The following day was a bit of sad, no one really liked to admit they did not want to go back to Paris. Save for Belle, who was excited to see a "new place" as she did not remember Paris any more - she was yet a baby when they moved to London, and Greg, who could not be happier to travel "abroad" as he always wanted to see more of the world. He kept asking the older siblings about France, and he was excited to no end about it.

- Will I learn to speak French too? - He asked happily, turning to Noel.

- Yes, but it is tricky compared to English. - Noel nodded. - You will need to practice a lot, especially grammar.

Noel sighed, as homework came to his mind. They received a lot of French homework, as Erik was certain about they "nearly forgot how to speak their native tongue already" as they were "constantly speaking English for years". Noel did not like to admit, but his grammar and spelling wasn't the best in French even back at home, and now he could have found some better way to spend time than writing French sentences which will be full of errors and typos.

Mahtab was sorry they had to leave just when he found someone who could understand him finally, and felt he will never ever find anyone like this again, such a girl as Bonnie. Yes, they may be penfriends, but it will be extremely hard compared to meeting in person regularly. Maybe they will never meet again. He knew how much his emotions faded away towards Sophie as well, and he hated himself for that. She wasn't the dear sister- like friend too him any more, only a good friend he wrote a letter to sometimes - oh, not as often as he should have, not at all. It was painful to face the cruel reality it will happen to Bonnie as well, in some days. They are going to write to each other, at first, a lot, every day… and days run, years pass, and…

Forget me not, Bonnie. God bless you.

Florian… well, he was heartbroken as well to lose Lily for long- long years while he shall attend school in Paris. He did not like the idea at all, he still felt like a young child, controlled by Papa's will as a puppet, and not being able to support his family. He wanted to show everyone he was responsible enough to start his family, and make a living of composing, teaching and giving concerts. He loved Lily and could not imagine to be separated from her, especially when the girl would need him the most. How on Earth will Lily deliver a baby all alone, without any help? Financial support means so little. She will be isolated, unable to work, always dependant on Papa's allowance, and she can't even marry anyone with a child any more… People will despise her and call her a little whore. What a sad life of an outcast… why Papa can't understand this and give so harsh replies like "You have cooked this for yourselves, now eat it." Flo was desperate and knew this solution wasn't helping anyone. He was angry, to be honest, at Papa mostly, as he made this decision.

Noel was neutral about moving back to Paris. He did not mind it, unlike his older brothers he had no one to miss from London. The boys he used to play and fight with were all dumb and they could not understand any more serious issues than playing ball games, and exchange taws, or running with a wheel on the streets all day long. He liked to play these games, but not all the time, and when he was trying to talk about science or at least music to the other kids, they weren't paying attention, the fools. He could only converse with his siblings, anyway, so it was all the same to him where was he with his siblings: in London or in Paris. Only one thing bothered him about the journey: Papa and his state of health in general. He did not know whether travelling back to Paris from London was going to do Papa any good health- wise. He was seriously ill many times in their childhood and he was an old man. And Noel found himself selfish enough to want his father beside him for some more years to come, no matter how he did not like to admit it.

- What did you say? - Erik turned to Greg with a surprised expression all over his face at the dinner table. - Repeat.

- Tu es laid. - Greg replied again with his monotonous sounding, a bit of gruff voice. Erik closed his eyes and sighed.

- What do you think it means, son? - Christine was terrified Greg exactly knows it, and he called Erik "ugly" in French for a reason.

- I asked for some more milk, did I not?

- No, you did not. - Erik shook his head and sent a strict look towards his older sons. - I give three seconds to the sinner to stand up and apologize. One…

- It was me, sorry. - Noel jumped up.

- I knew, but I wanted to give you an opportunity to admit it yourself. - Erik barked and pointed at his son with his fork he was still holding. - You finished your dinner, leave the room.

- It wasn't Noel. - Greg said suddenly. - I don't know why he says so, but it wasn't him this time.

Noel did not know if he should rather speak or walk away to accept punishment in silence, but Papa was already starting to act like the policeman Tonton Mohammed again, which did not mean anything good.

- He must have misunderstood "lait" for "laid" Papa, they sound similar. - Mahtab was trying to save the situation, desperately wanting to avoid more drama going on in the family.

- And he called me milk. - Erik retorted in a bad mood. - But anyway, I am not even interested any more. - He stood up. - Finish your dinner and do what you want to, I am going to retreat. Good night.

Erik walked away from the table and out of the room, rather slowly and laboriously, just as mostly in those days. He had physical pain, of course, but right at that moment he felt worse emotionally. Whichever child of his taught Greg to call him ugly, wanted to send him a message which he understood clearly, and agreed with it wholeheartedly. He was ugly, in the outside and in the inside, both. Still. No matter how many children he had fathered, how many years he was married, and how he tried to raise his children the best way possible, and he made efforts enormously huge not to make the mistakes his Mother made, he failed. He made other mistakes than his Mother and they weren't any better. He thought it was easy to raise children, if they are loved for themselves, they turn out to be good. This was the theory he had in his mind for all his life, that Erik himself would have turned out to be a good boy if someone loved him in his childhood, and if he loves his children, they can't make bad decisions or do bad things. He was a failure to all of the fields he wanted to be good at.

He wasn't a good husband. He knew Christine would have deserved someone better than him. He was, at the beginning of their marriage, simply a lunatic with a moderately severe addiction to drugs and alcohol, and he burst out in fits of anger and jealousy far too many times to be tolerable. After he finally calmed down, and some years passed in pleasant calmness he treasured the most in life, Christine got pregnant with Mahtab. He spent nearly a year worrying about the possibility of passing the deformity and secretly hoping Christine was going to miscarry. After Mahtab was born he spent months of ignoring the child, and despising its looks just as much as Mother did his. After he tried to make up for this by spoiling Mahtab to no end, and sometimes either being too indulgent or too strict towards all of his children in general. They did not get a role model and weren't normally taught about what is good or bad maybe? They did not agree about raising children with Christine many times in the past, and it caused many misunderstandings in which he maybe tended to overreact. He was touchy and said many things he did not mean and things he should have never said to his wife. No, he wasn't a good husband and nor he was a good father and a good friend. All of his sins and wrong decisions came to his mind as he was sitting in front of the desk in the study, but he couldn't see anything of the world surrounding him.

He was thinking for a long time, contemplating his life and trying to think of a solution how to solve the problems he was causing constantly.

- Let me hear the story, who was it and why? - Tonton made all of the children stand in a line in front of Christine and him, to investigate the issue after Erik left.

- You all know there are words we are not using in our house. - Christine now really seemed to be angry. - In any language. - She added. - So I want to know who was the idea from?

- It was me who taught Greg to tell Papa this. - Flo answered finally, looking at his feet in sadness and guilt.

- I knew it wasn't Noel. - Mohammed nodded gracefully. - It isn't his way to act in the last few months, he is turning more polite.

- But if it wasn't you, Noel, why did you want to be punished for something you did not do? - Christine walked to Noel and put her hand on his shoulder.

- Papa is angry with Flo because of the baby issue and I did not want him to get another punishment. Flo is angry because we have to go back to Paris, I understand him in a way. And anyway… I got used to punishments, I often misbehave. One more or less is nothing to me. - Noel replied.

- I just acted out of instinct. - Flo admitted. - I did not know a better way how to tell Papa I am angry, but after Greg said what he said I simply did not dare to look into Papa's eyes and tell him it was me.

- And this is how a responsible man acts? Sending childish remarks about someone who loves you with all his heart and only wants the best for you? He only wanted to save you from the scandal YOU had caused. You… you know how he feels about that word. - Christine sighed deeply and quickly turned around to leave the room.

Mahtab was the first one to regain his common sense after the scene and he instantly caught Belle's hand and kissed her.

- Come dear, it is bedtime. We take a bath and go to sleep. - He cooed calmingly.

- I don't understand these games we are playing at night, are these mini plays? - Belle asked with confusion while heading towards the bathroom.

- Yes they are. - Mahtab nodded.

- All right but next time play something happier, I am scared. - She removed the ribbon from her hair.

- We will play happier things, don't worry. - Mahtab hurriedly led Belle to the bathroom and helped her to undress for a bath.

Christine was crying in the master bedroom after she found Erik's door closed and the man did not respond to any of her knocking and callings. She wished to comfort her poor husband after the scene which took place, as it was one of the worst things which could have happened in this family and Christine exactly know how Erik feels about the u- word and what it symbolizes for him. For some reason she suspected something terrible to happen shortly and she needed to cry.

Florian appeared next to her after some time and penitently sat down next to her on the sofa.

- Mama I am sorry. - He whispered.

- I hope you are. - Christine sounded broken, and she did not lift her head from her hands where she buried it, fighting her tears.

- I don't mean what I… so I don't find Papa ugly in any way.

- I hope you don't. - Christine finally looked at her son, her beautiful blue eyes full of tears. - Flo if you knew how hard your father is working to be a good father to you all, you would never call him by that word ever again, and you would never have. There was a time I called him that as well, but he developed so much since that… it is nearly inhuman how hard he is trying. He is not perfect Flo, I know. But neither you are, right? - She stood up from the sofa and walked to the window to look out. - Don't ask for my forgiveness. Ask for his.

Christine hoped Erik will at least let Florian in and listen to him so she can meet and talk to her husband after the boy apologizes. Worriedly she sat down on the side of the bed and was listening to any of the noises coming from the study. The only noise she could hear after some minutes, was Flo's gasp and desperate cry, then his footsteps getting closer and closer.

- Mama! Mama come here… - Flo sounded to be scared, and Christine was now sure something terrible happened…

Her heart was pounding in her throat and her hands were trembling when she stepped in to the now open door of Erik's study. Erik was gone. He was nowhere at the desk or in none of the chairs, and neither he was fallen under or behind the desk. Christine started to wonder if there was something wrong at all, as Erik wasn't laying there dead or injured or unconsciously.

- It is because of me, Mama? - Flo asked softly, while he was nervously cracking his fingers.

- He is… he is gone, maybe he just went to take a walk. - Christine stared at the boy absently, but Flo pointed at a piece of paper at the desk.

- No… that… have you read that?

Christine lifted up the paper and started to read it nervously.

Dearest wife and family,

I know I have made a mistake last night as well, but I am trying my best to fix it. I am sorry for the inconveniences I have caused to all of you and hope this action of mine is going to make all your lives the better and you can forgive me for the things I have said and done against you all.

Love with all my heart,

E. A. Spöke

Christine felt like she had just suffered a heart attack and frantically she pulled out a drawer from the desk and with trembling hand she reached behind it.

- It is not here… - She whispered faintly. - He took it with him…

She could not reply to Flo's nervous questioning, she barely heard her son when everything went black.

- I don't know why are you walking all alone I the rain at night, but if you must, at least wear proper clothing.

What…? What was that voice? Was she dreaming?

Christine could not open her eyes right away, but she could hear Erik was talking to someone, while just opening the door. Erik…?

- Oh Christine, my little singing bird, you here, Wake up sweetie, you have a proper bed, don't sleep here in the study, you dear girl, you will make your back hurt.

It was Erik's voice, for sure and she could feel his hand on her shoulder as he was helping her up from the couch. His gloves were wet, and he was cool, just as if he just have returned home.

- E… Erik…! - Christine hugged him close to herself tight, not being able to decide if she was dreaming now or she had a nightmare before.

- What is wrong? - Erik asked with worry. - Compose yourself a bit dear, we have a guest.

- Guest…? - Christine looked at the doorway where she saw a soaked girl, with dark hair and a scared pale face.

- Come in and sit at the fireplace, girl. - Erik ordered strictly. - The girl was trying to remove her shoes in embarrassment at the door, and whispered a faint "Good evening Ma'am." while passing Christine.

- I thought you… you… you committed something terrible… you left a good- bye note and… took the pistol….

- Ssssh! - Erik silenced his confused and worrying wife and took her hand to lead her out hurrying from the study and whispered. - Not in front of the… ballet rat. Please… Ummm. - He turned back to face the girl from the doorway and he once again talked louder. - Stay there for a few minutes I have to have a few words with my wife.

- M'sieur, I… this is urgent…

- I heard it before as well, stay there, I said.

Erik shut the door and gently pushed Christine to the master bedroom.

- At first: It wasn't a good bye note, I was simply informing you all about I changed my mind in some aspects. I don't know why you over complicate things always. - Erik tiredly got rid of his soaked cloak and held his hands near the fire. He could barely feel his fingers.

- But… if you did not go to commit… you know what… why did you take the pistol?

- It is not a nice thing to search among your husband's belongings while he is away, Christine. - Erik scolded. - And to answer your inquiry, I tell you I ALWAYS have a weapon with me. Either that or the string. Only self- defense, you see. If I leave the house for a few hours with a pistol it means nothing of that sort I wish to end my life.

- Oh you scared me. I thought the scene which took place…

- So you think just because my son calls me ugly out of revenge, I am going to the Thames and shoot myself in it?

- I had such visions.

- Oh Christine, don't be silly.

- But then what was it you changed your mind about…? Lily…? Did you… take her here?

- No, she ran into me a few corners nearby, I don't know what her problem is, she stuttered about some problem going on. I only took her here because I don't feel it right to have her running around in the rain in her state.

- What problem?

- I don't know, but I ordered her to dry herself at first. She may receive a sip of rum, but only a sip. Florian?

- He is I don't know where… he was worried about you and I fainted.

- All right, I will have a word with him.

- But if you did not go to fetch Lily, why did you leave?

- I am telling you only with the condition you are not saying a word to Mahtab before he finds out himself.

- Mahtab?

- Yes. You will understand later, but at first I am going to talk to Florian and please don't ask questions. And he shall not pester the ballerina over there. Take care of her please I am busy. Ask her what is it and try to talk to her like a woman to a woman or such. I was never pregnant I don1t know what to do to such a little… THING she is.

The way Erik said "thing" was worse than if he called her a whore. He nearly spat, and Christine thought, he would have, if he wasn't trying his best to remain a gentleman.

With a sigh, she collected all her empathy, and walked back to the study to talk to Lily.

The girl was nervously walking around in the room, Christine had a hard time to make her sit down finally and calm down a little.

- Take care of the baby, dear. Please if you are nervous, the baby might be harmed in your belly.

- You don't hate me? - Se sniffed.

- Oh no. - Christine shook her head. - Florian and you are just silly children. Silly- silly children.

With a forgiving smile, she stroke the girl's face with the back of her hand.

In Flo's room, there were not much words spoken between father and son. When the boy saw his father he jumped into his arms without a word and started crying, with love, relief and guilt. Erik knew what was on Flo's mind and he did not say a single word either, no accusations, just played with his son's curly locks playfully, and with love. He kissed Flo's forehead and dried his eyes with his handkerchief, and only after that he softly said in French:

- I love you.

- I love you too Papa.- Flo replied in French - and you are beautiful.

- Am I? - Erik smiled. - And am I even more beautiful if I tell you your little lover is here, eh?

But before they could say another word the door opened and Christine tucked her head in with a shock. - Erik… Lily says her aunt is dying… she needs a doctor… she heard you were a doctor… she has no money to call a real one, but she heard you two with Mahtab gave back Greg's voice…

- What has happened? - Flo gasped.

- Lily told her the news about the baby and she squeezed her heart and collapsed…

Erik jumped up and hurried to his oldest's door to knock:

- Mahtab, come with me I need assistance. Doctors are needed.