Chapter 4

The Fist of Shadow Was My Mom. I Do Things Differently

That curious little ward had used up quite a bit of Akali's limited time left at the Order. She knew Shen was going to try and come find her, which was to be avoided at all costs, but still found herself feeling bad about disappointing Shima. The girl obviously just had a lot to learn, and Akali always loved helping the eager ones. She supposed now she wouldn't have to worry about that. Teaching wasn't really the path she saw herself on anyways.

Akali made a mental list of the things in her bedroom and concluded there wasn't anything worth going back for. She had left her old weapons, a couple meditation scrolls, and a few bags of change, but nothing particularly valuable.

The only thing that she considered retrieving was a beautiful water dragon tapestry Kennen got her when she became the Fist of Shadow. It reminded her of the ways her mother spoke of Akali's strength, how she would compare it to a valuable tool.

"Come Akali", her mother would say in a low tone, "you must learn to harness your own strength before you hope to harness others."

She couldn't help noticing the obvious ways her mother and Shen were similar. They both were always reminding her, always looking out for her. Well, Shen was a bit more protective of Akali and less of a free spirit than her mother, but their values were more or less the same. She remembered them working together before, when she was still just a young girl. Back then Shen was still the quiet, indecisive leader trying his hardest to follow his father's footsteps. He still could still be hesitant about the unknown now, but it was something Akali respected—unlike how her mother would sigh at it.

It was silly, thinking about him like this, the sliver of trust he had with her before was probably shattered now, but Akali couldn't find it in herself to care. She wasn't obligated to keep her thoughts in check anymore, wasn't obligated to have an inhumanly balanced mind. But even if it was not an obligation, she did realize this—the wondering and dreaming of what could have been—was a waste of time.

Perhaps that was another reason she found herself wanting that tapestry so badly. It reminded her of all her success that she got from her training here, of all dreams that had been achieved. Becoming the Fist of Shadow, mastering her technique, becoming inspirational to the wards. She would also admit (but only to Kennen) that she wanted the tapestry because it felt a bit like a good luck charm to her. Almost as if the dragon itself was rewarding her for her triumphs.

But Akali never turned back towards her quarters to get the woven decoration.

She supposed she would have to make her own luck now.


Shen strode away from the three young acolytes, his emotions unreadable after they had hesitantly told him about Shima's strange experience with Akali. They didn't seem to suspect she was leaving, and for that he felt some relief, as he wasn't sure he had a solid enough plan for when the news got out to the rest of the Order.

Should he not be able to get Akali to stay though, he knew he would have to announce her leaving somehow. He could leave the rumors to settle for a while after she's been gone, but it would take too long. It was unlikely many would notice Akali leaving as strange considering she goes on missions frequently, and he wasn't sure keeping everyone out of the loop was a good idea.

So this is it…she's really leaving.

The realization seemed to slice his heart open, revealing his most vulnerable emotions and throwing his rational planning aside. What would he do without her? How would he be balanced with no Fist of Shadow, with no right-hand, with no Akali? His pace increased.

I have to find her. I must find her.

He redirected himself to the wing of the Kinkou that contained permanent living quarters. The paper walls turned to stone as he quickened his pace once again and found himself in front of Akali's room.

He hadn't been inside many times. In fact he never really went inside any of the others' rooms. It felt like an invasion of privacy to be going into her space. He reminded himself that she didn't exactly consider this to be her home any longer. So, despite the strange feeling in his chest, he slid the master key into its lock and revealed her room.

It was simple, but quite customized, showing how long she had been there. Akali had always accounted for quality over quantity, so despite there being few decorations, everything was immaculate and built to last. She had heavy fabrics, dyed soft creams, making up the small bed, and a sturdy wood desk pushed against the wall, right next to the modest window that overlooked the training grounds. He was a bit surprised at the amount of papers stacked about, particularly the sketches of weapon ideas that appeared meticulously thought-out.

He didn't know she had interest in things like that. In fact, he realized he knew next to nothing about her past her abilities in the field. Did she want to try a new weapon? Did she have a favorite food or flower? Did she tell those things to Kennen? Or perhaps to the others in the guild? An unknown emotion bubbled within him. He angerly stamped it down, logic taking control.

What am I doing? She's not going to come back here. I'm not someone who could persuade her to stay even if she did. This is ridiculous.

Kennen could though. In fact, Shen wondered if the Yordle had already predicted his friend's actions. They had perhaps even spoken of it. Yes, Shen thought, speaking to Kennen is the best course of action right now. Even if I did find Akali she would have no reason to listen to me. But Kennen…he always knows how to calm her fire.

So, Shen checked to make sure his emotions were pushed to an abandoned part of his mind. Checked that they were still shriveled up where no one, not even himself, could find them. He made his way to search for his Yordle associate.


She had found herself at the mess hall.

Strangely enough, she realized this would be the most difficult place for her to leave behind.

People called her name in joyous greeting when she walked inside and, even for just a moment, she pretended this was a day like any other. She let herself wildly smile back at her peers. She let herself ruffle a favorite student's hair. She let herself feed the cook's dog table scraps. She didn't sit down though, for fear that she wouldn't be able to leave if she talked too long with the ambitious ward, Hiromi. Or the vivacious scribe who goes by Hido. Or even the bumbling kitchenhand Ogai, whose face turned red whenever they spoke.

No, she knew she could only stay here so long. So she went to the back of the kitchen to gather some supplies for her journey to the next town. For her journey away from here.

The Cook gave a shout when she went back into his pantry, too used to her shenanigans of eating all his supplies, but stopped protesting at the sight of her seldom face. Akali grabbed a sturdy cloth bag and began filling it, relieved he hadn't asked what was wrong.

She grabbed the practical items first: bread, medical herbs, precooked meat, legumes, and a canteen of water. She moved on to her pleasures then, hastily grabbing a variety of dried fruit, mini fig cakes wrapped in cloth, and crunchy cinnamon biscuits. When he noticed her packing, Ogai even brought some noodle soup for her in a small flask. He knew it was her favorite.

She spared one last glance at the mess hall, with it's lively chatter, warm kotatsu, smiling faces, and delectable foods. She would miss having this place as an escape very much.

A rollercoaster of emotions bombarded Akali when she realized nothing was standing in the way from her leaving anymore. Everything was packed, and she had told Shen what her intentions were, even if he didn't accept them. She wouldn't let herself wish he had reacted differently though. It would change nothing, and she knew it.

So, with a step through the double doors of the Kinkou Order, the Fist of Shadow became the Rouge Assassin.


Hello to my lovely readers! So sorry it took such a while for me to update. I was on vacation and was unable to bring my laptop with me to work on this fanfic, so writing it took a lot longer than I thought. From now on, I will be posting weekly! Hopefully with longer chapters too! Have a lovely rest of your summer, and I would love to hear your thoughts on what I can improve on.