Hello everyone and welcome!
Finally I could update, I mentioned I've been passing through and awful block and I'm still fighting against it but I'm getting to my normal self. Lol!
I hope you like this chapter! I read all the reviews and Pms you send me regarding the ideas and suggestions I wrote on the second author's note, You gave me a lot of great ideas and I think I have enough material to finish this story. Many people said that they didn't want Jack to come back but a lot of others said that they want him to come back and make justice, I agree with the last ones, the family deserves justice and closure and I hope you like this idea.
In other words I included the therapy, Jane and Angela's talk take place in this chapter, though it's a bit different that what I expected but I thought it was a good idea to make it this way. I'm planing to use a lot of the suggestions you send me! next chapter will talk about a few flashbacks and the Ainsworths are coming back!
I hope you know that I'm really grateful with everyone for supporting me! thank you for taking a bit of your time and write to me, I love it!
I hope you enjoy this chapter, if there's anything on your mind please let me know. Every suggestion, comment, review or question is very welcome!
If there's any grammar mistake, please let me know!
B. M. Adams
Xoxo...
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from R&I, just the plot and Ocs
Monday came and everyone started their week as usual. Maura was on her office checking her email when she spotted a written piece of paper on her desk. The number of a therapist Maura met a few years ago in a forensic psychology conference. Recently Kathy's nightmares became more frequent and intense, almost being night terrors. After a long conversation that same morning, Jane and she agreed to take the girl to see a therapist. They we capable of provide her with reassurance and tons of love but there were a few things that a professional will be able to help her with and find de core of the dreams and how to cope with them. Maura was indeed taking her little girl to a therapist but she realized that she needed it too, just like the whole family did. They all passed through a traumatic event and needed and outlet and help to realize the stress, the effect of those experiences and cope with the vast range of feelings they were all feeling.
She took her phone and dialed the number written on the paper "Hello, Dr. Michelle Brennan's office" the receptionist answered.
"Hello, this is Dr. Maura Isles. May I speak with Dr. Brennan please?" Maura asked.
"I'll put you on hold for a few seconds" she answered politely.
"Sure, Thank you" Maura said and the receptionist went to call the Dr.
And not much after Dr. Brennan answered the phone "Hello, Maura. Nice to hear from you" The woman said.
"Hello, Michelle, it is my pleasure" Maura said, not knowing how to continue with the conversation.
"So, what can I do for you, Maura" Michelle asked politely.
Maura hesitated for a second "I…Me and my family, we've had a rough time lately and I really need to talk to you" she said her voice shaky and nervous.
Michelle sensed the worry and nerves on the M.E's voice "Ok, Maura" she said and posed for a few second checking her agenda to see if there was a vacant, she saw a free spot that same afternoon "Today at 6 pm I have a vacant" she said and continued "Maura, I can tell you are worried, calm down, ok? We'll figure it out" she said, trying to calm the blonde down.
Maura inhale deeply "Thanks, Michelle. See you there" she said and said her goodbyes as well as the therapist and went back to her work.
Not much after Jane came into Maura's office "Hi, babe" The M.E. Greeted her girlfriend, pecking her lips "What brings you down here, honey?" she asked; she had already sent the lab result to the bullpen with Susie.
Jane hesitated for a few seconds before see could utter any word "I want to talk to my mother…but I don't know if I can" she said with a defeated tone on her voice.
Maura looked compassionated at her. She let out a small smile and guided Jane and herself to sit on the couch. "Honey, that is not something easy to talk about" Maura said, her eyes looking lovingly into the brunette's eyes.
Jane huffed frustrated "I'm sure this is taking the best out of me" she let out a groan and hid her face on her hands, leaning further on the couch.
The M.E. placed her hand on the detective's thighs "Baby, look at me please" she coaxed Jane. The brunette straightened a little and looked at Maura "We all had passed through traumatic events and sometimes we need help with those feelings" she explained, Jane kept on looking at her confused, not understanding what her girlfriend was referring to. "I called a therapist today, a friend of mine, actually. We talk about taking Kathy to therapy this morning but after a while I thought that we all passed through the same, in different ways, but the same nonetheless. So, I called her and schedule a session with her…for me and I think we all need a few session to sort thing out" she finished.
Jane furrowed her brow confused and looked quizzically at the blonde. Maura grabbed Jane's hands "I realized that I've lived in fear the last months, fear of… him coming back, fear of failed once again, to Kathy… to you" she explained and continued "We all need to know how to cope with our own feelings" she finished.
Jane's expression softened and looked compassionated at her girlfriend in front of her "Maura, you never failed anyone. What you passed through was something no one should passed through. You did what you had to do" she paused her eyes started to fill with tears "Maybe you regret your choices, we all do at some point, but we have to learn to leave them behind. And for the record, you have never failed me"
They hugged "If this is what you need, I'll be by your side every single step of the way" Jane said when they separated. Making Maura more emotional than she already was "And talking about taking steps, I think I'll talk to my Ma tonight, when you come back from your appointment…I kind of need you there" Jane exclaimed finally.
The blonde M.E. eye's spoke of so much love for the brunette in that moment that without words she said it all, she hugged her and then placed a kiss on her lips, pouring all their feeling and love in it. "I'll always be by your side" she finished.
Jane wiped a tear away from her cheek "Me too, baby, But enough mushiness for today" she joked, making Maura laugh, inevitably shaking her head softly.
"So, I'll pick Kathy up and take her home. You just concentrate on yourself. Ok... I know you tent to put everyone first but try to put yourself first just for today, yes?" Jane said. Maura nodded "I'll try" she simply answered.
"Well, I need to head back upstairs, Korsak found a lead" Jane said checking her phone, saying goodbye with a kiss "see you. I love you" she left towards the elevators, leaving Maura with a comfortable sense of support, reassurance and security she wasn't used to have, for this woman had changed her life in every single sense.
After she spent the day doing awfully boring paper work, the brunette texted her "I'm going to pick Kathy up, I love you"
Maura's phone buzzed, she looked at the screen and noticed the brunette's text, she opened it and read it with a beaming smile on her face "perfect, thank you, baby. Give her a kiss from mommy, please" she texted back.
Within a few second another text came "I'll sure do, love you" Jane wrote. Maura answered with an 'I love you' and started to gather her thing up, cleaning her desk and making her way towards the parking lot. She drove for approximately twenty minutes when she arrived to the therapist office.
Letting out a soft sigh, she stepped out of her car and went in, she found the place empty except for a secretariat at the front desk "Hello, I'm Maura Isles, I have an appointment" she said. The young woman behind the desk check the list of patient and found her name "I'll let Dr. Brennan know you are here" she said, inviting the blonde to take a seat while she announced her. A few minutes passed before she entered into the office.
"Hello, Maura" she said, standing up from her chair and greeting the blonde who greeted the redhead as well.
The therapist sat on her chair and Maura sat on the couch in front of her "Thanks for receiving me with such a short notice" Maura apologist
"No need to thank me" she polity said "So, Maura, you told me you and your family passed through some bumps lately, can you tell me a bit more, please" she asked
Maura swallowed the lump that had form in her throat due to her nerves "Mmm… A few years ago I got pregnant, the father and I got married not much after and everything went down nonstop from there" she said and paused, needing some air to continue. "He left his job on Seattle to come here and live together, after that he couldn't find a steady job and gave up to alcohol. He started to be violent… with me and my daughter" she stopped and gathered some strength knowing that the hardest part was ahead "One night, he overheard a conversation with my actual girlfriend and he got rageful, taking it on me. He almost killed me" she explained.
"Ok, it is a lot to wrap your head around, Maura. So, let's go a little bit further back, the beginning of your relationship with… the man in question" she said while making some notes on her notepad.
"He was a gentleman, nice, sweet, caring…" she said but stopped, she grabbed the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes for a second, preventing her tears to fall. "I thought he was the right person. I was so wrong" the blonde finished.
The redhead wrote something down and moved on to the next question "When did you notice a change in him?"
"Not much after we got married, he started to look for jobs, but never could find any. He was about to become the head coordinator of the science depart of the University of Washington" Maura let a little laugh "He thought he was too good for any other job after that"
"I see, so after that I assume that he started to drink" she said and Maura nodded affirmatively. "Can you tell me something else, like when he started to become violent?" she asked.
Maura thought for a second her answer "at first he just passed out on the couch and that went on for a while until became the Chief Medical examiner of the commonwealth, after that he started to yell at me and at Kathy, my daughter. And after that things worsen abruptly"
One again she wrote somethings on the notepad "Ok, let's move on to something better, when did you and girlfriends concretized you relationship?"
"We've always been very close friends but there was always something more. We both hide our feeling for a long time until… the whole incident happened. At the hospital, after my final checkup she entered in the room and we couldn't hide it anymore" smiled Maura, remembering that bright moment that light up the darkness she was sunken in.
"That's good" she said smiling a little smile "And what about her, how is she doing?
"She really protective of Kathy and I, she has always been. I have to say that my daughter and Jane are the best things that ever happened in my life" Maura said heartfeltly "But she's passing through some rough times on her own"
"What do you mean?" the therapist asked curiously.
Maura sighed deeply "When she was a teenager she got pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption, she never saw the baby again until my daughter and Jane's daughter's daughter became friends and well, the resemblance between the both of them is undeniable" the blonde explained.
Michelle kept on writing and asked again "You mentioned Maura that Kathy was passing through a rough time too, what's going on with her?"
Maura swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat due to remembering her daughter's fears and emotional pain she was in. the M.E. rubbed her forehead frustrated "She saw and suffer all her father did to me, he yell at her and sometimes he tried to beat her up too, of course, I never let him touch a single hair of hers" she said rageful.
The continued to speak for a while more and when Dr. Brennan finished writing something down after the last question she placed the notepad on the coffee table in front of her and took her glasses off, putting them on the coffee table as well "Maura the situation is hard, you all have some type of PTSD, and all your feeling have a reason, I think you all need individual session and group session as well" the redhead aid and continued "I want you know what I wrote this whole time. Take the notepad" she ordered and Maura did as she was told.
Maura opened it and found words written in it. After she read them she asked Michelle "What do these words mean?"
"Can you please read them out loud, please? She calmly asked
Maura obeyed and started to recite the words "Guilt, resentment, anger, pain, loss, shame hopelessness, anxiety, sadness, fear, braveness, passion, happiness, love, compassion, empathy…" she was interrupted by the doctor.
"I noticed all of those feeling while you were talking. The first rows are those feeling you might felt when you were living with him, feelings that might had made you feel unworthy of help and love. Abusers tent to take their victims' spirit down. He did that to you, but fortunate you had Jane and Kathy to help with that. And the last rows are feelings you recover when you left him and showed Jane your feelings for her, those are feeling for your daughter, family, for your life. And that what I want you concentrate" she explained.
Maura took a tissue from the box on the on the coffee table, to wipe the tears that were falling down her eyes. "This might be hard to believe now, but we'll get there" she finished.
A few minutes after they said their goodbyes and went out of the office, each other went to their respective homes. Maura left the place with a new sense of bliss and hope; she finally thought that that awful chapter of her life was behind.
Maura arrived home at 8:23, just in time to tuck Kathy into bed. She opened the door and Kathy immediately ran to her arms "Mommy! You're home" the little girl squealed happily. Maura face lighted up when she saw the little girl; she picked her up; she hugged her a little too long and a little more tightly than usual. "I love, baby girl, more than you could ever know" she whispered on her daughter's ear.
"I love you too, mommy" the girl answered.
The older blonde put the girl on the floor and told her to brush her teeth and that she'll be up in a minute to tuck her in and read a book with her. The girl did as ordered and ran upstairs while Maura greeted her girlfriend.
"Hello, gorgeous" the brunette said, standing up from the couch. She held her hand as she got closer to the blonde and kissed her when she could reach her lips.
"Hi, baby" Maura said after they separated from their chaste but passionate kiss.
Maura went to the kitchen and prepared herself a cup of tea "I save you some lasagna my Ma made" she said to the blonde
"Thanks, honey, but I'm not exactly hungry?" she excused.
Jane noticed her fatigue "So, how did the session go?" she asked carefully.
Maura sighed while she was stirring her tea "pretty well" she said and Jane remained expectant, waiting for her to say anything else. Maura noticed and said after "but it's too soon to say anything conclusive or anything at all. We just talk about what brought me to go to therapy and what brought me to think Kathy needed it" she explained.
"Well, I hope that I could help you both" the Detective said encouragingly.
"I think it will" she said, sipping from her steamy hot cup of tea "And did you talk to your mother?" Maura asked.
Jane hesitated for a second and rubbed her forehead, leaning onto the kitchen counter "Yep, I told her to come tonight at 9" she said.
"Ok, that's perfect" she said, drinking the last of her tea "I'll tuck Kathy in and I'll be right back" and right after Maura disappeared, walking upstairs.
Maura went up the stairs and found Kathy waiting for her on her bed with a book on her lap, open on the first page. The blonde smiled sweetly and got comfortable on one side of the bed and took the book, reading the first sentence "Once upon a time in Spain, there was a little bull and his name was Ferdinand…" She read story and when she finished it, the little blonde by her side was fast asleep; the older woman carefully got out of the bed and placed the book on the shelf. Then she pulled the cover up to the little girl's chin and placed a sweet kiss on her forehead "Good night, baby girl" she whispered, dimmed the lights and closed the door behind her.
When she reached the ground floor the doorbell rang, she looked at Jane and the brunette looked at her, she nervously took a deep breath and walk to the door. She opened it "Hi, Ma" she tried to say as normally as possible.
"Hello, honey" she older brunette said, greeting her daughter and right after she did the same with Maura. "So, what did you need to talk with me, Janie?" she asked.
Jane looked at Maura "Have a seat, Mom" she said and grabbed Maura's hand, taking her to the couch.
"Ok, Jane. What's going on?" Angela said worriedly.
"Mom, I…Hmm… We found…" she tried to explained unsuccessfully.
Silence filled the room for a few seconds. Angela noticed the restlessness on Jane's mannerisms and sighed deeply "Honey, do this have anything to do with the woman that came today to the café? Angela said.
Both Jane and Maura looked at each other confused and surprised "Wha-What woman?" Jane asked nervously
"The one that looks just like you" Angela said matter-of-factly
Jane's ayes went wide and her nerves grew bigger rapidly just as the grip on Maura's hand grew tighter "Mom, I…" she tried to say but was cut off by her mother.
"I think I know where you are heading to, you're going to say that you think that she's the baby you gave up for adoption 24 years ago" she began "She might be, but before you say anything I want to say how sorry I'm" she said, leaving Jane and Maura speechless and puzzled "I want you to know the awful mistake we did. We pushed you to do something you weren't sure of, you were the one making that decision and we meddling in that decision anyways. There are no words to express how much I want to take all back let you take the wheel of your own life. You were a kid, yes, but you were also a mature kid who could have made that call on your own" she said heartfeltly. She grabbed the hands of her daughter and looked her directly into her shimmering, dark eyes "I'm really sorry for put you through all this pain" Angela finished, at the verge of tears.
Jane's button lip quivered and looked at Maura for reassurance. The blonde smiled at her and invited her to speak "Mom, this is not your fault. Yes, maybe you and Pop were too severe on me but I understand that you were hurt and disappointed on me too. I just wanted to tell you because she might suspect something and I didn't want you to find about this whole thing this way" Jane said regretfully.
Angela let a tear fall and hugged Jane "What if she is, Mom? What is she is my… my daughter" Jane said scared.
Angela smiled at her "We, all together, figure that out when the time comes, for now let it take its course and try to come to terms with yourself, you need to clear your mind and put yourself at ease, relay on your family" she advised.
"Thanks, Ma" Jane said and hugged. "There's another thing, Ma" Jane said
"What is it, Honey?" Angela asked.
"She has a daughter" Jane smiled apologetically.
Angela's eyes went wide "Wow, that's a surprise. Well, I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree" she joked and patted her daughter's knees.
"Oh! Mom, why are you like this?" Jane said laughing and so did Maura.
"Oh! God, I have another granddaughter, I'm getting old" she said after as they continue to laugh
"So, tell me, what are their names?" Angela asked curiously.
"Her name is Claire and her daughter's name is Melissa, she actually is Kathy's best friend" Jane explained.
Angela huffed "Ok, if this is not fate, I don't know what it is…"
They talked for a while more and after a nice night chatting Angela went to her home and both Jane and Maura went through their night routines as usual.
"It went well after all honey" Maura said while she applied some lotion on her legs.
"It did, baby, it did" the brunette answered with a beaming smile on her face"
Maura smiled and went to the bed were Jane was "I told you" she kissed her and cuddling closer they said their goodnights and went to sleep peacefully.
He was lurking in the surroundings, waiting for the perfect moment to put his plan on action. She made his life a mess, so he'll do de same with hers.
