I added a couple of pictures in my profile.
Elizabeth sat on her living room couch, pouring out her thoughts into the pages of her diary. It was something she hadn't done for a long time, something she sometimes thought she had outgrown, but at this moment in her life, it represented an old friend that she missed dearly, and felt the need to get reacquainted with.
She got up and went to the window, observing the hazy skies of that hot summer day. The air conditioning in her new apartment was keeping her very refreshed and comfortable, and Elizabeth thought of last year, wondering how she ever coped with an entire summer in New York City without the much needed cooling.
She looked to the left and saw the twin towers of the World Trade Center, far in the distance, shining in the sunlight. She immediately thought of her own twin, not really Jessica herself, but the fact that Jessica was a mother and she wasn't. Tears entered her eyes, and she quickly wiped them away.
She was doing a lot better now, the pain of her damaged soul was less severe, but there wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about what could have been. She didn't want to admit it, but she was jealous of her sister. Her sister had carried a healthy child to term, and she hadn't. There were days…. days after it happened, when she'd go outside, trying to be normal as possible, and almost broke down every time she saw a small child or heard a baby cry. She would see pregnant women on the streets and had to look away, unable to bear that they had what she didn't, that they were what she wasn't….what she had lost.
Nicholas had been her lifeline, and she clung to him, never wanting to let go. There were frequent nights when he held her while she wept and poured her heart out, and she felt like she couldn't even remember her life before him. He was ever patient, ever loving, and time and time again, she was soothed by his devotion. He had taken her several times to Greenwich to escape the flurry of summer in the city.
On days when she wasn't reading in his aunt's library, he either took her sailing or riding. The cantering of Athena's hooves along the grassy meadows and the peaceful sounds of waves lapping on the numerous yachts on Long Island Sound relieved her rattled mind. She had decided not to take any classes this summer, when she lost her baby in June, it was right when she was finished for the semester. She had opened the envelope with her grades and seen that she had gotten another A, but she found herself not caring. What use was an A when her womb was empty and her baby was gone?
Elizabeth didn't know if she wanted to go back to school in the fall. There was too much on her mind, and the effort of concentrating on her school work had been taken over by trying to pick up the fragile pieces of her broken heart.
She was most surprised when her best friend called from California, updating her on the new happenings in her life.
Enid! Elizabeth exclaimed. I thought you were on a man free diet!
Enid giggled. I lied. I'm so happy Liz. I've found Mister Right. I'll be moving into his place, maybe next month.
Really Enid Rollins,? Elizabeth laughed. Living with a man before you're married?
So? Don't be a hypocrite,! Enid scolded. The person who's moved in with you, last time I checked, their name isn't Nichole!
OK, you got me there, Elizabeth smiled at her friends teasing. So, I'm curious, what does your mother say?
She doesn't like it, but she does like Ray…..And he's so good with Alex. I wouldn't have anything to do with him if I wasn't sure of that.
You won't believe what's going on in Sweet Valley… Enid said, proceeding to dish out the town's gossip….
In early August, Steven called Elizabeth, telling her that he and Cara were coming for a visit.
There's a young lawyer's conference in Manhattan, Steven explained.
So I thought I might as well check up on you, see what kind of shenanigans you're up to, he said.
Elizabeth giggled into the phone. Mom didn't put you up to this did she?
Maybe, Steven laughed. Anyway, they told me you have a new place? So can Cara and I stay over for a few days? It's just the two of us. Nate will stay with Mom and Dad.
Of course you can stay with me,! Elizabeth replied. But you better not give Nicholas a hard time,! she cautioned.
I promise to be on my best behavior, Steven promised.
Elizabeth was eager to see them. She missed her brother, and Cara... she hadn't seen much of Cara when she was home in December. Initially, Cara had been more of Jessica's friend. The two of them had more in common, their primary activities were cheer leading, shopping and boys. Cara had changed somewhat, after she started dating Steven while still in high school, and she and Elizabeth had become closer before Cara left Sweet Valley for London.
We're taking the red eye, Wednesday night. Steven said. So we'll be arriving at JFK, terminal eight at nine, Thursday morning. Is that OK?
That's great. I'll come meet you.
We can't wait to see you sis.
Me too Steve. Bye!, she said, hanging up.
Early Thursday morning, Elizabeth kissed Nicholas as he left for work and made her way to the airport. She couldn't wait to see her brother again. And Cara too. She watched as the two of them exited the arrivals lounge. She knew that Cara was expecting, but the reality of it hit her when she saw her sister in law.
Seeing Cara, her belly protruding, was like a slap in the face.
They exchanged hugs and kisses and made their way to the taxi stand.
So how many more months? Elizabeth asked.
Just one, Cara replied. I'm so over it.
Yeah, she's like my pet turtle, Steven joked. My back hurts from flipping her over so she can get up.
Cara punched his arm.
You got me to look like this! And I'm actually a bit smaller than I was with Nathan. I'm watching what I eat more now. Don't look at me like that Steven!
OK, OK. He held his hands up.
How was your flight? Elizabeth asked.
I didn't sleep at all, Cara complained. The turbulence wasn't that bad, but I can never sleep when I fly. Your brother slept through the whole thing.
I did not,! Steven insisted. That man across the aisle from me kept getting up to go to the bathroom. So for the whole six hours, I was at the mercy of his calls of nature.
Cara looked at the scenery as they drove along the Grand Central Parkway.
So when is your conference Steve,? Elizabeth queried.
It's tomorrow. We're leaving on Sunday afternoon. So we have the rest of today, and I have Saturday to spend time with you.
Where are the tall buildings? Cara asked.
We're in Queens, Elizabeth laughed. There aren't too many skyscrapers around here. You'll see them soon enough.
So how's Nicholas? Cara asked, giving Elizabeth a pointed gaze. Elizabeth and Cara giggled together.
What's so funny? Steven asked.
Just girls being silly, Cara replied. Things that you don't know about. Girls always giggle when they're talking about guys. Elizabeth and Cara giggled again.
Whatever, Steven said, closing his eyes.
Don't even think of sleeping Steve, we're five minutes away, Elizabeth informed him as they approached the Long Island Expressway.
Well, here it is, she announced, as they pulled up to her building.
Wow Liz, you live here? Cara asked, looking up at the top as they walked inside.
Yep, Elizabeth answered, as she got money out of her purse to pay the driver.
Let me pay sis, Steven offered, whipping out his wallet.
No, It's OK Steve, Elizabeth insisted.
Wow, a doorman and everything,! Cara exclaimed, as they entered the lobby.
Very nice,! Cara complimented, as Elizabeth pressed the button on the elevator.
I didn't know you were up so high, Steven said, as the elevator advanced to the upper floors.
There's just one floor above us, Elizabeth told him.
They got out and walked towards the apartment, and Elizabeth opened the door.
Mom said you own next door too?, Steven said, pointing to the apartment on the right as they walked through the door.
I do, Elizabeth confirmed. I already have a tenant. She's a single, professional woman, maybe a little older than Mom.
Way to go little sis. My sister the landlady, Steven teased.
First thing, where's the loo? Cara begged as Steven put their bags down on the floor.
Living in England rubbed off on my vocabulary, she grinned.
Elizabeth giggled. Right there…she pointed as Cara hightailed it into the bathroom.
Whew! I have to go every five minutes with this baby pressing on my bladder, Cara said as she reentered the hallway. I'm surprised they let me fly, being this big.
Cara sat down on the living room couch.
So are you hungry? Thirsty? Elizabeth asked.
Just water for now, Cara requested.
Me too, agreed Steven.
Oh wow, Cara said, putting her hands on the seat and hoisting herself up. She moved over to the windows, to where Steven was standing. This view is great!
This place is amazing!, she continued, looking at the Chrysler building in the distance. Liz, this apartment is awesome. So we're in Queens right?
Right, Elizabeth answered, while pouring some water from a pitcher. The best views of the city are actually outside of the city, where you can see more of the buildings from afar. We're actually one stop away from Manhattan at Grand Central Station. On the train I mean.
It's funny how New Yorkers measure distances in train stops and not miles, Steven observed.
True, Elizabeth said. That's because the train is so much easier than driving.
Nicholas has a car doesn't he,? Steven asked.
Elizabeth nodded. He does. It's parked under the building. But even with a car, we still use the train a lot. He takes the ferry to work.
Why does the Empire State building get all the love? Cara questioned. The Chrysler Building is so much prettier.
I agree with you, but Empire State building is taller. And King Kong didn't come to New York to climb up the Chrysler building did he,? Elizabeth laughed.
Can we go? I want to go up to the top, Cara said excitedly.
Well…, Elizabeth rolled her eyes exaggeratedly. That's only for the tourists.
Cara placed her hands on her hips. Well Liz, that is exactly what I am. So I want to go. Pleaseeeeeeeee,! she begged.
See how demanding she is when she's pregnant? Steven joked with his sister. What happened to the nice girl I married?
The lines are long just to get on the elevator, Elizabeth cautioned.
I don't mind, Cara insisted. Maybe they have a special line for pregnant women who look like they're about to pop? And if I get tired, my loving husband can make a chair with his arms, so I can sit, she suggested winking at Steven.
Elizabeth giggled at the idea as her brother shook his head in protest.
Actually, they do have a fast pass line. When we get there, all we'll have to do is go straight to the elevator. Elizabeth conceded. It's a little more money, but it's worth it. We'll go later when Nicholas gets home.
Yay! Cara said, giving a little jump and throwing her arms around Elizabeth.
But what if you go into labor up there? Steven joked.
We'll call the baby Empire State Wakefield then, Cara responded, smirking at her husband. She looked out the window again. It's so close, I feel like I can touch it.
It has a nice ring to it, Elizabeth smiled. Tomorrow, Cara I'll give you a tour of the city. You two came here at a great time. The weather is actually pretty nice. New York city in August is usually a nightmare. But tomorrow, I don't think it will break eighty degrees. Cool and cloudy is in the forecast.
Which is fine with me, Cara said. The last thing I need is to get overheated. And it will remind me of London.
What about me? I want a tour too! Steven whined.
The only thing that's going to be hot tomorrow is your wallet Steven Wakefield! Elizabeth poked her brother in the ribs. You and Nicholas have to go to work! But the two of you can leave your credit cards with us.
Good idea Liz, Cara agreed.
This apartment is so much better than that…Steven observed.
Rat hole that I used to live in? Elizabeth finished for him.
Well I didn't want to say anything but it was pretty terrible, Steven replied, yawning.
And it's so quiet here, he observed. I haven't heard one siren yet.
That's because the glass is sound resistant, Elizabeth explained. It's a huge relief to come in here at the end of the day and block the noise of the city out.
Good, cause I'm tired, Steven yawned again.
I can see you're sleepy Steve. Let me show you your room, Elizabeth said, walking over to the closed door. This one's yours. I hope the bed is comfy enough for you Cara.
For Cara? What about me? Steven pouted.
You behave or you get to sleep on the floor tonight! Cara warned.
She turned to Elizabeth. It's great that you're renting out the apartment next door. Is it just like this one?
It's a mirror image, Elizabeth answered. Same everything. The only difference is you see a little more north and east than we do here. I have the option of knocking down the party wall and creating one big apartment. But this is more than big enough for Nicholas and I.
We're doing the same thing with our condo, renting it out I mean, Cara said, sipping her water.
So how is it living with Mom and Dad? Elizabeth asked.
It's great actually, Cara answered. I was a little hesitant at first, because….. I love your parents and all, but….. who wants to live with their in laws? But we really feel like we have our own space. Your Mom went out of her way to remodel and expand the house so we have lots of privacy. We even have our own small kitchen. And having help with Nate is a plus. Running after him is so much harder now, and he gets into everything. Wait till you have your own Liz, and then you'll see.
Elizabeth paled as she turned to get herself a carton of yogurt, composing herself as she ducked her head into the refrigerator. It was a strain to hold it all in, to pretend that it wasn't affecting her.
Liz, you look so beautiful, Cara observed. Your skin looks so smooth. Looks like your tan went the same way mine did, although I'm still naturally much darker than you.
Beautiful huh? Elizabeth batted her eyelashes with exaggeration. Well, I don't know about that. All this wonderful New York pollution prevents the sun from getting on my skin. Who ever thought it would be great for a girl's complexion,? she laughed.
If anyone looks great, it's you Cara. Elizabeth admired her sleek dark hair that ran past her shoulders. Your hair is so thick, so glossy.
Hey you too, stop flirting,! Steven scolded them.
And you know, Cara continued, laughing at her husband,I got used to the English weather. And I'm so busy these days. Who has the time to be tanning anyway?
Jessica maybe. Steven answered. There was an awkward silence.
Elizabeth spoke first, breaking the ice. It's OK, you can say her name. I'm not going to go to implode and go to pieces when you mention her. Elizabeth shrugged. I just had to get away, see what it's really like to be on my own.
Well, the whole Todd thing didn't help, Cara said.
She shook her dark head. I can't believe Jessica!
Well, not everyone ends up with their high school sweetheart. Elizabeth winked at them.
High school sweet heart,? Cara exclaimed. I happen to have had a handsome college man when I was in high school. As for your sister….
Look, Todd and I weren't meant to be, Elizabeth declared. He and I were so long ago. If he's happy with Jessica, well, so be it. Elizabeth watched Cara as she sipped her water.
Pregnancy suited her, there was a glow of happiness on her face. Her dark hair had always been beautiful, but now it looked thicker and shinier than before.
You know, you always had the right idea Liz, Cara said, changing the subject. When it comes to makeup, less is more. I look at my old pictures and cringe about how I used to plaster my face with blush, and put on more eyeliner than a raccoon. Why didn't anyone tell me? When our daughter is born, she and I are going to have a serious talk about wearing makeup.
Yeah, we'll tell her she can't wear it until she's twenty one and can only date when she's twenty five. I won't have any little snot all over my baby girl, Steven threatened.
Steve, then she won't have a life. She'll hate you,! Elizabeth insisted.
I don't care. I know how teenage boys are. We're going to start early Cara, lining up the guns for when he comes to pick her up for her date.
Yes Dad, Cara rolled her eyes.
Have you thought of names yet? Elizabeth asked.
Aside from Empire State Wakefield,? Cara giggled. Well, we've settled on Karen. Sort of naming her after me.
Karen Wakefield….I like it, Elizabeth stated.
Steven yawned again. So when does Nicholas get here,? he asked. I want to interrogate him about shacking up with my little sister.
Don't you dare Steven,! Cara swatted his arm.
Nicholas is the perfect gentleman, Elizabeth said, crossing her arms and glaring at her brother.
Steven folded his arms in return. Oh he is, is he? So you mean he usually sleeps in the other room?
None of your business big brother,! Elizabeth scowled.
Give her a break Steve, Cara said.
Dad's not here, so I have to do his job, Steven joked.
Oh no you don't,! Elizabeth rolled her eyes.
Seeing her brother all grown up with his wife and son made her realize how quickly time was moving by. Cara was almost a different person. The girl whose primary concern used to be what color to paint her toe nails was now well on her way to becoming a pediatric nurse. Her eyes grew cloudy when she realized how happy she was for the two of them.
So tell us all about Connecticut Liz, Steven queried, raising his brow. Mom says something about a house?
It's Nicholas' aunt's house. Nicholas' house actually. She recently signed it over to him, just last month, Elizabeth said. He had to pay the taxes and the transfer fees. She's still living there, and will stay as long as she wants, but it's all his.
So what? Steven looked at his sister. Are the two of you going to be moving there?
No….. I don't know. Not yet.
Liz? Do you have something to tell us? Cara smiled suspiciously. I know people always want to move out of the city when they….
You're not pregnant are you,? Steven widened his eyes in shock.
Elizabeth shook her head, not trusting herself to talk.
No, she said casually, as she reined in her emotions. The last thing she wanted to do was cry…..again.
Do you have any recent pictures of Nathan,? Elizabeth asked, quickly changing the subject.
Steven pulled out his wallet, opening it to show Elizabeth snapshots of his son.
Ohh, he's so cute! He looks just like Dad. He's adorable,! she gushed.
Steven rolled his eyes. Everyone says that. How he looks like Dad, more than I look like Dad. Mom calls him little Ned.
He has my Dad's blue eyes, Cara said.
Mom's blue eyes, Steven and Elizabeth said in unison, making the three of them laugh.
Well whoever gave him the blue eyes, they sure did him a favor, said Elizabeth, examining the small photo. They're so clear and bright.
Cara smoothed her hair. We didn't think his eyes would stay blue, with both of us having brown. But my Mom and your Mom….They might change though, as he gets older.
He's a handful for sure, Cara continued. A lot of people think we had him too early. But I can't imagine our lives without him.
Steven held her hand in agreement.
But it's tough, she continued. Getting him to go to bed is a nightly battle. Sometimes he just refuses to sleep. And getting him to eat. Forget it. All he wants is scones. I keep telling him we're in America now, and the scones are back in England. I buy him biscuits and he won't eat them. So I have to make scones from scratch. And then he'll eat half of one, run off to play and refuse to eat the rest. Your mother has a lot more patience with feeding him than I do.
Cara yawned, and stretched her arms over her head.
Tired? Elizabeth asked.
Very. I need to put my swollen feet up.
Why don't you lay down and take a nap? Both of you, Elizabeth offered.
Can we shower first? I want to wash that plane off of me, Cara groaned.
Sure, Elizabeth said. Cara you can use my bathroom. Unless…, she giggled.
Ummmm….., I don't think there is enough space in the shower for both of us with my big belly, Cara laughed, as Steven shot her a hopeful look. We'll use both bathrooms Liz.
How am I going to scrub my back then? Steven frowned.
Down boy, Cara chortled. Look, you're making Liz blush,! she kidded as the pair walked into the bedroom with their bags.
Elizabeth smiled, thinking about how nice it was to see the two of them again. She went to her desk and started editing some articles about Summer parties in the Hamptons as they closed the door and went to sleep. She remembered her first day in the city, emotionally and physically exhausted after arriving from California. She shuddered at the memory. She shook her head at how utterly defeated she felt back then and was grateful at how far her life had come from those days...
