Two in one weekend...try not to get used to it. Also this chapter sorta...took on a mind of it's own.

Chapter 42

Olivia rushed into her apartment, letting the door slam as she dropped her bag and tossed her coat towards the closet, allowing it to hit the ground. She didn't care. After only a few days at Community Affairs, she was miserable and angry. So angry that she and Lucy had decided she would go home, shower and change, before Lucy would get Noah from daycare. It gave Olivia a chance to blow off steam so she could enjoy and soak up the evening with her son. Only this day, when she arrived home, her apartment was not empty.

"Liv?"

Ed came wandering out of her kitchen, his gray sweat pants hanging low on his hips and a tight white undershirt hugging his arm muscles tightly.

"What's wrong?"

"Just…fuck," she exclaimed, shaking her head and rubbing her lips.

"Hey," Ed said, quickly making his way over to her and gathering her into his arms. "Okay, babe," he said softly, rubbing her back. He could feel her body shaking with what he assumed was frustration. They stayed like that for a while before Ed pulled back slightly and traced her cheek with his index finger. "Okay?"

She shook her head. "None of this is okay," she said, her voice trembling. She took a quick look around the room. "Noah? Emma? Lucy?"

"Lucy took Noah to the park. Emma has a therapy lesson. Just us."

Olivia narrowed her eyes and launched herself at Ed, kissing him with such force he stumbled backwards and into the counter.

"Oof," he said, causing Olivia to pull back briefly.

"Okay?"

"Oh yeah."

"Good," she said, attacking his mouth once again. Their kiss was desperate, frantic, almost rough as their hands began to roam quickly and firmly all over their bodies. Olivia made quick work of his white tee and felt Ed unbutton the top couple of buttons of her blue polo. "I hate this shirt," she spat. "Fucking hate it."

Ed lightly ran his fingertip along her collar bone, brushing the coarse feeling material to the side as he traced her smooth skin.

"Stupid shirt," he mumbled, his eyes roaming up and down her body. "I can take care of that…"

His eyes darkened and Olivia raised her eyebrows, before letting out a yelp as Ed took both hands and ripped the polo straight down the front and off of her body.

"Ed," she gasped, half in shock and half in ecstasy as he already had his hands on her breasts, squeezing, caressing, and pinching. Unable to help herself from chuckling at the fact that Ed Tucker literally ripped the ugly polo off of her body, she let her head fall backwards and sighed as Ed placed kiss all over her neck. Nipping and sucking, he moved to her pants and unbuttoned them, shoving his hands inside of them so he could squeeze her behind and pull her flush against him.

"I need you," she said breathlessly, suddenly standing up straight and moving him towards her bedroom. "I need you…"

Ed's eyes were dark and full of desire for her. As soon as they got into her room, he gently tossed her onto her back, swiftly pulled her slacks off and landed on top of her. Ed slowed them down briefly, taking time to trace the pattern of her face and stare at her.

"I love you, Olivia Benson," he whispered. "I love you more and more every day."

"I love you too," she rasped, laying still and allowing him the time he needed to admire her. She lasted a few moments before she began to shift, still a little self-conscious of just how deeply he would admire her when they made love. "I love you, Ed," she said, shifting her hips and moving her mouth right up against his ear. "Make love to me, Captain."


"Have you heard from my dad?" Emma was walking so close to Olivia that their arms were brushing with every step. Olivia had blown off Community Affairs, taken Emma out of school, and they spent the day wandering around the city before having dinner. They both desperately needed distracting, so Olivia made the executive decision and hoped Ed would forgive her later for helping Emma play hooky. He had been called back yet again to answer questions related to his connection to Father Eugene and the sex trafficking ring, and from the looks of it the stress was wearing on Emma more than either Olivia or Ed had realized. In fact, the recent case implicating Ed had rattled Emma so much it was pushing her closer to Olivia and she was powerless to stop it. Olivia could tell Emma was fighting it, desperately trying to keep her distance and protect her heart, but Olivia saw this as an in - a way of finally cracking through Emma's hard shell and allowing their relationship to strengthen again, gaining back the ground they lost after the hostage situation.

"No," she sighed. "I saw him briefly when he was on break, right before I came to get you."

Emma bit her lip nervously and slowed down, looking up at Olivia with wide, scared blue eyes. "What's gonna happen, Olivia? What's gonna happen to my dad?"

"Oh sweetheart," Olivia said, pulling her into her side and kissing her head. "He's gonna be okay. My squad…my squad is on it. They aren't going to let him go down for any of this."

"I wanna believe you," Emma whispered, pulling back out of Olivia's embrace but still remaining close. "But…"

"I know," Olivia said, her voice dripping with compassion and empathy. "I know, Emma. All I can say is that I'm right here. We're all gonna get through this."

Nodding, Emma glanced up as they rounded the corner and neared Olivia's building. She squinted her eyes as she spotted a man leaning against the iron fencing that separated the ramp into the building from the city sidewalk. Sensing something was off, she shuffled closer to Olivia, which caught the older woman's attention and she looked up, her entire body tensing.

"Lieutenant Benson," the man said, pushing off the fence and nearing the duo.

Olivia immediately stepped in front of Emma. "Monsignor," she said, trying to hide her surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh," he said whimsically. "Thought I'd just…stop by. Check on you. See how you were holding up. I know this is all quite hard to process."

Olivia's eyes narrowed and her gut twisted. She turned around ever so slightly and squeezed Emma's hand. "Go on inside," she said quietly. "Wait with Pierre at the front desk. I'll be right in."

"No," Emma said, her voice steady. "I'm staying with you."

"It's okay," Olivia soothed. "He's just someone I know from work. I promise you it's okay. But why don't you wait in the lobby, okay? I'll talk to him quickly then we can go upstairs together."

Emma took one more look at the man standing in front of them and chills ran through her spine. Finally she did as Olivia requested, sneaking glances back as she moved inside the building. Once Emma was out of sight and earshot, Olivia's demeanor switched.

"What the hell are you doing here," Olivia seethed, taking a step towards the Monsignor.

"Eugene filled me in on what happened with his cousin," he said simply. "I wanted to see if I could offer any support."

"Fuck you," Olivia said, her voice getting louder. "Get away from me. From us."

The Monsignor smiled, not rattled in the least by Olivia's words. Instead, he cocked his head to the side. "That Eddie's little girl?"

Olivia stayed silent, her jaw set and her face hardening. He made an exaggerated show of trying to peer into the lobby to get another look at Emma. "She's quite beautiful," he murmured. "Would hate for something to happen to her."

Olivia felt her entire chest constrict as a wave of nausea rushed over her at the threat she had just heard. She moved forward, raising a hand and ready to shove the Monsignor into the wall of the building, but he side stepped her and began to walk away, whistling lightly.

"Take care, Lieutenant," he said, back still to her, as he disappeared around the corner.

Olivia, still shaking, took a few more minutes to try and compose herself before she went back into the building and got Emma. Closing her eyes, she thought about who to call, and ultimately landed on Mike Dodds. After firing off a text for him to get over to her apartment as soon as he could, she took a deep breath and made her way back into the lobby.

Emma was pacing between the front desk and the corridor of three elevators. Upon seeing Olivia enter, she made a beeline for her.

"Olivia!" She ran right to her and stopped, grasping at her arms as she saw the look on the woman's face. "Who was that?"

Still working to stay calm, she gave Emma a small smile and took her elbow, leading her to the elevator. "Come on," she said softly. "Let's get upstairs and we can talk."

"Everything okay, ma'am?" Pierre, one of the regular doormen and Olivia's favorite, looked at her with a concerned face.

"Just fine," she said, forcing a smile. "Thank you for keeping Emma company."

"My pleasure, ma'am."

As they waited on the elevator, Olivia stepped back over to Pierre. Knowing Emma was watching her like a hawk, she kept her voice low. "If that man comes back near this building, call 9-1-1. Got it?"

Pierre, always the professional and understanding the way Olivia was handling this, merely nodded with a small smile.

"Yes ma'am."

"Thank you," Olivia patted his arm and jogged back over to Emma, stepping into the elevator. As she watched the numbers go up, her brain scrambled for ways to be honest with Emma, but not terrify her. Olivia knew exactly what the Monsignor was threatening and she was not about to let anything happen to the young woman next to her, the young woman whom she had grown to love deeply.


"So let me get this straight," Carisi said, rubbing the back of his neck as he paced around the table in the squad room. Rollins sat back watching him process the newest information from Olivia. Fin was pouring over the camera footage from outside of Olivia's building and Dodds was in his temporary office, on the phone and from the looks of it was not liking what he was hearing.

"This Monsignor, out of no where, just decides to approach Benson and threaten Tucker's kid?"

"Look, I know this is hard for you to wrap your mind around, choir boy, but that whole little operation is one giant operation covered up by the Catholic church," Rollins spat, clearly showing no compassion towards how difficult this was for her partner.

"Yeah, well," Fin said, his eyes wide as he looked over at the other detectives. "There's no sound on this video, just the movements. We know Liv is tellin' the truth, but if the brass is looking to pin this on her and Tucker, this ain't gonna help…"

"Tucker know yet?" Carisi had stopped pacing and collapsed into a chair, hands resting on the table and cradling his face.

"Not that I know of," Fin replied. "Liv said he's still down at One PP."

Rollins shook her head. "I have a feeling we will know when Tucker finds out."

"Yeah, he ain't gonna take this well."

Just then Mike Dodds came storming out of his office, face reddened. "There's been an accident," he said, grabbing for his coat. "Sister Nina. Let's go."

Grabbing their jackets, Rollins and Fin followed quickly behind Dodds. Stunned, Carisi took a few moments to collect himself before taking off behind them.

Several hours later, Carisi stood over the body of Sister Nina and bit his lip. Most officers had backed off, securing the scene and waiting for the ME, but Dodds quietly approached Carisi and knelt down next to him.

"You okay?"

Sonny shook his head. "No," he whispered. "I'm not."

Not knowing what to say, Mike stayed right next to the other detective in silent support. After a few minutes, Carisi sniffed and took a deep breath.

"She was trying to help those girls," he whispered. "She led a life that was just, holy, and good. And this is how it ends for her? What kind of God does that?"

Mike squeezed Carisi's shoulder. "I'm not much of a religious man," he said softly. "And I can't answer your question. But we can get her justice. You can help get her justice."

A few tears fell onto the ground next to Sister Nina's body before Carisi stood up and wiped his face. Mike followed suit, keeping an eye on Sonny.

"Liv know yet?"

"No."

"She's gonna lose her shit…"

Dodds let out a long, resigned breath before patting Carisi on the back again. "I should probably get to her before word gets out," he said. "Ya okay here?"

"Yeah," Carisi said quickly, nodding. "Yeah, I'm fine. Go tell Liv."


Olivia sat on Ed's couch with her head in her hands, listening to Ed pace the apartment. It had been a couple of days since Sister Nina's murder and other than a visit and two calls from Sergeant Dodds, Olivia and Ed were mostly kept in the dark. She had always assumed the squad wouldn't divulge every detail, both for their protection and hers, but the radio silence was almost deafening. Her career, Ed's career and his actual freedom, and Emma's safety were all at stake and the muted updates from her detectives were eating her alive. The only information they had was from the news when Father Eugene had officially become the sacrificial lamb of he operation.

"She shouldn't be at school," Ed spat for the third time that morning. "Eugene wasn't the one who threatened her…"

Sighing, Olivia wearily lifted her head from her hands and stared him down. "Fin and two other officers are there," she said, frustration eating into her tone.

"Easy for you to say, she's not your kid," Ed grumbled, before freezing, immediately regretting his words.

Olivia flew up from the coach and pointed her finger at him. "How dare you," she seethed. "You really think I'd gamble with Emma? With anyone, but especially with her? I love that girl, Ed Tucker and you know it."

"Liv…"

"Don't say anything," she said, shaking her head. "I know you're frustrated. I know you're scared."

"I'm terrified, Olivia!" Ed finally gasped, banging the side of his fist hard against the wall. "I'm fucking angry and scared out of my mind."

Not flinching at his outburst, Olivia bit her lip and moved towards him, taking his rugged face in her hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered, kissing his lips softly. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"No," he said, pulling her tightly into his chest and looking up. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I just…"

"I know."

"We can't let this tear us apart, Liv," he begged, clutching her tighter. "We can't. I can't lose you."

Olivia returned his tightened squeeze. "You won't," she said, allowing them to stay like that for a few minutes, breathing in each other.

"I'm sorry I never told you about Eugene," Ed finally said, breaking their solace.

"It's okay."

"Is it?"

Olivia pulled back and shrugged. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hurt," she admitted. "That it didn't cause my mind to doubt, ever so slightly, that I didn't know you as well as I thought. But…we've been through a lot, Ed. It's been heavy and sometimes brutally awful, and I can't fault you for never bringing up your cousin. Especially if you're not close."

"When this is over," Ed said, causing Olivia's face to brighten as it was the first time he had shown a sign that they would get out of this situation unscathed. "When this is over, we can stay up all night and divulge all of our secrets."

Ed smirked at her and she threw her head back and laughed. "An all-nighter, huh? What are we, college kids?"

"No," Ed said with a shrug, his arms snaking back around her waist and swaying them back and forth. "Just two people in love, with a whole lotta crap being thrown at them."

They heard the lock jiggle and turned around just in time to see Emma come in, Mike Dodds right behind her.

"Dodds," Olivia said, her voice unable to mask the surprise. "I expected to see Fin."

"Ah," he said, nervously looking around. "I, ah, wanted to come talk to ya."

Olivia swallowed and Ed steeled himself. Emma looked between the three adults and went into the kitchen.

"Just gonna grab something to drink," she said softly, reaching for a glass and a soda. "Then you guys can do whatever…I'll just go to my room."

Ed moved around the kitchen bar and kissed her head. "Good day?"

Emma shrugged. "It was fine," she said.

"See Fin at all?"

Letting out a chuckle, Emma nodded. "I passed him a few times. He definitely had a don't fuck with me face with his dark sunglasses on."

Olivia, overhearing the exchange, let out a smile. "He was definitely the right one for the job…"

"Where's Noah?"

"Still napping," Olivia said. "Probably for another half hour? Took him to the park for a while and he wore himself out climbing around."

Emma nodded, tossing the can in recycling after fixing her glass and reaching for the Cheez-Its. "I'll set this up in my room," she said. "Is it okay if I take him in with me? We can hang out when he wakes up."

Olivia nodded and gave Emma a smile, appreciative of her understanding and aware of her need to not be alone. She may be a seasoned cop kid, but Olivia could tell she was rattled. "Of course," she said. "Need help?"

"Nah, I got it."

The trio waited until Emma had disappeared down the hallway, clicking the door closed once she had Noah, and Ed gestured towards the living room.

"What's going on, Mike," he asked, assuming he was there with some heavy updates.

Wasting no time, Dodds jumped right to the point. "Look, my dad is ready to throw you both under the bus."

Olivia's jaw dropped, but Ed remained steady as if the news didn't surprise him.

"Of course he is," he quipped. "Saving his own ass is a Dodds specialty."

"Ed…"

"It's okay, Lieutenant," Mike said quickly. "But, Tucker, you brought this on yourself."

Ed scoffed and shook his head.

"What do we do," Olivia asked, unwilling to give up. "Where do we go from here. This isn't the end, Mike, and you know it."

Mike didn't say anything.

"Ya know, I'm disappointed in you," Olivia finally said. "For a while I was beginning to trust you. I thought maybe you were nothing like your father. You were becoming one of us, one of the squad. But now?"

Mike looked over at Olivia and gave her a soft smile. "This is bigger than me," he said simply. "Look, Tucker takes an early retirement and hopefully keeps his pension as long as we move quickly, before they try and pin this on him being a dirty cop. Then we can work on you getting your job back."

Ed let out an exhale, but Olivia shook her head.

"No."

"Liv…"

"Not a chance in hell am I going to sit back and allow the NYPD to let the Monsignor, who by the way is the one who threatened Emma, run free while Ed loses his career."

"Lieutenant Benson, you know this could cost you your job at SVU, or maybe you're own pension." Dodds said carefully. "Wanna be at Community Affairs forever? Or worse?"

"Not worth it, Liv," Ed said out of the corner of his mouth.

"It is," she said defiantly. "You are worth it. It's not gonna end this way," she said, standing up and grabbing her phone.

"Olivia, what are you doing," Dodds asked, standing up and ready to stop her from doing something she'd regret. "The Monsignor's threat was empty." he said, shrugging.

"I'm calling the one squad member who can help me right now. Sonny's faith is so strong, there's no way he's gonna back down from this" she said, searching for Carisi's number before looking back up incredulously. "I cannot believe you aren't taking this asshole's threat seriously after they threw Eugene to the wolves. Are you that naive, Sergeant Dodds?" Olivia's eyes were fire and burning holes straight through Mike Dodds as she held her phone against her shoulder.

"Olivia, once we back off, he's not gonna come after Emma."

"And you just proved you haven't been at SVU long enough to run this unit," she seethed. "I don't care what this costs me. I've risked my career before and I'll do it again. That girl will be safe and Ed Tucker will have a clear name."


Forty-five minutes later, Emma came padding out of her bedroom with Noah in her arms.

"Mommy," he said, reaching for Olivia and cuddling into her chest. Olivia kissed at his messy bed-head and rubbed his back. "Juice?"

"I got it," Emma said, moving quickly into the kitchen and grabbing a cup. "My dad here?"

"He went down to the gym," Olivia said, sitting on the couch and rocking Noah as he woke up from his longer than usual nap. "Feeling okay, sweet boy?"

"Yeah," he sighed, but showed no signs of wanting to leave her arms.

Emma came over and handed Noah the juice. She stood for a couple of seconds, before deciding to sit on the chair as opposed to sitting next to Olivia.

"I overheard some of what happened earlier," she admitted softly, looking down at her hands as she turn them over on her lap.

"I'm sorry, Emma," Olivia said, shifting Noah so she could face her directly. "I'm sorry this is happening."

Emma didn't say anything for a while. She picked at her leggings and bit her lip, occasionally shifting in her seat. "That Dodds guy," she said. "He seemed…nice…ya know, back in January."

Olivia pressed her lips in a straight line, debating how to respond. She finally decided on simple, honest truth. "He has a good heart," she said. "Or, I think he does. But sometimes, well, sometimes when pressure comes from powerful people…"

"He caved."

Nodding, Olivia agreed with her. "Seems that way."

"But my dad…he's not gonna go to jail or anything, right?"

"Right," Olivia said firmly. "That is the one thing I can be sure of right now."

They remained silent, the only sounds coming from Noah as he slurped the rest of his juice. The little boy leaned forward, placed his cup on the table, and squirmed to get down.

"Tains?"

"Sure," Olivia said. "You know where they are."

He scampered off by the fireplace and pulled out his toys. Once he was busy and occupied, Olivia turned her attention back to Emma, but before she could open her mouth, Emma started talking.

"You would really risk your career for my dad? For me?" Her head was tilted to the side and her eyes, the Ed Tucker icy blue eyes, studied her carefully. If it hadn't been such a serious moment, Olivia might have chuckled at just how similar their scrutinizing looks were.

"I would."

"You love your job."

"I do," Olivia allowed. "But I trust that my squad. They won't let this case go. It may take longer than we'd like, but they'll nail these guys."

"It's still a big risk you're taking," Emma pushed. "Why?"

Olivia paused and tentatively reached out to grasp Emma's hand. "Because I believe in your dad. I believe in him with every fiber of my being. He is a good man. A strong man. He has principles and beliefs and integrity. He works hard. He loves you and Nate. He loves Noah."

"He loves you, too."

Olivia smiled. "And I love him," she said softly. "I love you too, Emma. I want you to feel safe and loved and supported. So this? Right here? Clearing your dad's name and ensuring your safety?"

They two women paused briefly and their eyes met before Olivia continued.

"It's worth the risk."