Chapter XXVII.
The water showed signs of desperate fight for some moments that felt like an eternity to Erik. The stupid iron chain of the boat did not want to release the child's foot as Erik was trying to free her underwater. They were running out of time – Mahtab was clearly unconscious, or even worse – and Erik did not have the hollow reed for the siren trick with him to breathe through, so he just had to hold his breath while trying to free his daughter. He had to remove her boot that was instantly caught by water, never to be found again. Finally the damned chain loosened, and Erik held Mahtab in his arms, quickly working his way up to the surface. He was wheezing and spitting for some moments- water got in his nose hole as well which made his head throb. Mahtab did not cough up any water, so Erik hurriedly swam to the bank of the lake to help her if he still can.
It took long minutes to make Mahtab finally breathe again. It was like burning Hell. Erik was working so hard pumping and shaking water out from the child, and then breathing her artificially until she finally took a deep breath all by herself. It was the sweetest sound on Earth for Erik. As he gently carried the soaked little thing to the house by the lake, undressed her of her wet clothes and bundled her up in some old blankets he left in the coffin, then put her down to sleep in the only kind of bed still left in the house, his mind was racing. He was thinking about the happenings that led to this very moment.
Oh Mahtab, his sweet little Mahtab nearly died.
Because of him.
He wished her dead at the moment of her birth, when he first saw her face – and wished himself dead some hours earlier. But he just could not… he wasn't able to end Mahtab's life in her infancy. He sometimes wondered what if she just fell asleep forever, or he could give her some not even too large amount of laudanum to make her sleep forever and he could forget and bury the inconvenience in their lives and they could move on… but now as he grew to love his daughter with all his heart, he now understood that Mahtab wasn't an inconvenience or a burden to him. Why didn't his poor unhappy mother feel the urge to kill him when he was a baby? He can't kill Mahtab as he loves her. But his mother always loathed him. Did she? Of course, she did, as she never let him kiss her, and he did not ever receive a single kiss on his forehead. How can someone love him if his mother did not like him in the first place? A parent loves a child no matter what. He loves Mahtab no matter what. And can it be that Christine loves him too? All of her actions towards him seemed to be honest… you maybe can't play a role for years and years… what if she feels for him just as he feels for Mahtab? Is that possible? No matter how disgusting you look, I still love you. You are not even disgusting… can it be that Christine does not think him disgusting either? But then why did she say he had to be ashamed of his face? Why? How could she say this? She knew well that it was his weak spot and they never talked about his appearance. It was just something they did not discuss. Christine did not tell him he was handsome, never. She knew that Erik would hate to hear such a lie, and it would not comfort him. She told him "I love you" often. It was like if she just said "You are very ugly – but I love you".
What is love if not this? Acceptance and compassion, with a big amount of tenderness – that was he received from Christine in these years of their marriage. Oh Christine… sweet, little Christine…
As he was looking at the fragile little corpse body of the living proof of their love, now totally undressed, laying in his enormously big coffin, he realized that he will have to put Mahtab in a coffin of her size pretty soon if things go on as they do now. He acted out of being hurt, without thinking things through. His insanity and touchiness keeps dragging him in dangerous and unpleasant situations. Every time he had killed someone, he acted under the moment's influence. That's what he has to change. He had to admit he nearly killed his own daughter, one of the very few people he ever loved and cared for in this miserable life of his. He can't act like a hurt and wounded animal, fleeing from his problems. His logic was totally flawed. He is now a married man with children. He has responsibilities and a family. He can't abandon his wife and other child as he would have done without Mahtab's incident. Where on Earth did he want to travel with her, anyway? Where would he want to hide and bury her alive?
Suddenly, his lament was interrupted by an unpleasant sound. He lifted his head and Mahtab sat up in the coffin, nervously. The alarm bell went off that warned Erik about a visitor coming on the lake. Someone was in the boat, damn it!
-What is it, Papa? – Mahtab asked with worry and on a sleepy tone. – What is that noise?
- Nothing, dear… - He had to compose himself to answer the calmest way possible not to scare the child any further. – I just… have to leave for some minutes.
- No, Papa, don't leave! – She screamed, jumping up in the coffin, and grabbed Erik's wrist.
- Nothing is wrong, my dear child. I just… have to… feed the siren.
- The what? – Her eyes lit up in interest.
- The siren. It is a creature that lives in the lake.
- I go and see it too. – She stated.
- Oh no, no, no, Mahtab. You… have to stay here.
- Why?
Erik nervously scratched his head for some seconds. He just can't let his child to witness the thing he was going to commit. Mahtab should not be trained for murder… not yet. Such an innocent thing should keep her child soul just as long as she is able to – one day she has to learn some things for surviving anyway- but Erik hoped it will be as late as possible. But he had to do it once more, to protect the child from danger. Mahtab, however should stay in the house… what to do… what to do…?
- Because you, my child, will have a much more important thing to do.
- Really? What?
- Look! – Erik walked her in one of the empty corners, gesturing to the wall.
- What to look, Papa?
- I know you can't see it. – Erik leaned closer to the small girl, patting her shoulder on a friendly way, and whispered in her ear just as he was to tell her a secret. - But here is a dragon nest.
- A what?
- A dragon nest, my dear, with many- many eggs.
- Really? – She wondered. – Why is here a dragon nest?
- Because the Mama Dragon lives near, my sweet girl. She just fell ill and can't watch the eggs, so she asked me – but as you know, I have to feed the siren right now.
- Do you want me to watch the eggs? – She offered.
- Yes, Mahtab, that is actually your job.
- But how can I watch something I can't see?
- It is easy! Listen to them, child!
- Of course! I can now hear them!
She could hear some kind of sounds coming from that corner, so she just stood there and listened carefully.
- Just stay there, dear, and look after the baby dragons while Papa is away.
- Will do! – Mahtab assured. – Don't worry, they are in good hands!
As Mahtab was finally occupied, Erik grabbed the reed from the other corner and left the house to finish that horrid task one more time – and never ever again. He will never return to the Opera cellars, so help him God – not with or without Mahtab or any of his children.
Rowing the boat wasn't as easy as she thought. Erik always seemed to do it so gracefully that it looked like to be one of the simplest things on the world. But everything was so easy for Erik – everything but handling his emotions. She took a deep sigh. She did not know if she really will find him here and if she should talk to him at all, but she wasn't able to just sit at home, waiting for miracles to happen. She was a strong and independent woman and she had to take care of issues herself. And no way was she going to find the other path to the torture chamber again – and she wasn't even sure Erik will let her out this time, he seemed to be so very crazy as he left. She just chose the lake. But this boat gave her problems. It never turned the way she wanted it to. She was a bit of afraid she might lose the balance and fall out of the boat, so she slowed down a bit. A good sign that Erik's suitcase was placed under the other seat of the boat, so he is sure somewhere around.
Suddenly she heard a soft and beautiful soprano voice singing a lullaby. She could not find out the direction the sound came from, so she just stopped to look around. She, very carefully, not to make the boat rock, or not to make noise, curled up on her seat, examining the dark and ominous water. She didn't recognize the voice. It wasn't like anyone's voice she knew, but she was certain it wasn't Erik. However talented ventriloquist he was, and she knew he was able to change the tone of his voice to boy soprano, it wasn't the same sound. She remembered about some kind of siren trick of Erik's that happened on that awful night when Count Philippe died. She knew that Count Philippe died in this lake as well. But she had an advantage by knowing about the trick. She was waiting for Erik's robot to appear – she pictured it to be something similar as Cadence was, and this fact made her hate it the more. A dull robot won't outsmart her – she is here to defend herself!
She noticed some kind of pipe getting closer and closer to the boat on the surface, but the singing still could be heard from all directions at once. What a clever way to trick anyone – anyone but her. She put her hand on the opening of the pipe and pressed it tightly shut. Some moments later bubbles appeared on the surface of the lake, and this surprised Christine a lot. Can this thing breathe? Cadence wasn't able to do so, is this a more developed thing, or is this actually ALIVE?
She did not have much time to think, as two hands grabbed the edge of the boat. Christine, suddenly acting out of sheer panic, grabbed the paddle and hit on the hands with full force. The thing instantly let go of the boat. She got scared, but tried to stay strong. She knew it was a match for life and death.
- Come now! I am armed! – Christine threatened. – The next one will reach your stupid mechanical head, you obnoxious murder- machine!
She did not have to wait for too long – the siren's head emerged from the water, and without a split second of hesitation, Christine struck a blow on the head- but the next moment she gasped in horror. Much to her astonishment, she heard a too much familiar cry of pain. The voice couldn't have been mistaken.
- E… Erik?... – She sat back down at her seat, slightly leaning forward to see her husband more clearly. – Erik, is that you?
- Wh… who … else…? – He moaned in pain, as he revealed his hiding place. – Who is… there… with you? Let me see!
- No one. I am all alone… why do you ask?
- Because… ouch… there is NO… possible way that YOU… hit Erik's head… like this.
- I am sorry… please forgive… - wait a little… it means… You are the siren!
- Yes… did you expect… it to be the Daroga, eh?
- Don't dare to be sarcastic! – Christine's voice changed to an accusing one. – You have killed Count Philippe! And you wanted to kill me!
- I did not… mean to kill you!
- Yes you did!
- No! Once I realize it was you I'd have swam out with you- ask the damned Persian cop if I killed him or not!
- Still you wanted to kill a person!
- Only to protect the child. – He took a deep sigh that gave away his regret, but he continued with pressing his hand against his head and hissed in pain.
- That serves you jolly well right, you know! How can you attack helpless people like this?
- Helpless? – Erik laughed bitterly, while tears and water was running down his sunken cheeks. – You? Erik must laugh! May God help all sirens and Phantoms who happen to stumble upon your merciless little hands… my darling…
He wanted to turn away and swim to the end of the boat to pull it out by the chain, but Christine offered him her small and beautiful hand to help him get in the boat.
- Erik, I don't think you should swim with an injury like that… please come in.
- I shall, if you promise not to hit me anywhere again.
- No, of course, Erik, I won't. I am sorry.
Erik climbed in the boat, but he was unable to row that instant. He just sat there, holding his head, and Christine was alarmed to see some bloodstains slowly soaking Erik's cuff and shirt sleeve.
- You are bleeding! – She sat closer worriedly.
- No wonder after Christine broke a paddle on Erik's head. He is pretty sure she just cracked his skull.
- Erik, I am sorry.
- I am too. – He admitted softly. – I wasn't thinking right.
- Oh, Erik… I know I shouldn't have said what I did… but I swear I did not mean it. Please come home… Erik, please…
- I do want to go home. – He agreed, to Christine's surprise. – But please, Christine, answer me ONE question honestly.
- As you wish. – She placed a hand on Erik's shoulder.
- What do you think of my face, Christine?
- Is that important?
- Yes. Because if you find me disgusting, and only stay with me out of pity, and all our marriage is based on a white lie, I don't wish to go on with it.
- How to prove you I love you, Erik? – She asked desperately clinging to Erik's sleeve.
- Tell me what you think of my face. – He repeated.
- I won't lie to you. – She sighed softly, looking Erik in the eye. His cat- eyes glowed at her reflecting pain and interest at the same time. – I won1t say you are handsome, as you are not. – She continued, slowly extending a hand to touch that deformed, wet face. – But I wouldn't have you any other way, Erik. I love you just as I love Mahtab. I don't think you or her disgusting. You two are my family and you can't be replaced by anyone, Erik.
- Not even Chagny? – He inquired.
- Of course, not. Erik, I am not interested in Raoul any more. He means nothing to me but a friend I hardly even meet. I love you, Erik, and only you.
- So if Erik just disappeared from your life… wouldn't Chagny have moved in with you and you have raised Flo as your perfect little son together?
- Erik, what do you think of me?! – She gasped. – Do you think I could cheat on you?
- No, no, Christine, as you were faithful to your poor Erik always. No. I just… hoped that you will find someone more worthy of your love than I am if Erik disappears. No?
- Of course, not! I would cry for you and mourn you the rest of my life. So don't even think of leaving me. You would cause my death, eventually. And I hope that's not what you want.
- Would it really pain you so much? – He asked softly, not believing his ears.
- It would, more than you can imagine.
- Oh Christne… I am sorry… terribly sorry about what I caused you. I thought I was nothing than a nuisance to everyone… including you. That you married me out of honor, because you were true to your word… and out of pity.
- I married you and stayed with you out of love. Please believe me.
- I do now. – He hugged Christine closer to himself and rested her head on his bony shoulder.
They sat like that for a time, in that boat, Erik soaked to the skin, with a bleeding wound on the top of his head, Christine hugged his neck and placed a soft kiss on his face. Erik stroke her shoulder gently, then kissed her forehead with those malformed cold lips.
- Do you really want to come home, Erik…?
- Yes. – He nodded.
- Thank Heaven… and where is Mahtab?
- In the house. Please don't freak out, Christine, but Erik had to… remove her clothes.
- Why? – She narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
- Because they need to dry out. – Erik explained cautiously.
- Did she… fall into the lake?! – She asked.
- Yes. – He nodded penitently. – She was jumping too much in the boat and…
- Is she all right?
- Yes she is! – Erik assured quickly. – Please don't worry, my angel, she is now safe and sound in there.
- Thank God. – She wiped her forehead.
As they entered the house, Mahtab was still in the corner, looking at the wall.
- They don't make noise, Papa. What has happened to the dragons?
- They might be sleeping. – Erik lifted her up. – And you should as well. – He smiled and placed Mahtab back in the coffin and covered her up.
Christine wasn't too happy to see her child in that horrid object, but it was the only comfortable place in the house by the lake, so she did not remark it. She only gestured for Erik to follow her to the Louis – Philippe room and as Erik did, they just stood in the completely empty room for some minutes, then Christine asked.
- What did you want to do here, Erik? Playing that pitiful and sinful Phantom of the Opera game again?
- No. – He shook his head. – I was fed up with that play for a lifetime.
- Then why have you brought Mahtab here?
- It was just for tonight. I wanted to travel somewhere else with her tomorrow morning.
- You mean today?
- Is it already… past midnight? – He took out his pocket watch to see it was already six in the morning. – Oh… it seems Erik was thinking for hours.
- Erik, before we go home and go on with life just as before, you have to promise me something.
- I promise I will never leave you again and never take Mahtab with me.
- Yes, Erik, but you have to promise me something else as well.
- What that may be? – He lifted his throbbing head up with concern.
- You will never ever kill anyone, Erik. Not even to protect the child. It's enough of murder. I accepted your past and never said a hurtful word about it, you would lie if you stated otherwise.
- You really never did. – Erik agreed.
- But your future shall not be about killing people. Not even a single person, Erik, as I will, with a broken heart, be obliged to leave you. But as I would not want to leave you any other way, I would end my life. So if you kill one more person, you literally kill me with it. And don't think I won't find out, Erik. As I will!
He stared blankly in front of himself for some time, then sighed and put his enormously large and skinny hand on Christine's shoulder.
- Erik promises he won't kill anyone ever again. He wants to end this section of his life as well, Christine. Murders are not good for Erik either. Just as this headache he got for the siren trick. – He tapped his head and looked at the blood left on his fingers.
- Erik, I think we should go home now. – Christine said with concern. - We will have to take care of your wound.
- It's nothing… - He chuckled softly, but he finished his sentence with a painful grimace on his face. – But well… it will be better at home, I agree.
Finally Erik could lay down in his own bed, after a lot of happenings – a stressful day, an accident, an injury and a huge promise. But the most important thing was – he could lay down being a hundred percent sure about his wife's love for him.
