Ai Hod Yu In

Chapter 14

Lexa had left a long time ago, and now Clarke once again stood looking out at the city. There was not much else to do in Polis, at least not as a prisoner here. Madi had only just woken from a nap, and it was nice to get a chance for her to see the world. She heard footsteps, and she turned and saw Roan.

"Well, if it isn't the Prince of Azgeda." she called down to him.

"If it isn't Wanheda and her child of death. Don't be fooled. I'm a prisoner here, same as you." he responded, making his way up the rest of the steps to the balcony she stood at with Madi.

"You're the reason I'm a prisoner here."

"Relax, Wanheda. I'm here to help you."

"Sure you are." she half laughed.

"The commander promised to lift my banishment if I delivered you safely. She broke our deal. I'm willing to strike a new one with you, so that we can both go home."

"I'm already going home." He moved a little closer to her, lowering his voice a bit.

"Then you won't have a chance to get what you really want." He moved closer still, and she finally turned to face him.

"What would you know about what I want?" she asked him.

"I saw the look on your face when I took that hood off. You want revenge." He certainly had her attention now. She looked between him and the guards who shadowed her when she left her room a few times, leaning in even closer to Roan.

"You want to kill her?" he nodded, "So kill her. I have a kid to think about. I can't take that kind of risk, not with Madi."

"You can get close, I can't. You'll find a knife under your bed when you return to your room. I've already bought enough of the guards to get you out of here, both of you. If you do this, Azgeda will take control of the coalition. And you'll find a strong and grateful ally in the Ice Queen." his words made her wary. She'd heard stories of the Ice Queen, and she didn't seem like the type of person she should trust.

"And why should I trust her? From what I hear, she's worse than Lexa."

"That's because you've been talking to Lexa. Look. We're all trying to do what's right for our people. This is what's right for yours. This is what's right for your daughter, Madi was it?"

"The Ice Queen would be an ally to my people, to Madi?" she asked him. He nodded, and she did as well.

As soon as Clarke returned to her room, she checked under her bed. Just as Roan had said, there was a knife there. Clarke held onto it for a moment, staring down at it and sitting herself on the bed. Was she really going to continue to set this example for Madi? If she did this, it would not be about survival. If she was being honest with herself, she wasn't even sure it would be about protecting Madi. No, this act would be an act of vengeance. It would be something she could not come back from.

She heard the door opening, and she hid the blade on the side of her clothes. Lexa strolled in, her head raised as usual. She didn't know that Clarke was probably going to kill her today. Clarke turned opposite her, quickly ensuring that Lexa couldn't see her face.

"You wanted to see me. I'm here." Lexa told her. Clarke debated for a moment, trying to figure out if this was really what she should be doing. Her baby was in a cradle in the corner, about to witness her adoptive mother kill yet another person. But Clarke… Lexa had destroyed the old Clarke. Madi had restored a lot of her humanity, but this woman had cost her too much. The call of death was stronger than the cry of her own child. She would always try and make up for what she was about to do, but she knew deep down that there was no making up for what she was going to do, "Clarke."

Clarke turned around, lunging at Lexa with the knife. She collided with Lexa with a soft thud, going straight for the throat. She was ready to do this, ready to embrace the monster all over again.

And yet Madi was calling her back to herself. Her sleeping angel had long since become a moral compass for her. A reminder to herself that she had to do better. She looked into Lexa's eyes, and she wasn't scared. She even seemed to understand, if that was possible.

"I'm sorry," Lexa whispered to her. That was it. Clarke just about started crying just from hearing it. She pushed away from Lexa, bringing herself back, instead, to Madi. She couldn't do it. She dropped the knife to the floor, "I never meant to turn you into this. You're free to go. Your mother is here. I'll have you both escorted to her. You can pack your things quickly."

"Wait." Clarke turned around, and Lexa was already halfway to the door, "I have a better idea.

"And what is that?"

"We each get something we want. I bow to you, and you protect my people. I also need you to do something else for me, though," Clarke finally saw what was right in front of her from the beginning. She'd just been too caught up in her anger and hatred to see it.

"What do you need me to do?" Lexa asked, taking a step closer.

"I know how your people choose their commanders. I also know your people would never accept a Skaikru commander. In return for us joining your coalition, I ask that any nightbloods from Skaikru be ignored completely. I ask that nightbloods from Skaikru be left where they are. The other clans lead, and we simply get their protection. We never take that place in front of them all," Clarke proposed.

"Why is this so important to you that you choose to bring it up now, as a bargaining chip?" Lexa asked her. Clarke flashed back to Mount Weather, back to the betrayal that had led to hundreds of deaths. This one was even higher stakes than that. This one had Madi's life on the line instead.

"I want the death of my people to end" she remembered Finn's 'thanks, princess,' her friends screaming as they died, and burying Wells just after getting him back, "and the only way to do that is by not having conflicts with the other clans."

It was a good lie that she told. Just one of the many that had led her here. For Madi, she'd do anything though. Anything.