Chapter 3: Promotion

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Some things are more important than memory…the way it feels to look into your eyes, the feel of your breath on my skin, the hope that floods my heart when we are one. But you will not look into my eyes. I am the one you fear. And you only fear me, because what is between us is a truth we cannot escape.

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Ginrei led Byakuya past the still-celebrating guests and into the small training room that had been his until this moment. He looked back at his fully grown grandson and smiled at the lovely sight of him, his hair delicately placed in the confines of the kenseiken, the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu that had been his gift wound just so around the pale, seemly throat and the new haori draped over his shoulders. His dark, gray eyes were focused and serious as he lowered himself to his knees and bowed his head.

"Grandfather…" he said, quietly.

Ginrei knew that Byakuya was not looking forward to this farewell. As ready as he was for leadership, there were still rough edges to the young man that would have to be worn away with time and experience. And leading both Squad Six and the Kuchiki Clan would accomplish that soon enough.

"Byakuya…your promotion ceremony today brought our family great pride. You are the image of what a young, noble lord should be. You have grown out of your disobedience and have settled into the responsibilities your father would have taken on, had he survived. You take these things on at quite a youthful age and we must say our goodbyes now, though I know you do not feel ready. But a position in the Royal Guard awaits me and I look forward to serving our king."

"You make our family proud as well, Grandfather. As much as I shall miss you, I will know you continue to honor king and family with your service. I am content."

"Good," said Ginrei, yielding him a rare smile, "Then I shall take my leave of you with a calm and peaceful heart."

Their eyes met warmly for a moment and Byakuya smiled and nodded.

"I must, however leave you with a final warning. Maintain vigilance always. There will be disturbers of the peace, the ones who break the rules and cause dissent. They would seek to ensnare other powerful ones like yourself to drag along with them. Remember that, as a noble clan, we serve our king within his laws and dictates…and we guide ourselves in our piety through the rules and mores of our clan. Follow the rules and laws closely and you will not lose your way."

"Hai, Grandfather."

"And one more thing," Ginrei went on, his expression darkening, "be wary of Aizen Sousuke."

"The fifth division taicho?"

"Hai. He appears quiet and peaceful on the outside, but I have long sensed something beneath it that does not sit well with me. You cannot avoid interaction, now that you lead the sixth division, but you can certainly confine your interactions to those necessary for your military association."

"But you invited him here tonight."

"I invited all of the taichos. It would have been a direct insult to have left him out. Simply put, by our standards, I was compelled to include him, rather than to insult him publicly. And I will caution you as well to avoid interaction with him, but to also avoid direct insult. He is much like a curled snake, Byakuya. Best to leave him alone and work your way around him carefully."

Byakuya nodded.

"I hear the wisdom in your message and I will see that it is done as you wish," he answered calmly.

"Then it is time for me to go, Byakuya. Farewell…and keep to your promises. I look forward to the day when you shall join me in the spirit dimension and we shall fight side-by-side once more."

"Goodbye, Grandfather," Byakuya breathed as the old man disappeared through the shining doorway.

He watched as the light faded, then rose and studied the place where the door had been. He thought that, perhaps, he should return to the party, but suddenly didn't feel inclined for company. He turned instead, and walked slowly through the gardens, then out the open gate and along the moonlit forest path. It was a way he had gone many times before, grown old, familiar and trusted. He paid his footsteps little mind as he headed for the sakura trees above the waterfall.

He reached them several long minutes later and stood quietly beneath the widespread branches, his eyes fixed on the large, blue tinted moon that filled the sky overhead. He sank into its peaceful light, making himself content with the newfound silence around him, telling himself that he would grow used to the space in his heart where Ginrei used to be…would gradually fill the silence with other voices…perhaps, the girl's voice would console him in his loneliness.

But then…he hardly dared to look at Rukia.

Looking at her brought back the too-recent pain of losing Hisana, the shiver of being on the receiving end of the clan's disapproval, the end of his disobedience, with the arrival and adoption of Rukia. No, he dared not approach too closely, and would see her placed in a squad and sent to train. Having her so close was too much. He chose, instead to bear his solitude quietly.

"Byakuya," said a soft voice, startling him out of his reverie.

He turned and locked eyes with the man his grandfather had warned him about.

"Aizen Sousuke," he said calmly, "Have you become lost?"

Byakuya looked into the other's smiling expression and he felt something flash in his mind.

"He hardly lets you out of his sight, right?"

Byakuya flinched.

"No," said Aizen, still smiling at him, "I haven't become lost. I saw you leave with Ginrei and then leave the gardens alone. I thought to have your company for a while."

"You admitted to me that you long for freedom, Byakuya," Aizen said softly, "I was thinking that while we are here, we might take a bit of that freedom…and enjoy it together."

Byakuya inhaled sharply and Aizen looked up at him questioningly.

"Byakuya, are you all right?" he asked, sounding concerned.

He furrowed his brow, trying to figure out where it was that he had heard Aizen speak to him that way. He didn't remember…he couldn't remember when it had ever happened. It had the feel of a dream…or perhaps a nightmare.

"Byakuya, if this is about that time in the living world…that night we were together, I did say that I was sorry for letting it happen."

The noble's face paled as the memory swelled and sharpened in his mind. He could feel Aizen's face close to his…his hands on bared skin…tongue thrusting deeply inside his mouth…fingers touching him where no one else had ever dared.

And he hadn't remembered.

Something had stolen his memory.

Something…or someone…

"You…" he whispered, his face going even more pale.

"Yes," Aizen admitted.

Byakuya realized suddenly that Aizen had stepped forward and he tried to step back, only to encounter the tree behind him. The fifth division taicho's hand caught his face and came closer.

"You're blushing," he said, leaning forward, "You are a beautiful young man, Byakuya."

His mouth closed over the stunned noble's and Byakuya felt his legs weaken beneath him. He knew he should move, should push him away. He should do something besides stand frozen. He had never frozen on the battlefield, no matter how frightening the enemy. So why, he wondered, could he not make his limbs move? Why did his heart beat so hard that he thought it would explode? Why did it feel so good for this man's mouth to so deeply explore his? Why were his own arms betraying him and wrapping around the other? Why was he kissing him back?

Shock flooded his body and he flash stepped free. He reappeared at the edge of the cliff, beside the waterfall. Aizen watched him curiously and waited for him to say something. Byakuya remembered that he had been warned about this man. Aizen Sousuke was dangerous and must be avoided. And given what he remembered…how the man had taken him to the hotel in the living world to deprive him of his innocence, he found his anger boiling up inside.

I thought it was something meaningful…that when he said that I should put my heart in a safe place, that he was offering one. He wasn't supposed to be the one to do the very damage that he warned me to expect from others. I failed to consider that he might be using me!

I must admit that I did, in fact, enjoy the intimate beauty of being held tightly and kissed so deeply. And though it made me blush then…and it still makes me blush to remember, I did enjoy the taste of that man's flesh. I liked the feel of taking him in my mouth…as he said, a sign of our trust. I thought that his face was beautifully lit with emotion at being pleasured by my mouth…and I hardly minded the sudden, hot flow of thick fluid I didn't know how to swallow properly. In fact, everything up to my taking was perfect.

But then...that strange look on his face. I'm not sure what caused it, but now, remembering that look, oh...oh gods, I remember more!"

He remembered the pain that had shot through his heart when the man turned him and took him from behind.

When one is beloved, his lover would only take him, looking deeply into his eyes.

The pain had been so sudden and staggering that he couldn't stop the cry that escaped him. Aizen hadn't even hesitated. Being so into taking him, the bastard had just kept on…as if not hearing…as if not caring.

And now that he remembered, the pain was returning.

"Leave me alone," he gasped, trying to flash step past.

A hand caught his arm and a moment later, the two were tumbling to the ground together. It didn't hurt to fall, but he was left breathless for a moment, and then Aizen's mouth found his and his head spun. He pushed against the other's chest forcefully, but couldn't budge him. Aizen seemed unnaturally strong. A hand found his wrists and locked them in a strong, binding kido above his head. Then Aizen's hands roamed everywhere, loosening his clothes and slipping beneath them, touching him…finding his swelling arousal and noting its silent betrayal, then rewarding it for its disobedience with slow, languid strokes. He arched his body and tried to twist free, but moving so only brought him into more intimate contact with the body above his. He shook with rage as the hand around him stroked him harder and faster and he lost the breath and the will to resist.

It was then that he remembered the Seirei-Jomae…the spirit lock that his grandfather had been so angry to find between them. And he remembered the warning. If he opened his heart to Aizen and Aizen did the same, they would conceive his heir.

He was instantly shocked back into resistance. He threw his weight against the kido holding his hands and shattered it. His face darkened with fury, he tore himself free and rolled to his feet. He stood with his chest heaving, his heart racing wildly and his hardened member still aching for completion. Aizen climbed to his feet and stood opposite the noble, observing him carefully.

"How dare you touch me…you…you…"

He stopped, his breath catching.

"You…peasant! Get out of here!"

He didn't wait to see if Aizen obeyed the order, but turned back and flash stepped all of the way back to the manor. He stopped at the gate, realizing suddenly that his clothing was in disarray and he was obviously very aroused. He stood in the cold darkness, setting himself back in order and realizing suddenly that his ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu was gone. He swallowed hard, looking back the way he had come, but didn't dare go back for it. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a flash step sounded beside him and the soft material dropped suddenly around his shoulders.

"You forgot something," Aizen said softly in his ear.

Byakuya grabbed the scarf and wound it into place, then took a breath and turned back to Aizen.

"You were invited to my home as a guest, but you have acted dishonorably. I want you to leave, Aizen Sousuke. Leave and don't come back!"

The older shinigami's eyes darkened.

"So, you truly do hate me for what happened. Or maybe it isn't even that. Maybe it's as you said, I'm a peasant. I shouldn't dare to touch such a pristine, angelic body like yours. I might dirty it."

"Just…go, Aizen Sousuke," Byakuya said, hating the desperation in his tone.

He breathed a sigh of relief as the elder shinigami merely nodded and turned away. He stopped just inside the gate and looked back at Byakuya with malevolence that sent chills through him.

"You seem to think like the rest of them now. Back then, I thought you were different. That's why I wanted you. But it was a deception. You are just like the rest of them. And someday, you will pay for that."

He turned and disappeared, leaving Byakuya shaken and alone. He gathered himself and returned to the party, where he joined the staff and wished his guests a good night. And after the last was gone, he returned to his room…the room that had been Ginrei's before his departure.

He waited in the dressing area as his servant undressed him, then wrapped a towel around his waist and stepped into the bathroom.

"You are dismissed," he said to his attendant, then watched as the youth bowed and left, and locked the door behind him.

He stood under the hot rush of water, his mind spinning helplessly and his body still rebelling against him. He couldn't rid himself of the feel of Aizen's mouth on his, the feel of those hands slipping beneath his clothes and stroking him so skillfully. And now that he remembered their lovemaking, he couldn't stop feeling the mouth that had wrapped around his length…that had moved slowly up and down, or the fingers that gently prepared him…or the feeling of being filled.

He wanted badly to hate the man. And he did feel anger, because he had done those things falsely…with no intent that it should mean anything. But it did mean something. He knew it must. That Aizen had tried again to make love to him out by the waterfall, beneath the stars and that beautiful moon. It had to mean something. That it might not, hurt him with unexpected ferocity. But in the absence of the one who had caused the pain, he couldn't connect with the anger. He could only feel the hurt.

The hurt burst out of him in a choked sob. It ran down his face in streams as he held himself silent and let the tears fall. He hadn't known another person could cause him this kind of pain. It seemed that it hurt worse even than the pain he had felt so recently when Hisana died. But he and Hisana had shared mutual love. And though her illness had prevented them from having children, they had made each other happy. Now, he was without that happiness and saddled with a longing for a man who he sensed could very well destroy him. He knew in his mind that he could not afford to let himself fall for Aizen Sousuke, but his body and his heart ached fiercely with rebellion. His heart raced furiously beneath his breast and heat seethed beneath his skin as he stood wanting desperately to be touched…to be held and kissed…by the very man he dared not love.

"Sousuke," he said in a trembling whisper.

His member throbbed with just the name.

His hand slid down his body, as though of its own accord and wrapped around his length, stroking up and down as Aizen's hand had only a short time before. He could almost feel that mouth on his, that hot, demanding tongue, thrusting into his mouth and exploring every inch inside. He gasped at how good it felt to remember…to imagine…to touch himself that way. He could almost imagine that the man was in the shower with him, pleasuring him in that gentle, but powerful way he had before.

He caught his breath as hot seed pulsed out of him and released it in a sound between pleasure and pain. He both loved and hated the way it felt…both longed for and reviled the one whose face and voice haunted him as pleasure took him. Overwhelmed, he slid slowly down the wall and sat, curled, letting the water rain down to hide the tears and soft cries…and promising himself that it was the last time he would ever allow himself to fall in love.