Chapter 17: Comrades

As humans, we often find ourselves stuck at a crossroads, torn between two deceivingly similar paths. But because we're a rather selfish species, we decide based on the outcome, the final destination of the whole journey, rather than the journey itself.

And since the copy ninja is also a human, he found himself stuck in one of these particularly difficult situations.

"You have two choices, Kakashi. The first option is an oral medication called temozolomide, or temodar," Tsunade started practically, gesticulating with her hands as if she were talking to a child, making sure to hold her gaze with the shinobi seated before her desk. "You would take it in regular intervals, and the good thing about it is that there aren't many side effects."

He leaned forward with a deep gulp, his palms sweating underneath the table, brows knitted in utter confusion at the complicated vocabulary she was spewing. "And the second option? What is it?"

The hokage cleared her throat and looked down for a fleeting second, breaking the connection that they'd shared through the much needed eye contact. However short, that mere moment of insecurity on Tsunade's part was enough to worry Kakashi, who was already anxious enough.

"Well, after years of careful research, we came up with a clinical trial," she said finally, making her voice as professional as she could manage, "But it isn't a fairly established procedure, Kakashi. As a consequence, you'd have to stay in the hospital for about a month, inpatient, so we can observe you. And there are...many side effects, if you're comparing it to the temodar."

He narrowed his eyes, taking in the new information. It certainly didn't sound pleasant, to say the least.

"What are the side effects, Lady Tsunade?" Kakashi questioned with a sigh, crossing his arms and reclining back into a more comfortable position. It seemed as if nothing was easy these days, so he might as well accept it, endure it.

"Loss of appetite, nausea, weight loss...You'll throw up without a doubt, and lose a few more pounds. Diarrhea, or conversely constipation could effect you. The medication reacts differently with each individual, so it's hard to tell you exactly what to expect," she started hesitantly, reluctant to reveal the whole truth to him. But no, she knew she had to, because he had cancer, and it was her responsibility as a doctor to tell him everything, just as it was. There was no time for feelings, simply no time to sugarcoat.

"I can assure you that you'll be in such debilitating pain, you'll need help walking to the bathroom. Your immune system will be so weakened by the medicine, that we'll have to regulate whatever you eat and who goes into your room. You will feel like absolute crap, Kakashi."

"I don't understand..." he started huskily, voice gravelly with fatigue. He ran a hand through his messy mop of hair, as his overgrown bangs were starting to become uncomfortably long. "How can there possibly be any benefits at all to the clinical trial?"

Frankly, it sounded like it would harm him more than help him.

"You would recover significantly faster. We're betting on a year until remission with the temodar, whereas the clinical trial would take a month to work, ideally," she explained, then added, to sound like less of a robot and more of a human, "Look, I'm not telling you to pick the latter, although it would be more convenient in the long run. Whichever you choose, it's always your decision, Kakashi. You're an adult and you can make choices for yourself, never forget that."

There was no doubt in his genius mind that she was utterly wrong. His decisions were always, always influenced by someone who wasn't him, by a precious person that he cared far too much about.

"I..." he started softly, after a contemplative pause, staring somewhere into the blue morning sky outside the window behind her head, "I'll..."

He envisioned three bright, ear to ear grins, hearing nothing but a gaggle of childish giggles and the occasional dispute that, of course, he would have to break up.

"...I'll go with the clinical trial."


"Kurenai?" Kakashi said confusedly, slowly setting down his book.

"Hey, Kakashi," The kunoichi greeted with a small wave from the door, proceeding to stride over to his bed and plop right down, after carefully placing an overnight bag on the tile next to her feet.

"Um...What are you doing here?" he asked finally, subconsciously sitting up straighter, pulling the blanket over his legs. She punched him on the shoulder lightly at that. He flinched in discomfort, as the impact of the hit was a little too close to the fresh incision on his chest. He didn't blame her though, as it was secure underneath the cotton of his T-shirt, hidden from any watching eyes.

"Wow, thanks for the warm welcome," Kurenai uttered sarcastically, face clearly unimpressed, "I'm staying overnight. Thought you'd want someone here for your first day."

Kakashi shifted uneasily, staring out the window, not looking at the moon, but instead at the infinite darkness."You didn't have to do that...I'm sure Gai, or maybe Asu-"

"I heard they're both away on missions, but they'd do the same, because after all, they are your comrades," she interrupted with a sigh, starting to stand up, "Anyways, I'm going to go the bathroom. Can't sleep in this, can I?."

The man's eyes followed as she picked up her backpack and made her way to the door, his brows furrowed, mouth unsure of what it would say when it finally did open up.

"...Hey," he stopped her, "Thanks, Kurenai. It...means a lot."

She froze mid step, her hand on the door knob, embellished lips lighting up into a smile. "Of course, Kakashi. We're comrades after all."


"Breathe in, Mr. Hatake," said the nurse, a plump, old woman, with laughing creases lining her wise eyes. He inhaled deeply, expecting the worse.

When she pushed the large needle into his implanted port, a catheter like device attached to a central vein underneath his skin, a pained gasp didn't fail to escape past his parted lips, his eyes reflexively watering with burning tears.

"You did well," the nurse encouraged with a voice aged by time, pruned fingers dexterously working to cover the access site under his collarbone with bandages. "You did very well, Kakashi."

He pulled the left sleeve of his tank top back on with wide eyes and tiredly confined himself to the mattress, aching head leaning back into the white, utilitarian pillows. Kakashi watched as she messed with the tube coming out of his chest, attaching it to a pouch with a frighteningly unusual amber looking substance in it. He could only watch as the clinical trial begin to drip into his port.

"You know, someone's movin' a bed in here, right next to your own. Saw the hospital staff lugging it up in the elevator," the nurse started, finally turning to face him, "I'm sure a handsome boy like you has a wife to support you on your first day..."

Kakashi shook his head slightly to quell off her thoughts, eyes closed, as he was starting to feel a bit drowsy. "She's a friend, and only that. I'm not into marriage. Too much commitment."

"I see...Well, press the call button if anything goes wrong. There's a bucket at your bedside just in case, alright? Good luck, I really do hope that everything goes well," the nurse said with a genuine smile, then started to walk away, her heels making clapping sounds on the hard floor.

Kakashi opened his eyes abruptly, remembering something. "Excuse me, but I have a question."

The elderly women turned around. "Yes?"

"Do you know a girl named Kotomi? I think she works here..." And she randomly disappeared on me.

"Kotomi Hagiwara, huh? Well, she's on leave right now. Actually, she's admitted in a room on the same floor as you, right now."

His breath caught in his throat, as he was completely taken by surprise.

"...Why?" he questioned, his eyebrows arched dramatically, "For what?"

"Couldn't tell you that," she said diplomatically in response, "Patient confidentiality."

"Well, could you at least tell me her room number?" Kakashi pushed on, now fully sitting up in bed.

The nurse shrugged unknowingly. "I'm sorry, but I don't treat her on a day-to-day basis. And with my old, wrinkled brain, I wouldn't remember even if I did. Would you like me to find out for you though?"

"Please."


It was somewhere between midnight and dawn when he woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for breath, his stomach sore and churning violently with food he didn't remember eating. Gripping his pained abdomen, Kakashi reached over the side of the bed, fumbling for the bucket, eyes blurring, mind foggy. He made a conscious effort to stay as silent as possible, as Kurenai was fast asleep right next to him, her breaths even. He would die of embarrassment if he did it in front of her.

His trembling hands knocked the bucket to the floor with a loud clang.

"...Kakashi?" Kurenai mumbled with a yawn, starting to sit up in bed. He had been too loud.

"What are you doing? Is something wro-"

Somehow, with the aid of adrenaline, he swiped the bucket off the ground and removed his mask with a flick of the wrist, before retching into the container, his face practically hidden in the opening. Kurenai jumped out of bed and bolted to his side, placing a hand on his hunched back, all the sleep driven from her eyes. Face twisting grotesquely in agony, Kakashi continued to vomit, barely having time to breathe before another strong wave of nausea wracked his form.

"Should I call the nurse?" she questioned worriedly, rubbing circles on his back in an attempt to alleviate the pain, her eyes wide, pupils narrowed.

"No," he gasped pleadingly, jerking away from her touch, a pale, shaking hand held up to stop her from coming any closer. "No...J-just leave. Go away."

He was disgusted with himself, completely mortified, set off by any voice, sound, touch.

"How could I leave you like this? What do you take me for?!" Kurenai seethed, angry that he would even think to say such a thing.

This time, Kakashi sobbed, feeling the acid coming up his gullet again. He ducked his head into the bucket and threw up once more, his throat on fire.

Her features softened with empathy. "Oh, Kakashi..." she whispered, taking a seat next to him on the mattress, holding his heaving frame with both hands. "Just let me help you. Just let me."

His face sickeningly pale and beaded with sweat, sticky hair matted to his forehead, Kakashi stared at the ceiling, allowing her to embrace him. Gradually the fight began to leave him, and he fell back against the headrest of his bed, lips chapped and quivering, forehead creased with the weight of his troubles, his eyes beginning to water. Kakashi's adam's apple bobbed up and down as he struggled to keep another cry from ripping past his throat.

Kurenai looked up just in time to see a single tear slide down the ivory flesh of his cheek. Wordlessly, she set his head against her shoulder, her fingers starting to soothingly stroke his damp hair out of his eyes.

It had been a harsh night, but somehow, in a comrade's company, sleep found him.


Author's Note:

Hey. Long time. Leave some reviews, cause they keep me motivated to write. Don't hesitate to tell me how you felt about this chap.