Nick stood under the shower, mind all over the place, still coming down from the euphoric high. Washing himself down, he couldn't help the groan that escaped him as the water sprayed over his sensitive sex, trying his best to shrug it off, he closed his mind as best he could, trying to ignore the sounds he could hear coming from the bed. 10 minutes later, he shut the water off, dried off with a towel, and then quietly stepped into the room. He observed the two woman for a moment, Catherine was now going down on Sara, and Sara, eyes clamped shut, was withering in delight. Gathering his clothes, and pulling them on, he watched a moment longer, before storming out the room, almost in disgust with what had just happened, and fraught with confusion about the whole situation and Sara's mental frame of mind. It was only as the door slammed behind him that Catherine reluctantly stopped her motions, and Sara came to her senses.
Catherine pulled away from Sara, completely unsure of what to do now, whilst Sara herself looked like a deer in the headlights. As Catherine was about to bolt from the bed, an action which echoed Sara's hours ago, Sara grasped her arm, and pulled the woman up and kissed her gently for a moment, before rolling to her side, and pulling the covers over them both.
After a minute of silence, Catherine loosely holding Sara, the brunette began to speak
'Do you really think I need therapy?' She whispered, her voice timid, her fingers playing with Catherine's hand.
Catherine's breath hitched for a moment, not sure how to start such a conversation after the intimacy they had shared. 'Maybe… I think you need to get sober… and if therapy helps… first though, you need to think about this…' she moved her hand so it was lay flat on Sara's stomach, and gently caressed it, the knowledge of a baby inside causing many different emotions to rush through her, all confusing, she could only imagine how Sara could be feeling herself.
Almost as quickly as Catherine had placed her hand there, Sara had moved it away again, and didn't speak again.
'Sara?' Catherine whispered after five minutes
'Yeah?' Sara mumbled back
'How are you feeling?'
Sara just shrugged, leaning a little more into Catherine's arms 'I don't know where to even start with that one Cat… why don't you ask me something else… I'll answer if I can…'
In response Catherine placed a kiss on the younger women's shoulder, and with lips still pressed on the soft skin, she asked 'Do you regret this… sleeping with Nick and I?'
'Never' came her instant reply
'What happens now?' Catherine asked placing another kiss on her shoulder.
'I don't know… I guess, we go to the hospital… I don't know what Nick wants, what you want… what I need, or deserve… I have a lot of thinking to do…' Sara said as confidently as she could, although her voice was very quiet, her fingers once again playing with Catherine's
'Do you want this to happen again?' Catherine asked, her voice so low Sara almost didn't hear.
'No' came Sara's firm reply.
'Oh…' Catherine mumbled, pulling away slightly.
Sara tightened her hold on Catherine's hand 'I mean, I don't want to sleep with You AND Nick again, or just Nick… I think… I think, I'd be happy with just You… But it's complicated Cat… I'm Pregnant… and…. Well… Nick's probably right… I do…. I… I …' Sara started stammering, finding it difficult to find the right words, another kiss on her shoulder gave her a little more courage 'I do have a problem with alcohol… and, I may not have killed that girl, but I have a lot of issues, a lot of baggage… and I've been accused of raping someone… I don't know if I did or not… I mean….' Sara started stuttering again 'I… I don't… I … I didn't… did I? I can't remember too much… '
'Shhh….' Catherine whispered 'Shhhh… One thing at a time ok… one thing at a time…'
Sara just nodded, her fingers slowing. Again the room fall quiet, Sara's breathing evening out, nearing sleep.
A thought was nagging at Catherine's mind though, and she wasn't sure how to voice it, if now was even the time to voice it. Closing her eyes, she figured it could wait, but before sleep could claim her, there was a loud and insistent knocking at the door.
Grumbling she reluctantly rolled out of bed, slipped into a dressing gown, and went to the door, Sara now fast asleep.
Xxx
Nick stood outside the hotel room, happy with the news he had just gotten from Brass, but also nervous to see the two women he had just been so intimate with. Putting on a professional front, he waited for the door to be answered.
Catherine tightened the robe before opening the door, and was a little unsure of how to respond too seeing Nick stood before her
'Nick…' she greeted, stepping aside and opening the door wider so he could walk into the room
'It's ok… I'm not stopping… I've just got off the phone with Brass… he'd been trying to reach one of us for a while… anyway, since learning about Roses' death being an accident, Mr Hornby has since withdrawn his accusation of Sara raping him, claiming he did it out of spite, as Rose was his wife… it's a little complicated, but the upshot of it is, Sara has done nothing wrong, no charges will be made.' Nick paused her 'Umm… Brass did see the receipts from the bar… and the club… and Sara's blood alcohol level though… he wants to see Sara as soon as possible… It's kinda getting a little hard now to keep this away from too many prying eyes…' he ran his hands through his hair 'Look… if Ecklie gets a hold of this… or Grissom… it won't matter how innocent or not Sara is, it could end her job and her career.. I… I think the best thing would be for Sara to come clean to at least Grissom directly, before he hears it from one of us or see's test results…'
'I know…' Catherine agreed, leaning against the door, looking down at the floor.
'Look… Nick… about…' she gestured behind herself to the bed
'It's ok… it happened… it was good at the time, but, now we move on, and just help Sara… we can't pretend it didn't happen, but just be clear, it won't happen again…' Nick said also looking at his feet.
'Sara's a good person, who's gone through hell and back, she doesn't need this kind of complication in her life Catherine, she's so fragile right now, I don't think a relationship or a… a buddy… is the best idea for her right now… she needs a friend, not more of… this…' he said gesturing to the bed himself.
Before Catherine could even respond, Nick had turned and walked away, head hung low.
Xxxxx
When Sara woke up, Catherine was dressed and sat at her computer. Pulling herself out of bed, Sara jumped into the shower, emerging clean and wrapped in a towel 10 minutes later, she slowly walked over to Catherine, and waited for the woman to acknowledge her, when the older woman still hadn't looked up, Sara cleared her throat.
'Yes?' Catherine asked not looking up from her computer, Nicks parting words to her battling in her head with her desire to look after Sara, and to explore more of the chemistry between them, even if it was only sexual.
'I need some clean clothes… please…; Sara said quietly a tinge of sadness in her voice, as she walked away and slumped down on to the sofa in the room.
'Oh… of course…' Catherine got up and started to look through her wardrobe for something that would fit Sara.
'Thanks' Sara mumbled taking the clothes from her, and walking into the bathroom.
When she emerged again, dressed in unfamiliar clothes, she perched on the edge of the sofa again, but now reluctant to get to comfortable, both physically and mentally.
'Catherine?' Sara asked after a while
'Yeah?' Catherine replied, pausing in her typing at the computer
'Can you take me to the hospital… please…'
Catherine couldn't help but smile a little 'Yes… of course… whenever you're ready…'
Xxxx
As they approached the hospital, Sara grew a little more nervous, and began to shake slightly, noticing this, Catherine pulled over
'Sara… Sara… what's wrong…'
'I…I….' tears began to fall down Sara's face 'I…. I….'
Reaching over, Catherine lightly placed her hand on Sara's shoulder, which had quickly become one of her favourite places on the brunette's body.
'It's ok Sara, just breathe, just breathe…'
Sara nodded slowly, eyes clamped shut 'I… I have the worst hangover… I'm nervous as hell… and… and I really really need a drink right now… I…I… how long …how long has it been since I last drank Cat?' she whispered, embarrassed.
'I…' Catherine frowned, confused, angry, concerned 'I don't know… I guess about 10 hours…'
'Oh…' Sara wiped frantically at the tears on her face 'Feels longer… the… the only time I don't drink is when I'm working… but… lately… lately I've been drinking as soon as I've finished work… and only stopped 4 hours before, so I can drive… I…'
Sara began to break down, angry at herself, angry that Catherine had to see her this way.
'I…' Catherine gently rubbed her shoulder, not daring herself to speak, not wanting to interrupt.
'I…after 9 hours, I get shaky… after 11, I get a headache….12, dizzy…. 15 I start to feel irritable… I don't know what it feels like anymore to go more than 30 hours without a drink…normally only a double shift or big case keeps me from the bottle… Nick was right. I'm an alcoholic… I've known for a while… I just… I never had a reason to acknowledge it… I… I was always so careful to not let it interfere with work, with my ability to drive, to process… to work a case… but now… now I feel embarrassed, and ashamed, vulnerable… scared… I've spent all this time, drinking… and… my baby… oh god Cat!' with this Sara started to scream hysterically 'My baby! What have I done! My baby…. My baby… My baby!'
