Chapter 2
Don't Waste The Anger, Channel It
"I don't think I can be the Fist of Shadow anymore."
Shen moved his hand off her shoulder and let it fall limp at his side. He turned and slowly sat on his bed, resting his hands on his knees. From what she gathered from his body language, he was expecting her to say something very, very different. Akali didn't know what to do, she had seen him surprised before, but she really wasn't expecting this. Shen was unbreakable, solid rock, always so—so balanced.
"Yes perhaps you're right"
"I am?" Out of everything, Akali wasn't expecting this.
"Taking time away from your duties will allow us to spend time putting you back in equilibrium. But who will take over your responsibilities for the time being? Kennen? No, he has too much to do as it is. Lilliana? But she's investigating something for me at the moment. I suppose I could split the work, but would that cause too many complications? I think if I—"
While Shen hashed out this idea to himself, Akali's world was still. Utterly, completely still. She heard nothing, knew nothing except that Shen did not take what she said how she expected at all. She hated this, hated disagreeing with him, hated that he didn't understand, hated the balance he seeks. But she knew it was what she wanted. What she thought down to her very bones was right. With determination, she pulled herself together.
Craning to look up at her mentor, who was now standing in front of her, Akali's words came out tumbling.
"Shen, that's not what I meant. What I am saying is that I…I don't believe I can be here anymore." She awkwardly gestured at the room. "I don't agree with your way of doing things."
That came out a bit harsher than she intended.
"Oh."
That reaction told Akali everything she needed to know.
His walls were back up. His defenses at the ready. He was no longer Shen, but The Eye of Twilight.
Shen didn't move an inch. His voice a blade, he asked, "And what teachings exactly do you disagree with? And why have you never mentioned this before?"
There was a bite to his words that made Akali feel like he underestimated her, like he thought she was some little kid to scold. But no, she was strong. She was a survivor, a warrior, and she wouldn't be looked down upon for having different beliefs in what was right and wrong.
"Well Master I think you know exactly how I feel about how we—how you operate things here. Every time I bring it up though you find that balance is the excuse for everything."
"Balance is the factor behind everything Akali, you know that."
Her voice rising, Akali continued on, "So when we apprehended those filthy murderers at Bilgewater you just gave them to the guards for sake of balance? "
"Yes Akali. I showed mercy and restraint. The people who can give justice to them are the guards and—"
"You and me both knew that those guards are weak. They are easily bribed, and yet you reassured me that this is how we maintain the oh so powerful 'balance'". Her voice cracked.
"They needed trials, girl."
The nickname brought Akali to a level of rage she had never felt before.
"Trails? Trails you say? We saw them kill those people! We knew without a shadow of a doubt! Yet you insisted we give them up to those trash guards. You said I should trust you! But guess what Shen. Those people escaped." She took a breath, her voice now quiet. "They went on to kill families of innocent people, until I stopped them again."
"Akali-".
"No Shen. Just stop. I should have stuck a blade right between their eyes after what they did. Along with all the other people we've shown mercy to that didn't deserve it. Inaction has been the Kinkou's greatest weakness ever since your father died! It's like you've become afraid that we are made of glass!"
Shen let out a sharp exhale. "Get out."
"Gladly. I just hope you sleep well tonight with the knowledge that you had the power to stop innocent people from dying. But you know what, you didn't, and I think it's because you're a coward."
Akali moved towards the door, but Shen blocked it before she could get halfway across the room.
Shen's voice faltered. "Akali I have never been more…" he ran a hand down his masked face and then settled it on the back of his neck. "I just...I always…"
Shen began to reach for his mask once more.
He began to lift it up off his face.
But she wouldn't be baited with her curiosity at seeing his features.
So Akali strode around him.
And she left.
Shen had never thought he would have these kind of feelings, these strange alien emotions, ever again. He had purged them from his system so long ago, it was ridiculous someone could force them back down his throat and into his heart again. Absolutely ridiculous. But here he was, with his mask in his hand, wondering if she would ever come back. Wondering when he started to rely on her so much. Wondering if he could lead without her. Wondering why he had reached for his mask. But what he was wondering most of all, was if she was right about him.
Shen had never thought he would have these kind of feelings, these strange alien emotions, ever again. He had purged them from his system so long ago, it was ridiculous someone could force them back down his throat and into his heart again. Absolutely ridiculous. But here he was, with his mask in his hand, wondering if she would ever come back. Wondering when he started to rely on her so much. Wondering if he could lead without her. But what he was wondering most of all, was why he had felt so strongly that he needed her to see him without the mask.
