The Eugene arc will be canon-ish, but given the whole premise of this story is "what if Tuckson got together much earlier than they did on the show" there will obviously be some differences, both big and small. And the very first thing I'm changing is that in this story OMB is not dumb enough to leave her son with Nina. I'll forever be annoyed at that move. Anyways. Here you go.

Chapter 41

Ed could tell from Olivia's body language that she was tense. He couldn't blame her. This was the first time they were having to interact professionally, for this type of investigation, since they had officially disclosed. Bringing Mike Dodds with her to his office earlier that day had been a smart move and he remembered leaning back in his chair, smirking with pride. Olivia Benson was no fool. She knew they had to interact, and she knew that having Mike Dodds be the one potentially having to assure the higher ups that there was no improper conduct or bending of the rules, came with a higher level of credibility. But now, back in the squad with Ed joining them, her jaw had locked up and he could see the vein in her forehead pulse slightly. A minor detail, not something anyone else would notice, but Ed did. He noticed everything about her.

"This doesn't sound like the M.O. of a street gang," Olivia said, placing her paper coffee cup on the table and wiping her lips, a move Ed knew to be one of frustration. "But that's what Vice keeps saying."

"Yeah, well," Carisi said, sitting back and shrugging. "What'd ya expect them to do? Confess?"

"Ah," Tucker grunted. "They called my bluff."

"Unusual for you, Captain," Fin said with a small smile, knowing he was ribbing Tucker. He still had reservations about his and Olivia's relationship, but though he would never admit it, the IAB Captain was growing on him ever so slightly.

"You talked to them again, Amanda, what came of it?"

"No one is cooperating," Amanda said. "They all went back in different directions."

"Someone has to know something," Benson said firmly, unwilling to give up. Ed gazed at her, watching the wheels turn in her head. He knew they had to keep it professional, and he planned to, but inside he was in awe of how even with the slightest of comments her passion and fuel for justice came oozing out of her being. "Friends? Classmates?"

"We can ask," Amanda said simply and with a shrug. "Natalia and Margaret both went to St. Fabiola's, and so did Cara."

"That's the all-girls religious school in the south Bronx, right?" Dodds asked, finally speaking up for the first time in several minutes."

Benson nodded and opened her mouth to assign Rollins and Carisi to the task, but Ed took a deep breath and inserted himself into the discussion.

"I, uh, well I may know someone there."

Olivia eyed him. She didn't quite understand the hesitation in his voice. Ed glanced at her, his eyes already asking forgiveness, for he knew she was unaware of this particular piece of his family history and connection.

"My cousin, Eugene, he's a psychologist," he said softly. "Last I heard that's where he was."

Gaping at him, Olivia remained silent.

"The last you heard? He's your cousin," Carisi said, half in jest but half incredulously. He eyed his Lieutenant and swallowed. By the look on her face, this had come as a surprise to her as well.

Ed shrugged. "He's a priest. Our interests diverged."

Mike Dodds gave a small smirk. "Estranged Irish relatives. How rare."

Finally recovering from the tiny bombshell Ed had dropped, Olivia cleared her throat. "You mind talking to him?"

Ed met her eyes and he could see the questions, and the hurt, swirling. "Of course," he said softly. "Whatever you need."

The other four detectives eyed each other warily, unsure what had just transpired. It wasn't over obvious that a tension had risen between the couple, but given they were with four veteran detectives, it was hard to hide.

Benson nodded for Ed to follow her and they walked off towards the office.

"What was that about," Fin said under his breath. The other detectives just shrugged and watched the couple walk away.

"You never told me your cousin was a priest," Olivia said simply. "In fact you never told me you had a cousin at all."

Ed glanced at her out of the corner of his eyes. "You never asked," he shrugged, hoping the simplicity and jest would make her smile.

It didn't. He followed her into the office and they closed the door. She moved quickly to her desk and shuffled around papers. "Do you need any information or anything from me? Before you go talk to him?"

Ed shifted uncomfortably, not liking the rift that had suddenly developed. "No," he said. "I know how to question people, Lieutenant."

Olivia's head snapped up, her eyes wide. "I didn't…"

Putting his hands in his pockets, Ed nodded and offered a small smile. "I know," he whispered. "I'll let you know what I find out." He gave her one last smile before exiting the office. Olivia closed her eyes and fell backwards into her chair, taking some deep breaths. She was unable to explain why she reacted they way she had to the revelation about Ed's cousin, but she felt a slight betrayal. She had told him almost everything about her history, and she had assumed that she knew all of his. Ed had told her about his parents' passing, he and his brother being not speaking at all. She knew about his marriage and former sister-in-law. Olivia had assumed she knew all there was to know about Ed Tucker's relatives. But she was wrong, and it stung.


"Ed, calm down," Olivia said, having to break into a jog after Ed as they left the church several days later.

"No," he growled, throwing his hand up to hail a cab. One screeched to a halt in front of them and despite his intense anger, Ed opened the door and gently ushered Olivia into the backseat, before slamming the door shut and banging his head against the leather head rest.

"Baby…" Olivia reached out and grasped his forearm, trying to keep his attention and calm him down. Her touch worked, but only slightly, as Ed closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The couple stayed like that until the cab jerked violently, tossing them around in the backseat. Ed reached out and steadied Olivia.

"Ya okay?"

"Yeah," she breathed, but reached to his face with her gloved hand. "Are you?"

"I let the name slip," he said softly. "I gave him Cara's name. And now she's dead."

"Oh no, no no," Olivia said quickly, her other hand reaching for her face so she could cup his cheeks firmly. "You're not doing this. It is not your fault."

"Is it?" He asked, his eyes wide and full of hurt and betrayal. "I should've known not to go to Eugene. We haven't spoken in…I don't even know how many years. He never reached out after Suzanne's death. And suddenly I just walked in and gave him those names? How stupid was I?"

"He's a priest," Olivia said simply. "Of course you trusted that."

"I trust no religion and I definitely don't trust him," he replied shortly. "I haven't for a long time, but definitely not anymore. This one's on me."

Unable to convince him otherwise, at least while in the backseat of a cab, Olivia did the only thing she knew to do; she brought his head to hers and kissed him deeply. Ed immediately responded, threading his fingers through her hair and kissing her back, hungrily and desperately. They stayed like that, lips locked and breaths quick, until the cab came to a screeching halt in front of the precinct.

"Where's Nina now?" Ed asked, his fingers gently gliding over Olivia's lips.

"At my apartment with an officer. She's safe," Olivia said, and as she saw Ed's eyes widen she quickly continued. "I had Lucy take Noah over to your place. They are hanging with Emma…that okay?"

"Of course," Ed said, his face screwed up wondering why she even asked. But after a few seconds, his face fell again.

"Nina is safe, Ed," she assured him. "She's safe."

"So was Cara," Ed whispered.

"Come on," Olivia said, dragging him out of the cab. "Let's regroup upstairs. Maybe check on Emma…make sure everyone's good, then we can go see Nina."

Ed followed her up the stairs and as they neared the top, he tugged on Olivia's hand and turned her around. They stared at each other for a few seconds before Ed reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Liv, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Eugene."

Olivia forced a smile. "We can talk about that later. We will talk about that later." she said with a resignation to her voice signaling she was still bothered he had never disclosed some of his family to her. Instead, she pushed it down and got back to business. "But right now we have some work to do, Captain."

Ed smirked and gave her behind a soft slap as she turned to go up the stairs. Giggling they entered the squad room and stepped onto the elevator. As she hit the floor for the 1-6, Ed grasped her hand and kissed it.

"Hey Liv?" he whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I love you," he said, squinting his eyes at her. "You know that, right?"

Olivia nodded and bit her lip to force down the bubbling of emotion she was beginning to feel. "I know."


Having decided to climb the seven flights of stairs to his apartment, Ed trudged up the last few and leaned against the wall outside of his apartment for a few minutes trying to catch his breath. The emotions running through his system were strong, and he couldn't identify which one was stronger. The anger at Eugene, the guilt of what happened to Cara, or the growing fear that this was going to drive a wedge in between him and Olivia. To make matters worse, he now had an additional nagging fear that this was somehow going to cost Olivia, and possibly him, their jobs.

To hell with my job, he thought to himself as he allowed his head to rest against the apartment door. And he meant that thought. Ed Tucker decided right then and there that he would do anything and everything in his power to make sure none of this came down on Olivia. Just as he was about to let his mind wander to the possibility of being implicated criminally, he heard the locks jiggle on the door. Startled, both him and Lucy jumped back a little.

"Captain Tucker," she breathed out, hand over her heart as she caught her breath.

"Lucy," he said. "I'm sorry I scared ya."

"Oh, no problem," she said. "I was just heading out…I let Olivia know."

"Not a problem," Ed said, standing to the side and letting Lucy exit. "Thanks for everything. I'll let Liv know I'm here with them."

Nodding, Lucy gave the captain a smile and stepped onto the elevator. Ed let out a sigh and finally entered the apartment, toeing off his shoes and rounding the corner from the foyer.

"Ed!" Noah screeched and ran over to him, arms up and squealing as Ed tossed him lightly into the air before pulling him into a hug.

"Hey pal," he said softly, kissing his cheek. "Have a good day?"

"Uh huh!" Noah squirmed to get down, took Ed's hand, and drug him into the kitchen. "I helpin'!"

"Hey dad," Emma said, stirring the contents of a large pot on the stove.

"Whatcha makin'" Ed asked, taking a whiff of the aroma spreading throughout his apartment.

"Chili," she said. "I explained to Noah he could make it into a taco, which finally got his approval for tonight's menu."

Ed chuckled and tussled Noah's hair. "Ya like tacos, bud?"

Noah nodded and tugged on Emma's sleeve. "I help?"

Emma picked him up and let him peer into the pot. "Nah," she said. "You see? It just needs to simmer now."

"Sim-mer," Noah repeated slowly. He nodded his head in agreement then reached over to pat Emma's cheek. "Okay, we pay!"

Laughing, Emma set him down. "Okay, you go play for a bit. I'll be right there."

Noah trotted off and Emma washed her hands in the sink. "So," she asked, eyeing her father out of the corner of her eyes. She could see the uncertainty in his face as he watched Noah across the kitchen bar. "Eugene?"

Ed grunted. "Fuck him" he breathed out.

"Been a long time since I've heard his name," Emma allowed. "Don't even know what he looks like."

"You wouldn't," Ed said softly, his hand rubbing down his face. "Never met him."

"Really?"

"Really," he said. "He was always so…stand-off-ish once he joined the priesthood. Couldn't be bothered with the likes of me…"

"Well," Emma said, a small smile gracing her face as she elbowed her father and repeated his earlier sentiments. "Fuck him."

Knowing he should admonish her language, Ed instead let out a laugh and pulled Emma into his side, kissing the top of her head. "It's good to be home," he whispered. "And see you smile. School okay?"

"Same as usual," she reported. The duo stood in silence for a little bit. The only sounds coming from Noah's truck that would sing every time he rolled it around. Finally, Emma shifted a little bit and looked up at Ed. "Is everything okay?"

Ed never talked to her about work for many reasons. But Emma had this nagging feeling that something was wrong. She kept telling herself it was anxiety and a consequence of her now jumping straight to worst-case scenarios in everything, but judging from her father's body language, she was convinced something was wrong.

"Yeah," he allowed, but then shook his head. "Well, I don't know. Things are…messy."

"Are you okay?" Emma's eyes were wide as she stared up at her father. Despite still feeling slightly intimidated by him, she needed him. And she desperately needed things to be okay for the time being.

"Of course," he said, forcing a smile and patting Emma's arm. There was no reason to sound the alarm to his daughter that this was anything but a standard investigation, so he put on his best poker face and lied through his teeth, offering up the slight tension with Olivia as a hopeful distraction. "Olivia is a little miffed with me that I never told her I had a cousin. So I gotta fix that. But me? I'm just fine."

Emma kept looking at Ed, but let it go. He clearly didn't want to talk about it, but she knew that wasn't the entire story.

"Olivia coming by?"

Ed nodded and looked at his watch. "She had to go see the ADA."

"That's that Barba guy, right?"

For some reason, Emma's comment made him chuckle. "Yeah," he said glancing down at her. "That the Barba guy."

In the dark about the possible implications about Olivia's visit with Rafael, Emma just shrugged.

"Hope she likes chili."


"He had nothing to do with this, Rafael, and you know it," Olivia seethed, her narrowed brown eyes burning holes through the ADA's head. "You know it."

"Do I?" He pushed back, head cocked to the side and eyebrow raised. "I know that he was the only other person who knew Cara's name. I know that his cousin is definitely involved in some way. And you of all people know the lengths people go to in order to help their own blood…"

Olivia thought back to Simon and swallowed hard, her face beginning to redden. "That was a low blow, even for you."

"But I'm not wrong, Olivia," he pushed. "How many of your partners, your friends, has Tucker come after over the years? He even arrested you."

"He did," Olivia admitted. "But we are way past that now."

"Think of this from my point of view, from a jury's point of view," Barba said. "If you weren't screwing around with him, what would you think right now?"

"I'm not screwing around with him," Olivia ground out, seething at how her friend was coming at her and her relationship. "I trust him."

"Do you?"

"Ed Tucker is NOT involved in this," she yelped, feeling panic grow inside of her. She knew how this looked and she knew how the NYPD and the DA's office worked.

"Come on, Olivia, how well to you really know Tucker? You didn't even know he had a cousin who was a priest."

Olivia's heart dropped down into her stomach, but she didn't let that show to the ADA. She was still reeling from that disclosure, and despite it feeling minor to anyone else, it wasn't to her and Rafael knew that. He knew trust was everything to her, and now he was using Ed's misstep to cause her more doubt and to make his case. But no matter how she felt about being blindsided by Ed have a cousin who is a priest, she still believed in him and trusted in him. She knew he was a good man, and she was not letting him go down like this. She was not going to lose him.

Her face hardened and her eyes narrowed as she stared down her friend. "He would never, ever be involved in something like this. Ever."

"Lieutenant, do you really trust Ed Tucker enough to swear on your job, your pension, your passion, the victims you help, the life that you have made for you and your son…are you willing to gamble with all of that based on the belief that Tucker is innocent?"

"Go to hell."


"Liv," Ed breathed her name as she walked in and hung her coat. Noah was long asleep and Emma was in her room reading, so he made a beeline for her and pulled her into his chest. "God it feels good to have ya in my arms."

Olivia nestled her head further into his neck and kissed at it. They stayed like that for several minutes. No words were spoken. They just held onto each other tightly, almost as if this were for the last time.

"Ed, I'm sorry," she whispered, finally pulling back just enough to peer up into his eyes. She could see the questions, the worry swirling in his baby blues and it was killing her what she now knew about where this case was headed.

"For what? Whatever happened in that meeting with Barba?"

Olivia closed her eyes and gripped his hands. "Come on," she whispered. "Let's sit."

Ed grabbed a half empty bottle of bourbon and two glasses and followed Olivia into the living room. They sat down, so close that their thighs pressed against each other, as Ed poured them each a generous portion.

"I'm being set up?"

Olivia closed her eyes, unable to look into his eyes as she nodded.

"Dammit," he said, his voice growing louder. "Dammit."

"Ed…"

"You know how this goes, Liv," he said, taking her hands and looking her dead in the eyes. "You know how it ends. Don't do this. Don't stick your neck out for me. Don't even think about it."

Olivia shook her head, feeling the tears burn as she fought desperately to keep herself in control.

"You haven't done anything," she said, her voice nearing a yelling decibel. "Nothing. I know you, Ed Tucker. I know you and I know you have nothing to do with this."

"You have too much to lose to go down for someone like me," he finally said, cocking his head slightly to the side.

"Someone like you?" Olivia asked, pulling back a little and narrowing her eyes. "Someone like you? A man who has never left my side? A man who has two kids who are still reeling from losing their mother? A man who makes me feel so safe, and so loved, more than I ever have in my entire life? You don't think that's worth it?"

"Olivia…this job…your job…"

"I'm not going to lose my job," she ground out, teeth and jaw clenched. "But I swear to God you are not going down for this. I don't care what I have to do…"

"Liv…"

"We're done having this discussion," she said firmly, downing the rest of the bourbon and letting it burn in her throat. Just as she was about to say something else, her phone buzzed on the coffee table. She eyed Ed and grabbed it, reading the message.

"Liv?" Ed's eyes darted across her face.

"One PP wants to see me. Immediately."

"Olivia don't do this," Ed pleaded, standing and following her to the door.

"Are you okay with Noah for a bit?"

Ed looked at her in shock. "Of course," he said. "But I'm begging you…"

"Stop it," she finally yelled. "Just stop it. "You have too much to lose. I'm not letting them take you down, Ed Tucker. I will fight and claw my way to the ends of the earth if I have to."

Reaching out, he grasped at her arms. "Olivia…"

"Let me go," she aid calmly, reaching up and kissing his lips. "Just…let me go."

Ed released her arms and took a step back, shaking his head.

"It's gonna be okay," she promised him. "I'm gonna fix this."

With that, she flew out of the apartment, her coat flapping a bit as the door shut. Ed stumbled back and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and breathing deeply.

"Dad?"

Emma poked her head out of her room and padded down the hallway, placing her hand on his shoulder.

"It's not just a typical case, is it?"

Ed looked down at his daughter. He could feel her fear, and he would have done anything in that moment to have some kind of way to assure her that things were just fine and he wasn't in any kind of trouble. But he couldn't. Taking another deep breath, Ed realized the only way to handle the situation was to be honest with Emma, to not have her blindsided, but to keep assuring her that everything would work out.

"No, no it's not," he finally admitted, pulling Emma into his chest and kissing the top of her head. "It'll be okay," he tried to assure her. "I'm gonna make sure you're okay."

"It's not just me that needs to be okay," she whispered. "I need you."

"You've got me, baby," he said, tightening his grip on her and looking up as he searched for strength he wasn't sure he had in that moment. "I'm right here."

Emma squeezed him once more before pulling back and putting on a brave face. "Olivia will fix it," she said confidently, patting his arm and moving to the kitchen. "She just will."

That's what I'm afraid of, Ed thought to himself. Shaking off his nerves, he followed Emma.

"I'm gonna make some hot cocoa. Wanna watch a movie?"

Ed forced a smile. "Anything you want."