Chapter XXIV

Erik woke up to someone trying to push him away from his place in bed. He moaned and wanted to fight against the force, but he suddenly felt a tiny skull hitting against his chest. He slowly opened his eyes and saw his daughter staring at him with an uncomfortable look on her face.

- Mahtab it's late. – He whispered. – Go back to bed, my dear, will you?

- I want to sleep with you. – She grabbed Erik's shirt sleeve and wanted to climb up next to him. Erik was laying at the edge of his bed and Mahtab did not really fit, only if Erik moved over and slipped backwards a bit. He sighed and did so, and then Mahtab jumped up in bed and cuddled against her Papa.

- Mahtab, you have an own bed and you are such a big girl now… why do you want to sleep like this?

- I am scared. – She buried her face in Erik's shirtfront.

- Of what, dear? – Erik started to soothingly stroke Mahtab's shoulder and back with his long fingers and tried to find out what was bothering her.

- Papa… what is disgusting? What does it mean?

- Who said that?

- Someone on the train. – She looked up at him with her mismatched eyes and they reflected both discomfort and confusion.

- Ssssh… well, now try to sleep my dear, please. Papa will make you feel better. You can sleep here with Papa and Mama, and everything gets better in the morning.

- Please let me love you, Papa.

- I will, and I love you sweetie. – Erik caressed that twisted little face and kissed her forehead. He hugged her close to him, and Mahtab finally fell asleep, and after some time, Erik dozed off again as well.

In the morning Christine woke up with Mahtab sleeping next to her, on Erik's side of the bed. She was surprised as the small girl did not sleep there normally, only when Erik was at the hospital. When she turned her head to the side to examine the child better, she noticed that the girl lifted her head up, and that meant she was awake as well.

- Good morning, Mama. – She smiled.

- Good morning, sweetie… where is Papa?

- In the bathroom.

- What's the time… ? – Christine moaned to herself.

- It's half past seven.. – Mahtab replied, looking at the grandfather's clock and jumped off of the bed to search for something to play with.

- Wait… did you just tell me the time? –Christine gasped, looking at the child as she was suddenly talking in Latin or Hebrew.

- Yes, you asked it. – Mahtab shrugged, just as Erik did in a similar situation.

- How do you know how to read the clock? – Christine asked, still trying to figure out the reason behind Mahtab's capability of doing such a thing.

- Papa taught me to do so.

Christine just was staring at the young girl for some moments. She was so tiny yet, she still needed two months to reach her fourth Birthday. She hasn't seen any 4 year- olds who could read a clock other than Mahtab. It could be that Erik taught her, but she was astonished about the fact of how such a small child is able to remember the process. She, to her knowledge, doesn't even know the numbers yet. But she was wrong. When she asked Mahtab about a simple mathematical question, she answered it correctly. She had to face the fact that Mahtab wasn't only able to add and subtract numbers up to 20, but she already knew some easier ways of multiplying. She could multiply by 10, for example.

- Did Papa teach you these as well? – Christine could not overcome her astonishment while putting on her dress. Mahtab just sat there on the sofa, playing with Erik's pocket watch that she caught to herself from the nightstand.

- Yes. – She nodded. She wasn't as usual, more silent and less excited.

- Is something bothering you, Mahtab? – Christine knelt down in front of the girl, examining her facial expression. She noticed the black eye Mahtab got the day before, and her heart nearly broke upon realizing what danger she had to face. She tried to stay strong, but tears were forming in her eyes and she hugged her daughter to herself.

- Mama, what does the word "disgusting" mean? What is ugly?

Christine could not reply. She knew indeed what was ugly. She could say it so easily about Erik to Raoul, so many years ago, when she described him, but she was simply unable to call her child or Erik ugly those days. Neither of them called Mahtab ugly. Erik stopped calling her a "little monster" as well as soon as Mahtab could understand words told very often to her. They only told her words of love, not hate.

- Oh dear, whoever said that, they weren't right. You are not disgusting or ugly. You are my little one and my daughter. I love you and I was worried about you yesterday. Please promise Mama you will never sneak from me again. Please Mahtab, promise it.

- I do. – She nodded. – I was so scared. I will never do it again. – She lowered her head and shuddered to the thought of the happenings and her enormous fear on the train.

- Do you want to help me to take care of Flo? – Christine caressed the small skull- face, hoping that occupying Mahtab will help her to overcome her distress.

- Yes. – She jumped off of the couch, following Mama to the nursery.

Flo was nearly a year old, and he loved to hug people. He was a very calm little baby, he ate a lot and was extremely lazy. He would mostly sleep, and did not show any interest in moving too much. He crawled, and was able to sit on his own, but standing up and walking just wasn't his cup of tea yet. He was quite silent, compared to being a baby, he would just babble something, but not nearly as much as Mahtab at that age. It worried Christine a bit. Was Flo developing normally? How would he talk in a year if he doesn't even babble too much?

- He is a typical man. – Erik would remark. – You, women talk so much. Us, men, only talk when we have something important to tell. – He let out a small laugh and shrugged, which made Christine laugh as well and eased her worry a bit.

Erik did not find anything special about Flo's quietness. He was a silent child as well, himself, and he was nearly 3 years old when he started talking. He was actually kind of surprised that Mahtab learned to talk so early in her life. Girls tend to develop quicker, as they say. It might very much be the case. Christine was worried if Flo was deaf, for a time, but Erik calmed her about the subject. If it was the case, it would have been cleared up by this age, he always turns to the direction of sounds, and he recognizes his name being called, so there is absolutely no need to worry.

A strange and funny thing about Flo was that he could crawl way faster backwards, so he used this method the most. Erik would jokingly call him a prawn baby sometimes. Christine would often call him "little Erik" or "Erik Jr", which fact the father wasn't too fond of- he thought even one Erik is too much in the household, let alone two of them. He would consequently call his son "Flo" or "Florian", and never use the name "Erik" to address him.

Mahtab and Flo loved each other still, ever since the boy's birth. Mahtab loved to take care of her brother and Florian was smiling at his sister and loved to hug her when she went close to him. When Flo was placed down on the floor, Mahtab sat down next to him and stroke his hair and talked to him a lot. Erik and Christine were so happy to see their children in such a great relationship. They were a bit of worried that Mahtab would be jealous to a newcomer, but nothing like this happened. Mahtab never showed any bad feelings towards her brother. All of it was so idyllic.

At that day as well, Mahtab hugged and kissed Flo, caressed his face and sang some songs to him, only after she went to search for Erik. As she did not get an answer from Mama, she decided to ask Papa again about the thing that bothered her soul. She pushed the music room's door open as she heard the piano, and she did not have to be disappointed: Erik was sitting at the piano, playing a Beethoven sonata. As he noticed the child next to him, he bent down and patted her head with his right hand, then wanted to continue playing, but Mahtab did not leave.

- Do you want to play four- hands? – Erik asked. – The Diabelli Alla Turca, eh?

- No. – She shook her head.

- Oh, you want to practice? – He frowned. – Dear, a bit later please, Papa wants to play now.

- No. I want to talk to you Papa.

Erik did not have too much urge to interrupt Beethoven, but well, if you turn to be a father, your child shall always be first priority over anything else. He let Mahtab climb up on his lap and was listening carefully.

- Well, what does Mahtab want to talk about?

- Please tell me what the word "ugly" means. And why are people scared of me when I don't hide my face? Why do you get a new face on when you go outside, Papa? Why?

Erik scratched his head. He knew that he had to explain this to Mahtab one day, but he never thought that day will arrive so soon. It was even worse thing to explain than the "how does the baby get in Mama's belly" question. How should he explain such an important and life- changing and so messy situation to a four year- old? She might be clever enough to understand how clockworks work, but is she mature enough to understand how society works? Will she understand that people hate her for her looks? She finds nothing wrong with her or his face, as she is too much used to it. He showed her face to her even when she was yet a baby, because he did not want her to get terrified of her own reflection in a mirror, as he did when he was a boy. It went well, but now she doesn't understand the difference between them and "normal" people, and won't get why she gives people heart- attacks. There is no good solution to this situation. He has to answer her though. He has to answer the least painful and heartbreaking way. He sighed and looked at his daughter in a mixture of pity and love. He cleared his throat then came up with a good idea and started talking.

- Mahtab, dear… well, Papa has showed you how you look like in the mirror, did he?

- Yes.

- And Papa looks the same way as you do, does he?

- Yes, Papa doesn't have a nose and Mahtab doesn't have a nose either.

- That's right. And… what does Mama look like?

- Not like us. – Mahtab said instantly.

- She has a nose and she has rosy colored cheeks. – Erik sighed dreamily.

- Yes, she is beautiful.

- Indeed, my girl. Well, you too are beautiful in my eyes as well, and so in Mama's. What does ugly mean, you ask? Well… listen to what I play.

Erik started playing some very much harmonic accords on the piano. They sounded just pure beauty.

- So nice. – Mahtab sighed dreamily and smiled with her malformed lips.

Suddenly Erik slammed a dissonant accord in the middle of the composition and the girl's face turned into a frown.

- Not right, not usual.

- Not usual, you say? Not right? Then what happens if I play this?

Erik composed a melody of only using unusual and dissonant notes, yet the whole thing sounded so very well- thought and constructed, that, despite the disharmony, it sounded right and beautiful.

- It is great. – Mahtab opened her mouth wide from amazement.

- See, that's what ugly means, dear. Most people find something beautiful only if it meets their liking. That's why you found the first melody good as well. But if there is a trait that people don't like, they will instantly consider it ugly. People are used to people who look like Mama or Flo- not people like us.

- So they think I am ugly because I don't have a nose?

- Exactly. But if you listen to the second melody, you will see that something "ugly" can sound nice as well, if used correctly.

- So I am not ugly?

- Ugliness, my dear child, doesn't come from only the looks. If they knew your pure heart, they would not say such a thing. Don't listen to them, sweetie. Just be a good girl, as you are now. Do what Papa says, and protect yourself by covering your face – and no one will harm you ever again. Papa takes care of you.

- And if I cover my face they won't hit me?

- No. – Erik shook his head and he felt his throat was getting tighter and tighter.

- Papa, I love that you don't have a nose and I don't think you are ugly.

- That is very kind of you, my child. – Erik turned away on the piano benc for a time so Mahtab won't notice him crying.

- Papa, may I tell Mama how did you explain me the ugly thing?

Erik was only able to nod, as he would have burst out in a painful sob if he talked. Mahtab jumped off of the bench and ran to tell the great news to Mama. When she closed the music room's door, she could hear Beethoven's "Pathetique" sonata blasted on full volume.