Flashlight


Chapter twelve


Yeahhhh new chapter. Again sorry for the wait. Not sure where time went this time.
As always the wonderful beanstalk007 helped me with this (and all) chapters, and I am so grateful.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!


"Guys, guys!" Steve's voice boomed over the rest, "Lets just pick something and get started," he finally had it with all the bickering and intervened as only he would. He never did like to see his friends argue, even if it was as light-hearted as this and you could not help the smile that formed on your face. Steve looked exasperated when Sam rolled his eyes and mocked him, while Natasha took advantage of the distraction and hid the phone from Sam. Neither one gave any thought to the number of cellphones in the room. Instead he began to tickle her, trying to get the hiding place from her. She shrieked and called for Wanda to help her, who jumped up on Sam's back, pulling his hands away from Natasha. Everyone was laughing, while Maria calmly walked by them and took the phone from its hiding place behind the couch, causing the other culprits to stop their actions. Maria smiled a little too sweetly as she began to dial a number from memory. Now Clint jumped up, knowing full well what she would order and disagreeing with her choice loudly.

"Guys, come on, stop," Steve tried again, though he had trouble keeping down the chuckle that was threatening to escape his lips at the sight before him. Clint stood, jumping like a toddler having a fit, Natasha lay on the ground with both Sam and Wanda on top of her, Wanda still trying to pry Sam's hands away from Nat's sides and Maria stood calmly in the middle of it all with a smile on her face.
It didn't matter how old everyone got, as long as nights like these would keep happening, you thought to yourself.

"Aye, Aye, Captain," Wanda said as she reluctantly gave in to his pleas and stood up, her hand raised in mock salute. Chuckles resounded all around, not even Steve held back now and Bucky's warm laughter rang out from behind you. You really did love these idiots.

"Wait, that has a ring to it," Wanda exclaimed soon after, "Please tell me you made it to the rank of Captain"

"As if he wouldn't have boasted about that if he had," Sam countered and again everyone laughed. Steve got a little blush on his cheeks, picked up one of the pillows and threw it straight into Sam's face. Since he was just getting up, he lost his balance and fell back on Nat who protested loudly at the weight that was suddenly on her. You patted Steve's shoulders as laughter bubbled up and out of your throat.

"I vote pizza" you finally said, taking pity on Steve and the teasing he had opened himself up for tonight. He had mentioned he was tired and hungry, which explained his responses so well. Steve looked up at you gratefully and leaned back into the couch he was on.

"Of course!" Clint exclaimed, rolling his eyes, "You always choose pizza."

He wasn't wrong of course and you just shrugged with a huge grin on your face. Pizza was always, without fail, your go-to option for take out. Not only did it taste good, it was also easy to order for larger groups since you could easily adjust the toppings. That was a win-win right? Oh, who were you kidding, even if it wasn't the easier option you'd still pick it every single time. It would, however, probably prohibit you from winning the take-out arguments as often as you did if it wasn't considered an easy option by the others as well.

"It's heaven, dude" you joked and Clint pushed you with a chuckle, causing you to slip off the armrest of the couch. You landed hard on your bum. And everyone burst out laughing. Even Bucky, who had been rather quiet up until that point. He held out a hand to help you up and you quickly took up his offer.

As soon as you stood up, you pretended to be angry but it only lasted for about a second. You couldn't help but laugh even though you could practically feel a bruise forming on your bottom. Soon, you were laughing loudly, swallowing a whine about the sore spot.


Teasing Clint was never a good plan. He was far more witty and wicked than you ever were. And a lot faster too. Laughing loudly, you sprinted away from him through the school courtyard and around the corner of the large high school. Of course he knew the place as good as you and there was no safety in the shadows. His fast paced footsteps came rapidly close and you suppressed a giggle, trying to remain silent as you hid behind a large bush.

Unfortunately, spring wasn't in full swing just yet and the greenery wasn't as full as it would be in a few weeks time, making your blue coat easy to spot by your friend. You tried to get away from him again, but the heavy rainfall from earlier that week had made the ground soft and slippery. Because of this, your feet had sunken into the soil and you slipped, falling hard on your ass with a loud shriek.

Clint was out of breath from running and his laughter was nearly soundless as he doubled over next to you, holding his stomach. Your shriek had alerted the rest of your group and soon they surrounded you, all of them laughing at your muddied appearance.

You whined pathetically about your ruined clothes and complained of a painful backside. Bucky winked as he stepped forward, his hands outstretched, promising to fix it for you. You laughed loudly as he wrapped his arms around you, placing his hands firmly on your bum and moving his head down to place a kiss on your lips.


You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat at the happy memory as you carefully sat back down on the armrest of the couch. Forcing a smile back on your face, you remained silent as Natasha made the group pick between pizza or Chinese food.
After that, the calm finally returned and when the food arrived a short while later, Clint pressed play on the video that one of their cousins had made during the wedding. After all, that was the entire plan behind this little get together. A plan which had only temporarily been sidetracked by the long discussion of what to order. Those very discussions were the reason that Natasha usually opted to cook for everyone and you were certain that she was already regretting her choice not to do so this evening.

You glanced sideways at Bucky, wondering if he had been drawn down memory lane lately. Since you heard he was coming back, it had been a rather frequent occurrence and it was turning somewhat inconvenient by now. The memories in and on itself weren't too bad, but having them flash in front of your eyes while you were around others was slightly annoying. It was hard to fake your happiness when a much happier past was forcing itself onto your mind's eye.

Steve seemed to sense your changing, souring mood and gently squeezed your knee, before pulling you into a side hug. This caused you to fall into his lap awkwardly and you both laughed loudly. You hugged him back tightly, before moving off the couch to sit in front of it. It seemed a safer option while you devoured the pizza that Natasha tossed on a plate for you. With your clumsiness, you might've fallen again and wasted your dinner. Now that would be an absolute shame. Food should never be wasted in your opinion. Especially food that tasted as good as this pizza did.

The ceremony had you in tears again as it played out on the screen; you still felt the love that the couple displayed during it. And it was filling the air again in this living room, with Natasha sitting incredibly close to Clint as he whispered in her ear, she blushed at his words and half-heartedly punched his shoulder, making him laugh. You regarded the scene with a smile and when Wanda caught your eye, you winked and she scrunched up her face in adoration in return. The married couple was simply too cute.

By the time that the screen showed fragments of the party, the atmosphere changed back to teasing again when Sam stood up and made everyone agree that he was easily the best dancer of the group. Everyone laughed and both Clint and Steve fought him over the title, while Maria sarcastically told Sam that he sure was. Her boyfriend decided to ignore her tone to fit his narrative and smiled radiantly at her. Wanda, Natasha and Maria then huddled together on the couch and told the men to hold a competition right then and there.

You ignored the entire discussion altogether though, because on the screen you could now see your dance with Bucky unfold. It took your breath away as you watched it, almost as much as it had during the actual dance. Carefully you glanced to the side again, hoping to catch Bucky's reaction to the wedding video, but he wasn't sitting in the chair anymore. Slightly confused you glanced around the room. When had he left? Maria caught your eye and nodded her head in the direction of the balcony. You placed your empty plate on the table and got up off the floor, walking in the direction Maria had nodded towards.

The balcony door was open and through it you could see him standing in the darkness of the evening sky, lit only by the street lights from below. He appeared to be staring blindly into the slowly darkening city. He seemed to be a million miles away, not even noticing as you came closer.

"Hey," you said softly, not wanting to break the stillness that seemed to linger out on the balcony, "What are you doing out here?"

"Thinking," he replied with a small shrug, not looking away from the skyline before him.

"Oh good," you chuckled, "'cause you don't do that enough already," you finished with a smile and he finally turned to face you, his face contorted in confusion.

"What do you mean?" He wondered, a smile playing on his lips. He looked so beautiful in the fading orange light of the sun that had nearly set completely, and you took a moment to take in the sight. He'd gone to the barber, his untamed long locks gone to make way for a shorter cut and his bread reduced to a five o'clock shadow. He looked really good and you could feel your heart skipping a beat. What you wouldn't give to lean against him now and hug him close.

"You tend to overthink things, love," you offered instead, moving closer to the railing beside him and leaning against it. He chuckled at your words, not even trying to deny them.

"How have you been?" You wondered, you haven't seen or talked to him since your conversation over a week ago. You needed some time after that, despite the fact that you didn't even get to the nitty gritty of your problems yet. There was just so much pain between the two of you, that it simply couldn't be addressed in one single conversation.

"Had my first meeting yesterday," Bucky confessed a little uneasy, not looking at you.

"Oh, what was it like?" You really couldn't imagine what it must have been like for him to even begin to unravel all the things he had been suppressing. Not only had you never gone to therapy, but you had never personally had such difficult circumstances in your life either.

He shrugged, staring at his feet. His hands had been shoved deep into his pockets as soon as you had joined him on the balcony. He took his flesh hand out now to comb his fingers through his hair and scratch at his neck. It was hard to realise just how self-conscious his prosthetic still made him. Earlier that evening you'd had some small hope that it was getting better, when he had laid it gingerly in his lap, even though most of his hands had been covered by the sleeves of his sweater.

"It was…hard," he finally confessed in a mere whisper.

"I'm sorry, Buck," you said, wishing that there was something to make this easier for him, for everyone really. If only you could jump through time and leave the hard parts behind you and just get to the easier part.

"She made me recount my entire medical history, my time in the army, they even touched on my childhood," he elaborated carefully, as if his words could scare you off now.

"That's a lot," you weren't sure what to say to that, "Anything surprise you?"

"No, not really. I've had a good life. Until…" he couldn't finish the sentence and you didn't press him. You knew what he meant and knew that there would be a day where he would be able to speak of it. Until then, you didn't need to rush or pressure him. He took the first step to healing. All that was left now was to give him time.

Silence hung between you for a few minutes. Bucky clearly wasn't ready to tell you more, though you had been surprised by his openness so far. You accepted his boundaries and decided to try and get him back inside with the rest of the group. If only to get him out of the funk he seemed to be in.

"Why don't you come back inside?" You reached out a hand for him to take, hoping it would appear as kind to him as it was intended.

"Nah, I'm just gonna go home," he answered after a short silence, then quickly offered you a smile. You realised he was trying to soften his words with that smile and to show him that there were no hurt feelings here, you smiled back.

"Just so you know," you began as you moved back through the door leading inside, "it is really good to have you back." You smiled again, turned around and left him behind on the balcony while you joined the rest of the group in the living room.

Sitting down in the chair that Bucky had vacated earlier, Wanda quickly sat down on the armrest, leaning against you. You smiled brightly at her and she hugged you close. Not long after, Bucky came inside as well, bidding everyone goodbye. Clint walked him out and Sam decided that it was too early for the night to be over. He tried to convince everyone to go out, unfortunately, at least half of the occupants in the room deadpanned him and he agreed to a movie night instead.

All too soon, another discussion broke out between Steve and Sam, one that Maria broke off by informing them that tonight was all about Natasha and Clint. Steve and Sam mentioned that they'd had their day, but it was on deaf ears. They were the minority in this conversation. Of course, Nat and Clint couldn't agree either and you just laughed as you watched them both trying to convince the other by promising favours. Finally, Clint gave in and a movie was chosen while you helped Natasha with snacks and drinks for everyone.

By the time you had settled into a seat and the movie had begun, your phone buzzed. Lazily you leaned forward to grab it from the table, without knocking Natasha over the head with it. She had picked a spot on the floor, right in front of you and she was painting your toenails as the movie played.

'Glad to be back'

Four words, it was all the message entailed, but it caused a huge grin to flash over your features. It wasn't much, but it was a definite start. It felt good and you decided to enjoy the moment for as long as you could. Ignoring the enquiring looks, you locked your phone and continued to watch the movie with the smile fixed on your face.