That next day was horrible for nearly all the family.

Erik was feeling under the weather, he had a terrible headache after the seizure and he mostly had to keep his eyes shut, as lights were bothering him. His dislocated wrist, which he eventually relocated for himself, was hurting him, and his bitten tongue was sore as well. Christine had to close the drapes to make Erik be at least able to open his eyes without pain, but the poor man slept for most of the day. He lay on a bed, worn out, in pain and in no mood to do anything. The Daroga tried to comfort him with some encouraging words, just as Erik tried before to support him in his devastated mind about not being able to move his hand, but Erik wasn't in the mood to be cheered up. He just growled at the Persian to leave the room, in a quite obscene manner, and as the Daroga did not wish to upset the poor man any more, he obeyed.

The children were asked to play and go around as softly as possible, not to bother Papa as he wasn't feeling well that day. The older kids were mostly more or less used to these days, as Erik's health decreased, so they did not fuss too much. They knew that Erik will rejoin the family as he feels better, and until that, they were trying to be understanding and not making trouble.

Belle, as the youngest yet, did not really get the hang of being sick and needing peace and quiet though. She walked to the bed and saw Papa was sleeping so late, so she just wished to wake him up. She climbed next to him and curiously placed her small hands against Erik's chest. She climbed on his stomach and sat on him, and reached out to catch his face. Erik opened his eyes with a moan, but he could not bear himself to send the child away or talk harshly to her as he would most likely did to anyone else.

- Hi Pa! – She clapped as she noticed Erik's open eyes.

- Belle. – He just petted the girl's red hair, and hoped she won't make too much noise to make his head pound.

- Love you Pa. – She smiled and clapped again.

- Love you too. – He smiled, as these words were so dear to his ears, still, said by anyone.

He slowly closed his eyes again, and he was surprised he did not notice anything of Belle's presence any more. He fell asleep again. His tortured and tired body was fleeing from pain, and having to think too much.

The penitent wife was worrying about her husband, and she swore in her mind many times that she will never ever upset Erik that much anymore. As she noticed Belle was sitting on Erik's chest and constantly babbling to him, she gently picked the girl up and carried her down to the Persian and asked him if he could babysit her for a small time, as she was with Erik. She knew that the poor man needed a rest and she did not wish to bother him and make him suffer more, but she simply had to talk to him. She slowly approached the bed again and knelt down next to it. She took Erik's thin hand and gently massaged his fingers.

- Erik… - She called out softly. – You… here with me? – Christine was worried, as Erik had slept the whole day, and did not seem to be better.

- Yes. – Erik replied faintly. – What is the matter…? My head is killing me. Please… no more bad news.

- No bad news dear. Only good news from now. – She lifted the cold skeletal hand up and kissed it. – I love you and I am sorry for upsetting you so much…

- It wasn't you… not only you. This day was a nightmare.

- Erik, I won't be harsh on you… I know I want the best for… him.

This was the first time Christine used "him" when she was thinking of Mahtab. Erik gave a weak smile and nodded in agreement.

- Thank you. – He said. – I knew you will… understand.

- I do. And I will support him with anything. Whatever it is he wants, if it makes him happy, only that matters.

- Life is too short to live it in anxiety. I know so. – Erik sighed.

Christine agreed about this, and decided not to worry about things that much anymore. The family lived through worse as well, and they will get through this trouble just fine. The only thing that matters is that Erik will feel better… that he would survive…

She did not bother Mahtab about the happening – she decided she will leave the child alone and if he wanted to talk, he will ask anyway. She just nonverbally showed him support by stroking his golden hair and looking in those differently colored eyes with a mother's love, and smiled at him.

Mahtab, though did not speak about the issues to Christine, and was a bit quieter than usual, seemed to be all right. He was too calm, compared to the sobbing he did the night before. Christine was worried that he will cry for weeks to come, but it had no trace at all. He even smiled sometimes, especially when he picked up Belle on his lap to play with her. Christine found it stange that such a trauma can fade away in a few hours, but maybe Mahtab simply did not want to think of what happened. She did not blame the young and confused teen. Maybe he was yet too tired to sort out his feelings, and seemingly, he just wanted to be young and free of trouble- a child. Everyone has their own way of dealing with stress. Some cry, and some just try to hide it – Mahtab started to take after Erik, who sobbed and yelled at first, but later he acted cold and talked in one word sentences. Mahtab at least wasn't sad, or wore a mask that showed he was happy… he refused to think of Julie and the issues that were bothering and confusing him.

In the evening Erik joined the family at the dining table. He ate nothing that day yet, and he started to feel hunger. Christine was relieved that her husband wanted to eat finally, and hoped he felt better. Erik looked fairly well, he wasn't that much tired and was able to smile at the kids as he noticed they were all there. Belle ran to him and climbed on his lap, just as Mahtab did when she was so small.

- Pa here. – She smiled happily.

- Yes, Papa is here. – Erik smiled and stroke her hair.

- Pa play hoosey! - She asked.

- All right, but after that you eat your dinner nicely, will you?

As the child nodded, Erik slowly and carefully started to play horse ride with her on his knee, Christine could not help, but laugh at the old man and that cute young girl playing together.

Strange thing that knowing the truth about Belle did not change her thoughts and love for her. Deep in her heart, she knew the truth already, since the very first day. For two years, Erik was trying to keep a secret, but she understood why he did it. And what would have happened to this sweet little girl if she wasn't found by Erik that night? What kind of parents could abandon such a nice little thing, literally hours after her birth? What did she do to deserve this treatment? It was horrible to think about how many children suffered the same, and even worse fate as she did, and Christine could not find an excuse that could absolve this act. Poverty? No. Papa Daaé was poor, for sure, there were times when he did not eat… because they did not have enough for two. But on those days he rather gave the last slice of bread and cheese to Christine, claiming he wasn't hungry that day, or saying it was lent for all fathers on Earth that day, so only the children were allowed to eat. She knew it wasn't true now. Papa only wanted her to eat rather than him, and she was sure Papa would never abandon her like that, no matter what, and she despised Belle's parents in her heart and mind, for this unforgivable sin. She was determined to raise the child in so much love and wealth that she will never know the sentence "we don't have any more left, dear… sorry."

After dinner,when Papa was well enough to get up and walk around, Mahtab decided to open up his heart and walked to the old man and sat beside him on the couch. Erik did not ask anything either, as he did not know what his child wanted: to talk or just to sit in silence, just like him when he was under the weather. Mahtab was looking at him for a time, but after a man to a man conversation started between them.

- How are you? – The child inquired.

- Better. – Erik replied.

- I am glad. Why did you have the seizure…?

- Nothing. You know it happens.

- The doctor said it is triggered by stress. – Mahtab went on. – Were you stressed because of me?

- Partly. – Erik admitted. – But I am not angry with you. Rather with the man who humiliated you the way he did.

- When you told my life will be hard… did you mean this?

- Yes. – Erik nodded.

- Well, Papa, I will be strong. I am not a coward girl who runs. I used to be, when they attacked me at school. Now I am not. I am a brave man.

- What do you want to do? – Erik looked at the teen with worry. – Do you wish to take a revenge? A duel…?

- No. – Mahtab shook his head. – I had horrible thoughts at first. I really directed a cliché opera in my mind. I was fantasizing about duel, simply walking there and shooting Julie in the heart, in that cold heart, but… what would be the use of it? I also thought about it would have been better if I just let her drown in the water… but these horrible thoughts are just woken by my jealousy and hurt. She still deserves life, and happiness. If not with me, then with someone else. I only feel that I am an evil person for these thoughts, Papa… Am I…?

- Thoughts like these poison your life, indeed. But you are not a bad person for this. I had thoughts like this as well when my heart was broken. And you, my child, are cleverer than your father.

- Why do you say that? – Mahtab gasped with surprise.

- It took Papa nearly fifty years to learn the same lesson you just worded. I admire you for it. And I respect you.

- Thank you. – Mahtab let out a relieved sigh.

- It is kind of normal to think like this, until they only remain thoughts. – Erik sighed.

How much better person is her child, who, just as a 15 year old, feels already that this is not the right path to follow? When he was in her age, he way yet through the first murder, and he still did not regret it, looking back. He was now ashamed of his older actions in the past. But he only felt shame, and was afraid his children would learn about his murders and would loathe him for them. Shame and fear were the feelings he felt – but still not regret. He did not pity the people he killed. They deserved what they got, and what scared him the most was that he considered the same things as Mahtab did, but he wasn't restrained by conscience, as the child- he was simply not feeling physically well enough to go there and kill the asshole. But if he was, he would have done it for his child, with such a brutality that it scared him. Back in the old routine? After so many years without killing, he thought he was able to go on without the thought of murdering someone, but the truth was that his weakness that day wasn't only because of the aftermath of the epileptic seizure. He was hallucinating about killing that man in numerous possible ways, starting with the simple strangling, followed by many kinds of defacements, he actually wanted to cut off that man's nose in the first place, so that he will know what is it like to leave without one… oh, he got so disgusting thoughts he just needed to shut them out. When Belle climbed on his chest, he was happy to see a cute innocent child instead of those horrid thoughts…

He would have died if Mahtab found out about those mental images he had.

To concentrate on something else, and because Mahtab seemed to be clueless still, that evening contained a serious talk about differences between a man and a woman, and yet Mahtab preferred to be a boy, Erik finally explained him that he lacked a body part which was indeed crucial to the process of fathering a child, and babies were not made by a kiss, however heartfelt and passionate that kiss may be. No matter if they kiss in bed or somewhere else, more things are required to have kids- which is impossible for Mahtab because of the fact he lacked that body part.

- So I can't have a child anyway? – Mahtab asked.

- Well… unless you accept the… other way that you will be the one who gives birth.

- I would rather die. – Mahtab made a face. – It must be painful as Hell. And… Mama nearly… died… last time.

- How do you know this? – Erik gasped in surprise.

- I do. – Mahtab sighed. – I overheard a talk between the doctor and Tonton Mohammed once. And I read Oliver Twist… you know. Since I read that book I knew it was possible for woman to die of childbirth. I don't wish to die and leave a baby alone for a life. I don't want to give birth to an Oliver that will be loathed and neglected by everyone.

- Oh, child, it is not sure you would. – Erik patted Mahtab's head, and stroke his hair. – And you are so young yet… future brings what it brings. But you know… there is always the option to adopt an orphan. Either as a man or a woman.

- Papa, you told me you were lonely for a long time before you met Mama.

- True. – Erik nodded.

- And why did you not adopt a baby if you were so lonely? – He inquired.

- Well… let's just say I did not value children the way I do now. – Erik chose to be honest that night with his oldest, he knew Mahtab was mature enough now to understand. – I only saw the negative side before… the work with them… the crying… the mess… and I did not think I was capable of raising a small thing. And to be honest, I did not know if the child would be afraid of me or not.

- I know what you mean. – Mahtab put his hand on his father's shoulder. – I know, believe me.

The summer vacation for the family ended sooner than they imagined. Not only because Erik and Mahtab got enough of Perros, but the weather was turning rather gloomy and rainy for days to come, and the children were stuck in the house, which resulted in they were constantly running around restlessly, or fighting due to the fact so many people were in a smaller house than they were used to, so they constantly had to make compromises, but being together wasn't so easy, especially with Noel. Erik decided it was enough, and they returned to Paris.

Seemingly, Paris did not hear about the awful rains in Perros, because when they arrived back home, the sun was shining brightly, allowing the boys to go outside to play and release their energies finally. As Christine put her suitcase on the bed, she turned to Erik and looked at him with a look on her face which was hurtful to watch.

- Erik… you know what you promised. – She whispered sadly.

- Christine… - Erik sighed half worriedly, half irritated. – We hardly even arrived home. Tomorrow…

- No, Erik. Today. – Christine swallowed back some tears. – We were already waiting two years with it.

- Christine, we are just through a long journey… dear, you should rest…

- I can, after I said good bye to my son. – She demanded. – Until I have no peace in my heart, and you know it. I want to go to visit his grave right NOW.

- All right, just give me some time… - Erik shook his head in dismay.

- Erik, the sooner the better.

- All right, I understood Christine. – Erik growled. – Can it wait two more minutes perhaps, so I am allowed to go to the bathroom? – He added with annoyance.

- Oh… if that is the case…- She murmured in front of herself in embarrassment. True, she was so occupied by the thought of visiting her son's grave that she did not think of anything else. Not even her body, let alone his.

When Erik appeared again, and he reached out for her hand, she followed Erik as she was a zombie. She could not think of anything else, but the baby she never met, and never knew. She still loved him with all her heart, only as a mother could love. She again thought of Erik's mother, and had to cry even harder as she noticed the fact, yet again, that Erik, because of his face, wasn't accepted and loved by his mother. She was able to love Mahtab, and her heart ached for Beau. Oh, just to hold him in her arms for some moments, before he passed away… just as Erik did… and sing a lullaby to him… what kind of a mother disregards having a child…?

As they arrived to the spot where Erik placed a nicely carved wooden cross to mark the grave and even carved the heartbreaking few lines on it:

"Beau Spöke

Given and taken by God on 14th June, 1898.

A part of our heart lays here with him.

R.i.p. "

As Christine read the text, she was so heartbroken that she had to hug Erik with her full force, not to faint. She was sobbing as she was tightly holding her husband, who was stroking her back comfortingly and with support, but he was shaking with crying as well. When Christine composed herself enough, she knelt down to the grave, she softly caressed the ground, and started humming a cradle song for the baby laying there. Erik placed his death's hand on Christine's shoulder as he leaned closer to the grave as well. He was humming the same song as well, with shaky breath, and Christine, yet she felt her heart was about to break, she was thankful that Erik was sharing in her grief. After the song ended, both of the mourning parents wished good night to their son, and walked home arm in arm, still crying.

As they arrived home, they were calm enough to face the happily running children. They were surprised to notice that Florian was jumping around, screaming in happiness like he had lost his mind. The Daroga was trying to hush him a bit as he noticed Erik and Christine weren't in the best mood, but the boy was so overly excited that he did not listen.

- Papa, Papa, this is the happiest day of my life truly! – He hugged Erik with passion.

- What has gotten into you? – Erik gasped with surprise. Florian was never this excited before. With his shy attitude, he rather quietly grinned at something good happening. This euphoria was yet unknown to the parents.

- My music… - He started stuttering. – My music…

- Erik, you received a letter while we were away. – The Daroga helped him out as he noticed the boy was too excited to speak.

- And you opened it? – Erik growled.

- It was entitled as urgent. Sorry, but I wanted to see it was nothing seriously wrong.

- And is it? – Christine inquired.

- It is a good news. Florian's symphony was accepted and published in England. They also asked him to attend a meeting in person in London. They wish to put the symphony in concert.

- Do you hear that? – Flo hugged Erik harder. – Do you, Papa?

- I might be old, but not deaf. – Erik scolded playfully. – So you wish to go to London, eh?

- I do… I do Papa… may I? – Flo asked with hope.

- It would certainly be a huge jump in his career. – Erik was thinking out loud. – Only one problem is he can't go all alone, an adult should accompany him at least.

- I will. – Christine said.

- You? – Erik pointed at his wife. – An adolescent and a woman? Even the idea is nonsense. – Erik gasped.

- Erik… I hope you know I have travelled alone before.

- A woman going to another country with a child is more than laughable. And dangerous. Besides, it is not only about your gender, but forgive me, love, but you know nothing about business. The boy needs a manager who talks to publishers, talks with the orchestra if they don't simply accept a preteen's orders, and that is, Christine, something you know nothing of. It is a man's job. You need at least a man to accompany you… and with that effort it will be simpler if it is only Florian and me who go.

- You know well that your health is…

- My health is just fine, I can take care of myself. And I am not climbing into a coffin just because you decided. I am capable of going to England.

- And what if you die abroad? – The Daroga asked. – You remember what happened in Perros. Do you wish to leave your son alone in a foreign country out of pride?

- Thank you, but I did not ask for your opinion.

- Yet he is right. Either you take him or none of you go. – Christine placed her hand on her hip.

- All right, all right. – He sighed. – The Daroga comes too.

- Papa… may I go too? – Mahtab's forced tenor could be heard from the corner. – Please.

- No, Mahtab, it is only Flo, the Daroga and me.

- Why not me too? – Mahtab asked.

- Because shall I take you and all the others will be lawfully demanding to come as well.

- Why can't all of us go? – Mahtab went on.

- Because Belle is too young for such a journey yet. – Christine explained. – And she can't stay home alone. I have to stay home with her and I would be happy if you stayed as well, to help me.

- But… it is London… - Mahtab sighed dreamily, forgetting about his voice, which suddenly slipped back in the mezzosoprano range.

- Mahtab, I need help with your siblings and the house… - Christine tried to reason why it was a bad idea to go to London… she would be happier if Mahtab wasn't seen in another country. Not because of her face, as it was now successfully covered by a human mask similar to Erik's, and that disguise was working for both of them… but she was scared Mahtab will have similar bad experiences as in Perros.

- It would be a huge opportunity. – Mahtab said. – And I will finally have a reason to speak English.

The gears in Erik's brain were in a constant work, he wasn't talking for a time. He tried to search for the best solution. True, Mahtab can't be locked away from people in all his life. He needed more experiences, and Flo and Mahtab were very close to each other. It maybe will be better if Florian isn't the only child in the group. Besides… both Mahtab and him will miss each other dearly. He did not openly admit it, but Mahtab was still his favorite child, and he was simply unable to leave the teen here for a bunch of time. It may take long months with the rehearsals and the concert until they can return. Not seeing Mahtab for months was not only painful to imagine because of missing him, but also because Mahtab's recent trauma. He did not know how much time it will require him to get through it, and if he left him here alone, without any emotional support in this matter, he could turn depressed during those months. Maybe a change of the climate will do him some good?

- Mahtab comes as well. – He stated after a long silence.

- And me? – Noel jumped up. – Me?

- You will have much bigger task to do. – Erik leaned closer to the boy who pierced him with his glance. – You will be the man of the house once all the other older men go away.

- Really? – Noel started thinking.

- Yes. You have to guard the ladies. Be strong and brave.

Noel started thinking for a second. In all his life, he was the youngest of the boys. He never had a chance to prove he was the man of the house, and such a big responsibility can't be missed. With a huge grin he shook Papa's hand and promised he will be a very productive guardian gentleman for the ladies.

The appointment with the publisher for Flo was booked to the 23rd of September, so they needed to depart a week after the return from Perros if they wanted to arrive in time.

Christine was left at home with only Noel and Belle, and as she watched the other family members leaving, her heart became heavy. She was partly sad about missing Erik, but she was awesome much worried about her husband. What if she only receives a death report from England? She would so love to see her son's symphony performed… she now only had to content herself with Erik's close- mouthed letters. He had nearly unreadable cursive and he wasn't too good at expressing his thoughts in writing so he only wrote the facts mostly.

The first letter came in a few days after the departure and Erik literally closed it in two lines.

Calais, 22nd August, 00

Dear Christine,

We are doing well. We are about to cross La Manche. Weather is good. The children are excited. Hope you are doing well, and I send my love to Noel and Belle, and countless kisses to you.

Love with all my heart,

Your devoted husband:

Erik A. Spöke.

Yes, all Erik wrote was true, but it was not much, and did not describe the situation they were in at all. The children weren't simply excited. They were in ecstasy, and poor men could not answer all their questions. To make matters worse, yes the weather was good in general, but was quite windy, which caused waves, and they were getting on a ship. That fact was quite enough to make Erik's mood bad.

He did not tolerate travelling by ship even on calm waters, and if they will get in a storm with this wind getting stronger, it will be no good news for him at all. Oh, why, oh why God created seas and why they can't just ride to London on ground?

The 17 hour travelling by the ship was a nightmare for Erik. He was thankful that at least it won't last for days, but his motion sickness still kicked in. Mahtab did not know it was possible to be sick from travelling by ship. He did not have any problem with it, nor Flo, and the Daroga. Erik was the only one from the small group affected by seasickness, but he felt so terrible it was painful to watch. Mahtab tried to take care of his beloved Papa the best he could, hoping they will get to England soon.

Erik was trying to concentrate on something else, but he still vomited a lot, as he could not help himself. That is why he avoided raveling by ship when they were going to Persia with the Daroga. He did not make compromises for his friend, but he did for his child.

A real parent does self-sacrifice for his children. At least it won't last forever.