"Chaste"
Summary: The long-awaited sequel to "Lecherous"
The evening continues…
And really, as condescending as him wanting to swoop in and protect her from the big scary Dildopolis? It was also something she was utterly into.
Written for Tumblr Community Appreciation Week 2017
Prompt: Episode Insert
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"You're such a goof."
His eyes were almost bulging out of his head. It was surreal, the way she was looking at him, still chuckling while he felt as if the earth was going to swallow him up.
The pit in his stomach told him he had made a grave mistake.
Why the hell was she laughing?
"I'm sorry, am I missing something?" He eyed her hand, which was still clutching his.
She paused, opening her mouth as if to explain, before letting out a squeak.
He knew it. She finally realized their predicament. He was lecherous. He was Pierce.
But that wasn't the case at all, for he suddenly became aware she was shoving his hand back onto the steering wheel.
"Jeff, the light!"
He pressed on the gas as an impatient driver behind them beeped the horn.
"I know. I'm going." Jeff muttered to himself as he concentrated his attention on the road ahead.
Annie watched him out of the corner of her eye, aware he was acutely uncomfortable. She didn't really know why. She couldn't believe how sweet he had been a few moments ago, when he had been finally honest with her, sharing he had wanted to kiss her tonight at the party.
The most charming part of it of course was his insistence that he wouldn't have tried to kiss her unless she wanted him to. Fortunately, she had no such restraint. She pressed her forehead against the window as she let her mind drift back to the Debate.
He continued to keep his eyes on the road, but her humming was starting to unnerve him. What had she meant by goof? What was a goof?
"What are you humming?"
"Our love song."
She snorted as she heard him choke.
He squinted at her for a moment before she turned to face him, at which point he abruptly snapped his head back toward the windshield.
He mumbled, "That wasn't funny."
"I'm sorry."
"Mmmmm…"
"Turn here."
"Huh?"
"Here. My place is on the left."
He nodded and made the turn, pulling in front of Dildopolis, or as he and Duncan liked to call it, the Ye Olde Porne Shoppe.
He rolled his eyes. "I may be a goof or a creep or whatever, but you can tell me where you actually live."
She stared at him for a moment before his meaning sunk in. She gasped.
"Oh my god, are you still talking about being lecherous?"
"Annie, I… whatever."
"I live here." She gestured toward the building.
He nodded smugly. "Sure. You live in a porn store."
Huffing in indignation, she explained, "I'll have you know it's a marital aids store."
He smirked as he began to scan up and down the street.
"Cute. Seriously, where do you live? I mean I'm more than a little icked out that you live in this neighborhood, but at least you'll be moving soon."
She explained calmly, "My apartment is above the store."
"Well crap."
She shrugged and said through a tight smile, "It's what I could afford."
He closed his eyes for a moment and leaned back in his seat. He had visions of her being accosted by some creep. Probably someone like Leonard.
Or Pierce.
His eyes flew open.
His voice shaking, he said, "I can't let you stay here. You could get hurt."
She felt her breath catch. She then turned to him with a suspicious stare.
"Why would you say something like that? I've been living here for two years. I'm fine."
He reached over and patted her lightly on the shoulder. Regarding her with an earnestness she found both patronizing and adorable, he pleaded, "You are not fine here. Please come home with me."
Instinctively, she found herself swatting him. This time he grabbed both her hands mid air.
In a low voice, he said, "It isn't safe."
"Come home with you?" Her voice rose almost shrilly, uncertain if he was teasing her or if she was in the middle of some sort of hallucination.
He said more firmly than he meant to, "I meant come stay with me until you move in with the dynamic duo. You can stay in my bed."
"Your bed?" Her eyes widened as her voice squeaked.
Panicking at the way he had fucked this up, he practically shouted, "I'll stay on the couch! I swear!"
She took a deep breath to steady herself. "Jeff, this is the most ridiculous…" She pursed her lips. "I'm going in, okay?"
He winced.
"Crap. I'm sorry I said those things about wanting to kiss you. Now you're creeped out by me. And we're sitting outside of the Ye Old Porne Shoppe…"
-"Ye Olde?"
"And you're looking at me like I'm insane, so I'm going to just stop now. Let's just pretend I drove you home and we didn't speak. Or we talked about toilet olives. Okay?"
She allowed him to release her hands. They spent more than a few awkward moments in silence, Jeff averting his gaze and Annie staring at him while she contemplated what to do next.
All she knew was he confessed he wanted to kiss her, that he was now comparing himself to Pierce for some odd reason, and he assumed she was upset by him wanting to take her home.
And really, as condescending as him wanting to swoop in and protect her from the big scary Dildopolis? It was also something she was utterly into.
Up until Abed's thoughtful suggestion, no one else had seemed to care she lived in a bad neighborhood. She realized her situation hadn't really dawned on Jeff, which wasn't surprising since he tended to be self-focused, but the fact that he was aware now and so horrified and befuddled made her want to squee.
"You're the opposite of lecherous, you know."
"Hm?" He looked over at her with apprehension.
She smiled. "You're almost being old-fashioned about this, Jeff. You're treating me like I was some delicate and naïve girl, a girl who needed to be protected and encased in glass."
He rolled his eyes. "Come on. That's not what I meant. I know you can take care of yourself. I just want to take care of you."
They both gasped.
He had shocked himself with those words. But there was no going back now.
"You want to take care of me?"
"Okay, um, yeah. Maybe." His eyes widened but then he quickly looked down.
"That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me."
"Yeah?" He glanced back up.
She nodded, her lip quivering and her eyes welling with tears.
"Please don't cry. Look, I…"
-"Would you walk me up?"
"To your apartment?"
"Yes. I'd feel safer if you did."
Without hesitation, he replied, "Of course."
They both exited the Lexus, Jeff pausing for a moment to make sure it was locked before he held out his elbow and allowed her to intertwine her arm with his.
He resisted adding a milady because he wasn't sure if he could handle anymore cheese tonight.
Of course he had to admit to himself that he kind of liked cheese when it came to Annie. He had urges to do the whole thing: flowers, candles, chocolates.
Christ, he was a goner.
She was humming again, but stopped as they reached a side door. With a sweet smile, she gently took her arm back and fished in her purse for her keys.
He couldn't help but catch a glimpse of the shiny metal object inside.
"Is that a gun?"
She stiffened as she quickly slapped the flap back over her purse and then looked up at him defiantly.
"I have a license to carry."
He opened his mouth for a moment in astonishment and then closed it. He began to shake his head. "You have a gun."
"Let's not get into this right now. Just please walk me to my apartment door."
"Have you had to use it?"
"No, but I like to be prepared. It gives me confidence."
"Annie."
"Please walk me up?"
"Fine."
She unlocked the side door, and he followed her up the stairs to a ratted hallway, wallpaper peeling and floorboards creaking with each of their steps.
He remarked sardonically, "I like the flickering light. Atmosphere."
"Don't push your luck, mister."
"My luck?" He wondered if she noticed the hopeful tone at the end of the question.
She stopped in front of her apartment door and unlocked it. As she pushed it open, she turned to face him, noticing his hands were in his pockets and he was looking down, just as he had earlier during the party.
"Thank you for walking me to my door."
He lifted his head and gave her a soft smile. "Sure."
She glanced up at him and then tilted her head. "You can kiss me if you want."
She watched his chest heave before he responded.
"Yeah?"
She nodded, her eyes intent on his. "You're not lecherous. We've been pretty darn innocent."
"Innocent?" He took a step closer.
She nodded once again. "Lecherous means having or showing excessive or offensive sexual desire."
"Of course you know that."
She did a slight curtsy and then became momentarily flustered with the realization that she had done so for the second time that evening.
He let out a chuckle but then stopped as he noticed her blush.
He took another step toward her.
She narrowed the gap and reached to place her hands on the back of his neck. His instinctively went to her hips.
She smiled softly. "You know the antonym, meaning opposite, of lecherous is chaste."
"I see."
"But we don't have to go that far."
He arched a brow. "Really?"
Biting her lip, she explained with a slight tremble, "Just one kiss. I'm not having you come in tonight."
He grinned as he leaned down and kissed her.
