This fanfic contains a lot of swearing, smoking, violence and various other mature themes.
Jasper, Peridot, Lapis Laszuli, Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Peedee, Kiki, Gunga, Onion, Sadie and Lars are the property of Rebecca Sugar and Cartoon Network.
This is an AU where gems differ slightly from canon in that they have a measurable heart beat as well as other small changes that you will likely notice, I'm not mentioning all of them here because spoilers and I'm lazy. Mask Island is much bigger than canon version.
Day 6 of this story is the day of "Super Watermelon Island".
This fanfic is written from the perspective of E. K. Brooks. Thou hath been informed-ETH!
Chapter 7: Red and blue
Day 17
I woke up before Jasper and made a cup of coffee before checking on the nets. To my dismay, they were all empty. Maybe the windless night had something to do with it. I decided to take a skinny dip to cheer myself up and stretch out my sore muscles. I spent about fifteen wonderful minutes diving and swimming around inside the coral reef before my stomach told me it was time for breakfast. I pulled open a can of Chili con Carne and started to eat it cold when something zipped across the sky. I frowned, thinking it might be a plane, but it had moved too fast. It returned a few minutes later, stopped far off and then started speeding straight for the island. It passed overhead and I got a good look at it. It was a sort of balloon shaped red ship – a space ship!
"JASPER! A SHIP! A SPACE SHIP!" I yelled excitedly.
"What!? Where?!" she tumbled out of the tent, looking around.
"It flew right over us! It was red and had a yellow triangle on it!"
"A Roaming Eye!?" she stopped suddenly and looked confused and then terrified. "Fuck!" she shouted.
"Wa-what? Is it bad? What?"
"They're gonna try to arrest me!" a shaft of ice pierced my heart making me unable to speak.
"I'm going to be detained by a squad of stupid fucking rubies? Oh, if my gem was whole it'd be no problem, but now…" she covered her face with her hands "Grr! I hate being this weak!"
"Wait, if your gem was whole, you could take out a group of gems and a ship? By yourself?!"
"Yes!" she screamed, waving her arms as if it was obvious. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I was impressed.
"Can't we just hide in the jungle?" she looked at me as if I was insane.
"Hide?! From rubies?!"
"Yes, hide! Quickly, I can hear it coming back!" I grabbed her by the hand and tried to pull her along. "Come on for fuck's sake!" she growled and started running towards the trees. A few seconds later, the ship came into view and stopped, hovering over the sand a hundred or so yards to the left of where we were standing. A hatch at the top opened and five little red people jumped out. I gasped in surprise.
"They're so small!" I whispered. Jasper shushed me through gritted teeth. The red people started talking to each other and I could clearly make out what they said.
"Oh, look at the trees!" one said.
"Do you think there are bugs here? I don't want to see any more bugs!"
"I'll squash them as if they were… eh… bugs!"
"Yeah! BUG-SMASH!"
They sounded… like children?
"The old maps say this place has a warp pad, the leader of the earth mission might be here. Spread out and look!" another one commanded. They must be in charge.
"Yes Ruby!" the other four shouted and started to move toward the jungle, one of them heading directly towards us.
"Are they children?" I asked Jasper in a low whisper. She gave me a disgusted look and shook her head "No, they're just dense as shit"
"I have an idea! You, go hide further in!" I hissed and then stepped out of the jungle, not looking back but hearing her growl at me and then footsteps moving away.
I pretended to be heading towards my camp and after about five seconds someone called out.
"Hey you, human!"
I turned around, screamed and fell to the ground, crawling backwards away from the ruby, who looked at me with obvious arrogance.
"Have you seen a Jasper around here?"
"A what?" I asked, looking around as if I was scared.
"She looks like this" I gasped, not needing to fake it this time, as she started to glow and then expand until a perfect replica of Jasper stood there, the only difference being that this one was red and their gem was on her shoulder."… but with white hair"
"Uhh… Yes… she was here. Why are you looking for her? "I asked.
"Yellow Diamond wants the traitor caught and returned to home world for questioning!" they shifted back to their original shape and two other rubies joined us, one of them was the one who had given the order to search.
"This human has seen Jasper!" the shoulder gem ruby reported to their superior.
"Where is she now?!" the leader demanded.
"She uh, she left like a week ago, I th-think. She used that teleport thingy in the jungle, and then I uh, I b-blew it up. I d-didn't want her to come back. She had a n-n-nasty temper"
"That sounds like Jasper alright… Did she say where she was going? "
"Uh… I heard her say something about… Siberia?" I invented wildly.
"Ok, that's useful information human. You go about your business!"
"Back to the ship, rubies!" shoulder gem shouted.
I stared as they walked away, piling back into the ship. It took off at an impossible speed. I waited for a few minutes to see if they would come back, but there was no sight of them.
I ran to look for Jasper, feeling kind of proud of my spur of the moment performance. The little red rubies really were dumb though, so maybe it was more their lack of wits that allowed me to succeed.
I found Jasper by a huge purple and white geode.
"I can't believe this!" she shouted "Yellow Diamond thinks I'm a traitor?!"
"But, you're not, are you? So it's a mistake, right? Can't you just tell her that?" I panted.
"No! A Diamond's word is law! If she thinks I'm a traitor then that's it! I'm as good as dead!"
"What, so there's no appeal? No hearing? No trial?"
"If I'm extremely lucky yes, but it'll end the same way… Or worse. There are worse punishments than just being executed. You have no idea what it was like after the war. Gems suspected of being part of the rebellion were shattered in the streets! I know, because I was there, I was part of the execution squad… I followed orders… One Aventurine in my troop hesitated and she was sentenced to be harvested! She was my friend, and I assisted in her arrest! Because those were the orders…"
"Jasper, I'm so sorry"
"After all I've done for Yellow Diamond… My life, dedicated to her. And she just assumes I'm a traitor?! GRAAAAH!" she punched the geode, cracking it in two and making herself glitch.
"Jasper, take it easy! I know this is terrible news but please! Think of your gem!"
She roared as loud as I'd ever heard her, stomping back and forth like a trapped animal.
"WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?! I can't go home! I have no home! I'm exiled!" she stopped and roared again, pounding the ground with her fists and making me almost lose my balance. She collapsed to her knees, swearing loudly. Suddenly she fell silent and I was worried that it had all been too much and she had passed out, but then she looked up.
"What am I, if I'm not a soldier in home world's forces?" she asked in a voice devoid of any emotion. She sat up and looked down at her chest. "This symbol" she tore it off as easy as if it was a sticker, but I heard the rip of fabric. "I have been proud to wear it for more than five thousand years!" she threw it on the ground and stamped on it, creating a small crater in the dirt. "The secrets I have kept for her, all the times I have done unspeakable things to her enemies, how dare she doubt my loyalty!" she roared again, but this time it ended in a sob. Her body shook as she wailed, huge tears rolling down flushed cheeks. My heart broke to see her like this, but I didn't dare approach her. She rolled over onto her side and continued to cry. I stood stock still, having no idea what to say or do.
After what felt like an eternity, she seemed to finally calm down.
"Jasper?" I asked hesitantly. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" I tensed up waiting for the answer.
"Stay…" she said in a brittle voice. My shoulders relaxed. If this had been my best friend, I would have rushed over to give her a long hug. But I walked up to her slowly, my eyes tearing up. I had no idea how she must be feeling. I squatted down by her head. Her hair was covered in leaves and dirt and laid across her face so I couldn't see her eyes. Her body looked so dejected, hopeless. I swallowed hard and leant forward to brush the hair away. When I saw her face, so contorted in grief and sadness, my own tears started falling.
"Oh, sweetheart…"I mumbled, stroking her across the forehead and cheek. "I'm so, so sorry"
She hugged herself and drew her knees up to her stomach, and I sat down properly.
"Here" I patted my leg and she moved her head into my lap. I was too lost in her pain to feel embarrassed about this very intimate position. She needed this right now. My social embarrassment could go fuck itself. I continued to stroke her forehead and wiped away some dirt from her cheek. She cried silently into my lap and I into her beautiful mane.
"I am… nothing without my Diamond…" she whispered after a while, hands gripping her sides tighter.
"You are not nothing" I soothed. "You are a gem warrior, powerful and proud and you will get through this"
"How?" she sobbed.
"By not hiding away from how much it hurts right now. Your leader has betrayed you on a whim. Someone you respected over all others, has turned their back on you. I can see your heart is breaking. Let it break"
A new wave of violent sobs claimed her and I held her head, waiting for the storm to subside. I cried too, unable to stop myself from empathizing with this torrent of loss.
After more than half an hour, Jasper fell silent and made a move to sit up. I wiped my eyes.
"How do you feel?" I asked softly.
"Tired…" she answered, her voice hoarse.
"Let's go back to camp"
We made it to the beach before rain began to fall. I stopped. Jasper looked at me questioningly.
"I just need to stand in the rain for a bit, you go ahead, go rest" she turned without a word and crept inside the tent. The rain increased from a drizzle to a downpour and I stood there, eyes closed. Everything hurt. My head, shoulders, stomach and legs were in agony. I wished the rain was warm like my shower at home, so that I could burn the ache away. But just as I told Jasper to not hide from her loss, I told myself to not try to run from my own symphony of pain. It had been ages since my body was in such overwhelming discomfort. There was a time when this had been my every day, but as I had recovered from my depression and got myself sorted out, the pain had almost disappeared. It was hard to describe to someone who had never experienced it, but it was akin to the body aches you get when you have the flu. Nowadays this only happened when I'd had an emotionally demanding day and today was certainly one of those days. The confrontation with the rubies had been taxing enough, but Jasper's breakdown had been so… heart-wrenchingly sad. My tears mixed with the cold rain and eventually I began to shiver. I decided to go to the tent. I was completely soaked, but I knew there were dry clothes in the Luggage. There was no room inside to hang the ones I was wearing though, so I just took them off and left them on the sand.
Jasper was lying with her head toward the cliff wall, so she didn't see me crawl inside the tent naked. I dried myself off as best I could with the towel I had used to wrap the rock and then put on some dry clothes. I lit a cigarette at the mouth of the tent and to my relief, my headache subsided almost immediately. 'Good' I thought, feeling my shoulders relax too as the nicotine hit my system. I had a drink of water and then lay down on top of my sleeping bag, looking out at the rain. An old song in my grandmother's tongue came to me and I sung it quietly:
"Historien. Har du hört historien? Om ett frö som vägrade, som bara gror och gror igen. Om det sker att trampas ner, så växer det mer och mer och mer. Om man krossar det, delas det i fler. Och fler, och fler, och fler. Om det möter våld och tvång, så växer ur fröet fram en sång, som kan höras i jorden gång på gång. På gång, på gång, på gång. För där, i jorden, där spelar en dröm. Där porlar ständigt visor om frihet, ström efter ström. Och med vindens hjälp, förs markens musik ut över havet. Den styr mot land och når till en strand! Melonia. Melonia! Där en hög med frusna frön, kan bli pelargonia. Där finns liv och sol och frid, istället för död och stål och skrik. Där kan man slå rot och växa fri, för evig evig tid. Kanske är det dit vi ska en dag? Kanske blir det du? Kanske blir det jag?"*
It soothed me to think of my grandmother at this time. She was a short, plump lady with thin white hair and thick glasses, the very best at reading stories and the one who had taught me 'the old language' as she called it. Amazingly she was still alive at 97. I decided I would go visit her when I got off the island.
I slept for a long time. The rain had stopped when I woke up. My body hurt less now, sleep being the cure all that it is. I had a cigarette and looked at Jasper who was still asleep. Or I thought she was. Her red rimmed eyes looked at me and they looked darker than before, but maybe that was just a shadow.
"Hey" I said, turning my body to face her. "How are you feeling?"
She was silent for a long time before she rasped; "Empty…"
I stubbed out the cigarette and crawled inside the tent, lying down on my side, my face less than a foot away from Jasper's. Up close, I could see fresh tear tracks on her orange cheeks.
I sighed in sympathy with her. She looked so unbelievably sad. Well, her entire world had just gone up in flames, so it was only to be expected. But it hurt me so to see this powerful woman so down. At the same time it was amazing that she was sharing this side of her with me. She could so easily have gone in the other direction and just shut me out. Or worse.
"The emptiness will fade" I said softly, she wiped her eyes roughly with her hand.
"How do you know that?" she asked hoarsely.
"Well" I took a deep breath "I will not claim that I know exactly what you're going through, but I have experienced betrayal… and loss before"
She looked at me, asking me to continue with her eyes.
"It wasn't another person that betrayed me, it was my own body… I had… a tumor in my head. The doctors took it out, and it'll never come back but… I was so terrified I disappeared behind a mask of anger, to protect myself. It felt like a parasite had lived in my most private place and I felt so… violated and alone. It made me question who I was and what the world was. I looked for a reason as to why it had happened, and there wasn't one. It was all just random. There was nothing for me to blame, so I blamed everyone and everything. I was so angry and I took it out on the people closest to me and I lost them… Eventually I got help and I had to deal with all the feelings the anger had hidden, and all the things I had never told anyone from before the tumor. It was very hard. The hardest thing I have ever had to do" I sighed as memories flashed on my internal screen. "Then things started to get better and I found myself again. Or, no. I don't think I knew myself before this all happened. But I do now"
Jasper looked stunned.
"It has taken me a very long time to be able to say this, but… I feel grateful for the tumor. It forced me to look inside and find the truth about who I am. And that person is… enough"
I looked Jasper in the eye, trying hard to emphasize my next words.
"One of the most valuable lessons this all taught me, is that running away from how you feel only makes it worse. That's why I told you to let your heart break before. Even though it is so hard to deal with the pain of this situation, it's better to do it now. And…" I reached out my right hand and placed it on her left cheek bone. "You are not alone. I'm here for you, Jasper…" I used my thumb to wipe away some tears. Then I was suddenly embraced in a hug so powerful I felt my ribs creak, Jasper's head pressing in between my head and shoulder. My head was in her hair and my nostrils filled with her wonderful scent. I put my arms around her head and pulled her closer and she started sobbing. My body moved with hers as her emotions claimed her. I stroked her hair with one hand, supporting her head with the other. I could feel her ragged breath on my neck and chest and felt my shirt become wet, but I didn't care, I just held on.
I had no idea how much time had passed when she finally calmed down. I put my cheek against her forehead and asked; "How do you feel?"
She drew in a shaky breath. "T-tired… but lighter…"
I smiled and said; "Good, I'm glad" and felt it. "You should rest now… It's been a rough day" I brushed a lock from her cheek. She unwound her arms from my body and closed her eyes and sighed as her body relaxed. I had just sat up and stretched awkwardly in the small space, when she whispered;
"Thank you"
My chest swelled with emotion and I squeezed her hand, smiling broadly.
Outside the tent, I stretched out properly. My body ached in a different way now. Up in the jungle, it had been despair, frustration and betrayal but in the tent it had been more of a release. I started walking along the edge of the water, waves erasing my footprints as I moved further and further away from the tent. I felt a need to be alone with my thoughts for a while. Jasper would be OK for a good while, I could only imagine how exhausted she must be at this moment.
'Poor darling' I thought, and was surprised at the term of endearment. I had called her 'sweetheart' up in the jungle, too… Was I falling in love with her? I stopped in my tracks. Gods, that sounds like something I'd do yeah… Fall in love with an alien that'd leave first chance they got. But… she couldn't go back to home world now, she'd be killed. What would she do when her gem had been fixed? Would she leave and go… somewhere? Anywhere? Get away from earth? My heart sank. If that was her plan, then that was her plan. And I'd just have to deal with it. It was a relief to think like that. Maybe that 'living in the moment' stuff really was where it was at… Que sera, sera.
When I reached the end of the beach, I turned around and walked back. My stomach rumbled. When I reached the camp I built up a new fire, having a bit of trouble getting it started because the wind started to get up. I made a cup of coffee before having a bowl of instant oatmeal and nuts. I pulled out my note pad and the satellite picture of the island, weighing them down with rocks so they didn't blow away. I had been tracking our progress on finding the warp pad as best I could on the map. I estimated that we had covered roughly thirty percent of the island. I knew the area that we were going to search next required us to go up a long hill. I grinned, thinking of how much I had hated walking up the stairs to my first apartment on the fifth floor. This hill looked higher than that. It was going to be a draining climb for me, but probably an exhausting one for Jasper. Maybe there was a less steep path somewhere? I'd have to scout it out tomorrow, I was too tired now. I sighed deeply and leaned back on my hands. The sky looked less ominous, some shafts of pinkish golden light piercing the clouds far out to sea. The sun must be starting to set then. My eyes itched with tiredness and I decided to go to bed. I warmed my stone up and brought it into the tent with me. I yawned hugely as I lay down. Hopefully the rain had brought the fish out and there'd be something in the nets tomorrow. Jasper grunted something in her sleep and turned over to face me. Her face looked so peaceful. I smiled and closed my eyes.
*Längtan till Melonia: watch?v=DcW0ySBswb0
Translation from Swedish:
The story.
Have you heard the story
About a seed that refused
That only grows again and again
If it's trodden down
It only grows more and more and more
If it's crushed it divides into more
And more and more and more
If it meets violence and coercion
From the seed comes a song
That echoes in the earth again and again
Again and again and again
Because in the soil a dream plays
There are songs of freedom
Stream after stream
And with the help of the wind
The earth's song is brought out over the sea
It steers towards land
And reaches a beach
Melonia! Melonia!
Where a heap of frozen seeds
Becomes pelargonium.
There is life and sun and peace
Instead death and steel and screams
There you can take root and grow free
For all eternity
Perhaps we will go there someday?
Maybe it will be you?
Maybe it will be me?
