Happy Thanksgiving

Chapter 35

Ed placed a fresh glass of water on Olivia's nightstand before handing her one of the sedatives she was given at the hospital. He sat on the edge of the mattress and watched as she bit the pill in half and swallowed. Ed gave her a questioning look.

"I wanna sleep, but I don't wanna be groggy," she explained, setting the glass back down and reaching out to play with his fingers. Ed let her do as she wanted for a few moments before he leaned over to kiss her lips and gripped her hands tightly in his.

"How ya feelin'?" His eyes scanned her face and he couldn't help but wince every time he looked at the deep purple tint that her cheekbone and eye now had.

"Tired," she admitted softly. "But I don't want to close my eyes quite yet."

Ed's heart cracked a little. Squeezing her hands one last time, he moved over to his side of the bed, crawled under the covers, and pulled her securely into his chest. Olivia laid perfectly still for a few minutes and Ed thought she may have dozed off until she shifted slightly, took a deep breath, and lifted her head slightly so she could dazedly look into Ed's eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Ed didn't answer. Instead he reached up and traced her entire face with his index finger, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Ed?"

"I want you to rest," he finally answered, kissing her forehead. "We have plenty of time to talk about how I'm doing…but I just want you to rest."

Olivia didn't move, continuing to gaze at him. She knew the sedative would kick in soon, but she could feel Ed's racing heartbeat and desperately wanted to calm him down.

"I will," she said slowly. "But I want you to rest too."

Ed finally took one hand and rubbed his face, before settling them back into the pillows and guiding her head to his chest, playing lightly with her earlobe. "Right now I'm just relieved," he rasped softly. "Incredibly relieved. I know we'll have to rehash other feelings later, and we have a lot to work through. But for now, for tonight, I just want to be relieved."

Pushing her tears down, Olivia nodded her head and nestled it under Ed's chin.

"Okay," she said sleepily. Ed pulled the comforter up and tucked it around their necks so they were fully ensconced and secure. After a few minutes, he felt Olivia's breathing even out signaling she had drifted off to sleep. Closing his eyes, Ed reminded himself that he had everyone under one roof and they were all safe and secure. The more he convinced himself of that, the heavier his body began to feel as the emotion of the day turned into pure exhaustion. Kissing Olivia's head one more time, Ed finally allowed his eyes to close and he fell into a deep slumber, never releasing Olivia from his grasp.


Around three-thirty, Emma gave up on tossing and turning on the couch, grabbed a soda from Olivia's fridge, popped a pill, and settled in to watch a Netflix show with a very low volume. Olivia's tree was still up, something she had embarrassingly laughed about the other day, but Emma found the lighting to be comforting that night. She curled up in the corner of the couch, which seemed to be her new habit no matter where she was, and pretended to pay attention to the story being told on the screen.

She must have dozed off because the sound of the ice machine startled her and she gasped as the sat up.

"Sorry," Olivia rasped, her voice heavy with sleep. "I forgot to switch it to water…"

Emma rubbed her eyes. "It's okay, Olivia," she said quietly. "I must have dozed off."

Olivia filled her water glass and stumbled around the counter to the couch, sitting down more towards the middle and closer to Emma.

"What's on?" Olivia took a big gulp of water and sat it on the side table, stretching her legs out in front of her.

Emma eyed her for a little bit. Her cheek looked worse and from the way she moved, Emma could tell Olivia was incredibly sore.

"Documentary. British monarchy," Emma said, a slightly embarrassed smile. "I'm a little enamored…"

Both woman sat in silence, blankly staring at the television, before Emma shifted again.

"Were you scared?" Her voice was soft and childlike. As Olivia contemplated her answer, she looked over and studied Emma's face and was reminded that she was still young, and still reeling from an unimaginable trauma in her own life. Olivia felt she had no choice but to be honest.

"I was," she said softly, reaching over to grasp Emma's hand. "But I had to concentrate. I had a job to do. But…yes, I was scared. It was hard to not think about Noah. Your dad. You. Nate."

Emma's eyes looked a little surprised. "You thought about us?"

Squeezing her hand tighter, Olivia ignored the soreness and twisted her body a bit so she was facing Emma directly. "Of course," she whispered, feeling Emma's hands shaking in hers. "What has you awake?"

Emma swallowed and looked down, unsure how to answer the question.

"Have you been asleep at all?"

"A little," she offered. "Just took another pill."

"Are they helping?"

Emma grunted. "Not sure much is gonna help right now."

Studying Emma's face, Olivia let the comment sit for a little bit, for she had no rebuttal. With the hostage situation so close and fresh on everyone's minds, she also didn't feel like now was the healthiest time for them to rehash. Olivia was tired and sore, Emma was barely hanging on, and Ed was grasping Olivia's pillow while he slept fitfully in her bedroom.

"I hear that," Olivia finally said before yawning.

"You should go back to bed," Emma said softly, rubbing Olivia's forearm.

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked. She did want to crawl back in with Ed, but something about the look in Emma's eyes had her feeling as if she should stay on the couch for a little longer.

But Emma gave her a soft smile. "I'm sure," she said.

Olivia slowly stood up, wincing a little bit as she moved her body around. As she walked away, Emma called her name softly.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

She stood up, walked slowly over to Olivia, and wrapped her in a soft hug. Olivia had to swallow her tears as she wrapped her arms around Emma and kissed the side of her head.

"I'm so glad you're okay," Emma whispered, before pulling back and giving Olivia a soft smile. "Now, go sleep."

Olivia returned the smile and cupped Emma's cheek for a few seconds. "You too."

Alone again, Emma wrapped her arms around herself and began to look around the living room. Knowing she hadn't taken a pill that long ago, she found herself making her way back to the bathroom and picking up the bottle. Her mind was still conflating the last 7 months and it was becoming too much to handle. Popping another pill, she collapsed back onto the couch and texted Amanda out in California, on the off chance that she was still awake.


The next morning Olivia groaned as she rolled over and blindly felt around the bed for Ed. Realizing his side of the bed was empty, she rubbed her eyes and sat up slowly, trying to focus her vision.

Hearing her moan, Ed came darting out of the bathroom in his boxers, shaving cream covering half of his face. "What's wrong?" His voice was almost frantic as he looked over her body.

Olivia gave him a smile. "Nothing," she said. "Just trying to move. A little sore."

Ed let out a breath and smiled, brushing her hair back. "Sit tight," he said. "Let me finish this shaving job and I'll get you whatever you need."

Olivia nodded and leaned back against the headboard, watching Ed's shadow move around the bathroom. "You have to go in?" She called out, taking a sip of last night's water and wincing at the hoarse sound of her voice.

"Yeah. They need me to do a little paperwork from yesterday," he explained hesitantly, splashing his freshly shaven face with water and using Olivia's hand towel to dry it, inhaling her scent guiltlessly. A few minutes later, he wandered back out and found Olivia standing up and slowly pulling a hoodie over her head. "Here," he said softly, helping get her situated. "Coffee?"

"Exactly where I was headed," she said with a smile. "You get dressed."

Ed kissed her lips, watched her shuffle out of the room, and smiled when he heard her say good morning to Emma. He quickly finished his routine, threw on fresh suit pants and a white button down, and headed out to join the girls.

"Morning," he said, rounding the counter to kiss Emma's head. "Sleep okay?"

"Like a baby," she said, rolling her eyes and sipping the coffee Olivia had placed in front of her. Ed gave her a funny look before heading back into the kitchen and joining his girlfriend.

Olivia reached up and traced his face. "Smooth," she commented with a smirk. But her smirk was a little more dull than usual, at least the Ed. He couldn't quite get past the injuries to her face. "It's okay, Ed" she said, correctly sensing his displeasure at the idea of leaving her at home this soon after a traumatic event. "I'm gonna take it easy. Be lazy with Noah today."

"You're still so sore…" Ed whispered, his finger once again gravitating to her eye. "And this…just keeps looking worse."

"That's how bruises work, honey," she said softly, her eyes cutting over and analyzing Emma's face. She sat emotionless, staring into her beverage. Nodding in that direction, Ed followed her gaze and frowned.

"Em?" He asked, releasing Olivia from his arms and leaning over the counter. "What's your day like?"

"I'm not sure," she murmured, pulling out her phone and checking her class schedule.

"Anything you can't miss?"

Emma's eyes darted up to Ed's. He never suggested her missing school. "You're gonna let me skip?"

"No," Ed said slowly. "I'm going to let you stay home, get some rest, and help Olivia."

"Does Olivia want me to stay and help Olivia?" Emma asked, looking over at the older woman and trying to gauge her reaction. Ed's idea had surprised them both.

"I'd love that," she said softly.

"Okay," Emma shrugged, dropping her phone back onto the counter.

Ed gave Olivia a relieved smile and went to grab his iPad. "Great, I'll email the school."


Ed and Noah were sitting at the dining room table when Olivia returned from a mandated therapy appointment, covered in snow flakes as a storm was moving in that evening. It had been two days since the Utley situation, but Olivia's first visit to Lindstrom. She shook off her boots in the foyer of Ed's apartment, hung her jacket on a hook, and padded her way into the large, open living and dining area.

"Mama!" Noah exclaimed, holding up his giant, cardboard cards.

"Hi sweet boy," she said, kissing his head and lifting him so he was sitting on her lap. "Playing your new matching game?"

Noah nodded and looked to Ed for him to put down the next card. It was a game Emma had purchased him for Christmas, during her shopping trip with Olivia.

"Red bird," Ed said slowly, pointing at the photo on the card. "Can you find the other red bird?"

Olivia smiled at her son's face as he concentrated on looking at the other cards. Despite a heavy therapy session, she couldn't help the peace that washed over her body as she sat with her son and ever-patient boyfriend, watching them bond. Noah finally found the card and his face lit up as Ed praised him and Olivia kissed at his cheeks.

"How was it?" Ed asked once Noah climbed down and ran over to his toy basket, clearly done with the game.

"Okay," she said softly. "A lot to work through. We didn't get very far."

Ed grunted and reached over to grab her hand. "Can't imagine ya did. We still haven't even talked about what happened in that townhouse."

Olivia bit her lip and nodded. "I know," she whispered. "Not yet, please," she pleaded. "I just…"

"Hey," Ed whispered, moving around pulling Olivia up and into his arms. "There's no pressure. At all."

Olivia leaned up and kissed his lips. "Do you mind if I lay down a bit in your room?" She yawned on cue, as if Ed needed any kind of convincing. "Maybe Noah will nap with me. Do you have to go back in?"

Ed had cut out early that day to watch Noah, as Emma needed to be at school and despite staying home and helping Olivia the day before, she had closed herself off again.

"Nah, I can check in from here," he said. "Emma should be home soon, too."

Olivia nodded and curled up in Ed's chest for a bit longer. "I'm worried about her."

Ed just grunted. "I'm worried about you."

Patting his chest, Olivia gave him a soft smile. "I'll be okay, baby," she whispered, kissing him once more. "I have you."

Ed threaded his fingers through her hair and kissed her more deeply before turning her around and giving her a playful pat on the butt before directing her to his room.

"Go get changed," he said. "I'll wrangle the little guy."


Ed had just replaced the lid on his brass, oversized pot after giving the veggie chili a stir when he heard the door open and a few thuds, indicating Emma was home. He rounded the corner of the kitchen and went to help her, picking up the bag she had dropped while trying to take off her wet, snowy outer layers.

"It's so gross out there," she mumbled, pulling her hair up, finally down to leggings, a sweatshirt, and fuzzy socks.

Ed kissed her forehead and ushered her to a stool at the bar. "Want a drink?"

"No," said, rubbing her arms. "I'm okay for now. But thanks." She looked around the room, noticing remnant of Noah. "Noah and Olivia here?"

"They are," Ed said softly. "Asleep back in my room."

Nodding, Emma took out her phone and pulled a few things up. "Listen, dad, I was talking to Amanda," she said, turning her phone around and showing him her Delta app. "I have enough miles to go see her this weekend, ya know, because it's a long weekend."

Ed let out a sigh and looked at the flight she had pulled up. "Em, I don't know," he said slowly. "It's not the best time…"

Narrowing her eyes, Emma pulled her phone back. "Why not?"

"There's just a lot happening."

Emma let out a huff and rolled her eyes. "There's been 'a lot happening' for a long time," she argued.

Ed carefully considered his next words and tried to offer a compromise. "How about we look at your spring break? You could go for the full week. And I'd pay for it, so you could save your miles."

Emma let out a frustrated groan. "I just…I really just need to get away right now," she finally admitted, her voice cracking a bit as she stood up and moved into the living room. Ed followed, trying to figure out how to approach the situation.

"I know you want to get away," Ed said. "My hesitance isn't about that, but…is LA really the best idea? And it's not…well it's not really about you right now, either."

As soon as the words came out, Ed realized his mistake because Emma's body jolted and her eyes narrowed.

"Wait, I didn't mean that the way it sounded…"

"I haven't asked for anything," she finally spat out. "Nothing. I moved back here with you. I changed schools. I've gone to therapy. I've smiled and 'moved on.' And I've stayed out of the way, getting to know Olivia, so I didn't disrupt your life."

"Emma…" Ed gasped, guilt settling deep as he realized how she had been feeling. He moved towards her but she threw her hands up and stopped him, taking some deep breaths.

In the back of the house, Olivia had stirred at the noise and after checking that Noah was still sound asleep, she packed pillows around him and tip-toed out of the room, stopping abruptly in the hallway as she heard the exchange.

"Emma, I just meant that there's a lot to consider," he reasoned.

"Oh but Nate can just do whatever the hell he wants?"

Ed's head snapped up and he went to respond, but Emma cut him off.

"He's out in California, living his life, and NO ONE has questioned that. He missed Thanksgiving, rarely calls me, has all these support groups. But I'm supposed to be just fine, to do what is best for everyone."

"Emma that's not the case and you know it."

Olivia had made her way slowly into the living room, sensing how this was escalating and knowing Ed was struggling to keep control of the impending meltdown.

"Oh is it?" Emma watched as Olivia rubbed Ed's back lightly before moving between the two of them, but she wasn't given a chance to say anything.

"Have you forgotten that my mother, my best friend, not only died…but died ON TOP OF ME."

Tears sprang to Olivia's eyes and she moved to Emma, trying to take her arm, but Emma yanked it away.

"She was SHOT on top of me. Nobody was there. NOBODY. I was all by myself. And now…now Nate doesn't come home, and you go to work," she said, looking to Ed before turning Olivia. "and…and…you," she gasped, trying to catch her breath. "You are…I…I like you…I love you…but you just…"

Ed and Olivia couldn't do anything but watch as the tears finally began streaming down Emma's face and she wrapped her arms around herself, body shaking, trying to put her feelings into words. They had talked at length, multiple times, about how to try and get her to open up, how she never mentioned that night and what had happened. Ed would point out she was likely dealing with it in therapy, but Olivia remained convinced that they would get to a point where it would come out. And despite witnessing the pain that Emma was in, and feeling it crack her heart open, Olivia felt a tiny amount of relief that she was finally talking. Finally crying. Finally saying anything. But it wasn't over.

"What is it, Emma?" Olivia's voice was soft. Ed watched in shock, unsure how to respond, but Olivia switched quickly into crisis mode. "Tell me. Tell us. It's okay."

"I can't handle losing you too," she finally said, sobs beginning to overtake her body. "Either of you. And you both…you both just walk right into these places…and there are…are…guns…where you go, where you work…and…and…"

"Jesus," Ed said, running his hand over his face and finally feeling the reality of their situation sink in.

"Oh Emma," Olivia said, moving to hug her, but Emma threw her hands up.

"No," she said. "Don't touch me. I can't do this."

"Sweetheart," Ed said, finally unfreezing himself, but Emma was having none of it.

"I need some air," she spat, pushing past them and throwing her outer wear back on.

"Emma wait," Ed said, going to the foyer. "Let's just talk this through."

"I'm done talking," she yelled. "I don't want to do this!"

Ed reached out to grasp her elbow, preventing her from leaving.

"LET ME GO!" Emma screamed, causing Olivia to run up and wrap her arms around Ed, soothingly rubbing his chest.

"It's okay," she whispered to him. "It's okay." She turned to Emma and gave her a teary smile and nod. "Let her get some air, okay? Do you have your phone?"

Emma looked between the two of them, her eyes dazed as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. She felt herself want to run to them and apologize, to talk more, but the idea of being close to Olivia, and even her dad, in that moment scared her. So Emma nodded, wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck, and darted out of the apartment.

"Liv…" Ed gasped, his hands shaking as he stared at the closed door. They could hear the ding of the elevator as they stood in silence.

"Okay," she said, turning him around and crashing into his chest. Tears streamed down Olivia's face as she held Ed. "It's okay."

He held her to him tightly, almost too tightly, but she didn't care.

"What do I do?" He finally whispered into her hair. Olivia shook her head, searching for words, but the sound of tiny footsteps interrupted their moment.

"Mama?"

Pulling herself out of Ed's arms, Olivia wiped at her face before going to Noah, who was standing at the end of the hall, his bed head sticking out all directions. Ed watched as she scooped him up and cuddled him, kissing at his face. He rubbed his face vigorously before checking his phone, the first of many times that evening he would look for a notification from Emma and not see one.