"And lastly, there was a misprint on today's cafeteria menu."Meat Larf" should read "Meat Lard."" Mr Muffin, our teacher, says. "Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin! Mr. Mufflin!" Fanboy and Chum Chum say together. "Yes Purple...Kid?" Mr. Muffin sighs. "Which juice box goes best with meat larf?" Fanboy asks. Chum Chum then adds on to Fanboy's question. "Red or white grape?" Mr. Muffin groans in annoyance, "If they hold these two back another year, I'm putting in for early retirement." Fiona, sitting in a desk between the boys looked at them, while they giggled after the question. "I didn't know you two can make a teacher want to retire on the first day of school." Fanboy, looks at her, stopping his giggles, "Oh just wait Fi, you'll learn more about us each and everyday your here." She look away thinking of how that would go. "Oh boy..." Fiona then puts her head down in defeat. Mr. Muffin then recieves a note from the office. "What's this? Oh, great. Another new student after Fiona and Liberty. Well, where is he?" Suddenly, the lights go out and smoke rises from the floor causing Fiona and Liberty, who is a seat in front of her, to look around in confusion. A voice in somewhat of a british accent is heard. Mr. Muffin tries to swat the smoke away."From beyond the veil of dispose..." The boy emerges from the floor, "...comes one who is versed in ways of sorcerery; traveler of the mystical realms of necromancy."The boys giggle as Fiona shushes them. "Don't encourage him." She whispered to them. "Please tremble and give it up for...Kyle the Conjurer!" Fireworks go off causing the Fiona to jump a bit. "...And...scene." Kyle bows.The lights return to normal, and Kyle lets his fingers go. He holds this pose for a few more seconds, then hears some snoring. His pleased expression fades as he realizes that the class doesn't seem impressed, except Fanboy and Chum Chum, who of course cheered for him. "Whoo-Hoo! Yeah! Yeah! Nice!" The boys cheer, causing Fiona and Liberty to roll they're eyes at them. "Cut it out you two." Fiona whispered to them causing them to slowly stop. "I don't thinkeveryone caught my entrance. Can I do that again?" Kyle asks Mr. Muffin. "NO!" Fiona and Liberty yelled to him. "Great Hank, another screwball." He says to himself. "Where to put him? Why don't you take a seat next to..."
"Mr. Muffin!" The boys point to the desk next to Fiona, which causes her to yell at the boys to stop. "Quit it! I don't want him near me!" She steams up in frustration.
"Fiona." Mr. Muffin says pointing at her.
"Fiona?" Kyle looks at Fiona and saw she was heated. No not blushing heated, ANGRY heated, making the boy swear in fear. "Fiona is a nice girl, she'll show you the ropes." Mr. Muffins smiled as she stared him down.
"Invitation declined." Kyle says afraid of what would happen if he sat next to the girl. Kyle then walks up to Chuggys desk, which is two seats in front of Fiona and the two goofy boys, and makes his pencil float. "Oh dear, you've lost your writing implement. Off you go." He rudely sendsChuggy's pencil flying.
Chuggy began to chase his pencil. "Wa, Wa, Wa, Wa!" He yelled. "Ah..." He lifts up his cape and sits down. "Front row, center." He sighed smiling causing me to roll my eyes. Justlike a few seconds ago we learned that Kyle is a wizard, which the group, mainly the two girls, don't really believe him. For a moment, Kyle is alone, then Fanboy inches his desk forward, then Chum Chum. Then, they both scoot their desks closer while Kyle smirks, thinking they are moving away from him. Then, they scoot their desks up to the sides of Kyle's desk to have a conversation with him. "So, a wizard, huh? Are you classically trained, or self-taught?" Fanboy asks him. "Fanboy, Chum Chum! Move back here right now!" Fiona calls for them, but they ignore her. "Well, actually, I attended the prestigious Milkweed Academy for Wizards, until I was unfairly expelled for turning one of my professors into raspberry flan. Delicious old fool. But one day, they will see the error of their ways, and I will return to assume my rightful place as the most powerful pre-teen wizard on the planet!" He answers as hemaniacal laughing that then stops with Fanboy and Chum Chum's laughs. They laugh and bang their heads on their desks, cracking up as to what they heard. They do not believe what Kyle said, thinking that he is pretending to be a wizard. "Look what ya did wizard boy. You encouraged them to keep listening to your foolishness." Fiona tells him, making him glare at her. "Oh man, we're gonna have so much fun together. Chum Chum and Iloveto play wizard." Fanboy smiles. Kyle looked dumbfounded. "Okay, I'm not sure I made myself clear. I...am arealwizard." Fiona look at him in disbelief. "And I'm a real witch." She rolled her eyes, saying sarcastically. "Yeaaaah, we're real wizards, too. And when we play ninjas...," Hedoes a few karate poses. "we are real ninjas."Kyle glares at him. "And when we play spacemen..." He breathesin deeply, and in robot voice. "...we are real spacemen!" He goes back to his normalvoice. "Ithink we're on the same page here." Fiona, Kyle and Liberty look at Fanboy dumbfounded. "Umm, I'm not sure we are, because you are a play wizard. Where as I am a realwizard. Are you hearing the difference?" Kyle asked. "I can here a difference unfortunately." Fiona stated as Kyle gave her a smile.
"Okay, I heard the "play" part." Fiona, Kyle and Liberty facepalm at Fanboy's comment.
"I think we're done here. From this point on, don't even look at me; don't talk to me; don't even smell me. Good day!" Kyle then puts a dome around himself, leaving Fiona annoyed and the others amused. Fiona found it also really messed up that he can storm in here like he owns the school or thinks he can survive without any friends. Fanboy and Chum Chum are offering to be his friends, but Kyle has a cold heart and pushes them away. "Hey, can we play wizards in your dome?" Chum Chum asked nicely. Kylerolls the window up as a response. "Hey, is there a toilet in there?" Fanboy askes as Fiona and Liberty facepalm again.
"What?"
Later...
"Dear Milkweed Academy, readmissions board-!" Thelights flicker on and off. He looks and sees Chum Chum flickering the lights. "Oh, what now?" He asks annoyed. "Pow! Kapow! Behold, the mighty wizard...Wizboy!" Chum Chum says, then giggles. Hepicks up two erasers and bangs them together, creating chalk-dust. Fanboy, wearing a wizard's beard and traffic cone, opens the door and reveals himself. Kyle, who looks on, disgusted. Fanboy does a few poses with Chum Chum mimicking him. He runs over to Kyle's desk with Chum Chum in tow, and throws him onto the desk, who poses happily. Fiona fell to the floor laughing as Kyle glared at Fiona, then Fanboy."What are you doing?" Kyle asked really annoyed with him now. "I'm making my wizard's entrance. You want one too?" Fanboy asks. Fiona still laughing gets up, wiping her tears. "Oh Fanboy, you look so cute and ridiculous!" Fanboy blushes at the "cute" part. "I don't need your help. Iam awizard." Kyle says getting more annoyed. "Yeah, we all are." Fanboy smiles as Chum Chum adds on, "Well, I used to be a teapot until the wizard here brought me to life." Kyle says out of annoyance, "He is NOT a WIZARD!!!"
"Uh, yeah, I am."
"Very well. If you are a wizard, why don't you perform some magic?"
"I foresaw that you would ask that. Stand back!"
Fanboy does a few poses, then Chum Chum extends an index finger from each hand. Fanboy holds up both fingers, mushes them together, then shows his left hand, holding up two fingers."Wiiiiiizbooooy!" Chum Chum announces. Kyle and Fionafacepalm as Chum Chum applauds. "Why am I friends with you two again?" Fiona asked them. "I was about to ask you that question about them." Kyle states as he agrees with Fiona."Oh, thank you. You're too kind. I have one final finger illusion I'd like to perform if I could have a volunteer to pull my finger." Fanboy slyly smirks. "Ooh! his signature trick. Let me just move upwind." Chum Chum moves besides Kyle and Fiona. Fanboyextends his left index finger. Kyle reaches for it while Chum Chum pleads. Kyle then draws back his hand. Fiona moves far back as she can away from Fanboy. "I know him to too well, even tho we met a week ago." Fiona says to herself covering her nose."Uh, no." Fanboy fartson Kyle.
"ButI didn't pull it!" He says in total disgust by Fanboy's action. "Magic."Fanboy and Chum Chum laugh, as Fiona walks back to them, scolding Fanboy for the fart."Enough! I've had with you ninnies. It is time for me to show you what a real wizard can do."As he says this, he takes out his wand for the first time. Mr. Muffin then takes it. "Huh? What?"
"No stick waving. You'll get this back at the end of the year."Kyle then gasps and moans as Fiona laughs at him. "You heard the man wizard boy." She smirks, as he puts his head down in defeat.
"You win this round..."
Later on at lunch, Kyle is reading Necronomicon. He sees a spell he likes."Ooh, charm to summon a griffin," He Imaginesthe person in the book to be Fanboy. "Hmmnow that's a spell, I'll studythatone later."As he says this, he marks the page with a stickynote. He then hears Fanboy, Chum Chum, followed by Liberty and Fiona."Hail, brother wizard!" ChumChum brings in Fanboy on a cart, who is hanging."Here we go. The "wizards" and the girls sit with him. "Could youplease not bother me whilst I'm reading?" Kyle asked for once, nicely."Uh-oh. Reading at lunch? People are gonna think you're unfriendly." Fiona looks at Fanboy in anger. "Excuse me?!" Kyle rolled his eyes."Like I'd give an Elf." Chum Chum began playingwith Necronomicon. "That'sa nice coloring book."
"Ugh!" He burnsChum Chum's crayon causing Fiona to slap him in the head, but he ignored it. "Itis a Necronomicon: The ancient book of spells and charms. Somethingrealwizards have."
"Yes, we have one of those. Chum Chum?"Chum Chum brings him a phone book. "That- is a yellow pages."
"Yes. Yellowed with the passage of a thousand years." He shattersglass, reading the book.""A-A-A best carpet cleaning". "Mention this ad for 10% off". "Pet stains are specialties" And so it is written." He closesbook. "Thoseare not magic words!" Fanboy, obliviousas to what he said again. "Well, you must have misheard me." He holdsthe Necronomicon. "WhatI meant to say was, "Hooplar Spoof Blork Weep Caloosh". The girls look at each other then realize what the book was, "HE IS A WIZARD! FANBOY STOP!!" They both shouted together. "STOP!!! What are you trying to do, summon a great, ferocious griffin upon us?!? Did you hear the sound of beating wings?!?"Nothing happened."No. It's just my imagination." He chucklesweakly. "Wewere lucky. If you were a stronger reader, we'd all be in the clutches of its cold, pointed claws.Neverdo that again!" The girls nodded. "Agreed."
"Fine, we'll just eat our wizard lunch. Oh, Chum Chum, would you mind levitating the ketchup to me?"
"Your wish is my command, oh, master." He holds upthe ketchup bottle by the tip and does some "ooo-ing" and "ooohoo-ing" while the girls and Kyle facepalm.
"Thank you."
"That is not levitation. I will show you levitation." Kylecloses his eyes and touches his fingers like a yogi. He hums, floating off the ground. The group stared at him in amazement.
"Ah, yes, levitation. This is what a mind that is centered and focused can do. And just as I can rise, I can descend." He hitsa lunch tray. Startled, he looks up to see Lupe angry at him. "Haveyou met Lupe?"Lupe growls. "Becauseyou're sitting on her lunch." Kyle isquite horrified at this point. "Ohdear..."Lupe then punches Kyle causing the group to flinch after she punched him."Ow!" He slidacross the table, getting trampled with lunch trays.
"ChumChum, levitate me Kyle's pudding."Chum Chum lifts up the pudding by the top and does some "woo-hooing" while the girls laughed.
On the playground after the day ended. Kyle, with a black eye and covered in lunch, marches up to the group, who are all playing wizards together. "Thatis it! We are going to end this once and for all."A pizza slice falls off his forehead. "Ichallenge you to...a WIZARD-OFF!!!"
"No, no, no, no, no. You cannot challenge me to a wizard-off, causeIchallengeyouto a wizard-off."
"Just show up by the flagpole and bring your best trick, cause I assure you, I'll be bringing mine."
He disappears, which changes the scene to the flagpole a few hours later. Chuggy is on top of it still trying to get his pencil. "Wa, wa, wa, wa..."
Kyle, Fanboy and Chum Chum with the girls are standing about ten yards apart from each other, like in an old west gunslinger battle. Chum Chum lint-rolls Fanboy'scape, finally believing everything about Kyle. "Ooh-ooh-ooh! I'm so excited. They say you never forget your first wizard-off."
"I'll let you in on a little secret, Chum Chum. Because he's new, I'm going to let him win." Fiona crosses her arms as she walks up to Fanboy. "Fanboy I think you went to far with this wizard play." Fanboy chuckles. "I'll be fine Fi. Trust me." Fiona smiles, giving him a hug for good luck causing him to blush a bit. "I know you'll be fine. Just be careful..."
Kyle reads some of his index cards. "Let'ssee...Shrink his head? Okay. Give him a necklace of piranhas? Good. Then finish him with the underpants of a thousand screams. Hmm. all right." Hepoofs the cards away. "Okay, let'sget this over with." He smileslike a psycho kid.
"Yeah! let's get wizzay!" They all pose together. Kyle does a few poses, and Fanboy does a few poses, too.
"Do your blasted trick."
"Very well. Observe."He and Chum Chum do a few poses."Oh, please. Not that insipid stunt where you add a finger!"He leans in toward Kyle. "Oh, no, my friend. Not add a finger..." Hegrabs his left index finger, and pretends to remove it. He does the "remove-a-finger" trick. Fiona covers her eyes as Liberty goes behind her. "He's doomed..." They say together.Chum Chum looks dumbstruck. "Yourfinger! Hey!" He faints. Liberty goes to bring him next to Fiona. "Oh, you can't be serious." Fanboy gasps. "ChumChum! Ah! I knew we should have rehearsed this. Fear not. I'll revive him." He takesout an Ice Monster Bun Bun."A good wizard always carries an Ice Monster Bun Bun for just such an emergency."He brings it to Chum Chum and waves it under Chum Chum's nose."Come back to me, buddy. You come back to me, buddy!"Chum Chum wakes up, then chomps Fanboy's hand
"Savesome for me, dude."Chum Chum won't come off his hand."CHUM CHUM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?" Fiona and Liberty begin to laugh as Fanboy begins to freak out. Fanboywaves him around wildly, suddenly sticking Chum Chum to his head, too. He hops around madly trying to pry him off while the girls fall to the floor laughing at the goofballs they care about.Kyle laughs manically. "Thisfarce ends now." He conjuresup a shock ball, Fanboy and Chum Chum don't notice, but Fiona does. "Comeon! Get off! get off!" Fanboy yells. "Good-bye forever, Fanboy! GAME, SET, MA-HA?!"
"FANBOY LOOK OUUU...OH MY FROSTY FREEZY FREEZE..." Fiona looks up as she went to cover Fanboy to see what Kyle saw, dropping her jaw in shock. Hestops and looks upward. A griffin comes down from the sky. Of course, it's the one Fanboy summoned. "Thegreat griffin!" Kyle panicked as thegriffin scoops Kyle up and flies him away. Chum Chum finally detaches himself from Fanboy's head and they turn around. They see that Kyle is not there, not knowing what was going on with him while they were concentrating on each other."Where did Kyle go?" Chum Chum asked. "I guesshe left. I probably shouldn't have been so awesome. But we can make it up to him. We'll play wizard with him all day tomorrow.He'll like that." Fanboy says as they all began to walk back to the water tower.
"I bet he will Wizboy, I bet he will..." Fiona says as they all laugh.
"No, I won't!" Kyle yelled. This was a start of am adventure for the group, mainly for the girls.
That's the chapter! See ya next chapter!!
