Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been having trouble remembering where I was heading with this story before life changed for me. Now I'm having some medical troubles and find myself sleeping a lot more than I used to. Hopefully, I'll get that figured out soon. I do want you all to know that I plan to finish this story, it just will take time. Thanks for reading!
Tobias moves aside, and Mom and Dad enter the apartment. Tessa pops her head up from my lap when she hears Teagan announce their presence then gets up off the couch and runs to her grandmother. Mom quickly scoops her up and frowns as she hugs her close.
"Oh, you poor sweet girl," she says, pressing her lips to Tessa's forehead just like she used to do when Caleb and I were little. "You're hot." Tessa's smile evaporates and she lays her head on Mom's shoulder. It's almost like she just remembered she doesn't feel well.
"Everyone be warned," I say. "The kids are sick. All of them."
"Oh, your father did mention that last night. I forgot," Mom says, hugging Tessa closer. She puts her lips against her ear and says, "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."
"Tanks, Gamma."
"So, not that I'm not thrilled to have you here, but to what do we owe the pleasure?"
"I wanted to update you on my meeting with Dr. Parrish," Dad says. "I hope you don't mind the intrusion."
"You're always welcome here," Tobias says. "You know that."
"I came along so I could spend some time with the grandkids while you talk," Mom says. "But it looks like Tyler is good where he is." I look down at my sleeping boy and nod.
"He's had a rough day." The girls nod in agreement. "But I bet the girls would be happy to spend some time with you."
"You hear that, girls?" Tobias asks. "You get to spend extra time with your grandma."
"Yea!" Tessa says then starts coughing.
"I 'cited," Teags says from her father's arms, her head once again resting on his shoulder. I know she means it but she's lost her enthusiasm.
"Why don't you take them upstairs to their room," I say. "There are plenty of storybooks in there. You guys love to be read to, don't you?" They both nod.
"That sounds like a lovely idea," Mom says heading toward the stairway.
"I'll help your mom get Tessa and Teags settled, then I'll be right down," Tobias says, turning to follow behind Mom.
"I'm sorry again about not telling you what the meeting was about, Beatrice," Dad says.
"You don't have to apologize," I say. "I understand why things happened the way they did. Would I want to be blindsided like that again? No. But it couldn't be helped, and I get that now. I'm just disappointed that my family and I have to deal with her again whether she is allowed back into Dauntless or not. I honestly thought once she was locked up that I'd never have to deal with her again. I understand that a person with mental health issues can improve but I'm not sure if that describes her or not. I still think she could be playing the doctor."
"I know you've been worrying about her since she was released," Dad says. "And I'm sorry this is causing you more pain. If I had my way, she wouldn't have been released from the metal hospital or at the very least had her sentence transferred to the normal courts. I hate that she got a free pass for trying to kill you and helping that Molly girl."
"I know," I say with a sigh.
"We feel the same way," Tobias says, coming into the living room. "Can I get you anything while I'm still up, Andrew?"
"No, I'm good," he says.
"Actually, I need to use the bathroom," I say. "Can you take Tyler?"
"Sure," he says. He sits down next to me, and we carefully maneuver him onto Tobias' lap without waking him up
"I'll be right back," I say just as there's a knock on the door. "Crap! That's the groceries."
"I'll get it for you," Dad says.
"Thanks, Dad," I say as I rush into to the dining room. I duck into the little powder room just in the nick of time. After relieving myself and washing up, I come out to find Dad putting groceries away in the kitchen. Or trying to. "I'll do that."
"I didn't want anything to spoil," he says, looking lost. We chit chat about nothing special as I direct where things go.
"Where's my Mommy?" Tyler wails from the other room.
"Uh-oh," I say, abandoning my dad and the groceries. I turn the corner and find Tobias trying to calm a wailing, squirming Tyler.
"I'm right here," I say. He whips his head around and sucks in a few trembling breathes, tears streaming down his red face.
"Y-you say y-you wouldn't l-leave me," he sobs.
"Oh, Tyler." The minute I sit down, he scrambles into my arms and grasps me tightly. I kiss his forehead and frown at how warm he is. "Baby, can you check his temperature?" Tobias retrieves the thermometer off the coffee table and tries to place it in Tyler's ear but he's squirming around too much, still upset that I'd left him while he was sleeping. "Buddy, please calm down so Daddy can get your temperature. You know it doesn't hurt." He tries to catch his breath as tears stream down his face.
"I'll go get the medicine," Tobias murmurs, sounding a bit too much like his alter ego. Oh boy! He's not happy with our son at the moment. I probably shouldn't be either with how he's acting but I'm too worried there's something else wrong with him.
"Sshh," I whisper in Tyler's ear. "Mommy's got you."
"W-where you g-go? Y-you promise m-me you n-no go any," he sucks in a few more shuddering breaths, "w-where."
"Mommy had to go potty," I softly say, pulling him closer and wrapping his blanket around him. "I was only gone for a few minutes and your daddy had you." I caress his back but it does nothing to soothe him. "Buddy, you need to calm down. Close your eyes and breathe like mommy." He reluctantly shuts his eyes but syncs his breaths to mine and after a minute, he finally calms down.
"I waked up and you was gone," he says with sad, accusing blue eyes staring up at me.
"Like I said, I had to go potty, and I couldn't take you with me," I say. I brush his bangs off his forehead, and his eyes flutter shut just as Tobias steps into the room followed by Dad. "Don't go to sleep yet. We need to check your temperature, and you need to take your medicine." Tobias kneels in front of us and easily takes his temperature this time.
"101.1," he says after the beep then he measures the correct dosage of medication into the dropper. "Here you go, buddy." Tyler obediently opens his mouth and takes the grape-flavored liquid.
"Can I sleep now," he says, rubbing his eyes.
"Yes," I say.
"You promise not to leave," he sniffles.
"I would never leave you, Tyler," I say. "I love you so much."
"You did leave me," he says, his voice dripping with accusation. "You leaved me in my sleep." I watch as understanding lights Tobias' eyes. Unfortunately, I'm still in the dark.
"Tyler, did you have a bad dream about Mommy going away?" he asks.
"Yeah," he says with a little nod and a big pout. "And when I waked up she was gone and Bridget didn't know when she would be back. I thought she was gone forever." He had a bad dream. No wonder he's been clingy and inconsolable.
"My poor boy," I say, practically suffocating him with my embrace. "I will never willingly leave you, Tyler. Never. You understand?"
"Promise?"
"I promise," I say. "You're my son, and I love you more than you will ever know. Now, Mommy and Daddy have some business to talk over with Grandpa. You close your eyes and go to sleep. I'll wake you when it's time for some soup." He lets his eyes flutter closed thinking I must be telling him the truth. He snuggles into my chest and yawns widely but his death grip doesn't loosen until his breathing evens out, which doesn't take long. He's exhausted.
"Sorry about that. He's usually the least dramatic of the three," Tobias says as he takes his place on the couch beside me. He rests his arm behind me, pulling me closer to him.
"It's all right," Dad says. "I remember times like these."
"Thanks for putting the groceries away for us," I say.
"It was my pleasure once I figured out how you arranged things," he says. "I thought you would like to know about my meeting with Dr. Parrish."
"We'd like that very much," Tobias says.
"Well, first off, I requested Dr. Paxton leave his research with me. It's safely locked in my office. It's not that I don't trust him…"
"I don't," I interrupt. Dad frowns but continues.
"I know you don't," he says. "Like I was saying, it's not that I don't trust him, but I didn't want to give him the opportunity if he was tempted to alter his results."
"Good thinking, Andrew," Tobias says.
"I'm going to have copies made for each of the doctors on the review panel when the time comes, and I'm also making copies for a few of the council members who requested one. Would you two like a copy?" I look at Tobias?
"I don't think so," he says with a shake of his head. "The outline's good enough for us, right Tris?"
"Definitely," I agree.
"You'll need to make a copy for Zander though," Tobias says. "I want him to go over everything."
"He already made that request," Dad says.
"I figured he did but I thought I'd ask," Tobias says. "What else did you talk about?"
"He provided me with the names of 10 doctors that work at the hospital who he feels are trustworthy. The majority are in the psychiatric field but a few others are in general medicine, meaning they deal with some mental health issues in their practices but not on a daily basis. Also, Caleb is going to get me the names of a few of the psych teachers at the medical school tomorrow. I'm particularly interested in knowing if any of Dr. Paxton's professors are still teaching."
"Good idea," I say.
"I'm hoping for at least three doctors with as much knowledge if not more than Dr. Paxton to sit on the review board but I'd prefer five or maybe even seven."
"What do you think of having five doctors, one from each faction?" I ask. "Zander could be Dauntless' rep."
"We could also add two professors," Tobias says. "That would get you the number you want, Andrew."
"I like it," Dad says, beaming at me. "I have to be honest, Beatrice. I was upset the day you and your brother chose different factions. I know I didn't hide the fact from you, I couldn't at that moment, and I'm sorry for that. But I am so proud of the woman you've become. You are the best of us on the counsel." I feel my face heating at his praise. I've never sought out my father's approval but it's nice to have anyway.
"You don't have to apologize, Dad," I say. At a loss for words, I return the conversation to this morning's meeting. "I just hope the panel can be impartial."
"I agree," Tobias says. "From what I understand, the psychiatry community is a relatively small and close knit group."
"That's why I had Dr. Parrish give me some general doctor's names," Dad says. "I think they can be just as knowledgeable and will be more impartial since they don't deal with Dr. Paxton on a regular basis. I'm glad you thought to include him, Four."
"He's a great friend and very knowledgeable when it comes to matters like this," he says. "I know I've said this before, but I trust him. I doubt I will fully trust anyone else's judgement."
"Will the same doctors do her evaluation" I ask.
"I think that would be best," Dad says. "They have to go over her charts and interview her in detail according to Dr. Parrish. It more than likely will be an all-day affair."
"Will it be open to the public?" Tobias asks.
"I'm not sure," Dad says. "Medical records are usually confidential but since Dr. Paxton raised this issue, the counsel can make a case for all interviews and reports to become public record."
"I thirsty, Mommy," Tyler mutters as he slowly opens his eyes. He clears his throat then starts coughing.
"I'll get him a drink," Tobias says. "Water or juice?"
"Water for now," I say, patting Tyler's back. "Are you all right, buddy?"
"No," he moans. "I need a drink."
"Here," Tobias says, handing a small cup to Tyler. He takes it and drinks it right down then hands it back to his father.
"Thank you, Daddy," he says then snuggles back against my chest.
"Is there anything else, Andrew?" Tobias asks when he returns from the kitchen.
"Can we not talk about this now," I say, looking down at Tyler. I can tell he's awake, and I don't want talk of the bitch to worry him. Dad and Tobias immediately catch my drift.
"That was basically all I had for you anyway," Dad says.
"I'll call Zander and talk to him tomorrow," Tobias says.
"Could you include me in the call?" Dad says. "We can set up tentative dates for the panel of doctors to meet."
"I sure can," Tobias says. "Would you and Natalie like to stay for dinner? We're having chicken noodle soup Bridget made, BLT wraps, and fruit salad. We have plenty."
"That would be nice, Four," Dad says.
"Are you hungry, Tyler?" I ask. He shakes his head. "Do you need another drink?"
"Yeah."
"Would you like some apple juice this time?"
"Yes, please." His tiny voice twists my heart. He needs to get better soon. Footsteps coming down the stairs alerts me to Tessa and Teagan before I see them.
"Mama," Tessa whines. "I hungwy."
"It's definitely time for supper," Tobias says as he hands Tyler a sippy cup of apple juice.
"Thanks, Daddy."
"You're welcome, buddy," he says.
"Four asked us to stay for supper, Natalie," Dad says to Mom.
"Oh, I'll help you," she says.
"No, that's all right," he says. "Sit down and relax. Supper will be ready in a little bit. Can you wait, Pebbles?"
"Otay," she sighs as she comes up to me. "Up, Mama." I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her up next to me. She leans against my side, and I feel her and Tyler staring at each other. I pray they don't start fighting.
"Mama," Teagan whines from the other side of the coffee table. "Sit too?"
"You have your hands full, don't you?" Dad chuckles.
"Teags, do you want to sit with Grandma?" Mom asks, trying to help. Teagan mumbles something that sounds an awful lot like "I want my mama" but it's hard to tell with her trembling bottom lip.
"Can you sit her on this side of me, Mom?" I ask.
"Of course," Mom says. She picks up Teags, who squirms until she sits next to me. She wraps both arms around my one arm and sighs.
"Are you all comfortable?" I ask. I feel three little heads nod.
"Where are you going to put 2 more?" Tobias asks. I look up and find him leaning against the wall next to the fireplace.
"I don't know," I say. "Hopefully, they'll want you."
"I doubt it," he says with a chuckle. "Supper's ready. Kids, I need you to get up to the table."
"But I want Mommy," Tyler whines. "Can I sit with her?"
"I wanna sit with Mama," Tessa says.
"Me, too," Teags says.
"Sorry guys. You need to sit at the table and eat. My laps not that big," I say. "We'll all snuggle after we're done, okay? Maybe we'll even watch a movie." They start crying. I sigh. I meet Tobias' gaze and can read his thoughts. It's going to be a very long night. "Guys, I know you're not feeling well. I'm so sorry but you said you're hungry, Tessa. Why don't you go with Daddy?" She looks up at me then holds her arms out to Tobias.
"Come here, Pebbles," he says as he lifts her into his arms.
"Teags, are you hungry?" I ask and she nods.
"Why don't you go with Grandma?" Mom is sitting on the end of the couch and Teagan looks at her. After a beat she crawls into her lap and mom takes her into the kitchen.
"You ready for supper, buddy?"
"Yes," Tyler says. "But I think I only want soup. Is that okay?"
"Of course, it is," I say as I manage to get off the couch with him still in my arms. I sit him in his chair, which is next to mine tonight and then take my seat. It's a relatively quiet meal. Tobias and I visit with Mom and Dad while the kids eat. Tessa and Teags both fall asleep before they finish their soup, and Tyler's head keeps bobbing up and down.
"I'm going to put the kids in bed," Tobias says as he picks up Teagan.
"Just the girls for now. We'll put Tyler to bed when we go upstairs," I say. "And don't forget to bring the monitor down."
"Okay," he says from the stairs.
"Would you like some coffee or lemonade?" I ask Mom and Dad.
"Actually we need to be getting home. It's been a long day," Dad says. "Thank you for supper. It was very delicious."
"Bridget is an excellent cook. She spoils us," I say. "If you can wait until Four gets the girls in bed, he'll take you home."
"Oh, we don't want to impose," Mom says. "Besides, the buses are still running. There's no need for him to take us."
"Are you sure?" I ask. "It's no imposition."
"We'll be fine," Dad says. I hug both my parents, lingering with Dad.
"I'm sorry I was disrespectful today," I say, ashamed. "You didn't deserve that no matter the circumstances. I know you would never deliberately hurt me. I was just shocked. I still am to tell you the truth."
"I'm sorry again, too," he says. "You better move Tyler before he falls off his chair."
"Oh!" I turn to find his head practically resting on his shoulder, his body gently swaying back and forth. I heft him into my arms as I look at Tessa. She's curled up in a ball on her chair. I take Tyler into the living room and lie him down on the end of the couch and cover him with his blanket then go back for Tessa. The minute I lift her up she wakes up.
"Mama," she says, looking around confused.
"You fell asleep, little one," I say. "Are you still hungry?" She shakes her head then lies it on my shoulder. "Grandma and Grandpa are getting ready to leave. Do you want to say bye?"
"Bye, Gamma," she says around a wide yawn. "Bye, Gampa. Love you."
"We love you, too," Mom says as she kisses her forehead. "We'll see you soon."
"Tanks for weading to me," Tessa says.
"You're very welcome, sweet girl," Mom says. I walk Mom and Dad to the door, say my final goodbyes, and watch as they leave then lock the apartment up tight. I sit down and melt into the couch cushions. Not only do I have to worry about who sent those pictures of my children and why, what Shauna, Lynn, and Hector's father is up to, and why Oliver joined Dauntless and why he looks so much like Al but I have to deal with the possibility the bitch will be let back into Dauntless against my wishes.
I take a couple deep, cleansing breaths, trying to clear my mind but the damn meeting is all I can think of right now. I go over every single detail in my mind while I absentmindedly rub Tessa's back, putting her back to sleep. Is the bitch really different or is she playing the doctor? Did making her factionless contribute to her supposed breakdown or is she just a really good actress? Will the doctors listen to reason or will they side with Paxton just because they think doctors are all knowing and all powerful?
"Why is this happening?" I mutter to myself just as Tobias comes into the living room.
"You okay?" he asks.
"There's too much going on right now," I say. "I guess I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed."
"I'm sorry," he says. "Let me take Tessa." He gently lifts her and she doesn't make a peep. "Are you sure you don't want me to put Tyler in bed next?"
"Not yet," I say. "That dream really threw him for a loop. I don't want him waking up and being all alone again. I think it traumatized him."
"He'll be fine," he says.
"I sure hope so," I murmur, more to myself than him.
"Love?" I look up and meet his eyes. "He'll be fine." He's very sure of himself. I nod but I'm still not convinced. "I'll be back soon." I scoot up next to Tyler and check to make sure the blanket isn't too warm for him. It feels like a sauna in here too me but he seems comfortable. I lean back into the couch cushions and stretch my legs out, resting them on the coffee table. I move my hands to my abdomen and rub them over my bump and let my eyes close. Now that the house is quiet, I realize just how tired I am. I'm sure part of it is the stress of the day but a larger part is carrying the twins. This will probably be a normal occurrence from now on.
"Are you asleep?" Tobias quietly asks.
"No," I murmur. "Just resting my eyes." My lids flutter open after a moment, and I find him leaning over me, his face close to mine. He lowers himself onto the couch next to me and puts his arm around me.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asks as he covers my hands with one of his own.
"Yeah," I say, letting my head rest against his shoulder.
"What's on your mind?"
"I'm trying to not have anything on my mind," I say. "I just want to enjoy this quiet time with my husband." He leans back and looks at me, his brows furrowed. "What?"
"You had one hell of a surprise today," he says. "We both did. Add that on top of everything else we've been dealing with lately, and I thought you'd want to talk." I groan and turn into him. He wraps both arms around me and hugs me tight. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't push."
"No. You're right," I say. "We should talk about this then maybe I'll be able to sleep instead of stewing all night." We talk for a couple hours, rehashing everything that's happened since initiation started, beginning with Al's lookalike and ending with the possibility of having to let the bitch back into Dauntless.
"I know we haven't come to any magical conclusions, that would be too easy, but don't you feel better?"
"I do. Thanks for making me talk about everything," I say. "Let's take Tyler to his room." We untangle our arms and legs and get to our feet.
"Ooh!" My hands go to my abdomen and I freeze.
"What's wrong, love?"
"I think I just felt the babies move," I say, beaming up at my husband. "It's that little bubbly feeling I felt with Teags at first." Giggles burst from my lips as I feel the twins move again. "There it is again. Oh, baby, I wish you could feel it."
"I'll be able to feel them soon enough," he says, a warm smile on his face. "I'm glad you get to experience this. It makes it real, doesn't it?"
"Well, puking my guts out morning, noon, and night and experiencing something similar to bipolar symptoms was a bit of a hint," I say. "But, yeah, feeling them move makes it real. It's two little babies in here." I look over to Tyler, who has been sound asleep since supper. "Five kids, Tobias. Five. What are we going to do?"
"I remember you saying almost the exact same thing when you were pregnant with Teags," he says. "You would freak out over having three kids. Now look at us, we're practically experts." I burst out laughing.
"You're crazy if you think we have parenting handled," I say, shaking my head, although I can't lose the grin I'm wearing. "We're outnumbered, baby. When these two are born, we're really going to be outnumbered."
"I'm not worried," he says.
"Mm-hm."
"Mommy?" We turn in unison and find Tyler sitting up, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat.
"Oh, buddy. Did you get too hot?" I ask.
"I thirsty again," he whines.
"I'll get him some water," Tobias says. I sit back down on the couch and Tyler climbs into my lap. He's nearly soaked through.
"I think your fever might have broken," I say, placing my lips to his forehead. He's no longer feverish. "How are you feeling?"
"I tired and thirsty," he says. "What was you laughing about?"
"Did I wake you up?" I ask. He nods. "I'm sorry. Daddy said something funny, and it made me laugh."
"What he say?"
"Oh, it was nothing."
"Here you go, buddy," Tobias says as he comes back into the living room. He hands Tyler a cup of water, who drinks it right down. "Are you ready for bed?'
"Do I have to?" he asks.
"You just told me you were tired," I say.
"Can I sleep with you tonight?" he asks, giving me his best pleading puppy dog eyes.
"How about I lie down with you until you go back to sleep?" I ask.
"Okay," he says with a sigh.
"Come on," Tobias says as he lifts Tyler off my lap and into his arms.
"I want Mommy," he says, tears gathering in his eyes.
"Hey, I'm right here," I say, reaching up to take his hand. "I'll walk with you, okay." He puts his head on Tobias' shoulder and lets the tears flow. He obviously still doesn't feel well even though his fever broke.
"Can I get you another drink before I turn out the lights?" I ask after getting Tyler ready and into bed. He shakes his head. "Okay." I turn out the overhead light, making sure that his campfire nightlight is on then lie down beside him. He turns towards me and snuggles closely. "Go to sleep, my sweet boy. Mommy loves you to the moon and back."
"Million times," he murmurs around a big yawn, which makes me smile.
"Yes. A million times." I kiss the top of his head. "I love you, buddy."
"Daddy, loves you, too," Tobias says, leaning over me to kiss his head. "I love you, too, Tris."
"I shouldn't be too long," I whisper then watch him leave the room. I turn back towards Tyler, slowly run my fingers through his hair and start humming a soft lullaby in hopes that he drifts of quickly. The next thing I know, Tobias is lifting me out of Tyler's bed and carries me into our bedroom.
"Go back to sleep, love," he says, sleep thick in his voice. I look at the clock and see that it's nearly 3 a.m. "We both fell asleep." He lies me down on my side of bed and starts to slide my pants off.
"Too tired," I groan, causing him to chuckle.
"I'm just getting you more comfortable," he says as he tosses my pants to the side. "Bra?" I grunt in reply, and he takes that as a yes. He slides his hands under me and expertly unhooks my bra then manages to extract it through the armholes without making me move. He's a good husband. He then pulls the sheet up around me and kisses my temple. "Goodnight, love."
"'Night," I murmur as I give into sweet sleep.
