Hey! Guess who's back, back with vomit on my sweater already. How you doing? So! I have a surprise for y'all today. In honor of both my first favorite, and my first follow, you're getting a two chapter update! This does mean that I've almost caught up with myself, but chapter six will probably be posted after I finish writing chapter seven. Enjoy!
Calen had been walking about most of the night. Occasionally, he'd stop inside a bar and stay long enough for a drink or two; but never long enough to let it loosen his lips, choosing instead to continue his meandering crawl, wandering slowly but surely in the direction of Eula's home. Part of him never wanted to see her again, but a larger part wanted... Something he couldn't place quite yet. It ranged anywhere from answers, to everything he'd ever given her, to just her. The larger part of him just seemed to want the relationship back, even if it was to her greater detriment.
The sky was light with dawn by the time he'd made it to the pool, and he let loose a grumbling whine as he tried the locked handle. With a huff, Calen dug into his pockets, searched for a minute or two, then pulled out a bit of scrap metal. One edge was a crude, jagged series of cuts that he'd tried to memorize from Eula's own housekey and would—probably—be sufficient enough to get the door open. He grinned as he slid his unauthorized spare key into the lock, already fantasizing about heading upstairs and cuddling with Eula as he turned it and...
It bit. He knew it, he could feel it, and already he was beginning to wonder if she'd changed the locks. He pulled the key out and tried again, the pins still biting into his imperfect copy. A huff, a curse, a momentary tantrum of banging his fists against the wall, and he returned to the lock. Brow furrowed, he resigned himself to one last try, figuring afterwards it might be worth it to simply break the damn thing. One more deep breath and he pushed the key in again, turning it as hard as he could. He fully expected to need to beat down the door, but, fortunately enough for him, the lock gave and the door swung inward. He stumbled through, closing it behind, and even attempting to lock it again.
"I wish I brought my fuckin welder..." He paused and belched. "She'd have to talk if the door wouldn't open, right?"
Calen cackled at himself and made his way towards the stairs. He crawled up them, smiling as his drunken overconfidence convinced him that Eula would be ecstatic at his arrival. He gripped at the doorframe as he reached the top step, steadying himself before turning his gaze towards the rest of her deserted bedroom. It took him a second or two to process the fact that her bed was empty, but the realization brought no panic about her whereabouts, only seething anger.
"Whore!" He slammed his fist against the doorframe, it cracking. "Already out giving into your lesser instincts! You slut! Just leave me and let some random chimp pump and dump you behind some fucking dumpster! See if I care when he inevitably stabs you and leaves you to DIE THERE!"
Calen screamed in frustration and tossed a spare shoe across the room with a tentacle. He stormed over to the bed, his fingers twitching as he debated between destroying the linens or just laying down. He picked up one of the pillows as he sat, burying his face in it to scream some more and repress his urge to break things. While his assumption was completely incorrect, he whined and huffed and moaned about how she could humiliate him like this. He tossed himself onto his side and hugged the pillow against his torso.
"It's not fair!" He thought as he contemplated the whole of their relationship. "I never even had a real chance! It's not like I could actually give her what she wanted! I was doomed from the start! It's bullshit!"
The more Calen wallowed in just how unfair it all was, the more he began to toy with the idea of getting back at Eula. After all, it was her fault, wasn't it? If she'd just been a good girl and stayed by his side then he wouldn't have had to... He sat up. What on earth could he possibly do to get back at her? He looked first at the bedding around him again, but a better, crueler thought began to take form.
"Why not sic MIB on her? She was the one stupid enough to leave the house! I should just do the right thing and let them know." He beamed as he pulled a flip phone from a pocket currently concealed by his disguise and called B. His smile only grew as B picked up on the second ring.
"Something you need, Calen," he asked, the light tapping of computer keys just audible behind him.
"Yeah... Do you know where Eula is?"
"I can confirm her whereabouts."
"Wh—" Calen paused, yawning. "Where?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Tell me where she fuckin' is, B! I don't have the time for whatever bullshit your saying."
"Why exactly would you need to know where E is? If I recall correctly, she broke up with you less than twenty-four hours ago."
"Because she's not fucking here! I came over to her place to talk things out, and she isn't here! Can you please just tell me what club she's busy getting fucked at so I can go save her from hers—"
"Hold on, hold on just half a second. You're at her house?"
"Yeah! Any—"
"And she's not there with you."
"You know, I'm not fond of repeating myself a million fucking times. Yes, Eula's not here. Now, where the fuck is she? You have access to her tracker! It can't be that hard to look it up!" Calen stopped to wait for B's response but the only thing he could hear was the same rhythmic clicking of the keyboard. He called out a couple more times, but it seemed as though the human was focused solely on the task in front of him. Calen could only sit there and be annoyed for the minute or two it took for B to start talking again.
"Calen? Calen! Pick up!"
"Would you mind telling me where my girlfriend is now?"
"Are you one-hundred percent sure Eula isn't anywhere at the pool?" B asked, the alien just now recognizing the quiver of fear in the other man's voice.
"Y-Yes! Absolutely! I just haven't—" Calen interrupted himself with a growl as he leapt off the bed and tore down the stairs. The phone was still in his hand as he rushed through the vacant pool and bathroom, his search culminating in the kitchen. He was standing in front of the fridge, one hand on the door, the other holding the phone to his ear. "Bathroom and pool are clear. You're certain the reading is here?"
"It is! Just keep looking! One of them is bound to turn up."
"I don't know," Calen said as he checked the inside of the refrigerator anyway. He turned away as he let it close, taking note of the fact that the oven was on. Curious, he of course popped it open. At first, he only saw the water, but that only spurred him further... Until his eyes found the chunk of viscera and metal that Eula had left behind.
"B," Calen said, unable to take his eyes off it. "What did you say the temperature reading currently was?"
"A hundred."
"Yeah." He plucked the tracker out of the water, rolling it between his fingers. There was a small, beeping alarm from B's side of the line, the man himself letting out a panicked whimper. "How about now?"
"My life is fucking over."
"You don't think she was stupid enough to leave Earth, do you?"
"Where else is she gonna hide‽" B groaned and Calen rolled his eyes.
"I'll meet you at headquarters. With any luck, we can stop them before they actually get her off the planet."
"Why would we need y—" Calen ended the call, choosing to ignore B's question, and began a far more direct trek back to MIB, the tracker clenched in his fist. And as he walked, his mind began to spin quite a fairy tale behind his ex's disappearance. He wanted to believe she wouldn't leave the planet of her own free will, but he absolutely knew better than that. Besides, even if the intention of her captors was to drag her into space, he didn't genuinely believe that she'd put up any sort of fight.
"Unless she knew they were scummy. She's smart. She'd realize who she was dealing with," he thought, glancing down at his fist. His mind wandered to a scene of his poor, sweet Eula being threatened—likely held at gunpoint—forced to remove the tracker herself.
"And who knows what the fuck else. My poor, little idiot. She's trapped out there with an army of bugs, or a band of weapons smugglers, or worse, slave traders. They're doing something unspeakable to her, I know it! I can feel it!" He held the tracker to his chest, pausing a moment to look skyward and bathe in his own melodrama. "Don't worry, my love. I'm going to bring you home!"
Renewed in his convictions, however delusional they may be, Calen began the slog through New York once more, arriving at MIB just behind B—who tried very hard to shoo him away from O's office. Despite his protesting, Calen still walked in behind him, O raising her eyebrow at the pair from behind the larger of the now two desks in the room.
"What's he doing here?" She asked, looking over at B.
"I have no idea," Calen said as he sat himself down in one of the chairs in front of her desk, "But he's the head of security so it might be hard getting any of the others to stage a mutiny. And I have the tracker."
"Wonderful. If you want to be of any use to this investigation, hand it to B and leave."
"Okay, but I'll be heading back to my auxiliary ship, taking it back to the Black Shear, and heading out in search of my girlfriend."
"He's 'round the bend, B. We might have to shoot him."
"Like it or not, O, I'm going to find her."
"Like hell you are. We can't afford to have you muck this up with your relationship drama. We don't have time for it."
"I'm gonna do it whether you want me to or not."
"Don't test me right now. There's already a 'rip it to shreds' order in place up there; I can make it a 'no one in or out' order in the press of a few buttons."
"And you've forgotten that as a foreign government official, I am exempt from such policies. T—"
"That is in place for emergencies on your home planet and that's it! You are not going to fuck this!"
"And maybe there's just a sudden big damn emergency? You know the connections I have on Kirota and you know I love a game of diplomatic chicken. Recognize that I'm at least willing to work on your terms."
"I—Ooh, you are not on my good side, but, since I have no say in the matter beyond terms, fine. I want reports on the state of the mission, your method of approach, and—everything. Just report back to me on everything pertaining to E or your mission of bringing her home. Failure to do so will result in me murdering you and turning your body into a calamari buffet. Am I understood?"
"Yes. May I go now?"
"Absolutely. Get out of my sight! But first..." O glanced to B, who held his hand out to the alien. "The tracker."
Calen said nothing more but did sneer at B in passing as he handed over the tracker and immediately left. J walked by him on his way out, the grin he wore as alarming to her as Eula not being at her desk. B had told her yesterday that she was coming back in, but... She stepped into the office, B now occupying the smaller desk, and O back at the computer on hers, though she did look up as the clerk entered the room.
"J. Please, come sit," O said, gesturing to the chairs in front of her. Cautiously, J perched herself on the edge of the seat closest to the door, B sitting down in the other. "I'm sure you already have questions. Save them. What I am about to tell you does not leave this room under any circumstances, and I mean it. For once, this is a matter that actually requires the utmost secrecy, especially from your other agents. Am I clear?"
"Crystal. I won't even tell E," J replied, B snorting at her answer.
"Trust me, J. She's aware of the situation."
"She got away, didn't she?"
"Yes. She's managed to escape. We're not sure with who. We don't even know if they're still on the planet. As of now, our investigation comprises of interrogating anyone she's been seen with in the past month. As the last person to see her, we figured you might be the best place to start."
"She told me that she was upset about her breakup with Calen last night. That's why I went over. I—"
"We know, J. E's house is wired."
"Then it should be obvious that I had no idea this was going to happen. Last night, E asked me to come over because she was sad about the end of a relationship—speaking of: where's he headed? He looked insanely happy for a man who got dumped yesterday."
"That's not important," O said, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"I'd argue it is important that you have a violent manchild running about, possibly attempting to kidnap or harm the singular person who you want to be on really good terms with, lest the universe learn of the atrocities MIB has been hiding."
"Please don't remind me. I know well enough that his being involved wasn't a good idea, but I'd rather not start a diplomatic crisis or—god help me—a literal war by trying to stop him."
"And do you really think she'll come back with him?"
"No, but that's why I intend to send a secondary party and feed Calen as little information as possible."
"Bold strategy. Hope he doesn't know or find out. God knows what he'd do if he did."
"J, please, I spend enough time with that man to know how he'll react to a lot of things and—"
"Funny then that you let him anywhere near E."
"What do you want from me? I couldn't have stopped him then without causing a diplomatic incident, I can't stop him now for the same reason. What else am I supposed to do?"
"Oh yeah, you—the woman in control of the most powerful organization in the solar system—totally couldn't have stopped a spoiled councilman who comes to Earth pretty much exclusively to commit illegalities. Arrest him!" J sighed and rubbed at her temples. "Are there any actual questions you have for me? Or can I get back to my paperwork now?"
"Do you know of anyone else she spoke to yesterday?"
"An agent from Tech. Newer, not sure on his name. He said he needed to run diagnostic tests on E's tracker around lunch, and I didn't see her again until I went to her house."
"Was he specific about the kind of test," B finally asked. It was a question very much directed at J, but the way he was slumped forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands told both women that it wasn't a good thing.
"No. Not while I was there at least. He just said it was essentials you needed for later."
"Did he act strange at all?"
"I honestly wouldn't know, B! I'd never spoken to him before that very day! But these questions seem to be leading you somewhere, so would you mind filling us in on your theory?"
"The Arquilian's most skilled exosuit producer was in this building yesterday." He looked up at O, knitting his eyebrows together. "Did you ever once see him get out of it?"
"Not that morning," O said, "But I follow. You think the tech agent was Othniel in a different suit?"
"Correct. I didn't send anyone from tech to run diagnostics. I already had those. I was supposed to fix the actual problem with it yesterday, but E said she felt sick after lunch and I didn't really think much of it."
"What was the problem with it?"
"The GPS was being slow to update her position. It's a common enough issue that I have a process and it's performed routinely."
"Do you have this documented anywhere?"
"The local files of my own machine, stored alongside diagnostic materials. The information on the tracker is consolidated but getting to it... It would require somehow bypassing multiple levels of constantly updating, state-of-the-art encryption, or fooling five different biometric security measures, one of which is a temperature-monitored blood test. If that was Othniel, then I have no idea how he managed to either be on the planet and break into MIB without us noticing or hack through our firewall."
"You know what's cheaper and easier than both of those," J asked, "A camera. A keylogger. A bribe? He is nobility, and from what I've seen, his work is not cheap. After that fiasco with High T and the Hive, we should all be a little more open to the idea that not every agent is so devoted to this job that they wouldn't take something as simple as a bribe."
"But who? There are a very limited number of people who would have unsupervised access to my office, and I would trust every one of them with my life!"
"Then you'd better start grilling them. What other way is there for Othniel to have known?"
"Perhaps he got the information through a close friend of the escapee?"
"And perhaps Calen hired him to kidnap her and make it look like an escape. We don't know. All we know is that it might've been Othniel. Unless we're dealing with an agent gone rogue."
"What?"
"Could've not been a suit at all. Maybe there was an affair and they ran away together. Or another violent narcissist flew in under the radar and he killed her."
"We'd know if she was dead! The Valskoul would've dissipated, there would've been a report of it. We would absolutely, one-hundred percent, know if she was dead!"
"Are you talking to me or convincing yourself?" J looked back over at O and stood. "Do you have any further questions of merit?"
"You're dismissed," O said, "If you see the agent E spoke to on the way back to your desk, save us the trip down there and send him in."
J gave her a tight smile and a non-committal hum, O choosing to lean on her arm as the clerk left. She looked up at B and he stared back at her, face twisted with worry. She almost comforted him, but there was too much to be done to not compartmentalize and get it over with. B fairly quickly understood this and took his spot behind the second desk, sending a message off to the head of the tech department.
S had been a relatively new addition to MIB. Only an official member for a few months now, this after his year-long probationary period. He'd only just become S so recently, and as his supervisor led him into an interrogation chamber, he had to wonder why he'd bothered to put it all at risk for a few bowls.
She sat him in front of a computer, it looping through all the footage of someone who definitely looked a lot like him talking to a clerk he didn't recognize. He glanced up at V, an eyebrow raised.
"When was this taken? And who is she," he asked.
"Yesterday, and she's E. What do you remember about your conversation with her?"
"I don't. I wasn't here yesterday, V. I was at home smoking all day."
"So that's your clone?"
"I—Look, I don't know what to tell you, but that's not me! I wasn't here! Fu—" S rubbed at his temples but produced a phone from his pocket, unlocking it before he handed it to V. "I have proof. Go through my pictures. One of the recent ones should be a video of me hitting a bong, timestamped for about eleven-twenty AM. I sent it to a work friend sometime around two PM yesterday. I don't know who that is V, but it sure as hell wasn't me."
V took the phone, finding both the video and the message; but only nodded at them, standing next to the door in silence. S watched her for some sort of reaction, but realizing he wasn't going to get one, he turned his attention back to the video. The more he stared the more he started to wonder if he'd maybe actually shown up to work; if the man on the recording was somehow him and he just didn't remember. But it was a flash in the pan sort of thought, easily disproved and discarded by his own hazed recollection. He was about to speak again when the head of security entered the room.
"S. Has V already told you what this is about," B asked as he took a seat in front of S.
"Yes, and I didn't do it. I'm honestly not entirely sure what it is, but I literally wasn't in this building to do it yesterday."
"We have video and fingerprint evidence that tells the story very differently."
"And I have video evidence that directly contradicts yours. Show him, V." She handed the phone to B, who thanked her and set it down in front of him. "Just look. The timestamps don't line up perfectly, but I took my video at twenty past eleven, and this one was taken literally fifteen minutes later! I live way too far from headquarters to have made that, and I would've been baked out of my mind if I'd tried! You gotta believe me, man."
"I don't have to, but it would be counterproductive. I believe you, S, I just need to know what else has happened. Literally, even the smallest detail you haven't already told us could be the thing we need to save your fellow operative."
"Is she in danger?"
"Grave. Which is why we need to know what you know. It's not you on the surveillance footage, alright, but you still didn't come in for some reason. Why?"
"I—I..." S smoothed his hair back and stared at the table in front of him. "I met a Junian at a bar, her name was Jiki. She told me she knew a place to get some good shit. Takes me to that silent nightclub at some docks on Staten, talks to an alien in a robe with darker tentacles poking out from underneath. She gets handed a bag, we go back to my place, sprinkle the magical alien fairy dust on my weed, and get high as fuck. That's all I remember from that day."
"Are you sure there's nothing you're forgetting? It doesn't have to be about yesterday specifically, if there's anything strange you remember in the days leading up that could be helpful, I encourage you to speak up." S leaned back in his chair as his superior spoke, studying the light in the room as he wracked his anguished mind for anything that might point them in the right direction or even just a believable lie.
"The noise! Oh shit, wait, that might be something! Okay, so, V! V, do you remember about a month ago, when you caught me chatting in the breakroom with F about something keeping me up at night? The humming sound?" V stepped forward from the darkness, sitting down next to B.
"I can corroborate that story," she said, motioning for her subordinate to continue.
"There was more to it than just the humming. Near the end, I had a dream but also kind of not. I was between sleep and being awake, but I heard this... scanning sort of noise. You know when a copier gets stuck and keeps scanning over and over, it sounded like that! And near the end of it, a light passed over my eyes. I didn't think much of it, my neighbor across the alley is a dickhead with bright lights, but could that be something?"
"A light and a noise like a scanner?" B knew this was a lie, exosuit coverings didn't work like that, but it didn't really matter. He already knew what had happened, questioning S was superfluous but worth doing for the sake of any concrete evidence.
"I know how crazy it sounds, but that, the humming, an alien randomly showing up and convincing me not to go in..." He raised his hands in a questioning gesture, B clearing his throat.
"What position were you in when you woke up the night you heard the noise?" He asked.
"Flat on my back with my limbs slightly out, like a starfish."
"What do you wear to bed? And was the blanket still over you?"
"Nothing, and no."
"Had you gotten a haircut recently?"
"A couple weeks before. Why? Do you have an idea?"
"Yes. It sounds like someone made a scan of your body and likely made an exosuit skin of you."
"Okay, so we're looking for something smaller than a human."
"Smaller than a nightcrawler. I assume Arquilian just from my own experience and the quality that the skin was."
"Considering that his prints were still present, we might be dealing with a very dedicated Arquilian. The fine details on it were enough to fool every operative within the building, and have not a single one notice anything off about it," V spoke up, crossing one leg over the other. "I just question why they might choose you, S. Why exactly would they have used you as a disguise?"
"I mean," S started, leaning his head against one of his hands, "Off the top of my head: I'm a heavy sleeper who sleeps naked and generally doesn't care much for workplace friendships. I was also drinking into the morning, so I was going to be hungover and late anyway. If anything, I was a grade-A disguise."
"Consider all this karmic justice for shirking your duty," B said as he got up from his spot and headed back to the door. "That's all you're needed for. You've been suspended for the time being and will remain so until the investigation is complete. You're free to go home, now. We'll contact you soon with our decision on your continued employment."
S nodded and left without another word, B closing the door behind him. V looked over at him, shaking her head, knowing S would be Saul again before the day was over.
"Do you have any theories?" She asked as he moved to the other side of the table and watched the footage.
"I assume a Junian, an Arquilian, and either a Kirotish, Kylothian, or Belfese banded together to either kidnap her or convince her to run away. We can speculate on motivation all we want, but it won't help much."
"I agree. The intent doesn't matter right now, but... Do you think they're coming back?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I just need to be sure my team is ready if this at all turns out like when Serleena returned. I won't bear a failure to protect them again."
"I understand your worry, V, but it's too early to tell."
"We both know who did this, B. Don't try to pretend that talk of peace wasn't a lie."
"We know it was now, V! But please imagine for a moment the diplomatic nightmare accusing her would cause! We have no solid proof beyond the testimony of a drunk stoner and passenger manifests and there were dozens of other ships that fit the profile we're looking for! We also can't let it be known to the universe how we treated E. I'll not divulge into details but the kidnapping of a juvenile, the indefinite imprisonment that followed, and the things Zed did will not be looked upon kindly by many species we know of and—" B broke for a moment, covering his face with his hands and laughing. "We're screwed! The Kylothians have no reason to keep anything we did a secret and one of our greatest and most shameful secrets is headed right for their ruler! We are fucked beyond any reasonable measure!"
"Wait, what‽ What about Calen? He's gotta be out there looking for her, isn't he‽"
"He is! But I'm not sure it'll do us any favors. She broke up with him yesterday, so I have my doubts he'll even be able to convince her to come back! God forbid he tries to kidnap her. O should've never entrusted something so delicate to someone so volatile."
"So why did you let it happen‽ You're practically in her lap half the day! How could you not have a say‽"
"He was going to do it with or without our blessing. Anyone else we send is gonna get slaughtered."
"He's not—"
"That bad? As one of two people on the planet who know why he's here so often, I beg to differ." B took a deep breath, straightened his posture, and steepled his fingers. "Unless you want to get neuralyzed, forget everything I just told you. That information doesn't leave this room, do I make myself clear?"
"...Crystal. Listen, are you going to be alright? This is literally the first time I've seen you so much as move your face, let alone show emotion. Have you finally cracked?"
"No. I'll be fine. Needed to get the panic out of my system, I suppose. My sincerest apologies if the outburst upset you."
"Oh, you're back again already."
"Yes, and again, secrecy. Don't even bother remembering."
"B, I've got better things to do than wander about and gossip, okay? I'm asking about the human because I'm concerned about him, not because I want his breakdown to be breaking news." V got up, reached across the table to pat him on the shoulder, and he watched as she turned and left. Only once the door closed behind her did he let himself fully collapse into a pile of panicked sobbing.
