Flashlight


Chapter fourteen


After a day of back to back meetings, you were ready for the day to end. With a deep sigh you sluggishly shuffled from the office and down onto the streets, feeling dead on your feet. Your back was aching and you were silently cursing your current footwear as you walked to the nearest grocery store. This wasn't your regular store, but it was the most convenient, since you had planned on taking the subway home today to alleviate your aching body.

Naturally, a different grocery store meant that you were left searching for everything you could possibly need and you wandered the aisles fruitlessly. It didn't help either that you didn't know what you wanted to have for dinner. Nothing seemed particularly appetising in your exhausted state. All you wanted was to get home and rest.

It wasn't until you were on your third aimless loop through the small store that all your unplanned plans fell apart and a new plan quickly formed in your head, as you nearly bumped into a sulking Bucky. He stood had been standing stock still in the middle of the aisles, seemingly staring into the void, when you first saw him. You had not expected to see him here and the expression on his face stopped you instantly. The look was all too familiar, one you had seen a long time ago and it worried you.

Bucky had always been a happy and confident guy, ready to take on the world with a smile on his face. Though that side of him had been long since buried in the past. After his time in the armed services and his untimely departure from that, his behaviour had changed drastically. He had often sported the same look he had now and it was a dagger to the heart, because you were aware that he was suffering.

Despite the changes you had seen recently, thinking that he was feeling better, getting happier, the look on his face just proved you wrong. Back then, he pushed away everyone that tried to reach out to help. Although, looking back none of you had really understood what he was going through and what he needed from you. it might have been easier for him to create the distance.

"Buck? You alright?" you spoke in a soft and gentle tone, carefully placing a hand on his forearm when it appeared that he did not notice you.

He nearly jumped out of his skin at the contact, which only proved to you that he truly had been unaware of his surroundings. Upon seeing you, he was quick to apologise and he even tried to force a smile on his face.

"What's going on?" You pressed when he didn't offer any more than that. You didn't need an answer, not really, you just wanted to keep his mind in the present. To distract him as it were.

"Nothing, sorry," he muttered with a shake of his head, "Don't worry."

Him telling you not to worry caused a rather unattractive snort to pass your lips and he regarded you with a face full of confusion.

"Have you forgotten?" You began to explain, "I always worry," you joked and he offered another weak smile, one you returned.

"I just had a meeting," He said, hesitation clear in his voice, before he took a deep breath in, "I mean therapy, I just finished therapy," He shuffled his feet and avoided your gaze. You remained silent and waited for him to regain his bearings, not wanting to push his buttons.

"M'Sure that can't be easy," you offered when he finally looked you in the eye again, he responded with a nod. You weren't entirely sure what to say, but you knew there had to be something you could do.

The silence between the two of you stretched. Neither one seemed willing to move not did either of you know what words to speak, filling the atmosphere with awkward tension. you glanced around at the racks full of groceries, searching for something to break the ice that slowly clawed on both of your bodies when a light bulb suddenly lit, an idea forming in the the back of your mind. Back when you had just moved in together, whenever one of you had a bad day the other would cook a meal and you'd watch a movie. It wasn't anything fancy but spending time together without any pressure from the outside world always lifted both of your spirits.

"Why don't you come home with me and I'll cook you dinner. You can even pick out a movie to watch," you said with a small smile, hoping he would accept your outstretched hand.

What followed was another silence in which you could see Bucky hesitant to answer you. He shuffled his feet once again, looking anywhere but in your direction and it made you wonder if you still had any knowledge of who he was. If you could still turn the knobs and push the buttons that were once so familiar to you.

'Only he can tell you what he needs.'

Sam's words rang in your ears, making you realise that you had done all that you could do. You offered your help, reached out to him and made it clear that he could talk to you if something was bothering him. And now, it was all up to him if he would accept or decline.

"I promise that I will not ask you about the therapy, my offer is not about that," you added softly, offering a genuine smile with the hope of making his decision a little easier, "I just don't like the idea of you being alone when you're down."

The pain in your back was long forgotten as you watched him debate the matter inwardly, before finally agreeing. A bright smile formed on your lips as you looked at him. Perhaps your instincts weren't all that bad after all, you thought to yourself as you began walking down the aisle with him.

When you asked him what he would like for dinner, he shyly asked if you were willing to make him your famous lasagne. Smiling, you nodded in agreement, linked your arms through his and with a new spring in your step you collected the ingredients you needed for the requested dish.

Bucky barely spoke as you collected all the things you needed, but you noticed the distant look in his eyes was slowly disappearing. This dinner wasn't some magic solution, you knew that, but you had at least gotten him to stop his overthinking ways for a little while. You knew he'd talk eventually, and you would wait until he was ready. Which happened to be by the time that dinner was finally on the table. He managed to initiate some small talk and give out a smile or two.

You had him laughing by the time he stood up and made his way to your front door at the end of the night. You were grateful to hear the boisterous sound. You noted that his shoulders were no longer slumped in defeat and his steps were light, as if bearing no weight at all. Progress.

"Thanks for tonight," he said with a genuine smile, that you returned happily.

"You're very welcome," you said and made the spontaneous decision to pull him into a hug. You tensed for a moment until you realised that he has returned the hug without hesitation. After he lightly kissed the top of your head, he pulled back and walked out of the apartment, towards the elevator.

As he moved into the elevator and out of sight, you could not help but feel a tad lighter than you had all week. Things were looking up, even if they were still far from perfect. And perhaps you could finally get your life out of the slump it has been in for the past few years.

You closed the door and made the choice to go straight to bed. Tomorrow, Bucky would be moving into his new apartment and it would be wise to rest up and get some shut-eye.


The following morning you were rushing out of the door, quickly getting into your car and driving the short distance to Pietro's place, which was now Bucky's place too.

You were late. It was well past ten by the time you had reached the street and everyone else was already busy carrying boxes up. You were feeling guilty for sleeping through your alarm and both Wanda and Sam were certain to rub it in. It took your sleep-deprived mind a few long moments of worry before you realised that they were teasing you. Apparently the really work had only started thirty minutes prior to your hasty arrival and they were still busy bringing up the first load of boxes. You chuckled and shook your head, mentally preparing yourself for the rest of the day.

Why was it that the initial feeling of haste never truly left you on the days that you overslept? You had managed to reach your destination and no problems had risen from your tardiness. So why did you feel like you had to run through the day just to catch up? You always hated being late and having to rush and you hated even more how that feeling stuck to you. It's not like it would change anything. Finally, you grabbed one of the boxes and started moving. Standing still wasn't going to help.

Walking into the apartment, you placed the box on top of another one and took a moment to take in the living space. You hadn't been here since Pietro first moved in and it had certainly underwent a bit of a transformation. The then bare walls were painted a stark white and they were covered in pictures and souvenirs of his worldly destinations were displayed on the shelves. The living room was kept neat and you wondered how long Bucky would manage to keep that up before you realised that would be Pietro's problem. It really was a beautiful, warm and cozy place.

In a corner you spotted Steve and Maria working together on assembling a dresser, making rapid progress. They were usually a team during moves. Nobody assembled furniture as quickly as they could.

Two strong, slender arms wrapped themselves around you from behind and a kiss was placed on your cheek. You chuckled and turned to give Wanda's brother a big hug. His dark curly hair was unruly and his slight stubble finished the look. Many women would love to run their hands through that head of hair. He smiled brightly and welcomed you, thanking you for your help.

Back in high school, he had simply been the annoying brother of your friend. But over the years, he had become one of your closest friends. He had been a year ahead of the rest in school and when he graduated, college had dragged him to the other side of the country. He had gotten a scholarship based on his accomplishments in track, and after getting his degree, it was track that had him travel all over the world.

It wasn't until earlier this year that he had finally decided to come home and Wanda had been absolutely ecstatic. They didn't have much family left and she was happy to have him close again. Though you had only managed to see him a handful of times since then, he seemed at least as happy to be back.

You smiled brightly as he released you, congratulating him on his new roommate, before you moved further into the apartment to find Bucky. The beautiful brunette stood in the middle of his new bedroom, amidst an already big number of boxes, looking a little lost. You chuckled upon seeing it. He looked rather cute like that. The sound that escaped your lips made him look up and he seemed relieved as he greeted you.

"You okay?" You asked with a smile.

"It's a lot of stuff," he said incredulously, earning himself another chuckle. You realised that after two years of living out of a suitcase, all these boxes could be overwhelming. You stepped further into the room carefully avoiding all the things that already covered the floor, coming up next to him and looked around.

"Let's just start with organising this lot, give things a place before we get anything else," you offered and looked into the first open box you saw, seeing that it contained books.

You reached into the box and grabbed a few books, putting them on the shelves in the bookcase that Steve and Maria must've already finished. Bucky took a deep breath and followed your lead, helping you empty the first box. While the others continued to bring more boxes and unassembled furniture up, you and Bucky wasted no time and made quick work to arrange and place everything.

Conversation was light, nothing too deep, but you were happy to see his lighter side come out again. To see him smiling brightly and doing so often, it was good. And it appeared to you that you were not the only one sensing this change. Steve definitely moved a little easier in his presence and their back and forth teasing was enough to make everyone laugh.

To speed up the process of putting everything away in their respective places, Sam decided to help in arranging the furniture. Clint crouched down with him as they worked on assembling a closet. Both of them were good at these things, but you knew just how impatient they were. While piecing together the furniture, they cursed endlessly like drunken sailors, the ones you usually see in pirate movies, rowdy and obnoxiously loud.

You smiled and turned away from the sight of the working men, instead stacking the boxes with clothes and linen against the wall where his bed would later be placed. Your mind went over all that you had already done in the last two hours and what was still left to be done. Wrapped up in your own thoughts, you turned and tripped over his discarded tripod that was laying hazardously on the floor. Fortunately, Bucky was quick enough to catch you in his arms and you laughed, shaking your head over your own clumsiness.

"Some things certainly never change," Bucky laughed with you while staring into your eyes with those beautiful blue orbs that held a twinkle in them.

His hands splayed on your back brought back memories and his close proximity made your heart skip a beat. You had your hand placed on his chest to steady yourself and with his own heartbeat thrumming underneath your fingers, you were caught up in the moment. He helped you stand up straight, but neither of you moved away and for a moment you thought of kissing him.

Of course, since the universe didn't wish for that to happen apparently, a loud curse broke the tension and you both hurried towards the doorway. From where you were standing you could clearly see Clint rolling on the floor with laughter, while Sam angrily yelled at the closet they had been working on. In his haste to finish he had slammed the hammer down on his thumb instead of the nail. With everyone laughing at the scene that unfolded before them, Wanda instructed Sam to ice his thumb before announcing that lunch would be ready in a minute.
You took a deep breath and looked up at Bucky who kinked his head, as if to say he was surprised that another moment was interrupted. You could only return the sentiments before walking to the kitchen and washing your hands.


When you finally returned home later that day, you were absolutely exhausted. Immediately dropping down on the couch, you couldn't even bother to remove your coat. Instead you lazily reached for the remote and turned on the tv, ready to watch some mindless show that required zero thoughts from you.

At some point you must have dozed off, because you were suddenly jerked awake by loud knocking. A little dazed, you pushed yourself up and slowly moved towards the door, opening it just a crack. On the other side stood Bucky with a small, nervous smile tugging at his lips. Slightly confused, you opened the door further and invited him inside. He made no move to step over the threshold and you stood silently at the doorway, waiting for him to speak. You were far too tired at the end of this week to take the lead here.

"I…" Bucky started nervously, "I wanted to thank you," he looked down at his feet and you wondered what was making him uncomfortable. Following his gaze you were struck by the realisation that he wasn't hiding his hand and suddenly you came to the conclusion that he had not done so the entire day. Your sleep deprived mind almost made a comment about it, but you luckily caught yourself in time.

"No need," you said instead, "Happy to help."

He nodded, looking up now and staring into your eyes. There was a storm of emotions going on in those blue eyes and you tilted your head to the side, wishing you knew what could've caused it. Though you weren't given all that much time to ponder as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to yours.

You were shocked, confused and barely responded, which caused him to pull back. Instinctively you moved after his lips, but he took a step back and looked down again, leaving you hanging. That did nothing to help with the confusion. Your lips tingled and you felt a smile spread across your face. He had kissed you. It had been short, but good. At least, for you it had been.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have," he muttered and took another step back from you, though this time you were prepared and stopped him by grabbing the lapel of his jacket tightly in your hand.

You stepped over the threshold that separated you now and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you again. Quickly, before you lost your nerve, you kissed him back.

He quickly wrapped you in his arms and deepened the kiss. You stepped back over the threshold, pulling him gently inside of your apartment. Your hands moved from his neck to his cheek and back and breathed in his scent. His arms kept you impossibly close and he moaned into your mouth.

There was a rush of blood in your head that silenced your surroundings and you never wanted this moment to end. Your stomach was busy doing backflips and your heart was running wild inside your chest as your whole body seemed have to honed in on the moving of your lips against his. The kiss was passionate though slow, there was no rush to make it into anything more and you released just how much you had missed kissing this man.

When Bucky finally pulled back, his arms still wrapped tightly around your waist, you were thoroughly out of breath. He pressed his forehead against yours, breathing heavily, and another bright smile broke out on his face, one you could only mirror.

"I've thought about doing this all week," Bucky confessed, placing another peck on your lips.

A giggle passed your lips as you thought the length of time you had been thinking of kissing him. Which was much longer than a week. It was kind of embarrassing, so you opted out of telling him. Now was not the time to be painfully unsexy.

"I wanna do this right," Bucky whispered, his nose brushing your own "Can I please take you out on a date?"

You breathed out a throaty laugh and nodded with a smile. This was not how you imagined your week ending, but you certainly weren't objecting.


A/N: I am currently working against the clock to finish this story before my upcoming stint in the hospital, but my health is working against me a little. Luckily I've got beanstalk007 to help me out! She's worked hard to make this chapter readable for you all!

Feedback is greatly appreciated!