A/N- Sorry, this chapter is a bit dark in places.. I know the whole story is. Next chapter should be a bit better.

Xxx

Sara immediately collapsed at his words, her breath laboured and uneven, and seconds later Nick was by her side, his arms wrapping around her slight body.

'You're lying…' she croaked out shaking against his body.

'No sweetie, I'm not' Nick whispered his hold on Sara tight 'I'm sorry' he said mumbling into her hair, his hand trying to make soothing motions on her back to ease her breathing a little.

Catherine still sat frozen on the bed, trying to get her head around everything that had happened since she had seen Sara in the bar parking lot, and trying her best to squash down the feelings of guilt that were bubbling up inside of her because of her actions a year ago. The small whisper of 'what if the lab had never blown up' in her mind. Perhaps none of this would have happened if she had been more careful that night.

Slowly Nick managed to get Sara's breathing under control, and he loosened his grip on her a little bit. 'Hey…' he whispered placing his hand under her chin so he could look at her face 'Everything's going to be alright, ok, you hear me?' Sara nodded slightly and quickly dropped her gaze back down to the floor.

'I'm sorry' Sara mumbled 'I'm sorry…I'm sorry' she tried to pull herself out of Nicks grasp, to move herself away, but Nick wouldn't let her go just yet.

'It's ok…shhh… it's ok…' Nick tried to reassure her. 'Do you want a bath or something… clean yourself up a little?'

Sara nodded weakly in response 'Do you want a hand…?' Nick asked gently and once again Sara nodded yes, unable to bring herself to say yes, to truly admit the need for help and her current weakness.

'Ok sweetie, ok… come on…' Nick said calmly pulling them both up on to their feet. Looking through into the bedroom Nick saw that Catherine was still sat on the bed, her head down, her eyes looking everywhere but at them.

Nick gently guided Sara through into the bathroom, glancing around quickly to admire the suite which was Catherine's home away from home. He noticed the slightly bloody shirt on the floor, but chose not to say anything about it in that moment in time. He gently pushed Sara towards the toilet so she could sit down, and started running that bath, pouring some salts and relaxing oils in. Leaving the water to run he crouched down in front of Sara and gently rested one hand on her knee.

He knew he still had a few questions to ask about the past few nights, that really he should be treating Sara like any other suspect in a crime or case, but right now he also knew that being a friend to her was more important. With their line of work they weren't supposed to go off gut instincts, only hard evidence, but he just couldn't bring himself to believe the evidence, there wasn't much that proved each crime either way, he just had his gut feelings. Sara hadn't raped the man, she hadn't killed that girl. He just had to prove it.

'Sara… do you want me to stay? Or should I get Catherine?'

Sara just shrugged weakly in response 'It doesn't matter' she whispered, unable to bring herself to look at the man before her.

Nick just nodded, and then reached over to turn of the taps, the bath now full with warm water. He stood and walked back towards the bedroom calling 'Cath…'

Catherine was still sat on the bed, though her tears had dried up a little by now, her shoulders were hunched forward and her gaze was fixed on the floor 'Yeah?' She asked lifting her head up slightly

'Do you think…?' Nick asked gesturing behind him. Catherine nodded slowly and stood up 'Sure' she mumbled walking towards the bathroom, although she still hadn't properly looked up at him.

'Thanks… I need to call Brass' Nick said stepping out of the way.

Stepping into the bathroom Catherine put on a brave face and walked over to Sara, kneeling down like Nick had done moments ago she placed her hand over Sara's.

'Come on, let's get you in the bath…' She gently tugged on Sara's hand, pulling her up and towards the tub. When they got close enough Catherine reached down with her spare hand to undo the loose knot in the robe Sara was wearing.

Neither woman said anything else whilst Sara got in, and Catherine kept her gaze averted as best as she could, and then crouched down at the side of the tub.

'Are you ok?' Catherine asked at last, her hand swirling in the water, her gaze watching the ripples, but occasionally looking up at Sara's face, trying to gloss over the scars and marks on her body.

'Did you know that, sometimes, Gambling isn't about winning… it's about breaking even.' Sara replied coldly. Catherine's brow furrowed in confusion, of all the answers she had expected, this wasn't even in the top 100, and she was about to say as much, when it dawned on her that it was just Sara's way of starting up a conversation with which she was uncomfortable, or when she was about to confess something.

'No, I didn't know that' Catherine said, a small smile on her face, she reached for a flannel, soaked it, and then started to gently rub it across the top of Sara's chest. It seemed that Sara talked a little more, and was slightly more at ease when there was physical contact, although Catherine still wasn't sure exactly Sara how she had felt, and was now feeling, about there earlier activities.

Sara moved her hand to cover Catherine's, her gaze looking briefly at their hands, before turning and looking towards the wall.

'Have you ever been raped?' Sara asked quietly.

'Yeah…' Catherine replied quietly

'Eddie?'

'Yeah'

'How many times?' Sara asked turning her head ever so slightly, but still unable to bring herself to look at Catherine.

'3' came the whispered reply, as she squeezed the brunette's hand. Sara nodded slightly and moved her hand so their fingers were once again linked.

'How many people have you slept with?' Sara asked her gaze fixed on their hands. She was vaguely aware that Nick was stood hovering in the doorway, but she didn't really care. It would be easier to say this only once. Catherine was aware of Nick's presence as well, and was reluctant to answer anymore of Sara's questions, but she once again recognised that in order for Sara to open up, she would have to open up too.

'Umm… well, off the top of my head… I guess… 12? Maybe… 12.5' she chuckled slightly

Sara frowned, slightly confused by the answer 'How can you sleep with half a person?'

'Well… I was interrupted before…'

'Oh…' Sara blushed slightly, and Nick caught it and frowned, and then it clicked into place for him, and he couldn't help but choke a little. Catherine and Sara glanced up briefly to look at him, and he tried his best to look as if he hadn't heard anything.

'It's ok Nick… you probably would have found out eventually…' Catherine sighed before turning back to look at Sara, her hand reaching up to caress Sara's cheek lightly, a small smile playing across her lips as Sara leant into the touch.

'Do you two want me to leave…' Nick asked quietly. Catherine looked at Sara, silently letting her know that it was her call.

'Stay…'

Nick nodded, and slid down the door frame so he was sitting on the floor.

'23' Sara said eventually, her voice so quiet that at first no one realised she had spoken.

'I've been raped 23 times'

'I'm sorry…' Catherine whispered, a lump in her throat, whilst Nick sat there fists clenching and unclenching in anger. He knew that Sara had been abused at least once in her past, but he had never known it was this bad.

Sara just shrugged, 'It's ok…not your fault.' Sara slid quickly under the water, submerging her face, allowing her hair to soak, after a few seconds the came back up.

'Can you wash my hair…please?'

'Sure Sweetie' Catherine smiled, reaching for a bottle of shampoo, she poured some out, as Sara adjusted herself in the bath tub, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs. As Catherine began to wash her hair, Sara relaxed a little, and started to talk.

'I've been trying to break even forever… since I realised I could.' She took a deep breath 'Since I realised I could have a say over who touches my body. I thought… perhaps, if I could sleep with more people than the number of times I've been raped, then I would start to feel better… '

Catherine paused, unsure of what to say, and Nick just sat there quietly.

'I broke even once… number 13.' Sara closed her eyes, and wrapped her arms around her legs a little tighter, and all Catherine could do was continue massaging the shampoo into Sara's hair.

'Could you believe that I made it to 13 by the time I was 27? And that was just the people I chose to be with… that number doesn't include the handful of people who abused me.'

Sara let her arms fall away from her knees, as she slide herself down once more into the tub to rinse away the suds in her hair. For a long moment, she doesn't resurface, and just as Catherine is about to pull her back up, she lifts her body out of the water.

'The 14th raped me in a club toilet… I was so drunk that night. Even as a CSI, I knew I couldn't prove it, and quiet honestly… I didn't want anyone to know. A few days later I got the call from Grissom, about Holly, about Warrick, and so I came here, happy to forget what had happened. I carried on sleeping around, hoping to get past that number, you know, to break even… ' With this Sara suddenly broke down, tears falling from her face. Where she had seemed slightly too calm before in her admissions, now she had lost it. Leaning over Catherine pulled her to her chest, wrapping the younger women in a hug, not caring that she would get damp.

'Nick… help me get her out…'

Nick stood and grabbed a towel from the radiator, stepping towards them, as Catherine stood up from the floor, pulling Sara up with her. Nick draped the towel around Sara's body, and then gently picked her up and out of the tub, and carefully carried her to the bed.

Lying Sara down on to the bed, Nick carefully moved the covers, and then placed them over Sara. Moments later Catherine stepped into the room, slipping off her wet top, she grabbed a second robe and pulled it on as quickly as she could.

Sara was lying on her side, tears streaming down her face, her eyes closed and her breathing heavy. Nick crouched down beside her, and gently ran his hand through her damp hair, as Catherine made the decision to get in the bed, under the cover with Sara, not caring how it might look to Nick right now, only knowing that she couldn't leave Sara alone.

Catherine slid herself closer to Sara, and tentatively placed an arm over Sara's side, her fingers making small motions on her arm, trying to soothe the younger women. Sara eased herself slightly into Catherine's hold, her breathing evening out slightly.

'I should let you get some sleep…' Nick said quietly his hand still in Sara's hair.

Sara closed her eyes tighter, and her body relaxed a little more, Catherine's presence soothing her, and the movement of her fingers distracting her.

Nick stood up, placing a kiss on Sara's forehead, and made to step away from the bed, but then Sara's hand caught his, and he once again crouched down

'Stay…' she whispered sleepily, clearly exhausted both emotional and physically from everything she had been through in the past couple of days.

Nick looked at Catherine, trying to read what she thought of the idea without saying anything, and she gently nodded, letting him know that she thought it would be a good idea if he listened to Sara's request.

'Ok…' Nick whispered quietly, trying to make himself more comfortable on the floor without letting go of Sara's hand.

No one said anything for about five minutes, Sara's breathing so even, that they both thought she had fallen asleep, so they were both a little startled when they heard Sara speak.

'How far along?'

Nick didn't have to ask what she meant by that question, but was a little surprised that she didn't know the answer herself, that she hadn't already known.

'10 weeks sweetie' Nick whispered, running his thumb over the back of Sara's hand gently.

'Déjà vu' Sara whispered, moments before she fall asleep.