"Ana?" Christian asked, his voice laced with panic.
I was kneeling bent over the toilet, and he helped hold all my hair back as I threw up profusely. I couldn't remember the last time I had been physically sick like this, and it felt horrible.
After I had finished, he got me a glass of water, before carrying me back to our bedroom where he laid me down.
"Was it something you ate?" He asked
I nodded. "My mom bought round a banoffee cheesecake. It must have been off."
This irritated him.
"Why the fuck would she bring you round a rotten cheesecake? Making you ill like that."
I rubbed his arm in comfort.
"I don't think it was purposeful Christian. It just made me feel sick is all. Maybe something in there didn't agree with me."
He shook his head, before kissing me on the forehead.
"Get some sleep sweetheart," he said softly, and I almost swooned on the spot at the nickname.
Sweetheart.
"I'll be here when you wake up," he promised.
He kissed me then, gently on the lips. He stroked my hair softly until I fell fast asleep.
When I woke up in the morning, Christian was indeed right there, upright and working on his laptop. Freshly shaved with teeth brushed and showered. I checked the time on my phone, and it wasn't even 7am.
"How early do you wake up?" I asked, stretching with a chuckle.
"Five or six," he shrugged.
I rubbed my feet against the soft sheets, curling up like a bunny. I felt warm and content and inexplicably…happy. Waking up with Christian next to me was something I hadn't known I'd needed, but it was a beautiful welcome.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, stroking my hair and closing his computer.
He turned to face me and settled down, propped up on one elbow.
"Better," I admitted. "Especially now you're here."
I reached up a hand for him to hold and he took it, running his fingers over my own softly.
"I wish it was like this every morning," I said, leaning closer to him.
"I'll try and go in to work later," he said gently, laying down in the bed and leaning closer to me also.
He kissed me then, slower at first and then much deeper. As he pried my tongue open with his own, his hands came up to my face, rubbing the sides of my cheeks with his fingertips. It felt deeply intimate, and the stirrings of desire started up in my lower stomach. I parted my legs, moving one to hitch over his waist and he responded in full, gripping my thigh with his strong hand and kneading gently.
"I want you," I whispered.
He smiled against my lips.
"How?"
"You on top of me," I murmured into his mouth.
I was only wearing one of his old t-shirts so when his hand etched up my thigh further and slipped between my legs, I gasped.
"You're already ready for me," he smirked, touching and teasing me gently.
I moaned louder, as he continued to touch me in ways I had only ever dreamed about. When he crawled on top of me and settled himself inside me, I raked his back gently with my nails which made him moan aloud.
"Ana, I don't think you have any idea how good you feel," he moaned into my neck, which turned me on even more.
"I know how good you feel," I countered, wrapping my legs around tighter to get deeper access.
I closed my eyes, letting morning but sensation and pleasure guide me and when he brought his hands back to rub me, I became completely undone.
We had breakfast together afterwards, blueberry muffins and eggs made by Grace. The food was delicious, but I was halfway through my cup of coffee when I started to feel my stomach churn, similar to last night. I placed my coffee down, taking a few deep breaths and willing the nausea to go away. Unfortunately, there was no wishful thinking that was getting rid of it and so I excused myself and went to the bathroom, where I threw up once more.
"Ana?" Christian asked, knocking on the door a few minutes later.
I told him not to come in; the nausea had been bad, and I looked a mess in that moment. He ignored me anyway, and helped me off the floor, pulling me toward him.
"I'm worried about you," he said, kissing my forehead.
"I'm okay," I insisted, even though I knew I was not.
I was feeling woozy and lightheaded, and this sickness definitely didn't feel like any bug I had had before. Bug vomiting was more frequent and violent. This was intermittent and accompanied by terrible nausea beforehand.
After I got cleaned up, Christian made me promise to call him if I got sick again and said he would schedule an appointment with his doctor if the sickness had not subsided in a few days. Fortunately, after feeling sick I immediately started to feel better, and I attended college as normal and came home later on in the day.
My mom called again a few days later, asking if I wanted to stop by and have lunch with her. I told her that I was busy, which was a lie. Truthfully, I just didn't have much to say to her at the moment. She had made her position on my situation very clear. Christian was a predatory older man, and I was an innocent ingenue who had been seduced and trapped.
Instead, I went out for cocktails on Friday night with Kate, Jose and Cassie. For some reason however, the smell of the alcohol was turning my stomach. By now, it had been a good five days since I had been sick, and I assumed whatever it was had passed quickly. I pushed away the cocktail and opted for a mock-tail instead and thankfully, the nausea subsided, and I wasn't actually sick. Still, I worried about it enough to put a damper on the rest of my evening. In addition to the sickness, I had also started feeling lightheaded and dizzy at intermittent times, but I had ignored it as just been stressed. I vowed that if I didn't feel better the next day, I would tell Christian to call his doctor.
Saturday morning arrived and I just like I feared, I was sick. Christian was now extremely concerned and after he helped me clean up and get back into bed, he started to ask me some questions.
"Have you got any other symptoms?" He asked, as he stroked my forehead and hair softly.
I told him about being dizzy, and then he asked if I was sore anywhere. I found his question random and confusing, but then I remembered that my breasts had felt a little sore recently, but that was always due to my period.
My period.
I sat up suddenly, and Christian steadied me.
"I haven't had my period," I whispered.
He nodded, as though he expected my response. "When was it due?"
I picked up my phone and looked at my tracker. It had been due quite a few weeks ago, but in the chaos of everything that happened, I had completely forgot. That, and sometimes they could be irregular anyways.
"Do you think I could be…" I trailed off, too scared to even say the words out loud.
He kissed my forehead softly and held my hand.
"I think so," he admitted. "I'll go to the store now, okay? Don't worry Ana, I'm here for you. Always."
I nodded, feeling too numb to speak.
The wait for Christian at the store was agonising. I couldn't stay in bed and so I wondered around the kitchen, making myself ginger tea to help with the nausea. My hands were shaky as I did so, and I only managed a few steps before pacing again. Eventually, Christian came back 20 minutes later with a huge bag full of all different types of pregnancy tests. I balked at them, and he pulled me into his arms.
"Whatever the outcome, I'm here with you," he whispered, kissing my forehead. "Always. I promise you Ana."
I nodded, and we headed upstairs together where thankfully I needed to pee. I took two pregnancy tests in succession and covered them with the wrappers as I waited the thirty seconds for it to develop. After I had done that, I scurried out to Christian, my heart beating like a trapped hummingbird.
"I'm scared," I said, trembling as I fell into his arms.
He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his string arms around my stomach as he kissed my neck. This small gesture felt like heaven, and I felt the warmth from his touch radiate from head to toe.
"I'm here for you. Forever Ana," he whispered.
"I can't look," I whispered back. "Will you?"
He nodded, taking my hand as we walked back to the bathroom together. Christian wasted no time in checking, and I covered my eyes with my hands, petrified. When I heard his deep intake of breath, I already knew what the test said. Before I had opened my eyes, I felt Christian place the rest in my hand as he took the other in his own.
"It's positive Ana," he murmured. "You're pregnant."
