Maria had never been on house arrest, but she imagined it felt kinda like the crackdown Cassandra imposed after the stunt with Blackwall and the motorcycle. She supposed it beat being in actual jail because she had her phone and the food was better. Still, she'd face the Seeker's fury a thousand times for that long, winding ride back to Haven with no sound but the roar in her ears. When she closed her eyes she could feel the wind whipping her hair from her braid, slicing through her coat, freezing her cheeks. She fantasized during that ride about telling Blackwall to keep going, talking him into dropping her at Amaranthine. She could make her way to Antiva or Rivain and vanish into another life, be someone else. Someone who ran a used bookstore or tended bar, lived in a clean, neat apartment and attended classes in the evening the way she always planned to. The tantalizing freedom felt so close on that bike she almost believed it could happen.
She held onto that feeling while Haven set out to smother her. The Seeker decreed she wasn't allowed out of the gates without a guard, then amended that rule to state Solas, Cole, Blackwall, and Varric didn't count when Maria tried to take a walk with Cole. The whole town full of religious fanatics worried so much about her safety it'd been easy for the Seeker to convince them to play along.
Then there was an avalanche of clothes in her room waiting to envelope her. Josephine's shopping spree bordered on the outrageous. Outfits spilled out of the closet and two armoires that appeared in her room while she'd been at the Crossroads. Most of the garments made Maria roll her eyes because she couldn't imagine a world where she'd wear them. A veritable mountain of silk and lace skirts, dresses, blouses, and tailored pants all got shoved back into the armoires from whence they came.
But some of the purchases did set her heart aflutter despite herself. A couple flannel shirts tailored to fit her that, miraculously, buttoned the whole way up if she wanted them to. There were silk camisoles that she layered underneath them, a warm black wool hat of her own, jeans and leggings that curved to her form effortlessly, shirts of soft cotton, the best damn sports bras she'd ever owned, and…
Her coat. She fucking loved that coat Josephine found. It was lined with thick warm wool, the outside leather, with a hood that framed her face in fur softer than anything she'd ever felt. It fit snug around her frame and made her look like a damn model while keeping her warm. She instantly forgave Josephine everything, even the footage released that showed her heroically closing the crack outside the Crossroads.
Thankfully, they cut out her rather undignified fainting onto Varric.
Cullen even had new recruits clamoring to see her, meet her, and she felt honor bound to oblige. If they'd signed up because of her, the least she could do was greet them personally. She tried to remember their names, had to resort to faking it sometimes.
But, if she was being honest with herself, all of that wasn't why she felt suffocated. She had no one but herself to blame, really. She told herself that none of this was real, that her life was no fairy tale, that the magic that tore the universe in two couldn't succeed in tearing her out of the Carta anymore than Fynn could after his death. Still, she'd gotten used to freedom in the week she'd been there, even if she knew it couldn't last.
Maria knew it was about to come crashing down as soon as she walked into Leliana's room and saw the only person present was the spymaster herself.
"I got your text." Maria held up her phone as if she needed it to explain why she'd come. Leliana was tapping away at a tablet screen, frowning severely. Her eyes flicked up and she nodded, waving Maria in.
"One moment. The mayor of Cumberland has impounded medicine Josephine ordered as a political stunt."
"You only need a moment to take care of that?" Maria joked weakly, clearing a spot on one of the desks and hoisting herself up. She took a look at one of the stacks of papers she moved, all marked 'confidential'.
"I am threatening to destroy his marriage if he does not pull his head from his ass." Leliana glared at her screen. "If this fails, I am going to suggest sending Cullen deliver a more violent solution."
Maria giggled in spite of herself. "Maker. Remind me not to make you mad."
Leliana looked up with a small smile. "I do not suspect you will. People are speaking about you everywhere. Josie will have a meeting arranged in Val Royeaux by the end of the day with the remaining clerics. You did more during your time at the Crossroads than we could have hoped."
"Sorry we couldn't find you friend." Maria shrugged awkwardly, refusing to meet those pale blue eyes. Leliana sighed and returned her gaze to her tablet.
"I thank you for trying. The Wardens are dear to my heart, particularly Chantal. It worries me to think… but we will get to the bottom of it. Blackwall is trying to track down some of his brothers in arms and I know well where Chantal may go." Leliana nodded to herself. "We will locate her."
With that, Leliana sat her tablet down and leaned heavily on the table with one arm. She used the other one to push her black hood back and reveal her red hair. "You have spoken frequently to your sister, but I'm afraid she hasn't been honest with you about her circumstances."
Maria felt like she swallowed a block of ice, but Leliana didn't look upset. She looked like a woman intent on handling a problem one way or another. "Bea has a habit of not exactly being truthful with me. Usually about who she's sleeping with, but…"
"Dwyka is threatening her. He's upset that you have made no indication about returning, that he has not heard from you since. He is demanding that Bea put him in contact with you. She refuses to do so."
Maria fought the urge to bury her head in her hands. "Damnit, Bea…" She muttered instead, staring down at the floor.
"I was content to allow her to manage things as she saw fit. I will say your sister is made of the same steel you are, Maria. She has told him repeatedly, and rather creatively, to fuck off. He threatened to break every bone in her body, she told him to go ahead, she'd enjoy watching you put a bullet in his forehead."
Bea never knew when to shut up. "Sounds like her. Please tell me she's fine."
"She is." Leliana confirmed and Maria felt the knot in her chest loosen. "A woman she works with is in the hospital with several broken bones after the Carta caught her leaving the apartment Bea and you share. Dwyka's way of letting her know he's serious I suppose. Elf girl named…"
"Iris." Maria guessed, rubbing her forehead. Leliana nodded sympathetically.
"Your sister hasn't been able to go to work herself since the media caught your name. Iris brought takeout and beer, spent several hours there, then left shortly after three in the morning."
Maria knew Iris, a slender elven girl with big brown eyes and a sweet smile. She also knew Bea and Iris were more like friends-with-benefits than just friends. Bea must have been furious.
Furious and frightened.
"Is she going to be alright?" Maria needed to ask that first, needed to figure out if the poor girl's blood was on her hands.
"She'll be back to dancing in a few months. I have people watching both her and your sister. Discreetly." Leliana cleared a spot on the table next to Maria and hoisted herself up neatly. "I need to know what you would like to do."
"He wins. I'll call him." Maria closed her eyes. She reminded herself not to feel so devastated. She knew. She fucking knew she'd never get away.
"That is an option." Leliana's voice was carefully neutral. "There are others. There is enough evidence to have him thrown in jail for something, I'm sure, if it makes it through the proper channels. That would keep him out of our hair, no? We can also move your sister somewhere safe, I have friends in Denerim and Orlais who would shelter her."
Both things she'd thought of herself more than once. Running and hiding or sending Dwyka's ass to jail, but neither of those would protect them, not from…
"We could also send an assassin." Leliana offered carefully, watching her face.
Maria wheeled to face Leliana head on, her wide eyes reflected in Leliana's grave gaze. "What?" She asked, bewildered, unsure she could have heard…
"An assassin." Leliana repeated. "I suspect whatever ties you to him cannot be solved by the first two methods. You are both intelligent and resourceful enough to do the first two on your own and leave him ages ago. That you didn't… well, information is powerful. Secrets are dangerous."
Leliana smiled wryly and gestured at the empty room with all her monitors. "I know this better than any other."
The words felt like ice when she spoke, but she had to ask. "Could you? Have him killed and have it not traced back to me? To my sister?"
"If it is what you wish, I can research ways to make it happen." Leliana could have been talking about food supplies and the odd normality of the conversation was the only thing keeping Maria from screaming. "I will need some time. It would need to be done carefully, but I would not flinch to remove someone such as he from this world."
"You can't do it. Not it you're not sure… Bea…" Maria remembered prison, the cold walls, the unending days. She remembered longing to be free, to be home, felt like a caged animal waiting to be prodded. Bea would do even worse, Bea was made for freedom, she'd wilt like a hothouse orchid in a cell.
"I will only do so if it can be done safely and if it is what you desire." Leliana promised. What Maria desired for was to kill him herself, to payback all the degradation, the pain, the scars on her soul with his blood.
But if she could be free, if they both could be free… she'd take it however she could have it. Maria nodded quietly and Leliana placed one gentle hand on her thigh. Maria looked down to see she clutched a simple black phone in her hand. When she withdrew her palm, she left the device. "I did not want Dwyka to have your true phone number. I had an agent slip him this one. Of course, the first thing he did was send a virus through a link, one to install spyware on it."
"Always thought he was reading my messages somehow." The words tasted like ashes, but Leliana simply looked amused.
"Amateurish." She decreed. "I allowed it and popped a program of my own in to bamboozle it. He'll receive a flurry of records, messages, phone calls. All innocuous, none of them real. You do not need to do anything except…"
The phone vibrated on Maria's thigh and she tensed in spite of herself. There were already three message notifications flashing on the screen. "Answer it." Maria responded dully.
"For now." Leliana's tone was a promise. "Dwyka has been informed if he steps foot on this side of the waking sea, all payments from the Inquisition will stop. I do not believe he is stupid enough to do so, but he needs to feel you are still within his control. Can you make him believe that?"
Maria still felt like she was under his damn thumb, so it wouldn't be hard. She nodded.
"I've told Varric, Cassandra, Solas, and Blackwall that this is a special secure line between you and I. Nobody has questioned it, they will not snoop through it." Leliana promised. "Have I forgotten any contingencies?"
One, but Maria would handle it herself. Still, Leliana seemed to know everything… "Bea should probably leave Ostwick."
"I agree." Leliana frowned. "Although she doesn't seem amenable. I have already put out feelers. She is stubborn."
"My lawyer from Ostwick." Maria began quietly. "I'll call him, he can convince her to leave."
"Good." Leliana nodded. "There is one other thing. A gift if you will."
The redhead slipped from the table and dashed to another, grasping a small case and tossing it into the air. Maria caught it with one hand and examined the smooth leather before she flicked it open, caught sight of the pair of glasses within.
"Did Varric request these for me?" She asked, amused in spite of herself. Leliana smiled wickedly in response.
"No, but I suspect he will enjoy them." Leliana pulled out her phone. "Put them on."
She did so, blinking owlishly behind the lenses as she settled them on her nose. She waited for something to happen, the same way the lenses of Varric's glasses turned the whole world into a supernatural light show. "Do I need to turn them on?"
"No." Leliana pressed a button on her phone, then turned it so the screen was facing her. Leliana must have switched the thing into camera mode, because it looked like it was trying to take a selfie, but the girl in the frame…
The girl in the frame had dusky skin and dark eyes accented by the thick dark frames of the glasses she wore. Her hair was a fall of black silk, as different from Maria's as it could be, but when Maria reached up to touch, the girl in the camera mimicked the movement with her own hand wearing Maria's new coat.
"Holy shit."
Leliana giggled at Maria's response. "I am sick of Cullen trying to stuff a hat on your head. The horror of hiding such pretty hair… This is much more effective, no? A simple glamour spell, one of my spies stated it will last for years as long as you do not break the glasses."
On closer inspection, Maria could find her features in the camera image. Her freckles over her nose, her cheekbones and her plump lips. Really, the coloring was all that had changed, but it was enough. Without her distinctive hair or eyes, people's eyes would float right over her in a crowd.
She loved them instantly, loved that elusive feeling of freedom back in her hands. Leliana took her phone back and Maria stared down at her darker skinned hands with a laugh.
Then the phone, the awful black one, buzzed again and she sighed. She didn't bother to take the glasses off, not yet, but she couldn't avoid Dwyka forever. She turned the screen on and took a look at the texts.
Dwyka: u were right about ferelden
Dwyka: i'm sorry the shit isnt worth it just come home baby
Dwyka: that bitch said u agreed to stay i need to hear it from u
Dwyka: u belong here with me and u know it
Maria: You put Bea's girlfriend in the hospital to get my attention. Getting paid isn't enough?
Dwyka: i need to know what ur doing
Dwyka: and u know ur whore sister deserves worse
Maria didn't bother responding right away. Instead, she pulled her phone out of her pocket, the one Dwyka couldn't have, not this time. She had to google the number, but it didn't take her more than a second to find the right one. She clicked to call and placed the phone up to her ear, ignoring the buzzing of the other phone in her hand. Someone answered the line in a bored, yet foreboding, monotone. "Hissrad and Aclassi Partners in Law. What do you want?"
"Skinner?" She'd never been so happy to hear the aggravated elf before.
"Yeah, what of it?"
"It's Maria." She swallowed the tide of emotion, the comforting familiarity more welcome than she wanted to admit. "Maria Cadash."
"Not dead yet?" Skinner muttered. "I can't believe it. Guess I owe Dalish that fifty sovereigns after all."
Maria laughed. "Sorry?"
"Yeah, yeah." Skinner grumbled. "One minute. Supposed to get the Chief the minute your dwarven ass called in. Gotta go pull him out of a meeting with some Shems. Most fun I'll have all day."
xx
Varric didn't expect to feel so forlorn to be holding the first advance copies of his newest book. Usually, when the box arrived, Varric was elated. The arrival of the box meant his editor was off his back and Varric was free as a bird. He'd take the box down to the Hanged Man on the bottom floor of his building, his favorite shitty bar that served his favorite shitty beer, order a couple pitchers of said shitty beer, send his friends a text, and wait.
Isabela usually showed up first, mainly because she was rarely away from the Hanged Man's bar. If she was, she was just upstairs in her room two floors below his entertaining her never-ending stream of company, she just needed to put on pants. Or, as was often the case, come down pantsless. Then it was always a toss-up between Merrill and Anders rolling in next, depending on how lost Daisy got and how busy Blondie's clinic was. They'd all trickle in after that, one at a time or in pairs.
Finally, Hawke would show up dragging any stragglers, usually Aveline or Fenris, sometimes both. She'd strongarm them into the chairs over their protests that they had more important things to do.
"Fasta vass, woman." Fenris would grumble while one side of his lips tipped up helplessly. Varric always suspected Fenris, at least, enjoyed Hawke hunting him down and dragging him along no matter how much the elf protested.
Then Varric magnanimously passed around the copies. Merril would chirp about the pretty cover art and the feel of the pages. Isabela would dive straight in looking for the dirty bits to read aloud while Sebastian and Bethany blushed. Hawke would pick a random spot and start doing dramatic readings in silly voices until Aveline threatened to throw her outside and Fenris needed to hide his laughter in his wine glass.
Now, Varric had a box full of books and nobody to call. It seemed even more heart wrenching because it was their book, the one full of their stories. He sat in Haven's lone shitty bar with his box and one copy of the book flipped open to the photo insert. In the middle, a large picture of all of them leaning against the Hanged Man's bar right after Hard in Hightown made the bestseller list. Aveline and Isabela both hoisting Varric off the ground, Hawke doubled over laughing, Merrill fluttering anxiously at her elbow. Another photo off to the side of Isabela and Hawke knee-deep in the surf off the Wounded Coast, Isabela's bikini leaving remarkably little to the imagination, Hawke holding a frisbee in one hand. The last photo showed the outside of the Amell estate with Bethany leaning against the gate talking to Sebastian.
Varric flipped the page, came to one of the rare photos of Hawke and Fenris together, just the two of them, unguarded and in serious conversation at one of Daisy's dinner parties showcasing her terrifying cuisine. Fenris tipped his head downwards and Hawke leaned toward him, as if they'd kiss over one of Merrill's culinary disasters. Varric knew they didn't, not that night, but it had been the night he realized it was only a matter of time. They had their own gravity, those two, and they were both caught up in it.
Ancestors, he missed them. He missed all of them.
"Hey, Cole said you needed me?"
He'd been so maudlin, he hadn't even noticed the whole bar hush when she walked in. Varric looked up into her soft gray eyes, a small smile twisting her lips up just on one side. Her hair shone even in the dingy neon lights, but she looked washed out, exhausted. There was a heaviness at the corners of her eyes that weighed her down.
"Cole said I needed you?" Varric repeated. He hadn't told the kid to get Maria, had he?
"Yeah?" Maria's smile broadened, brought some color back to her face. "Did he hear something he wasn't supposed to again?"
His laugh surprised him and he grinned up into her bright face. Yes, this was exactly what he needed. Someone to keep him company, take his mind off the ghosts of the past. He gestured to the chair opposite his and pulled his box closer to his side while laying his arm over the book spread in front of him. She eyed both curiously but sat down without complaint.
"I wasn't ready for you yet." Varric sighed theatrically. "I wanted to do something special, y'know. For my number one fan."
"You have a number one fan?"
Her eyes sparkled and yes, that heaviness seemed to be slowly dropping from her face. He tsked and glared at her pointedly. "You're a cruel woman, Princess."
"You know, Cassandra seems rather fond of you." Maria put her elbows on the table, rested her chin in her hands. "Maybe she's your number one fan?"
"She already got her hands on a copy of this." Varric growled in exasperation. "Subpoenaed by editor for an advance manuscript. Then she stabbed it."
Varric paused thoughtfully. "Believe it or not, still not the worst review I've ever received."
Maria's laughter echoed in the bar and caused the assorted other patrons to smile amongst themselves. Behind her back, he saw people settle into their chairs, return to their beers, a silent unspoken agreement to give their Herald a moment's peace, to let her pretend she was like everyone else kicking around Haven.
Whether she knew it or not, she wormed her way into these people's hearts. It was difficult not to notice Maria trying so hard to learn the names of the people stuck here with them, going out of her way to offer what she could of herself.
And they were falling in love with her for it. Every single one of the Inquisition followers, every single refugee.
Maria leaned forward as he thought, trying to peer into the box. "You wrote another book? Is it the sequel to Hard in Hightown?"
"No, this one is actually nearer and dearer to my heart." With a flourish, he shut the book in front of him and spun the crimson cover to face Maria. Emblazoned in black was a hawk spinning up to the sky, wings spread, the title spelled out underneath it. Varric watched Maria read it, waited until her eyes flicked up to his.
"Is it about her? Hawke?" Maria asked. Her fingers twitched toward it as if she could barely help herself and Varric shoved the book towards her with a grin.
"Yeah, it's mostly about Hawke." Varric admitted. "Biography isn't usually my genre, but it can't be worse than my foray into romance."
Maria opened the book, let her fingers trace over the table of contents with a curious sort of wonder. "Top of the bestseller list yet?" Maria teased.
"Not yet, but it doesn't technically go on sale until next week. These are gifts for my fans, but if you're not actually a fan…"
Varric reached out as if to pull the book away from her but she tugged it closer quickly, smirking "I didn't say I wasn't a fan." She protested. "Besides, think of the marketing potential. My face is on every damn newschannel anyway, what happens if they see me with your book? This could be the first step of my career as a what's-it-called."
Varric groaned. "Social media influencer."
"Exactly!"
"For the love of Andraste, I'd rather you go back to organized crime when this is all done."
If he wasn't getting so damn good at reading her facial expressions, he'd have missed it. Instead, for just a second, he caught a hint of blazing defiance. Then, quickly as it appeared, it was smothered underneath a wicked grin.
"You wrote a book." She muttered, leaning back and looking down at it again with a smile that bordered on proud. "I feel like we should throw you a release party."
He wanted to ask about that blazing expression, about the heaviness she'd walked in with, but he couldn't bring himself to break the light, teasing mood. Not when he craved this easy camaraderie like he craved air to breathe. Not when he wanted more of that sly grin pointed in his direction like it was meant for him alone. "Always hated release parties, honestly."
"I should at least buy you a beer." She looked up, sheepish. "But I'm actually not getting paid for this whole Herald business."
"Princess, you've got no idea how many times my own damn parties end up on my tab." He chuckled and stood from the table. "What do you drink?"
"Whatever's cheapest, honestly." She shrugged carelessly. "If they've got a deck of cards, see if we can borrow them too. We'll see how long I can hide in here before Cassandra comes looking."
It sounded like the best idea anyone had come up with in ages. Maria tipped her chin up and let her lips curl playfully around her teeth. "Hell, since it's your book we're celebrating I may even let you win."
She let him win once, then proceeded to crush him. If they'd been playing for money, she'd own his share of Rogue Tech. Still, he couldn't begrudge her victories when they brought such a pretty flush to her skin. He hadn't taken her snide remark about illegal gambling seriously, but he should have. Varric would not make the same mistake again.
They weren't drunk, but just tipsy enough to make the walk from the bar back to the house amusing despite the bitter cold. She had the hood of her new coat pulled up, the fur a halo around her laughing face.
"I head out to the farmer's market, thinking that I have to see this shit for myself. Sure enough, damn Daisy stands there in the center of chaos, red marker in hand, Aveline practically spitting fire up above her. Daisy sees me, beams that big smile of hers and says…"
"Oh no!" Maria muffled her giggles with her hand. "She didn't!"
"Daisy says 'Varric! Humans get so upset when you draw on their things, but I thought it was a fine idea. Until all the shouting.' So I said Daisy, listen sweetheart, I didn't mean seriously draw arrows all over the damn market, but…"
"Did Aveline make you clean it up?"
"On hands and knees! She's a slave driver, that woman. Also terrifying, like a battering ram with tits."
Maria doubled over she was laughing so hard, tears glimmering like crystals at the corner of her eyes. "Stop!" She protested weakly. "I can't take anymore."
Varric reached for her with the hand that wasn't carrying his box of books under his arm and tugged her until she stood upright again, wiping tears from her eyes, breathless with the echoes of her laughter. They were scant inches apart, her other hand curling into his shoulder, his arm loosely wrapped around her waist. She smelled like beer, that ever present faint hint of cinnamon, a bit of gunsmoke. He tipped his head down and she leaned in just a bit, her smile beguiling. The street lamp above them illuminated a circle around their forms. It also caught the sparkling flurries of snow in the air around them, glitter falling lazily to the ground.
Gravity. It was like they had their own gravity, Varric thought, a flash of inspiration while he counted the freckles dusting her nose.
"Miss Cadash!"
She didn't step away, but she tipped her head to the side to see over his shoulder. "Josephine?" She called cheerfully.
"You've been invited!" Josephine was beside them in a flurry of her ruffled peacoat. She was still carrying her tablet in her elegant, leather gloved hands. "The clerics have invited you to Val Royeaux! They wish to hear what you have to say!"
"What?" Maria asked, confused. "Why do I…?"
"Come!" Josephine snatched Maria out of his grip and whirled her away. "There is much to do! Arrangements to be made!"
Maria looked over her shoulder helplessly as Ruffles marched her away and Varric chuckled, but the sound hid the way his entire world had tilted precariously sideways in that one moment. Because if Josephine hadn't yelled, if Maria's attention hadn't drifted from him…
Maker take him, Varric was going to kiss the damn woman. Maybe not tonight, but it was going to happen, and he didn't see a force in Thedas capable of stopping it.
"She needed you."
Varric nearly shit himself at the sound of Cole's voice. The kid melted out of the shadows near the house, eyes on Maria's retreating form. "And you needed her. It should be easy, but it's not. I don't understand why."
Varric could give the kid a hundred reasons, but if he was honest with himself, he didn't really want to. He wanted it to be easy too. As easy as falling, as easy as gravity.
