Poor little Mahtab. She couldn't be any more confused. She was not sure of the things she used to know anymore, and she was just pacing around the room in circles. She was trying to figure everything out. Well, if babies are sold, maybe that explains how Flo and Noel got in the household, and maybe the "found on the streets" part was referring to her? As she was wondering, Oliver Twist came to her mind. Yet Oliver wasn't just found on the streets, as he was born in a workhouse, but maybe other children, who were born somewhere else than a workhouse, are maybe just found on the streets. She walked closer to Mama's vanity table and stared into the mirror for a few minutes. She felt like this can't go on like this for much more time, as too many questions and thoughts were bothering her. She decided to ask Papa, no matter if she gets scolded for listening. She had to find out the truth.
Not even the happy sounds of Noel driving around his toy car in the garden made Mahtab forget about her problems, however she loved to join to the boys playing outside other times. The boys were playing happily, Noel was racing through the garden path, and Flo was just laughing from the top of his lungs, trying to catch Noel's car, running after it.
-In the name of law, I said "stop"! I am a policeman and you will be under a rest!
- You can't just sit under a rest sign forever. – Noel stopped his car curiously and exclaimed with confusion.
- I don't get it either, but Tonton Mohammed said you will get under a rest if you do something bad.
- Wow. It must be boring. – Noel pouted.
- Let me drive that car a bit please. – Flo asked. – I will take care.
- If you promise you don't make me sit under a rest, you can. – He jumped out, letting his brother in.
With a bit of uncomfortable lip- biting, Mahtab opened the study's door, where she hoped to find her father. Erik had the habit of letting the boys out to play in the garden if he wanted to have some alone time, and he usually sent Mahtab to practice piano or violin. So if the boys are outside, Papa should be there in his study. She did not have to be disappointed, as Erik was sitting at his desk, reading something. Papa…? – She called out.
- Mahtab, I am busy, go and play with the boys, will you?
- I have to talk to you now. – She replied with determination.
- What is wrong, child? – Erik put down the book and turned to Mahtab with worry. – Are you feeling ill?
- No. – She walked closer. – But I have to talk to you.
- All right. – He nodded. – Come here, take a seat and tell me what is wrong.
Mahtab sat down to the chair next to Erik's desk, so she was able to make eye contact. That small chair was there especially for her, Erik put it there when Mahtab was yet a toddler, because he sat the girl there if he was working and wanted to keep an eye at the girl. He would occasionally talk to her to make her entertained, so Mahtab loved to be there.
She loved Erik's study. The smell of books, the many interesting sheet music he was writing, smell of rosin he was keeping in there, the chess table, the different colored inks- black, blue and red, the blueprints and designs organized in stacks, and, to tell the truth, the box of liquored candy he kept in one of the drawers, and he would treat her with one or two sometimes, did fill her with pleasant feelings, and unleashed her imagination. And, even more importantly, this room always reminded her of Papa. He spent much time here, and the room had a special atmosphere to her because of him. Other than the music room, this was her favorite place in the house.
She somewhat calmed down when she sat down in front of Erik, and was now able to think her speech logically.
- Papa… you told me you asked God to give me and the boys to you.
- Yes. – Erik nodded.
- And do you have to pay to God for the children? How much did I cost?
- What…? No. – Erik gasped.
- But Mama said babies can be bought, or they are found on the streets.
- I am pretty sure your mother had said nothing of that sort, Mahtab, you must have terribly misunderstood something. Tell me the whole context of the talking, then I might be able to explain.
- I asked her if you plan to have a new family member.
- New family member? Who?
- A baby.
- What on Earth did give you this impression? No, Mahtab, I am satisfied with the number of children I currently have.
- Then why did you do that thing?
- What thing, Mahtab? – Erik leaned closer suspiciously.
- Papa, please promise me I won't be punished if I tell you something.
- I promise. – Erik nodded, but wasn't too much pleased.
- The other night I heard you and Mama. You were making strange sounds. You cried out and I thought you were in pain.
Erik gasped and lifted his fist in front of his mouth in shock.
- What is wrong, Papa? Were you really in pain?
- Mahtab it is not a nice thing to listen, you should have slept.
- I know, and I am sorry. – She lowered her head. – But I could not sleep, I was sad and afraid.
- And what exactly did you hear?
- You said it was the best lovemaking ever. And I asked Sophie what lovemaking is.
- And what did she say? – Erik buried his face in his hands.
- She said that lovemaking has to do something with babies, but to be honest, I am so confused now that I don't know anymore.
- Well, Mahtab… I am going to tell you something. But I warn you not to tell this to your brothers, as they are yet too young for this issue. You are a bit older, and I guess, you may know about it now… well, as you are listening… - He sighed and wiped his forehead with his handkerchief, trying to collect his thoughts. – What you have heard the other night… was a duet.
- Duet?
- Yes, between your Mama and I.
- Do you sing it a lot?
- We used to sing it more when I was a bit younger, but sometimes we still want to practice it.
- And this is lovemaking?
- Yes. Lovemaking is an act of showing your love to the one you love the most on Earth: in my case it is my wife.
- So it is kissing?
- Kind of. You show them how much and deeply you love them and it… well… causes some kind of noise, which you heard.
- And that is how babies are born?
- Yes. After you show you love, sometimes a baby arrives in the family. But not always. You know, God sees how much a husband and a wife do love each other, because they showed love on that special way, and he can see the baby will have a happy home with those parents who love each other so dearly. And if the parents keep praying enough, God will gift them with a baby.
- So it can happen that you will have a baby now?
- It is unlikely, but it always has some chances when two people sing this duet.
- And how much time do you have to make love to have a baby from God?
- It depends. Some Papas and Mamas receive a baby often, such as Mama and me. But other couples have to work hard to get a tiny miracle. They are trying for years on and on, and it also does happen sadly, that no matter how much a couple is praying, they never have a baby.
- Why?
- It is because either the Mama or the Papa has an illness which doesn't allow them to have a child on their own, but they still have the option to adopt a child.
- Like how Mr. Brownlow adopted Oliver?
- Exactly. He accepted Oliver as his own child, even though they weren't related to each other. And even Tonton Raoul did adopt Sophie. She is not his own daughter, but he raises her just as she was.
- And now they got small Philippe.
- Exactly, because they were praying enough for a son. They received baby Philippe as a gift. So, to reply your original question, no, babies aren't sold, nor can you just find them on the streets. Sometimes it does happen if you find an orphan, but then they are adopted. You are not adopted. Mama and I worked hard and prayed a lot to have you and your little brothers in our lives.
Erik reached out to pet Mahtab's hair, and smiled at the girl, who sent a huge grin in return. She leaned closer and received a kiss on that skull forehead by the malformed lips of her father. Erik did not give a second thought about kissing his child, and he saw nothing wrong with her face. He learned to love her just as she was, contrary the fact he could neer imagine to look at this child without any disgust when she was born.
- But then what can be bought with money that Mama was referring to? – Mahtab wondered out loud, but in the next moment, they heard happy screams from the garden coming through the open window.
- Aww, look how cute! – Flo exclaimed
- Let me pet it! – Noel begged.
- Of course, you may pet her. – Christine's cheerful voice could be heard.
- What the Hell is happening? - Erik jumped up cautiously and stormed out of the study, arriving at the bottom of the hallway staircase with a jump, contrary to his age.
Though Erik was in hurry, the mathematical disadvantage, but physical advantage between Mahtab's and his age gave her the opportunity to still get out earlier than Erik, so the father did not have to see the happenings by his own eyes to know what it was. Mahtab's excited cries gave away the secret.
- Look, Papa, a puppy! A cute puppy it is! Come and watch it!
- Puppy? – Erik wheezed at the front door, bracing the door frame with one hand.
- Yes, we have a new family member. – Christine smiled widely, placing the small animal down in the bright green grass.
- What…? Why? – Erik gasped, still a bit from running, but more from surprise.
- The children missed a dog. – Christine explained, pointing at the lap- dog she just got.
- A dog. – Erik retorted. – But not a shoe- cleaner. – He groaned, then turned around to get back to the house.
The children seemed not to notice Erik's changed mood, they were too happy to have the sand- colored furry thing who had a pink ribbon in her neck.
- Look what a tail she has!
- Aww, so sweet.
- Can you sing?
- Can you fetch a ball?
As Christine saw the younger ones were friendly to the new part of the family, and the dog liked the kids as well, she decided to go after Erik and find out what his problem might be.
She found him in the music room, petting the back of M. LeChat, who was laying on the top of the piano.
- Erik, what is wrong? – She asked.
- Nothing. – Erik replied drily.
- I know something is wrong, I know you. – She went on stubbornly.
- More things are wrong, let's just not talk about it.
- Erik, please tell me what bothers you.
- Does it matter at all? – He waved in the air with irritation.
- It does, definitely.- She gasped with horror. – Why do you ask that?
- Because you act without asking me yet again.
- It was a sudden idea. But Erik, I thought you will like to have a new dog.
- Well, what does it matter if I do or don't? You have already decided for me. Well, now I shall decide for you.
- What?
- I will think up something you would not like to have and force you into a situation to have it anyway.
- Erik, why don't you want a dog? You loved Shadow.
- Must I always reason it? – He barked. – But as I said, it doesn't matter anymore. You made the decision, and I will have to get used to it. The children love it, so I have no word.
- I am sorry Erik. I thought you won't mind it…
- I do. But I will get used to it eventually. Give me time. A lot of time. And I tell you in advance: I will not cross a straw about that thing. It is yours, not mine. If it does its business somewhere, you will mop it up, you will feed it, or the kids, I don't give a damn.
- All right. – Chrstine replied softly. – It just hurts me that you aren't able to be happy about your children's happiness.
- Oh, so now I have to be happy about it, not to hurt your feelings.
- You said earlier that the thing making me happy makes you happy too, no matter what it is. Seems like you weren't totally honest. – Christine turned around and left the music room half angrily and half sadly. As she reached the bottom of the stairs to go back in the garden to rejoin her children, she could hear Erik's passionate piano playing coming from the music room.
Erik loathed that dog. That small lap- dog, who was either on Christine's lap, sticking out its rosy colored tongue at everyone else who had the misfortune to look at it, giving out annoying gasping noises, or was chasing one of the children in the garden or hall. How did Erik wish to see it with such a stuck out tongue- hanging down from a goddamned tree! But sadly, he could not do it – the kids and Christine adored that fur ball too much. They loved it just as much as he did hate it. It had such an annoying voice it gave him goosebumps every time he heard it. And the worst thing was that the little snot sure knew he hated it, as it was barking and growling at him whenever he showed up. The small feather duster. And to make matters worse, it received such a stupid name, he had the urge to throw up by hearing it. Well, sure, Shadow wasn't a creative name either, but it sounded hundred times better than "Princess Fluff."
Yes exactly that her name was. Princess Fluff. Ridiculous. He pouted each time it was said. He did not know which of the family members came up with that horrendously sickening name, but he had to admit, in a way, it fit the thing, it was just as sickeningly stupidly cute as its name. That ribbon was in its neck always, which fact would have made it easier to hang it, if he had the courage to do so.
Even though he did not reason it, he felt he had every right to hate it. Other than the aforementioned reasons, he had one huge problem with it:
It constantly reminded him of Bisous.
Bisous was his mother's spoiled, overweight and annoying lap- dog, exactly the same breed and look as Princess Fluff. That damned stupid ribbon wasn't missing either, they could have passed as twins. Erik hated Bisous with passion. It was because Mother loved that thing- but not him. He never received a single kiss from Mother, yet Bisous was constantly getting them, without even asking. Erik did ask for them- and he only received his mask thrown at him, accompanied by desperate sobs, and his mother hurrying out of the room. That fur ball was loved a lot more by her than him. Subconsciously he linked the two dogs and he sent his hatred towards the thing which received love other than him – both from Mother, and now, Christine.
He was so afraid his jealousy will make him do that same horrible act yet again… he was fighting his urges in his mind, just as he could… but seeing Christine giving kisses to that disgusting little mop… he felt he was going to lose his mind and temper…
And if things go bad, no one can stop Erik… not even himself!
Erik started to be afraid of himself. His own thoughts. Bits of his past started to flash in front of his eyes, random, as he saw that horrid little thing. He wished it disappeared so his memories would not haunt him, but the love it received from the rest of his family made it impossible. They would miss it… cry about it…
How did mother cry… oh those tears… those sobs… they still were ringing in his ears…
Christine noticed something bothered Erik. He was rather grumpy, introvert and he talked in one- word sentences, especially if the dog was around too. She was trying to make the two of them make peace with each other, but this only resulted in a nasty bite on Erik's right index finger, which annoyed him even more. She thought, it was wiser not to bother them any more about it – they will make peace within time.
Yet Erik's state of mind got worse and worse in the coming weeks. He was tossing and turning a lot in his sleep, whimpering some inaudible words of fear, indicating he was tortured by nightmares. Suddenly he jolted up right in sitting position, gasping for air, bathing in his sweat.
- Erik, what's the matter? – Christine moved closer, trying to comfort him.
- Nothing. – He barked. – Maybe I ate too much for dinner. – He kicked off the covers and climbed out of bed.
- Where are you going? – She asked with worry. Seeing Erik in this state really gave her fright.
- I need to get some fresh air.
- Are you feeling ill?
- No, no, leave me alone.
He disappeared through the bedroom door, towards the hall. She got up from bed as well, needing to check on Erik, if he was all right. She heard a terrified little scream, on Erik's higher pitched voice, which he only used when he was feeling insecure. She knew it a lot, Erik woke up with this scream night by night in the first year of their marriage. She hurriedly put on her slippers and ran out to the hall. Erik was standing at the first step, walking up on the stairs backing out, while Princess Fluff was growling at him, threateningly following him upper and upper. Erik was terrified, begging to the dog to go and leave him.
- Stay… I said stay… go to Hell… leave me…
- Erik, don't be afraid! – She called out. – Fluff is going after you because you are afraid of her. She only wants to play.
- Erik isn't afraid of this damned thing… just take it away from him, Christine, I beg you to take it away…
Christine picked the small dog up in her arms, soothingly stroking the puppy's ear, and hushing it. Erik fled to the music room. Christine put down the dog on the floor and walked upstairs to the music room to investigate the issue a bit further. Why does Erik act so strange?
- Erik.
- No! Don't bring it in! – Erik jumped up from the sofa, protectively holding his hands in front of him.
- Erik, Fluff is downstairs. May I come in?
- If you must…. – Erik sighed, sitting back down, burying his face in his hands.
Christine walked inside, closing the door so that the dog can't get in the room and sat down next to Erik. She put a comforting hand on the man's back, and rubbed it, noticing only then that he was shaking from crying.
- God, Erik, what is wrong?
- I can't… tell. – He sobbed.
- Are you so much afraid of a small dog, Erik, dear?
- I am … not afraid … of it…
- You act like that.
- I am afraid… of… something else.
- What else? – She stroke Erik's few locks of soft hair, which was all poofed up as he just got up from bed.
- Erik. – He admitted brokenly.
- Why are you afraid of… yourself?
- I can't tell it. – He shook his head.
- You may tell me everything, Erik, which is why we are married. I support you.
- You will… hate Erik… if he tells you… - Erik covered his face with his hands, peeking through his long fingers, just as a scared child.
- How can you say such a thing? I would never hate you. – She patted his trembling back reassuringly. – No matter what it is, Erik, tell me. Please.
- Promise Erik you will not leave him if you find out the truth. – He took her hand in his shaky grip, looking her in the eye with a begging expression.
- I promise, Erik. – She kissed his forehead to ease his pain.
The man took a few deep breaths to calm himself a bit, to be able to start his confession.
- Christine, I am… as I said… not afraid of the dog… but Erik. Erik can't be stopped by anyone… not even himself… if he goes crazy… and that is what I am afraid of. That I am going to turn… violent. – He paused, looking at Christine, but as she did not interrupt him, he continued. – This dog… brings me back bad memories. Memories I had hoped to be buried deep down in my mind… but as this thing is here, day by day, the flashbacks return… to torture me.
- What kind of memories?
- Mother… used to have a dog… exactly as Fluff… same breed… same color… same voice. – He swallowed. – Bisous. – He pouted as he pronounced that name. – She was Mother's… replacement… for a child… as she could not own a normal child… the only creature she had… was Erik. And so… Bisous got the love… and affection… that Erik should have gotten… being so fortunate to be born… with a face a mother could have loved.
- Oh God… - Christine sighed. – So… Fluff reminds you of her?
- Yes. – He nodded. – And jealousy… you see… never does good to Erik… you remember what happened to the Viscount… ? Nearly?
- Erik, you want to tell me that you… have you…?
- Yes. – He cried out, clinging to Christine's arm desperately. – Yes, Christine… I… I… killed it. It was the first… voluntary murder… Erik had committed. But… the worst thing… isn't the murder itself…
- Why? – She asked with tearful eyes. – What could be worse?
- That… E-Erik does… not… remember it. – He stuttered.- It… happened… in… a state of mind… he can't recall… everything has happened… too fast. I… I… only remember… Mother's screams… and sobs… and me looking down… and seeing… the thing with a broken neck…. And the worst thing… is I did not… really mean to. It just happened. That is… what I am terribly afraid of, Christine. Turning like that… again.
- Oh, Erik… this is horrible…
- I know. – He nodded. – That is the reason… I ran away from home. I… I… was afraid… I would… or could… m-m-murder… my own M-m-mother as well… I-I-I… cause… t-t-t-trouble.
Christine hugged Erik close to herself, placing his head on her breast, gently stroking his ear to comfort him. Erik loved his ears to be caressed, so he closed his eyes and tried his best to enjoy the moment.
- Fear not, Erik dear. Christine is going to solve this problem. Sssssh… - She reassured him.
- Do you… still love… Erik…?
- I do. – She said. – And always will.
Even though she found Erik's act in the past a terrible sin, and she definitely did not like what she had to hear, she did not think it is a reason for divorce. Erik was a tortured, emotionally unstable and unloved child, who suddenly got fed up with the cruelty of his mother and took revenge on the creature he thought, was to be blamed for everything. He imagined if the scapegoat disappears, everything will be fine. Childish, but understandable act from a desperate child who lacked his mother's love and was able to kill to get it.
She knew though, that this situation can't go on like this, so she had to find a solution.
Sophie's Birthday arrived. All of the family was invited to the de Chagny's home, and Erik was in hurry to get ready. He found it strange that the small disgusting mop wasn't running around his legs, barking at him, but to be honest, he was only happy about it. He did not find it important to search for it. Thankfully, maybe it disappeared.
He arrived to the hall for the sounds of Noel whining about the bow-tie Christine wanted to put on him.
- Mama, I don't want to!
- But you will be so sweet, look at Flo! Don't you want to be such a good- looking little boy?
- Isn't it all the same how I get dressed for a blind girl's Birthday? She cannot see me anyway, I could just as easily go in my underwear.
- Noel! – Christine gasped in indignation. – You will let me put on this bow-tie on you right now, or else Papa will wash your mouth out with soap. What a thought, dear God!
- Sorry, but I hate ties. – Noel explained.
- I used to hate them too. – Erik patted the boy's head as he stepped into the room. – But I learned how good they look, and that a gentleman always wears his tie right. Don't worry, you will look fantastic.
Noel nodded and let the annoying piece of clothing to be put on him, mostly for the reason to impress Papa. He promised that he will teach him how to juggle three balls at once if he behaves.
As they arrived to the de Chagny house, Yvette hurried to greet them happily. Flo bowed in front of Sophie, kissed her cheek and said
- Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman on Earth. – then kissed her hand, as a real courting man.
- Happy Birthday my sister. – Mahtab hugged her tight.
- Happy Birthday Sophie! – Noel ran to her happily and patted her shoulder. – I wanted to look good for you so I let my parents forcing a tie on me. – He added proudly.
- We brought you a gift! – Mahtab went on.
- Really? – Sophie smiled. – It is a big enough gift you are here.
- Then we brought this huge box here for nothing Papa? – Noel poked Erik's side. – So we are going to keep it?
- No, Noel, we are going to give it to Sophie.
- We wish you a Happy Birthday and a lot more to come in health and happiness, my dear. – Christine carried the box to Sophie and put it down in front of her.
- Thank you. – She giggle. – May I open it, Papa? – She turned to Raoul, who she knew was standing behind her back.
- Of course, my sweet girl. Open it, let's see what is it? – Raoul ndded, still being extremely touched about Sophie always calling him "Papa".
As the girl opened the box, she instantly received a few licks on her face from the inhabitant. She hugged the furry thing in delight, exclaiming happily:
- Look, Papa! A dog!
- Yes dear, it is your own dog. – Raoul nodded with a huge smile.
What on Earth? Erik was speechless from astonishment. Princess Fluff was the gift. As he saw Sophie and the disgusting little rat getting so close to each other, he realized that the dog had a much better place here. They adored each other with the child, it was definitely a love at first sight. The children spent an awesome afternoon together with Fluff, and it was such a great feeling to leave the pest there behind with its new owner.
When they arrived back home, and the parents were left in peace, Erik hugged Christine, kissed her and said:
- Thank you dear, for your act. I can't word how much it means to me.
- I talked to Raoul and Yvette, and all of us agreed that Sophie would need a pet to take care of. – She smiled warmly.
- Truer words were never spoken, my dear. – Erik sighed in relief. – I love you.
- I love you too, my husband. No matter what, I always love you.
