Chapter XXX.
- Erik, please… please…- Christine moaned in agony, while her worrying husband tried to wash her forehead with a damp cloth. She did not seem to be feverish, but she sweated a lot.
- It is all right, my love, Erik is here, just relax please. Save your strength, my dear. Just please try to rest. As soon as the storm gets a bit smoother, Erik is going to fetch you the doctor.
Yet Erik was so worked up he wanted to scream, his enchanting voice remained as calm and reassuring as possible, only a bit of higher pitched with fear. He tried to sound as casual as possible not to make his suffering wife to be alarmed. There was silence for a time, Christine was gasping and Erik tried to make her feel as comfortable as it was possible. She closed her eyes as she started to get tired from nearly constant pain. She bit her lower lip and took some shuddering breaths. Suddenly she felt a very strange and unique sensation she experienced before, she knew it… but it can't be true… can it?
- Erik… I think I know what's wrong…- Christine opened her clear blue eyes while her face was turning pale with pain and sudden realization.
- What is it, my dear? – He leaned closer with worry.
- I felt this kind of pain when… only when I… became a mother…
- What? - Erik gasped in horror. – But… that can't be it…
- I think I am going to give birth. – She squeezed Erik's wrist, while she was once more distracted by a terrible cramp.
- But you told Erik you weren't with a child! – He exclaimed in disbelief.
- I… I thought… I wasn't. Really, Erik… believe me…
- You… you can't be serious. – Erik's skull face reflected sheer panic. His jaw dropped and he started trembling so intensely he was afraid he might fall apart.
- I… did not feel it, Erik… like I did before… no nausea… no sleepiness… nothing…
- And what about… your… your… - Erik blushed bright red while trying to talk about things that only were women's business, but he had to be sure. Maybe if he tried to act like a doctor other than an ordinary man, it would be easier.
- I had my menses in every month. – She looked away in shame, but she knew she had to discuss it with him. Does it maybe indicate a problem? She knew she should not have it while being pregnant, and she did not have it with Mahtab or Flo.
- Then it can't be a pregnancy. – Erik stated somewhat calmer. – I have never heard of such a case before.
- But then explain the labour, will you? – She asked nervously.
- It might be some other kind of pain, you only compare it to labour. Please relax.
- I try! – Christine screamed, but she only was able to grab Erik's fingers again. – Erik, we are having a baby!
- Stop this nonsense. – He sighed in frustration. – You are NOT giving birth.
- I know when I am giving birth, not you! You are a man, you never did it! I did twice! I know what it's like! – She sobbed in pain, while clinging to Erik's fingers.
- All right, calm down Christine, you are going to break my fingers.
- Bring some cloths and hot water please… the midwife always did it.
- You… you are too sure about this is a child. You… lied to me!
- I did not!
- You did! There is no way a woman won't notice being with a child, let alone the third one!
- Erik I did not lie to you!
- You did! Erik asked you more times if you were with a child and you said no! Every time you said no!
- Erik I don't know why is that… but…
- Erik exactly KNOWS why that is, Christine! You knew Erik doesn't want another one! You did know it! You kept it in secret so Erik won't notice!
- Erik how can you say such a thing? – She, for some seconds, even forgot about her pain, she got so upset about her husband's sudden accusations.
- You forced Erik into this situation!
- I did not!
- Now look what you've done! We stuck here on Christmas Day with a childbirth you are giving in a snowstorm so I can't get help, just because you didn't tell Erik you were expecting! If I knew about it I could have come up with a plan for a situation like this in advance!
- Erik believe me, I swear to God…
- Don't swear upon a lie, woman! – Erik screamed in her face, losing all of his patience.
- On my father's grave! – She yelled back in desperation, looking her shaking husband in the eye.
Erik did not reply. He was shaking, biting his lips, his teeth were chattering, he was rolling his eyes and Christine could have sworn he was going to end her life in seconds. When Erik was in this state of mind, it was a wiser move not to talk to him any longer if one did not want to get injured or… die. She did not dare to speak any more, but her pain kicked in again. Erik just tried to compose himself to be able to act somewhat normally and headed to the adjacent master bathroom to get things they needed for the process awaiting them. He couldn't leave his wife in this condition and just let her suffer… whether she did or did not lie to him about this child, he has to help it see the sunlight. After they will see what to do next.
Mahtab and Flo were alarmed as Papa did not come out of the bedroom for a long time. They were just left there in the drawing room, unattended in this huge chaos that was going on. Mahtab could sense something wasn't going right. Her Mama gave out strange noises and Papa was mad about something. He yelled at Mama. Flo just lifted his head up and walked closer to his older sister, curiously looking at her.
- Maaa, what happen?
- I don't know. Maybe Mama is in pain.
- Why Mama in pain?
- I don't know. – She patted his brother's shoulder. – But everything will be all right.
- Sure you?
- I am sure, don't worry. Papa is with her. Papa knows everything.
- What we do?
- We should do nothing. We go and guard the house until Mama feels better. Papa is there and he knows everything. He saves Mama. I trust him. – She closed her mismatched little eyes and tried to relax, even though she was afraid as well. But she hoped and knew that Papa will make everything better.
They were marching through the house like small soldiers, with Flo's toy drum, and they went to the nursery to work out a plan if someone might want to get in. At least they were occupied with their own little game and did not try to enter the bedroom, only once, but Mahtab found the door locked, so she found it a better idea not to try it again. Let Papa work in peace!
The childbirth, however complicated and messy it might have seemed to be, took noticeably less time than the two childbirths Christine had had before. In an hour everything was over and Erik was holding a small red, bloody thing in his skeletal hands. It was a baby boy, really. Yet, the couple couldn't be happy about its arrival. The small boy arrived to the world with a bluish pale complexion, eyes shut and without a single note to sing as his first aria in his existence. Silence was never such a burden, it was never so frightening and painful to hear before.
- It didn't cry out. – Christine whispered in shock.
- No, Christine. – Erik lowered his head mournfully. – It is silent.
They said nothing for some seconds. Erik collapsed down on the side of the bed with the small baby in his hands, still holding it firmly. He felt his legs weren't able to support his weight any longer. He suddenly felt regret about his behavior an hour earlier. How could he accuse his dear sweet Christine of lie? How could he state he did not want another child? How could he yell at Christine…? How could he be such a monster, such a heartless thing? He was acting so selfish. His beloved little wife suffered in front of his eyes and the only thing he was concerned about was that he didn't want a third child in his family. Maybe this is God's way of showing him to be careful what he says and wishes for? He did not want this child, the third one- so he doesn't deserve it, and the small angel went back to God where he belonged to. He could not meet him or get to know the small person. He will never find out his habits, he will never hear his voice. He is his only child without a voice. What is your name, little one? What your name should have been if you learned to sing for your parents? Oh why can't you sing just one note? One single note to sing your swan – song, my dear little son…
- Erik… he can't be dead… he can't… ! Do something… please… - Christine's soft sobbing made its way to his ears, but he just couldn't look at Christine. He was ashamed to look in the eyes of that angel.
He slowly rocked the small corpse in his hands and his tears were dripping on the baby boy's forehead. There's no need to hurry. It's all the same now, he has time to rock the nameless little thing as much as he wants to. But…
Suddenly he remembered back to a night with his mother. She was sad and depressed, just as always with him, in his early years, and was sobbing some sentences about him, his birth and the whole questionable point of his existence.
"Why, oh why did I save your miserable life, you… you monster? If I accidentally don't kick you off of the bed, you never cry out…"
Yes, he was silent at birth as well and remained that way for minutes. He was just placed at his mother's feet and she kicked him off of the bed in her fright upon seeing his face for the first time. Only then he cried out after coughing for some moments- maybe he will cry as well!
He turned the baby upside down and slapped his back several times, to Christine's horror.
- Erik! Don't hurt him! Why do you hit a dead baby…? Erik he did not harm anyone… - Christine sobbed and buried her face in her hands not to see what his mad husband is doing. He sure had gone mad, maybe his all life with the tragedies turned him crazy. There is no wonder, to tell the truth. But why does he hit a newborn dead baby…?
But suddenly she heard a noise. A noise that was sweeter than the angels' choir. Sweeter than the sound of any musical instruments or any compositions written by any composer on Earth, dead or alive. At first, it was just some sneezing. Then some coughs and chuckles… then finally a strong cry of a healthy baby. The new family member showed how loud he can cry if he wants to, and his voice filled the whole bedroom. Erik wept along with the child, hugging him close to himself, softly and gently kissing the tiny thing's cheek which started to show some blood coming into it in the end. Christine was laughing and crying audibly at the same time in relief and stress coming on surface.
- I will never ever hush my child… my children… again. I won't ever say "Don't cry!" to them anymore. Please, my son, my sweet little son… cry! Cry as hard as you can! Look, Papa is crying as well…
Erik washed the baby carefully and bundled him in some soft blankets, and gently placed him in Christine's hands.
- Here is our third baby, my dear Christine… and I am the happiest of men on Earth. Please forgive me about what I said earlier… I am happy about our baby… I wouldn't give him for anything.
- I knew you will change your mind once you see him. – Christine smiled. – Do you believe me if I repeat that I did not know he was there?
- I do now.- Erik nodded. – God makes his miracles and he gifted us with a baby for Christmas.
- He is our tiny Christmas present.- Christine laughed. – Maybe we should name him… Noel?
- Noel…? Well, Erik likes that name. It is indeed fitting.
They had the time and opportunity to take a closer look on the boy only then, both calmed and settled down on the bed. Christine was stroking the child's face with her thumb and she looked at Erik.
- I think he resembles you in a way.
- Why do you have to hurt that small thing, Christine, he is not even half an hour old.
- No, I mean it… just look. I think you would look like this if you… if…
- If I had a normal face. – Erik finished the sentence.
Really, he didn't think before that a baby could truly resemble someone, as he thought all babies had the same features, of course, except Mahtab. But for sure, Noel looked nothing like Flo. He was a healthy boy without any deformity, but without doubt, his face was unique. Not as chubby and round as Florian's, Noel had narrower cheekbones, kind of like him, and his nose was narrower and pointier as well. He had no hair, but his eyes were somewhat greenish blue colored, not like Christine's, or any of the children's. That would be Erik's face if he had the fortune to look like anybody else? Suddenly, he tried to imagine Noel in front of him in different ages, that was something that had never reached his mind with his other children, but he had to smile upon picturing a 20 year old man with a quite handsome face and a moustache, with a violin case and a protractor in his hands. If God gives him health and a clear mind, he will be able to see it maybe. Please, God allow Erik only the fortune and joy in his life that he will be able to see his children grow up!
The bedroom door finally opened, and Papa walked into the nursery with a small thing in his hands. The children stopped their playtime together and rushed to Erik's feet with growing interest.
- What this, Papa? – Flo climbed up on Mahtab's bed where Erik sat down with the bundle and carefully showed it to the children. Mahtab stood in front of Papa, as she was tall enough already to see what he was holding in his hands standing up.
- Look, Flo, it's a baby! – She exclaimed happily.
- Ssssh! Be quiet dear, he is asleep.
- Why? – Flo asked.
- You know, my dear, your brother is tired. – Erik smiled. – Entering the world is tiring and painful. – He added absently.
- Is baby ours? – Mahtab inquired.
- Of course, dear, he is your brother. My dear children, let me introduce your younger brother here: Noel Olivier.
- Did God send him? – Mahtab sat up on her bed next to Erik as well.
- Yes, my dear. He surprised us with Noel. He is our Christmas gift.
- Did the Angel of Music create him as well?
- Ummm… kind of. – Erik cleared his throat. Why did the Daroga and Christine had to talk to Mahtab about that stupid tale?
- Where is Mama? – Flo asked, nervously looking at the door behind him, waiting for Christine to get into the children's room as well.
- Mama is tired as well, she is sleeping.
- But she will wake up.
- Yes, of course, my Flo, she will.
They sat together on the edge of the bed, the two children happily examining the newcomer, who just lay there in the proud and touched father's arms, sometimes yawning, and Erik just kept wondering about the family's coming future. Now with three children what it will be like? Will they grow up to be healthy loving siblings just as they were now? What their talents will be? How will they survive and be happy in this world? What new things and inventions will they see? Will he see them as well with them?
Whatever the future was having stored for them, he wasn't afraid of it. He was sure he will be able to solve any problems and be a loving father to his children, and will stay by Christine's side until death shall them part.
