It was going to be a restless night.

Alya had not asked Adrien to keep her updated but she was extremely thankful that he had been messaging her through the whole night. He knew her well.

She was feeling calm, lying on her bed with a bowl of gummy bears deciding what to watch on Netflix until the disastrous message appeared on the screen. It was short, precise, yet terrifying:

Marinette knows.

Adrien was smart and cared for Marinette enough to not reveal his identity, or hers, that night, which only meant the worse, Marinette had remembered it, and those were bad news. Alya was used to the odd behavior Marinette showed when she was remembering little things, it was subtle but you could tell something was wrong, but she still had to get accustomed to the breakdowns Marinette had when a big memory crashed against her. It was surprising and heartbreaking, she was never going to be prepared for one of those, it hurt every time.

She was ready to go out of her house and drive to the Ritz when she heard knocks on her window. Nino, in costume, was waiting for her to open.

And now, after a big discussion and multiple frowning glares later they were both sitting on the floor of Alya's living room, sight glued at the roof, and having a calm conversation, well, as calm as Alya Césaire could be at this situation. The mundane conversation was interrupted several times by her questions and sudden plans of escape, but Nino was able to bring her back to the floor every time.

"What's happening with your fake-relationship? I've not kept up with the celeb gossip lately," Alya sighed, if she couldn't talk about the top worry on her list, she could talk about the one that took second place.

"I don't know and I don't care, my agent and publicist have been trying to talk me about it but I hang or change the subject every time they do. I just want to focus on music, that's what I've always wanted… also, I've been trying to get a job as a music video producer, so I try to keep them busy with that,"

"Music video, uh? That sounds like you, you enjoy movies just as much as you enjoy creating music,"

"Yeah,"

"Yeah," Dead end, again.

"It's always going to be like this?" Nino asked, turning his head to look at her.

Alya copied his motion "Us?" Nino nodded "I guess… I'm not sure,"

"I still lik—I still love you," Alya's breath got caught on her throat. She knew this, she shouldn't be surprised by it. Their conversations, their meetings, all of it made it clear that he still loved her, and she was happy, oh so happy, but hearing the words made everything real, and more hurtful.

"I do too," She admitted, there was no point in lying, "Why did we break up?"

"Different paths. We weren't sure we would see each other again, I had to stay in LA for at least two years, you had to study hard so you could get good internships abroad," She knew that the question had been rhetorical, still listening to the reasons again made them sound stupid.

"Oh, right," Alya sighed again, "They're logical reasons,"

"They are," Nino agreed, "Then why do they sound so stupid every time I said them out loud?"

"I don't know, I thought that only happened to me,"

Nino held Alya's hand, she squeezed it back.

"I should go to Marinette's,"

"Adrien is with her, she is okay," With his free hand, Nino tried to pull her back to the floor but Alya resisted. "If you don't want to keep talking about us, you can just say it."

"Is not that. I do want a talk, I want to resolve this as much as you do, believe me, I do but—

"It's not the bigger issue," Alya nodded "That's one of your flaws: you obsess over one thing and you can't see the others. You are aware of it, right?"

"Of course, I am, I hate it too, okay?" Nino half smiled. "I understand Adrien is Chat Noir and that they share a bond that is stronger than any other friendship, they've been through hell and back together and it only makes sense that he is there with her right now but not being there for Marinette is eating me alive! I don't like being in the dark!"

"Hey, hey," Nino sat by her side, wrapping her in a thigh hug. Patting her back and pulling her head closer to him, so he could comfort her better. "Your bond with Mari is special and just as strong as theirs is, and you also been through hell with her, don't underestimate yourself, Alya Césaire." He kissed her nose. Alya giggled.

"I won't," She answered. "I still want to go, Adrien has not shared more information,"

"I don't think he has revealed more stuff. He said he was going to introduce her to Plagg, that's already pretty big, he won't hit her with more than that tonight,"

"Still, I believe—"The ringtone of Alya's phone interrupted her mid-phrase.

Alya crawled her way to the coffee table and took her phone, almost dropping it.

"Adrien?" Nino crooked a brow.

"No… my contact at the penitentiary," Alya stared at the screen as the phone kept ringing.

"Papillon," Nino gasped. Alya gulped. "C'mon 'Lya, answer,"

Alya took a big breath before tapping her phone.

"Vincent?" Alya came back to the same place she was before, to seat close to Nino. She held the phone between them so he could also hear the conversation.

"Mdm. Césaire! I apologize for calling this late at night, but you asked me to get you the news immediately"

"Yes, yes, I'm so glad you called!" As nervous as she was, she was really happy with having a response.

She was waiting for the call but the recent problem with Marinette had distracted her and made her forget about it.

The first thing she did after the meeting was calling Vincent, and the old guard who had helped her more than once and in whom she trusted dearly. He usually got her news or gossip that she could use as a lead for further investigations for her reports and news articles and in exchange, she made sure to send him old letters and stamps for his collection.

"It's confidential information so I beg you to keep it a secret, my job is at risk," He asked.

"I won't tell a soul," Alya promised, talking over his words. "You will remain anonymous as always."

"Not even anonymous is safe, Mdm. Césaire,"

"I promise I won't name you at all then," She was not going to write anything about it in magazines or newspapers, but Vincent didn't know that.

"I trust you, miss," He sighed, "They've been keeping this as a secret for a long time, I'm sure they don't want to cause any reaction from the public, but is still strange for them to keep this under lock and key,"

He took a meaningful pause. Alya did not interrupt, which was odd but Nino did not point it out.

"He is dead, Mdm. Césaire,"

"What?!" Alya shouted. Nino had to cover his mouth so he wouldn't scream too.

"He died years ago. He was trying to escape, he fell off the fourth floor, got severely injured, obviously, but was still alive then. He died in the ambulance carrying him to the hospital,"

"Damn…" Nino gasped.

"But, why would keep this a secret? Paris would celebrate his death, of that I'm sure," He had caused so much damage to the citizens that as nasty as it sounded, there was not a drop of mercy when it came to the man behind the mask.

"Oh, I was sure that would peak your interest, it peaked mine as well," Alya could hear the smile in his voice, "This may be your alley, miss: His last visit was no one else than Miss Spots— yeah you heard me right, Ladybug herself came to visit him before she vanished out of the face of Earth.

"Ladybug? What was she doing there?" He said, "before she vanished". Marinette had her memories then, she went there willingly. Why?

"No one knows. Ladybug asked to talk to him alone, the guards stood outside the interrogation room after making sure he was correctly hand-cuffed. I asked if they could hear something, but they say it was a very peaceful talk. Just in case anything happened, one guard watched them from a little window, he said Ladybug and Papillon sat in front of each other, barely moving, whispering. Then she left, looking as she was about to cry. On the other hand, Papillon was smiling from ear to ear.

Vincent kept telling her about the different stories and theories other guards had. Alya kept asking little details, trying to reach for more information to help her come with a better theory herself. Nino wrote down every word and piece of the conversation he thought was important for future research.

After ending the call, Alya and Nino remained in silence, trying to grasp the new piece of the puzzle. How was this visit connected to everything?

"Marinette visited that monster before she went missing. That's suspicious as hell, Nino!" Alya shouted. She was stating the obvious, but the silence was killing her and she needed to say something.

"It is but, please, don't freak out," He warned, which only made Alya start freaking out.

"How can you not freak out!" She snapped.

"Because he died Alya. It's a dead end!" He answered in a lower tune "We need to find more information before we assume things. I still believe that the other holders are a good place to start. I know is odd, but we can't ask Papillon because he is dead, and we can't ask 'Nette because she won't remember. Let's not bring this idiot in the mix until we have information from the other holders. Mr. Agreste was going to talk to them today, okay?"

"No, not okay! This is big, Nino. We need to call Adrien."

"No!" Nino shouted, "We can't tell Adrien, anyone but Adrien."

"Why not?" Alya leaned away from him. A little scared for the seriousness of his voice.

"He is terrified of him, Alya. I don't know what went down in that last battle, they never told anyone what happened, but just by Adrien's reactions when he hears that name I can tell is more than they ever let the media know. Something horrible went down there, and Adrien still carries the weight of it,"

Alya sighed.

"Alright, I understand," "But I still think we have to let his dad know,"

"Well, yes, you're right. We'll call him tomorrow morning, he may have information for us too,"

xx

Marinette rolled on her bed. She touched the edge of the mattress with her fingertips, and tugged the sheets tight around her body, trying to find ease in the warm sensation. But nothing worked.

Tired of trying to fall asleep again, she threw the quilt and sheets away and stood up from the bed, standing in front of the window and looking through the glass the beautiful street with luminous lamps.

She wasn't expecting an easy path, she knew that for her to recover her memory she was going to stumble with difficult obstacles. But her truth was harder to handle than she thought possible.

She came back to her apartment with Adrien, still comforting her and cleaning up her mess at the party with help of her father, whom who would have thought was also involved in the story and promised to help and handle the "party situation".

Marinette sighed. She looked at her bare feet, the marks of the high heels still there, leaving red paths at the sides. The heels she wore were beautiful, carefully selected to go with her handmade dress, the dress that she had spent weeks on. Designing, cutting fabric, stitching, putting it all together, and finally finishing by sewing sequins and fake -but high quality- jewels.

All those hours of stress, the sleepless nights and times of despair had been worth it, so worth it. She was proud of her dress, it was one of her best works to date, and she had been so happy to be the one to wear it… and now, it was back on its hang, on her curtain rail, only after a few hours of being in the spotlight.

It was a shame.

If only her past hadn't come back to bite her she would still be enjoying the beautiful dress.

Marinette looked back to the bed, realizing for the first time since she woke up that someone was missing.

She asked Adrien to stay with her until she fell asleep. Was he so correct that he left once she was sleeping?

Marinette smiled in amusement. She opened her bedroom door and walked into the living room, looking for her partner.

"Minou?" She whispered. The street lights and the moonlight were the only illuminations for the room, so she was careful with her steps, trying to not stumble with any piece of furniture or fabric she left on the floor.

"He is on the sofa," Marinette gave a little jump. She managed to muffle the pitched scream, covering her mouth with her hands. She completely forgot about that little big revelation earlier in the night.

The little cat-fairy was floating in front of her, the darkness made his fluorescent green eyes more iridescent than before, making Marinette more terrified of them.

"Thank you," She stuttered. She looked down and then held her head high once again, "I'm sorry for jumping like that, my mind is still trying to process everything,"

"You'll get used to it. No one can resist my awesome appeal," Marinette giggled at Plagg's words. Maybe he was right. "And is true that I can't remember you being Tikki's girl, I do remember her telling me that you called her a bug-rat when you met her. So, I think that with time you'll love me too, Spots"

Tikki. That was the name that had been haunting her. And now she finally had an answer.

Tikki was her kwami, the little creature was some sort of mini god that helped her transform into Ladybug. It was her who held the powers of creation and luck, and shared them with her so she could become a heroine.

She was that important. And that's why Adrien, who dodged every heavy question she made, decided that the only revelation he was going to give tonight –besides the ones from earlier- was introducing his kwami to her and explaining his function and role in this magical mystery. Because Adrien and Plagg wanted to know if she remembered Tikki.

She did not. She told them about her weird dream sequences, and sudden flashbacks, where she called Tikki's name and heard, what she assumed, was her voice, telling her to run, to be safe. But that was all, she didn't remember anything about her.

"You and Tikki had known each other forever, right?" Marinette asked.

"Pretty much. We could say she is older than me because without her I wouldn't be her. Something has to exist to be destroyed, and for things to exist they need to be created. And Tikki is that: creation," Plagg explained. "Now, I'll be back at our apartment, the lack of cheese in this house is terrifying,"

Marinette giggled. Plagg huffed before crossing the entrance door without opening it. He seemed like fun. She wondered if Tikki was like that as well. She mentioned her a lot in her diary, she could tell they were close, but she did not have enough descriptions of Tikki herself.

Marinette walked further, to the sofa where Adrien was sleeping.

He looked so peaceful and calm, his features were so soft and elegant under the moonlight. It was a different look than the one she usually saw. Adrien was always cautious, a little bit scared of Marinette, he tried his best to hide it but Marinette could tell, and she didn't blame him, she did not show her best side the first time they met –or well, met again-. And Chat Noir was always goofy and kind, but she always saw something else, he was never fully relaxed. To see him like this, sleeping on her couch, not worrying about her, was a beautiful sight.

He was a beautiful sight.

Marinette cupped her cheeks, feeling them warmer than before.

What was she thinking anyway? What were her feelings towards him today? Why did she have to keep wondering? Why was she so unsure of her feelings?

Only two days ago she was sure she had figured it out her feelings towards Chat: Love but not romantic love. But then she had remembered Adrien, and now she knew Adrien was Chat, and all the "now" feelings were mixing with her past feelings and her body felt like it was going to burst and turn into confetti.

She sat on the side of the sofa, her head leaning against the arm, hugging her legs close to her chest. She gave another look at the sleeping boy in her sofa, catching in the corner of her eye a cat about to attack her host.

"Don't you dare," She warned as strong as she could while still remaining to keep her voice in a whisper.

The cat growled, but walked away from Adrien, jumping to Marinette's arms instead. It moved in circles until he felt comfortable and lied in her lap.

Marinette petted his head, "I'm sorry, I know I've neglected you but don't attack Adrien, he is a good kitty, I promise."

"As I've said before he is jealous because I'm the better cat—

"Jesus fucking Christ, Adrien," Marinette clenched her hands and tried to cover her face with them at the same time. Too many scares for so little time.

"Sorry, princess didn't mean to startle you," He apologized.

"How long you've been up?" She asked. Her breath still shaking.

"I just woke up I promise," He chuckled. "Cat-Adrien's tail hit my face… wait should I call it Cat-Adrien or Chat Noir now?"

"I hate you," She slapped his leg, crossed her arms in front of her chest and pouted.

"No, no, Mari, it was a joke," Adrien wrapped his arms around her shoulders. He hid his face in the crook of her neck, "But, really how do I call it?"

"It's Adrien, and if you try to tease me again he is going to be the only cat I'm gonna pet for the rest of my life,"

Adrien gave a dramatic gasp, "You're cruel,"

"You're annoying," Marinette let out a big gasp of air. "Okay, now you're up, move your annoying skinny body and make room for me on my sofa,"

"I think this is my sofa now, I use it more than you. The floor is all yours—ah, don't look at me like that, I'll make room,"

Marinette giggled, she wasn't sure what face she had just made but his reaction had been funny.

Adrien stood up, letting Marinette sit with her legs crossed on the left corner of the sofa, then he came back to lie on the sofa, this time his head on top of Marinette's legs.

It was the usual position they had adopted when they were together, but tonight it was more comfortable than ever. Chat Noir's suit was great for fighting crime and run on top of the rooftops of the old city of Paris, but wearing it indoors started to get uncomfortable after a few hours. Now as Adrien, he was as comfortable as he had ever been in this apartment.

"How is that Alya hasn't smashed my door, yet?" Marinette asked. Drawing circles with her fingertips on Adrien's neckline.

"Damage Control is Nino's middle name," Adrien explained. "But, also, I believe they found something else to keep Alya occupied. Nino gives me space, but he is being too quiet"

"Something about me or you think they're finally all over each other?" Adrien snorted. "What? It's gonna happen sooner or later, they can't hide it any longer,"

"Yeah, yeah," Adrien nodded, "But I think it's about you, maybe even about me…" Adrien sighed "He was sending me updated on Alya, and asking about you but he stopped. When he finds a clue or new information he texts me immediately, and he hasn't done that so I think he is trying to protect me,"

"Protect you from what?"

"Papillon…" Adrien took a deep breathe, "We divided assignments. I take care of you and try to figure it out how and why you turn into a weird version of Ladybug. Nino has to keep decoding books and trying to connect information from them to what we know about you, my father has his own information and now he had the contact with other miraculous holders, who he had to reach for help. Finally, Alya was supposed to find more about Papillon,"

"You think he can still hurt us?"

"Not physically…"

Marinette understood immediately. It was in the way his body tensed, how his eyes were not glimmering, and the old conversations that returned to her head; he always avoided talking about the man who had terrorized Paris. Something had happened.

"Let's change subjects," Marinette suggested.

"We don't have to, you can ask… at some point, I'll have to stop dodging the conversation. It was easier before, but now you know and you deserve to know your own past too.

"But it's not important now, Adrien. It's a memory loss problem, right? Let's try to fix that first, and wait for it to come back

"What if it doesn't?

"Then I'll ask you and you'll tell me," Marinette kissed his forehead, "Now you can tell me about these other holders. Did I know they existed?"

"These ones my father is trying to contact, no, but we studied the miraculous together, we knew other sets existed. They are divided into zones, maybe the word region is better? I can't remember exactly, it's been a while, but it's basically the same set of miraculous powers with different animals."

"So, someone else out there can destroy a building by just touching it?"

"No, I mean I don't know—See? Wrong word again, eh, not powers but energies and elements associated with them, the Chinese element chart, to be precise. For example, Nino is the turtle of our set, and his associated element is water. I know Nino has some sort of healing magic, so I suppose someone, somewhere, must have a similar power to his, I don't know if the same as him, but—ah, don't laugh at me, it's been so long and I suck at explaining!"

"I think you're doing a great job, chaton," Marinette touched the point of his nose, "I understood what you meant, and that's the only thing you have to worry about."

"Still, I'm mad that I don't remember! We spent so much time studying and reading about it, you know? And now I can barely explain,"

"Your brain is full of stars and black holes, those hard to understand too, believe me, I tried to study them,"

"Did you?" Adrien rose a brow, now he remembered what Marinette and Alya said about Mari's strange likes and personality after waking up, all of them seemed to be related to him.

"Yeah, I was really sure that I was interested in that, not that is not fun, but it's not my thing," Marinette sighed, "It's yours… just like studying abroad

"—and cursing a lot," Adrien added, "You do it less and less now, have you noticed?"

Marinette blinked fast, "Now that you mentioned it, you're right… I hadn't notice. You cursed a lot?"

"Yeah," Adrien gave an amused smile, "I was out of my father's sight for the first time ever, I felt so free and curse in English are really easy to include in your vocabulary, they're so catchy," Marinette laughed.

"True," Marinette threw her head back, "So basically, I picked up everything you were doing at the moment when I disappeared?"

"It is what I think too," Adrien nodded. "I don't know how to explain it though"

"I do," Plagg popped out of nowhere, sitting on Adrien's hands.

"You do?" Adrien asked skeptically.

"We assume our lovely miss right here was in danger, which makes me believe she called you, asking for help,"

"Oh," Adrien sat down in a swift move, almost hitting Marinette in the face. "That could be the rare energy you felt from Tikki?" He asked excitedly.

"No," Adrien's face changed immediately, all the happiness disappearing. "This is completely different, it has nothing to do with my connection with Tikki, this is a connection between you two."

"Like a magical bond?" Marinette asked.

"Yeah, we can call it that…" Plagg rolled his eyes. "Let's say you are… ugh…remember that term you said, ugh you said it on one of your classes the other day, the really boring class you were giving," Adrien frowned, "This kid wouldn't stop asking about it. Something of two stars having a common center of gravity,"

"You were so bored you picked up almost everything, uh?" Adrien chuckled, "Binary stars, it's called binary stars,"

"Yeah, whatever. I think that suits you better,"

"Mari and I are binary stars?" Adrien asked confused.

"You share the same energy, you have a common 'magic-center'" Plagg said, "The longer you have the miraculous and make use of them together, the stronger the bond between you guys turns, it makes you better in battle, more coordinated. The bond exists because you're yin and yang, you need to complement each other… now, this only works when you're transformed, when the magic is all over you,"

"But we're not sure if I was transformed, I don't have Tikki now," The guilt was imprinted to her words.

"I was getting to that, don't interrupt," Adrien took a look at his kwami. Plagg didn't sound annoyed by Marinette not letting him continue, it seemed like he was annoyed because Marinette's question was smart and deserved another elaborated answer. With time Plagg had shown to be more mature and serious than Adrien ever thought possible, and since Tikki and Ladybug had disappeared he always gave the answers he needed, he was always honest and he didn't run around trying to dodge the questions, but now it seemed like he was doing exactly that. He gave a real answer, but not the one they were asking for.

"I'll say you're special…" He shrugged.

Marinette opened her mouth to speak, she looked annoyed and ready to claim a more elaborated answer, but Adrien interrupted.

"Does it have to do with what happened in the battle?" He balled his hands into fists.

"Yes," Plagg nodded. "The connection between you two is stronger because of that… I would dare to say that Marinette's anxiety attacks and shifts into Ladybug could also be associated with that connection. Last time, when she had purple eyes, I did not only feel akuma energy, I also felt yours. Once you calmed down, to try to help her, the energy vanished, and so did Marinette's purple eyes."

Adrien stood up from the sofa, pacing back and forth. Marinette looked at him, not sure if she should say something.

Only moments before she had let the subject pass by, it was clear that Papillon was a delicate thing to talk about, but now it was back, and it made her more curious than before. He had mentioned the battle… what had exactly happened there?

There were little to no videos of that day: a few news reports, low-quality snapchats, and twitter videos. Testimonies of people who had been close to the battles, and a few pictures of the superheroes running on the streets and bringing back citizens that had been taken by the villain to get the miraculous as ransom. Between them Nino, but who had been unconscious the whole battle so couldn't provide any useful information.

The identity of the man had been kept secret and the trials were never televised or covered by the media.

So basically, the only humans who know what happened were Papillon, who Marinette knew was in jail and probably would never tell her anything; her, who couldn't remember a single thing about that day, or any other's as Ladybug for the matter; and finally, Adrien, who remembered everything but was scared to talk about it.

Marinette wanted to know. Marinette needed to know.

"Can I ask Plagg?" Marinette whispered. She kept looking at the floor while she did.

"You said you were gonna ask me later…"

"Yes, but now… I think I deserve to know, and if you are scared of—

"I'm not scared of talking about it!" Adrien snapped. "I will when I'm ready!"

"Don't yell at me," Marinette stood straight. Adrien had never talked to her like that, and she didn't like it, no matter what was the reason behind that behavior.

"Then don't ask, you just said that we could talk about something else,"

"That was before Plagg revealed something important. I'm not asking you! I'm asking him and he doesn't need to tell me everything, only what he thinks made the connection appear,"

"Not tonight, Marinette," Marinette wasn't sure if that was an order or a beg.

"Adrien, please!" Marinette took a step closer, "It's about me, it's important! I deserve to know the important parts. I know is hard but that's why I won't ask you,"

"The important parts? Every part is important, Marinette and you don't remember anything so how can Plagg now what to tell you and what to keep, uh?"

"Adrien, calm down," Plagg slapped his cheek, winning an angry glare back from his holder.

"She just said that," Adrien mumbled the rest, his anger clearer and clearer every second that passed.

"Adrien, she deserves to know, she lov—

"Okay, okay! Do you want to know what happened? Like the important part?" Adrien let out a scary giggle. Marinette tried to take his hands again, but he held her by his shoulders. She felt an electric shock on her body and when she saw herself reflected on his eyes, she saw her purple eyes glimmering, but Adrien didn't seem to care, he was in a whole other world.

"Adrien, calm down," Calm down, calm down, calm down, calm down.

"You really wanna know?! I'm such a great superhero, so smart and so agile! So, great, that I died, Marinette! I fucking died!" He shouted and started laughing uncontrollably. He let her go, but stood in the same place, laughing, grabbing and pulling his hair. Tears started streaming down his face.

"Adrien," Marinette froze, not sure what to do, not sure if she was going to lose it soon too.

"Go to your room, Marinette," Plagg said. Marinette was about to refuse, but the cold glare of the kwami made her shut her mouth again. "Go. To. Your. Room. Marinette."

Marinette nodded and ran to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She pressed her back on the door and fell to the floor, the tears were already rolling down her cheeks. She covered her mouth with her hands, trying to stabilize her breathing.

Everything was going great and now she was back in the nightmare, in the dark, scared, crying and with the sound of Adrien's crazy laugh in the background.