There were no fireworks in the outback, only fires and explosions.
Fires were warm enough to chase away the cold on bitter winter nights, and could burn everything he hated down to cinders. He liked to stare into their orange glow and let his mind wander.
Explosions were loud and bright, and tore through obstacles with raw, unfettered fury, and he hungered for that kind of power with a fierce longing, endlessly eager to hold it in his grasp.
Fireworks though... well, he decided they weren't quite either. They were delicate, colourful, shrieking off into the sky and bursting into a shower of confetti lights that tumbled before fading and dying like falling stars. They were airy and glittering in a way explosions just weren't. They were pointless. But oh were they entrancing.
He wasn't sure the outback had any place for fireworks, but maybe the rest of the world did. Maybe that meant now he did too.
Course, he was also intent on packing enough gunpowder into one to blow an omnic into smithereens, but if anything that only made him appreciate them more. The final solution to the problem that had been hanging over his head all this time. Even Roadhog had signed off on it.
Well... he'd looked at Junkrat like he was an idiot when he came in throwing his arms wide and miming his plan as he cackled excitedly, but he'd sighed in a kind of resignation that Junkrat knew to mean 'it's not the stupidest thing you've come up with, and even if you fuck it up you probably won't kill yourself, so I guess we're doing it'. That was good enough for him.
So Junkrat worked on his latest project with a sense of true contentment. Those who noticed seemed pleased that his spirits had improved now that he was taking up a 'hobby', or 'keeping out of trouble' as they probably hoped, Junkrat thought with a snicker. As long as they didn't look too closely at what he was up to it was all good.
And hell, it was nice to have something to pour himself into. Maybe he got a little carried away with the regular fireworks too, in all the creative possibilities, because he knew there were a thousand ways he could make them bloody spectacular, and everyone would be impressed, would finally marvel at something he made cos they'd be the best fireworks they'd ever seen...
Then he'd blow the bot sky high. Cos that was the important part. The plan. The rest was just an excuse, he couldn't forget that...
When he finally announced he was putting on a display his mood felt torn. Drunk with excitement, yet with the prickling claws of something unsettled digging in the back of his consciousness. He couldn't for the life of him place why. He should be through the roof right now, celebrating things about to go right for once, yet… yet a small part of his mind wanted to drag him down, and he didn't understand it. Maybe it was just to be expected. His messed up brain tangling things up when they were laid out so clearly in front of him.
He didn't have time to worry about it. Wasn't like it mattered. His plan would solve everything, and then it would trouble him no more, as distant as a bad dream.
When he finally announced that he was putting on a fireworks show, Lucio and Hana were the two he told first.
"It's gonna be awesome, man," the DJ told him. There was an honest delight in his expression, an enthusiasm that Junkrat hadn't really expected. They'd always made an effort to seem interested in his work, but he didn't think he'd ever seen either of them so visibly thrilled at the prospect of seeing it in action. Was he missing something?
"I'm so videoing it. You better be ready to blow everyone away, Rat," Hana said, and he shook aside his thoughts and cackled.
"Yeah... that's the plan."
More than they knew.
One by one, he went about the base to inform the Overwatch agents of the event.
Mercy thought it was a 'lovely idea' and she was 'proud of him for finding something unstrenuous to work on while he recovered'. Soldier begrudgingly gave him clearance that he hadn't even known he needed to use the rooftop. Tracer asked if she could bring her lady friend. Mei seemed surprised, but he thought he saw her smile. Reinhardt was all loud cheers of enthusiasm, and the cowboy grinned, dipped his hat, and said he looked forward to it... and all the while... all the while that strange feeling continued to needle at him despite how much Junkrat tried to stamp it out.
The omnic he left for last.
When the time came to hunt it down and lay his trap any other emotions he had made way for the fierce contempt that burned beneath his skin, and beneath that, a devilish sense of satisfaction that split his lips wide in a grin. He made no attempt to make the sharp flash off teeth seem friendly.
Bloody thing should have had the sense to look wary as he cornered it in the kitchen, making tea again. He had his frag launcher with him. He was a threat, a danger, and the least it owed him was the dignity of treating him like one rather than offering its stupid little wave and pleasant greeting. Junkrat hated it all the more. He could kill it. He would kill it. It could act superior all it wanted, but it was fooling no one.
"Settin' off some fireworks tonight," he told it plainly. "Everyone's gonna be goin', and don't think I've changed me mind about you or nothin' but I know the others'll kick up a fuss if I don't let ya near stuff, so ya better be there."
The bot inclined its head slightly. If it was confused it gave no sign, as calm and collected as always, its robotic tones perfectly level as it responded. "I would be honored. Thank you for the invitation, Jamison. I'm glad that we-"
"Yeah, shut it, don't give a toss what ya think. Just fuckin' be there, right?" he snapped. Hearing it use his name made his skin crawl. The sooner he was out of its company the better. The sooner it was lying in pieces...
While it paused at his sharp retort, it did not snap back, simply considered him for a moment and then nodded. "I understand."
"Ripper," Junkrat said. Again that grin came back, all too sharp and feral. He had to resist the urge to laugh. "It's gonna be a blast."
The sun was just beginning to set when Junkrat hauled his things up to the rooftop with Roadhog's help. He was starting to feel jittery again, fingers twitching over the various fireworks as he crouched to examine them.
"All good?" Roadhog asked as he dumped the last box, and Junkrat snapped to attention, head swiveling around.
"Course mate, why wouldn't I be?"
Roadhog folded his arms.
Yeah... yeah, there was no hiding his agitation from the big lug, but Junkrat supposed it would be pointless anyway. He flashed a reassuring grin. "Can't blame me for bein' worked up before the big night, ain't nothin' wrong with that. Ya got no need to fret. It's under control, and after this we'll be in the clear! No more bot to worry about, just like it should be. Reckon they gotta let me back on missions soon too, been lookin' forward to that... havin' the old hook an' cook back in action..."
He picked out a firework, turning it in his hands to give them something to do, shooting his partner careful glances. "All we gotta do is pull this off."
Roadhog was quiet for a moment. There was always something to read in those silences though, and Junkrat scowled.
"No, I ain't changin' me mind, ya know I ain't. This has gotta be done. Thought ya agreed."
"Never said I didn't," Roadhog replied. "Just be careful."
Junkrat snorted. "Ain't I always?"
He knew his bodyguard was rolling his eyes behind the dark lenses of his mask. He didn't interrupt again though, simply watched as Junkrat scurried about ordering and arranging his mismatch collection of homemade fireworks. One special one in particular.
Couldn't resist taking a moment to scrawl his customary smiley face onto the side of that one. It was heavier in his grasp, packed with an explosive power that sent pleasant spikes of adrenaline racing through his system.
Yellow. He'd chosen yellow to wrap it. He'd spent hours agonising over every little detail, checking his calculations, testing the contents out on the practice range when he was sure no one was there. Even looking at it he felt a fondness for the thing. All his efforts packaged into a single rocket, the weapon that would rid him of the omnic once and for all.
Almost reverently he set it down in its place.
As time ticked by the last traces of sunlight slid below the horizon, their warmth replaced with a tepid night air that there was no breeze to disturb. It felt stagnant. Still, as if waiting for something to disturb it. To tear the stale dusk apart. He itched for movement, and quickly found himself pacing as the stars crawled into their rightful position.
The sound of the rooftop door opening broke the spell and he saw Lucio and Hana staggering up with them a pile of snacks that threatened to spill from their arms.
"Where do you want this?" Lucio asked, and Junkrat just blinked in confusion.
"Didn't ask ya to bring anythin'..." At least, he didn't think he did. Didn't seem like the sort of thing he'd ask for, he normally never asked for food unless he was pestering Hog to fetch him stuff… an old habit, probably, asking for food was asking for a beating for pushing one's luck where he was from.
Lucio adjusted his balance of the pile, just smiling that infectious smile. "Oh come on, it's not a real party without snacks."
Junkrat still wasn't sure he understood. "Party?"
"Duh," Hana said. "Call it what you like but if there's fireworks it's a party."
She said it with such confidence he supposed there was no point arguing. After a brief ponder, he turned the empty cardboard boxes he'd used to bring his fireworks upside down and let them pile their loot atop. Made a pretty shoddy table, but if it didn't collapse it would do. Junkers were resourceful.
He didn't get a chance to admire his quick thinking because Hana was thrusting a drink into his hand the moment he was done.
"Try one of these!" she insisted, eyes bright and expectant.
Looked like some kind of soda to Junkrat, brightly coloured and covered in a language he didn't understand. He studied it suspiciously.
"It's got ya picture on it," he noted in mild surprise.
"Yeah, just had a box of them shipped in, they always give me free stuff when I do any sponsorship work, being famous has its perks."
"She just wants to brag," Lucio said teased.
"I do not!" Hana insisted, giving him a shove. "Besides, we all know you keep a box of Lucio-oh's in the kitchen."
"It's not me who's buying them, I swear!"
"Oh yeah? Then who is it?"
Junkrat distracted them both by popping the drink open. A cheerful Korean voice rung out and the unexpectedness of the sudden noise startled him into dropping it. Soda spilled out across the rooftop. Junkrat stared at the growing puddle in dismay.
Stupid. It was just a drink, a talking drink but just a drink and not a threat at all, and she'd given it to him with such excitement only for him to go drop it like something contagious...
He cautiously glanced back up. He was ready for her scowl, ready to let her scold him cos he'd fucked up… like he always did...
But the pair of them only looked at him and burst out laughing.
"It's just soda, man," Lucio assured him, "thought you were going to shoot it for a second."
"My bad, should have warned you," Hana said. She was already snapping a picture of the discarded can with her phone though, and after a moment's hesitation, one of Junkrat himself.
His brows furrowed.
"Oh don't be like that," she said, "come on, we all need a picture together! Grab another can, lets advertise my merch!"
She shoved a can into Lucio's hand as well and grabbed one for herself, holding the phone out at arms length and directing them to bundle in close. Junkrat stooped uncomfortably low, bringing himself into level.
"Alright, say nano-cola on the count of three and smile!" she said, posing for the camera. "One, two, three... nano-cola!"
Lucio and Hana had their picture perfect smiles in place, and Junkrat grinned in what he hoped was an acceptable imitation but probably looked deranged because he'd never seen a camera catch him any other way. Wasn't like he spent much time in front of them. Not like the other two.
How many pictures had they posed for? How many fans were clamouring to squeeze in next to them as they leveled their phones up and plastered on their best smiles? What would it be like to have people so eager to be in his very presence?
Nah, it wasn't the life for him.
"Might wanna be careful what ya do with that," Junkrat said as he straightened up again. "Ain't a good idea to have me picture all over the place what with the... uh... crime an' all."
"Didn't you pose for security cameras?"
"Yeah, but that ain't..." he began, fingers tracing the contours of the can without even thinking about it. He tried again, attempting to impress the importance of the matter upon them. "I mean, it ain't a good look, bein' in photos with me. Ya got a reputation, I got... a different kind of reputation. Doesn't mix well."
"You know we don't care about that," Lucio said, "we keep telling you, man."
"I'll just be between us," Hana promised, "and my new background!"
She flashed her phone at them so they could see, and Junkrat snatched a brief glance of himself caught between his customary manic grin and utter bemusement while the smaller two held up their cans and beamed like pros. He looked out of place. Lost. But he was there, somehow, leaning down into the frame and clutching his nano-cola. And they seemed... happy. Why did that leave him feeling so strange?
"Hey, do you want one too Roadhog?" Hana called, shattering Junkrat's daze.
The man grunted, and Hana tossed him a can which he caught in one giant hand. Junkrat set his own unopened soda down, muttering something about final checks.
After that people were quick to arrive. Soldier, the doc and Ana all came together, and Tracer waltzed up with Emily on her arm, Rein, Torb and Brig close behind. They carried fold up chairs and flasks of tea, and Symmetra brought her own custom made earplugs in addition to her visor.
There were people, and noise, and at the back of it all the omnic came floating along with the cyborg by its side, and Junkrat steeled his resolve. Tonight was the night.
No point delaying things.
"Alright, ladies an' gentlemen, prepare for the spectacle of a lifetime!" he shouted, with an energy that felt near feverish. Laughter kept threatening to escape, breathless and senseless, and he didn't know if he was truly excited or terrified but grinning was always his natural response.
The doc and some of the older members clapped politely, but it was drowned out by the loud whistling and shrieking coming from Lucio and Hana's direction.
"Yeah, keep ya pants on," he yelled back.
"Start the fireworks, Rat! Go go go!"
"What the fuck ya think I was gonna do? Blimey, no manners, some folk..." He made a show of shaking his head as if in dismay, limping his way over to the first of the fireworks.
The area was left clear for him, the shaky lines he'd drawn up earlier keeping everyone at bay as he crouched to light the first few. Harmless ones.
As the fuses burned down he took a few steps backward out of the way. Counting under his breath, he jiggled his pegleg impatiently as he watched the sparks draw ever closer to their destination with gleaming eyes. It was only times like these where waiting became a captivating experience. So close, they burned, and the anticipation was as painful as it was sweet...
Then, with a shriek, the first lead the way into the sky, soaring through the night up and up and up until it seemed to slow, hanging momentarily as gravity fought to exert itself.
It exploded into a glorious shower of amber and golds, splitting the darkness apart with sudden blazing light and booming sound that reverberated through his very bones. He could not tear his eyes from the sight. Like freshly spilled stars they were spread out before him, and he could hear the collective sounds of appreciation as the crowd admired his handiwork. They 'oohed' and 'ahhed' over the sight and a warm sensation welled in his chest, his laughter joining the chorus. It felt good.
The next took their turn, dappling the sky with light once again, and Junkrat thought that maybe fireworks did have a point after all... they weren't about fire and destruction, they were about something else, something he still struggled to understand even while he grasped for it with hungry fingers.
When fireworks detonated, it wasn't cries of fear or pain that he heard, but cries of delight, of wonder...
It was wrong. I didn't make sense. It didn't make sense that he was enjoying this, so caught up in the thrill of sending the next bunch of rockets up it was easy to forget his purpose, to think only of the brocades and comets and other shiny things he brought into being…
He needed explosions, chaos wrought with careless hands, that raw power in his clutches because it made him someone more than a fucked up, one legged freak. It made him someone the world needed to notice…
Yet here he was, playing with pretty lights. With pyrotechnics made only to entertain. It felt sinful, a betrayal of his craft that this could feel so good because it didn't deserve to… he didn't deserve to…
But when he picked up the firework with the smiley face scrawled on the side he sobered all too quickly. That he remembered. He'd spent hours on it. Had to make something that wasn't going to shoot straight up, cos he couldn't get away with pointing it at his target, and that was a right pain to engineer. He'd done it though. It would look like just a simple accident. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Scanning the crowd, Junkrat located the omnic, faceplate tilted up to observe the display above. Genji stood on one side of it and the cowboy on the other, but not pressed closely. They'd get off with minor injuries. It was perfect, all laid out before him, he just had to light the fuse.
Trying to keep his hands steady, Junkrat took a deep breath and lined the rocket up so the small mark at its base was facing the right direction. He lit it.
There was no sudden sense of relief, or joy, only a building tension as he watched it burn down. He set his eyes on the omnic instead, taking in the cold metal of its joints and reveling in the fact that soon it would be gone. Things would be right. He'd fixed it. There'd be no danger, and even if they didn't understand it Junkrat would have rid Overwatch of the threat that had been lurking in their very headquarters...
The cowboy said something to the cyborg, and he laughed. Junkrat watched as they spoke, some far off words he couldn't hear. A joke, maybe. He tried to imagine in. Something stupid, spoken in that drawling accent, maybe about horses... maybe about booze…
He thought about their faces as they watched the omnic shatter into pieces.
No, he wouldn't think about that. They wouldn't understand. Overwatch didn't know omnics like he did, they still thought they were people, not the heartless machines they were…
It was going to be difficult watching them afterward, it'd be like Hector all over again. Except it would be different cos this time everyone would see that it was only a terrible accident, and once they got over it everything… would be… perfect...
Then, to his horror, Junkrat watched as the omnic moved politely to the side and allowed the cowboy to take its place so he could talk to Genji more easily.
That was not the plan. No, no no no...
Junkrat's eyes flickered back to the fuse. It was nearly burned down. No time to adjust it.
Fuck. His eyes sought Roadhog, but the mask told him nothing.
Oh fuckin' hell...
He guessed... he guessed he should probably just let things play out. No way he was salvaging it now. The cowboy was just unlucky. It was a shame, really.
He didn't hold the bloke any ill will, he'd taught Junkrat a few cardgames, would tell the archer to ease off if his questions got too pressing, brought him whiskey after his spell in medical... which he was probably expected to drink but Junkrat had used to build a new molotov cocktail... he seemed like a decent sort.
But if Junkrat moved... if he moved, they'd know something was up, cos he couldn't warn anyone unless he knew something was going to happen... if he told them, the game was up. They'd know he was guilty. So... so he just had to wait, right?
People died all the time, he didn't owe the guy a thing. People who got in the way got themselves killed. That's the way it'd always been. Nobody gave a shit as long as they got what they wanted. And he wanted...
He wanted them not to know what he'd been fuckin' planning cos they'd kick him out for sure, and Lucio and Hana would look at him with such disappointment, and it wasn't his fault, it wasn't, they just didn't understand...
It was all the bloody bot.
His teeth grit together. His hands twitched, fluttering at his sides as if thinking about going for a weapon.
The fuse burned down. It was too late. Wasn't like there was anything he could do about it anyway, might as well just close his eyes and let it happen.
The cowboy wasn't anyone special. He wasn't like Lucio or Hana, it shouldn't matter.
Yet even as he told himself as much he felt his muscles tense, lurching forward.
Junkrat hit the cowboy in a diving tackle, sending them both crashing to the ground. Every one of his injuries flared with a jarring pain. There was the shriek of the rocket, and the deafening blast of an explosion close by, the heat of it rolling over him in a wave of scorched air and burning powder.
Then it was silent except for the ringing of his ears.
Worse though, was the knowledge that everyone was probably watching. Cos now they knew, now they all knew...
Junkrat had moved before the firework did. The omnic had been hovering there moments ago. He'd tossed everything away, and for what? A man in a silly hat? Couldn't even remember the bloke's bloody name half the time.
Junkrat was laughing before he knew it, a high and hysterical sound that pierced the quiet and tore it ragged in his wake. The cowboy was just staring. Just staring, and Junkrat had saved his life even though he'd ruined his perfect plan, and somehow it was hilarious in a horrible, horrible way.
Hands gripped him and hauled him back, and Junkrat lost his grin for a snarl, twisting around in the unfamiliar grasp to shake off his foe.
The blade bit into his neck immediately. "What was that?"
There was cold fury in the cyborg's voice, even if his visor hid his face.
Junkrat sneered, still breathless from his laughter. "Dunno what ya talkin' about, mate." He wedged his prosthetic under the blade to keep it at bay, stretching for his frag launcher as Genji pressed forward.
"Don't move, you-"
Heavy hands landed on the cyborg's shoulders and suddenly he was hauled into the air, dangling off the ground with a cry of alarm. Roadhog loomed with every inch of his imposing bulk, a warning growl rumbling in his throat as he held the cyborg aloft. Junkrat cackled.
Soldier's voice cracked out like thunder. "Everyone hold it right there!"
Strangely, they did. Junkrat could feel his breath coming in fast, eyes darting left and right, but he remained frozen in place, locked by some magic he didn't understand.
"McCree," Soldier asked, in his usual tone, "you alright?"
Junkrat watched the cowboy sit up slowly, reaching out to pick up his hat. "Think so," he said after he'd placed it back on his head, running a hand across his jaw. "Bit of a shock, but no harm done."
"Good. Now, I think some of us are going to go have talk. Rutledge, put Genji down."
Roadhog made no move to comply. He was studying Junkrat carefully, looking for some signal.
Junkrat understood.
This was bad. And it fucked up situations you hung onto whatever leverage you had, cos when you were outnumbered and outgunned sometimes backing down was just sealing your own fate, there was no such thing as mercy...
Or there hadn't been. Overwatch was different though, right? Even if... even if he'd burned that bridge, they wouldn't... they wouldn't...
No, they wouldn't. And what would he do anyway? Make a run for it? Shoot them?
That desperate, savage part of him wanted to, because he couldn't let himself be cornered . He needed to fight or flee or do anything but just stand there and take it, needed to cos it was the only way you survived in the world... but there was another part too... and he hated it... he hated how weak that part made him. Because he couldn't do it. He couldn't attack, and he couldn't run, he could only nod and watch as Roadhog dropped Genji to the floor.
The man landed with catlike grace, drawing himself up into a fighting stance.
"Fawkes," Soldier barked, "I think you should come with me."
He was tempted to refuse, but his legs moved on their own, eyes flitting across the ground to avoid the gaze of those still standing in shock. He didn't want to see Lucio. He didn't want to see Hana. He didn't want to know the way they were looking at him.
They took his frag launcher and the satchel he kept his mines in, and he clenched his hands into fists to keep from trying to snatch them back. Ana and Soldier walked on either side of him, Pharah and the doc following behind to block him in.
"You'd better come too," Soldier said to the omnic, sounding tired.
"Of course. I'm sure this can all be resolved."
It floated along to join the procession.
This was all the bot's fault.
A flash of blinding fury struck Junkrat, and he was hit with the urge to throw himself at the thing, to beat it and tear at it and hurt it as best he could until it was nothing more than the pile of scrap metal it deserved to be, because it had ruined everything. He was only trying to make things right and it would take this place away from him. Turn them on him. It's what it wanted. Probably what it had planned all along, he'd just been too slow to stop it.
Junkrat choked down the impulse, movements stuttering as he kept himself in check. He knew they'd stop him before he reached it. He knew everything was already falling away and there was nothing he could do.
His only reassurance was the heavy tread of Roadhog's footsteps tailing them as they left the rooftop.
Down into the corridors of HQ they marched, and it felt too narrow, confined in ways Junkrat thought he'd forgotten. He'd hated it here. He remembered when the walls had been a torment, when the silence had driven him mad with its endless nagging emptiness and he'd felt certain that the only answer was to leave this place in rubble like all the places he'd left behind… what if he had? What if he'd blown a hole in the walls and him and Hog had left this all behind before it began? What if he'd spared himself all of… whatever this was.
They arrived outside one of the small meeting rooms and Junkrat came to a stop, risking a peek at Soldier's grim expression as he tried to work out the next step.
"We're going to have a talk," Soldier said, each word punctuated and sharp, as if he needed to press them into him, "and we're going to set some things straight. Is that clear?"
"Whatever ya say," Junkrat muttered. He shuffled on the spot, and whatever Soldier was waiting for he didn't find it. After a moment he just gestured them in.
The omnic floated forward serenely and Junkrat squared his shoulders, trudging after it with narrowed eyes and fingers that itched for a trigger they couldn't find.
Something slammed. Spinning in a whirl he found the door shut, cutting off a voice mid word. Momentarily confused he could only stare. Closed. Then it sank in.
It was just him and the omnic in the room. And he was trapped.
((In this episode of 'Junkrat screws everything up': Who's buying the Lucio-ohs?
Anyway, I know it's been a long time but I was bogged down with my major project so there was no helping it. But I'm back to writing now!))
