Poor little Lily could not find her place in that new family she was suddenly added to in utter hurry and inconvenience after that miserable tragedy she had gone through. She suddenly became to stay all alone in the world, surrounded by kind, but distant people at the moment, except for Flo and her kind "mother - in- law", Christine, who treated her just like a daughter from the first time, expecting a child at the age of not even 16 yet, being afraid of the coming future, including childbirth. She had heard many awful things about childbirth, it being utterly and unbearably painful, dangerous… and her mother died of that as well… maybe she did not even have to worry about the coming future, she wondered? Maybe she had less time remaining than she would think?
The morning of the funeral of her only remaining relative found her unable to get up from bed, as she was feeling too weak to even sit up and move. This was the sign which frightened her even more- here comes the day of her death… She cried help- and hopelessly, while Christine was trying to comfort her to the best of her abilities, acting like a supportive mother and sister at the same time. Lily felt she was unable to attend to Auntie's funeral, which was organized and paid for by that frightening tall and thin grumpy old man who would be able to kill her by a glance, as she felt, and would have most likely and preferably drowned her in a spoonful of water most of the time. In the end, the only people attending said funeral were the Persian, Erik, Flo, Mahtab and the priest, who did the easiest, cheapest and shortest ceremony possible for a lady, who "was hardly known and mattered nothing in the end" as Erik drily characterized her in a sudden bitter outrage after her passing.
Mahtab was relieved he did not have to attend a funeral which would have been full of painfully long listing of virtues of said late relative, giving him even deeper remorse than he had anyway. He felt awful seeing Lily laying in the bed, crying for her lost Aunt he accidentally helped out to reach afterlife. He was only able to hope Auntie was a good person and will go to Heaven or the Paradise as Tonton said… but thinking of the possibility of the old lady seeing Heaven did not lift his spirits and did not help him accept the catastrophe he had caused yet again. Now he hother opportunity to understand what Papa meant by "accursed ugliness" when talking about themselves. Yes, they accidentally are able to kill someone… and the horrible thing was he still did not feel guilt about his first murder he committed years ago to save Gregory. He felt real guilt only about this death, yet both Tonton and Papa had told him many times since the happenings he had nothing to do with it and the old thing most likely would have died just as fine as she did anyway. Yes, but why was it this way? Why she had to SEE him before it happened?
In a much worse mood than Flo was in, Mahtab was walking home next to Papa, wanting to get some emotional strength from out of his presence nearby, sometimes looking him right into the eye. Erik1s glance was always understanding but reassuring at the same time, and in the end he put his hand on his insecure son's shoulder, and squeezed it with fatherly love and passion. This was the first time since the happenings when Mahtab was able to smile a little.
Erik suddenly stopped, leaning against a wall with his back and waved dismissively at the others who stopped to see what was wrong with him.
- Go on, Daroga, I am fine.
- Are you sure?
- Yes, just my leg hurts a bit again. But nothing serious.
- Do you want me to stay near and help you? - Mahtab offered, noticing the hint in his father's eyes that he wanted to talk between just the two of them.
- Yes please, but not right away, I need to rest a bit. Daroga, Flo, go home and wait for us, we are following you shortly.
Thankfully the others understood the situation as well, so they just left without any more questions. When they were out of hearing range finally, Mahtab was the first one to speak.
- Deep down I know, with my mind, that it was just a miserable accident. Yet I can't get away from the thought I had caused it. Will it ever get better?
- Honestly, I do not know. - Erik shook his head, looking at Mahtab with pity. - Self- loathing and accusing yourself over deaths is very likely in our situation, son. I know what you are going thorugh, I can only say that I understand. I know only that problem is even bigger if people around you keep blaming you for it, but as you see, nothing like this happened at us.
- I thought only because you all love me too much to tell me the truth.
- Oh no. - Erik shook his head. - Yet I wished she would have seen my face instead of yours, I still think you had nothing to do with this. I repeat it for the last time, Mahtab. Her heart condition in itself was fatal. It was impossible to save her.
- You said nothing was impossible if someone really wanted it. You kept repeating it through all of my childhood.
- Nothing but avoiding the inevitable death. - Erik sighed. - Whatever you do, it comes. Sooner or later, through illness, accidents or murder. But it will come. And this, my son, wasn't murder. Please, at least, believe me. In this aspect, I am more educated and my knowledge is larger than any other human being's Death and murder used to be MY LIFE.
- You were trying hard enough to save me from that fate. - Mahtab admitted softly. - Seems like my looks only doesn't make me doomed?
- Doomed? Oh no. Only if you choose to be doomed. There were times I wholeheartedly believed one was to be doomed and become a monster with a face like this and has no chance of living a life like everyone else. But in the past more than 20 years I managed it quite well, don't you agree? And you shall manage even better, having a better childhood than your father. At least you were, and are loved. Don't forget this, whatever happens.
Mahtab could not help but hugged Erik tight, putting his head on his shoulder. All his childhood came to his mind, where his parents always loved and accepted him so much, he really had nothing to complain about. The times he spent sitting on Mama's and Papa's lap, sleeping between them, when he squeezed Papa's finger with his so small hands while walking back then, and remembered Papa warning him "Always take my hand, Mahtab." All of these sentences and scenes meant "I love you no matter who you are". They even accepted his strange request about wanting to be a boy and living the life of a male, despite originally being born as a female. What is this if not love? Poor Papa did not have half of this acceptance in his life before meeting Mama. He was never loved by anyone before, and no one cared about him, no one wanted to save him from nightmares or accidentally running out to the road. And still he is a good person, especially since he is married.
At that point he suddenly thought of Bonnie. This was the issue which bothered him about leaving the city of London soon, but he did not wish to tell it, knowing Papa must be feeling guilty about it anyway.
- Everything that bothers you will turn to the better. - Erik patted Mahtab's back reassuringly. - Just keep believing as you did before. You inherited a considerable amount of optimism from your dear Mother. Use it.
Mahtab laughed out shortly, then again, with an insecure look, he asked:
- And what about Lily?
- What do you mean? Why do you bother?
- What if she thinks… if she thinks… does she know what has happened to her Aunt…?
- Why do you care about what that ballet rat thinks about you or anyone else in the family? - Erik snorted. - Do you think she MATTERS at all in my eyes?
- She is part of the family as I see. - Mahtab replied with surprise.
- I wish she wasn't, if it was up to me.
- Flo loves her. - Mahtab sighed.
- Flo loves anyone who wears a skirt.
- This is not like his other love interests, Papa. He really loves her.
- She is just another number on Don Juan's List. - Erik made a grimace.
- She is a nice girl in general. Don't you think so? Mama likes her too.
- You and your dear, sweet and naive mother think everyone who isn't visibly heading towards you with an axe in their hands, a nice person. I do believe she is just a clever ballet rat who exactly knew who to go to bed with and whose family to use to get higher in society.
- Papa, we are not aristocrats.
- No. But I worked hard to get where I am now. And I give all of you a proper education and position to start your life to the best of your abilities… and what he does?
- I thought you have accepted Flo's decision and think Lily as a family member.
- Oh, but of course she is. - Erik sighed in annoyance. - As she has no living relatives at all any more, I have to adopt her, as if I send her to an orphanage your little brother won't talk to me ever again. But as she is successfully impregnated right now and expecting an offspring in her teens, I don't only have to adopt the baby is about to be born, having the situation of BOTH of its parents being under age, unable to either legally or financially take care of that child, but even its MOTHER. So, I adopt my grandchild and my damned daughter- in -law with one single signature, being a father- in law and a father, and a grandfather and father in one person. Isn't it a nice situation, tell me? Isn't it a bit of too much responsibility to take for an old and tired man in his seventies? I don't want to take the ballet rat to Paris with us, believe me. But I have to. I have no choice.
- You forget only one thing. - Now it was Mahtab being the emotionally more composed and more serious one from out of them. - That you are not alone for this task. It is not only your problem. We are a family, you see. This is what you always taught us about. We help each other. That child won't only be your responsibility. It is going to have uncles, great uncle, if you consider Tonton that, and a grandmother. And I am sure, despite Flo and Lily being teens, they will do a great job of taking care of the baby with only some help needed. And we are here to help them and you.
Erik fell silent just when he could finally be honest about his true feelings to someone in his family, and he did not have to disappoint. Mahtab did not judge him for being tired of constantly having to take responsibility for someone and that he felt it was too much for him. He understood his father and even helped him by listening and reassuring everything will be all right.
With a sigh and finally a smile, he adjusted his glasses and leaned against Mahtab's shoulder.
- We may go now. Thank you.
- Are you really in pain? - Mahtab asked with worry. - I thought you only pretended so to be able to talk to me in private.
- Partly yes, but my left knee is bothering me for the last few days in reality. - Erik replied with a bitter chuckle.
When they arrived back to the apartment, they saw Christine's pale form emerging from Belle's room and pouring herself a glass of wine. Erik instantly knew if his wife desires wine to drink in the middle of the afternoon, there is something wrong.
- What has happened? - He approached her with worry.
- She is so tortured. - Christine lifted up her glass with trembling hands. - I have been trying to comfort her all day long. Nothing helps. She is crying and… I am afraid she is going to lose the baby if she keeps going on like this.
- And what makes her so "tortured"? - Erik moaned angrily. - Is her pillow not soft enough?
- Erik… - she sighed. - Especially this is what makes her tortured. Your hatred.
- I don't hate her, I just can't stand her.
- Isn't it all the same? - Christine snorted.
- No. If I hated her I would not have allowed her to set a foot in my house, and would have most likely killed her in my youth. Now I just can not stand her presence and cried out eyes. She has no problem at all, other than losing an Aunt, who would have died anyway in a few months time.
- No problem at all? - Christine grabbed Erik's shoulder in a sudden fury. - Do you know what is it like to be pregnant? Do you know what is it like to be a young girl, all alone in the world, having no one?
- Having no one is familiar. Being pregnant isn't, and I know it isn't easy but must I feel sorry for her for her own mistake? She cooked it for herself. Now she has to eat it.
- Have you not made "mistakes" at all in your life? - She retorted, pointing at him.
- I have. - He admitted tiredly, not wanting to get involved in a fight.
- I have never thought you would be so cruel to the girl your son clearly loves and choose for himself.
- Oh come on. - Erik waved in the air. - A Romeo and Juliet kind of love, such a sweet couple I have to throw up..
- Then tuck your thick head in Belle's door and see them. You can decide for yourself!
Christine turned around and walked to the master bedroom's adjacent bath to wash her pale face from sweat and tears of frustration. Erik headed to the door and peeked inside with a shrug, to see what was so special to see about two teens making a Shakespearean drama come to life. What he saw though, was really something special.
Flo was sitting on the edge of the bed, silently holding Lily's hand watching her as she was trying to rest. He softly started humming after a few seconds and the girl's face reflected a tired smile finally, after all the crying she was gone through. Flo put his hand on her belly and rubbed it comfortingly, suddenly whispering:
- Hush now my sweet little child, Papa is here to make you and Mommy sleep.
Did Flo, the childish, irresponsible, flirtatious boy with such a painfully narrow interest as music and women, just testify traits he seemed to lack by far, and become a man? Did he just show how much he really loved that only one girl and no one else? Did he just state he was willing to raise the child? Did he mean it before as well, and wasn't it just said by a sudden virtue of wanting to play the role of an adult? No, it is not roleplaying. It is life. Life of a young boy, who knows what he wants and won't make his family do everything instead of him.
- They grow up so fast. - Erik sighed nearly inaudibly as he carefully shut the door behind himself and staggered away in awe. He was searching in his pocket for his handkerchief and dried his eyes of tears. And those tears, for the first time in this situation, weren't shed by frustration and hatred, but being touched of two lovers and their child…
His grandchild.
This was the first time he considered the unborn to be a legitimate relative of his own. Up until this time, it was just the bastard of Flo's love interest.
After Flo emerged from the bedroom of her lover and noticed his father waiting for him, he did not exactly know what to think when Papa asked him how "his daughter" was. Flo guessed wrongly it was Belle he was referring to, so he just replied Belle was nagging Noel and Greg at that moment to play tea party with them, but the boys don't really wish to join in that activity.
- You misunderstand, my dear. - Erik corrected with a smile. - I mean your wife.
Flo did not know if he heard it right, but after he decided to believe his great musician ears, so he smiled and replied:
- She is better. Now sleeping.
- Is she in pain?
- Umm… none that I know of. - Flo scratched his ear in disbelief.
- This is good to hear. You might not know, my sweet son, but pregnancy does wear women out, especially if someone is so fragile and young as Lily. Please take good care of her and help her with everything she needs help with - you are a man now, after all.
Flo did not believe his ears the least. Papa, up until this point said nothing but he did not care about Lily and this was the very first time he called her by her name, and the unimaginable thing happened: he called Lily as his wife. Did Papa finally accept their love? But why so suddenly? In the morning he was muttering under his breath about Lily being a drama queen, and now he wants her to be treated kindly? Well, Papa always had mood swings…
Flo ran to Papa and hugged him tight, with tears of joy running down his face.
- I knew you will get to like her as soon as you get to know her… Papa… thank you… I knew you did not hate her…
Christine, seeing the earlier scene, finally smiled and shook her head with a relieved sigh. She knew her husband can't be the monster without feelings… the Phantom of the Opera… he isn't that any more.
When Lily woke up in the evening and Flo wanted to bring dinner for her, Erik gently took the tray from out of his son1s hands and asked for permission to bring it in. Flo nodded with a smile.
- Well, my dear girl, how are you in this evening? - Erik closed the door behind himself with his foot and walked towards the bed.
- Me? - Lily sat up in bed, understanding nothing of the situation.
- Of course. Are you feeling better, my child?
- Yes, I am, Sir…
- Oh please. - Erik shook his head and gently placed the tray on her lap. - Call me Erik… or Papa… or anyway you want to, but don't use Sir any more with me. Please.
- You asked me to call you Sir and not to touch you unless it is absolutely necessary. - She baulked.
- Oh do forgive me for that misbehavior, please. I was in a mental state which makes me grumpy most of the time, because of the sudden situation I got into. You have to understand and must not fear me any more, I am not going to hurt you, on the contrary.
- And you… Are you angry with me… Erik…? I… I just… love Flo so much and…
- Yes I know you do. Both of you do love each other and it is adorable.
- And the baby?
- I am sure it will inherit the best traits of both of you. I can't wait to see it for the first time, so please take care of my grandchild. And this, my dear, includes of you eating all of this tasty chicken soup. I made it for you. Don't worry it isn't poisoned.
He was a bit of cautious he had scared her with that last sentence though, but it was just his usual dark sense of humor and he added it without thinking first. To his surprise though, Lily did not get scared, but laughed out at the remark.
- Now you say it, I believe. - She nodded and took a spoonful of soup and tasted it. - It is very good. - She smiled. - Thank you… thank you…
Erik put his hand on her shoulder and smiled at her reassuringly.
- Just eat all of it. And rest. And when you are feeling well enough, we shall go home to start a new life together. Fear not, child. We are here for you. You are not alone.
Those last sentences finally eased Lily's pain and fear about the future. She knew it won't be easy for her to go to a foreign country with these new people, but there were nothing to link her to London any more. She knew great adventures start like this in stories and she at last had something she feared and carved so much: acceptance of the father of the family. Now that she was loved, she was sure nothing wrong was going to happen.
