Yes, yes, yes! I'm still writing this story XD Sometimes, you just need to step back from it for a second to get the urge to continue!
But, thank you thank you THANK YOU on ALL the reviews I got on the last chapter! That was incredible! So, thank you to : krankykitty, DaniGB, viola1701e, LC003, Chantal9, kennaroo, Caffeinatedkiss, sophiecambellbower, Elizabeththelast, xXMizz Alec VolturiXx, kingphobes, and guest!
Guest: Yes, I know I know I did...sometimes, my muses leave on a very prolonged vacation!
Back Room of Ancient Rune Classroom; 1999
Hermione had to re-read a sentence three times before marking it with a red-inked quill. True, the student's work was atrocious, but that was only partially responsible for Hermione's absolute lack of attention.
Sitting next to her, perching on the arm of that bumpy and rather uncomfortable couch, sat Theo. He was grading his own stack with a type of concentration he gave to everything he found worth it. He was chewing on the top of his quill. For someone who usually assured everything was neat and precise, he'd turned the top feathers into a sad looking mess with his absent-minded gnawing.
She tucked it away into the ever-growing 'Theodore Nott' file that was in her brain under lock and key.
While she couldn't say the past three or so years had given her and Theo ample time to talk, Hermione was always watching. She'd started to garner quite the little treasure trove of information on him.
He enjoyed cooking, which was hardly a surprise. Potions and cooking were just magically one degree of separation away from each other. He enjoyed it as an amateur hobby, and Hermione had heard rumors he was quite good. He hated coffee and preferred tea. In fact, he preferred tea over any other drink around. He liked to travel, but his favorite spot was Spain. His family used to go there every summer. He had a worn copy of Lord of the Rings that he carried with him, and it was his favorite book series.
Like little drops in a rainfall of the storm that was Theodore Nott, Hermione always found herself trying to drench herself in this knowledge.
She was sure she had figured out what the price was. Oh, she was half-sure that Theo was just messing around or that whatever plans he'd had fallen through. However, there was perhaps an unexpected turn of events. Hermione's unending fascination with him. If she hadn't checked four times, she'd be sure she was hit with some sort of charm or love potion!
Hermione had been completely entranced with Theodore Nott for the better part of four years at this point. She'd found her gaze always drawn to his, always watching whenever she was drifting off. He went from being a boy she hardly noticed to a boy she saw everywhere. She watched his kindness, his preciseness, his intelligence, and his quietness and somewhere along the way realized she'd fallen in love with him, despite very few conversations.
The arrival of 5th year had been tumultuous, as she and Harry had created Dumbledore's Army. She hadn't found any good reasons to talk to him then, and besides that, he'd started dating Daphne Greengrass. While they seemed like a good couple, Hermione had often thought that maybe- if she'd given Theo a chance that day at the lake- he'd be dating her instead.
And then 6th year, when everything had gotten so confusing. Theo was the sort of crush that she held onto underneath it all, but that was hardly any reason to stop her own life. By this point, she'd been almost sure- as most had- that Daphne and Theo were meant to be. When her own feelings for Ron started to bloom, no one could have been more surprised.
And then after that, there was that year running away, finding horcruxes. Hermione wasn't sure what Nott had been doing during that time, but she thought about him. She thought about him constantly. For as much as her crush on Ron started to flutter alive, there were many nights when she found herself praying for Theo's safety, for his intelligence to pull him through, that he wouldn't be killed by an Auror or his own men. She gave more thought to Theo than was strictly reasonable during this time.
She never ran into him, only Malfoy that one time, so she had hope. That day in the Manor, the question had been on the tip of her tounge, to question after Theo. She knew that would only lead to disaster. She knew she couldn't. She kept quiet.
Ron had kissed her in the Chambers, as the whole world knew. Hermione wasn't the sort to keep waiting for something she had settled herself into thinking wasn't going to happen, and she was happy with Ron. Most of the time.
After the war, he was still dating Daphne. The Greengrasses, Pucey, Malfoy, Theodore, Warrington, and Zabini were all Slytherins that were freed of most of the horrific things others were condemned for. For most of them, there was the explicit understanding they were to be watched like hawks for their last year at Hogwarts, a real last year. Hermione had already made up her mind about going, but a part of her felt like crying when she heard Theo would be there too.
After much poking and prodding, she'd convinced the boys to come back. A part of her because she told herself they needed to finish the education. A part to assure that she wouldn't do anything stupid without them there, such as, kiss Theo.
Those plans had all been fine and dandy, until she'd gotten to her first day of classes and realized that Theo was in nearly every single one. They shared a similar brain, so really, who was she kidding? She saw Theo in class more than she saw Harry or Ron or Ginny, which wasn't doing great things for her mental will. But, it was doing fantastic things for her dream-self, which always flung her to some faraway place kissing Theo and letting him take off her clothes and whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
In some of the dreams, they met in the library. In others, they were in his Slytherin dorm. In one, he was asking her to run away with him. And in all of these dreams, she always recognized that she was dating Ron, but she never seemed to care.
She didn't like being that sort of person. The sort that would cheat on her significant other. However, she assured herself that these were only dreams. It was what kept her longing for him at bay so she didn't do something stupid in person.
She wasn't a home wrecker either. She may not love Daphne, but she respected her enough to not attempt anything. But great Godrick, that hardly stopped her from thinking about it all the time.
This particular class was Ancient Runes. They'd both finished the advanced-level classwork somewhere at the end of 6th year. Professor Babbling had offered them this; be teaching assistants for the rest of the classes, and then once a week she'd give them homework and their own private lesson. It would be an Advanced Ancient Runes, something you might study post-Hogwarts.
Unsurprisingly, both jumped at the chance.
The temperature was slipping into October by now. Hermione had gotten used to Theo being near her again, and the dreams and naughty thoughts that came along with it.
But she loved Ron, oh she did. She also realized that her little crush on Nott...it had never really vanished.
Usually Hermione could shut out her thoughts and hyper-focus. Today, with the noise of whatever the class was learning outside, mixed with the scent that Theo wore (she hadn't unmuddled the smells in her mind, but Merlin was it doing things to her), made it completely impossible to do anything.
"You okay?"
Hermione nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned to see Theo examining her closely, catching her eyes as he lifted an eyebrow.
"You seem off today," Theo noticed, "Because I just saw you mark that students work as 'correct', even though it's obviously wrong. It should be an Ehwaz." He said.
Hermione looked down at her work. Fucking hell, he was right.
"Are you watching me, Theo?"
She wasn't sure where that voice came from. That sweet, giggling, saccharine tone that made Theo's face flush. Hermione did not flirt. She was far too pragmatic for that. She didn't giggle around Ron, at least never in public. This voice, the one that she heard Lavender or Pansy use often, was foreign to her.
What was she thinking?
Oh yes, she wasn't.
"It's hard to ignore Hermione Granger zoning out." He waved a hand, "Since I think I've only ever seen you on one setting; working."
"I just," she bit her lip, "I'm thinking about the meeting with McGonagall today." She lied quickly, "It's been nice not to have to worry about the future. Just go back to school and all. But soon we have to decide." She inhaled. Now that she was talking about it, she realized she truly was worried.
"The doors will open itself up to Hermione Granger. I'm not sure why you're concerned," Theo said, looking at her like she was mad. It was clear that neither were going to return to grading anytime soon. She set down her items.
"That's the issue!" She tried to explain, "Is that everyone expects me to do something great. I'm Hermione Granger, one third of the Wizarding World saviors. More than that, I'm the 'intelligent one'. I feel as though if I don't pick something worthy enough, the public-,"
"Excuse my French for a second, but fuck them," Theo snapped irritatedly, face darkening.
"I-what?"
"Seriously, fuck the entire world. You don't owe them shit, Hermione. You saved everyone's asses. If you want to spend the rest of your days breeding field mice or painting bad representations of dogs playing poker, then who is anyone to tell you not to?"
Despite the severity of his voice, Hermione couldn't help but break out with a smile.
"Well, I don't want to do either of those things."
Theo grinned back, almost going to pat her shoulder, but dropped his hand awkwardly to his lap, "Well, see. We're already getting somewhere." There was a pause, "What do you want to do Hermione?"
No one, sans McGonagall, had actually asked her that yet. Maybe Ron and Harry and Ginny all thought she knew, or maybe they didn't care. Maybe they'd all decided, like most people had, what they thought she should be doing.
"I…" She trailed off, "I honestly don't know."
It was the first time she'd said that outloud. Hermione Granger, the girl with a plan, for once felt lost. From her fourth-year on, her entirety of her being had been focused on helping Harry stay alive, defeating Voldemort. She'd never given thought to what could come after, it there would be that.
Plus, the girl that started the war no longer existed. Hermione was very different now.
Theo only looked at her with sympathy. No pity, just a soft look. Something too soft for him, so unlike his usually reserved exterior.
"Well, what about you? Maybe if I hear what you're doing, it will jump start my own thoughts," She asked, repaying the favor. She doubted many people were inquiring about Theo's plans either, "When's your meeting with McGonagall?"
Theo just shook his head.
"It's...already happened?"
"I'm not meeting with her," He said quietly.
"Oh! Slughorn?" She had been under the impression that McGonagall, as the headmistress, was meeting with all the 7th and 8th year students, not just Gryffindors. Perhaps that thought had been in error?
"Nobody," Theo said sharply, "I'm not...no one."
"But-,"
"No one cares," Theo bit out savagely, "What a former Death Eater wants to do after he graduates. The world would probably be happier if I just rolled over dead."
His anger seemed to roll off his shoulders. She could feel the darkness that rose from him, like a dark heat, as menacing as Fiendfyre. There was pain behind it though too, hidden. Self-loathing. Fear. Hurt.
"Fuck. Them."
Theo started so much he nearly fell off the couch. Despite the fact that in Hermione's head she swore quite a bit, she tried to be a good influence on the younger students, and therefore avoided such language. This was probably the first time he- or anyone besides Ginny- had ever heard her swear out loud.
"You don't owe the world a damn thing either," She reminded, "If you want me to believe it, you have to believe that yourself."
"It's different."
"It's not. We're children, Theo," Hermione enunciated, "We fought in a war that was hardly ours. We inherited it, whether we wanted to or not. You wouldn't be here if nearly fifty people didn't find you innocent." She said firmly.
"What did I do to get the Great Hermione Granger's trust in me?" He asked, giving a rickety, hollow laugh.
I started to fall in love with you…
She looked away, "You proved yourself. I know it. You're not a bad person. So, what do you want to do?"
Theo knit his eyebrows together. There was a moment in which she was sure he wasn't going to answer. He looked very deep in thought. Finally, tentatively, he spoke.
"I want to change the world."
His voice was a hair above a whisper. It felt like he was bequeathing upon her a great secret to the universe. Perhaps just a secret about himself.
"I want to do good. I want to be good. I want to do something to leave a better memory upon the world. I…" He seemed to be unable to stop himself now that he'd broken the seal upon his wish, "I need to. Not because of my stigma, but because I actually have always wanted to. I know I'm good at a lot, but I'm mint at Potions. I hear in Paris, there's this group that's trying to make potions to reverse the effects of the Cruciatus. Or in Brazil, there's a hub of witches and wizards that are studying curse removals. Or in Australia, there's a wizard who thinks if we study some of the fish there, we can make potions to cure Cancer. I want to be a part of something bigger."
"I haven't heard of any of those!" Hermione said, instantly intrigued.
"Hogwarts shows you just such a small slice of magic. It's all very topiary, you do realize," Theo said, "But there are people out there that have handed down magic you wouldn't believe, or discovering brand new types." He said, his eyes alighting, "There's even discussions about sending wizards to the moon, to the galaxy! Who knows what's out there for us?"
"I hadn't ever…" Hermione breathed out, "That's incredible. Do you think we could?"
"One wizard theorizes that the air near Jupiter could have revitalizing powers for lots of things, due to the dust and the particles and all."
"But, wouldn't you die?" Hermione asked, frowning. There was a pause, "Right," she added, cheeks flushing, "I suppose, firstly magic physiology is different than humans, and as wizards we'd be able to make some sort of magic barrier to...ah," She winced, "That was a stupid question."
And she would, recall that stupid question for the rest of her life. She surely hoped that Theo didn't find her unintelligent.
Theo didn't mock her, just shrugged, "We'd find a way."
"I think I want that too," Hermione said after a second, "To continue doing good. Whatever that may be." She nudged him. The touch of her shoulder to his sent shivers up her spine, "You helped me a lot."
"You're just saying that." Theo laughed, "But it's okay. It feels nice to be needed, if only in pretend."
"You need to work on your self-confidence, Theodore Nott," Hermione said with a raised eyebrow.
"Right. Yeah. I have so much to be confident about,``he snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned back on the couch, carding his fingers through his hair.
"I think you're pretty great." The words slipped from her lips before she could think them fully, stop herself. Theo looked up, surprised, fingers paused half-way on the back of his head.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Hermione said, her neck flushing a dark shade and her forehead sweating a bit. No use denying it now.
Theo looked down, exhaling once as though something was amusing. If only he truly knew how good he looked right now. How ridiculously sexy he looked, even just relaxing on the chair. Hermione's heart thudded fast and she prayed to any god out there to help her with this ridiculous crush of hers. Theo looked up. She hoped that he couldn't see how much wanted him in her eyes.
"You know?" He said, leaning forward and clasping his hands together, "Somehow, that does sorta make me feel better."
While he could be lying for her little Gryffindor bleeding heart, Hermione- for the rest of her life- would choose to believe that on that day, she helped him a little.
Ahh, how cute! So, just a few notes...
1) So, yes, we skipped the entire war. A lot of times with war, you get a very...dark story, which isn't where I want this to go. So, I gave you an abridged version of what happened. If you need to know something I'll let you know, but otherwise assume it's not important. Besides, there's a Theomione story that I have that DOES deal with the war. A lot of it. That brings us to
2) I have posted a new Theo/Hermione story that I'm writing in tandem with this (Ahh, just can't get enough of Theo/Hermione, I suppose) called 'While Tyr Slept'. It is much darker and is a time-travel story that will cover a lot of ideas like morality, gray magic, magic theory, and war from behind the scenes. I'm like 6 chapters in! Go check it out and maybe leave a review!
3) Lastly, this has nothing to do with the story, but is a personal query. I just got a new computer for my bday, but NONE of my itunes library carried over. Most of the songs on my itunes library is stuff I downloaded from youtube or other sites, ie not purchased via Itunes. I've spent a lot of time curating this library and adding in all the info for the songs, is there a way to transfer that data? I have 8000 songs and I would literally CRY if I lost all of that. If you're computer savvy, hit me up because I am high key STRESSED.
Have a great weekend and consider dropping a review!
