Chris McClean kicked back in a motorboat that was cruising along the lake.

"Ah, welcome back, viewers, one last time to the show that brings the drama like no other, Total Drama Resort!" Chris greeted. "Last time, our final four battled it out in a quest to save as many guests as they could from the dangers of Wawanakwa, released all at once for quite the party."

"And quite the damage report," Chef added from the front of the boat. "You really left that place a steaming mess, huh Chris?"

"Well it's not like we were going to do back to back Resort themed seasons," Chris said with a shrug. "What good was that place gonna do me?"

"Sometimes I wonder bout that head of yours," Chef murmured with a steady shake of his head.

"The race was tight…well at least for three of them," Chris continued. "Misty…eh, she tried."

"If that was her trying, then I tell ya, that girl has no hope for a future," Chef remarked.

"In the end it was Nora and her grooving dance moves that snagged the win, earning her a spot at the end," Chris said. "With Ander vulnerable, the others weren't going to risk missing the shot a second time. He tried to appeal to Misty's emotions, but she shut him down gleefully and thus he was sent packing in fourth place."

"A woman can be a rueful, cruel thing," Chef said solemnly, his mind seemingly drawing back to his own memories.

"That leaves us with three now though, ready to face off one final time to be the best of the best," Chris said. "Join us as we prepare for this momentous occasion and then at the end of it all, crown ourselves a winner of Total Drama Resort!"

(Theme Song Plays…)


Chris and Chef arrived at a new island, this one still fully intact and lined with glamorous amenities such as a prestigious hotel, vast pool, and tacky floral print parasols.

"Ah, Playa Des Losers, some things never change!" Chris remarked as he and Chef disembarked. "This is where we sent our losers to spend the rest of their summer. They may not be leaving this game as millionaires, but the least we could do is let them get a taste for the good life before it's all snatched away."

"And to be clear, he means legally that's actually the least we were obligated to do," Chef said. "It was in the application contract."

"We're about to touch base with some familiar faces and get their input on the way things played out," Chris explained. "But first let's take a minute to review which three lucky ducks are still standing."

The screen flashed to show a montage of Nora, Fabio, and Misty throughout the summer.

"Our final three had three very different approaches to the game," Chris said. "First of all you've got Fabio, that man came in with a mission….a mission to leave this resort with a million bucks in his pants. While he's faced highs and lows throughout the game, he's never lost sight of what was most important to him…"


Confessional:

Fabio-At long last, the dream is within reach…and believe me I am gonna reach out and grasp that sucker and never ever let go! It's time for me to reach my destiny, I was always meant for greater things. I am tired of being a pebble trying to pass as a pearl. It's my turn to be one of the elites of this world. You're gonna see me now!


"And then there's Misty," Chris continued, "She's fancied herself quite the flirt, but her tactics…well they've been a little hit and miss. I'll say one thing though, she's really managed to flip her perspective towards optimism and convince herself that she can do no wrong, no matter how many times she's been out of the loop."


Misty-I've always been The Pretty Girl all my life. Stupid boys want to own me, jealous girls want to kill me. I learned long ago that there's only one person out there worth loving…myself! (giggles) So as an act of love, I am going to treat myself to one million dollars by winning this sweet little game. Then I'll be The RICH Pretty Girl, and truly have it all!


"Finally, there's the dancing diva herself, Nora!" Chris said. "She could tear up a rug like no other, but can she play the game? After being pushed aside one too many times, Nora proved that she was here to fight as well when she flipped the script on Omber and since then has been bringing the samba, the mambo, and the cha cha cha to each and every round. Will her dancing feet find the way to the finish line in time?"


Confessional:

Nora-Oh, ah, shaking it on down now, get jiggy with it! (dances) Come on now, don't tell me I didn't get you toe-tapping just a little bit. I know I may be seen as a little bit weird and funky, and ya know what…I am! I ain't ashamed of it, I have learned to embrace the fun in just dancin' to my own music no matter what anyone else may think. All game long I have been listenin' to that thing in my chest go boomdaboomboomboom bada bang bang powpowpow and it hasn't steered me wrong yet so Imma just keep on keepin' on and shimmy my way to the win!


Chef and Chris had moved closer to the resort now where several of the eliminated players were lounging about.

"Now then," Chris said, "this is the part where-"

"HOLD IT!" Zenika suddenly exclaimed, pushing her way between Chef and Chris vigorously, while clinging to several sheets of paper in disarray. "Who did you say the Final 3 was!? One more time, speak clearly, for science please!"

"Uh…it's Fabio, Misty, and Nora," Chris repeated uncertainly.

"Fabio? Hm…" Zenika said, searching through several sheets of paper, "ah yes yes yes…and Misty? Oh hm…very interesting, very interesting, now where did I…"

Zenika reached up and pulled a sheet of paper out from behind her ear.

"OOOH yes..yes .yes Nora!" Zenika exclaimed " I KNEW IT! I knew it from the very first day, this final three was predetermined. All of our actions playing out in perfect tandem to tip each temporal domino to see through the timeline that we are living in. Yes YES eureka!"

"Uh, what's she saying?" Chef asked.

Chris just gave a perplexed shrug.

"But wait, wait, wait…if we had just changed this little detail," Zenika said while making an adjustment with her miniscule pencil. "Then yes…it would have been an entirely different group at the end now!"

"Wow, so what you're saying is that if you change events, you get a different result? Yeah I think you might want to hold off bringing that to the academia, you might be a couple thousand years too late for that breakthrough," Chris chuckled.

"SILENCE!" Zenika exclaimed. "But…..I knew you were going to say that! Oh yes, it's all here, it's all here!"

"Uh-huh," Chris said. "Chef, I think we should move on."

"Ten four, Chris, this one has a few screws loose," Chef noted.

Chef and Chris moved on to Yuka who was aggressively stroking a polar bear that seemed to be quivering in fear.

"You like my new pet?" Yuka asked. "I am letting him live…just long enough to acknowledge who the true apex predator is."

"Well uh..everyone needs a hobby," Chris remarked nervously.

"A hobby?" Yuka echoed in disgust. "In the North there is not time for…hobbies. Every action you take must be for the sole purpose of furthering your chances at survival. Those who waste their time on…hobbies, will have their bones discovered as a testament to their failure to thrive."

"Noted," Chris said with a gulp. "So Yuka, what do you make of the final three? Who'd you like to see pull it all off?"

Yuka gave an apathetic shrug.

"None of them," she replied bluntly. "Not one of them has what it takes to survive The North. They applied cowardly tricks to cut out the stronger threats ahead of them, and I have no respect for anything of the sort. Their feeble strategies may pay off here, but they would be futile up against the chilling winds of The North that would surely topple them all with a single gust."

"Uh-huh, great input," Chris remarked.

"Don't push it with this one, Chris," Chef said. "She looks ready to snap at any minute…snap your neck, I mean."

The polar bear gave a low whine, which was immediately met with Yuka pounding it on the head.

'Quiet!" she ordered.

"Maybe we can get someone normal to answer next time," Chris sighed.

"Normal!? Now there's a word that means nothing at all," Eden scoffed from a beach chair. "What is normal? Normal in my life could be something totally different in yours, but sure let's just throw around this broad blanket term and let everyone else figure it out, cause that's just FINE!"

"Keep moving, Chris, keep moving," Chef urged.

"I wish I could, but we've got to at least try to get an answer out of everyone," Chris sighed.

"Your enthusiasm is contagious," Eden said sarcastically.

"Alright, Eden, who do you want to see win this game?" Chris asked.

"Do I LOOK like I care?" Eden asked with heavy exasperation on each word.

"Not really," Chris remarked.

"Well once again you are WRONG and making a snap judgment of what I think based on your preconceptions on how I'm supposed to act!" Eden snapped. "Oh I get it, she's far too above it all to actually give an opinion? Is that what you think!? HUH!?"

"Then answer the question, girl!" Chef snapped.

"Uh….well what did she answer?" Eden asked, pointing to Yuka.

"She said none of them," Chris said dryly.

"Then I am rooting for ALL of them!" Eden announced. "Ha, bet you didn't see that curveball coming huh!? Owned!"

"Yep, you sure showed me," Chris said.


Confessional:

Zenika-I consider this experiment a roaring success! I am a genius!

Yuka-I came here for a challenge, I was promised that we would be pitted against one another forced to survive not just the island, but one another. Instead all I got was make believe and popularity contests. Bah the North cares for neither!

Eden-Yeah yeah, so I lost, whatever. I don't even care, winning would have been way too mainstream for me anyways.


Chris moved further along the resort to where Josiah and Sammy were lying back in a green patch of grass.

"Sammy, Josiah!" Chris greeted. "How does it feel to be losers!?'

"Eh, doesn't bother me," Josiah said with a shrug. "I mean, I pretty much let them vote me out cause it wouldn't have been fair to give it my full power, you know? I probably could have swept the floor if I'd broken out all my skills as a government agent."

"Same," Sammy said.

"Wha…what do you mean 'same'?" Josiah asked.

"I mean 'same,' dude," Sammy said with a shrug. "If I had used all my government agent skilled I'd be all like whoa-ho, kick your butt into next Tuesday!"

"Well that's nice and all except for one little thing," Josiah called out. "Now what was it…oh yeah, you're NOT a government agent!"

"Except there's also one other little thing," Sammy said. "I am."

"No you're not!" Josiah snapped.

"Huhuhu, you mad?" Sammy mocked. "Sorry bro, can't fight the truth!"

"Fine then prove it!" Josiah demanded.

"Your first," Sammy retorted.

"Huh?" Josiah asked.

"Prove that you're really a government agent," Sammy said. "I can't just blow my cover to anyone you know, I gotta make sure you're 'on the level' as we say."

"Well I also can't just blow my cover to anyone…and that's exactly who you are!" Josiah accused. "Just some random 'anybody' pretending to be something he's not."

"Huhuhu, that sounds like a lot of words to say you have no proof," Sammy teased. "Guess you were lying 'bout that the whole time, huh?'

"I was not!" Josiah fumed. "The only liar here is you!'

"No you," Sammy retorted.

"Please, if you were a secret agent, I think I would have heard about it in one of my debriefings," Josiah pointed out.

"Guess I'm just a secreter agent than you," Sammy shrugged ."They probably didn't trust you with all the details. It's very need to know, you know?"

"You know what? I'll call my contact right now and sort this out," Josiah said as he pulled out a small silver phone.

"Oh they still got you using the old model, huh?" Sammy remarked. "Well, don't mind if I just call up MY contact."

Sammy struggled to pull off his shoe then pressed it to his ear.

"That's not a phone, that's just your shoe!" Josiah pointed out.

"It's both. Shoe-phone!" Sammy said, still holding the shoe to his ear. "Ring, ring, hello the government? It's ya boy, Sammy."

"Oh please, you expect me to buy you're actually talking to anyone of that piece of junk?" Josiah scoffed.

Sammy just wriggled his eyebrows at the other boy.

"Give me that shoe-phone!" Josiah demanded as he tackled Sammy.

"Help, help, I am being assaulted by this national menace!" Sammy cried.

"Okay, break it up, hotshots!" Chef said as he pulled the two boys apart.

"You can go back to trying to kill each other after you answer a question for us," Chris said. "We'd like to know who you want to see win this game?"

"Hmmmmm…" Sammy said while stroking his chin. "I'd have to say…Nora. Yep definitely Nora! She was one fierce, fine lady, and sure kicked my butt to the curb."

"Okay, and Josiah?" Chris asked.

"PffftttHAHAHAHAHA!" Sammy guffawed. "GOTCHA! You really thought I was gonna say NORA, I mean come on! You just got duped by the Sam-Master!"

"Okay," Chris groaned."So who DO you want to see win then?"

"Hm..,it's gotta be Fabio!" Sammy announced. "Yep, I see a lot of myself in that guy. We're both resourceful, industrious, and not afraid to bend the truth till it fits the way we want it. He'd deserve it, I say!"

"Thank you," Chris said, "And now-"

"GOTCHA! HAAHAHA HUHHUHU WOOOW two for one deal, I am on fire today!" Sammy exclaimed.

"And if you keep screwing with me, Chef will see to it that you're literally on fire," Chris threatened.

"Yessir," Sammy squeaked. "It's Misty, I'm rooting for Misty. She is one fine queen, and I think I may still have a shot with her."

"And as for you, Josiah?" Chris asked.

Sammy looked like he was about to burst out laughing again, but Chef gave him a death glare and he immediately locked his lips shut.

"I tell ya, Chris, this guy's got a whole lot of crazy delusions rolling around in that head of his, but he got one thing right," Josiah said. "Misty is one fierce lady, she's what we in my industry might refer to as a 'femme fatale.'"

"Oh that's interesting," Sammy exclaimed.

"What?" Josiah asked. "What's so interesting about that?'

"Well you see, it's just…" Sammy explained, "in my industry that's also a term we would use, i didn't realize it also extended to your domain of guys who buy tech from RadioShack with money their mom gave them so they can play pretend soldier."

"That's it, we'll see how pretend my fist is when it's running through your face!" Josiah exclaimed as he chased after Sammy.

"Aiiieeee help help!" Sammy cried as Josiah chased after him.

"Let'em go, we got what we came for," Chris remarked.


Confessional:

Sammy-I may not have one any money, but that's okay I'll make up for it in my tell all book where I reveal the behind the scenes secrets, like how Chef wears leopard print underwear, or that Chris has a shrine to Julia Child in his office. Who's gonna deny it? If they try, it'll only look more real, huhuhhu!

Josiah-This was just a training exercise for me, and one that I found far too easy. I decided to kick back and let someone else know what it feels like to win, just cause I'm such a nice guy.


Chris and Chef moved along to a beach area. Natalia was floating in the water with a bright pink floatation device wrapped around her body. She did not seem pleased about this . Kirby floated on his back and gently propelled himself with his arms.

"Natalia, Kirby, looks you're having a good time," Chris remarked.

"Every time is a good time when you are at sea," Kirby replied. "It may not always be easy times, but good all the same, for there is no greater joy than giving yourself up to the current."

"And yet every time is a miserable time, a dismal torturous existence, when you are within the shadowy web of grim darkness that consumes us at all times," Natalia added.

"Sounds like between the two it should breakeven then," Chef pointed out with a shrug.

"How are you two coping with the crushing defeat you faced?" Chris asked.

"It shall roll away like the tide that ebbs and flows," Kirby said. "The sea gives and takes and we can only accept it."

"It is just another loss in a pile of many disappointments that this world was built upon," Natalia said.

"And what do you two think of our final 3?" Chris asked.

"The voices have many things to say about them," Natalia declared. "Many nasty, hateful wretched things…and yet since the voices are no more than a manifestation for my need to establish a poignant identity, I no longer wish to hear what they have to say. I wish to give an opinion that is my own, not painted in the dark ink that I've needed to coat my every word…and yet I cannot. Who am I without this cloud of gloom that has shrouded my life for so long?"

"Great question, for you to figure out on your own time!" Chris said. "You're on my show now though, so can you hurry it along?"

"Maybe you're the one who should hurry along…hurry along to the crypt that awaits you at the end," Natalia threatened.

"Just rest your body, ease up your thoughts," Kirby suggested to Natalia. "Close your eyes and let the sea guide you to your truest self."

"Hmm yes the sea…deep, dark, endless and full of ancient terrors that mankind was never meant to lay eyes on," Natalia mused.

"It…is a start," Kirby remarked.

"And how about you, Kirby?" Chris asked. "Do you have a sane answer to who you'd like to see win this game?"

"The sea shall test these three to the edge of their might and only the truest shall reign supreme," Kirby answered. "If I had to pick, I would think that First Mate Fabio may be able to brave the storm. There's more in him than meets the eye."

"I'll take it," Chris said. "Moving on now!"


Confessional:

Natalia-Leaving this game, I hope to also leave behind the dark persona that I have used to define myself. To give myself a place in this world by deliberately stepping outside of it. I no longer wish to be a slave to the voices of my own making. But who will I be without it? Who is there underneath it all? That is a new horror which I must face.

Kirby-The sea will guide me to new adventures in no time. This is not the end, this is merely a stop along the odyssey.


Omber and Lex sat upon a pair of stools that were up against a granite counter. Each had a drink in hand, Omber a fizzling soda, while Lex sipped a glass of lemonade.

"Omber, Lex, any lingering thoughts you'd like to get off your chest?" Chris asked.

Omber gave a shrug as he remarked, "I still think I did the best I could, but things don't always work out in a logical way."

"I think we both made mistakes along the way," Lex added. "We may not be able to see it, but in the end we still wound up here, and can only blame ourselves."

"Or someone else made a mistake," Omber countered. "And we're just the ones paying for it."

"Alright you couple of know-it-alls," Chef snorted, "if you're so smart then why don't you tell us who deserves to win this game?"

"It's hard to really want to support any of them," Omber said while running his finger around the rim of his glass. "It sort of feels like they're only there by the collective mess that this game turned into. Nora made a huge mistake voting me out, and I would have expected that to be the end for her. Misty has been nothing but a joke. Fabio…he might be the only acceptable option by pure virtue of not being a total embarrassment. Just barely."

"I don't think that's fair at all," Lex spoke up. "Nora and Fabio have both done a great job turning the game around for them. I just wish I could be there up against them, but I can't exactly blame them for going with Misty who is the one person I thought I might have a chance against."

"It still doesn't make much sense to me," Omber said as he shook his head. "Nora was playing with fire and nearly got herself eliminated by going into a tiebreaker against me."

"Um hello!? Wake up, man! Nora was going to be the target if she didn't do that," Lex pointed out. "And it was only because you were doing a great job pushing everyone else away. Maybe take a look in the mirror before you start blaming everyone else for why you're here."

Omber just chuckled lightly as he remarked, "Well well, look who has something to say. You've certainly grown up from the shy little thing that could barely let their voice be heard."

"Maybe I have," Lex replied.

"Well Lex, since you've found your voice, maybe you can tell us who you think should win this game," Chris asked.

"It's tough to pick between Nora and Fabio," Lex replied. "I worked with them both and have some respect for each of them. I think I'd have to say Nora though, if only because I think voting me out made a lot more sense for her than it did for Fabio. But I guess we'll just have to see."

"Yes we will!" Chris exclaimed. "And very soon at that. We've just got a couple more of you losers to interview before the main events can begin!"


Confessional:

Omber-I played this game anticipating everyone's every move and every thought. I had everything in my hands until…I didn't anymore. And that pisses me off! Things are meant to play out logically, and suddenly in a moment it all fell apart and nothing made sense anymore. (crosses arms and pouts)

Lex-I was a little bit hurt to have to walk down the dock, but I have to remind myself that I never really came into this game with any expectation to win. Just getting as far as I did was a bit of a shock, and I like to think that I've grown from the experience.


Ander rested in a hammock while Corny approached him with a plate of toasted coconut pastries.

"There ya are, buddy!" Corny exclaimed. "You have gotta try one of these things. Now I ain't one to use the word 'divine' too lightly, ya know, on account of I think that's a pretty hefty to word to be throwin' round all willy-nilly, but these things taste positively divine!"

"No thanks," Ander said glumly.

"You doin' okay, bud?" Corny asked with concern.

"I don't know," Ander sighed. "I'm trying to. I told myself coming into this game that I wasn't going to get my hopes up. That I was not going to have any expectations of winning anything. But I came so very close, it was hard not to start picturing what it might mean to walk away a winner."

"Hey, I hear ya, pal," Corny said. "You sure you don't want to try one of these coconut puffs? Sounds like you could use somethin' sweet."

"How are you able to keep up your mood?" Ander asked. "I know that this prize would have meant a lot to you too, changed your life for the better. Yet you don't seem bothered at all."

"Sure, I'm bothered," Corny said with a light shrug. "But ain't like that's gonna do me any good. Easy come, easy go, that's the motto, my man. I've been hoppin' from one place to the next, so it ain't so much 'bout what I get to keep with me anymore."

"I'll try to remind myself of that," Ander sighed. "But I can't help but think of how much this would have improved life for my family. They really need a break, and this could have been it. I let them down."

"Hey, ain't no one in the whole wide world gonna say that you didn't give this your every shot," Corny assured, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You went out here and did everything ya could all to try to help your family, ain't a lot of people willin' to put forward that much effort. I may not have known ya long, but I can tell by the way that ya talk that your brothers and sisters are your everything and they're lucky to have a big guy like you lookin' out for them. Ain't just me that sees it now, the whole viewin' nation knows your story now. I just got an itchin' in my head that things may work themselves out for ya, maybe just not in the way you expected."

"You're right," Ander said. "I've faced setbacks before, but I can't let that stop me. I have to keep trying."

"And hey, maybe on my travels I might stop on by and say hi," Corny said. "I'll tell ya this much, pal, you might not think you have much, but you have a home-an honest to goodness place to call home. Maybe if I had a brother like you lookin' out for me, I'd still have one of my own, instead of havin' to pack on up and head out."

"Hello, hello, hello!" Chris announced as he arrived at the scene. "Ooh are those coconut puffs, I love these things."

Chris quickly consumed the entire platter of treats.

"Yeah…just uh help yourself," Corny sighed.

"Alright you punks, time for you to tell us who you want to see win this whole thing," Chef said.

"Only one answer I can think of," Corny said. "And that's the mystical Miss Misty!"

"You're still fixated on her?" Ander sighed.

"She's a real neat lady and I think she deserves it," Corny said. "I think I may still have a real shot with her, ya know?"

"You don't," Ander stated. "You want a big brother looking out for you? Here's your first lesson, she's just not that into you."

"Fair enough!" Corny said.

"Personally, I have to support Nora," Ander said. "She and I walked similar paths, and I have to respect her doing what I could not and getting to the end. I think that she's going to make short work of the other two."

"Maybe maybe, but never count out the underdog," Corny said. "Anything could happen."

"Indeed it can!" Chris said. "And we're gonna see something happen right now on this very special finale of Total Drama Resort!"

"You just love saying that, don't you, Chris?" Chef remarked.

"Hey it's the last day I get to say it, I'm going to get the most out of it," Chris huffed.


Confessional:

Corny-If I laid down and cried every time I got slapped with a disappointment, well I'd probably be all outta tears by now. There's been many opportunities before this that didn't go my way, and there will be many more to come. You just gotta say oh well and move on!

Ander-I thought that this might be the answer for me, but looks like the fight goes on. And I will continue to fight every day if I have to. There's a long road ahead, but I know who I'm fighting for and don't intend to back down now.


(Wawanakwa Resort)

Fabio, Misty, and Nora stood in the charred wreckage that was once a beautiful resort.

"Sooo…you guys sleep well?" Nora asked.

"Hardly," Misty remarked. "I couldn't even find a bed that was in one piece."

"A small price to pay," Fabio exclaimed. "After today it will be nothing but goose-down queen sized beds…well for me, for you two life is still going to suck."

"Hey, my life ain't so bad!" Nora pouted. "I've still got rhythm and soul."

"True, but you won't have a million dollars, and I will!" Fabio exclaimed. "Let that haunt you!"

"Adorable that you two think you're walking away the winner," Misty remarked.

"I'll take adorable over downright laughable, which is what you chances are," Fabio retorted.

"Love to see that the energy is still buzzing!" Chris exclaimed as he walked down the Dock of Shame to meet the final three. "Fabio, Misty, Nora, it's time to square off against one another one final time for the big prize of one million dollars!"

"That's right, baby, all for me!" Fabio boasted.

"Chrissy, why don't you tell Fabio all about the compensation prize in store for him," Misty asked sweetly.

"Pfft, what are you talking about? There's no compensation prize," Chris laughed.

"Exactly," Misty said evilly. "So have fun walking home with that!"

"Alright, let's get to our challenge though," Chris said. "Each of you is going to have to traverse the grounds of Wawanakwa one last time…on dirt bikes! You'll be tearing up the terrain, racing to the other side where you'll hop on a totally rad jet-ski! Take that across the lake to your final destination: The Tower of Triumph! From there it will be a race to the top of that tricky tower. Once you reach the top, two of you will duel to be our final winner. Yes, that's right, kids, whoever is slowest to arrive will be immediately cut in third place, no chance to win, no shot at the million dollars."

"Uh huh, uh huh, very nice, can we get on with this, Chrissy?" Misty asked. "I'm not sure how much longer I can stand the sound of your voice."

"Just be aware that many of the old tricks and traps that have haunted this island are still laying about," Chris warned. "Especially if you're someone with a lack of respect for the host."

"Let's get jiggy with it, Trouble Tappers," Nora exclaimed. "This is the final number, and my soul is ablaze with a need to dance dance dance to the top!"


Confessional:

Misty-You know what, I have dealt with a lot in this game. I've been mocked, humiliated, belittled. I deserve this more than anyone to prove that I can rise above all the hate I've gotten.

Fabio-My bros, my ladies, with the amount of times I've boasted about walking away a millionaire, if I DON'T now it's gonna look really embarrassing. I am not gonna let that happen!

Nora-The end of a dance is always a bit bittersweet. It means the music is comin' to an end, but it means you're one step closer to your next song. And I am thinkin' my next song may have a beat that goes cha-ching!


The three finalists had mounted their dirt bikes now and looked over the uneven ground ahead of them.

"On your marks…go!" Chris exclaimed.

The engines roared to life.

"Okay, this is gonna be a cinch!" Nora exclaimed as she gripped the handles. "I can feel my heart already beatin' in sync with this motor, I'll just-WhaaaaHHOOOO!"

Nora launched herself forward and immediately lost her balance, catapulting herself off the bike and into the ground.

"That was…a little faster than I expected," Nora groaned.

"This isn't my first time on a bike like this," Misty remarked smugly. "I used to hang out with this guy who have one just like this. Of course back then all I had to do was hold onto his back and let him do the work, but surely I picked up something."

"Pfft, you guys are making this too easy for me!" Fabio exclaimed as he took off. "So long, suckers!"

Fabio zoomed down the cobblestone path and weaved between the collapsed buildings.

"Hahaha, can't catch me now!" Fabio chuckled.

However, Fabio realized he was headed right for a nasty crack that had formed in the road. The boy tried to swerve to avoid it, but at the speed he was going, this just caused his bike to skid and he was sent sprawling forward, face first right into the divet. Nora soon caught up and leapt over the crack with her bike.

"What was that you were sayin', Wiggly Wreck?" Nora laughed as she left Fabio behind.

Misty remained at the start, still just revving the engine.

"Okay, okay I'm just waiting for the skills to come rushing back," Misty said. "Any second now…slow and steady."

"We're off to a great start," Chris remarked.


Confessional:

Nora-Bikin'? It's just like-wait for it-mhm dancin'! It's all about balance and motion, just with a bit more POW to your movement, but once you get the feel for it there ain't no stoppin' ya!

Misty-Sometimes I wonder what Tristan is doing now. As soon as he sold the bike, suddenly I had no more use for him and I haven't seen him since!

Fabio-Alright so maybe this won't be easy-peasy lemon squeezy, but if I keep my cool I think it's still very possible that I walk home the winner winner chicken dinner!


Nora and Fabio zoomed along the muddy path, kicking up flecks of dirt under their tires. They began to leave behind the buildings of the resort and entered the ravaged forests of Wawankwa. Nora kept her lead and weaved between the trees. Fabio kept her in his sights though and followed behind. The ground here was even more uneven, causing the bikes to bump up and down as they rolled over jutting pieces of land or sunken ditches.

"You may be fast, but I am hot on your tail!" Fabio exclaimed as he tried to catch up with Nora.

"Eat my dirt, Sock Stinker!" Nora exclaimed, spraying a wave of loose earth behind her.

Fabio spat out the dirt as it blew in his face.

"It's gonna take more than that to stop me!" he exclaimed.

Meanwhile in town, Misty was moving at a leisurely pace, carefully trying to make sure that her bike stayed in a straight line.

"Okay, nice and easy, no need to rush," she said to herself as she hobbled along the street.

She came to a spiral staircase, and clumsily rolled down, step by step while clutching the handlebar with white knuckles. She managed to squeeze the brakes and came to a complete halt at the bottom of the steps. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Nice and easy," she repeated. "And I look so good doing it too."

Misty continued to putter along the unstable road until she she came to the edge where the road stopped and the forest loomed.

"Uh…there's no more road," she called out.

"It's a dirt bike!" Chris called back to her. "It was meant for the dirt!"

"Oh…that does make sense when you put it like that," Misty remarked.

Fabio and Nora were both moving up a mountain trail now. Loose rocks tumbled from above, and risked knocking either of them off their bikes if they weren't careful.

"Twist, swerve, and dip!" Nora exclaimed as she spun her bike in all directions.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Fabio cried out as two large boulders rolled down from either side.

The boy had to slam on the brakes and found himself just narrowly caught between the two rocks as they passed by.

"HaHA I am unstoppable!" Fabio cheered.

A small pebble then rolled down and clocked him on the head, sending his off course and leading him to crash right into a rocky surface.

"Ow," Fabio groaned.

"Catch you at the finish line!" Nora laughed as she pulled ahead.

Her feeling of triumph turned to concern as she heard a rumbling echo through all the mountain.

"Well now that doesn't sound groovy one bit," Nora remarked.

A mudslide washed down from the top of the mountain, pouring towards the racers at an alarming rate.

"Not groovy or even funky!" Nora gasped.

Nora came to a quick halt as she grimaced at her new predicament. Fabio rushed past her.

"Ha, thanks for letting me take the lead," Fabio laughed, "I'll just-oh no…oh no."

Fabio realized he was driving straight towards a sea of mud. He twisted the handle and slid to the side, rolling off the worn path and found himself rolling along a very narrow rock ledge.

"Not good, not good! Can't stop now!" Fabio panicked.

Nora meanwhile examined her surroundings and decided to charge herself at a pointed rock that she could use as a ramp. She launched herself into the air and whooped with exhilaration. Nora managed to roughly land herself on a jutting piece of the mountain that had remained above the mud.

"Woohoo, I am really ridin' the forces of nature now!" Nora cheered.

Fabio just kept moving forward, too afraid to stop lest he plummet from his very fragile balance. Mud began to pour over the edges though, and he knew his time was running out. As he rounded a bend he saw an opening into the innards of the mountain.

"Speed don't fail me now!" Fabio cried as he pushed himself forward as fast as the bike could go.

The boy managed to zip into the cave, just seconds before the mud washed over the edge and would have swept him away.


Confessional:

Misty-Okay so truth be told, I never let Tristan take me for rides anywhere other than the side, cause uh ew? I don't need dirt flying up on my face. But it's fine, whatever, I'm sure those others have already got themselves lost in a ditch or something while I can gracefully make my way to the end without breaking a sweat.

Nora-Ain't no time for caution right now! Playin' it safe and sound ain't gonna net me first place, so time to just go full tilt and be a little reckless!

Fabio-I refuse to think about the amount of times I could have died in the last hour alone. There's only room for one thought in my mind right now and it's money money money money money I need to get that money!


Fabio found himself submerged in darkness pretty quickly as he rolled through the cave.

"Eyesight is down, looks like I'll have to rely on my other senses," Fabio exclaimed as he closed his eyes. "I can hear my way through this place like a bat!"

Fabio immediately crashed into a jagged patch of rocks and tumbled down a narrow shaft while bashing himself against several painful edges.

"Okay okay…other senses are not quite up to snuff yet," he moaned as he rubbed his head.

Fabio pulled himself back up and grabbed his bike again.

"Hey, check it out there's a light on this thing!" Fabio exclaimed. "Probably should have tried that first."

Fabio flicked on the light at the front of the bike, which only emitted a faint hum of a glow that barely even illuminated the front tires.

"I dunno what I expected," Fabio sighed.

Up above, Nora was still going at full speed, quivering with the roar of the engine. She could not afford to slow down as she bounced between clear surfaces among the oozing mud. The initial outburst seemed to have passed, but it left very little room for Nora to maneuver without risking sliding back down along the slippery substance. Nora bounced along a string of pinnacles to a fallen log to a jutting lip off the edge of the mountain.

"I am cruisin'!" Nora exclaimed.

She then heard a mechanical roar, followed by a natural roar. She glanced back to see she was being pursued by a bear with a chainsaw. He looked like he was on a mission, like he had a score to settle.

"You again!?" Nora exclaimed.

The bear gave a wicked chuckle while it revved the chainsaw. Nora's distracted attention caused her to slide right into the mud and lose control of the bike.

"Aw jeez!" she exclaimed as she was thrust through the air.

Nora splattered through the mud but managed to hang on to a thin tree that had somehow managed to stay rooted amid the destruction. The bear approached, chainsaw ripping in its paws.

"Come on now, Jolly Jock, ain't no need for us to get violent," Nora pleaded.

The bear brought down its weapon, but Nora swung herself on the branch and went low, making sure to slide between the beast's legs. The bear gave a confused grunt, before Nora pulled herself up and delivered a kick to the bear's behind. The bear gave a defeated howl as it rolled down the muddy slope.

"And don't never say I didn't try to resolve this peacefully!" Nora called. "Now where in the name of Ziggy Stardust did my bike roll to?"

Down in the forest, Misty was keeping a steady pace, trying to make sure she didn't flick up any dirt with the spinning tires. She pulled up to the mountain and saw that her path was entirely covered by mud now.

"Well that's not good," she remarked. "Guess I'll have to take the long way around."


Confessional:

Fabio-I have a newfound respect for bats, I always thought that echolocation thing was just a cheap gimmick, but it's way harder than you'd think.

Nora-I'm a dancer not a fighter, first and foremost, but that don't mean you want to be startin' a fight with me, I will still kick you to the curb!

Misty-I know I'm not going at light speed here, but think about it, I don't want to be all covered in mud for my winning shot.


Nora found her bike caught between two jagged rocks, just dangling above the steep drop. The girl slid along the mud clumsily, having to swing her arms from side to side to just keep her from not slipping right over the edge as well.

"Okay now, easy does it," Nora said as she tried to pry the bike free.

One pull and the entire rock structure trembled.

"No need for any of that now," Nora cautioned.

Nora hopped on the bike and took off, just as the rocks crumbled and collapsed. She zipped along the slope once more, leaving behind the rock slide.

"Hallelujah, I'm on the move again!" Nora cheered.

The bike still skidded from side to side along the mud, but Nora was able to make her way past the covered area and onto the downward portion of the path. She soon left behind the mud and could see the other coastline waiting for her in the distance. She then heard the sound of clumsy thumping and crashing coming from below.

"Now what in the world is that?" Nora groaned.

A series of loose rocks rolled free as a very bruised Fabio emerged from the inside of the mountain.

"I'm still in this, baby, heyaaa!" Fabio cheered.

"Oh no you don't!" Nora exclaimed, accelerating.

The two found their paths converging and racing side by side.

"What kept you so long!?" Nora mocked. "Lose your sense of direction?"

"Hey you try navigating a cave in pitch black!" Fabio retorted. "I should be asking YOU what kept you!?"

"Sounds like a picnic compared to havin' to fight off the murder bear," Nora replied.

The two returned to mostly level ground as they came upon the beach. They could see three colored jetskis waiting for them at the shore. The two remained neck and neck.

"Check this out!" Nora exclaimed as she launched her bike into the air and spun off, soaring forward and landing gracefully on the sand.

"Oh yeah, I could totally do that too," Fabio remarked.

He attempted to mimic her moves, but just ended flinging himself clumsily towards the water. With a splash, he plunged into the lake.

"Smooth moves, Chunky Chip!" Nora laughed as she took off.

Back in the forest, Misty was just trying to get her bearings as she made her way between the twisted trees.

"Now I swear I passed that one already," she remarked. "All these stupid trees look the same to me!"


Confessional:

Nora-Ain't no time to get cocky, but I think I'm makin' pretty swanky progress here in this jig. Just need the other two to keep on doin' whatever it is they're doin' cause clearly that ain't workin' out for'em!

Fabio-Okay probably shouldn't have tried that trick, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take et cetera. At the very least, it looks like I'm still ahead of Misty, so long as I can get to the final arena before her I've still got a prayer!

Misty-I'm working smart not hard here, typically I'd let a big dumb man go first and take care of any of the traps that might be waiting for me. And I mean between Nora and Fabio they probably could play the role of a big dumb man fine enough!


Nora was now tearing along the lake, leaving a rippling wake behind her. Fabio pulled himself up and hopped on a jetski as fast as he could. He brought it to life and took off after Nora.

"You're not shaking me that easy!" Fabio exclaimed.

"Ain't gotta shake you, just stayin' one step ahead," Nora shot back.

As the island of Wawankwa disappeared from view, Nora and Fabio found themselves surrounded by nothing but long spanning water. Their race continued, when suddenly they heard the sinister sound of the Jaws theme music.

"Well that can't be good," Fabio remarked.

"Honey Hugger, if there's one thing I've learned out here, it's that pretty much anything that's gonna happen won't be good," Nora replied.

Several silver fins poked up out of the water and began to give pursuit to the two racers.

"Sharks!" Fabio cried out.

"Looks like you ain't the only one I gotta leave behind here!" Nora exclaimed.

Nora tried to take off, but she realized that more fins were emerging from the opposite direction as well.

"Yeee-ikes!" Nora exclaimed, quickly changing her direction and swerving rapidly.

Fabio found himself in more trouble though as the horde of sharks began to circle around him like a mad frenzy. Fabio had no choice but to slow down.

"Fellas, look I'm sure we can sort this out," Fabio said weakly.

The aquatic predators began to poke their heads out of the water, revealing their rows of vicious teeth. Fabio felt himself sweating nervously.

"You wouldn't like my taste, trust me, I've been told my flesh has a very earthy musk to it," Fabio tried to reason. "And uh-oh my god, would you look at that!? A tuna hauler just capsized!"

Every shark quickly turned to look in the way the boy was pointing.

"HA! Dummies!" Fabio cackled as he took off once more and surged past the confused sharks.

The hungry fish, feeling betrayed and lied to, now pursued with an even more formidable speed.

"Aw come on, guys, it was just a joke," Fabio called back.

Fabio noticed a rock formation ahead of him, a maze of stone spires. He took his chance and charged towards the formation, hoping to lose the predators behind him. Fabio soared into a narrow canal, and didn't look back until he was lost deep within the labyrinth. He eventually slowed down and glanced back to see that the fins seemed to have disappeared.

"Phew, that was close," Fabio remarked.

He then heard an unfortunate crunch. Fabio glanced down to see a very small shark trying to chew at the front of the jetski.

"Beat it, scrub!" Fabio barked as he flicked the creature on the nose.

Misty finally made it to the beach and came to a gentle stop.

"See, no biggie," she remarked. "Hm, jetskis? Never met a guy who had one of these lying around, but how hard can it be?"

Misty hopped onto the last remaining jetski and took off to follow the others.


Confessional:

Fabio-I can now say that I've got up against a shark and came out the winner. Of course we'll probably leave out the part about its size.

Nora-Ack, I lost a lot of time getting back on my bike and this race is gonna be a bit closer than I thought. But that being said, I ain't seen head nor tail of Misty, so I ain't too worried.

Misty-So far this challenge has just been a sight-seeing tour. Come on, Chris, don't tell me this is the worst you have to throw at us.


Having ditched the sharks, Nora now took a look around at her surroundings. It was still all water.

"Well great, now which way was I supposed to be goin' again?" Nora remarked.

Nora shrugged and decided to just keep moving in the direction she was already headed.

"It's gotta lead somewhere, right?" she reasoned.

Beneath the surface, something big was moving just below Nora. She could see its massive silhouette flowing under the water.

"This better not be those pesky sharks," Nora remarked. "Vamoose, Hungry Hooligans! I ain't got no time to be eaten!"

Suddenly, Nora was surrounded by flailing tentacles that shot up to the surface.

"I take it back, I'd like the sharks now!" Nora cried.

With a thunderous splash, the tentacles slammed down and dragged Nora underwater with them.

Fabio found himself just circling around the stone spires, looking for some crack that he could slip through. Each time he thought he was nearing the end of the maze, he found himself deeper lost within.

"Come on, come on, how do you get out of this thing!?" Fabio bemoaned. "It wasn't even that big, what's going on here!?"

Misty was now leaving behind Wawankwa and traversing the wide open body of water.

"This is nice," she said to herself. "Just me enjoying the-what is that!?"

Misty spotted a silver fin, heading towards her at an alarming rate.

"Shark!" she cried out in panic.

Misty desperately tried twisted her handle in both directions which just caused her jetski to sputter and struggle in place. However, the creature that emerged was just a giggling dolphin.

"Oh a friendly dolphin," Misty sighed in relief. "You're not going to make any trouble for a sweet little girl like me, right?"

The dolphin gave another cackle, then flipped its tail and caused Misty's craft to spill over, sending her into the water.

"Why you little brat!" Misty snapped as she spat water out of her mouth.

The dolphin dived back into the water and departed.

"I hope you get caught in someone's net!" Misty cursed.


Confessional:

Nora-You're tellin' me you can afford and honest to goodness sea monster and still can't provide us a daily square meal!?

Fabio-You mean to tell me that I was able to escape a family of hungry sharks and yet I'm gonna lose this race because of some jenky rocks? That's just not right!

Misty-Well, I am certainly never going to answer 'dolphin' for What animal do you relate to most, anymore. I didn't realize they were such petty pests.


"I'm FREEE!" Fabio cheered as he spotted some sunlight trickling through around the corner.

He found that he was still well within the confines of his maze though.

"No…NOO!" Fabio sobbed. "Is there no end to this hell!?"

Fabio heard the sound of girlish laughter echoing through the passage.

"What now!? Have savage sirens come to drag me to watery grave!?" Fabio sobbed.

He then caught a glimpse through the stone cracks and saw Misty moving past.

"Oh no no no, that's not good!" Fabio gasped. "This rat has run the maze long enough, it's time to get me some cheese!"

Fabio surged forward once more and was pleased to see an opening big enough for him to fit through. Or so he thought. He charged towards the gap between two towering rocks and yet found his machine jammed between the two sides.

"Oh come on, COME ON!" Fabio groaned as the engine roared helplessly.

"Why hi there," Misty said sweetly. "Having some troubles there? Wish I could help but…"

Misty finished her thought just by giving a cute smile and tilt of her head.

"I'm not stuck, I just need a little more power," Fabio assured as he continued to try to launch himself free.

"Mhm, okay then!" Misty said. "I'll just carry along then."

Misty left Fabio behind while the boy grinded his teeth together and tried to shuffle his jetski forward.

"Come on, move it!" he ordered.

Fabio had to lean over and kick at the sides of the spires and inch forward, little by little. As soon as he was free though, the engine went full speed and he tumbled off, splashing right into the water.

"Great, just what I need," Fabio sighed.

With another sudden roar and splash, the monstrous tentacles broke through the surface again. This time though they were tied together in a knot, squirming to break free. Nora stood atop victorious.

"And let this be a lesson next time you think you're gonna mess with someone!" Nora exclaimed.

Nora dropped down into the water and floated next to Fabio.

"How's it hanging?" she asked.

"Well I just saw Misty leave us both behind," Fabio pointed out.

"What!? NO!" Nora gasped. "Well Imma need to borrow this…"

Nora hopped onto Fabio's jetski.

"Hey hold up!" Fabio exclaimed.

The boy quickly swam over and pulled himself up as well. There was barely any room for the two of them and the struggling quickly caused the machine to topple once more, knocking both rides into the water.

"Alright, alright, this ain't workin'!" Nora exclaimed. "We're gonna have to come to a temporary truce, otherwise neither one of us is winnin' this thing!"

"Fine," Fabio pouted. "But don't you try anything."

"Me?" Nora said innocently. "Don't YOU try anythin'!"

The two got back up on the jetski and managed to squeeze together awkwardly. Fabio gripped onto Nora as tightly as possible.

"Watch it with the hands!" Nora ordered.

"No way am I letting you try to knock me off," Fabio said. "If I fall we both go down!"


Confessional:

Misty-See, I told you. Once more I'm coming out on top simply by letting other people drive themselves into a mess, and leaving the road wide open for me to swoop on in.

Nora-Well we ain't got a lot of options here, so this may be a time where a little teamwork is still needed. Way I see it, I'm just losin' time if we keep on strugglin', but I can afford to bring Fabio to the next leg and then leave him well behind like I did before!

Fabio-MISTY is currently in first place!? I thought the one safety net I had was that she was never winning this race, but now even that's off the table.


Misty eventually spotted on the horizon a towering structure.

"Aha, that must be where I need to go," she realized. "Victory, here I come!"

Misty was able to get off at a dock, but that was the only surface to stand on. The rest of the building was a sleek stone tower reaching to the sky. Misty found a sturdy wooden door waiting for her.

"Alright, alright, now there's bound to be some tricks and traps in here," she said to herself. "Let's just be careful."

Misty opened the door and took one step after another into a wide hallway. She paused to examine what lay before her, just an empty passage.

"Okay, I think I'm good," she said.

She took one more step forward and suddenly the floor opened up, trapping her in a hidden room underneath,

"Goddammit!" Misty cursed.

By the time Fabio and Nora arrived, Misty was still trying to climb her way out of the trap she'd fallen into.

"Well didn't take you long to cost your lead," Fabio remarked.

"Yeah yeah I'd like to see either of you do this any quicker," Misty retorted.

"With pleasure!" Nora exclaimed as she spun through the air, bounced off one of the walls and landed at the other side.

"Oh yeah, well check this out!" Fabio exclaimed, leaping forward…and crashing right into Misty, sending them both to the bottom.

"Now look what you've done!" Misty snapped.

"I'll leave you two for some quality bonding," Nora said. "I've got a race to win though!"

Misty pushed Fabio aside and once again tried to climb up the sloped wall.

"Coming through!" Fabio exclaimed as he tried to get past Misty.

"Haven't you ever heard of ladies first!?" Misty retorted, shoving her hand in his face.

Both collapsed back at the bottom.

"Look, be a gentleman and help a lady out," Misty said while batting her eyelids. "Otherwise we're just going to be stuck here getting nowhere."

"Yeah yeah that sounds nice and all, but what's your plan here? I boost you up then you let me fall?" Fabio remarked.

"Well if you're offering," Misty said.

"Not gonna happen!" Fabio snapped.

Nora reached a spiraling staircase.

"Heck yeah, this means I'm goin' on up to the top!" Nora exclaimed.

As she started to ascend, however, several spiked balls rolled down from above.

"Whoop, wha, oh!" Nora gasped as she tried to weave her way between the rolling obstacles.

Her shawl was ripped from several of the spikes brushing against her. Just when she thought she had made it through, a smaller one rolled right into her shin, causing her to drop in pain.


Confessional:

Fabio-It's one thing to work together with Nora if it keeps us both in the running, but Misty? Yeah right! That girl would screw me over the first chance she got, so no way am I gonna give her that chance!

Misty-I may have lost the lead for now, but what did I tell you? These two bozos are sure to run themselves into more traps soon and leave the path wide open for me to move on ahead.

Nora-(rubbing her leg) That's gonna leave a mark…


Misty and Fabio both climbed out in tandem, each holding a palm to the other's face. With great effort they were both able to climb back to the floor.

"Well then, off you go," Misty said with a wave.

"What like you're just gonna let me take the lead?" Fabio asked.

"That's exactly it," Misty replied.

Fabio rubbed his chin thoughtfully but shrugged and decided to proceed. Not long after though he was smacked by a sandbag attached to a rope.

"Ha!" Misty laughed as Fabio was knocked to the floor. "Thanks for showing me where the next trap was."

Misty walked by, making sure to step aside as the sandbag swung by. She triumphantly continued to walk, forgetting that it was going to swing back. She was slammed right into the wall.

"You were saying?" Fabio remarked.

"After you," Misty groaned woozily, still leaning against the wall.

Fabio and Misty reached the spiral staircase. They could see up above, Nora tirelessly dancing her way around many obstacles and traps that lined the way.

"Well this should be fun," Fabio sighed.

"Lead the way," Misty said.

"You think you're so smart," Fabio groaned. "Let me tell you something, I am not going to fall for these measly traps so easily anymore and you'll feel silly for just letting me pass you by. For instance, it's clear that the even steps are the ones that activate the traps…"

"Okay thanks for the tip, bye!" Misty exclaimed, quickly hopping up the staircase two at a time.

She was launched back to the bottom by a spring-loaded step.

"Did I say even? My mistake!" Fabio laughed as he left Misty behind.

"You dare try to play ME!?" Misty gasped. "That is not…that's not how this works! I am the one who does the playing!"

Nora was making her way further and further up the tower. She dodged arrows that shot from the wall, pendulums that swung by her face, and steps that moved up and down. A net dropped from above and she had to swing to the side to avoid it, standing on her tiptoes and leaning over the edge. She nearly plummeted but managed to bring herself back to center. She kept going, only to see that the steps were missing up ahead. Indeed, certain sections were divided by gaps in the wall, forcing her to jump between them. Fabio panted heavily as he tried to catch up. He saw the spiked balls rolling towards him.

"Oh Jesus have mercy," Fabio cried.

The boy pressed himself against the wall and sucked in his gut, holding his breath until the balls passed. The brushed against him but left him unscathed. Once they were gone, Fabio exhaled loudly. The boy continued to stumble along. Fabio came up to the section with the separated steps suspended along the walls.

"Okay, just don't look down, just don't look down," Fabio told himself.

He tossed himself to make a jump. He struggled to land, but managed to remain grounded. He took another minute to catch his breath. Looking ahead he could see that the gaps between each section grew in width.

"This isn't looking pretty," he sighed.

"One, two," he counted to himself.

Just before he took off, flames shot from the wall.

"Whoa, whoa, WHOA!" Fabio gasped, stumbling backwards in a panic.

The boy lost his footing and rolled backwards over the edge. He desperately flung out his hands and gripped a corner. He could feel his grip slipping though, his palms were practically sticking to the smooth surface.

"Well, well, what have we here?" Misty remarked as she loomed over him. "You look like you could use some help. Why don't I show you to the ground floor?"

Misty dug her heel into Fabio's hand. He cried out in pain and let go, now just dangling by the one hand. Misty prepared to finish him off, when she was suddenly smacked by a part of the wall that had been ejected by a piston. Fabio knew his grip wouldn't last for long. He made the choice to let go and ensure that he landed atop of a swinging pendulum just as it passed by at the right time. However he realized that Misty was now clinging for his leg as both of them swung through the air above a massive drop.

"Get off!" Fabio snapped.

"I'll fall!" Misty pointed out.

"We're both going to fall at this rate," Fabio pointed out. "Can't you just let me have this!"

"Never!" Misty retorted.

"Alright, fine fine, but if we're going to get back in this we're going to have to work together," Fabio said, "We need to swing our weight at the same time towards the stairs. Do you trust me?"

"Not really, but it's not exactly like I have a choice here!" Misty said.

With both of them quickly losing their grips, they worked fast to get the pendulum to swing the way they wanted.

"Time to jump," Fabio said, "in one…two…three!"

Both leapt off and managed to return to the staircase.

"We made it!" Misty cheered. "We're alive!"

"Booyah!" Fabio cheered. "Oh and what was that about showing me to the ground floor…"

With a shove, Fabio sent Misty sprawling backwards out an open window.

"Waaaaaaah!" Misty cried as she plummeted stories down from the tower.

"No hard feelings, but you'd have done the same in my shoes!" Fabio called after her.

At the top, a battered an exhausted Nora emerged from a panel and weakly threw up her arms.

"Ta-da!" she breathed.

"Congratulations Nora!" Chris said. "You are the first to arrive and will be one of our final duelists. Now we wait to see who will be the other."

Chris and Nora had to wait a little while longer, but after some time had passed, Fabio pulled himself up as well.

"I…just need…a minute…to…" Fabio said before collapsing on his back, heaving in and out.

"Congratulations Fabio, you have also earned the right to duel for the grand prize!" Chris announced. "That means that Misty has been officially eliminated in third place. Chef, show her out!"

Chef used a large fishing net to pull Misty out of the water.

"No, no I can't be out now!" Misty exclaimed. "Cheffy, you're not going to let this happen, right? A sweet strong man like yourself. Surely you can find some way to give me another chance at this thing. Look to that flame in your heart…"

"Girl, you're talkin' to a man who's been scorned by a woman one too many times," Chef barked. "There ain't no flame left in my heart, and even if there were it certainly wouldn't be sparked by some skinny white MINOR like yourself! Now move your butt!"

Chef dragged the soaking Misty back to the dock and tossed her aboard the recently arrived Boat of Losers.


Confessional:

Fabio-Did I have to toss her out of a window? Nah, probably not. But she went out of her way to try to screw me over, and what goes around comes around, baby!

Nora-Phew, I'm already feelin' like my body's been beat battered and badaboomed to the max, but I need to muster up just one more little blast of adrenaline to bring this win on home for me!

Misty-Whatever, it's not like I even wanted to win, I'm already pretty and that's something those two can never say. NEVER!


Fabio and Nora stood atop the tower, looking out at the shimmering body of water around them.

"Fabio, Nora, the two of you are now each other's only remaining obstacle to reaching the grand prize of one million dollars!" Chris exclaimed. "The final duel is simple, all you gotta do it stay up here on the battlefield. Or to think of it another way, all you have to do is knock your opponent off the battlefield. You're free to use anything you can find to your advantage."

"Uuuh…" Fabio remarked as he gestured to the open space all around them.

"Ain't a whole lot of anything to find up here, is there?" Nora pointed out.

"Oh yeah, about that…" Chris said as he pulled out a switch and pressed a button.

Chris descended into the floor, while the rest of the area began to expand in shape. The once flat rooftop turned into a layered field of raised and sunken panels. Nora and Fabio both found themselves standing in the pit of it all, facing one another.

"That's your cue!" Chris's voice announced. "Let the fight begin!"

"Okay, okay, show me what you got!" Fabio exclaimed as he raised his fists. "I'm ready for it, come on don't hold back!"

Nora made a swift motion and swept Fabio's feet out from under him.

"How's that for what I've got!?" Nora taunted.

"Hey hey, I was so not ready for that!" Fabio exclaimed.

Fabio decided that a head on fight but not be to his favor and instead turned to hide among the disrupted panels.

"Ain't no use tryin' to run!" Nora called after him. "This is only ending one way."

Fabio hopped over some raised platforms then dived into an alley that was formed where the floor dipped. He paused to catch his breath.

"Okay, okay, time to stage a sneak attack," he said to himself while punching his palm in preparation.

Nora tapped him on the shoulder from behind.

"Surprise!" she exclaimed

"Don't hurt me!" Fabio squeaked.

"That depends, you think a drop from up here might hurt?" Nora said as she grabbed Fabio's collar and dragged him towards the edge.

Fabio noticed what appeared to be a handle protruding from one of the raised blocks.

"Remember when Chris said to use what we could find?" Fabio said as he grabbed the handle and pulled it loose," well I think I just found…"

He revealed a duster.

"Uuh…this?" Fabio said before shoving it into Nora's face and swirling it around.

"ACHOO!" Nora sneezed, releasing Fabio as she did.

"Aha, now take this!" Fabio exclaimed as he charged.

Nora managed to slide out of the way though, and Fabio just ended up running straight towards the edge.

"Whoops," he exclaimed as he came to a stop.

Nora delivered an elbow from behind, but Fabio ducked to dodge without having to turn around.

"Aha, you're getting predictable!" Fabio exclaimed as he clasped her arm.

"Me? Predictable? I beg to differ!" Nora exclaimed, twisting her arm and pressing Fabio back at the same time.

Fabio released his grip and rolled to the side before Nora could push him over the edge.

'You ain't the only one who can pick up some tricks!" Nora exclaimed, pulling on a cord from the ground.

The rope had a three pronged hook at the end, which Nora tossed after Fabio. It snagged the back of his shirt and the boy came to a clumsy drop from the sudden tug. Nora began to pull on the rope, dragging Fabio backwards. Fabio however grabbed the rope and pulled in the opposite direction, catching Nora off guard. Fabio ripped the hook out of his shirt, tearing out a patch of fabric in the process.

"You are going to be paying for this!" Fabio said. "Even if I win the prize money, it's just the principle of it all!"

Nora twirled around and spun the rope out of Fabio's grip. She then pranced around him, wrapping the rope around his body.

"Look at you, all neatly tied together ready for delivery!" Nora exclaimed

Nora once again tried to drag Fabio towards the edge. Despite his legs being stuck together, though, Fabio was still able to hop away from her.

"Now you just look ridiculous, Rowdy Rabbit," Nora laughed.

Fabio moved himself towards another one of the dips in the formation. He dropped down below and rolled out of sight from Nora. While still on the ground, he tried to wriggle himself free from his bind.

"Alright, alright, there's gotta be something around here that I can use," he said as he felt around the walls.

"How's about this?" Nora remarked as she revealed an extendable pincer.

She snapped Fabio up within the metallic claw. Fabio quickly reached into a crevice, hoping to find anything. Nora pulled him back up to the level standing.

"You don't want to catch these fists of fury!" Fabio exclaimed as he swung punches at the air.

"Oh I think I've already got the catch of the day!" Nora exclaimed. "Now it's time to release."

As they neared the edge, Fabio opened his fist. He revealed he had been holding onto a small tubular flashlight. With a flick of the switch, he illuminated a bright light in Nora's face. She winced and looked away. Fabio leaned forward, tackling Nora and the two collided along the floor.

"This prize is mine!" Fabio exclaimed as he tried to kick Nora towards the edge.

"No way, no how!" Nora protested.

Fabio feigned a punch, Nora pulled to the side but Fabio was expecting this.

"Here's a little trick I learned from you," Fabio said as he swept his leg, catching Nora off balance.

"Whoa, whoa!" Nora gasped as she staggered over the edge.

Fabio tapped her on the nose and she rolled over the edge, dropping down towards the lake.

"We have a winner!" Chris exclaimed. "The prize of one million dollars goes to…..FABIO!"

"YAAAAASSSS!" Fabio cried as he dropped to his knees. "This is it, it's finally my moment!"

Confetti shot out from cannons all over the tower. Bills and coins rained down over Fabio as he threw both his hands Several more pillars emerged from the tower to reveal the other eliminated contestants all offering their applause.

"Trust in the sea, First Mate Fabio!" Kirby exclaimed. "I always knew that she would get you to where you needed to be!"

"Yeah yeah whatever, I'm sure you'll just spend it on a bunch of boring commercial products that society expects you to buy!" Eden scoffed.

"Gotta tip my hat to you, Mr. Fabio," Corny remarked. "You done did what all of us couldn't and ought to be mighty proud!"

A drenched Misty and Nora were the last two to emerge.

"Fine, take the money," Misty scoffed. "You're ugly enough that not even that can save you from a lifetime of loneliness."

"Believe me, that sounds better than any poor sap who ends up stuck with you!" Fabio remarked.

"I'll second that," Ander remarked.

"Wow, hateful!" Misty scoffed. "But what else would I expect from a bunch of idiot men!"

"Well I for one say a mighty groovalicious congratulations to you, Fabulous Fabio!" Nora exclaimed. "I thought I could tap dance my way to the top, but you sure showed me!"

"Indeed Fabio will get the massive honor of being the latest Total Drama Winner!" Chris exclaimed. "Thanks for watching, folks, hope you've enjoyed the show as much as I have! So long as there are fame-hungry desperate kids, the Total Drama will be back again with more of the madness. Until then though, this is Chris McClean signing off one last time…on Total…Drama…RESORT!"