A wave of coldness gripped Elizabeth's body. Enid's face was stark white, her hands gripping the pillow as she bowed her head in shame.
You're….?
Liz, what am I going to do? I never thought I would end up like this.
How far along?
I'm at five months. I know I've gained weight. But you can't really see it in my belly. Not when I wear baggy clothes.
Elizabeth stared, trying to digest what her friend was saying.
Who is the father,? she managed to breath out.
He's married! He's a married man! I feel sick! I feel horrible about what I did. He promised he'd leave his wife for me. I'm so selfish, I wanted him for myself. My mother is so disappointed in me. We barely speak. We had a huge fight! She can't even look at me. I'm horrible. I'm already a bad mother!
It will be all right. Elizabeth touched her arm. You'll make a great mother.
No I won't! I don't want to raise a child without a father. I don't want my child to be born out of wedlock! I don't even know how to take care of a baby. I considered having an abortion, but then I just couldn't do it. I don't even have any money. How am I going to afford diapers? Have you seen how much they cost? And preschool? Toys, clothes? I shouldn't have come here. I could barely afford the plane ticket and there's no way I'll be able to go to massage school here. Enid's voice became frantic.
Yes, I am that stupid! I saw the brochures and flew all the way here to sign up! I shouldn't be laying all my problems on you, especially since it's my own stupid fault!
Elizabeth tried to calm her friend. I'm glad you're here. You've been more of a sister to me, more than Jessica ever was. I know we've had our issues, but, I'm going to stand by you as much as I can.
Ohhhhh, Liz, I'm so sorry.
I know, Elizabeth said, holding Enid's hand.
No you don't know. Me and Todd, we had sex. It happened once in college, we were drunk.
I know about it Enid.
You do?
It hurt a lot when I found out. And I was angry. But you and I weren't friends back then, and Todd and I were broken up. He broke up with me because I wouldn't have sex with him. You know what? It doesn't matter. Even if I was sleeping with him he'd probably still screw around with my sister and who knows who else. I'm just glad I never did. Because all of this would hurt a lot worse.
Enid looked up, her eyes full of sorrow.
Elizabeth tried to sooth her, to assure her forgiveness. It's OK Enid. You were right on some things. I can be pretty self righteous and condescending. I was always too focused on everything else except Todd. Whether it was work, or some other guy to distract me, maybe I couldn't give him the commitment he wanted? Maybe it was just me? Maybe I did do something wrong, that made him not love me. She shook her head, her eyes clouding over. Maybe I'm not popular and exciting enough, not like Jessica.
No Liz, don't you dare, Enid insisted, putting a comforting hand on her friend's arm.Don't you dare put yourself down like that! Don't you dare blame yourself for his choices. Advertising your assets to get attention at every opportunity is not the thing you want to be popular for. And as for excitement. Marriage isn't all about that. It has a lot of hard times, ups and downs. I made the mistake of sleeping with a married man, giving him the excitement that he craved, only to have it blow up in my face. Having sex with Todd meant absolutely nothing to either of us, and I am willing to bet that the only reason he's with Jessica is because she's your identical twin. Mark my words Liz. That relationship is not going to work. It may be hot and heavy now, but a relationship based purely on lust, that starts with lies and deceit will never pan out. Jessica is a world class fool. Doesn't she know that he'll always compare her to you? I know now, more than anyone else. Look at the predicament I have gotten myself in to. And now I'm paying for it. I'm completely alone and pregnant. This is not what I wanted for myself, not what my mother wanted for me. I messed up big time.
Enid, I'm so happy you're here, Elizabeth said, looking gratefully at her friend.
We've had our issues, but I never stopped caring for you. I'm just grateful that we can be like this, to talk and share things like we used to.
This is the reason why I came here, Enid continued.
I had to leave Sweet Valley. I saw some ads about massage therapy schools in New York City and that's why I had this crazy idea to come here and ask if I could live with you. I knew you were here and you'd be able to listen to me. I haven't told anyone at home because I'm just so embarrassed about the whole thing. Looking around, I know for sure, I can't stay here forever. I can never afford to live here. I can't put that on you. It wouldn't be fair to you, or to your roommates. But I knew I had to tell someone and you were the first person I thought of.
They sat in silence for a while.
Enid, remember Devon Whitelaw?
Yes, what about him?
He's dead.
What? Enid gasped. How?
He had a brain tumor, Elizabeth said sadly. It was inoperable. I happened to see him right before he died. It still hurts every time I think about him.
That's horrible. That's so sad. He was so young!
I know, Elizabeth agreed. He actually took his own life.
What do you mean?
I mean, Elizabeth said, he knew he'd never get any better, he was terminal, so he ended it. When I found out I was pretty devastated. But I understand why he did it.
Enid shook her head, a bewildered look on her face.
I just can't believe it. I remember it like yesterday. You and Jessica both liked him, but he preferred you from the start. Jessica wasn't too thrilled with that. She's always been jealous every time a guy pays attention to you and not her.
And don't I know it, Elizabeth declared. You remember the Jungle Prom?
How can I forget that disaster?
Well, who do you think spiked my drink?
Enid raised her brows. You're serious? She shook her brown head.
Why am I not surprised? Wow…. That's cold Liz. More than cold. Just evil. Remember the whole thing with Ronnie? This is the same girl who humiliated and tried to turn the entire school against me. If she can do something like that to her own sister…..
You can say it, Elizabeth interrupted.
Say what?
That you told me so. You more than anyone knew exactly what she was like from day one. I refused to listen to you or let anyone criticize her behavior in front of me. You were right. I remember it now, remember it very well. My first day back at school after the accident. She held Enid's hand.
You came to me. A tear escaped her eye.
You were the only one who stood by me. You came to talk to me in the cafeteria. You went on the line to get some food, and then I saw a newspaper with my name, my face and with my crime. It was in your book bag. I know it wasn't you who did that. It was her. It was all her. Jessica put it there on purpose, to make me hate myself more, to make me lose my trust in my best friend. She wanted to throw it in my face. Whenever I think about what she did to me, Enid, I get so angry.
Enid shook her head. I used to be jealous of your relationship. How close you two always were.
Funny, I think she always thought the same thing about you and me, Elizabeth stated.
She didn't want me to have any close friends besides her. Yet, I know how threatened she would be if I was suddenly interested in Lila or her cheerleader friends. She's kind of like the boyfriend who abuses you, who wants you to stay with him so he can continue abusing you, who has other girlfriends on the side, but doesn't want you to seek comfort elsewhere.
Enid nodded, deep in thought. Alone and at her disposal?
Exactly.
Have you talked to her about it? Did she deny it?
She doesn't know that I know.
Why didn't you confront her,? Enid asked.
I don't know. For one thing, I didn't want to upset my parents. It happened so long ago, and except for that Big Mesa guy who confused me for her, I really have no proof. I was so upset when I realized it, that I just took the first job here that was offered to me. And the whole thing with Todd...
Do you still love him?
Elizabeth scoffed. No. Not after all of this.
I remember the two of them dating while you were going through the whole thing. The entire school was against them. I mean, how could he? How could she? They're sick. I remember seeing them out together. We all did. She was always draped all over him like a cheap suit. No one could believe that he'd treat you that way.
Well he did. I really am grateful to you Enid, for sticking by me during the whole thing. You were one of the only lights at the end of the black tunnel of despair and horror that I was living in. Elizabeth shook her head as tears escaped her lids. Few people did. Even at the worst times, when you and I weren't speaking to each other, I know you would never do something like that to me. Not like she did.
I should have figured it out all along, Enid said. Jessica basically killed her own boyfriend. Let's say you never got in that car. Let's say Sam never died. You still could have been caught by a chaperone, by a teacher, by old chrome dome Cooper himself, and gotten kicked out of school. They probably wouldn't have gone that far, considering your reputation, but you could have gotten into serious trouble. Enid shuddered.
You could have been killed yourself, or gone off with the wrong guy or bunch of guys and gotten raped. I've seen bad things happen too many times Liz. You know how I was, you know the things I did, before we ever became friends. I was high all the time, hung out with the worst crowd. I've seen girls get into the worst situations. The same thing could have happened to you.
Jessica didn't care about that. I guess she saw me dancing with Sam and then she decided that she wanted to stand next to Todd as his queen.
Well, she has her king now doesn't she?
You deserve so much better than the both of them. I mean it Liz. Count yourself lucky that you've always been honest and tried to play fair. She stated laughing.
What's so funny?
On my flight here, I sat next to a Haitian woman who told me all about gris gris and voodoo dolls. She asked me if I believed in the supernatural. So I told her that I once had a crush on a guy who everyone thought was a vampire. I can't believe that whole episode Liz. It's like I had gone crazy, the whole of Sweet Valley High went crazy over that creepy Johnathan Cain guy. And you, you were just looking out for me. I did my best to push you away.
Hey, don't worry about it, Elizabeth insisted. It's not any worse than the time I was in London and convinced myself I was in love with a guy who thought he was a werewolf! I was crying silly over this guy, I would have defended him to the death, and he turned out to be psychotic, a complete nutjob! The two friends burst out laughing.
Maybe we should call her, the voodoo priestess, Enid said between giggles. She gave me her card and she told me she lives in Flatbush? Wherever that is.
Hmmmmm, there's an idea, but no. I wouldn't dare,! Elizabeth said, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. I'll leave them to their own devices. I don't want to soil my spirit or my hands with the two of them again. They might as well be dead to me.
I haven't always been honest and played fair though, Elizabeth continued. I have done some pretty awful things myself. I wasn't exactly faithful to Todd when we were in high school. But now that I think about it, the majority of times I got tempted to date other guys was after the accident. After he betrayed me with my sister.
Yeah, but you never had sex with someone else while you were supposedly with him though.
True. But I wasn't having sex period. I'm glad I never did back then. I'm glad I waited.
OOOOhhhhh? Liz, who did you finally do it with?
Ummmmm. His name is Max. I met him when I was in England. He was the son of an English Earl
Really? Wow, did you love him?
I did. But he and I we weren't meant to be. He had a fiancee. I was wrong for sleeping with him. You're not the only one who went after a man who was already taken. You're right though. Relationships that start out with deceit and lies seldom work. Although I still think about Max sometimes. She suddenly developed a dreamy smile on her face. Still think about…..
Liz!
Elizabeth snapped out of her reverie. You know, I ran away to London because I caught Jessica with Sam.
Sam Burgess?
Yes. I caught them kissing. She claims that she did it so I would see what type of guy he really was. I just couldn't take it any more. And I was stupid enough to leave Max and leave London to come back home. Jessica came all the way over there to get me to leave with her, and I did. Came back to where I found out about her and Todd. Some sister huh? I guess I've been her doormat for so long that I've gotten used to her wiping her feet on me.
She looked at the clock.
Adrienne should be coming home soon. I have to get some work done.
Enid looked down at her swollen ankles. I think I want to take a rest. Not to sleep, just to put my feet up.
Sure, Elizabeth said. She pulled out some clean sheets from a drawer and began pulling out the bed. Enid got up to help her.
No Enid, let me do it, Elizabeth insisted. It's a little hard. I don't want you to strain yourself.
Enid watched while Elizabeth tugged at the small bed and slid it out from below. She spread open the folded sheets and began making the bed.
You won't need a blanket tonight. Are you sure you don't want to be near the window?, Elizabeth asked, as she plugged in a small fan.
Actually, no. Enid replied. I have to get up to go to the bathroom a lot, she grinned sheepishly, so better you stay by the window. I don't want to keep bypassing you.
Elizabeth nodded.Yeah, that makes sense.
I'll leave you to rest now, Elizabeth said, hugging her friend. I have an article to work on. All about wine tasting tours in the Hamptons. I went to one a few days ago, it was pretty nice.
You'll have to take me when I can drink again, Enid laughed as Elizabeth approached the door. Liz, do you have anything to read?
Well, I have some issues of my magazine here….But... I have a sort of manuscript. I've been writing a lot and I'd really love your opinion. She pulled a large pile of paper from her shelf and handed it to Enid. Tell me if it's horrible. I've been working on it for a while, it's not good yet, and I keep changing and rewriting things. It's kind of crazy, kind of out there and definitely not finished yet. I'll be outside working on my laptop.
She pulled the door shut.
Liz? Enid called out.
Hmmmmm? Elizabeth poked her head in the door.
Thanks. Enid smiled gratefully.
Elizabeth nodded and pulled the door. Sometimes words were unnecessary.
Now, this thing, Elizabeth said the next morning as she handed Enid a small round disk, it's called a token. You stick it in the slot on the front of the bus. Just do like I do, she explained as the two friends boarded a bus in Times Square.
Just like we put it in the turnstile at the subway earlier. Elizabeth figured that the best way to show Enid the city was to take buses up and down Manhattan. They spent a very hot day, enjoying the air conditioning and touring the various sites and attractions.
Liz, I can't even understand how you can figure this place out. It's so big, so many people, I'd get completely lost if I was alone.
Elizabeth laughed. I can tell you a few horror stories of when I first started living here, she said. But I got used to it. It really isn't that confusing. Once you figure out the subway, you really have nothing to worry about. And most people here are nice. They may always be in a hurry, and that's because we always have to get to somewhere. We always have to run for a bus, or catch a train, it's just the lifestyle. You'd get used to it too, if you were living here.
It's just so strange, Enid said, her face perplexed. I mean you've always been the perfect California girl, and look at you now. A real New Yorker.
Elizabeth raised her brow. Well, I don't know about that. The natives still think of people like me as being a transplant. But as far as I'm concerned, that's what makes this city so great. There are so many people from different places, different states, different countries, eight million of them, all with stories to tell. It's noisy, dirty, it's smelly, and yes, sometimes the crime is pretty bad, but I love it! Her eyes lit up in excitement.
Well I can see why you're in no hurry to come back home, Enid said, taking in the sites.Sweet Valley is such a snore compared to this. Is that the famous Macy's? Enid pointed as they drove on seventh avenue at thirty forth street.
Yep, Elizabeth eyes twinkled. The one with the Thanksgiving parade and the one with the real Santa Claus.
Enid gasped jokingly. No wonder my wishes never came true. The Santa at the Valley mall was a fraud!
Well, after your baby's born. We'll take him or her there, Elizabeth promised.
It's a her. Enid said. I'm having a girl. Liz, I'm so scared!
I know I can't tell you that you shouldn't be. I can't even imagine being in your position. But I promise to be here for you. I can't offer you my place, but you can call me whenever you wish, she said sympathetically.
Two hot, hazy and humid days later, Elizabeth sent Enid off in a taxi to JFK and back to California. After a tearful goodbye and promises to be the baby's godmother, she felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and relieved that they were friends again.
