Kristina was brokenly sitting in front of the mirror of her vanity table, and examined her face with growing sadness and despair. Absently, just realizing she was still wearing her hat, she tossed it off of her head, not even caring where it will land, unlike her usual organized self, and she ran her fingers across her hair, ruining the perfect hairdo she made herself earlier to look good when she left the house. What was that for, the great hairdo now, after receiving these life changing news?

Her tears blurred her vision so she had to blink for a few times to see clearly. The calendar on the wall next to her shoulder showed 18th January 1905.

She was born on 20th August, 1860.

Until this time she did not even realize how time flew and considered herself eternally young and beautiful. She never imagined this time shall come once in a life… she was laughing, never considering a possibility of ever growing old, and it arrived so soon, too painfully soon. Looking back, she had just married Erik, yet in that coming August they will celebrate 24 years together. Time seemed to fly away in a blink of an eye, and it is irreversible.

Their oldest child is 20, and the youngest living child is 14 years old. Beau would turn 8 in the summer if he lasted for more than 2 hours…

And now there is no more hope to have another. Ever.

Looking at her reflection, she could already find obvious traces of aging which she did not even notice before. How blind she was, not seeing the, even though small, but clearly visible wrinkles on her forehead and face, under her eyes…! It was hard to see because of her light blonde hair color, but her hair started turning gray as well, and maybe it was a bit less thick and silky than it used to be in her youth. She could disguise the gray hairs though, but not the wrinkles any more. And even if she was able to cover the wrinkles by powder and various make-up, they are still there, and she knows it. There is no need to fool either herself, nor Erik. How foolish and blind she was not to notice it! And to tell the truth she needed her glasses more and more often. She was once too vain to wear them for a long time, yet she would have even needed them in her twenties, but vanity and some level of stubbornness made her unable to wear them for a long time. Now she was simply obliged to wear them if she wanted to see a thing at all, reading.

With a sigh she turned away from the mirror and stood up, crossing the room. She now clearly understood why Erik hated to see his reflection in the mirror, she now hated to see hers as well. No, she wasn't terribly ugly, but a woman who can't be mistaken for a young lady any more, and she looked just like her age. She felt herself extremely old at that moment, and the first breath of mortality clawed her heart with iron grip. Life flies away so fast.

She was now a grandmother as well - one more trace of her aging. She did not consider that thought before, as Florian became a father in an unacceptably young age, and her grandchildren would not have been arrived in another 10 years in an ideal scenario, but examining the meaning of this situation right now, she did not have the strength to comfort herself by even this thought. She was a grandmother. An old woman.

She should be happy for her children and grandchildren - but in this state of mind it was impossible to be happy for these things. Yes, she had to admit self-pity overtook her. She disliked self-pity more than anything, especially if it was Erik who did it, but she could not help but feel that way. Now she understood it wasn't always something you could control.

She curled up in the bed, softly crying in her pillow. She cried over her youth, the bitterness of the sudden strict reality, and the lost hope she was experiencing in the last few weeks. She did not know what hurt her more- disappointment or sudden realization of the irreversible time.

Erik did not understand what had happened earlier that morning. He only noticed Kristina left the house for a time and was dressed elegantly, as if she wanted to go downtown, but he did not have time to talk to her because of life going on in the house.

The twins were born 3 weeks earlier and Lily was still recovering from childbirth. Flo needed a lot of help from Mahtab, but Erik felt better if he was able to take part as well - even though he wanted to stay out of caring for babies as much as he could, now that the twins were born he simply couldn't bear to just sit in an armchair and read a newspaper when he knew his son needed help. He did not even know when Kristina arrived home, if she did at all yet, but he wasn't too much worried. She had a habit of either go to a coffee shop, or to shop for clothes or books or something either for herself or the children. Maybe she went to buy clothes for the twins? Smiling, he shook his head. His sweet Kristina always keeps spoiling everyone.

He did not even worry when he wanted to retire a bit in the afternoon to rest up for the remaining tasks of the day- which he did not mind at all. He was cheerfully whistling while pressing the doorknob of the bedroom, and while entering, but when he noticed Kristina laying on the bed, crying, his heart sank with fear and worry.

- Kristina! My love! - He rushed to her side with a worried look all over his face. E knelt down beside the bed, trying to catch her glimpse.

- Oh Erik… - She lifted up her head, drying her eyes quickly, not wanting to show any signs of crying and act as naturally as possible in this state.

- My sweet wife, what is wrong? - Two strong hands, even though older, but still so firmly supportive, held her shoulders and massaged her to calm her, just as always when she was feeling uneasy.

- Please forgive me for my weakness Erik. - She swallowed back some upcoming tears. - It is nothing.

- Erik has known you for 25 years, my darling. - He said softly - And he already knows you never cry for nothing. Please tell him, what is the matter. - He pleaded. - Erik can't help you if you don't tell him.

- You can't help me like this either. - She shook hear head.

A long silence came, while Erik was seriously and worriedly was examining his wife, who was desperately trying to compose herself.

- Still. - It was again Erik who broke the silence and his angelic voice, yet sounded a bit insecure, but tried his best to force as much bravery in it as it was humanly possible, not to give away how worried he was - still, my Kristina, if Erik can't help you, tell him, he begs you, what had hurt you so much. He wishes… he wants to… he has to know… he has the right to know…

- You are right. - She looked up to meet Erik's glance, sitting up fully in bed and gestured for Erik to take a seat beside her.

The nervous husband was thankful to be able to sit down on the bed, as he was afraid a sudden terrible news might make him fain and he was already trembling, fearing the worst.

- Erik, do you know the feeling that you prepare yourself for something good to happen and you suddenly have to terribly disappoint?

- The feeling you described, my everything, is Erik's entire life story up until he reached his 50th Birthday. - He replied softly. - Why? - He asked with a broken intonation.

- Do you remember the sweet time we had together while making peace... and after once more… in October?

- Oh… how could I forget? - Erik blushed, slightly turning away. He was smiling by the sweet memory of those times Christine was mentioning, and the one in October was provoked out by him exactly, which act did not happen in years.

- Well… I have been experiencing strange signs since that and this morning I visited a doctor to prepare for a good news…

- God in Heaven… - Erik's eyes popped wide open from fear.

- But.. - She continued not even realizing Erik's sudden mood change - but it wasn't what I was hoping for…

- So… you are not pregnant? - Erik asked cautiously.

- No. - Kristina shook her head, closing her eyes.

- Thank God! - The sudden and imprudent sigh of relief left Erik's lips, but he bit them in the next second. - Oh you fool, fool fool, what did you say…? - He whispered under his breath.

- Don't worry about that, Erik. - Kristina replied sadly. - I know you wouldn't be happy about a baby.

- It is not that. - Erik stood up nervously, kneeling down in front of Kristina and looked up in her beautiful clear blue eyes. - It is just I would not feel comfortable about you… remember your last pregnancy, it was a Hell…

- I know. - Kristina nodded.

- And… not only that my love… please understand… each and every pregnancy of yours was a genetic Russian roulette. I… I was always terribly afraid passing this face… and it happened… twice. Twice out of four children. I have to admit I was hoping… after Flo and Noel… that we are only having beautiful children like you… but when I held Beau in my hands… I knew… I knew I could not risk to have it once more… and you were in a terrible state while and after the pregnancy… just remember… we can't go through that again… you would not MAKE IT…

- With my mind I know it Erik, I know all of these. - She cried. - But… it would have been so great to have another baby in my arms…

- But… there are the twins… - Erik looked up with surprise. - You can baby them as much as you want to.

- I wished to have one more baby from you, Erik, because you are my husband and I love you.

- Oh, Kristina, I love you too, but… we already have so many children… here is Mahtab and Flo and Noel… even if we are talking about the ones we really own…

- But they are all so big now. - She answered sadly. - Noel is 14… I wanted a baby.. one more time… when I thought I was expecting our last baby… you know I wanted to give birth to one more… to finally forget about… Beau… even though I don't talk about that, not even to you, it is still haunting me sometimes, and I just felt it CAN'T be my last child… I have to make it better…

- Oh Kristina, it is nonsense. - Erik sighed with a forgiving smile and shook his head. - Just think about how old I am. It is sheer madness to have a child in my age. Even though it did not succeed now, I would suggest we not to…

- You don't have to suggest it. - Kristina sighed. - I am unable to have any more children. I am growing old.

Silence. Erik finally understood how his wife could feel right at the moment. Facing the unchangeable fact that she wasn't fertile any more and her body slowly started to grow old, and fearing that she will turn to an old woman in a few years, was understandable and he knew well that day will come once… but it did not matter to him. He loved her just as much, or even more, and he still found her desirable, despite her body changing or not… beauty did not matter to him as much as it did to others. Yet he wasn't the man of words and he did not know what to say, he wished to comfort Kristina, but she was right: he wasn't able to help her in this matter… but he could at least try…

- Kristina… - He said softly, while taking her hands in his enormously large skeletal hands, lifting them up to his malformed lips and kissing them with all the love and adoration of his heart.

Looking up, he saw her smiling through her tears, so he dared to continue speaking.

- My Kristina, however old you may grow, my eternal love for you grows with your age.

She was unable to reply for a few minutes, but stroke Erik's gray locks between her fingers. After a few minutes passed, she leaned closer to him, examining his features again, only then she saw his face did not exactly look the same either. He had more wrinkles as well on his skull- like face and maybe his eyes looked even more sunken than before. His hair completely turned gray already, and maybe he lost some of it again, yet he had so little hair even when they met.

- See, my sweet wife, you don't even need any more children other than the twins. - Erik smiled naughtily, noticing Kristina examined his features with interest. - They make you grow old in no time.

- Growing old means nothing bad. - She replied half crying and half laughing - When I can grow old by your side.

She, despite her sadness earlier, was again the carefree and young lady who hugged Erik's neck by two arms and let him carry her away from the bed, sitting down in an armchair of the bedroom, and playfully sitting her on the top of his lap.

- You are eternally young to me, Kristina Daaé. Never forget that.

- And so are you to me. - She responded with a loving smile and a kiss on Erik's chin.