Ai Hod Yu In

Chapter 33

Clarke glanced over at Murphy for a moment. He was laying down on the bed, right next to the blood stain that had come from Lexa. She had to wince, remembering Lexa's pale pain filled face. She had been a light, but now she was gone. Gone from the world that she had dedicated herself so much to.

Titus had taken Lexa and left the three of them here. He'd said nothing more to them, and Clarke hadn't really wanted to see him anymore anyways. Whether he'd meant to or not, he was the reason Lexa was dead. He was the reason that an amazing leader was gone from the world.

Madi had been hard to calm down from the absolute chaos that had happened. She was clingier than normal, which Clarke could honestly say she had no objection to. At the moment, the thought of putting the girl down was unthinkable. She was a bit afraid that if she did, the baby too would disappear.

She didn't know how she could do this. Lexa had meant so much to her, even if their past had some dark spots in it. They had come so far. How could she come back from that again? She supposed she would probably never turn herself over to a relationship again, not when it undoubtedly meant that person would end up dying on her. She didn't need anyone but Madi in her little family.

"So where'd you get the kid?" Murphy finally asked her after what felt like hours, dragging her out of her mood. Clarke rolled her eyes, trying to make sure she had no other response like more crying. There was too much death in her life. She could not think about it.

"She's mine, Murphy. Where do you think I got her?" Clarke shot back at him. He smirked at her, getting up and walking over.

"Come on, Princess. We both know that baby isn't yours. I pay attention, you know," Clarke wanted to panic, but she knew that she had two choices here. She could continue playing dumb, risking Murphy telling someone else whatever theory he had on where she had gotten Madi, or she could tell him everything, and risk him actually knowing something so important. Perhaps Murphy understood her better than she thought, for his face softened after a moment, "I promise I won't tell anyone. It'll be our little secret, swear. I just want to know."

Clarke would later blame it on the trauma of the day. She'd probably blame it on the fact that she had so many secrets and so few to share them with. She might even blame it on her slowly growing belief that one day she might have to sacrifice herself to save those she loved. More than that, though, she blamed it on the fact that she wanted to trust John Murphy, of all people.

"How long do you have?" she asked him jokingly, sitting down and patting the spot next to her for him, "This is just between us. Nobody else can ever know. But it all started when I left Arkadia after Mount Weather fell. Eventually I made my way to a city where I met a small family. And that is where I met Madi."