Junkrat always appreciated people who were down to earth, so he supposed at the very least he should be thankful that Symmetra didn't waste time dancing around the subject. As soon as she was sure she had his attention, or as much as she was likely to ever get, she launched right in.
"Winston made a valid point at the end of the last briefing, and as such I wish to rectify any remaining issues between myself and Lucio... however, he seems... unreceptive to my attempts."
"Well that's one way of puttin' it..." Junkrat said dryly, stooping to pick up his detonator. He toyed with it, flicking the safety back and forth with his thumb while he spoke, keeping his hands occupied. "He was as mad as a cut snake when ya barged in, never seen him like that before... never really thought he could be like that, ya know? Reckon if he was easy to tick off he'd have thrown a few more choice words me way, I have that effect on people..."
"I suspect it is a result of Vishkar's presence in the favelas of Rio, he clearly does not approve of my association with them..." she said slowly, clearly weighing the problem.
He didn't understand how she stood so still while she talked, arms folded and body held as if carved from stone. His own legs itched to move, to pace, to do anything other than just stand here like a perfect target. Focusing on his hands helped, but could not cure his restlessness entirely. No, he needed to think, to answer her... he chewed at his lip, trying his best. "Way he puts it Vishkar waltzed in and tried to tear his home down... I'd understand bein' a bit pissed at 'em."
Junkrat's eyes flicked up, ready to gauge her reaction but Symmetra seemed distracted, she was watching the detonator with a cautious expression. His fingers twitched over the trigger like they usually did, a reflective motion he'd never managed to cure himself of. It must have genuinely concerned her because she ignored her earlier trail of thought, instead asking him, "That's not... live, is it?"
"What? This?" Junkrat said, glancing down at the detonator as if only just realizing he held it. "Nah. Ain't hooked up to anything... not yet, anyways."
"I see..." She shook herself, finding her place again like nothing had occurred. "As I was saying his thoughts on Vishkar are irrelevant, the problem is his inability to work with me. You appear to have ingrained yourself with him, so I was hopeful that you might have some insight, perhaps you know how I could reason with him..."
Junkrat scowled. "The hell would I know?"
"I was hoping-"
"Look," Junkrat said, holding up his hands to stall her, "ya know I'd help if had any idea how but I ain't got a bleedin' clue. Vishkar fucked with his home and he thinks ya were a part of that, not somethin' he's just gonna roll over an' forget."
"I was a part of it, I suppose," she admitted, "though I was only doing what I thought was right at the time. We were making a better world, a brighter future... you understand, don't you?"
Junkrat shifted his weight, boot tapping on the ground as he mulled it over. "Eh... can't exactly relate but... I know ya ain't heartless if that's what ya mean... ya always listen when I drop by, don't act like I'm crazy, never tell me to piss off or... have a convenient thing ya have to go do like half the others." He giggled to himself. "They think I don't pick up on that. Point is it's not like I agree with him but I can't just tell him ta go easy on ya, he won't bite. I can't help."
She pursed her lips for a moment, standing in quiet thought. Eventually she said, "It concerns you that if you side with me then Lucio may no longer wish to be friends with you."
"Bleedin' hell! That ain't what I'm tryin' to say here..." he snapped, attempting to fight down the frustration that was threatening to bubble forth. He'd already yelled at Roadie today, he didn't need to start making a habit of it. Shit. Junkrat took a deep breath and tried again, a little calmer. "What I'm sayin' is he doesn't really know ya, he just knows Vishkar and what they've done... sees you as just an extension of that, some Sheila what keeps to herself and shoots snooty looks at people... no offense meant. I can't fix that for ya, I dunno what you want me to do."
"So the problem is that he has not had ample opportunity to form an opinion on me as a person... yet that is difficult to correct when he turns me away every time I attempt to start a conversation."
"Like I said, I dunno what ya want me to do... I ain't really equipped for it." He lifted his arms again helplessly, willing her to understand his position. It didn't help that he could see how much she wanted him to do something, to step in and fix things for her... and damn it, he really felt like he ought to do something... but he couldn't see a solution for the life of him. And really, none of this should matter, and he shouldn't care... but Junkrat knew with a sinking feeling that it would be very hard to truly convince himself of that ever again.
Overwatch was messing with his head. Feeling like this would have gotten him killed five years ago. That thought alone could have made him panic but he silenced it - after all Roadhog had proven that some people could be trusted and nothing bad had happened so far... the trouble was he still had no idea what he was doing, and that was precisely the sort of situation his instincts screamed at him to get out of. If you got in over your head you died... or, well, he would have...
Junkrat liked it here. Or at least he thought he did. He liked actually getting to talk to people for no particular reason and knowing they wouldn't disappear the next day, getting to tease a smile out of them with a poorly timed pun, joining in card games he didn't know the rules to or competing for the most unlikely story when people started boasting. He liked getting to blow stuff up and get paid for it, plus having all the materials he could wish for at his disposal. He liked Hana and Lucio. He liked games nights, and those small moments when he thought that maybe he mattered to someone other than himself...
But fear clung like dirt to his boot, and no matter how hard he scrubbed it wouldn't come free. Junkrat felt torn. He wanted to fit. He thought he was getting better at it, but every time things started to look a little bit out of place that old anxiety began to niggle at him, whispering that this was dangerous, that he should get away... and hell, he knew it was mostly irrational at this point, he knew, he wasn't quite as crazy as some people thought... a twitchy, unpredictable mess certainly, but not crazy... Instincts were born for a reason and he couldn't just overrule them with a snap of his fingers. He had a hard enough time just convincing himself that everyone wasn't looking for a way to turn on him the moment he glanced away.
Worse yet, worse than the deep set fear that this was all some intricate trick he'd been too stupid to recognize, he was terrified of losing everything he'd gained here because of his own bloody ignorance.
Junkrat liked Overwatch... but damn if it wasn't stressful. He'd spent the better part of twenty-five years learning to survive the Australian outback, yet this was a different world.
Maybe she got it. He thought she knew a little of what it was like when you didn't quite fit, when things wouldn't align the way you wanted them and not everyone picked up on what made you tick... wasn't quite the same, but perhaps.
Symmetra, at least, seemed partially satisfied by his claim whether she understood the depth of it or not. She nodded, accepting his words. "Well, it is something for me to think on. I... apologize." She tipped her head to the side, considering him momentarily. "This appears to be difficult for you, I did not anticipate it would concern you so much. I only thought you might have information that could help me."
Junkrat shrugged, a rough gesture than did nothing to deflect her piercing gaze. "No worries, ya don't gotta fret about me. It's just a pain not knowin' what to do, ya get me? Heh, figure ya probably do since ya botherin' to ask about it... don't like not knowing what to do, kinda like a havin' a blind side. Always better to be one step ahead, otherwise it's like..."
He paused, brows knit together in a frown as he tried to find a way to articulate his thought. Coming to a decision he held up the detonator for her to see. "Otherwise it's like walkin' through a minefield while some other bloke's got his finger on the trigger, and ya never know when he'll just... blow it all to hell."
He pressed the trigger and Symmetra flinched. Nothing happened, and after a seconds silence he cackled, shooting her a sharp toothed grin. His tone was scornful. "Told ya it weren't hooked up to nothing."
"Yes, well... forgive me if I've found your memory a little unreliable of late," she retorted, calmly smoothing imaginary wrinkles from her dress.
He rolled his amber eyes. He should know by now she wasn't fond of such teasing, he'd simply been unable to resist, still a little... trigger happy. Junkrat laughed again, catching himself at the last second so the sound was cut abruptly short as he held it in, shaking a little from the strain. This was supposed to be a serious conversation, wasn't it? He was pretty sure that's what Symmetra had wanted, the least he could do was pull himself together until she was done. It couldn't be much longer could it?
As if she had read his mind she finally broke into motion, her arms falling to her sides. She sighed. "I suppose for both our sakes I had best work on an answer to this... I will admit, people are not my strong suit but there is always a solution... perhaps there will be much trial and error, but that is all part of the process... no design ever began perfect."
"Wish I had ya confidence," he said, "act like this is just another thing to tinker with in the workshop."
She did not seem sure how to respond to that. Eventually she nodded, and he thought he caught a tinge of shame or perhaps embarrassment on her face, it was too quick for him to really process. "I suspect you may have more invested in this than I, and I am sorry for not seeing that sooner... I do not expect Lucio to ever wish to be my friend, I do not really expect anyone to wish to be my friend, all I desire is that he allows me the chance to work alongside him and the level of tolerance and respect due to every peer."
He didn't like the way she sounded, the resignation in her voice. Junkrat coughed. "Don't sell yerself short there, ya never know, he could take a shine to ya. Haven't even introduced him to your stunnin' sense of humor yet."
Symmetra frowned. "But you were just saying... I don't..." she began before catching sight of his teasing grin. She sighed again in exasperation, but her lips twitched upward slightly, the closest thing he could get to a smile from her. "You are quite terrible sometimes."
"Terribly brilliant is the term ya lookin' for I think," he said, puffing out his chest self-importantly. "I got an international reputation an' everything."
"As a criminal."
"As a terribly brilliant criminal."
"A criminal none the less," she repeated, and although her tone was clipped it was at least more self assured. She turned to go, then froze mid-step as if she had forgotten something. "Jamison..." she added, "thank you."
He waved her off carelessly, already settling back down in the nest of wires and chemicals he had lying on the ground. This, at least, was something he was familiar with. "Go an' scheme already, I won't keep ya."
Whatever Symmetra was planning he didn't see her again which he was silently grateful for, it allowed him to distract himself, to once again shelve the problem for later.
The rest of the day passed in a haze as it often did. His experimentations drew the attention of Soldier Seventy-six, who professed only mild concern that he was going to destroy the entire complex. After reluctantly weakening their potency under supervision Junkrat soon lost interest.
He remembered, vaguely, persuading the cowboy to help him tamper with Soldier's favorite brand of coffee as a way of retribution, a task the man had seemed all too happy to join in with... he mentioned something about a proposed smoking ban, Junkrat forgot the rest of his reasoning.
He was also pretty sure he'd talked to Reinhardt about a custom paint job for his armor, which the knight had appeared intrigued by, but Brigitte had chased him off before they could concoct any plans together.
At some point he paused to make some basic ammunition for when he might need it next, but he wasn't sure where the rest of the time had gone.
"Can't stay up late tonight, mission tomorrow," Lucio warned while Hana flicked through her games collection to find something to play.
"Well we could still stay up late," she said.
"Yeah, but like, responsibility."
Hana pulled a face. "Boring. What about you Rat?"
He shrugged, still spinning slow circles in his chair while he waited. "Ain't like I haven't skipped a nights sleep before, never did me any harm." He frowned. "Well, not a lot anyways."
"That's the spirit. See Lucio, who needs sleep when you have caffeine?"
"Normal people," he muttered.
Junkrat snickered to himself. "Guess that rules some of us out then."
"Normal people are scrubs," Hana assured him, "we're better than that." She finally settled on a game and turned her attention back to Lucio, shooting an exaggerated pout his way. "Come on Lucio, be like us, stay up with the cool kids."
"Man, hasn't anyone ever told you peer pressure is wrong?"
Junkrat stopped his absentminded spinning. "We ain't pressuring ya mate, just suggestin' is all... forcefully suggestin'."
"Pretty please?" Hana fluttered her eyelashes. Junkrat fluttered his eyelashes too.
Lucio's held his hands up in surrender, finally cracking a smile. "Alright, alright... but not too late, okay guys? I mean, this is a proper mission we're talking about, seriously."
"Eh, it'll be nice to get out again and destroy some shit, but the way I see it this ain't anythin' new, I could shoot with me eyes closed if I wanted."
"Isn't that what you normally do?" Hana said playfully, reaching across the floor to grab another can of soda. She'd set up a neat little stash near the bed where she normally kept snacks and had already made a dent in the pile.
He folded his arms and stuck his chin out in defiance. "Oi, just cos I ain't lookin' at em doesn't mean I don't know where people are. I know where I'm shootin' at."
"Intuition, right?" Lucio said.
"Somethin' like that."
"He means luck," Hana told him, popping the tab on her drink while she set the match up with her other hand.
Junkrat opened his mouth to retort but Lucio beat him to it. "Does it matter if it works?"
"Exactly! See, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, that's what I say... ain't my problem ya don't understand the finer points of prediction."
"I don't need hacks."
"That's right, all you need is Mountain Dew and ego," Lucio said.
She giggled, looking almost pleased at the suggestion. "Awww, you know me too well. You want a can?"
She tossed one to each of them and left them struggling to work out how to play and drink at the same time, a trick she seemed to have mastered. To Junkrat it seemed a question of what he valued more, his video game life or sugar, and frankly that was an easy question. While he would have preferred bubble tea there was something to be said for soda.
Carbonated drinks weren't exactly common in the outback, first time he'd tried one he hadn't known what to make of it. Then, true to his usual habits, he'd binged on every can he'd found and practically passed out from the caffeine and sugar intake which turned his constant jittery nature into a waking nightmare. Needless to say Roadhog had not been impressed. Since then he'd kept a watchful eye on what Junkrat drank, or ate for that matter, though Junkrat suspected it was just to save himself from dealing with the aftermath. He'd made himself sick more than once when the sudden availability of everything overwhelmed him.
By the time he'd finished the can he'd already gotten his character killed a dozen times and Lucio wasn't doing much better, only Hana seemed to be getting anywhere, a fact she repeatedly reminded them of. Giving up on the objective him and Lucio quickly made their own competition, trying to beat one another to the highest death count. They were laughing too hard to listen to any of Hana's complaints. Junkrat was well on the way to victory when she finally gave in with a groan, moaning about her 'K/D ratio' and proceeding to stomp them at their own stupid game.
"You know we still win," Lucio told him brightly, "cos now she's got herself killed more than 'us scrubs'."
She let out a spluttered protest. "No, that's not how it works-"
"Come on Hana, admit it, you fell into that one."
"I admit nothing!"
"Salty," Junkrat muttered and Lucio doubled over with laughter, slapping his own knee in delight.
Hana scowled. "I regret teaching you words," she said eventually, and Lucio only laughed harder.
"Can't ya let us have this one? Ya win enough as it is, be fair."
She didn't look convinced. Her legs flopped limply behind her where she sprawled on the bed in her customary spot, chin resting on her arms and lips pursed tightly as if she had tasted something sour. Then she rolled her eyes and let out a dramatic sigh. "Fine! You win this time. But only because I like you two idiots."
"Can't believe my ears! Hana song admits defeat!" Lucio crowed. "The world is at an end."
She threw a pillow at him. "It will be if you keep at it. You and Rat are as bad as each other."
"I beg yer pardon, I'm in a league of my own thank ya very much, got a reputation to uphold. Can't go gettin' associated with mister goody-two-shoes here."
Lucio shook his head. "Dude, I think it's the other way around. Can you believe what people would think, popular DJ and gaming superstar hanging out with a wanted criminal? Got scandal written all over it."
Junkrat's grin waned. He forgot, sometimes, that Hana and Lucio weren't just regular people, they were what the world branded 'famous', and not his kind of famous either, the kind that had fans. Their existence didn't end at the walls of the room, it was extended across screens, up on posters, T-shirts, downloaded to phones, blasted across the news... He shifted in his seat, drawing up his peg leg so that he could scratch at the orange paint of the kneecap with restless fingers. He watched them both closely. "That don't bother ya?"
Lucio looked genuinely surprised and he hurriedly waved away the suggestion. "What? Course not man, the way I see it working for Overwatch means you're making up for any crap you've done. Besides, it's not like I'd go bragging about it to my followers. You said there's people who might be looking for you, right? Wouldn't want to break your cover... or Overwatch's cover either... guess none of us are really on the right side of the law right now what with the Petras act, huh?"
"So we're all criminals?" Hana asked.
"Well... technically I guess?"
"Neat."
Junkrat let out a high pitched giggle. Something about the careless way she said it was hilarious, at least to his own bizarre sense of humor. "Nah, ya dreamin', real crime takes hard work. Trust me, I'm an expert."
"You saying Overwatch isn't hard work?" Lucio demanded, though his smile suggested he wasn't offended.
Junkrat made a noncommittal gesture, slouching further back in his chair. "Eh, missions ain't no challenge if that's what ya mean, haven't even lost another limb yet."
"Well we'll see if you're still so confident tomorrow, yeah?" Lucio said. He stuck his arms out, giving a quick stretch before heaving himself up. "Speaking of which I should probably go catch some sleep, need to be ready to keep you both alive... that's gonna be a hard work."
Junkrat winked. "Gotta keep ya on ya toes mate."
"Oh boy do you. At least try not to shoot yourself this time?"
"Oi, that was a tactical decision, had no choice in the matter."
Lucio's expression radiated skepticism. "Sure thing dude. Don't stay up too late."
"Yes mum," Hana said and they both waved him off with various half-hearted promises. How much longer Junkrat stayed up he wasn't sure, but he suspected it was the early hours before he quit.
Symmetra's appearance last morning was enough to reaffirm his suspicions that his room was not a safe place to sleep. Instead he chose to settle down in one of his favorite spots in the outer portion of the base where a lot of the old vehicles were stored, most of them in disrepair. It smelt like oil and rust but that was familiar to Junkrat, comforting almost. It felt normal, far more than the clean, chemical scent that seemed to linger in the better used parts of HQ. With his traps laid out he could rest as easy as he ever did.
He recognized the heavy tread of footsteps even as he snapped awake what seemed like only moments later. In the dull gloom of the room it was impossible to tell how much time had passed. He must have caught at least a bit of sleep because his eyes didn't sting and there was no buzzing in his skull besides the usual background ringing of his ears.
Junkrat reached immediately for his arm, slotting it into place and doing up the straps with practiced fingers while he watched Roadhog's approach. "A little to the left mate, don't wanna step in somethin' nasty."
Roadhog paused, checked the ground, and readjusted his path. "Get up, need to be leaving soon."
"What do ya think I'm doin', eh? No need to rush me, we got time."
"Thirty minutes. Took a bit to find you," he said in a tone that sounded almost accusatory.
"See, what'd I tell ya? Plenty of time," Junkrat said with a grin, dragging his peg leg over so he could attach it. It was quicker work than the arm when he had two hands to use.
Roadhog sighed.
"Come on now Roadie, gotta learn a bit of patience, ya know I take some assembly. Ain't like you to be in a rush anyways, they tell ya to drag me in? Bet it was Soldier weren't it? Bloke ain't even on the mission and he won't get off me case, bloody drongo."
"It was Lucio."
That stalled him. "Huh," Junkrat said, an eyebrow quirked up in mild surprise. "Well... guess he is a worrier."
Roadhog made no response, waiting silently while Junkrat worked. He finally finished with his leg and lurched upward, slinging his blanket over his shoulders like a cape. "Just let me grab my shit okay? Only take a tick, then it's onwards to adventure!"
As usual his high spirits did nothing to encourage his partner. Roadhog was just plain unmovable at times, and Junkrat supposed that was as good as it was bad. The guy was reliable, solid, exactly what Junkrat wasn't... sometimes it was precisely what he needed but he would have liked to see a little enthusiasm now and again. As it was all Roadhog did was grumble. "Just don't forget anything."
"Oh rack off, I got it covered mate," Junkrat said without venom, already disarming and collecting the traps he'd set out. "Have a little faith. Since when have I forgotten to bring stuff on a mission, eh? Ain't any fun without the usual goodies... be like ya leaving your hook behind, be damn next ta useless... I'm joking mate, joking, no need to look at me like that. Ya always play ya part, plenty lethal with that old gun of yours too, makes for one mean bodyguard. We'll be raining havoc soon enough, the old hook-an-cook, right Hoggy? Bastards don't stand a chance."
"I'm not going."
Junkrat paused. He cocked his head to the side, looking at Roadhog with a bemused expression as he bent to dismantle his last trap. "Ya wot?"
"I said I'm not going."
He laughed, flapping a hand as if to wave off the very notion. "Nah, don't be daft ya pig, course you're coming along, ya always do."
"Not this time."
A twinge of uncertainty hit Junkrat somewhere in the pit of his stomach. His smile felt strained, teeth clenched tighter than they should be. "I don't get it."
Roadhog let out a wheezing breath. His manner seemed strangely frustrated, a little of his usual tolerance worn thin. He grunted, then made another attempt. "Trying to tell you I'm staying here while you're on your mission."
"But... that ain't how it works... we go together mate, thick as thieves, yeah? Ya watch my back I watch yours, we're a team. Always stick together, every mission, that was the deal when we signed up... since we went fifty-fifty," he trailed off, acutely aware of the way Roadhog stood, a way that told him instantaneously that this was no joke, no false alarm or empty threat designed to bully him into something. His voice felt oddly weak. "What'd I do?"
Roadhog huffed. His gruff tone shifted to something slightly softer. "Not my choice, reassigned."
"No no no no," Junkrat said quickly, pacing with waspish agitation while he struggled to order his thoughts. Roadhog had to go with him. Roadhog always went with him. The giant was the only reason he'd survived years with half of Oz gunning for his treasure, the only reason he'd ever learned some capacity to relax, the only other person that could ever truly be relied upon. The closest thing to safety he'd ever understood.
He knew how to scrape by, he'd done that, but Roadhog made his life less an act of desperation and let him focus on living. He didn't care who else was there, there was no one else he wanted watching his back. "This ain't right. The fuck they reassign ya for? They know, they know how it's supposed to go. Ain't bloody right! What're they up to, huh? Soldier and that monkey, they've got it out for us, I told ya but ya didn't believe me... they got something planned, have to..."
Roadhog reached out to try and stop him in his tracks but Junkrat dodged the hand easily, still pacing circles with no real idea where he was going.
Roadhog observed him. He made no further attempts to halt his movements but instead waited until his eyes flickered over in his direction before shrugging. "Just said they had a better fit for the mission, didn't need me is all."
"Bleedin' likely... who is it, eh? Who'd they thinks better than ya?" he seethed, fists clenched until the nails of his remaining hand bit hard into his skin. He hardly felt the pain, it was a distant sensation like the faint scrape of metal on metal from his right as his prosthetic fingers curled tighter, straining against their limitations.
For a few seconds it seemed as if the big lug wasn't going to respond. Then, apparently reaching a decision, he answered. "Satya."
"Who?"
Roadhog gave a tired sigh. "Symmetra."
Everything seemed to grind to a halt. Junkrat remained frozen, flashing through every one of his mistakes while static screamed in the background and he fought back the urge to tear at his own hair. He'd done this. Betrayed himself without even realizing. He wasn't sure how but he was certain this wasn't a coincidence, now he was facing the consequences, the sudden shift in a paradigm he'd grown use to, that safety net now torn aside. He didn't want this, he didn't want any of this... but it was too late. Why did she have to go make a mess of things? Why had he let her?
His brain was working in overdrive, but all Junkrat could think to say was, "Fuck."
((I feel like maybe I repeat myself at times so sorry for that. Also if you spot any typos or mistakes feel free to point them out, I know I'm bound to have missed something.
Anyways, I hope you're still enjoying this, I tried my best to fit what I felt was needed in this chapter without making it too long. At least Junkrat isn't the only one to mess up this time.
Also I have a one-shot thing I can't post until later because of spoilers, but eh, we'll see if we get there. Thanks for reading ^_^))
