have a nice day x"
Smiling, she folded the letter once again and put it under a magnet on the refrigerator.
She took one of the scones and gave it a bite. As delicious as they were, she wasn't hungry, so she put them on a Tupperware before preparing herself a coffee, while looking at the window to her side; another cloudy day greeted Paris. Autumn was finally taking his place after the rare sunny and warm days of the month of October.
Later, Marinette paced across her tiny living room, with a mug full of coffee on one hand, and her phone on the other. She was scrolling through the texts on the group chat she shared with Marceline and Sébastien. Both of them were losing their minds over tomorrow's party; Marinette would be lying if she said she was peaceful thinking about it but she had other things in mind that caused her more distraught than the socialite party. She couldn't control what would happen tomorrow, but she knew that she had to be polite and smile and probably things would turn out fine, it was going to be one night, her future on fashion was already on a good path being who and how she was, there was nothing to change, and she was confident in Adrien's suit and her matching dress.
Design and fashion were easy, they were her thing, and this party was about fashion and to celebrate her and her colleagues' designs, it was going to be fine, it was going to be easy.
Easy, easy, easy; She had to focus on the easy things in life, not complicated thought like the ones of last night. No, she had to let those go, far, far away; she had to throw them out of a window like old papers and let them fly in the waves of wind so they could end in unknown corners of the city, forever away from her.
But thoughts weren't papers that she could easily throw away, no, they were loud sounds that couldn't be interrupted as much as you tried. Marinette knew that very well, after all, her life revolved around the understanding of memories and thoughts. You can't control them; they come and go as they please.
And there they were again
Marinette frowned and shook her head from side to side, if she couldn't throw them to a binder, then she could try to rationalize the situation.
Chat Noir calling her my lady, wasn't a big deal, he had done it before. He hadn't realized he had done it but he had called her like that before. After catching a thief, two weeks ago, he had complimented her plan and at the end of the phrase, the nickname had slipped. And sometimes when he had his eyes closed and they were speaking on top of the rooftops he would call her like that, and it had never been a big deal. Marinette had let it pass, it was an understandable mistake. Chat Noir had spent years with Ladybug as a partner; he could mistake Marinette for her if she was –technically- taking her place. Those times he said the nickname, she knew they meant nothing, but last night….
Marinette huffed and rubbed her under eyes with her hands, trying to calm down. This was stressful, as much as she wanted there was no way to deny that yesterday Chat Noir had realized the mistake, and instead of giving an explanation or ask for forgiveness he had stared at her, fear light up a fire inside of his green eyes.
It was that fear the thing that had alarmed Marinette, turning back on her questions about her past and the possibility of being the superhero in the black-spotted red suit.
The speculations had begun six months ago when while digging into one of the boxes in her parent's basement she had found and old sketchbook with designs and doodles. In between all of those old fashion ideas Marinette had have, there were many, many designs following the polka dot patron, but instead of being inspired by the superheroine, they seem to be designed for her to wear.
Doodles and doodles, with notes and measurements at the side. They were wonderful, she was mesmerized by her own art as she always was when she found a new sketchbook –they were the only thing Marinette didn't refuse to look at-. She had kept flipping pages and enjoying her old visions of clothes when she stumbled upon something odd.
Designs with diminutive measurements, that no human could ever wear, and for the shape of it neither could dolls.
A glowing candle had appeared on her mind, lighting up corners of her mind; but the glow was tenuous, not enough to uncover the information she knew she was missing. But it had been enough to plant the seed of doubt.
The scribbling inspired of the superhero outfits made her look for more sketchbooks, trying to find more strange designs like the one she had found. She couldn't understand why she got so obsessed with finding something similar to it, but she couldn't stop. A little voice inside her brain was yelling at, telling her to find the creature to who those designed clothes belonged.
She hadn't found anything, not even a little clue. She should have given up, but she couldn't. An essential part of her life was missing, she was sure of it. It didn't matter if she couldn't remember what, there was something there and it was frustrating to not be able to remember. It was just as frustrating as when you want to say a word, you know the word and still, you can't say the word. It is there but at the same it isn't.
After that day nightmares had made their way back inside of Marinette's nights. Vivid images of events she couldn't place as part of reality or her own imagination. Evocative scenes that she could compare to certain videos of battles she could easily find on the internet. But her point of view of the events didn't seem to be a spectator.
One night, while sleeping at Nathanaël's apartment she had woken up screaming, covered in sweat and shivering. She wasn't able to hide her emotions, and when her ex-boyfriend asked her what got her so shook, she told him everything.
Nathanaël had come up with words she hadn't expected.
He had always given her amazing and beautiful speeches to help her, to support her, so she didn't expect anything but tender words to reassure her that the nightmares she was having were only that, nightmares, a twisted product of her mind. But no.
What if those are memories, Marinette? What if you were there in those battles? What if you were Ladybug?
What if.
That question was the match that had started the fire.
Conversations revolving around those questions never happened again between them, she made sure of it. Not because she thought it was ridiculous –like she had told Nath –but because she had been afraid.
Over the pass of the year, she had been writing down a list to find a similitude between her and the superheroine. She had found more than the ones she had hoped to.
Physically they were one and the same, yet that didn't say much, there were tons of girls in Paris that looked just like her, and with the mask on it could be anyone.
For what Alya said, she had never got akumatized, but that wasn't a major clue either, not every single person had been akumatized. But while discussing this, Marinette had tried to prove a point, telling details of a battle she had witnessed and that she remembered well. Instead of killing her doubts, the little fire had started to build more flames inside of her, because Alya –Alya, who knew every single moment of LB's fights by memory- had been surprised by how detailed Marinette description had been and how she had added events that she did not recall recording or camera, or hearing from other witnesses.
The more she tried to reason to kill her wonder, looking for similarities or differences; every step she took directed her to a new question that made her suspicions of being Ladybug more and more palpable.
It wasn't something she wanted to be, it was scary and strange to think of herself and heroine, nonetheless, it had turned into a real possibility.
Her disappearing and her amnesia were the cherries on top of her crazy theories. Ladybug had evaporated from Paris and Marinette had lost her memory in a mysterious accident she had had on her mysterious trip; the coincidence was too big to let it pass.
Her desire of protecting the city was another point to add to the table. That constant worry and guilt that made her stomach tie in knots at listening to people talk about criminal scenes around the town; she always felt like she had to do something, she didn't know why but she felt it and it was one of the bold emotions that constantly haunt her.
Bold emotions: that was another thing on the YES list. The way she felt the world, how she could sense others people's emotions; that was not normal, and it wasn't a medical condition or an effect or PTSD, it wasn't related to any human thing, it had to be tied to magic, Marinette knew that. And wasn't Ladybug's powers related to some sort of magic? She had heard Alya mentioned it once.
However, theories and suspicions were still on the air, with not solid ground for her to find a definitive answer. She had let it go, grabbed her notebook and saved it inside of the box, and she had forgotten about the subject for exactly three months when a person had found his way back into her life. Chat Noir had made her doubts bloom once again. It was the way he acted around her, the way he spoke to her, how much he trusted her and her ability to catch on with him when they were crossing the bluish rooftops of Paris. How he never questioned her decisions and her plans, how he teased her and how easily he had showed his love for her.
Honestly, she hated when he spoke about Ladybug. She got jealous when he did, and as stupid as it was she couldn't help it. Marinette thought she could be Ladybug, so basically she would be jealous of herself, but it didn't feel like it. She felt jealous because the way Chat Noir described the superhero, she was close to perfection, and Marinette wasn't that. She was jealous of this wonderful heroine, of all the good characteristics and abilities Chat Noir would point out she had. And she wasn't just jealous, she was scared; if she ended up being Ladybug how could she compare to all her glory?
Life was a horrendous twisted mess.
Marinette sighed.
She leaned against one of the walls and looked down at her cat, who had been following her across the room.
"My life is such a big mess, even you realized," She said laughing. She put the mug down, so she would be able to catch cat-Adrien on her arms "C'mon, I'll feed you before I take a shower; you deserve food, an award for not turning this house into a disaster so you could get my attention".
xx
After a hot shower, Marinette's memories and thoughts about last night's worries had faded away, turning into background music that she could only appreciate if she concentrated on them. That was a good thing because she wasn't making any efforts to hear the lyrics of the song her brain was playing.
Instead, she was thinking about a few changes to do in old designs of hers, little details or big additions that could make plain, boring and predictable discarded sketches to turn into something wonderful, worthy of showing.
She was so invested in it; scribbling on a notebook and writing down notes on the side, that she forgot all about the hour. She was diving in an ocean of ideas, too deep to go to the surface. That changed when the doorbell rang.
Marinette blinked fast, coming back to reality.
She stood up fast, forgetting her cat was on her lap, making him jump and meow angry, which made Marinette's heart beat faster than it already had been thanks to the sound of the bell.
Who could be knocking at her door so early in the morning? Her parents were busy at the bakery, Alya was probably on the metro on her way to the office –if she hadn't slept in the office- Sébastien and Marceline weren't early bird, so it couldn't be them either.
A few steps before the door, Adrien's face appeared on her mind. It was probably him.
Marinette opened the door, ready to ask what was he there, they were going to see each other in a few hours, then his reason must had been important if he was coming to see her now- but she did not.
Adrien was smiling, his natural beauty glowing just as bright as yesterday, and all those days before, the only difference was the pair of Garamond glasses with a brown frame.
"You wear glasses, " Marinette said. Still focusing on how the glasses marked some features of his face, giving him a mature look. It was a strange look on him, but he still looked gorgeous.
"Good morning to you too, Mari" Adrien smiled amused; a tender look on his green eyes "Yeah, I wear them to read, I was finishing grading a few papers and I forgot I was wearing them" He pushed the glasses up his nose and narrowed his eyes as he did the motion. A familiar sensation ran through Marinette's skin.
She narrowed her eyes and leaned her head to the side. There was something about the way that Adrien looked right now that made Marinette feel at home. The bold sensations and warnings around him were running away, and something stronger was trying to cross the portal to her mind.
"You don't like them?" He asked, a shadow on his voice "I can take them off if—
"Don't take them off!" Marinette yelled, regretting it immediately "I mean, I didn't say it as a bad thing, but you can take them off if you want to, but it's not that they look bad, they look pretty good, you have the style to pull them off and they made your eyes look really pretty, well they are pretty and but I… I'm gonna shut up"
"Seven years have passed and you still look adorable when you ramble" Adrien's eyes opened in fear "I… I wasn't supposed to...What I meant was—
"Let's pretend none of us said anything, deal?" She suggested.
"Deal" Adrien nodded grinning.
"So what drags you at my door this early in the morning?" She asked. She crossed her arms in front of her and leaned on the door, waiting for his answer and still trying to figure it out these new sensations he was bringing.
"I didn't hear you go out this morning, so I thought I could offer to drive y since we are going to the same place" He laughed nervously.
Two weeks ago, Marinette's answer would have been a rotund no, but Adrien had won a place in her heart, and especially today she was feeling eager at the possibility to be with him, something had changed her perception of Adrien, and she was going to discover what that was.
"That's really nice, thank you" Marinette smiled; accepting his invitation.
"Great" Adrien smiled like a little kid who had just been told he could eat all his candies "So, ready to go?"
Marinette ran her fingers through her, still wet, hair.
"Are you in a hurry?" Marinette asked.
"No, I'm skipping early classes because I have a meeting with my dad. But you have to be there in, half an hour?" Adrien shook his hand to make the watch on his wrist go back to its place so he could look at the time "Yeah, half an hour. And no matter how much my dad likes you, he doesn't stand people being unpunctual"
"Half an hour?!" Marinette pulled Adrien by his wrist, twisting his hand to get a better look at the watch "How did it get so late?!"
"You got entertained?" Adrien guessed "Good breakfast?"
"No time to discuss," Marinette said and ran back to her apartment and then began screaming to Adrien from there "I grab my things and we run, I can't be late!"
"Don't worry, we won't be!" Adrien assured her.
xx
"We are going to be late" Adrien sighed. He softly hit his head with the handle of the car.
"I'm fired" Marinette whispered. She stared at some death point on the horizon "I'm so fired, all my efforts gone! I'm gonna get fired, he is going to hate me, I'll never be a successful designer, he will pull me off of Vogue!" Marinette's face was contorted in fear; she was pulling her hair and shaking her head to the sides.
"Don't be dramatic, M" Adrien said with a wide smile. Marinette had always built crazy scenarios inside of her head, and it was fun to hear them, it didn't matter what they went about.
"Tell me he won't be mad. Look right into my eyes and tell me he won't be mad" Marinette ordered. She pulled the collar of his shirt, bringing him closer. A reaction unlike her, with meant she was extremely worried. "See? You can't!"
"Marinette" With his hand, Adrien covered the hand she had on his collar "Breathe, everything will be alright. Yes, he will be mad, but it's just one time, also you can put the blame on me if you want to"
"Ugh," Marinette huffed "But it isn't your fault, it's Paris' stupid traffic fault!"
Marinette crossed her arms and put them on top of the glove compartment and then pressed her head.
"Things couldn't get worse could they?" Marinette asked. Wasn't her life messy enough? What had she done to deserve all of this?
Suddenly she heard Adrien laugh.
"You are laughing of my misery?" Marinette said, faking a sob "Is this because I mocked you yesterday?"
"No, no" Adrien giggled once more "You just said "could things get worse?" and it started drizzling" He pointed out to the front.
Marinette looked up, finding in front to the windshield were teardrops were rhythmically falling. Slowly intensifying in strength, more and more teardrops appeared in front of them.
"Of course it started raining" Marinette threw her hands in the air "Because my life just needs more movie clichés!"
Adrien laughed louder, and Marinette couldn't stop herself from giggling, too.
"Don't laugh of my disgrace!" She said, hitting his shoulder playfully.
"I'm sorry, but things did turn worse, it's hilarious in a sad way, I'm familiar with that kind of thing so my amusement comes from a good place, I swear." He said in between laughs.
"Well really, things didn't get worse—"Marinette shook her head "It will make the traffic worse, but I like it when it rains, so things are not so bad"
"That's right, you have always liked rain" Adrien's eyes widened "I don't think I ever asked you, I just enjoyed seeing you happy every time it rained, but I never did my research"
Marinette's cheeks glowed in scarlet, and she drifted her sight away from him.
The smile Adrien was gifting her was precious and tender, and the worst part was that his eyes were smiling too, and there was nothing more beautiful than Adrien Agreste giving her a real smile, a smile that not only consisted of lips but his whole face. In that moment, Marinette knew an old part of her still remembered Adrien, because that smile shouldn't make her fluster.
"I just like rain" She whispered.
"Okay…" Adrien said.
Silence reigned after his words. They made an advance on the line of cars, and drive through a few streets without problems until they reached the roundabout around the Arc de Triomphe. And they were stuck again.
The drizzle had turned into pouring rain. The teardrops running and splashing against the windshield of the car were Marinette's focus as they waited for the cars to move.
Teardrops danced and swirled in different directions, only to be stopped of their ways by the wiper washers.
She extended one of her arms to the glass, to be able to touch it and follow with her fingertips a drop's path on the window
"Rain makes me feel at ease" She whispered, finally answering to Adrien's question "I remember that when I was little I would sneak out of the house to go play in the rain, jump in puddles and just do whatever I liked outside. My parents tried to stop me many times but I always found a way to sneak out, or I took longer on my walk home to enjoy the rain; so my mother bought me the warmest and biggest coat I had ever seen, I could barely move on it" She giggled "And when I wasn't playing in the rain I could stare it on the windows. My dad and I would look at the teardrops falling from the window and bet on which drop would be the first to go all the way down the window"
"How does that work?" Adrien asked, leaning as close to her, as it was possible in the tiny car.
"You choose a drop and wait for it to finish its path if your drop falls first you win," Marinette said, standing the obvious.
"Cool, let's play!" Adrien said excitedly.
"You are driving, Agreste" She reminded him.
"Do you see us moving?" Adrien crooked a brow at her.
Marinette smiled, amused.
This guy was unbelievable, he had all the cards to be a complete asshole and he was a ray of sunshine, a little kid who got excited by the most minimum things in life.
"Alright, alright. That's my drop!" Marinette pointed one of the drops on the top right of the windshield.
"That's mine!" Adrien shouted, pointing to a drop really close to the one Marinette chose.
"Don't miss it, or you will lose" Marinette warned.
"I won't lose, my dear Mari"
They started watching with extreme concentration their respective drops, following its' irregular path across the glass, turning bigger and bigger every time another drop stumbled in the way. Until the first drop touched the end of the glass, said drop belonged to Adrien, who couldn't stop his excitement and had celebrated by honking and scaring the hell out of Marinette.
Ten minutes later, after watching what seemed like a thousand of drops roll down the glass, getting their fingers cold of following the drops' paths, and multiple celebrations of Adrien (honking included) the cars started to move, finishing the game.
"I won!" Adrien exclaimed. Hands in the air, celebrating doing a little victory dance as seated, which made it ridiculous.
"Focus on the road!" Marinette took the handle, terrified of the lack of hands on it "And you did not! God you remind of someone when you act like this"
"I won the all around!" Adrien gasped, he looked insulted."This person must be a quite amazing then"
"Yeah, he is" She nodded, and gave a little sided smile to him "But let's focus on the subject here: The last one to win wins all, everybody knows it" She refuted.
"What? No, don't you watch sports?" Adrien huffed.
"Tons and this is no sport" Marinette's lips drew back in a snarl " My game, my rules, I won"
"That's cheating! I was never informed of these rules"
"You never asked" She grinned triumphantly.
"You are just mad because ye—" Adrien stopped mid sentence. He frowned and pursed his lips.
"Because?" Marinette asked. She made a move with her hand, encouraging him to talk.
"Nothing, it was something dumb, don't you worry," He said, giving a dashing smile, that made Marinette uncomfortable, she could feel the lie on his words. "I still won, though"
"Whatever you say" She rolled her eyes.
"C'mon, Mari, just admit it" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
"Listen, Adrien—" She was interrupted by Adrien's phone ringtone.
And that was the first hint of luck in all her week because she had been about to say mean words that Adrien didn't deserve, only to stop the uncomfortable sensation his lie had made her feel.
"We are here." Adrien said, cutting the uncomfortable silence.
"Finally" Marinette took her bag and her folders, ready to get out of the car. Looking at the sketchbooks and then to the front, where the rain fell on top of the glass as strong as bullets would, she sighed.
"Great, I will not only be late but I will be drenched. The water will ruin my sketches" She lamented.
Adrien grinned at her, and if he hadn't spoken as soon as he did, Marinette would have punched him. Ruined designs were nothing to joke about!
"Don't worry, I have one in the trunk." Adrien said "Just wait here as I get it"
"You are going to get all wet on the walk there." Marinette said low.
"I'm a tough cookie" He winked. Marinette blushed one more time. That motion was way too familiar, but she couldn't study it for long since he went out of the car almost immediately.
Adrien was nice, so, so nice.
She had to figure it out why her senses went all crazy, she had to figure it out, she had to know who Adrien Agreste really was, what he meant to her. She had to.
She had to understand why today he wasn't affecting her as he always did, she had to find an answer, she had to know more than what he knew about him, she needed more information than just knowing that she used to have a crush on him. This was top priority.
Three knocks on the window made her turn her head to the direction of the sound. Adrien was waiting for her outside.
Marinette opened the door carefully, grabbing her back, folders, and sketchbooks closer to her side, extending her hand to catch the hand Adrien was offering in help.
"Can you carry all that stuff?" He asked.
She could, but maybe it wasn't the best option if she walked with important designs on her hands when it was raining and the floor was slippery. Her clumsiness made her appearance at the worst moments.
"Uh…" She babbled
"Let's exchange, I'll take your stuff and you hold the umbrella. Sounds right?" He offered.
"Sounds great" Marinette nodded.
Still sitting, she gave Adrien her sketchbooks first. Then she made her way out of the car.
Already outside she lent him the rest of the folders, and she kept her bag.
Adrien then, extended his arm offering her the umbrella. Marinette did the same motion to catch the handgrip when her sight crashed into Adrien's eyes.
Her breath got caught in her throat and time stopped.
Drops of water ran through his hair and down his face, touching him as they were trying to remember his features; around his cheek bones, his strong jaw. They ran at the side of his brows, dropped from the bridge of his nose and made their way across his full lips. The soft rays of sunlight that leaked from the clouds hit him, what only made the teardrops on him shine brighter.
He was a vision and Marinette couldn't help but look; a vision that she had looked at before.
Adrien…
xx
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