Christine heard the engine of Erik's car being ignited. She desperately ran to the direction where she heard the car, but it was too fast for her. It could be seen for some moments, but it disappeared too fast from her view, and no matter how quickly she ran, she lost it. She wheezed and shook with fear and exhaustion after a long chase. Erik drove way too fast compared to his usual tempo. It meant nothing good. He was usually a careful driver, surprisingly. He never drove too fast and paid attention not to be in an accident. Now though, being all worked up, he did not give a damn about speed.
Christine stood on the road, helplessly stretching out her arms towards the empty spot in front of her. She did not give up though. She ran back home where the children were occupying themselves, knowing nothing of the happenings. Thankfully they did not notice the scene as Mahtab and Flo were playing music and Noel was just lying on his bed with his indigestion caused by the vodka and cigar. She tried to compose herself enough to ask Mahtab to take care of Belle while she was away.
- Why, where is Papa?
- He had to go somewhere and I have to go to rehearsal. – She lied.
- I thought you don't perform this week. – Mahtab tilted her head to the side.
- I am an understudy, dear, my co- worker got sick.
- How do you know? – Mahtab inquired.
- The Opera informed me. – She looked at her with annoyance. She did not like Mahtab's questioning, she acted like her father when he was being jealous.
- We did not have mail today. I did not carry in anything. – The teen went on.
- Oh, Mahtab, just do what you were asked, will you?
- Yes, Mama. – She nodded, but sent a suspicious glance towards Christine.
Something wasn't all right and she knew it from her mother's reactions and state of mind. She was nervous. Papa did not have to go anywhere, really since he stopped working, and everyone knew it. Mahtab did not like it when her mother thought she was stupid just because she was young. She wasn't stupid indeed, and could read behind the words and acts. Something had happened. She was determined to find it out, but she had to look after Bell, who was indeed too small to be left alone, so the girl just went to see the baby. Her parents hopefully will work things out.
Erik suddenly felt something strange as he drove. He could not say he was all right even when he climbed in, as he felt dizzy and heard strange sounds in his ear, but he guessed it was only because of the extreme stress he was just going through. But he now felt even stranger things. His fingers on his left hand started to move involuntarily. They opened and closed following some strange rhythmical pattern. He could not control it and it annoyed him to no end. Moreover, some strange bad feeling took him over. He felt as he was getting distant from his own body. What the Hell is happening? Nervously, collecting his remaining strength and composing himself, he drove off of the road and stopped, waiting for this strange feeling to stop. This act of his was his luck, as the sensation did not stop. It got worse. He made some involuntary chewing movements and swallowed some repeatedly. He could not control any of his actions any more. He was afraid he might die instantly and closed his eyes, trying to take some deep breaths and remembered Christine's kind face in front of him. He wished to die with her memory at least. Christine…
Poor Christine was running towards the stopped car. She was already worn out, but extremely alarmed as she saw Erik stopped. Why did he do it? He wasn't that far away from home yet, and he sure did not want her to follow him. Or did he change his mind…? He stopped so she can approach him? Or was he ill? She arrived next to the car, but saw nothing. Erik was missing. Absolutely not in the car, did not sit on the seat. Why did he leave and where…? Did he just… have to relieve himself suddenly or something like that? Where was he?
- Erik! – She called out nervously.
No answer.
- Erik, please talk to me… don't play this trick… Erik…?
Suddenly she heard something.
A soft moan came from further among the bushes near the road. She hurried in that direction where she finally noticed Erik. He did not seem to be well. He was on the ground, kicking and shaking rapidly, sometimes giving out wheezing and moaning noises. His mask slipped off and was further from him, as if he arrived to the ground by falling out of the car and rolled down there. His uncovered face was frightening because his face turned bluish white instead of yellow as usual, his mouth bled, and he seemed to be unconscious. His eyes were open, but he did not look at Christine, his mind was off. He looked somewhere to the distance above Christine's shoulder as she kneld down next to him. She cautiously leaned closer, trying to push him down so the muscle spasms might reduce, but he was extremely hard to hold. His head was moving as well and he repeatedly hit his head to the ground.
- Erik, stop… can you hear me…? – She called out.
As he did not stop it, and his mouth was already bleeding, Christine tried to push his head down as well and what to put in his mouth to keep it open when she heard a crack. Alarmed, she looked down. Erik's wrist wasn't in its natural position any more as she was trying too hard to force it down. Erik's spasms finally reduced, then he slowly stopped moving, his eyes closed, and he started snoring as if he was asleep. What? Christine was looking at him in horror. Why did he fall asleep suddenly? What was this? Is he ill? Will he die…? What should she do to him?
She was scared and clueless. She did not know how to drive the car, Erik was seemingly in a deep sleep, and otherwise ill, so she did not dare to leave him there alone until she calls for help, but even if she could wake him up somehow, he sure wasn't in a good enough condition to drive, especially that something had happened to his wrist. She can't even run back to the house, because they were about halfway between the house and downtown. Either way she can't win. She was uncomfortably stroking Erik's hair and started crying. Now will he die here because she is unable to help him? How can she be so useless? As Erik was drooling in his sleep, she took a handkerchief and started wiping his mouth from blood and saliva. She softly started singing for him, knowing literally nothing better.
She stroke his hair and softly hummed to him, some old Swedish songs she learned from her father. At least, if Erik hears her, he might feel better.
Some minutes later, which seemed like decades, Erik's golden eyes finally opened again. He was looking at her as if he did not even recognize her for some moments, then he sighed deeply and finally he softly spoke.
- What… what has… happened?
- Erik! – She sobbed with relief.
- Chris… tine? – He blinked some, then moaned in pain.
- What's wrong dear? – Christine rubbed Erik's shoulder sympathetically.
- Erik's… head… his … wrist… his… everything…
- What is wrong with them, hm?
- Huuurts. – He whined.
- Don't worry, dear. – She hurried to calm him down. – We are going to the doctors. Can you get up?
- Up? - He repeated as if he wasn't sure where he was.
- Yes, dear, you are on the ground. Get up please.
- I… try. – He staggered to his feet slowly, but needed Christine's help.
He felt a strange flavor in his mouth, and he was utterly disoriented. He did not know where he was and what had happened. Why did he get here? Why was he feeling so weak and sleepy…?
- You aren't able to drive. Please lean against me, we go home. – She rubbed his back.
- Yes. – He nodded exhaustedly. He wasn't really able to function normally. He wanted only one thing: get to bed as soon as possible.
Thankfully he forgot everything that happened before his strange sickness. He just allowed her to help him home and in bed.
- I am going to fetch the doctor for you dear… are you sure you are well enough to stay alone for a few minutes?
- Erik wants… to rest…
- All right dear. – She smiled at him and worriedly ran out of the room to go downtown for the doctor.
Erik slowly started to regain his sanity and feel better. He rested a bit and slipped into a dreamless sleep, and when he opened his eyes again, he felt much better. Only his wrist bothered him. He still had no clue about what happened. He just found it a better idea not to jump up from bed as something serious might have happened to him. He decided to rest and take it easy for the rest of the day.
Finally Christine arrived back with the doctor, who examined Erik and tried his best to know more about what had happened. Erik briefly told him how it started as he started to remember, and Christine also told him what she saw and did. Bonsanté scratched his head, paused a bit, then said:
- The things both of you told me indicates Erik had a seizure.
- A what? – Christine asked back nervously. The word wasn't familiar to her. She had seen many ill and old people, Mama and later Papa Daaé, Mama Valerius, and Prof. Valerius, but none of them had a similar illness and she never heard this word.
- Epilepsy? – Erik sighed. – Just what I needed on top of everything.
Erik had considerable amount of medical knowledge, so he knew what the doctor was referring to. He read books and articles about it, and knew what to expect if the diagnose was right. Maybe it won't be the more serious case, and will be able to go on with his life as he did before… hopefully…?
- It is not sure yet that it is epilepsy. – Bonsanté replied. – Maybe it was a non-epileptic seizure which may occur once or twice in life. Did you have similar seizures in your childhood?
- I don't remember. – He admitted.
- Well, if it happens more than twice, then maybe we can be closer to the solution, but we should actually just try to avoid the seizures. Don't worry, they are not too dangerous if they happen in a safe environment, they get better on their own. Christine, if Erik has another one, just make sure he won't fall, and put something soft under his head. It may be a towel, a pillow or a jacket. Don't restrain him as you did now – you successfully broke his wrist trying to help him.
- Oh Erik, I am sorry… - She whispered.
- No worries, Christine, it was not your fault. – Erik calmed her.
- You could not know you don't do it right. – The doctor added. – It can be cured.
- It is not my first broken bone. – Erik laughed out a bit bitterly while the doctor took care of his wrist. – Erik is used to them.
- What should we do to avoid seizures, doctor? – Christine inquired nervously.
- Well, we know little about this illness yet, but there are some things that can trigger a seizure. These things are stress, lack of sleep, sudden hard light and alcohol mostly.
- Am I not allowed to drink? – Erik sighed.
- If it causes seizures than no, unless you wish to have one. You have to find it out if you get sick after drinking. If you do, don't drink. I suggest you to rest a lot in these days. No sudden outrages, no alcohol, and regular eating and sleeping. Drink a lot, as dehydration makes your system weaker. If you have another seizure, let me know.
- Will do. – Erik nodded. – May I get up now?
- Depends. Do you want to work? – The doctor asked.
- No. Just nature calls to me. – He replied.
- Oh then absolutely yes. You don't need to stay in bed, only if you feel weak.
As Erik left to go to the bathroom, the doctor looked around and softly said:
- Christine, now that we are alone, I can tell you that Erik will need more help from now. And less stress. These seizures are tiring you see, and if he gets them regularly, he physically won't be able to work in the house with the children as he did before.
- How often are these seizures…? It was frightening.
- It looks more serious than it is. – Bonsanté nodded. – But he needs sleep after each of them and he gets weak and disoriented, sometimes alarmed. I can't tell you how frequent these may happen. Some patients might have more of them daily, but if Erik is lucky enough he might just have one or two in a year. This is a very wide spectrum. Everything is possible in between. – He nodded and scratched his head. – Now, he will need your help more than he did before. I just wanted to inform you as I know he would rather burn in Hell than ask for help. You might reconsider some things in your life.
The door opened and Erik returned, looking at the doctor and Christine curiously.
- Well, are you finished with talking about me behind my back?
- We are. – The doctor replied smiling at Erik's usual sarcasm.
- Then would you two give me some privacy as I would like to change into a clean outfit? Oh, God I have to change the sheets too. – He murmured as he saw the dirt from his clothes made the bed messy.
- Erik, I will do it. – Christine offered. – Please just change your clothes. I will wait outside. – She added.
- If you are sure. – Erik shrugged.
The doctor nodded as they walked out of the room.
- Just remember, help him in as many things as you can, and don't let him overstrain himself.
The doctor left, and Christine walked to the children's room which was in a total chaos just as usual. Erik had to tidy it for the boys, as Mahtab always did her part. Her part of the room was in perfect condition, but the boys made a huge mess. Toys and clothes all over the floor, and some sheets of paper with sheet music and drawings. Erik tried to discipline them for it and order them to tidy up, but Christine always protected them from him. They are just children, let them play and enjoy life! But now she had to admit the children needed to learn how to clean up after themselves. They are 8 and 10 years old, big enough to help. They were babied and spoiled too much by her. Time to be a bit stricter. Erik never wanted bad to them, he just always wanted to make boundaries and teach them of their responsibilities. He wasn't too strict.
- Mahtab dear, what are you doing? – She asked smiling when she noticed the oldest child with the youngest one on Mahtab's bed.
- Just holding Belle.
- That is kind of you, but you don't have to hold her constantly.
- She is cute, I love to hold her.
Christine stroke the girl1s hair and smiled at her lovingly.
- Is Papa ill? – Mahtab asked anxiously.
- He is better now. He is not ill, just he got sick. He needs to rest some.
- That is good to hear. – She sighed in relief, then kissed the baby. – Do you hear, Papa is better. We shall not worry.
- Where are your brothers? – Christine smiled through her tears of being touched by Mahtab's love for her little sister.
- They must be here somewhere. – She shrugged. – They don't want to help me clean up.
- We are going to change this. – Christine smiled, then leaned out of the door. -Flo! Noel! – She called out.
- Yes Mama? – The boys ran to her, waiting for chocolate bonbons or hugs and kisses as Mama would mostly call them for that reason. This, however wasn't the case right now.
- Have you seen your room lately? – She asked, placing her hands on her hip.
- Yes… - Noel replied, being clueless about what this might mean.
- And how does it look to you? – Christine went on.
- Not good. – Flo admitted. – Messy.
- It is. – Christine nodded. – And do you see the other parts of the house in such a mess?
- No. – They shook their heads.
- And why don't you clean your room? – Christine asked, displeased.
- Because Papa will do eventually. – Noel replied. – There is no need to.
- Well, from now, young men, - Christine's tone turned to be threatening and strict at this point, - you will have to tidy your room by yourselves as Papa isn't your servant, and neither is any other part of the family! Now you go and clean it. I will come back in an hour and if it isn't pristine clean by then, I am going to punish you both!
- But Mama, my stomach still hurts… - Noel whined, while Flo obediently walked in to collect his sheet music from the ground.
- Working makes you feel better. – Christine pointed at the open door, and sent a strict glance at Noel. – Or you might just argue with me. Your choice. But if you do, I will punish you stricter than Papa ever did.
This last sentence worried Noel a lot. Mama never talked to him in this manner before! He hurried inside to collect his toys and put them in the chest before Mama punishes him too – Papa's punishment was certainly enough for today! Noel and Flo were tidying the room hardworking, putting away each of the small toys and papers while Mahtab was cradling Belle in her arms, sitting on her bed.
Erik was speechless when he saw the scene taking place between the boys and Christine. As his wife walked into the bedroom to change the sheets, Erik approached her from behind and called out. He did not really want to have another fight, but he needed to clear things up.
- Christine, dear…
- Yes? Do you wish to lay down? – She looked at him worriedly.
- No. We need to talk. – He said with surprise.
- Oh. All right, Erik, just let me change the sheets…
- They can wait. – He hugged her shoulder and kissed her forehead gently. – Please, we need to talk.
They walked into the drawing room and Christine was eyeing Erik with a mixture of worry and love. He took a seat in his favorite chair, facing his wife and smiled at her.
- Did Erik hear it right that you made the boys clean their room?
- Yes. – She nodded.
- Did he hear it right that you also threatened them with punishment shall they disobey?
- Yes, dear. – Christine nodded.
- Thank you. – Erik caught her hand and kissed it numerous times.
- Oh… - She laughed out, finally realizing Erik wasn't angry with her.
- Erik thanks Christine for not being mad at him, and seeing the children need to be punished sometimes.
- Erik, I realized I made a mistake. I mean I spoiled the children too much, because I thought they will love me more if I don't punish them a lot. I was wrong. Noel… deserved what he got. – She admitted.
- Oh Christine it is so good you understand… you know, I am sorry for forgetting Belle. I don't know why it happened… but people in the park said Erik doesn't deserve kids… and you called him a terrible father.
- I wasn't right. – Christine hugged Erik's neck. – You are a good father. A very good father.
- I try my best. – Erik patted Christine's back. – You know, my dear Christine, Erik tries his best to be a good father as he had a terrible mother. He swore numerous times when he grew up, that if ever he shall have children, he will never treat them as Mother treated him. He never bet them by belt or wooden spoon, he never humiliated them on purpose, they hardly even received a slap or spanking, and if they did it was well deserved. But they NEED to learn their responsibilities, their duty and their boundaries. Yes, they need to be spoiled and loved – but not always.
- I agree, Erik dear. I see my fault earlier.
- So may Erik hope that Christine won't argue with him about disciplining the children anymore?
- Yes, dear. And I will discipline them just as you do.
- Erik is relieved to hear this. You know, it was hard to go against the wind always. You nearly always questioned me about this, giving me bad feelings, making me insecure. I was afraid I will have no power in their eyes because if I forbade something, you instantly allowed it. And it is tiring, Christine. Very much tiring. This is why I just did not tell them any more to clean up, for example. They just went to you, whined some and you let them play again just as Erik said nothing. It made me frustrated and tired and I just decided to leave them alone and let you three be happy. At least Mahtab obeys me.
- Why did you never tell me this?
- I did not think you would agree. – He said softly.
- I do now. And I am sorry for the inconveniences I had caused.
- It is all right. – Erik smiled warmly. – I never was angry with you.
- I wish to talk to you as well. – She continued.
- Really? – He tilted his head to the side in surprise. – Well, what do you wish to tell me?
- I am thinking of staying at home with you. – Christine started.
- Well, you do stay at home as you don't perform this week. – Erik shrugged.
- Not even any other week. I am staying home with you all.
- What? – Erik gasped. – You wish to leave the Opera?
- Yes. – She nodded with determination.
- Christine you are at the top of your career! You are the diva, everyone loves you and you are the most talented singer ever! Would you just throw your success away? What did that leech tell you, eh? Did he tell you to stay at home with Erik…?
- He did not. Erik, please listen, will you? Well, your illness is just a part of the reasons I wish to stay at home.
- What do you mean?
- Firstly, I am a mother and I paid too much attention to the stage. It was always poor you who had to stay home with them. I hardly see them in the season. I wish to spend more time with them.
- Partly true. – Erik admitted.
- I had spent many times in my career, Erik. Many colleagues of mine go home to be a housewife after they have the first child.
- But you are not just a random singer!
- I know. But Paris had enough time to see me on stage and cheer for me.
- Such a talent should not be hid in this house.
- Erik… you had helped me to achieve my dreams as a singer and I am thankful for that. But there is no more to achieve in that field. I have sang all the difficult roles. I have sang Gounod, Wagner, Offenbach, Mozart… but now I wish to be a mother when I grew old.
- Grew old? Christine, don't make me laugh! You are young! Erik is old!
- Erik, I am already 38 years old. Two years and I turn 40.
- And? That is still young.
- I remember you told me once you find it disgusting that singers 50 and up do sing the role of a 16 year old girl.
- That is laughable indeed, but you have yet 12 years until you turn 50. You are young, and look younger than your age. You are not an overweight wrinkled canary like most of them.
- But I think I shall stop at the top. Who knows what happens to my voice…? I mean… there are many singers who sing at the old age as well and don't notice when they have no voice any longer.
- Erik will inform you when you start to lose it. If it ever happens.
- Erik, I wish to stay here with you.
- Let me guess: you are afraid you will find Erik dead one day when you arrive home from the Opera in the company of his mourning children.
- Partly. But all I said before is true as well and are parts of my decision. Erik I did not come up with the idea today.
- No?
- No. I had been thinking about it for a few months, but this seizure was the final thing which secured me in this decision. Erik, I am planning to play this season through, so the management has time to search for a replacement. But Christine Spöke isn't performing in the season of 1899/1900.
- If it is so, Erik accepts your decision. Whatever makes you happy.
- Thank you dear. And I promise things are going to change from now, even while I am still performing. You are not alone.
Erik smiled at his wife, stroke her golden locks and kissed her lovingly on the cheek. Who would think someone can grow up during an afternoon?
