Snake Way
December 24, A762
"Thanks for driving us through Snake Way, King Kai," Yamcha said, "I didn't expect this to go so quickly."
Sure enough, King Kai's 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air was cruising down Snake Way with no issues. At first it had been a bit frightening from the speed, but once the passengers had come to terms the car wouldn't fall of Snake Way, they had relaxed.
"No problem. It's really busy at my place since Goku showed up. I've got new students waiting already!" King Kai said.
"Really? Who's that?" Yamcha asked. King Kai snorted.
"You'll see."
"All right, then, keep your secrets," Yamcha snickered. As they passed Princess Snake's palace, they saw the Princess herself, who blew Meys a kiss; the Saiyan blushed and hid behind Yajirobe. Yamcha snickered at his friend's misfortune.
"I don't know why everyone was freaking out about this Freeza character. Goku had it in the bag the whole time," Yajirobe insisted.
"What happened to 'Goku's gonna die we're all gonna be here forever'?" Yamcha asked.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
They pulled into a parking lot just outside the reception building, where someone was waiting for them. He had a full head of black hair, a pair of sunglasses, and a long moustache and beard. If it weren't for his Turtle School gi and shell, they wouldn't have recognized him.
"Master Roshi, is that you?" Yamcha gawked.
"You got it, boy," Roshi said with a grin, "One perk of being dead? I get to pick what body I want to show off. So, I figured, the beginning of the Turtle Hermit's the way to go. How do I look?"
"Sharp and handsome, Master Roshi! I'm impressed, you must've been quite the lady killer back in the day!" Yamcha said. Roshi's grin lost a bit of its power, but he nodded.
"You know it, boy! Meys, you're looking good, too! You've got some kick in that power of yours now, too!" Roshi said.
"You know it. I'm no Super Saiyan, but I've got tricks that even Raditz won't see coming, more than just the Kaioken," Meys flexed.
"And Yajirobe!" Roshi said, "I didn't even know you were dead!"
"Which makes my death all the more tragic, and my return all the more triumphant. Now you will all appreciate how much I contribute to the team!" Yajirobe insisted.
"...Uh huh."
"So, you're Master Roshi. Good to finally meet you, Yamcha wouldn't stop talking about you," King Kai shook Roshi'[s hand.
"The pleasure's all mine. Any teacher of Goku's is a friend of mine," Roshi said.
"Normally I'd have you run Snake Way, but all things considered, I think we can skip that formality. Besides, it's not every day I get to take this baby out for a drive on Snake Way," King Kai said, patting his car.
"Oh, yeah, don't think I didn't notice this baby. She's a beauty! You're a lucky man, King Kai," Roshi said.
"Ah, I see you're a man of taste. Good, we'll get along just fine. Now, before we head out, I've picked out a couple of fellow students," King Kai said, "I think you'll enjoy they're company. After all, they're old friends of yours."
"Hmm?" Roshi turned, and saw two men walking up to them. One was a Namekian who was tall, slim, and fit. Roshi recognized the other immediately as a youthful Son Gohan, with his black hair and peach-fuzz moustache.
"Gohan?" Roshi couldn't help but choke.
"Hello, Master. I would have gone with my previous appearance, but I had to do something to remind you you're still an old man," Gohan chuckled. Roshi rushed over and hugged his old student.
"I can;t believe it! Oh, King Kai, this is too much, thank you!" Roshi said. He looked over to the Namekian, whose smile was starting to reach the limits of his wide face.
"That must make you…" Roshi pointed to the Namekian.
"Come on, you must recognize your brother!" the Namekian said. Roshi's eyes widened, and he hugged him, too.
"Guru! I don't believe it! You're back!"
"I know we spent little time together on Namek, but when King Kai offered me the chance to be his student, I couldn't help but see you again, brother," the young Guru said.
"It's good to see you again. I don't think we were formally introduced last we saw each other. I'm Yamcha, and this is Yajirobe. We're some of Goku's oldest friends. He's told us a lot about you," Yamcha said bowed to Gohan.
"I've been watching you with him. Thank you so much for looking after my boy. Now I'm a grandfather, with a second grandchild on the way! Almost makes me wish I could go back for another day with Baba," Gohan said.
"WAIT, CHI CHI'S PREGNANT?" Yamcha yelped.
Gohan winked and put his finger to his lips, "Don't tell anyone, not even Chi Chi has found out yet. I only know because I've made it my business to look after Goku and his family here in the Otherworld."
"Oh, wow, another Gohan...Well, little Gohan," Yamcha said, "Goku's gonna flip when he comes home to a little boy!"
"Girl," Gohan corrected.
"A girl! Oh, jeez, you're making this difficult on me, aren't you, Master Gohan?"
Despite having a youthful body again, Gohan's chuckle was that of a mischievous old grandfather.
"Yamcha, would you do me a favor when you get back, and see Goku's family? Give them all my love, especially little Gohan. Tell Chi Chi I'm so happy she's found happiness with Goku, and I'm so proud of her for uniting my family with the Ox King. And tell Raditz he's got a good heart. And tell Brussa not to pick on her brothers too much. And tell Gohan that I'm always watching over him, and I'm proud of both the warrior and the scholar he's becoming. And tell Goku, when he gets back to Earth, that I miss him every day. And tell Gine, Gine most of all, that I'm glad my Goku is back in the good hands he always belonged in. She's a good woman," Gohan said.
"I'll do that, Master Gohan," Yamcha vowed.
"Oh, and one last thing: Tell the Ox King to dig under the rock next to the old sycamore again. He didn't dig deep enough. He'll know what I'm talking about, though he might get real mad. But I always knew I was right," Gohan added.
"You've got it. What about you, Guru? Do you have any messages for the living?" Yamcha asked. Guru shook his head.
"Other than 'Thank you' to the Earthlings who haven't heard it yet, no. I've said my goodbyes. Though if you insist, please look after Slug. I fear he may be troubled," Guru said.
"I'll keep an eye on him," Yamcha gave him a thumbs-up. Guru hesitated, and then gave him the thumbs-up in turn.
"Yamcha, Meys, are you ready?" Kami asked, stepping out of the soul reception building, "Oh, and Yajirobe? I almost forgotten you'd died, too."
Yajirobe gave a dissatisfied grunt, "Some omnipotent Guardian you are."
"Well, we're ready to head back to the Lookout. King Kai, it's good to see you. Roshi, Gohan," Kami nodded to them. He smiled at the Namekian, "And Guru, of course."
"We'll see each other around, Kami," Guru said with a smile.
"Come along, everyone. There's a lot of people missing you back on the Earth," Kami led them back through the reception building, and back to the Lookout.
"So, what do you have for us first, King Kai?" Son Gohan asked, "Am I running Snake Way like my grandson?"
"No, I know you're worthy. I want to get you three into ship-shape as quickly as I can," King Kai said, "I've actually got a mission for you all before Roshi gets wished back to life. But first, there is one test I'll need you to pass before we can begin. It's the most important test of all: You each need to tell me a joke, and make me laugh."
XXX
Briefs Mansion
December 25, A762
"So, explain all this stuff to me?" Meys asked. He held up the box that Yamcha had picked out for Meys to give to Dr. Briefs.
"It's Christmas. On Earth, you give gifts to people you care about. I've spent this holiday with the Briefs a few times, so I know what they like," Yamcha explained.
"So what did you get me?" Meys asked.
"Why, the gift of Yamcha," Yamcha said. Meys rolled his eyes. Yamcha knocked on the door, and the robot butler answered.
"Mister Yamcha, welcome back! I will inform Miss Bulma you have arrived," the butler showed them in. Yamcha nodded to the butler. Meys shook off all the snow that had gathered on his shoulders; naturally, Meys was carrying all the gifts.
"YAMCHA!" Bulma let out a happy yelp, and she launched herself at Yamcha from the stairs. He caught her handily, and they nuzzled.
"You're back," she said, pressing her face into his neck.
"Yup. Meys, too. And Yajirobe, but he just went straight to Korin's."
"Oh, yeah, he died, too," Bulma said, "Hi, Meys!"
"Hi Bulma," Meys said, waving the bottle of wine to her, "Have a good Christmas."
"It's 'Merry Christmas'," Bulma said.
"WAIT I HAVE TO GET MARRIED?"
Bulma laughed, "No. Just come upstairs."
She slid out of Yamcha's arms, and led them upstairs, holding Yamcha by the hand as she went, "Daddy, mom! Look who's here!"
"Hmm? Oh, hello, Yamcha, good to see you again. Meys, you too!"
"Hey Panchy, Hey Dr. Briefs," Yamcha waved to them, "We brought Christmas gifts!"
"Oh you're both just in time for Christmas Dinner, too, what good timing!" Panchy said.
"Wait, Christmas Dinner? Yamcha you didn't say anything about this," Meys said.
"Yeah, Christmas Dinner is a big deal," Yamcha said, "So don't feel bad about whole whole Saiyan tonight."
"I'll put a second roast on, then!" Panchy said, "Or maybe a ham, do you like ham, Meys?"
"I love everything you just said," Meys said.
"I'll put on a ham."
"Hold up, Panchy, we got you something," Yamcha picked up the box with her name.
"Oh, a gift for me? You shouldn't have!" Panchy said, opening it, "Oh, would you look at this! A pandora bracelet, how cute, I had one just like it when I was a girl, I love it! Thank you, boys!"
Panchy walked over, planted a kiss on their cheeks, and went to put the ham into the oven.
"What'd you get me?" Bulma demanded, snatching her gift from Meys. His hands now mostly free, Meys handed the smallest box to Dr. Briefs. Bulma tore the wrapping off the box, and gasped.
"STRAWBERRIES!" she kissed Yamcha, "You know me so well!"
"I got you, babe," Yamcha chuckled.
"Oh, how novel!" Dr. Briefs held up the lighter they'd bought him. It was a model of Jackie Chun, and it shouted "Kamehameha!" when it was activated.
"Thought you'd like that!" Yamcha said.
"It's adorable, thank you boys!" Dr. Briefs chuckled. He put a cigarette in his mouth, and started the lighter. Sure enough, it fired out a blue flame and shouted, "Kamehameha!"
"And what'd you boys get me?" a new voice asked. Yamcha and Meys looked, and saw a blonde woman wearing a pair of overall over a cheesy Christmas sweater.
"Tights? Sorry, we would have gotten you something if we knew you were spending Christmas here," Yamcha admitted.
"Uh, who's this?" Meys asked.
"Could ask you the same thing," Tights said, "I'm Tights, I'm Bulma's older sister."
"Oh, it's good to meet you," he shook her hand.
"She's told me about you, Meys. She never mentioned you were cute," Tights said.
"Sis! Come on," Bulma groaned.
"What? You bring a space warrior to Dad's, and didn't even think I might want to see a picture? You know how much I like men with moustaches," Tights rubbed her finger beneath Meys's nose. Meys started to blush.
"Well, then, Tights, I present to you your Christmas present," Yamcha gestured to Meys. Tights's eyes widened, and she burst into laughter.
"Oh, wow, Yamcha, I think that's the first time you've ever made me laugh," Tights said.
"Mistress Bulma, Puar is here," the robot butler's voice declared from the loudspeaker.
"Let them in," Bulma said. Yamcha held up his finger to his mouth with a smile on his face, and stepped to the side, so he'd be just within Puar's periphery.
"Hi Bulma! I got your message, thanks for inviting me to Christmas Dinner! Sorry, I don't have any gifts," Puar said, floating up the stairs.
"That's okay, Puar, you don't need to get us anything. I know how hard it's been for you since Yamcha died," Bulma said.
"Yeah...I miss him a lot...But the Dragon Balls should bring him back soon, right?"
"Well, I did use the Dragon Balls to get you a gift," Bulma said.
"What? But Yamcha needed that wish! I'd give up every gift I've ever gotten just to see Yamcha again, Bulma!" Puar said, starting to cry.
"Is that a fact?" Yamcha said. Paur turned, gasped, and tackled him.
"Hey, buddy," Yamcha cradled Puar, "I'm happy to see you."
"It's been so hard without you, Yamcha! I'm so glad you're back!"
"Merry Christmas," Yamcha said, petting her.
"Merry Christmas, Yamcha!" she sobbed.
"Aww," Tights said, squeezing Meys's arm. Meys blushed harder.
"Dinner's on!" Panchy declared. Dinner was dominated mostly by Bulma recounting her adventures in space. Puar kept fussing over Yamcha the entire time, imagining scars and injuries and inspecting Yamcha, only to find no further injuries. Eventually, Yamcha feigned stiffness in his neck, and requested an ice pack for it, just so Puar would be satisfied that Yamcha did, in fact, have an injury, for which she kept inquiring about.
Meys's attention was split three ways, between wanting to know everything what happened on Namek, Panchy's marvelous cooking, and being surprised that Tights was also an accomplished space explorer, herself.
"Ever go to Nudal?" Meys asked.
"No, that's inside Freeza's empire. Too dangerous. Mostly I spent time with a Galactic Patrolman named Jaco," Tights said. Meys snorted.
"Oh, yeah, I know Jaco."
"Really? He's a character, isn't he?" Tights laughed.
"You can say that. Slippery, at least! I exhausted myself trying to kill him," Meys said, and then immediately regretted.
"Ugh, yeah, Jaco can be exhausting!" Tights said, "Believe me there were plenty of times I wanted to shoot at him!"
The night went on better than expected. Dr. Briefs, Panchy, and Puar ended up snuggling on the couch, watching some Christmas special. Meys and Tights ended up talking well into the night about their various adventures throughout time and space. Yamcha found himself sitting on the front porch, watching the snowfall over West City. Despite having grown up in the wilderness, the city had a way of Yamcha feeling alive, especially, weirdly enough, at night. The snow, paradoxically, sharpened the feeling.
"You look lost in thought," Bulma said, holding the unopened bottle of wine and a couple glasses.
"Kind of am," he admitted.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked.
"How grateful I am that I met you and Goku," Yamcha admitted, "I spent so much time in the desert, I never thought how alive I'd end up feeling in the city. You really did open my eyes to a whole new world, Bulma. I can't thank you enough for that."
"Aww, thanks, Yamcha. And thank you for the strawberries," she said. He smiled at her.
"I figured you'd enjoy that."
"That's not all that's on your mind, though, is there?" Bulma guessed.
"...No, it's not."
"Come on, you can tell me. With everything we've been through?" Bulma said. He hesitated for a few moments, still looking out to the city.
"Nothing I want to say on Christmas," Yamcha said. Bulma checked her watch.
"All right. You've got ten minutes until it's not Christmas anymore," she said, setting a timer. Yamcha chuckled.
"Fair enough. Hey, what about the Namekians? I'm surprised we didn't have Christmas with them," Yamcha said.
"Oh, we did. Earlier today, anyway. Dad got them all watches with GPS trackers on them, so they'd be able to pinpoint their locations on Earth, or Namek, and always know what time it was in West City, or wherever they are on Namek. You know how he is, why would he give it one feature if it can have twelve?" Bulma said, laughing.
"Okay, well, what did you get them?" Yamcha asked.
"I thought of building them gadgets, but I figured Dad had that covered. So I figured, what's something anyone could use? So, believe it or not, I got them all utility knives. They were a little confused, but then I saw them starting to use them almost right away. Mom made them all breakfast and lunch, despite the fact they only need water. Lemo taught them how to take care of Demsu for a few hours, too. Poor guy doesn't have anything left but Fleur," Bulma said.
"Yeah, you mentioned him at dinner. I'm surprised he didn't join us," Yamcha said.
"I offered, but he said he wanted to spend some time with Fleur. I guess he's got a lot going on in his head, and Christmas is a good time to clear your head. Or get totally smashed. Speaking of which, we never opened that wine you guys brought us," Bulma twisted it open, and poured two glasses. Yamcha accepted the glass and sipped.
"Where'd you get all that stuff, anyway?" Bulma asked, "There's not even a label on this bottle."
"Village called Chazke, all the way out by Mount Paizu. It's kind of why we were so late coming here. He insisted on buying from there," Yamcha said.
"Oh, yeah. He took me there once. They've got this tent boutique with some designs I'd never have found in the city," Bulma said.
"Yeah, Meys is a great guy. Like, with Goku, you're always talking about fighting, but with Meys, you can talk about anything, including fighting. When I was still getting used to the gravity on King Kai's planet, he suggested we play baseball, which was a little tough considering the whole planet is smaller than your yard," Yamcha said.
"To be fair, most places are smaller than my yard," Bulma said.
"Yeah, but you get my point. So we boarded up all the windows, get a bat and a ball, and start swinging. It's working, getting me in the groove of things, but then we hear some glass shatter."
"Oh no!"
"We'd protected the windows on King Kai's house, but we'd forgotten his car!"
Bulma burst into laughter, "Oh, that's too good!"
"King Kai gets furious, and of course I've got the bat. Before King Kai comes out of his house, Meys snatches the bat from me, hands me the glove, and took the blame for it. King Kai forces him to fix the window, and then has him do laps carrying the car. Threatened to double the laps if he left a scratch on it, but the guy was careful."
"Wow, that sounds intense!"
"Yeah. You'd be surprised how well Yajirobe did, too," Yamcha said.
"Oh yeah, he was there, too," Bulma said, and then her watched beeped, "Oh, would you look at that. No longer Christmas. Happy Boxing Day."
"Happy Boxing Day," Yamcha said.
"So? Fess up. What's on your mind?"
"Well, we got the chance to look down at everything going on once in a while. We peeked in on Goku and his family. On you, too. They were so happy, with kids running around, all that noise and happy chaos. It was adorable, and heartwarming, and…" Yamcha took a deep breath, "...And it's not what I want."
Bulma sipped her wine, "...I think I know why you didn't want to do this on Christmas."
"I know I haven't...Been the best boyfriend, Bulma. I've been acting like I don't know what you want. And that's not fair to you," Yamcha said. She held his hand.
"I guess I haven't really given you the space or the chance to figure yourself out. You went from mugging people in the desert to being a baseball player within a few years," Bulma admitted.
"So...I think we should be honest with ourselves. About where we're going, and what we want," Yamcha said, "Because I don't think we can give it to each other. At least not right now."
"Okay," Bulma said, fighting the lump in her throat. She fought it with more wine; Yamcha did the same thing, "I think you're right."
"Doesn't make it easier, though."
"No," Bulma said with a laugh. She wiped her eyes, "I still like-like you. But that's not enough, is it?"
"I feel the same way. But yeah. It's not enough," Yamcha admitted. Bulma kissed him on the cheek.
"Doesn't change you're still one of my best friends. So, let's make Christmas a thing for us. Every Christmas, I want you and Puar here, okay?" Bulma said, "You're still family."
"Thanks, Bulma, I appreciate it."
They shared a few more glasses of wine, mostly in silence, before headed to bed. Yamcha waited for her to leave, before taking the last of the wine, left it on the kitchen counter, and went over to where Dr. Briefs and Panchy had fallen asleep. He scooped up the sleeping Puar, found the room they'd prepped for him, and laid down on the bed.
"Yamcha?" Puar said, mumbling.
"I'm right here, Puar," he said.
"You're really back," she meowed.
"Yup. And I'm not going anywhere this time, okay?"
"Okay, Yamcha," she curled up on his chest, and fell asleep. Yamcha stroked her back, and, eventually, drifted off to sleep, as well.
